05x11 - Season 5, Episode 11

Previously... On The Affair...

I found some sort of shrine at Dad's.

What did you do with it?

I threw it out.


Because I hate looking at her.

Two astronauts meet by chance in the International Space Station.

They fall desperately in love, but their love is doomed.

They try to forget each other. They build completely new lives with new people.

But, deep down, they secretly still love each other.

Until one day, they run into each other again on the opposite side of the galaxy.

Because all this time they thought they were moving away from each other, they were actually in orbit.

I love you.

I don't want your love.

It terrifies me, and it's caused me nothing but pain.

We can't afford a wedding, can we?

Come on, Whitney. You've been talking about having a wedding in this house since before you were in braces.

Okay, I just received the last part of my advance, and I can't think of a better thing to spend it on.

I used to think, when we had no money and we had all these kids and we were fighting, I would look at you sometimes and I would think, "One day, this is gonna be worth it.

One day, I'm gonna dance with him at Whitney's wedding."

I saw the way you look at women.

Like they're prey.

How the f*ck did you not know it was her in the hot tub?!

I would do anything... anything... To undo what happened!

If I can just give her a good wedding, with us all there together, having fun, then...

She doesn't want you there.

Jesus Christ.

♪ I was screaming into the canyon ♪

♪ At the moment of my death ♪

♪ The echo I created ♪

♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪

♪ My voice it made an avalanche ♪

♪ And buried a man I never knew ♪

♪ And when he died, his widowed bride ♪

♪ Met your daddy and they made you ♪

♪ I have only one thing to do ♪

♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪

♪ I have only one thing to do ♪

♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪

♪ I have only one thing to do ♪

♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean, sink back into the ocean ♪

♪ Sink back into the o... ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪

♪ Sink back into the o... ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪

And five, six, seven, eight.

♪♪♪ What's the next move?

You ready?

And pizza arms.

♪ I pictured a rainbow... ♪ - Pizzas.

Pi... like a pizza. Yeah.

Okay, turn.

-Spin. And spin. -Hey.

Spin. Two, three, four.

Ride the tractor.


Kick the puppy.

Kick the puppy with your right foot, Trevor.

Stacey, really? Kick the puppy.

Kick... Okay. Sorry.

-Sorry, sorry. -Stop, stop.


Okay, let's start again. Back to one.

Trevor, you kick the puppy with your right foot.

"Kick the puppy"?

-Yes. -Dad, what the f*ck does "ride the tractor" mean?

Martin, I've told you three times.

This, okay? This is ride the tractor, okay?

Ride the tractor. Kick the puppy. All right?

It's easy. Okay?

Come on, everyone.

Your sister wants a flash dance for her wedding...

Flash mob.

A flash mob for her wedding.

And that's what she's gonna get, okay?

So come on.

Let's go again.

Everyone back to one.

Okay, once more with feeling.

And, remember, you're happy!

Your sister's getting married!

So, smile.

Okay. Let's go.

-Hey. -Oh, hey.

How's it going?

It's going great. It's going great.

It's going great. Mom, come on.

Get in.

I can't. I'm the videographer.

Show me what you got. Yeah, well, it's not... it's not, uh... it's not perfect yet. It's not...

I'll be kind. We're still-still developing.

Just show me. - Yeah, Dad, are we doing this or what? It's f*cking freezing.

Yes, Trevor. Let's go.


Five, six, seven, eight!


♪ I pictured a rainbow ♪ Nice.

♪ You held it in your hands ♪ Sierra, are you ready?

♪ I had flashes ♪

♪ But you saw the plan ♪

♪ I wandered ♪

♪ Out in the world ♪ - Okay.

♪ For years ♪ - Martin, Trevor, Stacey, go!

♪ While you just stayed in your room ♪

♪ I saw the crescent ♪

♪ You saw the whole ♪

♪ Of the moon ♪ - And everyone!


♪ The whole of the moon ♪

♪ Mmm, you were there in the turnstiles ♪

♪ With the wind at your heels ♪

♪ You stretched for the stars ♪

♪ And you know how it feels to reach too high ♪

♪ Too far ♪

♪ Too soon ♪

♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪

Hey, Trev. Can I borrow you for a second?


I need your help.

I'm writing my toast.

Trevor, I know you hate me, but consider this a favor to your sister.

I don't hate you.

It's okay if you do.

I hated my dad, too.

No. No, really, I don't.

I just... I wish you'd been around more.

Me, too.


Good talk.

Hey, how's it going?


I can't believe they're making me do this.

Well, you said yes.

What was I supposed to say?

What the hell do I know about getting married?

Well, doesn't she have some poems or something she wants people to read?


So, then they... say their vows, exchange rings and then kiss, right?

How hard could it be?

She wants me to say something.

Something important.

Well, you like Colin, right?

I mean, of all the boyfriends she's ever had, he's definitely my favorite.

What do you like about him?

He's not a dick.

He treats her well.

He's a decent guy.

I mean, honestly, like, it could have been much worse.

Well, why don't you just say that?

I mean, not the part about it being worse, but...

Sure, I mean, she's getting a good deal out of it.

I'm just not sure what's in it for him.

What do you mean?

I just don't know why anyone would want to marry my sister.

-Martin. -Dad, come on.

She's a lot.

Whitney is a lot.

Yeah, that's what makes her great.

When I get married, I'm gonna choose someone much easier.

Yeah, well, you're welcome to choose whoever you want, but you may change your mind in a few years.

Your sister's really smart and passionate and believes deeply in things.

And, yeah, she can be a little dramatic, but she's gonna keep his life really interesting.

I get, from where you're sitting, it... you know, she seems like a lot of work, but...

I think you realize, as you get older, the person you want to live with is not, is not the one who's... keeps telling you how wonderful you are.

It's the one who you just can't stop talking to

'cause you have no idea what she's gonna say next.

I think Colin got pretty lucky, too, you know.

You should say that.

I got to go.

I'm really, really busy.

Yeah, well, good luck.

You, too.


-Hey. -Hey.

Uh, I was just checking to see if you're okay.

D-Do you need anything or...?

They just told me to get dressed in here, so...

Of course. Yeah, no, this is the son-in-law suite.

I actually remember shaving in that bathroom just before my wedding.


Wow, you use a straight razor.


It was my dad's.

Oh, where are your parents?

Are they, are they here yet?

Uh, no.

They couldn't make it, actually.

Oh. Why?

Well, they wanted to, of course.

Got them a flight from Belfast and everything.

But, um... my dad got arrested, so...


Yeah, I don't know why I just told you that.

Please don't tell Whitney. I just told her he was sick.

No, no. Of course I won't.

I mean, is-is everything okay?

Um, anything I can do?

-I'm sorry. -Colin.

I shouldn't have gotten him a ticket.

I knew he would do this.

Such a waste of f*cking money.

What happened? Is he okay?

He is fine. He's just drunk.

He does this.

Especially when he gets stressed.

And flying stresses him out.

So I should have known.

Colin, I'm so sorry.

How about your mother? Is she... can she make it?

I don't think so. She... missed her flight, and it's too complicated for her to figure out how to get the ticket reissued, so...

It's fine.

I'll just send her some pictures.

-She'll like that. -Wait.

Where is she now?

What do you mean?

Well, if I get her a new ticket, is she, is she near an airport?

I mean, how-how-how long is the flight?

It's about seven hours.

Okay, so... what, she can be here by 10 or 11?

You want to try it?

You really don't have to do that, Mr. Solloway.

Look, first of all, call me Noah.

And, secondly, I'd really, really like to help.


Because you're family.

You get a pretty bad rap in this family, Noah.

Yeah, well, I've done some things to deserve that.

Also, the Solloway women are pretty tough.

Good luck with yours.

Here's the thing about the family you're marrying into.

We're all batshit crazy and we can be brutal with each other.

But when the sh1t hits the fan, we show up.

It's not much, but... it's not nothing.

Where I come from, it's a lot.

Thank you.

Yeah. Okay.

So, boarding in... 90 minutes?

Great. Okay, can you send me the confirmation?

Yeah, that's my e-mail. Thank you.

Perfect. Bye.

What was that about?

Nothing. Wow.

You look great.

Thank you.

This is really nice.

Really, really nice.

I think it's time.

I know.

♪ Slow, somber music ♪


What the...?



Are you, uh, Helen Butler?


Uh, these are for Helen.

Can you sign?


Here's the note.

-Here you go. -All right.

-Thanks. -Have a good day.

It was Victor Hugo, you asshole.

Hey, buddy!

Can you move out of the way?

Oh, f*ck.

Hey, Bruce. Bruce.

Bruce, where are you going?

It isn't safe.

What isn't safe?

They're after me. I have to leave.

-Come on, let's go back... -Don't touch me, -you f*cking pig. -It's okay. Okay.

It's okay, Bruce. It's fine. You're safe.

Come on, let's go back inside.

Don't you understand?

I can't go back in there. I don't know them.

I don't know any of those people.

Well, you-you know me.

Don't you? You know me.


Michael, is that you?

Yeah, it's me.

How are you, Bruce?

Uh, it's good to see you again.

Oh, you made it.

You made it.

Yeah, I made it.

Oh. They said you were dead.

They told me you weren't coming back.

Well, they were wrong.

Do Mom and Dad know?

No. Not-not yet.

No, I was, uh... they're waiting for us inside.

I-I thought I'd come and find you first.

Will you come back and s-see them with me?

Oh, Michael, I can't believe it's really you.

It's really you.

Oh. Oh.

My... my little brother. My boy.

Come on, Bruce. Come on.

Let's-let's go find Mom and Dad.

Come on.

You're okay.

Oh, f*ck. Here, Bruce.

Bruce. Come here.


Hide there. Okay? Just hide there.

What are we doing? Is this a game?

Yeah, it's a game. We have to be quiet, okay?

♪ Gentle music ♪


Oh, this is a great hiding place.

Mom and Dad will never find us.

No, they won't.

They'll never even know we were here.



♪ suspenseful music ♪


Oh, f*ck.


♪ contemplative music ♪






One second, then.

My ears.

What can I do for you?

Can I get a cup of coffee?

A customer.

Welcome to the end of the world.

You can sit wherever you like.

I'll bring it to you.

♪ Plaintive music ♪



This your first time in Montauk?

No, I grew up here.


Did you now?

A local.

That's a rarity around here.

My mom actually worked here for a bit before I was born.


Here. This restaurant.

Well, I'll be damned.

Um... could I just get some eggs?


Coming right up.


Do you know where I can get some gas?


For a car.

Not anymore.


These are so tiny.

Mom, this is taking too long, okay?

I'm just gonna do it myself. No, no, no, no, no.

I'm almost done. I'm almost done.

Stop. Stop. Hold still.

Did everyone make it?

I think so.

No one canceled last minute, right?

I'm worried they might.

Colin's friends are such flakes.

I just... I don't want there to be any empty seats.

Well, you'd have to ask your father.

-Why? -Because he was keeping the guest list.

Mom, I, I asked you to take care of that. I thought you did.

Yes, I know. But he sent out the invitations and it just seemed much simpler.

And, Whitney, does it really matter?

I mean, come on.

It matters to me.

Wha... Okay. Seriously? You dropped it?

I, no... I...

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

I didn't mean to, it's just that... it's just that you turned so quickly.

Jesus, Helen, why are you even here?

Because I... thought you might need my help.

Oh, my God. Do not make this about you right now.

I do not have time for that today.

Where did you learn to be so hard on people, Whitney?

Why am I here?

If I bother you that much?

Why am I here? Why didn't you just disinvite me like you did your dad?

Optics. Think about it.

It would have looked terrible.

I do not want to have the same relationship with you as I do with my own mother.

But I don't know how to avoid it right now.

Well, you could try listening to me for a change.

That would be a fun start. I do listen to you.

No, you don't. You listen for what you want to hear.

And that's not the same thing.

I don't... I-I don't... understand what you mean.

Okay. Right. Ask me a question.

One that you don't think that you already know the answer to.

Are you in love?

I think so.

You're not sure?


Why not?

I don't know, I'm not obsessed with him.

Uh... it's not like you and Dad.

I... I don't think about him all the time.

I don't wonder if he's okay.

Sometimes a whole day goes by and I just forget about him.

And does that worry you?

No, it doesn't worry me, Mom. I'm not like you.

I don't want my marriage to be the great adventure of my life.

Is that what you think I wanted?

Isn't it?

Peekaboo! It's almost time.

Are you ready?

What the hell is going on in here?

Whitney, for God's sake, get your shoes on.

God, your mother is so useless.

I should have known, when I sent her in here to help you get ready, that absolutely nothing would be accomplished.

Okay, Grandma, look, I'm ready. See?

Stand over there, so I can see.

What do you think?

I think she looks perfect.

She certainly looks better than you did at your wedding. That's something.

-Grandma. -Is that what you're wearing?

Wow, you are really in rare form today.

Helen, I've got 60 people in the backyard, including some shifty hooligans masquerading as musicians.

It's a band. They're Whitney's friends.

It's 42 degrees outside, your father has already wandered off twice.

He's currently tied to a chair.

The chef just locked her key in the catering van and can't get the croquembouche out, and the dog seems to be dying.

You don't have a dog!

I didn't say I had a dog.

I said there is a dog on the property that seems to be perilously close to its final demise.

How's that for an omen for my granddaughter's wedding?

Grandma, shut the f*ck up! Whit, it's okay.

No! No, it's not okay. She's a f*cking monster.

Yes, I know, but she's our monster.

Okay, so you just go outside.

Take a couple of Xanax. Have a drink.

Try to have a good time.

Everything is under control.

Whit, you look beautiful, but even if you didn't, you know, it doesn't f*cking matter, 'cause this is really just one incredibly expensive day that has absolutely no influence or augury or bearing on the rest of your life.

-Are you ready? -I'm ready.

What's that?

It's, um, Whitney's "band."

Oh, God, let's do this.

♪♪♪ No, you first, daughter.


♪ Quiet, atmospheric music ♪


My lady.

Oh, Whit, you look amazing.

Thank you, honey.

You, too.

Thank you, Stacey, these are beautiful.

I'm so happy you're all my children.

Okay. Mom, why don't you go out and tell them we're ready to start?

-Okay. -Okay.

All right, you two. You're up.

Get out there.

See you in a bit.

So handsome.

So beautiful.

-Thank you. -Thanks, Mom.

All right, you ready?


Um... How do you want to do this?

Should... uh, do you want my arm or something?

I think... maybe... like this?


Wait, you got... oh, my gosh, right here.

Let me see.

-Okay. -Okay.

-Ready? -Yes.


♪ Little airplane in the sky ♪

♪ You point up at it ♪

♪ I watch your face as you watch it go by ♪

♪ Everything is perfect ♪

♪ Where would I be right now ♪

♪ If all my dreams had come true? ♪

♪ Deep down I know somehow ♪

♪ I'd have never seen your face ♪

♪ This world would be a different place ♪

♪ Darling, there's no way to know ♪

♪ Which way your heart will go ♪

I just want you to be happy, Mom.

♪ Summer sun on a sandy slide ♪

♪ Silver swing set shining ♪

♪ How can life feel so alive ♪

♪ And still feel like dying? ♪

♪ Where would I be right now ♪

♪ If all my dreams had come true? ♪

♪ Deep down I know somehow, I'd... ♪ Testing. One, two, three.

Testing. One, two, three.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to my sister's wedding.

Holy sh1t.

♪ Which way your heart will go ♪

♪ Get into my car now ♪

♪ The sun is sinking down ♪

♪ We've got about an hour ♪

♪ Let's leave the city ♪ Sure.

♪ The monkey on my back's ♪

♪ Been going apeshit now ♪

♪ He's got his symbols out... ♪

-Who has Eddie today? -His parents do.

They live in Great Neck.

Hmm. Wow.

Really? That's convenient. Yeah. I used to do summers out here as a kid.

You know that restaurant, The Lobster Roll?

I do.

Well, um, my greatest ambition as a kid was to be a waiter there.

-You're kidding. -No. During the summers, they had all these young, tan, gorgeous waitstaff, and I thought life couldn't get any cooler than that.

Did you ever get a job there?


But I think I might shoot something there one day.

You should. That would be amazing.

Yeah, it would make a great location.

If everyone wouldn't mind leaving the dance floor, the next song up is a special one that Colin would like to dedicate to his bride.

Oh, sh1t, it's happening.

Let's go.


♪ I pictured a rainbow ♪

♪ You held it in your hands ♪

♪ I had flashes ♪

♪ But you saw the plan ♪

♪ I wandered out in the world for years ♪

♪ While you just stayed in your room ♪

♪ I saw the crescent ♪


♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪

♪ The whole of the moon ♪

♪ Hmm, you were there in the turnstiles ♪

♪ With the wind at your heels ♪

♪ You stretched for the stars ♪

♪ And you know how it feels to reach too high ♪

♪ Too far ♪

♪ Too soon ♪

♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪

♪ I was grounded ♪

♪ While you filled the skies ♪

♪ I was dumbfounded by truth ♪

♪ You cut through lies ♪

♪ I saw the rain dirty valley ♪

♪ You saw Brigadoon ♪

♪ I saw the crescent ♪

♪ You saw the whole of the moon... ♪

Mom. Come on.

No, I'm filming!


Now it's time for our father-daughter, mother-son dance.

So, kids, find your parents and get them out there.

It's so corny.

It's a wedding, Mom, suck it up.

♪ Maybe we'll be together ♪

♪ When the sun disappears... ♪ Who's Colin dancing with?

Oh, that's his mother.


Think she just got here.

She'd missed her flight or something.

She came all the way from Ireland.

♪ You could be my little sister ♪ I'll have to introduce myself.

♪ You could be my mother, too ♪

♪ Whoa, I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ Yeah, I'll meet you at the corner... ♪ You know what?

Think you should go dance with your sister.

You sure?

-Yep, definitely. -Okay.

♪ Though I'm not feeling quite right ♪

♪ But I wanna see you still ♪

♪ Yeah, I always wanna see you ♪

♪ 'Cause you look inside my pain ♪

♪ And you cup it with your hands ♪

♪ And you call it by its name ♪

♪ Then you bury it between us ♪

♪ In the dirt between our feet ♪

♪ And we grow from it together ♪

♪ Like a weeping willow tree ♪

♪ Maybe we'll watch together ♪

♪ As the stars write our names ♪

♪ From a raft we've been building ♪

♪ Out of hailstones and flames ♪

♪ And I could be your little brother ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ I could be your father, too ♪

♪ Whoa, I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ Yeah, I'll meet you at the hideout ♪

♪ Where the sticks are lean and tall ♪

♪ Where the light is growing darker ♪

♪ Where we don't feel scared at all ♪

♪ 'Cause your arms are wrapped around me ♪

♪ With your face against my neck ♪

♪ We know magic doesn't happen ♪

♪ Without patience and respect ♪

♪ And the halls have all blown open ♪

♪ And the truth is running free ♪

♪ There ain't nothing in this world ♪

♪ More alive than you and me ♪

♪ There ain't nothing in this world ♪

♪ More alive than you and me ♪

♪ There ain't no one in this world ♪

♪ More in love than you and me ♪

♪ More in love than you and me ♪

♪ More in love than you and me ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I will race you to the light ♪

♪ I will race you to the light ♪

♪ I will race you to the light ♪

♪ I will race you to the light ♪

♪ I will race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ I'll race you to the light ♪

♪ song ends ♪

What's wrong?


Well, why aren't you at the wedding?

Can I come in? I'm freezing.



Yeah, I think so.


Yeah, I'd love one.

Thank you.


Thank you.

Why are you looking at me like that?

I just want to know what you're doing here, not at our daughter's wedding.

I came to show you this.


-She looks happy. -She is.

Should've joined them.

Well, I never do.


♪ You saw the plan ♪

♪ I wandered out in... ♪ Do you remember our wedding?

-Yeah, really well. -Hmm. I don't.

Well, I think you were pretty stoned.

Yeah, I know, but that's not it.

That's not... It's just I think...

What I think is, I'm never present anywhere.

♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪ I think I'm just always so... worried about what's gonna go wrong, and how am I gonna fix it, and what's the story gonna be, and how am I gonna tell it, and who am I gonna tell it to?

I thought that was my problem.

I know.

But that's not really true, is it?

I mean, look at you, you've made one decision after another.

I haven't made any decisions. I never make any decisions.

I just let sh1t happen to me, and then I just feel bad about it, sad about it.

I just complain about it.

I don't think that's necessarily true, but okay.

I didn't even plan this wedding; you did.

-Well, you were busy. -Yeah.

And don't think I don't know what people would say if they knew that I showed up here right now.

"There's Helen, codependent again."

What people are we talking about?

Look, I don't know why it has to be a pathology that I show up here.

I mean, maybe I just want to be with you. You know?


And I'm also really f*cking tired of everyone telling everyone else what's good for them.

You know? Nobody does what's good for them.

And if they do, they certainly don't enjoy it.

And another thing.

You have a couple that stays married for, let's say, 50 years.

You don't think that there's an element of codependency in that relationship?

I mean, you think these people would stay married for half a century because they wanted to?

That's insane.

Helen, are you okay? D-Do you want to...?

Do you want to sit down?

No, I think I might be having a nervous breakdown, so I just... it's better if I stand up.

Okay, well, at least

-have some more salt. -That's a good idea.

Do you know, if you had had an affair 50 years ago, we never would've broken up?

We never would have mentioned it, really, to anybody.

You certainly wouldn't have written a f*cking book about it.

And if we had mentioned it, I would have been given credit for standing by you.

You know, for putting our family before my own personal feelings.

I would have been congratulated for my character.

50 years ago, I would have been a good f*cking wife, and now I'm the problem.

Well, more like 60 years ago, -but I see your point. -I mean, I just...

I don't even know what's going on here.

I don't know what I'm trying to prove.

I mean, if we both die and you never find out that I still love you, what, do I win a prize or something?

Sorry, what?

I don't know, I think maybe I am crazy.

Well, you know that's not true.

Look, you know how I feel about you.

I don't know what you want me to say.

Um, yes, I do think it's strange that you're not at Whitney's wedding right now.

And it does feel like a familiar pattern between us where I get exiled and you come rescue me.

And we know how that ends. Don't we?

But I'm not saying you've got a pathology or anything wrong with you.

But even if we do love each other, it... doesn't mean we're good for each other.

What does that mean...

"good for each other"?

Well, I think certain couples have hurt each other less than we have.

I think certain couples have loved each other less than we have, too.


I mean, what's the endgame here?

We're just supposed to get old and lose our-our... hearing and our hair... our memory, and then we die?

I guess so.

You know, I know the story I'm supposed to tell is that this all happened for a reason and that...

I'm stronger now because of what happened, and so I'm better now than I was when we were together.

And most of the time, I do really believe that that's true.

But some days when I'm feeling really... sad or really happy...

And I just think about how we're not here for long at all.

And when we're gone, we're gone forever.

Those are the days I just forget to remember that it all happened for the best.

Will you dance with me?

On our daughter's wedding day?

Tell me more about the wedding.

It was very nice.

It was a little twee, very Whitney.

How were the vows?

They were sweet.

What did they say?

Um, he promised to be nice to her, and then she promised to be nice to him.

-Mm, that's good. -Yeah.

That should keep them going for the first six months.

Maybe she won't make the same mistakes we did.

Well, maybe she'll catch them quicker.


You know, I used to think I could look at you and know exactly what you were thinking.

How wrong I was.

Well, give it a shot.

No. - Come on.

Try again for old times' sake.

What am I thinking right now?

Well, it looks like you're thinking you want to kiss me, but...

See? You've still got it.

♪ Gentle music ♪



Tag, you're it.

Oh, no!

Yay! - I got you.

Can I clear this away?


Is everything all right?


You seem a little sad.

I'm always like this.

Oh, that's a good book.

I'm reading that myself.

Yeah, it's okay.

You don't like it?

I'm sort of loosely connected to the author, so I have a kind of weird perspective on it.


What's that?

Are you this curious with everyone who comes in here?

Well, I don't have many customers anymore.

You're my first this week.

Look, I have a big decision to make, so if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone.

Well, be brave.


Make the difficult choice.

I wasn't actually asking for your advice.

Well, I'm offering it anyway.

The universe rewards courage.

Mister, I just found out that my mom's boyfriend murdered her

30 years ago and got away with it, so I don't need your f*cking advice.

How much do I owe you?

What did you say?

-How much do I owe you? -No, what did...

What did you say about your mother?

You know what?

-Charge me anything you want. -No.


♪ Tense, dramatic music ♪


-Oh, my God. Oh, my God. -What the f*ck?

You have a shotgun? What are you doing here?

Where did you get a shotgun? It's my father's.

No sh1t. That must be an antique.

-Can I see it? -EJ.

Okay. Okay. Not the right thing to say.

How'd you find me?

Sorry, were you trying to hide?

I took my bracelet off.

Because we had s*x last night.

I left it at a restaurant.

And I thought we kind of had a connection.

I'm untraceable. My own husband has no idea

-where I am right now. -It wasn't hard.

I have a tracking device in my car. Wait, what?

-You have a what? -What did you just say?

I think you heard me.

Can you put the gun down?

Well, I have to admit, I feel kind of used.

-Sorry. -You didn't seem like the type to lie.

I'm kind of a disaster of a person, EJ.

I thought you would have figured that out by now.

How'd it go with Ben?

Oh, it was terrific.

I signed some kind of release when I first got there.

Didn't look at it.

And apparently I admitted to being mental.


So when I brought the police back, he showed them the release and played them a recording of me saying I wanted to kill him.

-What? -And they sided with him.

Oh, my God, Joanie.

I'm so sorry.


Guess I'll just have to finish this myself.

So, what, you're just gonna go back and shoot him?

Looks likely.

They'll put you away for life.

It'll be worth it.

I have a better idea.

-What? -Run away with me.

I just told you I was married.

I don't care.

Why not?

Because you obviously don't care.

You're clearly not happy with your husband.

If you were, you wouldn't be here with me.

I was alone here. You just stalked me.

My job is flying me to Vienna tomorrow evening to speak at a conference.

Why don't you come with me?

And we can just... keep going.

Sorry. I have to finish this.

What good will it do to kill him?

It's not gonna bring your mother back.

That's not what this is about.

-He can't just get away with it. -Joanie...

Hey, hey, I like you.

I really like you.

You're f*cking honest.

You live your life with your eyes still open.

And almost nobody f*cking does that anymore.

I'm so sick of trying to fix my parents' mistakes.

We didn't f*ck this planet up, they did.

Why should we have to fix it?

Let them go, Joanie.

Let them all go.

You don't owe your life to any of them.


Wait, what? Really?

That speech, that speech worked?

Car's out of gas.

I figured.

I brought some with me.

Okay, let's go.

♪ Contemplative music ♪



I have to tell you something.

I, um... haven't been entirely honest with you either.

Oh, God.

Are you married, too?

No. But, um...

My full name is Eddie James Ullah.

Does that mean anything to you?

-Should it? -No.

No, not necessarily.

It's just that my father was sort of... loosely affiliated with your mother.


Alison's second husband Noah Solloway... his first wife was a woman named Helen Solloway.

And after they divorced, she met my father.

Your mother is Helen Solloway?

Uh, no.

Um, my mother's name is Sierra.

My father's name was Vik.

They had an affair when he was with Helen, and that's where I come from.

Are we related?

What? No, no, no.

-Are you sure? -Yes. No way.

My mother is your mother's ex-husband's ex-wife's new partner's lover.

So we could not be less related.

Did you know I was gonna be in the graveyard that day?

How would I have known that? I don't know.

Why didn't you just tell me who you were?

Look, it's like six degrees of separation.

It's not a big deal.

Well, then, why did you hide it?

Well, I wasn't trying to hide it.

Just stop the car.

-Come on. -Please stop the car.

Joanie, you're overreacting.

Nothing has changed.

I'm still the same person I was

30 seconds ago in that car. You lied to me.

I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you the whole story.

And you didn't tell me the whole story.

You've been married this whole time.

I mean, come on.

I thought we understood each other.

What is it you thought you understood?

That we're not sheep.

That we both play by different rules.

This is stupid.

-I can't go to Vienna with you. -Why not?

We were just f*cking, EJ, that's all it was.

Why are you trying to turn it into something else?

Are you really so desperate for someone to love?

I guess I am.

What are you even doing here?

Why are you so obsessed with my family?

Is it some sort of transitive whore property?


Your mother and my mother both f*cked over the same woman.

My mother and Helen were friends.


Helen was like a second mother to me.

There-there is such a thing as forgiveness.

I realize that that's completely out of your frame of reference, but there are certain people who are actually capable of it.

And believe it or not, this place was part of my childhood, too.

My mother and I came out here and stayed with Helen's parents when I was young.

I worked construction here when I was in college.

I even helped restore the Lobster Roll when Noah bought it, so you're not

-the only person... -Wait, what?

Who this town means something to.

And, yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Maybe I was attracted to you because we shared a certain history.

Because I thought you might be able to understand my pain, and I might be able to understand yours.

-Is that such a crime?

-No. -And I wanted to tell you.

I was going to, but... you were just always dealing with so much trauma, you didn't really let me get a word in edgewise.

You're right.



I meant everything I said back there.

So will you please get back in the car now?

-Please. -EJ, this isn't right.

We're just gonna wind up hating each other.

No, I won't.

Yes, you will.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

So you have seen a movie.

It was my mother's favorite film.

Why am I not surprised?

♪ Quiet, haunting music ♪


So, what, you're just gonna go back to your husband?

No, I don't think so.

So where the hell will you go?

I don't know.

Your mother and Helen were really friends?

Good friends.

So it's possible.

What's possible?

To do things differently.

Can I at least give you a lift somewhere?

I'd like to walk.


Hello again.

Hey, Noah.

Your father knew.

Knew what?

He always said Ben must have killed her.

'Cause she would never have chosen to leave you.

My dad said that?

That surprises you?

Um, a little, actually.

He spent his entire life saying the opposite.

Well, what did he tell you?

That she was crazy.

That he tried to save her and he couldn't.

And that we were better off without her.

Oh, wow.

That breaks my heart.

You have to understand, Joanie, your father was carrying a tremendous amount of pain.

Sounds like you cared about him.

Well, "cared" is a strong word, I mean...

No, I respected Cole.

I think, under the circumstances, that's the most one could expect.

How long have you been back in Montauk?

I moved back here after my oldest daughter's wedding, which was 30 years ago now.

-That's when we left. -I know.

And the day Cole came back into town, he walked through that door and...

I think both of us nearly had a heart attack.

But time has a habit of making these-these big things seem small somehow.

It's so good to see you, Joanie.

It really is so good to see you.

Tell me about your life.

What-what do you, uh, what do you do?

I'm a coastal engineer.

I'm trying to save the world from drowning.


Do you have any children?


Boys or girls?

Daughters. Thea and Madeline.

That's wonderful, Joanie.


I can only love them when I'm away from them.

When I'm away from them, I miss them terribly.

But when I'm with them, I can't...

I can't even hold them and I don't know why.

I have this friend who's a, uh, he's an epigeneticist.

And he has a theory about trauma being passed down.

What's his name?

Uh, Eddie. He's like a, he's kind of like a-a nephew of mine.


-Go on. -Well, he says that trauma can be passed from one generation to another.

That it actually changes the DNA.

And he says there are studies where, uh, where there are rats who... who are shocked every time they, uh, smell cherry blossom.

And then they breed the rats and their babies are afraid of cherry blossom.

Wow. Amazing.

Anyway, my point is that your parents went through a lot of trauma.

They, I mean, they lost a child.

So it would make sense that you, too, were afraid of loss.

And maybe even a bit paralyzed by it.

Yeah, no, I know a bit about that theory.

There's a question about whether the children of trauma survivors also inherit their resilience.

Oh, I didn't know that.

That's wonderful.

So maybe you inherited her resilience as well.

You mean his resilience.

No, no, no, I mean hers.

No. No offense to Cole, but he-he never changed.

I mean, your mother always said that Cole used to run away from his problems.

But Alison, she was always working on herself.

She was a work in progress and she knew it.

She was so present.

Feeling everything so deeply and...

She made herself stay awake and was so disappointed when other people seem so asleep in their lives.

Noah, when I was four years old, she dumped me on Cole and Luisa's doorstep and took off.

To get help.

And then, six months later, she came back and she fought your father in court.

No, she didn't.

You-you don't know this?

I thought they just let her have me back because they felt sorry for her.

No, Joanie, no, no.

Cole and Luisa tried to keep you from her.

She had to humiliate herself.

It was devastating. You... they never told you this?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Joanie, it's very important you know this: you were her whole life.

Everything she did, she did for you.

She tried to get help so that she could be there for you.

She was trying to give you a better life than she had, and she was succeeding.

You know, she's... she's one of the only people I've ever met in my whole life who, who actually managed to change.

When I met her, she was this shell of a person, and by the time she died, she had a job helping other people heal from the same trauma that she had and...

Do you know how difficult that is?

How few people actually achieve that?

She was still dating married men.

Oh, she didn't know he was married.

What-what happened with Ben, that... that was not her fault.

Well, what good did it do her?

All those changes?

-He killed her anyway. -Joanie, if the lesson you're taking away from your mother's death is not to try, then that's a great, great tragedy.

Change is hard.

It takes a long time.

Sometimes m-more than a lifetime.

What the f*ck does that mean?

♪ Slow, somber music ♪ Sometimes we can only start journeys that our children have to finish for us.

It's too late to hear those things.

-It's not too late. -Yes, it is.

I've already screwed it all up.

I can't go off with someone new.

And I can't go home.

So, instead, I'm f*cking stuck here in some sort of seafood purgatory... talking to you.

Why can't you go home?

Why don't you tell me, Noah? You seem to know a lot.

Why... why can't I go home?

Well, maybe 'cause it's hard.

Going home is hard.

Staying with someone, loving them no matter what, that's hard.

It's so easy to... go find someone new, reinvent yourself in their eyes, and try once more to live without flaw, but sooner or later you realize the only thing you're running from is death.

It's not another person at all, it's... it's death, and... when that finally occurs to you, you...

you yearn more than anything for someone who really knows you.

Who really knows every inch of you.

And will remember you when you're gone.

What are you trying to say?

What I'm trying to say is that if... if trauma and pain can echo through generations, then so can love.

If abandonment can ripple across time, then so can presence.

I mean, you-you've suffered a lot of loss in your life, Joanie, but you've also had a lot of love.

And you may not be able to save the Earth.

But you can be there for your children.

No matter what happens.

♪ Same clothes the last time ♪

♪ You disappointed me ♪

♪ I've got those same clothes the last time ♪

♪ You disappointed me ♪

♪ You gotta help me... ♪ Don't tell anyone, but I miss Dad.


Where do you think he is tonight?

He's here.

What do you mean? He's here?

No, no. He's in Montauk.

I think.

At least he was this morning.

-Why? -We rehearsed your flash mob.


I don't think you were supposed to know that.


How could you not tell me he was in Montauk?

He told us not to.

He thought it would upset you.

But he had to be here.

He basically planned the entire wedding.

I thought Mom took over the wedding planning.

She told me she would.

No, I think maybe you told her that she was going to.

Look, it was a group effort, and we all pitched in.

Yeah. I don't know why you're so upset.

I think it came together really well.

What, so he's just somewhere by himself right now while we're all enjoying the party?

Well, you said you didn't want him here.

Where the f*ck is he even staying?

At the Memory Motel.

Of course you know that, Stacey.

You're such a f*cking daddy's girl.

Hey. She's 12.

Look, I just think it's really awful that none of you told me that he was coming here.

As if I'm the crazy one, like...

We don't think you're crazy, Whit.

We just wanted you to have a good day.

All of us, him included.

How could you let him come here?

I thought you understood. You of all people.

I do understand.

Your father's made some real mistakes and you've had to bear the brunt of them.

But he does love you, Whit.

And he wanted to do this for you.

Even if he couldn't be here to see it.


Yeah. He's got you all fooled.

He bought my mother a plane ticket.

He didn't have to do that.

He did?


Excuse me.

Could I get a dance with the bride?

Of course, Grandpa.


What's wrong, kiddo?

You're awfully perceptive for someone with dementia.

Well, this is a good day.

So tell me, what's on your mind?

It's your wedding day. You don't look happy.

Sometimes I don't know what to think.

About what?

If people hurt you very badly, do you have to forgive them?


But sometimes it hurts you more than it hurts them to hold a grudge.

What's it all for, then?

If people can act however they want and get forgiven, then what is the point of trying to be good in the first place?

I think it's about what kind of life you want to live.

You will have plenty of opportunities to be angry in your life.

You have less chance to love people, though.

Really love them.

So you just... you want to be careful how many of those opportunities you squander.

I think young people believe they'll just keep coming, but they don't.

Grandpa, can you help me with something?

Anything for you.

You really think he's gonna do it?

-He said he would. -What if he forgets?

He was totally lucid a moment ago.

It seems really dangerous.

He has Alzheimer's. Do you have a better way to sneak out of this wedding?

We can just walk out.

She can't, you idiot. She's the bride.

Oh, my God, here he comes. Okay, okay. Um...

Do we know the plan? Cake knife?

-Check. -Platter?

-Yeah. Check. -Okay.


Oh, my God. Bruce!

♪ "She Will Have Her Way" by Neil Finn ♪ Bruce!

No! Okay. Go, go, go, go. Okay.

Go find your sister.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

I love you so much.

♪ I might be old, but I'm someone new ♪

♪ She said... ♪ I found champagne!

I got the coats!

♪ I could cry always ♪

♪ In the night lay your tired arms ♪

♪ She will have her way... ♪

-Shh. -Are we sure about this?

♪ Believe her ♪ Come on.

♪ She's the life I've been frightened of... ♪ Go, go, go.

♪ Deathly silence and especially the dark ♪

♪ Feels like I am heavy ♪

♪ And my spirit has died... ♪

-Everyone stop! Back up! -Whoa...

-Back up! -Jesus Christ.

-What is it? -What is going on?

-Mom is in there. -So?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

-Nice. -This is so difficult.

-What do we do? -I don't know, Whit.

♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do, ah-ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Still no end in sight ♪

♪ Though I travel far and wide ♪

♪ A dying man is doing time... ♪ This is gonna be a great story.

♪ She will have her way ♪

♪ Somehow I will still ♪

♪ Believe her ♪

♪ She will have her way ♪

♪ One day I will ♪

♪ Come ♪

♪ Back ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah... ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah... ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ She will have her way ♪

♪ When her time is up one day ♪

♪ Yeah, she will have her way ♪

♪ She will have her way ♪

Now... where were we?



Ah, yeah.

Ah, yes.

Chapter three.

"My parents were an odd couple."

"Him tall, patient but lazy."

"Her small, impatient and assiduous."

Ah, yeah.

Assiduous is right.

♪ Gentle, ambient music ♪


You know this doesn't mean anything, right?

-I do. -Okay.

You know, tomorrow we're gonna wake up and pretend this never happened, right?

Because you know we're both too old to change, right?

I do.

Hey, you know you're crying, right?

I do.

You know I love you?

I do.

You want to try this again?

I do.

I have to go, love.

I'll be back tomorrow.


♪ Soaring music ♪


Mom's home!

Mom's home?!

-Mom's home! Mom's home! -Mom's home!

I got to go talk to your dad, okay?

Paul, I'm so sorry.

-I love you. -I love you.

♪ "The Whole of the Moon" by Fiona Apple ♪


♪ I pictured a rainbow ♪

♪ You held it in your hands ♪

♪ I had flashes ♪

♪ But you saw the plan ♪

♪ I wandered out in the world ♪

♪ For years ♪

♪ While you just stayed in your room ♪

♪ I saw the crescent ♪

♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪

♪ You were there in the turnstiles ♪

♪ With the wind at your heels ♪

♪ You stretched for the stars ♪

♪ And you know how it feels ♪

♪ To reach too high ♪

♪ Too far ♪

♪ Too soon ♪

♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪

♪ I was grounded ♪

♪ While you filled the skies ♪

♪ I was dumbfounded ♪

♪ By truth ♪

♪ You cut through lies ♪

♪ I saw the rain dirty valley ♪

♪ You saw Brigadoon ♪

♪ I saw the crescent ♪

♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪

♪ I spoke about wings ♪

♪ You just flew ♪

♪ I wondered, I guessed and I tried ♪

♪ You just knew ♪

♪ I sighed ♪

♪ But you swooned ♪

♪ I saw the crescent ♪

♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪

♪ The whole of the moon ♪

♪ With a torch in your pocket ♪

♪ And the wind at your heels ♪

♪ You climbed on the ladder ♪

♪ And you know how it feels ♪

♪ To get too high ♪

♪ Too far, too soon ♪

♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪

♪ The whole of the moon ♪

♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ Unicorns and cannonballs ♪

♪ Palaces and piers ♪

♪ Trumpets, towers and tenements ♪

♪ Wide oceans full of tears ♪

♪ Flags, rags, ferryboats ♪

♪ Scimitars and scarves ♪

♪ Every precious dream and vision ♪

♪ Underneath the stars ♪

♪ Yes, you climbed on the ladder ♪

♪ With the wind in your sails ♪

♪ You came like a comet ♪

♪ Blazing your trail ♪

♪ Too high, too far ♪

♪ Too soon ♪

♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪

♪ The whole of the moon ♪

♪ The whole of the moon ♪

♪ You saw the whole ♪