01x22 - Guardians and Space Knights

Episode transcripts for the 2013 TV show "Avengers Assemble". Aired May 2013 - February 2019.*
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"Avengers Assemble" is about the further adventures of the Marvel Universe's mightiest general membership superhero team. Season 3: "Ultron Revolution" revolves around Ultron returning after his apparent demise, planning to replace humanity with robots, and seeking revenge on the Avengers.
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01x22 - Guardians and Space Knights

Post by bunniefuu »

Hawkeye: And so we bid a fond farewell to Dimension Z.

After saving it from annihilation, that is.

Iron Man: Everyone, strap in.

Tearing holes between realities can get a little bumpy.

Go on, goldilocks.

Buckle into your booster-seat.

I've no fear of injury, gamma troll!

But perhaps you should be restrained...

For your own safety.

(Loud thud) (Alarms blaring)

Iron Man: Cosmic turbulence, incoming.

Hold on to something!

(Both groaning)

Hulk: Get off me, Goldie! What're you doin'?

Let go of me! (Grunts)

Whoa, planetary alarms are going crazy!

Sounds like we missed a party.

What happened?

That happened!

Hawkeye: Uh, I'd like to go back to Dimension Z now, please.

He has returned, Avengers.

The devourer of worlds.

Galactus!

Iron Man: And he's already past the appetizer stage.

Avengers, we've got less than five minutes before Galactus powers up his munch-o-tron and sucks all the energy from Earth.

We don't stop him now, there'll be nothing left.

So what's the plan?

I've prepared a strategy specifically to deal with his return.

Thor, summon every electron within 100 kilometers.

One bolt. Make it count.

Hawkeye, break out the heavy a*tillery.

Tony, route all uni-beam power...

Cap, I never told you this, but I only went along with your Galactus prep drills because I thought he'd never come back.

Now that he's here...

Captain America: Oh, no. You are not going rogue.

The entire planet's at stake. We need to act as a team.

And hopefully, you will.

Hawkeye: Hopefully, we will?

We're not the ones pulling a Stark!

(Growls)

Captain America: Iron Man. I assume you've got your own plan, as usual?

The plan is "trust me."

Iron Man: To save the Earth, we need to be willing to make any sacrifice.

(Mechanical whirring)

Jarvis, lock onto Galactus' data stream.

If I'm going to talk to the big guy, I need to broadcast on the same frequency.

Okay, Tony.

Time to put your money where your mind is.

Activate pulse!

(Grunts)

(Straining)

Few have attained direct communication with Galactus.

You are unlikely to survive.

Well, the seven billion other people on this planet aren't going to fare any better.

Regrettable, but Galactus hungers.

And Galactus must feed.

That's what I wanted to discuss.

Iron Man, no!

Hmm?

Huh?

That was his plan?

Synced and corrected by masaca Iron Man has perished? This cannot be!

Why is he always puling these crazy moves and not telling us?

'Cause that's what he does.

You think he actually sacrificed himself for a greater good?

Falcon: No way. Jarvis, replay event from on board recorders.

Extreme slo-mo.

Full-spectrum enhancement!

See? Evaporated.

Not evaporated. Teleported.

Tony's armor has a built-in trace frequency micro-pings that only we can track.

Even across light-years.

Captain America: Strap in for hyperspace travel.

You first.

Together then.

Huh. Knew you were chicken.

Hawkeye: So once again our so-called leader calls his own plays and leaves the rest of us out in the cold.

He did one thing right, he got Galactus off the Earth.

But there's something else. It looks like Tony engaged in some sort of ultra-high-speed data exchange.

You mean he and Galactus entered their own private chat room? What'd they talk about?

The computer wasn't fast enough to decipher it.

Scanners have a lock on Iron Man's signal.

He's close.

Jarvis: Position established. Outer spiral arm, the D'bari system.

We need a plan.

Let's all just fly off and do our own thing. That's what Tony did!

We don't know what Tony did.

That's my point.

(Alarm beeping)

Collision alert!

Huh, they're not attacking.

Thor: No weapons. These are not warships.

Captain America: They're transport vessels.

Millions of them.

It's an evacuation. But why?

One giant guess.

Scan the planet.

Falcon: It's there. Center of the main city.

Galactus' machine.

What of our armored ally?

Look! Another ship is coming in!

It's on intercept. Try and lose them.

We don't have time for a fight.

(Circuits scrambling)

Uh-oh. Comm is down!

Falcon: And so are the shields!

Tractor beam's got us!

Be ready for anything.

(Growling)

What did I tell you, Drax? Looters!

Lowest life forms in the universe, Gamora.

Didn't reckon on running into us Guardians.

I am Groot.

Ha! By the spires of Asgard, the Guardians of the Galaxy!

Sorry, Avengers. Thought you were looters.

As you can tell, we don't have a lot of time for diplomacy.

That depends, Star-Lord. What's happening here?

Nothing that concerns you, I guarantee it.

Perhaps we should be the judge of that.

Yeah, at least we don't have a cutesy animal mascot and a talking pencil.

Call me "mascot" again. Please.

(w*apon charging) Uh...

Rocket, back off!

(Growls)

(Growls)

Look, Captain, if you must know, we're evacuating 10 billion D'bari.

Well, we're here to find a missing teammate, not interfere in your operations.

He just happened to visit at the exact time Galactus targeted this planet for consumption?

He's got bad timing like that.

I have a feeling it's not a coincidence.

Star-Lord: Drax, Gamora, take us in low.

Wow. This place is incredible.

Gamora: Unfortunately, unless we can halt Galactus' progress, the D'bari will have to find a new homeworld.

(Thudding) (All grunt)

Another outsider ship?

Not a ship. A humanoid.

He's coming in fast. Strap in.

Falcon: He's coming in for us.

Let me go smash his glowy butt!

Good luck, he wields the power cosmic.

That power is dispensed only by Galactus himself!

We're fighting a herald of Galactus?

Guys, that's no herald.

It's Tony!

Rocket, sh**t to disable only.

Captain America: He's coming in. Brace yourselves.

(All groaning)

Such power!

It rivals Asgard's finest!

I told you to strap in.

Never!

Never!

Hull breach!

Gamora: Losing altitude!

Why is your friend attacking us?

He's usually not that evil.

I am Groot!

Yeah, I got that.

Friend or not, we gotta take action.

(Grunts)

This makes no sense. What is Tony doing?

It's obvious. He traded your world for this one.

He serves the devourer now.

He wouldn't let an entire civilization be destroyed.

Not even to save his own?

Iron Man, stand down. The Avengers are aboard...

(expl*si*n) (All grunt)

Of all times to finally stop talking, he picks now.

What's the status of D'bari evacuation?

97%. A few ships are having engine failures.

I want that number at 100%.
Star-Lord: Bring us in. We'll tractor them out.

Falcon: How did you evacuate a planet?

Star-Lord: Hey, it's what we do. Most inhabited planets have a Galactus contingency plan in place.

Doesn't Earth?

Earth has the mighty Avengers to keep it safe, doesn't it?

Uh...

Took out our main cannons!

The lady's too big a target.

Let's take the party exterior and deal with that herald.

Stay put. We won't be long.

"Stay put"?

Tony said he had a plan. You think this is it?

We'll never find out if the Guardians sh**t him out of the sky.

We can't let them take down Iron Man.

Yeah, no one busts up our shellhead but us!

Verily! Follow me to victory... argh!

(Hulk grunts)

(Both grunting)

He's helping Galactus devour a planet, Viking!

I am not a Viking!

(Both grunting)

I am Groot!

Get off or get smashed, toothpick!

(Grunting)

Have all the Avengers gone crazy?

Probably, they're earthlings.

No offense.

On my way, Tony.

+ Argh, get off me!

Keep steady, will ya?

You're throwing off my aim!

Careful. Rodents are a bird's natural enemy.

So's the ground.

Whoa!

(Grunts)

What is your damage, earthling?

You wanna see some damage, lady?

Watch where you point those sticks!

Star-Lord, stand down! He's one of us.

Besides, there's a bigger thr*at to deal with.

You bet there is, and your teammate's the cause of it.

He may have saved your world, but what about this one?

[Grunts]

I am Groot.

You don't say?

The herald is attacking those ships!

No, I... I'm pretty sure he's saving them.

.

He's here.

And he looks very, very hungry.

I am Groot!

Herald or no, I think we both agree that we need to take Galactus out.

No argument there, so let's work together.

The last D'bari ships have cleared the planet.

Finally! We can let slip the dogs of w*r!

I suggest we combine our expertise.

Pair up. One from each team.

Think we already did.

Me and you? Don't get in my way.

Why are the green ones always so mean?

I am Groot!

(Hulk roars)

Rocket Raccoon: Fly straight, feather-head!

sh**t straight, furball!

Follow my lead, Viking.

I am not a Viking!

(Grunts)

Star-Lord, you have to listen.

I know how it looks, but Tony Stark always has a plan.

If this is his plan, it's failing.

Star-Lord: Gamora, Hawkeye, you're up.

I think I've located a weakness.

There. That intake.

It must be feeding into the reactor core.

Just hit the mark with one of these, and it'll cause a chain reaction!

Well, why didn't you say so, sister?

(Hawkeye grunts)

(Both yelling)

Whoa!

(Yelling)

Huh?

Uh, remember me? Clint?

How I turned your arc reactor into a popcorn machine?

Used your helmet as an ice bucket?

Come on, I'm so memorable.

Whoa!

Hawkeye: Okay, maybe you don't remember me, but I bet you remember this.

Call it my "anti-Iron Man" arrow.

Built specifically by you, to take out your armor.

First, you save me. Now you destroy a planet.

Whose side are you on?

Iron Man: I serve Galactus.

The Tony I knew would never do this. Why help him?

Galactus hungers.

Galactus must feed.

We saved each other's lives a dozen times over.

But you tell me what your game is, or I swear, I will drop you.

Galactus must feed.

Huh?

Guys! I think the iron herald has some kind of plan or something!

No, I'm sure of it!

He spoke to you? What did he say?

Uh, "Galactus must feed!"

Nope. Nothing sinister there.

Hawkeye: Okay. Not encouraging, I know.

But it was the way he said it.

Listen, you just gotta trust me, okay?

You're sure?

Uh, 60-40.

Avengers! Cease all hostilities against Galactus.

Are you crazy?

You heard the man. Stand down.

Falcon: But what about the Guardians?

Who's gonna convince them?

Star-Lord: Guardians, they may be Earth's mightiest, but we protect the galaxy!

Pour it on and do not stop!

Star-Lord: Keep it up! This is our opening!

Take your sh*t!

I am...

Groot!

Bring down that herald by any means necessary.

Any means? Are you sure?

There's still a man in there, Pete.

Star-Lord: This is bigger than any one man.

Bring him down.

I... am...

Groot!

Groot!

Gamora: Now! Before he recovers!

Sorry, avenger. Nothing personal, but I gotta put you in deep freeze.

That's cold!

(Hulk roars)

Star-Lord, listen to me!

We have to let this play out whatever the consequences.

Star-Lord: The consequences are clear!

This planet's gonna be toast!

Iron Man has a plan. Trust me!

Trust you? And your misguided faith in your former teammate?

That kind of trust doesn't exist!

.

Gamora: This is when he is at his most vulnerable.

The time to att*ck is now!

Gamora, wait!

Too much power!

Too much to consume!

The machine's overloading!

There's way more energy than just the surface life-forms.

Greater than even the insatiable appetite of Galactus can withstand.

Even Galactus has limits. But how?

Drax, scan the planet.

Core temperature rising.

Seismic activity, radiation... off the charts!

Rocket Raccoon: This planet was already going to explode and not because of Galactus.

Herald! Help me!

Galactus must feed.

What have you done?

You required a life-rich planet.

Thanks to the power cosmic, I found one.

With an unstable uranium core.

Did your loyal servant neglect to inform you?

Clearly, I am no longer worthy to be your herald.

Can we go now?

.

Hawkeye: Huh. Guess he's sleeping one off.

Hulk: How long before he wakes up?

Iron Man: Long enough for us to put a real plan in place on Earth.

You know, that power cosmic is a heck of a thing.

It allowed me to find an unstable planet that was on its way out anyway.

Even the D'bari didn't know their home was going to blow.

Galactus showing up got them to evacuate.

And you felt it unimportant to let us know of this grand plan?

Tough to clue you in when I was hyper-communicating with a being older than the universe itself.

And besides, I didn't want to risk him finding out.

And what of the D'bari?

Star-Lord: We've already located a new homeworld.

One that won't blow up.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I hope our teams cross paths again.

I've no doubt, though I'm still not sure about your tactics.

What tactics?

With all that bickering and countermanding each other, it's a wonder they function as a team at all.

It all comes down to one word.

"Tony?"

"Trust."

(Sighs) Just be glad you don't have to live with him.

I am Groot.
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