01x24 - Crime and Circuses

Episode transcripts for the 2013 TV show "Avengers Assemble". Aired May 2013 - February 2019.*
Watch on Amazon Merchandise Collectibles


"Avengers Assemble" is about the further adventures of the Marvel Universe's mightiest general membership superhero team. Season 3: "Ultron Revolution" revolves around Ultron returning after his apparent demise, planning to replace humanity with robots, and seeking revenge on the Avengers.
Post Reply

01x24 - Crime and Circuses

Post by bunniefuu »

(Alarms sounding)

(Rumbling)

Any idea what we're dealing with here?

Hey, you know as much as I do.

Robbery in progress at a Stark lab facility.

Suspected super-powered perpetrators.

Stark facility... Why isn't Iron Man here?

You seriously expect Tony to clean up his own messes?

So, we're the only two that answered the alert?

Yup.

Weird.

Hawkeye: Yup.

(expl*si*n)

Gotcha.

Thanks.

Main operations lab entrance Is about 50 yards forward.

It's gotta be their target.

Stark makes high-output fuel cells here.

Since when do you pay attention to what Tony builds and where?

Let's just say, I may have been here before.

Previous Avengers mission?

Let's just not say.

(Hulk roars)

(expl*si*n)

If I didn't know better, I'd say that sounds like our angry green guy.

Isn't it a little late for "punk the new Avenger"?

Hawkeye: It's no joke. Move.

Falcon: Uh, what's going on?

Wrong question.

Right question... where is our fearless leader?

Good evening, creeps. It's showtime.

Now, I'm freaked out.

(expl*si*n)

(Grunts)

Hit the birdie, win a prize.

(Grunting)

They're mind controlled.

(Grunting)

(Yells)

Who has the power to mind control the Avengers?

And who's sick enough to dress them like that?

Someone who's desperate to nab experimental Stark tech for upgrades.

Hold up. I've been on a S.H.I.E.L.D. satellite for the past 48 hours.

But how did you avoid getting stuffed into a clown suit?

Look, Iron Man doesn't have his helmet.

That head ring is the mind device.

They all have 'em.

Little precision sh**ting ought to knock that tiara right off.

Hey. - Take 'em off without knowing the code, and you'll fry their brains.

How do you know that exactly?

Just a ......hunch.

(Hulk roars)

Let's make a deal. Explain how you got so good at hunches, And I don't drop you.

Straight up, Hawkeye. What is this?

It's the Circus of Crime.

Circus of Crime? You just make that up?

Show yourself, Ringmaster.

Hope you know what you're doing.

(Grunts)

(Yells)

Got special seats for you, right down front.

Welcome to the show.

I am Ringmaster.

Hawkeye, you know this clown?

Hawkeye hasn't told you about us yet?

Where are your manners, archer?

(Whimpers)

(Grunts)

We are the new Circus of Crime.

High-tech acts for a modern age.

(Grunts)

Ringmaster: The Human Cannonball.

Cannot be stopped by man or beast!

(Groans)

Leave him alone!

Pipe down, bird, or I'll clip your feathers.

The Gambonno Twins, capable of amazing acrobatic feats!

Huh?

(Laughs)

(Grunting)

Ringmaster: Bruto, the strong man!

More powerful than a Hulk!

(In pain) I... doubt... that.

Doubt this, backstabber.

And an old favorite. Trick sh*t!

(Laughs)

I bet you weren't expecting to see him, were you?

Trick sh*t?

Who cares? Whoever you freaks are, you're toast!

You defending him?

'Cause he sure won't do the same for you.

S.H.I.E.L.D. is right behind us.

Well, that won't do at all.

I need a little time to implement these new toys, Mr. Stark was kind enough to donate to our performances.

Iron Man...

Let them feel what it's like to be betrayed by a friend!

(Grunts)

The next time you see us... the Circus of Crime will launch the careers of the biggest criminals on Earth!

The Avengers!

Enjoy the show... as it breaks you, Clint!

(Snaps fingers)

He called you by name.

(Groans) How do you know these people?

This is personal, isn't it?

What is this, 20 questions?

Tri-carrier. I don't have time for this!

Where are you going? S.H.I.E.L.D. just got here!

Great! Give them my love.

Fury's not going to like this one bit.

(Panting)

Whoa!

(Grunts) Okay.

Here's a good idea. I'll ask questions that you actually answer.

Hawkeye: Uh, I hate that plan.

Hawkeye, sometimes I think you're the coolest guy on the team.

And other days, I can't stand you.

So I'm an enigma, let it go.

Happy to.

(Groans) No, no!

(Screams) Hey, come on, man!

(Grunts)

Take two. Why don't you want S.H.I.E.L.D. or me involved in this?

(Sighs) Because it's my fault. All of this.

That's all I'm gonna say about it until I set things right.

Alone.

Mind-controlled Avengers should be handled by S.H.I.E.L.D.

At least respect that I know that much and come with me.

Falcon to tri-carrier bridge.

Request permission to come aboard.

(Grunts)

I do respect you, kid.

It's me I'm not so sure about.

(Squawks)

You never did learn to check your six, Princess Python.

I never expected you to show your face again after what you did.

To you and the Circus... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it.

Are you still with them?

I'm a solo act for the moment.

As if you care.

Believe it or not, I do.

Ringmaster took my team. Do you know where they are?

Oh, now you care about your team?

(Rumbling) Uh...

That looks a whole lot bigger than I remember.

(Grunts)

There seems to be a lot you don't remember.

Let me remind you!

(Grunts)

Whatever they gave you that snake upgrade for, think about what you're doing before you go back to them.

You have good in you. You could have made a different choice that day.

We don't all get second chances, Clint.

It's not too late to put this overgrown worm back in its cage, Princess.

(Laughing)

Falcon: She's a Princess?

My snake and I don't like an ambush!

If you hadn't followed me, I would have taken care of this, Falcon.

Yeah, I can see you've got it handled.

(Groans)

Circus is in town.

(Grunts)

(Groans)

Ringmaster wants you to run away with us. And come back home.

(Groans)

Where am I?

Ringmaster: (over PA) The Circus of Crime!

Welcome back! It's been so long, we'd almost forgotten you.

But then, we never forget a face.

Especially yours.


And me without my bow.

Yet another reason I hate the circus.

Always knew you were a coward, Ringmaster.

Uh-oh.

Hiding behind other people and other people's tech.

But I don't think you know who you're up against.

Whoa!
Ringmaster: (over PA) That's the beauty of it, I know exactly who I'm up against. And I have both his friends and their technology on my side.

What do you want from me?

Isn't it obvious? I want revenge. I want a show! And all of us in the Circus want to see your turncoat hide. Ripped apart by your own team!

Okay. Maybe I do need some back up.

Then I guess you won't be mad I dropped a tracer in your quiver.

This is where you thank me and admit you've been a jerk.

Thank you.

That was only half. No more running?

Ringmaster: Oh, but that's what he does best, flyboy. Leave his teammates behind.

(Both scream)

(Both grunt)

So, let history repeat itself, archer.

Walk out on your so-called "friends."

While we enjoy the show.

Cap first?

Unless he suddenly learned how to breathe under water.

Trick sh*t... I hate that guy.

Falcon?

On it!

Clever. Your wing man is much more talented than you were at his age.

Hulk and Thor next. We need the muscle.

Actually, a little humility is probably good for goldilocks.

(Grunts)

Falcon, 12 o'clock!

Falcon: Busy!

(Screams)

Widow!

(Screaming)

(Grunts)

Whew! Close call.

(Both shriek)

Ringmaster: Only the Circus can remove my control rings, traitor.

And that won't happen.

(Thuds)

Hawkeye, what's plan B?

We're still on plan A, kid.

Ringmaster: Boom!

(All struggling)

Black Widow: The show must go on.

Hulk: Get 'em.

Regretting your decision to back me up, beak?

Never. Whatever happened is in the past.

Here and now, we're a team.

I'll always have your back.

Well, thanks.

Looks like it won't be a commitment you'll have to keep much longer.

I will have thee yet! Hold still!

Sorry, Thor. All that training against you at the tower paid off.

(Groans)

More training needed.

(Groans)

Pew, pew! Pew, pew, pew!

(Laughing)

Step aside! It is not your battle.

I'm an Avenger. That makes this my fight.

Wrong answer!

Hang on to this for me.

Huh?

Come on, green bean, the one time I actually want you to lose control, and you're busy playing purple pants puppet.

(Roars)

Perfect, isn't it?

With my control rings, I'll make your new team.

Bigger criminals than we ever were.

New team? Who was his old team?

Trick sh*t, end it.

(Snaps fingers)

With pleasure.

Hawkeye: Penny for your thoughts?

Yeah, that's what I figured.

Nice sh*t, for an amateur.

Joke all you want.

Short of the cavalry charging in, but you and your tweety little friend are done, bowman.

Huh? Can't be!

Oh, yes, it is.

Princess Pthon!

Hawkeye: She's a Princess. She fights with a big snake.

Uh, never mind.

This is called doing what's right.

Welcome back.

Couldn't resist me, huh?

More like, you need my help.

Falcon, wing up!

The snake won't hold them more than a few seconds.

It's all I need.

The encryption cell is the blue light.

Hello.

Falcon: I never knew you were that good.

I have a lot of secrets.

Do tell.

All right. Everyone back to normal?

I hate clowns!

Take that as a "yes." Now, assemble us and let's shut this circus down.

Thanks for the assist.

I take it you've switched sides.

Depends on who wins today, I guess.

Bet on the good guys.

Better yet, be one.

(All gasp)

That was just my opening act.

Strike!

(Screams)

Python!

Would have been fun to watch your team destroy you, but the Circus of Crime is happy to destroy you ourselves.

Circus Maximus, att*ck!

(Laughing)

Black Widow: You can flip, but you can't hide.

Stronger than you look. Uglier, too.

Only room for one strong man here.

Bad news for you.

Hawkeye: Yo, Trick sh*t, over here!

Trick sh*t: Don't be jealous.

The Circus recruited a bowman every bit your match.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Falcon: You know the worst thing about cannonballs?

All power... no steering.

(Gasps)

Ouch!

(Growling)

What sorcery!

It's a-science!

Ha! (Gasps)

(Groans)

(Both laugh)

Hey, look who just drop in.

Both: Ha!

Widow!

Time for your farewell performance!

How you like-a the boots from Italy?

I prefer American made.

Ha!

With the greatest of ease.

(Roars)

Guess we know who's the strongest.

I had him.

And I finished him.

(Groans)

Falcon: This is three-ring chaos.

If you're gonna be a hero, Princess, now's the time.

Hawkeye?

Guess again.

Back inside.

This battle stops now, or I finish this traitor.

I guess you proved who the master archer is.

Trick sh*t: Python, you can keep playing hero and share their fate, or you can rejoin us.

Choice is yours.

I already chose my side.

I'm not a Circus act anymore.

All I needed to hear.

(Screams)

(Groans)

Trick sh*t, what are you doing?

Teamwork.

No.

Show's over.

For good this time.

Hawkeye: Hey, Princess, want you to meet someone.

Name's Nick Fury.

He's not so big on pets, but he's really good with second chances.

Something you wanna say about all this, Hawkeye?

I guess I do owe you guys an explanation.

See, back in the day, I worked the Circus as Trick sh*t, but I never felt good about it, so during our biggest heist ever, I decided to trigger the alarm.

(Alarm ringing)

Of course we all got captured, but Fury saw something in me.

Gave me a chance to walk the right path, and I never had to look back, until now.

I thought you guys wouldn't accept my past.

Hate me much?

Never.

But keeping secrets, even tough ones, doesn't do anyone any good.

I know. And, ugh, it makes my lips itch to say this, but I'm sorry.

Hey, it's in the past. All of it.

What matters is the Hawkeye you are today... good parts and bad.

Thanks, Sam. I'm an Avenger now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Post Reply