01x20 - All Father’s Day

[bunniefuu]

(Grunting)

No more games! Get these things off me!

My own bonds have me similarly shackled.

(Munching)

Heh. Golden.

You had enough yet, guys?

I am just getting warmed up, Iron man!

(Grunts)

Thor: The bonds. Even stronger?

Impossible!

When invented by me? Possible.

Your lightning strengthened the ionic bonds.

Now? You'll never get out.

How can you eat right now?

Are you kidding? This is the only time Hulk isn't hogging all the food.

Are you eating my popcorn?

And your cereal. And your pickles.

(Growls)

Uh-oh.

Tony, you said they couldn't cr*ck the new safety shield.

I also said it was an experiment.

The shackles of Stark are no match for the son of Odin!

(Roars)

Iron man: You know he's worked up when he starts talking about his dad.

Thor, don't!

(Screaming)

(Glass breaking)

(Coughing) Is everyone all right?

Oh, less broken than Tony's unbreakable shield.

Thor, Cap told you not to...

(Coughing) I did stay my hand, Stark.

(Growling)

Hammer-brains fried Hulk!

I did no such thing, you foul-tempered oaf!

I'll show you foul-tempered!

(Groaning)

(Hawkeye laughing)

Hey, I was gonna post that!

Oops.

Uh... Thor?

(Grunting)

Thor.

Hulk kick!

Your feet are as offensively stenched as your breath.

Odin: What is the meaning of this foolishness?

Uh-oh. Busted.

Odin. Why are you here?

I am here for you, son.

You are to come back to Asgard, never to return again.

(Gasps)

Thor: Return? Impossible.

You hate seeing Thor fight with his old man as much as I do?

Not as much as I'd hate not to have Thor fighting beside us.

We can't afford to lose our heaviest hitter.

(Growling)

One of our heaviest hitters.

Off.

(Growling)

(Gulping) And done.

Thor: I appreciate your request, father, but my place is...

It was no request, Thor.

Your time playing here is over.

Playing? Whatever you may think, Earth is rife with threats.

Asgard has abundant threats.

And you are Asgard born.

Why would you choose this realm over your own?

These are valiant warriors.

Perhaps the most valiant I have ever known.

(Hulk growls)

Hawkeye: You're overreacting!

It was just popcorn! Come on!

Valiant indeed.

Odin, is it? Tony Stark. Pleasure.

Who are you to approach me?

Just the world's most eligible bachelor and billionaire philanthropist.

Oh, brother.

What? It impresses most people.

Thor's right. We need him here.

He's the backbone of our team.

Is that why you restrain him thus?

Those? Just a little invention of mine.

Flux gain shackles.

Uh, don't be too hard on him, Mr. Odin, sir.

No one in any realm can remove those.

No one?

(Pulsating)

Or I could be wrong, and two months of engineering just went down the drain.

Father. Hear my words.

Earth...

Is insignificant where the matters of gods are concerned.

If their strongest can't best a Midgard servant or a destroyer, then they deserve their demise.

You talk too much!

(Yells)

What?

What... did you...

Just do?

Well, at least I have my S.H.I.E.L.D. back-up job.

It was nice knowing you guys.

Monster!

I am the Odinson! He is my father!

You will pay for that! (Roars)

(Odin laughs)

I haven't been hit like that since facing off against the fire-demon Surtur!

I have underestimated you, creature.

Perhaps we should try again with proper introductions.

I am Odin, son of Bor.

Bor? Oh, there's gotta be a joke in there, somewhere.

Odin, meet Captain America.

Falcon. Hawkeye. Black Widow.

And I believe you've already met Hulk's fist.

Indeed.

I found respect in our meeting, one called Hulk.

Uh, Hulk doesn't hug.

But does he feast?

Take me to the hall of dining while I decide how to properly test you all.

Your stomach can continue to rumble until we clear this matter.

Son.

In you beats the heart of a leader born, but I look to these luxuries surrounding you, and I fear you have grown soft.

Soft? Stay and see.

We Avengers fight great battles daily!

If this is not evident come the morn, I shall return to Asgard with you for good.

I accept your offer.

I will observe one cycle.

But first, we feast.

(Computer beeping)

What's the warning, Jarvis?

Jarvis: It appears that the energy creature Zzzax has besieged the United Nations building, sir.

Ready the Aven-jet.

Why delay your chance to prove yourselves to me in great battle?

Heimdall! Portal!

Portal? I do not do portals.

(Groaning)

That is why I don't do portals.

Where's my... oh!

Black Widow: Get off of me!

(Groaning)

Where's Zzzax? (Electricity crackling)

Behind you!

(Hulk roaring)

The thr*at I'm impressed by.

Your response to it, far less so.

Maybe if you hadn't absconded with us, we would...

Less fighting with pop. More fighting with crackle.

(Grunting)

Tony! Whatever this Zzzax thing is, he's eating my stings.

Hulk confronted it before, Widow.

It consumes energy.

Overfeeding it is the key.

Chew on this, spark plug.

(Grunts)

What kind of creature is not felled by Asgardian steel?

No worries.

Where Asgard fails, Hulk's fists win!

(Hulk screaming)

(Sighing)

The man of iron said the beast feasts on energy.

So energy he shall have!

Uh-oh.

Lucky for you, Odin is here!

The Odinforce?

On Midgard?

So... you've finally ventured away from the security of Asgard.

Perfect.

What have you done?

Saved the day, t'would seem.

This was not your fight!

I should have left it to them?

(Groans)

I have seen this realm's mightiest warriors prank and play like children.

What I have not seen are displays of heroism and bravery as you promised!

Because you thrust us into this siege before we had our wits about us and then usurped us once we had them back!

It was me?

Then let me provide you with a clear b*ttlefield and a worthy opponent!

Heimdall! Portals now!

Not again...

(Citizens murmur)

Central park?

Couldn't we have just taken the 6 train?

(Wind whooshing)

I have a bad feeling about this.

Falcon, perimeter this park. No civilians.

On it!

Welcome to Midgard, Odin.

I promise you, my revenge shall be slow.

Avengers!

My son believes you warriors worthy of his approval.

Prove yourselves worthy of mine.

Or what?

Or I must leave forever.

Odin: Have at thee!

(All groan)

Odin: Let us decide a warriors mettle as we do in Asgard!

Through the sport of combat!

Who will be the first to taste my power?

Taste? I'm still hungry!

Then dine on the staff of Gungnir!

If it is battle Odin wants, it is battle Odin shall have.

Guys, we can just rush in...

Avengers, assemble!

Rush in like children.

Prove it to me in your actions, son!

You take the place of your so-called team to hide their weakness!

(Grunting)

Iron man: Wrong. We've got his back.

And we're happy to att*ck yours.

(Groaning)

(Scoffs) There is a fighting spirit in you after all.

Stand down, Odin!

We can't risk injuring innocent people here.

A small price to pay for truth!

Captain America: Pour it on, Avengers! Hold him!

(Grunting)

(Yelling)

Man, you take heavy-handed parenting to a whole new level.

You are brave for one so small!

(Thudding)

Yeah, well, hearing the sound of an incoming gamma b*mb doesn't hurt.

What took you so long, Hulk? Hulk?

It cannot be. (Mangog roars)

(Grunts)

May the mightiest spires of Asgard quiver!

For the wrath of Mangog has finally returned for your wretched soul, old man Odin!

(Screams)

Iron man: Looks like all-father Odin brought a playmate.

Nothing in the S.H.I.E.L.D. files.

Anyone know what a "Mangog" is?

Mangog? Did you say...

Father!

(Groaning)

(Roaring)

(Thor yelling)

How could I have been so foolish!

In my haste to retrieve you, I've played right into that foul monster's hands!

Odin, who or what is this Mangog?

A cast-off. A mistake.

Mangog sought to make w*r with many, so I banished him to the dark realm, barring his entry into Asgard.

(Groans)

I grow weak.

My Odinforce, draining.

Treachery!

I came for you unattended by warriors of Asgard, and now Mangog seeks...

The other eye.

My sword, Rungnur, shall have it, and, with its power, Mangog shall rule the known realms!

Odin: Rungnur.

Gungnir's opposite.

It feeds off my Odinforce!

Falcon, we're up!

High and low! On it!

No! This is my fight.

You are in our home, father.

And so this fight belongs to me and my valiant warriors, the Avengers!

You have no chance!

Mangog, welcome to Earth!

Sorry you won't be staying.

Don't let the dimensional doggy-door hit you on the way out!

I don't like your big head!

(Groaning)

Open wide, Mangog!

I hate this "gods and monsters" stuff!

(Both grunt)

We're not making a dent.

Prepare yourself, fiend!

Mjolnir thirsts!

(Mangog roars)

And I'm still thirsty for action!

(Groans)

You both shall starve for victory!

Mangog!

Have you come for the Odinson, or Odin himself?

Away, foul one!

(Groans)

Will you never trust me?

I was well in control of this matter!

My team...

Are humans.

We are much, much more!

Do not question my tactics in the field of battle!

Says the one who admits bringing this evil here himself?

(Growls)

Didn't Odin say that this Mangog feeds off of the Odinforce?

Aye.

(Rumbling)

(Roaring)

Odin's beard!

My beard!

So that's where that phrase comes from.

(Mangog grunts)

Flyboy!

Thor sure is mad at his dad.

They're Asgardians. Everything is yelling this or hitting that.

Come, Odin!

Your doom awaits!

Midgard, and my father, are under my protection!

Your protection is no protection!

(Groans)

(Mangog roars)

So falls the son, so shall fall the father!

(Groans)

While you grew soft at home, I grew strong in my hatred!

I am now... (Groans)

We're not through, mongrel!

Game plan?

Iron man: Keep away from dad.

(Roaring)

(Groaning)

Here's smoke in your snout!

You see, father?

They are fine warriors.

I will not have others settle the debts of Odin's wrongs!

Hawkeye: Why am I the only one running?

What has your pride wrought?

It has wrought his end.

You banished me, Odin!

But I have returned for you.

An eye for an eye.

We shall see, fiend!

(Grunting)

Father! No!

(Roaring)

Well, that was a blast.

I can barely hear you through the ringing in my ears, but I'm betting it wasn't as funny as you thought it was.

There is no humor in this.

Finally, Odin. Revenge!

(Cackles)

Monster!

What trickery keeps me at bay?

The Odinforce.

Mine now!

(Thor grunts)

Finally, the eye of Odin is mine.

Hawkeye: And now civilians to worry about.

Feel the power!

(Screaming)

Mangog: This realm amuses me!

We need that sword.

Stop.

Spare this world.

I beg of you.

You are pathetic to beg, old man.

Nothing can stop me now!

We beg to differ!

Let me show you what the son of Asgard is made of!

(Grunting)

(Cackling)

Your courage is laughable.

Come, let's see what the Odinforce makes of you all!

(Grunting)

They are brave beyond my imagining.

But they will need you if they are to survive. Go.

Sometimes I don't mind you telling me what to do.

(Thor yelling)

How does it feel to have your father's own power dead-set against you?

I have no fear of my father's power!

Mangog: You are as foolishly confident as he is.

His worst quality.

(Groaning)

You will never break free from the shadow your father casts over you.

Black Widow: He's not the only one being cast over.

No!

All you, Hawkeye.

Got 'em.

(Roaring)

No more toys!

Let's just smash!

(Groaning)

Rise, my son.

The warriors need their friend to end this.

We could also use our friend's father.

You up to it?

Is there fight left in you, old man?

Me? Perhaps.

Them? Surely.

You are on this Earth, Mangog.

Therefore, you are ours.

You heard the Hulk.

No more toys!

Rungnur...

Is mine!

(Groaning)

Tell me, how do my talents strike you?

Iron man: Look what I happened to bring along.

Just your size, too.

I waited so long.

An eternity!

How could I fail?

Heimdall!

Portal.

As long as it takes, I will wait for my revenge!

Can you forgive an old man his trespasses?

Are we not family?

That we are.

You have proven yourselves to me, Avengers.

Now, what else do I need to know of this realm?

I am ready to learn why my son loves this place so much.

First things first.

We have got to get you out to the boardwalk.

For coney dogs and a roller coaster.

Odin: Heimdall...

Hawkeye: (Stutters) Don't even think about it, Odin's beard.

We're taking the train.

Your friends are very bold.

And that is why they are my friends.