03x18 - Here Comes the Sun

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Fuller House". Aired February 2016 - June 2020.*
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"Fuller House" revolves around the recently widowed D.J. Tanner-Fuller, who is now a veterinarian and mother of three sons. After her husband dies, she enlists the help of her sister and her best friend to move in and help her raise her boys.
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03x18 - Here Comes the Sun

Post by bunniefuu »

Good morning, Deej. —Hey, Kimmy.

Ugh. I feel terrible.

That's wonderful.

Is it morning sickness?

No. I feel terrible because I feel great.

I still don't think I'm pregnant.

Oh. Now I feel terrible.

I'll know one way or another today.

I got the doctor to squeeze me in.

But don't tell Stephanie.

I don't want her there if it's bad news.

That would break her heart.

What's wrong? Why are we hugging?

We're just hugging goodbye.

I'm off for my morning jog.

In street clothes and high heels?

That's right.

See you in 26 miles.

Okay, take a seat.

I know last night was a little rough, but today is a new day.

What you need is a healthy breakfast, do some yoga, and turn that frown upside down.

Right now.

But only if you want to, because it's not in my nature to tell people what to do.

Thanks, Deej.

I needed a good laugh.

Morning, Joey.

Morning, Danny.

Morning, boys.

Jesse?

What are you doing here?

You weren't here when I tucked Joey into bed last night.

Becky says I snore, so she told me to come down here.

I don't snore. —Yes, you do.

You sound like a leaf blower with a deviated septum.

Whoa! Hey, I'm trying to sleep here.

And who was the numbskull who got up in the middle of the night and stepped on my head?

Sorry. I thought it was a cantaloupe.

How does that make it okay?

Where did you get that breakfast burger?

No idea. I'm a sleep eater.

Sleep eater?

Morning.

Sleeping with you guys is like snuggling in a pile of puppies.

Don't you have a house next door?

I could not find it in the fog.

Plus, I never miss a slumber party.

And now, it is time for the pillow talk.

So, now that you are without your talk show, and you are stuck with your horrible children,

and your wife told you to go get a job, what are you all to do?

Guys, are we suddenly a bunch of losers?

Well, we are four men in a bed, and it's almost noon.

Please, do not feel bad.

Without losers like you, there could be no winners like me.

So, enjoy your day in bed, knowing there is no point in getting up.

We're not losers.

We're doers. —That's right.

We do things. —That's right.

We do things, and we get them done.

All right. What are we gonna do?

I have no idea.

I know what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna grab Becky, and we're gonna go down to Wake Up, San Francisco, and we're gonna get our old jobs back.

That's a good idea, Danny. You wanna hear our idea?

Yeah. —Joey, tell him our idea.

Oh...

We're gonna come up with an idea.

Eventually. —That's right. Did you hear that?

Eventually, we're gonna come up with an idea.

And that eventually is gonna happen later.

Let's go. —Yeah. Let's go. I got an idea.

I'm on your tail.

Yep, ideas are percolating.

But first...

Put on some clothes. —That's right. Some shoes.

And I should probably shower and take out my mouth guard.

It's hard to believe they raised us.

All right.

What do you think? Too much?

Whoa.

I look like a cross between you and a raccoon.

Okay, ladies. Listen up.

Rocki, I want you to know that that magical, life-changing kiss meant absolutely nothing to me.

And number two, Ramona, you are a friend—snatcher.

Are you reading from a to-do list?

Yeah.

Gotta make sure I covered everything.

Kiss with Rocki no big deal, check.

Ramona equals friend-snatcher, check.

Oh, and number three.

Dramatic storm-out.

Have a nice life.

Or don't.

I don't care.

Check.

Hey, Deej. Could we talk about last night?

I felt really bad dropping that bombshell about moving to LA to be the foot specialist for the Lakers.

Steve, I understand.

This is a really big opportunity for you.

It's always open.

Lonzo Ball of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Steve Hale of the Bay Area Podiatry Association.

Whoo!

Oh, my God. Lonzo, this is my favorite girl, D.J.

D.J., this is my favorite feet, Lonzo Ball.

Wait. How did you find me anyway?

Drones.

That was you. Okay.

Hey, have a seat.

So, the Lakers sent me down here, you know, to beg you.

We want your strong, yet gentle hands on our athletes' feet.

Actually, here, let me just take off my shoe.

All this right here, this could all be yours.

Hey.

Step back, Lonzo Ball.

I have got sweet feet, too.

Wow.

Look, D.J., I mean, come on.

Your feet are so pretty and stuff, but...

Look at the size of those metatarsals.

Those babies belong in a foot museum.

Nah. Uh—uh.

Not until we get a commitment.

Okay. I know how to settle this.

Push—up contest, right now.

What are you, chicken? Come on, man.

I ain't chicken.

Ready? Go.

You know, this isn't easy with one shoe.

Fine, I'll make it even.

Look, Lonzo, I love your feet, but I love her more.

I mean, look at that upper body strength.

I'm so sorry. My answer is no.

Ha-ha-ha!

In your face, rookie.

I mean, good game, playa.

I feel like a dang fool.

I'm the number—two pick again.

Steve, are you sure?

I mean, am I being selfish? I don't want you to give up your dream.

Are you kidding? You're my dream girl.

You have been since the day we met.

Oh, man.

Aw...

Lonzo's crying on the lawn.

You lost, man. Put your shoe on and go home.

You, you bring me luck...

Steph-o, get ready to be cheered up.

I made you a chocolate peanut butter banana shake.

Aw.

My boy brought my milkshake to the yard.

And what goes better with your favorite shake than a box of kittens?

Aw!

Here's kitty number one.

Here's kitty number two.

Hello, little cuties.

Here's carbon copy of kitty number two.

Hi.

Here's mine.

I dare you to be upset while playing with these Kitties and drinking this milkshake.

You're right. It's impossible.

Even if it doesn't work out with Kimmy, there's still other ways you can be a mom.

Yeah, you're right.

Look how happy Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky are since they adopted Pamela.

Hey...

Give me back my shoes, you little monsters.

Give me back... Hey.

Those are very expensive and brand—new.

I'll trade you a kitten for a shoe.

See how fun that looks?

All right. One, two, two and three back in the box.

Here we go. —There we go. Look...

No matter what happens, you're my person.

Nothing's gonna change that.

You're my person, too.

Uh, Jimmy? —Yeah, sweetie.

All your kittens have escaped.

Oh, no! Those are rental Kitties.

Here, Kitty.

Ah...

Memories.

Hey, Max. How you doing?

I'm falling apart.

Rose's mom won't let her see me.

We're like Romeo and Juliet.

Why must I be a Fuller, and Rose a Harbenberger?

O cruel world.

Aw, have a seat, son. I got something for you.

Chocolate milk. That will cheer you up.

Here you go.

Give me another sh*t of the moo juice.

Another one. Keep them coming.

Easy there, big guy.

Chocolate milk is a gateway beverage.

Max, don't let life get you down.

Just yesterday, life punched me in the gut.

And you know what I did?

I said, "Life, what else you got?"

Mom said we had to use the other bathroom because you were crying in the shower.

That is not true at all.

I was crying in the bathtub.

But then this morning, Becky and I went down to the station, and we asked for our old jobs back.

And how does that help me with Rose?

It doesn't. I just needed to tell someone.

Well, thanks for the pep talk.

I feel so much better.

You do? —No.

I just want this conversation to be over.

Danny, the station called.

Already? What did they say?

Hey, guys. We got great news. —Great news.

We got great news, too.

What did the station say? —They want me back.

I knew it. I knew it.

They want me back. Danny Tanner is back on top.

No, Danny. They want me back.

Oh.

They want me to co-host a new women's talk show called 7he Gab.

Whoo-hoo!

My wife's working again. We're back on the gravy train.

Well, I'm good. I'm happy for you, Becky.

And I'll just follow my own advice and drink some chocolate milk, over here all by myself.

Great.

Guess what. We bought back the Smash Club.

Isn't that fantastic?

Jess, don't you think that this is something you and I should have discussed first?

Yes, I do.

I do think that. So, let's discuss it.

What do you think about Joey and I buying the Smash Club?

That we already bought. —That we already bought.

Well, I guess I think it's a great idea, because we all have jobs.

We all have jobs.

We all have jobs.

We all have jobs.

We all have jobs.

We all have jobs.

Oh-oh-oh-oh—oh...

Sorry, Danny.

Most of us have jobs.

Most of us have jobs.

What's with all the screaming?

Most of us have jobs. —Yeah.

Get this. Joey and I bought the Smash Club back.

Oh, congratulations. —That's amazing.

Hey, why don't we have the party there tonight?

Oh! Yeah, that would be great. I won't have to do the dishes.

Yeah. And then I won't have to hide in the bathroom until D.J.'s done with the dishes.

And let's everybody Wang Chung tonight by wearing their best outfits from the '80s.

That's great. An '80s costume party.

Just when I thought this day couldn't get any better.

Well, we do have a special mystery guest waiting for you in the living room.

The Beach Boys?


Even better.

Who's better than the Beach Boys?

I don't know.

—Hi, Danny. - Oh, my God.

The woman I almost married.

Vicki Larson.

This is better than the Beach Boys.

Well, looks like our work here is done.

I wonder who else we can track down.

Wonder what Urkel's up to.

Aw. —Aw.

It's so good to see you. You look great.

You look great, too.

Thank you. I guess it's unanimous. We both look great.

How did you find me?

Well, it wasn't that hard. You're still in the same old house.

Well, would you like to have a seat on the same old couch?

Absolutely.

We had some great times. You were so funny.

Do you still vacuum your fridge every day?

No, I'm not that neurotic anymore.

It's every other day.

So what are you up to now?

Well, I'm divorced and unemployed, and this morning I woke up in bed with Jesse and Joey and some guy named Fernando.

Wait. You're still living with Jesse and Joey?

No, it was just a slumber party with three or four or five guys, just trying to stay warm on a cold, foggy night.

Anyway, this evening, the girls are throwing a "Dad-iversary" ” party for us at the Smash Club, if you'd like to go.

You guys are still naming your parties?

And there's still a Smash Club?

Don't tell me Jesse and the Rippers are playing.

No, I doubt those guys are still alive.

FYI, it's ‘80s themed.

Just like your furniture.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dogs and babies, may I present the Smash Club.

Man, you tell this family to dress up, and they don't mess around.

Well, is the Smash Club still radical or what?

Well, Jess, at the risk of bursting your bubble, this is a laundromat.

Yes, I know that.

It is now, but Joey and I are gonna restore it to its former glory.

Well, wouldn't it have been easier to just buy a nightclub and rename it?

No, it wouldn't have been easier, because it's too late. We paid cash.

That's how we got an eight—hour escrow.

Who are those guys?

Hey, it's the Rippers.

What are you guys doing here?

It's Saturday night. We're doing our laundry.

Hey, Ramona. Look, I'm sorry I called you a friend—snatcher.

That's okay. I'm sorry I called you a big fat baby.

When did you call me a big fat baby? —Just now. To get even.

Rocki, I'm sorry for going off on you, too.

If you don't wanna be my girlfriend, then that's cool.

I'm just not really into labels, so let's just be friends.

Okay.

But can we be friends who make out once in a while?

Sure, why not?

In that case, let the friendship begin.

Oh!

Can't you guys at least wait until I'm not staring right at you?

Thank you.

Oh, man. Why are you dressed like Don Johnson?

Why are you dressed like Don Johnson?

There's only enough room in this place for one Don Johnson, and clearly, I am the only one that looks exactly like Don Johnson.

I think you look very handsome.

Thank you. And you...

Wow. You are a vision in orange.

You know, Steve, I've been thinking a lot about your job offer, and I want you to take it.

Wait. But, Deej, we're finally getting our big chance, you know, to be together.

Yeah, but I don't want you to miss out, which is why I called the Lakers, and told them you're taking the job.

Are you sure?

Absolutely. I support you 100%.

You're worth waiting for.

You're the greatest woman on earth.

I love you. —I love you, too.

Six months from now, you and me, it is on like Donkey Kong.

Uh, can you guys at least wait until I'm not looking right at you?

Max! —Rose!

I thought I'd never see you again. Did you sneak out?

No. My mom's waiting in the car.

She said I have one hour before her Xanax wears off and she regrets ever driving me here.

Who are you supposed to be?

Max C. Hammer.

Who are you? —Some lady named Madonna.

She wore a lot of crosses, so I'm guessing she was a religious leader.

Why won't it work?

It has the last Mr. Rooty Zero in the city.

Step aside, shortcake.

Oh!

Hey.

Happy days.

Well, the Rippers are waiting for their laundry to be done.

I got a guitar. Might as well do a song. Any requests?

Forever. Forever.

Free Bird.

I'll pick the song.

I'd like to dedicate this song to my girls.

Becky and Pamela, Steph, D.J., it's a song about what I like about you.

It's called What / Like About You.

Hey

What I like about you You hold me tight

Tell me I'm the only one Wanna come over tonight Yeah Keep on whispering in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear

"Cause it's true —What I like That's what I like about you —What I like

Keep on whispering in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear

"Cause it's true —That's what I like about you That's what I like about you Hey

Girls, come up. You wanna say something? Come on.

Well, 30 years ago today, Uncle Jesse and Joey moved in to help us out for a few weeks, and they ended up becoming our second dads.

Yeah.

I mean, we could never begin to thank you for what you've done for us, but just know that we love you guys very much.

You're about to see a whole lot more of us, because me and Becky and Pamela, we're moving back to San Francisco.

And I am also moving back to San Francisco.

Oh, my God. —Joey.

Hey.

With my four incredible children.

Boo!

Oh, come on. You know you're all thinking it.

Well, I'm not gonna live in LA all by myself, so I'm moving back here, too.

Right back in my old house.

You're moving back in with us?

I sure am.

I'll just move back into my old bedroom, and then, you can bunk with D.J., just like the good old days.

Yeah.

Anyway, I wrote a song for my three dads, but really, it applies to all of you.

It's about how you bring me luck.

And it's called You Bring Me Luck.

Yeah.

Thanks, Jess.

// never forget the way that I felt when I met you first Nothing was said but something was there in your smile

I said hello, you said hello Then we talked for a while This is so natural This is so magical You, you bring me luck My life has changed so much Just when I'd nearly given up You brought me luck You make your luck Some say you just get struck But holding your hand Makes me understand You, you bring me luck My life has changed so much Just when I'd nearly given up You brought me luck You show me love You bring me luck

So, Steph, I kind of did bring you luck.

You're pregnant?

We're pregnant.

We're gonna have a baby! I'm gonna be a mommy!

I'm gonna be a daddy.

Well, Mr. T., now that I'm carrying your grandchild,

we're officially family.

Kimmy, we always were.

Aw... The Tanner—F uller magic is back!
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