01x05 - I Win

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "The Family"...

Bridey: The older brother's not totally sure Adam is Adam.

Why can't you just be happy he's back?

Because he's not back.

How does it work?

The code's your birthday... 0, 5, 2, 2.

I thought...

What? That I was doing something shady right under your nose? I'm smoother than that.

Claire: You've gone above and beyond for my family, but it's gonna stop now.

I'm sorry. I don't know...

You sleeping with my husband.

Do you think you're special, a one-of-a-kind snowflake?

John: You needed to get in that house.

And you got me in.

I thought he did it.

And you framed him for it.

You've been served with a restraining order.

You're not to come in contact with their son Adam.

They live across the street.

Then don't go past that tree.

♪
♪ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ♪
♪ Once I caught a fish alive ♪
♪ 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ♪
♪ Then I let him go again ♪
♪ Why did you let him go? ♪
♪ Because he bit my finger so ♪
♪ Which finger did he bite? ♪ Ohh.

♪ This little finger on the right ♪

Aah!

[Winces]

[Sniffles]

Aah!

How bad this time?

It's not... It's not bad.

Mrs. Asher: Oh.

Hank, let me see, hmm?

Oh.

Did he take your homework again, too?

Yeah.

Well, they're jealous.

Of me?

You're smarter than they are, and they know it.

But someday, they'll all be working for you.

How do... How do you know?

Well, it's the way of the world.

It's called justice, my sweet boy.

♪ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ♪
♪ Once I caught a fish alive ♪

[Chuckles]

♪ 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ♪
♪ Then I let him go again ♪

[Laughs]

Hank: ♪ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ♪

[Echoing] He was brought in last night.

We gave him something to sleep.

♪ 3, 4, 5 ♪

[Door opens]

Mr. Asher?

[Humming] Can you hear me?

[Humming continues]

Oh.

It's you.

It's me.

Yay.

Who did this to you?

You know who.

I'm afraid I don't.

Your friend.

What?

John Warren did this to me.

♪

Why am I looking at a baby's butt?

Paternity test.

They'll have the results in three days.

How did you get it?

The drugstore. They were on sale.

How did you get it?

I snuck John Warren's coffee mug into my purse, and I pulled the kid's Q-tip out of his trash.

That's...

Disgusting, right?

...illegal.

You say "potato," I say "investigative journalism."

Without a source, without someone in that family to back up your theory about the kid, it's hearsay.

It's tabloid. It's nothing.

Male reporter: The woman's a force. She's only been in the race a few weeks, but latest polls show she's within striking distance of Governor Lang.

Female reporter: She's criticized for her lack of experience, but supporters say if she can run a city and hold her family together... all while waging a campaign.

She's criticized for her lack of experience.

...what that family has gone through.

She's only been in the race a few weeks.

Latest polling numbers show she's within striking distance of Governor Lang.

The trauma.

...what that family has gone through.

She's criticized...

She's only been in the race...

I don't know how she's handling it at all.

Willa: Fireman's pancake breakfast at 10:00.

Good, more carbs. Are you sleeping?

Like a baby. I know it's a lot.

No, I-I'm fine.

Um, so, when is the photo op at County?

Uh, this morning.

And then Adam's teacher will be here at noon.

Oh, we're just gonna meet her and see if you like her.

There's math involved. He's not gonna like her.

One awesome thing about the bunker...

...no math.

[Both chuckle]

[Door opens]

[Sighs]

[Door closes] [Winces]

What happened to your hand?

Well, the Collins are still keeping that thing unleashed.

[Scoffs] It's a tiny dog, John.

John: It's a menace.

[Laughs] Buy some mace.

What, you're on their side?

We need their vote.

Did you get mail?

Who's it from, bud?

Adam?

Adam.

Who sent you that postcard?

Excuse me, sir?

This go out today?

9:00 and noon. Like clockwork.

♪

Adam: He called it the "good boy list."

What's that?

He said he would take me places.

If you were a good boy.

If I stopped trying to run.

So he made a list.

He bought me guidebooks from all the places.

Remember what else was on there?

Might be helpful.

Where's Detective Meyer?

She got pulled into something. She'll be right back.

In the meantime, how about you and me give the list a new name?

♪

What kind? What kind?

[Laughs]

All of 'em, baby.

Never take a preggo on a road trip.

[Laughs]

Where to next?

You will just have to wait and see.

♪ Holiday road ♪

[Telephone rings]

I just don't understand.

'Cause it's an extra step.

No, but it's not.

I was running late for work, okay?

[Ringing continues]

Someone gonna get that?

By the time you stack them up on the counter, you could just put them in the dishwasher, John.

It's two steps either way.

Are you gonna get that? No I.D.

[Answering machine beeps]

Oh, for God's sake.

Jen: Hi, this is Jen.

I'm the new team mom for Little League.

I'm just calling down the roster to remind you all that...

Oh, let's see here...

Adam. Adam should be on the field by 5:00.

Can't wait to meet you.

Don't forget your orange slices!

[Answering machine beeps]

I'll use the dishwasher next time.

You got to be kidding me.

He says you forced your way in, vandalized his house, and assaulted him with your baseball bat.

Well, that's insane.

We argued, but...

About what? Well, I saw him out on the lawn.

I told him to leave or I'd call the cops.

Can anyone verify that?

It was 4:00 a.m.

You argued at 4:00 a.m.?

What do you want me to say? Yeah.

He's in the hospital, John.

I wish I put him there.

How'd you hurt your hand?

[Scoffs]

You know I didn't do this.

This monster is sending mail to my home.

I know.

And you come over here accusing me...

What's going on?

You're gonna need to call a lawyer.

Gabe: You think Warren did it?

Nina: He's angry enough.

So you think he did it.

I didn't say that.

Anger makes smart people stupid.

Postcard's from Cape Canaveral, right?

Gabe: Forensics got nothing thanks to the immaculate U.S. mail system.

What if our guy's not stopping at one?

What if he's treating himself to the whole "good boy list" tour?

Like a giant "Screw you for escaping my dungeon"?

Anger makes smart people stupid.

Question is, where does he go next?

Watch out! Watch out!

We have a whole itinerary.

I can barely keep up.

[Chuckles] Enjoy every last minute.

Mm.

You stop that right now.

The boys, with the g*ns...

Boys are great.

You don't have to worry so much about them.

Time to hit the road, babe. We got miles to burn.

Almost finished.

I wanted a vacation.

He's on a schedule.

[Chuckles]

You need to stay here, okay?

Yeah.

You are being completely inappropriate.

We're in public. Do you understand me?

Mm-hmm.

This was supposed to be a treat today.

But I will take away that g*n.

Understand?

Okay. Thank you.

[Cellphone beeps]

What'd he say?

He is talking to another lawyer there.

But your prints are all over the bat.

John: Well, of course they are. It's mine.

How'd it get in his house?

I don't know.

Cory: Asher sat in jail 10 years for a crime he didn't commit.

That's on us.

You mean me.

Fine. You.

He's out five minutes, he gets his ass kicked in his own home?

What's your point?

We have no other suspects.

How do we not arrest the guy he says did it?

Why would he leave the bat there?

He panicked. He went further than he meant to.

That's why he's denying it.

What about the alarm system? There's cameras everywhere.

The security company said it was off.

♪

[Willa scoffs]

Go out last night, too, champ?

No.

Someone turned the alarm off.

Well, it wasn't me.

Not doing something and being too drunk to remember it aren't the same thing.

I'm not drinking.

[Keys clatter]

♪

What do you want me to do?

[Sighs]

What do you want to do here, Meyer?

Nina: You're being arrested for the aggravated as*ault of Hank Asher.

[Scanner beeps]

♪

[Scanner beeps]

[Camera shutters clicking, indistinct shouting]

Son of a bitch.

Someone must have tipped them off.

What does this mean for your wife's campaign?

[Shouting continues]

Excuse me, folks.

We won't be answering any questions at this time.

Excuse me.

[Shouting continues]

♪

Ah. I'd like to order that cake.

Okay.

Um, is this a special occasion?

Very.

Okay. I'm just gonna grab a box.

I'll eat it here.

Okay.

Um, do you want a message on it?

Enjoy.

♪

[Sighs]

Dad?

What are you doing?

[John sighs]

Mom's looking for you.

Adam's team won.

What?

Some of those kids, man, they grew like... three inches over the summer.

Adam's little friend, what's his name?

Tommy Mathis.

Yeah.

He... He didn't give up a single run.

[Sighs] Okay, let's go home.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Oh, let me just take a minute, here.

♪

Bridey: Black, two sugars. That's how you take it, right?

I'm not commenting on the charges.

I'm not here as press.

Oh, we're friends now?

We're gonna tell secrets and braid each other's hair?

Okay, I am here as press.

Would-be governor's husband arrested for as*ault?

That's not going away. You need an ally on the inside.

Someone you can trust for a good spin.

And that's you?

I give good spin.

Prove it.

Man: John Warren att*cked a man with a baseball bat.

I mean, come on. That is violent and awful.

Woman: But a convicted offender right across the street.

Now, wouldn't you do the same to protect your kids?

Did he catch him in the act?

Did that provoke...

Colin, do me a favor.

I'm not going to another lesbian club with you.

I mean, he... he hit a defenseless... defenseless man with a baseball bat.

Re-tweet anything #papabear and use the paper's twitter handle.

Uh-huh.

...right across the street from your kids.

But where do you draw the line? This is the mayor's husband.

Claire: I'm scared to check the mail.

He's out there...

[Door opens]

...watching him.

[Door closes]

We need to make some kind of statement about the arrest.

I'm getting slammed.

I'm going to bed.

[Sighs]

I think you should take a plea.

Excuse me?

It's aggravated as*ault.

You plead guilty, you get off with a fine and community service, it goes away.

Are you seriously suggesting...

Trial would go on for months.

It would k*ll us. Mom would be done.

Yeah, there it is... the campaign.

Okay.

So, what about Adam?

He's got to deal with this on top of his new creepy pen pal?

He's not taking a plea.

It could be the race.

Then it's the race.

[Footsteps approaching]

So, where'd you go?

When you turned the alarm off.

H-H-How did you know?

It wasn't me.

I wanted to know I could leave.

Sometimes... it feels like I can't.

[Sighs]

D-Danny?

Yeah?

I got another one.

Nina: We believe our suspect is heading straight up the Eastern seaboard.

I want agents in each of these locations.

Based on the postmarks, our friend started his little adventure a few days ago in Cape Canaveral...

Passed through Kitty Hawk Sunday or Monday.

Given all this, we suspect he's headed to Lady Liberty.

I don't know about you all, but I'm in a New York state of mind.

Put out APBs wide along 95.

I want that bastard's face everywhere.

♪

[Siren chirps]

Were you speeding?

No.

What do they want?

I don't know.

♪

I didn't know who else to call.

You did the right thing.

My mom's gonna freak out.

[Police radio chatter]

Hey, you have any homework?

Yeah.

Go home.

But...

Not like I can't handle a little public intoxication.

It's what I do.

Go ahead.

[Police radio chatter]

Hey, Will?

He's just having a hard time.

Where is he?

Gabe: Patience, Meyer.

What'd the therapist say, by the way?

To do yoga and not sh**t people.

Might want to try bee pollen, too.

You have agents on every entrance?

Yep. And around the perimeter.

It's the only ferry to the island.

He has to come through here.

Where is he?

Doug: It's new.

That's why the registration isn't in the system.

Copy that.

And I haven't gotten the plates yet...

'Cause the van is new.

Right.

Again, happy to pay the fine.

Well, we've been having some theft at the dealerships, so...

I didn't steal a minivan.

DMV up in Maine will straighten that all out.

♪

Danny: You said you wanted more freedom.

I don't know how to drive.

[Chuckles] Figure it out.

[Keys jingle]

[Red Eyes' "The w*r on dr*gs" plays]

[Adam laughs]

[Tires screech]

Chill out on the wheel. It's not going anywhere.

[Sighs] Who taught you?

♪ Come and see ♪

To drive?

That was mom.

♪ Where I witness everything ♪

Did she get scared?

[Chuckling] Yeah.

♪ On my knees ♪

She tried to act all cool, but then she kept stomping on the floor like there was some kind of brake there.

♪ b*at it down to get to my soul ♪

Bet you want to do that right now.

Uh, little bit, yeah.

♪ Against my will ♪
♪ Anyone could tell us you're coming ♪

I always wanted to drive this car.

Don't get too used to it.

♪ Baby, don't mind ♪

Hey. Hey.

Hmm?

Do you, uh... you still have that extra set of keys?

Mm-hmm.

Let's... Let's go home.

Cut the trip short?

Yeah, yeah. I want to sleep in my own bed tonight.

But aren't we supposed to...

No, no, no.

Let's go now.

Come on. Let's go.

Folks, hold up right there.

♪

[Engine revs]

Hey, ease up on the gas.

♪

Hey.

Hey, you got to look at the road.

Seriously, slow d...

Wh...

Adam, what are you... Adam, slow down!

Adam, hit the brake!

♪

Open your eyes! Come on, man!

[Horns blaring]

Stop! What are you doing?! Stop!

Come on! Slow down! Hit the brake!

Hit the brake!

Adam: Sorry.

Hit the brake!

[Tires screech]

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Fax came through.

[Sighs]

You might want to hold on to that in case you get pulled over again, all right?

[Laughs] I appreciate that, sir.

Yeah. Congratulations.

[Chuckles]

[Sighs]

[Horn blares]

What the hell were you doing?! What is wrong with you?!

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Do you want to die?

[Breathing heavily]

Not anymore.

Clements call in yet?

Not yet.

No?

[Sighs]

We've got agents all over the next place we think he'll go.

It's a pretty wide net. He's just got to walk into it.

Thank you.

Was his nose broken?

In three places.

What a shame.

[Scoffs]

It's hard for me to feel sorry for a man I spent so much time wishing were dead.

Fair enough.

[Sighs]

He didn't do it.

That may be, but he has no alibi.

Because he was home sleeping.

With you?

On the sofa.

I know you have a lot on your plate right now, and you don't need...

This is John we're talking about.

My hands are tied.

We're just gonna have to let it play out.

The man takes a spider outside.

How can he be capable...

All due respect...

...I'm not sure you know what he's capable of.

Oh, but you do?

You don't get to do this.

What?

You don't get to sit on the visitor's side.

Not now.

You've been in our bed, lying between us, for 10 years.

Like it or not, you're with us.

We are a party of six, honey.

We live together. We sleep together.

So, you get on board, and you do what's right.

[Door opens, closes]

♪

John?!

[Door opens]

♪

[Groans]

Hey, I'm gonna go.

Thanks for... Oh, sorry.

It's okay.

[Scoffs]

Oh...

When I can't sleep, I think.

[Inhales deeply]

She took it all down.

His photos?

Well, ev... everything.

[Sighs]

Used to measure his height on the wall.

She erased the pencil marks.

People grieve differently.

It's not normal.

Neither is him being gone.

Thank you.

Bye.

Bye.

[Sighing]

[Knock on door]

♪

[Both moaning]

Hi.

Hi.

No, don't.

[Inhales deeply]

Thank you.

I didn't start #papabear.

No...

You never doubted me.

[Cries]

Wagon hit a bump?

[Water runs]

He's really... messed up.

Yeah?

[Sighs]

Yeah.

[Insects chirping]

[Foghorn blows]

He didn't show.

Maybe you missed him.

No, we combed through the surveillance footage on the dock.

Maybe tomorrow.

I'll leave agents here and at all the sites on the list for a week.

He can't be that smart.

He's not some master criminal. He's just one guy.

One very sick, messed-up guy.

You have anything good for me?

Oh, got you a key chain.

Only they didn't have "Nina," so I had to go with "Christina."

[Laughs] I'm hanging up on you.

[Cellphone beeps]

[Car alarm chirps]

[Gate creaks]

The police already looked at all that.

[Sighs]

Is this the table he smashed?

He broke the vase, my lamp.

There was glass everywhere.

That supposed to be you and your mom?

It reminds me of her.

Must mean a lot to you.

Why are you here?

Wanted to see if you were okay.

You're concerned about me?

Yes. You weren't 10 years ago.

You weren't the victim 10 years ago.

We'll agree to disagree.

I took another look at the photos of your injuries.

You must be in a lot of pain.

I heal.

Especially your hands.

They were so swollen.

See? This right here?

Your skin is blistering.

It's like you played a doubleheader.

I'd like you to go now.

You're a lucky man, Hank.

Took a baseball bat to that entire table...

And it didn't break.

It's sturdier than it seems.

I'm sorry.

For all of it.

[Gasps]

♪

[Thud]

♪

[Groans]

[Insects chirping]

[Indistinct shouting] ...near my family. You are trespassing.

Now get off my property, or I'll get the cops.

Just go.

[Gate creaks]

♪

[Thud]

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

_

Willa: Good morning.

You're up early.

You, too.

I, uh... I slept at a hotel.

Oh.

Sorry you had to, uh...

It's okay.

I know things are tough.

[Sighs]

They're gonna get better.

Okay.

Okay.

[Chuckles]

[Cellphone vibrates]

[Cellphone beeps]

[Footsteps approach]

Claire: Morning.

[Sighs]

Have you seen daddy's phone? He can't find it up there.

Oh, um...

Um...

Hmm.

Oh! Yeah.

Ah. Here it is.

Man: Mayor Warren!

Woman: Mayor Warren!

Mayor Warren!

Man #2: Mayor Warren!

Mayor Warren!

Mayor Warren!

[Indistinct shouting]

Mayor Warren, is it true Asher is dropping the as*ault charge?

We just heard this morning, and I am so grateful to the police for sorting it all out.

Man: Mayor Warren! Mayor Warren! Mayor Warren! Mayor Warren! Mayor Warren!

Hey, Papa bear, you got a lot of supporters out there.

People who vote.

What do you say to the people who see you as a, uh, vigilante?

Oh, don't... There are no vigilantes here.

John: But for the people who want to call me that, thank you.

I'll do whatever I need to do to protect my family.

Man: Mayor Warren! Mayor Warren!

Mayor Warren!

[Engine starts]

Woman: Governor, how do you think the groundswell of support for Mayor Warren's husband will affect the election?

Let's focus on the issues in this race, not the distractions.

Next question.

[Indistinct shouting]

[Battle Tapes' "Solid Gold" plays]

[Indistinct conversations]

♪ Please, please, please me ♪
♪ You feel that pressure, baby ♪
♪ You feel it taking hold ♪

[Clears throat]

You're welcome.

The "papa bear" thing was very smart.

Now, I'm gonna need the actual two words.

There may be a role for you in this campaign.

We'll see how it goes.

I'd also accept "gracias" or "danke."

Excuse me. May I get a sparkling water, please?

Man: You got it.

It must be exhausting being you.

[Chuckles] What do you mean?

Look at how you're holding your purse.

S-So?

You're gripping it so tight, your knuckles are white.

And what would happen if you dropped it right now on the dirty floor?

I would pick it up and move on.

You'd never use it again, and you'd throw it away.

You don't know me.

Really?

You think you do, but you don't know anything about me.

I know who you are.

♪ I gave you rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ You keep me crawling back like baby, baby, baby ♪
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
♪ I think we've crossed the line ♪
♪ It comes as no surprise ♪

Here.

♪ We fold ♪
♪ And melt like solid gold ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Gabe: We've got mail.

Postmarks are all a day or two off.

Man: But how was he in all these places at once?

♪

He wasn't.

Where did you get that, honey?

Uh, this guy asked me to mail it when we got to Hawaii.

Why?

Some game he's playing with his son.

Oh.

Oh, you're so sneaky. When did you get this?

While you were in the bathroom.

One of your many trips.

Shut up.

[Laughs]

It's perfect for the little one's room, yeah?

Mm-hmm. [Chuckles]

Gabe: He's not just angry.

He's obsessed.

Consumed.

With what? Punishing the kid?

Scaring him or making him jealous or sorry or...

I think he's lonely.

♪

I think he misses him.

♪

[Door opens]

[Door closes] I know how to get him.

We'll be done with it, and you can move on with your lives.

How?

I need to use Adam... as bait.

♪

Gus, paternity test.

My wife has her book club tonight.

It's my ass if I'm not tucking the kids in by 8:00.

Gus!

What?

I got the results back.

It's not him.

♪