03x07 - We're Gonna Need a Bigger Vote

I'm Ralph Dineen, and for my civics project, I'm interviewing average American voters on Election Day.

Sir, I'm researching what issues concern the average American.

I'm not an American yet and if I was, my IQ makes me well above average.


This is for a grade.

Oh, right.

Well, if I were a citizen, my concern would be how slow the Patent and Trademark Office is.

I've been waiting for approval on several of my inventions for some time.

You see, I've created multiple, unique innovations that will ultimately shape the course of...

No one likes your inventions.

Cabe: Come here, Ralphy.

Get me on camera.

Cameraman, new subject.

And here we have someone who's been voting for almost a half a century.

Not relevant.

Now the issue that concerns me is technology.

For example, the other day, I was trying to get Happy's Wi-Fi thermostat to work.

A child can use it.


So, I called Toby to help me with it.

He had me shout 72 degrees into that thing over and over and it never kicked in, did it, Doc?



Thermostat isn't voice-activated.

I screamed into that crap pile for 20 minutes.


Not everything's improved by technology, Ralphy.

My top issue on Election Day: surveillance.

The bad guys watch our every move, but who watches the watchers?

You're what my teacher calls the crackpot vote.


(clears throat)

Check it out.

Titanium crib, hydraulic lifts...

...dozens of pinhole, fiber-optic cameras that line the frame.

They're pointing out, not at the baby. What, do you plan on watching daddy?

I want to make sure you don't drop it.

You're worried about me?

You just referred to our child as "it."

Hey, and speaking of the fetus-I-can't-wait-to-meet-us, when is your overdue prenatal checkup?

It's this afternoon and it's not overdue.

I'm at three weeks, within standard time frame.

Yeah, this seems personal.

Should I stop filming?

I'll tell you when to stop filming.

Eminent domain law.

That's what concerns me.

I am researching the subject now.

Our government has draconian seizure power.

What, no follow up?

I'm just shocked I got a real answer.

Last night, during a spirited bout of Fantasies and Frolics, a-a role-playing imagination game...

Shut it down.

My wizardry coven...

The Knights of West Altadenia, learned that the comic book store where we convene...

Merlin's Credenza?

The Warlock's Chest, thank you kindly.

Our beloved lair has been marked for destruction in order to make space for a big-box hardware store to be built.

Sweet. Cheaper tools.


The Warlock's Chest is a haven for the socially challenged.

Some people vote their pocketbook.

I vote my comic book.

And I will support any politician that will rein in eminent domain abuse.

Paige: Oh, I'm so sorry.

Lots of people voting before work.

Thanks for watching Ralph.

How'd the civics project go?

Ralph: Awful.

I got to go edit this crap pile.

Uh, where did he learn a word like that?

See you got your dress for the Veteran's Ball.

Uh, and Ralph's suit, too.

Oh, uh, thanks again for asking him to come.

Oh, I wouldn't think of going without him.

Actually, we might have a little more company.

Really? Who?

My... parents are in L.A. for a few days and they were wondering if they could come to the event as well.

Paige: Oh, to the, um, to the ball?

Tim: Yeah.

I mean, listen, if it's weird or something, then, Oh, it's not weird, it's not weird.

I mean... they're just in town...

No, I totally get it.

It'll be, it'll be fun.

Tim: Great.

Okay, I will let them know.

In the meantime, I should go help Ralph edit.

He is a demanding boss. (chuckles)

Ooh, wow.

Introducing our Ms. Dineen to Mom and Dad is quite the bold move by Timothy.

It's quite bold, indeed.

I am really not looking for commentary.

I didn't meet Megan's parents until after I married her.

Speaking of marriage, chew on these sociological stats.

You know, over half of those who have a formal meeting with their paramour's parents past the age of 29 wind up engaged.

And 82% of those folk take the plunge.


It's just a dance.

A dance down the aisle.

And since married people under 40 have children at a 66% clip, the question is not "are you ready to meet the parents?"

It's "are you ready for another bambino?"


Walter: Guys, Paige is bright.

She wouldn't allow something as trivial as a-a dance to determine the course of her life.

So, perhaps, we butt out?

Thank you, Walter.

Walter: You're welcome.

Besides, we don't even know if Paige and Tim have been intimate yet.

Oh, my God.

Man: Excuse me.

Is Cabe Gallo here?

Paige: Oh, great.

A case. Hopefully, the world's about to explode so we can end this conversation.

I'm Gallo.

You FBI?

Agent Backheim.

This is Agent Hart, Agent Govelli.

White House sent us on an extremely urgent matter.

What's going on?

Sorry, Mr. O'Brien, but you were recently flagged by U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services as a person of interest and as such you can't be involved in this case.


He's worked on dozens of government cases.

All before being suspected of citizenship fraud.


Backheim: We just found out about this on our way here.

Frankly, we would prefer to have Scorpion at full strength, but we don't have time to negotiate Mr. O'Brien's inclusion.

We need to move...


Sorry, Agents Backside, Fart and Go-smell-me.

Backheim, Hart, Govelli.

Toby: Scorpion's a team.

You don't break up The Beatles, so go pound sand.

The president personally asked for your team.

He expects cooperation.

This is from the big man himself.

You need to take this job if Scorpion's ever gonna get another government gig again.

Happy: Would be good to know what the gig is.

Not with Mr. O'Brien here, and I can't waste any more time on this issue.

We just learned about the situation in question 90 minutes ago and it's acute.

This is absurd.

Take the job.

I'll be fine.

Backheim: Good.

And to make sure you stay that way, Agent Hart will remain with you here to make sure that you're not tempted to jump on your computer or contact your team in any way.

But if he does, you'll shoot him?

No, we'll shoot the computer.

Your cell phone.

And the comm we're well aware your team is prone to use.

Backheim: You can follow us to the location.

It's not far.

We'll fill you in when we get there.

Um, Ralph's school is closed due to the election, so can you watch him?

Oh, of course, yeah.

Good luck.

It's so weird you can't come with.

Government is shady.

I told you we need to watch the watchers.

(tires screech)

All right, let me guess.

You want us to help unpack these containers?

Your task involves a different kind of storage.

Have you ever heard of Penter Counting Systems out of Silicon Beach?


Like the voting machine I used this morning?


Penter supplies all U.S. electronic voting machines.

Tabulations are stored on massive servers that are currently running at 35% slower than they're capable.

We can't have anything go wrong with the election tallies, so we need you to fix it.

I read in the paper that this is the first election year where all votes, nationwide, will be calculated on one system.

In the paper?

When? On the way to the soda fountain to get an egg cream?

Yes. The Election Commission decided to streamline the process.

Well, that's the problem.

There's a huge amount of data hitting the system today.

It's overheating, that's why it's slowing down.

Well, that is a problem because by this afternoon, as is customary, Eastern Kentucky polls are gonna start reporting their results.

The rest of the states will follow.

Any additional data will slow the server even more, maybe crash it.

Which we can't have since the server contains the winner of the election.

What I want to know is why we're On the Waterfront.

Did you see that picture, Cabe?

Or have you not warmed up to talkies?

Cabe, the silent, government man would like us to enter the dark container at the back of the docks.

After you.

Server's down there.

Oh, cool.

An underwater data farm.

The ocean water's cooling properties regulate the equipment's temperature.

And the motion of water captures the hydrokinetic energy as a backup power source.

And since Penter's just up the coast on Silicon Beach, there's no latency issue, as data doesn't have to travel far to get to the server.

Most importantly, the data's hidden just ten yards off the coast, 50 feet underwater.

Now if you'll follow me, we need to find out why a server in freezing water is still overheating.

And do it fast.

The World Court will be ruling next week on who controls lucrative stretches of new Arctic shipping lanes.

It's a priority for the president and something he can only see through if he wins today's hotly contested election.

The president will be in his home city of Los Angeles through the afternoon.

And in other news, local voting precincts are reporting long lines as the public shows up in record numbers to cast their votes for this 2016...

Let me borrow your tablet.

I got to know what they're working on.

...he and the First Lady will have cast their votes while in Los Angeles today.

However, his public polling place is not disclosed.

Hopefully, he won't be in long lines like everyone else across the...


You're busted.

Lucky I didn't shoot it.


You got in trouble.

50 digit code.

It'll take a moment.

I'm dying to sing "Under The Sea" right now, but I'm not, so there.


We're in.

Paige: Wow, this is amazing.


Ow, your server's got a fever.

(computer beeping)

What's wrong?

This server isn't overheating from the data coming in.

It's from the data going out.

There is a bug on this server that is effectively removing the software that counts and collates every single vote that has been cast.

Oh, crap.

Someone is sucking the info from this server.

And once whoever planted the bug gets it, they can change it however they want and then put it back in.

Are you saying someone's trying to manipulate the election?

No, they're not "trying."

They're doing it as we speak.

♪ Scorpion 3x07 ♪
We're Gonna Need a Bigger Vote

Sly, on a scale of Milli Vanilli to Madoff: how certain this is fraud?

Enron certain.

Paige: Oh, boy.

That's a lot of fraud.

The right to vote is sacrosanct to the American psyche.

If vote tallies are corrupted, the damage to our national trust level will be...

Not good.

If people believe that their vote might be compromised, they'll stop going to the polls.

We can't have that. A strong nation is an engaged one.

We got to shut this down, quietly.

I think I found a way to start.

I tracked the IP address from where the malware was initiated.

It's at the headquarters of the ANC-- the American News Channel.

Maybe whoever did it is still there.

Let's go!

What are you doing?

Ralph: Solving Ulam's spiral.

The prime numbers form diagonal lines.

No one knows why.

I think it denotes an inherent order to the universe.

Speaking of order...

I need to know more about what my team is doing.

I think I know how we can find out.

But, I will need a partner.

Are you game?

I'm your man.


First, we'll need some supplies for your science project.

I don't have a science project due.

Well, you do now.

Cabe: We appreciate you allowing access on such short notice, Ms. Hampton.

When Homeland and the FBI call, we try to accommodate.

You really think a hack was perpetrated on our premises?

We don't think, we know.

It-it doesn't mean it was an employee.

Could have been a visitor, an outside contractor, someone who snuck in...

(phone ringing)

Go for Backheim.

Yeah, I have to take this.

I'll be back.

Ms. Hampton, we're just looking for digital bread crumbs.

We narrowed the IP address to the eighth floor, now we're just trying to find the specific Internet Wi-Fi node used.

Could give clues to who did this.


Shouldn't take too long.

I am connected to the ANC Wi-Fi now, and I am scanning every inch of the floor.

Don't worry, we'll find it.

Try not to act too excited.

Sylvester won't be happy.

That statue is limited edition.

Sylvester never got benched by the president.

It sucks.

Now, we have to carefully solder the diodes if we're going to perfectly match the frequency of the comms.

Quiet, here he comes.

What's all this?

You took his tablet, so he can't edit his civics project.

So, we turned to science, unless a... homemade radio is a threat.

He bought it.

This is fun.

We're just getting started.

Found it! The node that the voting software was downloaded from is along the west wall of your floor.

I don't see anything here, but set Dec and talking heads.


It appears it was downloaded by the node at 7:13 this morning.

That means zilch if we don't know who's downloading it.

Well, we're in a room full of cameras that are almost always recording.

We find footage of this area at 7:13, we got our perp.

Cabe: Pardon me.

Ms. Hampton?

We're gonna need to see some film from earlier today.

Excuse me?

It could help with our investigation.

I'm sure it could.

But we're a news organization that takes The First Amendment quite seriously.

We don't hand over notes, sources or even B-roll to anyone without a subpoena.

Corporate policy, handed down from the 12th floor suits.

You don't understand.

We have a situation...

That you can't win without a court order.

So, if you please, the president just did our morning show and I'll be working long after the Electoral College has gone to bed.

So there's no time to be polite or political.

I can't help you.

That's it?

We're gonna let some snob with expensive shoes tell us we're done?

The presidency's on the line.

Happy: Maybe we should find Backheim, see if he's got a judge who can hook us up with a subpoena.

Hold on. Paige's shoe comment got me thinking.

Look at Miss Thing's footwear.

Band-Aid on the Achilles' heel means shoes aren't broken in.

Late 20s means about six years on the work force.

It's prime time for a promotion.

Those are new shoes for a new position at ANC. Ooh-- you add four anxiety markers, we got a doe-eyed greenhorn that's ripe for manipulation.

Sly, hack ANC's personnel records.

I want that young lady's name and number.

Cabe, swipe the fork from that cameraman's take-out.

Paige: What's your plan?

Well, we need to see film.

The only way they open up their archives is if they're desperate to put something on air other than the ranting nutbar that's ruining their show.

Let me guess.

You're the nutbar?

(Cabe exhales)

Okay, we're filming in five!

Let's get the guests up here!

(phone ringing)


Hi. Uh, this is Sue Dwyer, I work for Mr. Titus Kincaid.

I-I hate to do this, but, um, he's gonna miss filming today.

What? He's here.

He's on in minutes!

Yeah, well, he had to leave family emergency, but good news is I have... Dr. Tobias Curtis from Harvard available.

(stammering): Who?

He's a... world famous behaviorist.


They never heard of me?

(whispers): Stop it!

Sylvester: Great job, Paige.

I've picked up her phone signal and spoofed it.

So all calls will come to me now.

Speaking of which...

(phone ringing)

(in British accent): Hello?


Hello, this is Titus Kincaid.

I'm supposed to be on now, but my door is stuck.

Oh, I am terribly sorry about that.

A maintenance crew will be sent to you shortly.

Paige: Dr. Curtis is great.

And, uh, he lives a few blocks away, so I sent him over.

You're really killing me, here.

Toby: Hey!

Dr. Tobias Curtis, here to dazzle your television audience.

Okay. Control Room.

What now?

We wait for the doc to do his thing.

(phone chimes)

Parents just landed?

Do you mind?

Kind of fast for the waitress to be meeting ma and pa, don't you think?

Happy, I'm gonna kill you.

(theme music playing)

We're on in three, two...

Welcome to The Conversation Desk.

I'm Terry Hines.

On Election Day, we have with us, political strategist Monty Husk, columnist Grace Gibson and former Harvard professor, Dr. Tobias Curtis.

Our first topic: how will swing state voters react to last...

(blows raspberry)


See? This is the problem.

Media just shovels sound bite after sound bite at us, while no one wants to talk about the real game that's being played!

Terry Hines: Okay, what game is that?

The two party system!

I haven't seen a system this burnt-out since my digestive system on taco night!

I am calling for a return to European Parliamentary procedure.

40 parties, no consensus, just warring factions forced to work together to create ruling sects!

What, like Italy?


He is really pissing this host off.

He's got a gift.

They had an adult film star in Parliament.

Yeah, that's 'cause my paisans know how to party!

And how to say to their reps, "You do a good job or we'll replace you with anyone!"

Monty knows what I'm talking about.

Shut up, Monty.

Okay, he's been obnoxious enough.

Let's do it.

(door opens)


(clears throat)


Hey. Whoa, whoa, who are you guys?

You can't go into archives.

I'm the new head of Standards and Practices at this network-- I will go anywhere I damn well please.

Hampton didn't tell you about me?

Yeah, well, the suits on the 12th floor are freaking out about this Curtis lunatic.

They want us to pull tape in case we need to cut bait and fill the airtime.

Unless you want to tell the 12th floor that you told me no?

No, no, take what you need.


Okay, we're ready.

I'm gonna put the earpiece in.

I can hear them, but they can't hear me.

So... searching for our comm's frequency.

Ooh, got it.

Happy's talking about time codes on film and...


Toby's yelling about presidential pardons?

Maybe it has to do with that?

...the king gets to undo it all with a wave of his hand.

Utter nonsense!

Oh, boy.

Isn't that your friend?


I'm gonna find out what's going on.

Uh, please. Things have clearly gone haywire for my team because I'm not there.

You have to let me leave.

Stay there and sit down.

Come on.


All right.

Toby: Ah, let me just stop you right there, Terry.

(Toby speaking indistinctly)

We got to get out of here.

Ralph, pass me that milkshake.

(Toby continues shouting)

If you find out what's going on, it's my right to know--




Are you kidding me?


(inhales sharply)

Ralph, is he taking it off?



Found it! 7:13 a.m.

They were running camera tests right before their morning show.

Tim: Well, that's a problem.

Blow up that image.

Happy: That woman's working a tablet by the node.

She must be activating the bug software that's messing with the Penter server!

Penter server? Something's messing with the election.

Tim: Well, things just got a lot more complicated, because that woman is Sophia Vasquez...

It's the president's chief of staff.

All right, Happy, you're certain you stopped the footage at exactly 7:13?

I know what seven, one and three look like.

Okay, if the president's chief of staff downloaded that bug, and the president sent the FBI to get us to fix the server...

How do we know Backside, Fart and Go-Smell-Me aren't in on this?

We don't.

One of 'em, or all of 'em, can be involved.

Or they could just think that their job was to get us here to fix the server.

A server the chief of staff couldn't have breaking down when she's trying to doctor the ballot box.

She didn't anticipate us stumbling onto her plan.

And if any of these Feds are actually involved, they would let us snoop around until we get too close.

And if we do, we wind up where the Feds left Jimmy Hoffa.

And Ralph's with one of them now.

(whispers): We have a situation.

Where's your microphone?

Happy: We have to get to the chief of staff's tablet.

That's the origin of the bug.

We get that, we can stop it.

All right, Sly, we're on our way to get you.

Just stay cool and don't let Govelli know that we're on to 'em.

I've been updating Washington.

Were you able to find any film?


But, uh, the station manager said they would give you the film with no warrant.

They're up in the Control Room.

They'll only talk to the FBI.

Okay. Wait here.


Let's go.

So, Agent Govelli, What is your first name?

It can't be "agent."

Okay, how about I call you "Al"?

You know that song, "You Can Call Me Al"?

Agent Backheim (over phone): Agent Govelli, be advised that Scorpion is no longer on the eighth floor.

Advise if you see them.

Oh, I don't know where they are.


Backheim: Govelli?

They're right behind you.


(tires screech)

Hart, be advised Scorpion has assaulted an agent and stolen his vehicle.

They are on the run.

I repeat, they are on the run.

Walter: Funny, Ralph.

(Ralph chuckles)

Very funny.

Walter: Amusing.

Hey, O'Brien, get out here.

Your team's up to something.

Walter: I can't.

Doing a science experiment.

Ralph: Sorry, Agent Fart, we're busy.

Ralph: Sorry for what's about to happen.

Ralph, grab his sport coat.

I'll grab the tablet.

(tires screeching)

His keys, your cell, your comms.

(chuckles) We're back in the game, Ralph.

Guys, we made it out.

Ralph, are you okay?

Oh, he's fine.

We're having fun.

Now, we've been listening over your comms, and we're up to speed-- you're right.

You need to get the chief of staff's tablet.

According to the president's public schedule, there's a 20-minute window where we can cross with him at Westchester.

We'll never make it in time.

Ralph and I will.


Oh, your mom's upset.

We'll be okay, Mom.

Toby: Hopefully.

You're going to LAX.

You're gonna have to get the tablet off of Air Force One.

Cabe: If you don't protect the President, report to the president, or feed the president, you don't get on that plane.

What to you mean, "feed the president"?

When POTUS travels, they pre-clear any restaurant or food service he requests-- why?

Call Homeland, tell them you have a security issue you want to check out with whoever's providing the food at Air Force One today.

And then get me the name of the caterer.

On it.

We'll go to the server to hardwire a firewall, so no one can restart the bug once you shut it off.

How do plan on getting near Air Force One, Wally?

Walter: Easy.

We just need to stop at a Kinkos and a convenience store.

Yeah, this looks pretty good.

We'll get right onto the tarmac.


Of course.

It's Bring Your Son to Work Day.

You know what to do, right?

And be careful.

Good luck.

Excuse me.

Agent Hart, FBI.

I'm gonna be making your delivery to Air Force One today.

I don't get it.

I've already been pre-screened by Secret Service.

I'm sure you're disappointed.

Everyone likes to see the plane.

But added security, what with it being Election Day and all, only level-five clearance allowed on the tarmac.

I'll return your truck within the hour.


Thank you.

We've got pies back here.

Now what? Happy can't pick this 50-digit code monster like the other locks.

I was watching Backheim when he entered it.

I have it memorized.

Let me do my thing.

Hey, um, I'm sorry about earlier.

These guys seep into ever corner of my personal life like black mold.

Don't worry about it.

Look, I get it.

I grew up with four sisters.

Every girl I ever dated was subjected to an inquisition.

So you're saying Scorpion is acting like a teenage girl?



I think they care about you.

Look, let's just enjoy ourselves tonight.

It's only a dance.


But statistically...

(keypad trills)

I'm in.

Sometimes I hate this job.

(door creaks open)

How long will it take the soda to eat through this Fruity Roll?

Well, it's essentially made up of pectin, a water-soluble polysaccharide that the carbonation will get through quickly, say around three minutes.

Okay, so once you're done with that, take my photo off Hart's badge and then put it on the caterer's ID.

It's on the console.

Copy that.

Hey, Walt.


Today's been great.

It hasn't been half bad, has it?

Hey, how are you?

Best food in the southland.


I can't believe I'm this close to Air Force One.

Hold up.

How you doing?

Got the best food in the southland for the commander in chief.

(indistinct chatter)


(loud bang)

(alarmed chatter)

Breach on Angel!

Evacuate Angel!

(all clamoring)


Found it.

Chief of staff's tablet.

Finishing up the firewalls now to prevent another bug download.

But it's meaningless if you don't stop the tablet from running that program, Walt.

I'm into the software and I'm shutting it down.

Hurry up, son.

It's only a matter of time before they find you.

Guys, there's something weird about the votes on this server.

Yeah? They've been screwed with.

But not how we anticipated.

This says that 75% of the votes have been tallied, but only 8.1 million votes have been recorded.

Based on historical voter turnout, 82 million votes should have come in by now.

Which means 90% of the votes are missing.

It's an under-vote.

Why would the chief of staff want to erase votes?

Walter: She doesn't.

No, I know who's behind this.

It's not the White House.

Man (cocking gun): Freeze! Hands up, now!

I know this looks bad.

Or really bad.

Mr. O'Brien, you are under arrest.

Listen to me, I know how the election is being manipulated.

Yeah, by you and your friends.

You somehow remotely slowed the server to get us to give you access to it.

Then you messed with the votes.

No. No, no!

The bug was downloaded remotely by Chinese hackers.

I saw Beijing coding signatures buried deep within the virus.

Now, the real question is why are the Chinese trying to create an under-vote without swaying the election either way?

Vasquez: I have an idea why.

Chief of Staff Vasquez.

The World Court is about to make a decision about a new arctic shipping route.

Due to rising temperatures, ice-breaking vessels will soon be able to traverse directly over the north pole.

The route of the north pole is 20% shorter than the standard northern sea route.

The economic invocations are immense.

And China knows the court will never give control of those routes to a country with no clear leader.

So if in a few hours, only 10% of the public's vote are actually in the ballot box, there's gonna be finger pointing, conspiracy theories, absolute chaos.

We'll be without a president.

It's Sun Tzu 101:

"All warfare is deception.

In the middle of chaos there is opportunity."

So just delete the virus from my tablet and return the votes.

The Chinese just ghosted it onto your tablet to implicate your administration.

It's actually being run from one of their computers.

Well, last I checked, China's pretty far away.

Now, how do we stop this before the public realizes their votes have been vaporized?

Walter: Based on latency and their real-time control... they're here in L.A.

I can track them down digitally.

I'll need help from my partner.

He's hiding in the catering truck.

Can you believe the stones on these guys?

Pulling the hack from the consulate we gave 'em.

Yeah, they're smart.

It's technically Chinese soil.

Limits their exposure.

If we want to stop the bug from running, it'll take too long to hack it.

I need to get my hands on the exact device running it.

Cabe, adjust your phone.

I need a clear visual.

Quiet, here they come.

Gentlemen, welcome to our consulate.

I'm pleased the president would like to resume talks regarding the Arctic Canal, but surprised he wants to do it on Election Day.

POTUS never stops working.

Perhaps a nice news story to promote while people are still going to the polls.

Every vote counts.

Backheim: POTUS motorcade is 15 minutes out.

Best begin our advance-team security sweep.

Of course.

Follow me.

12 minutes till polls close in Eastern Kentucky and the results start coming in.

More like lack of results.

Guys, shake your hanging chads and move it.

Walter, once you stop the bug from running, I will verify that the votes are coming back into this server.


My own security is stationed in the front and the back of the home.

I assure you it is a safe facility for your president.

And this is the room where we will actually be meeting.


Ah, right there!

The ambassador leaned to the right when he passed that door, and he put his hand on Walt's back, like he was trying to guide you away from it.

Toby: You got to get in that room!

Is everything satisfactory?

So far, yes, but I would like to inspect the East Wing.

Agents Hart, Govelli, Backheim, you're with me.

You two stay here.

Secure the entrance.

Yes, sir.

This way.


(whispering): That tea is warm.

Whoever was just here could be back any minute.

This is the laptop.

Just found the bug software.

Just have to...

(toilet flushes nearby)

Oh, poop.

Well, obviously.

He's tucking his shirt in.

(speaking in Chinese)



Happy: Three minutes until polls close in Eastern Kentucky.

Sylvester: Walter, you need to a find a place to finish shutting down the software.




♪ ♪

(indistinct shouting)

Toby: Okay.

It's time for you to embrace technology.

Ralph: You just got to connect to the van's Wi-Fi.

We'll take it from there.

This is a foreign language to me.

It's just typing in a password.

Cabe: No...

It's literally foreign.

It's in Chinese.

All right, Gallo, I'm pulling up a Chinese/English keyboard overlay and we will walk you through this.

Give me the damn password!

It's "Geniusbobenius."

I can't even spell that in English!

It's 14 keys, like a crossword.

Four down, six across. That's G.

Three down, four across.

That's E.

That's a good call with the crossword analogy.

The elderly love their puzzles.

(shouting outside continues)

One minute until the Kentucky results come in.

Happy: Okay, I'm in.

Good job, Cabe, we'll take it from here.

Sylvester: The server is speeding up!

The voting data's being sent back to the Penter server.

It's all the missing votes.

(shouting, pounding on the door)

(shouting in Chinese)

Guys, they're at the door!

Oh, you can't let them get the laptop.

It'll take another 20 seconds for all votes to get back to the server!


(shouts, grunts)


Toby: Cabe, I'll meet you at the fence!

Still downloading!

(dog barking in distance)

(shouting in Chinese)



(speaking in Chinese)

Download complete!

We got the votes!

Yeah, but they got Cabe.

And Walt and Tim and Fart and Backside.

Hands up!

Drop the laptop.

Turn around slowly.

Toby: It's too late!

This metal box is on U.S. soil, and it's overflowing with evidence incriminating you.

So, let our pals go, I toss this puppy over, and we all go back to hacking and spying on each other forever.

Or I could take this to the World Court.

If history's any indication, your country will throw you under the bus in a heartbeat to save face.

How are the accommodations in Chinese prison-- nice?

Ambassador: Or...

I have my guards shoot all of you, I take the laptop, and say you tried to attack the consulate.

Cabe: Only problem, I got something taping you in my pocket.

It's not taping, it's digital. How many times I got to tell you this?


Point is, everything you said is being recorded and sent to my Homeland account.

If I'm shot dead, they'll find this MP3.

MP3s are audio.

You're recording video...

I swear, Doc, my foot and your ass are going on a date real soon.

Just take the deal.

I'd love to stay, but I got to go vote.

♪ ♪


Yes, sir.

Appreciate that, sir.

I will pass that along, sir.

Well, the president wants me to extend his personal gratitude for Scorpion's efforts.

He said he's gonna send over a surprise.

What is it?

Is "surprise" a complicated word?

(door opens)

I'm looking for Sylvester, The Conquestor of the Enchanted Valley?

There's a situation concerning the Knights of West Altadenia.

Who are the hell are you?

Kaldor the Prestidigitator, nephew of Otto the Brave.

I'm in no mood, kid.

Glenn Applemen.

Sylvester: Kaldor!

Have the knights assembled?

This country is screwed.

No, but I just learned that Councilman Patel's flipping his vote.

He was our only chance at saving The Warlock's Chest!

(horns trill)

Oh, man.

That's my mom.

I got to go.

Sloppy Joe night.

Okay. Stay strong, brother.

We will prevail.

(door opens, closes)

I have an announcement.

You're still a virgin. We know.

Something else.

I am running for office.

You're what?

Today's case has me thinking.

The right to vote is our most precious freedom.

Whether the choices are incredible, ridiculous or in-between.

So I am running for the 16th District Alderman of West Altadenia in the local, upcoming election.

I'm hoping that I can be incredible, or at worst, in-between.

(clears throat)

But by Valkyrie's Shield, I-I will save the Warlock's Chest.

Thank you.

I hope I can count on your vote.

You got it, pal.

None of us vote in West Altadenia.

You sure about this tie?

Bow ties are superior in case of emergency.

Neckties carry the risk of getting caught on things.


You're nervous.

I'm not nervous.

I'm just anxious.

Is it because of the statistics?

Who-who told you that?

There's no secrets in this place.

You're telling me.


Do you like Tim?

Is he nice to you?

Yes and yes.

He's very sweet and kind.

I do like him, yes.

Good, because you do everything for me, so I want you to be happy.

And odds are if you go tonight, there's a better than not chance he'll become my stepdad.

And... if you're happy with him, so am I.

Ralph, we are very far away from that.

Stats, Mom.

We're not as far as you think.


All done.

And thank you for what you said.

I am not as anxious anymore.

Ooh la la.

(door opens)

(clears throat)

(chuckles softly)


You look beautiful.

Well, thank you.

I am excited to meet your parents, um...

But the Armstrong sisters seem tough...

They are for another day.



Ralph, you ready?

Be right there.


(mouse clicking)

Don't fill up on bread.

You should have taken my mom dancing when you had the chance.


We could've been partners forever.

(door opens)

Toby: Ms. Linehan, what a pleasant sur...

Can it.

(door opens)

Mr. O'Brien, I know that you and Ms. Quinn perpetrated a fraudulent marriage.

I was not fooled, not once.

And if it were up to me, you would be deported immediately and Ms. Quinn would face prosecution.

But tonight, I received a call from Washington, D.C.

And they have enacted a private bill, granting you citizenship.

Welcome to America.

Thank you.

That was the surprise?

Happy and I can get married!

Proud to call you an American, son.

Proud to be one.

Toby: Happy! You're back! Guess what?

Walt's a Yankee Doodle Dandy!

We can get hitched!

Really? That's great.

Come on, let's go grab some apple pie.

I'm buying.


Why are you taking this apart?

I'm not pregnant.

What happened at the doctor?

My blood test was a false positive caused by cadmium poisoning.

From working on those solar panels.

That would explain your morning sickness and late menstrual cycle.

It's okay to be upset.

I'm not.

It is okay to be upset, Happy.

You know, when I was, uh, in elementary school, I was jealous of the other kids.

Because their parents waited outside to take them home, and I walked to the orphanage by myself.

I was looking forward to waiting outside for somebody.


Hey, hey, hey!


Hey, come here, listen to me.

We love each other.

We're gonna have a family.

You're gonna wait outside a school and you're gonna build a crib and you're gonna share tools with whatever baby is lucky enough to have you as their mom.

It'll happen when the time is right.

It is gonna happen.

I just need to be alone right now.


First, I never got the answer that I was looking for the first time.

And I don't have a song, but I've carried this ring with me every day--


♪ ♪