04x15 - Clouds

Previously on "This Is Us" Mom is suffering from cognitive impairment.

Mom asked me not to tell you guys.

She didn't want to add any more stress to your plates.

Let me take care of Jack this weekend.

I need to spend time with my son.

You like it?

Hey, Kate.

It's Madison.

I slept with Kevin!

I've been anxious for so long.

Beth thinks I should see a therapist.

Well, maybe you should.

Sorry I'm late, guys.

I got out of there just as soon as I could.

- Hi.

Hi.

- Hi.

Report Card Day.

- They've been waiting.

- Report Card Day.

Let's do this, huh?

Oh.

- Oh, that is a serious face.

- Oh, yeah.

- Bec, this is bad news.

- Mm-hmm.

I think, maybe, could it be his straight-A streak is over?

Oh, an A-minus in geometry.

Oh, you are so grounded.

I'm putting too much time into Mathletes and not enough time into actual math.

Oh, no, hey, come on, this is great, pal.

- Really.

Forget it.

- Hey.

- Bug, are you okay?

- Wait, so she could be bluffing.

- Is she bluffing?

- Is she?

Huh.

Improvements in biology - and civics.

- Yeah, Kate, this is great.

- What's wrong?

- Stuart broke up with me.

- Aw, hon - No.

I need to be alone.

Don't follow me.

- Katie girl - No, no, I - I will handle that.

- Sure.

Let's do Kevin quickly, and then I'll go upstairs.

Oh, that's a very smug mug, sir.

Can it be?

Two As, baby.

What?

Yeah, in P. E. and art.

The rest are Cs and two Ds.

"Disruptive in class".

"Arrives late".

"Needs to be center of attention"?

Kevin.

Two As are two As.

Mom said I'd get five dollars for every "A".

Bet you five bucks you don't know what that adds up to.

I'm gonna buy an entire box of baseball cards with my winnings.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna contest my grade.

That'll be an "A" by next week.

You know, Randall, it wouldn't hurt you to to lighten up on yourself.

No way.

I'm going to fix this.

Hey.

Ten bucks.

American.

The second I talk to Mrs.

Hollins, it'll be up to an "A".

Hey, babe?

Randall is getting worse.

Do we need to talk to someone, like a guidance counselor or a?

No, come on, he's just, he's wound up tight.

All right?

He needs to blow off some steam.

Blow off steam?

Don't worry about it.

I got it.

Go on.

Okay.

Everything okay?

Uh, yeah, why?

I don't know, just thought you'd be a little more refreshed after a weekend at the cabin.

Ah.

Um, Mom's getting the results for her MRI this afternoon, and I can tell she's a little nervous.

Just really hate not being there in person.

But, hey, that's something you could talk about in therapy, - right?

- Yeah.

I'm so proud of you.

This is a big step.

It's not that big of a deal.

All right.

- No big deal.

- Mm-hmm.

Uh, so, hey, listen, you know, Annie's birthday is coming up, - and I was thinking - Have you still got that organic beeswax balm - you keep talking about?

- Hey, out of my purse, man.

What are you?

Aah!

What?

- And I was thinking - Thank you.

That we could get her the iPhone.

We agreed: no iPhones until junior high.

I know.

But, you know, she's so cute when she begs.

- Mm-hmm.

- You know, the Force is strong with that one.

But it is stronger in us.

At least it is now.

Mmm.

I love your lip balm.

I love your face.

Yeah - Hey.

- Morning.

You're up early.

Coffee's fresh.

Hi.

Hi.

My goodness.

Someone was asleep when Mommy got home last night from the cabin.

Um, I know we didn't really get a chance to talk last night, so I'll start.

I'm sorry.

For everything.

I said what I said out of fear and-and worry and exhaustion, and if I could take it all back, I would.

But This weekend was a real godsend.

So without further ado, would you please follow me and Jack to the garage?

We have a surprise for you.

All right, you're gonna have to use your imagination here.

But I was thinking we turn the garage into a music studio, huh?

Now here, take him it's not all up to scale But, uh, this would be the microphone.

Testing, one, two, three.

- So, stay with me.

- Toby.

This is the pièce de résistance.

Ready?

Toby, please stop.

Please.

I really appreciate what you're trying to do.

But, you know, after one weekend I'm just having tr This is very nice.

It's a very sweet gesture.

I-I just, I'm gonna need some time.

Okay.

What?

Is everything okay?

Is it your mom?

No, it's Madison.

She slept with Kevin, so she wants to have brunch so she can apologize.

I'm sorry, I know that we're kind of in the middle of a thing right now, but permission to react?

Yeah.

What?!

How was your trip with your brother and your sister?

Oh, the trip was great.

You know, very peaceful, lot of bonding.

Exactly what I needed.

It was wonderful.

- Yeah.

Nice.

- How are you?

I'm good.

Well, that's great.

I mean, you look great.

- I do?

- Yes, you do.

Well, thank you.

Wonderful, actually.

They told you, didn't they?

What?

Told me what?

No.

Kevin.

Randall let it slip.

Sweetheart, I'm sorry.

- No.

- No, I, I wanted to tell you - in person myself.

- No, no, no, no.

Listen, don't you worry about me, you understand?

I'm I'm here to take care of you.

All right?

How are you really feeling?

I know you have some MRI results coming back today, right?

- Mm-hmm.

I'm-I'm good, though.

- Okay.

I'm good.

I'm a little anxious about today, I'm not gonna lie, but it's funny, somehow all of this bad news has sort of freed me up.

Carpe diem and all that.

- Hey.

How you doing?

- Hey.

Ah.

Good.

- Good.

- Yeah?

- All things considered, yeah.

- Okay.

Great.

Well Oh, man.

What-what-what are you guys doing today?

Oh.

We actually were planning on going to visit some of those, um old-fashioned record stores.

Something we say we always want to do, and we never do it, so we're doing it.

- Fun.

Can I come?

- Yeah.

- You want to?

- Yeah.

- I got an idea.

- Huh?

Why don't you two go off and make a day of it.

- Just the two of you.

- Are you sure?

Yeah.

Carpe Diem Rebecca is running me ragged.

You just make sure that you have her back in time for her doctor's appointment at 4:30.

- I can do that.

- Okay.

- Mr.

Pearson.

- Yeah.

Hello.

Hi.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Randall.

Please sit.

Can I get you something to drink?

Um likewise.

And no, thank you.

Uh what's with the?

I find it comforting.

Well, at least you'll have something to look at if I bore you.

So, what brings you here today?

It's kind of a long story.

You got an hour?

Okay.

Come on, guys.

You're gonna be late for school.

Kev.

Baseball cards back up in your room, please.

Hustle, Kevin.

I'm meeting Mrs.

Hollins before class to talk about changing my grade.

Can you take me to the baseball card store after school?

Nope.

I'm sorry, I don't have time.

I have errands to run: grocery store, bank, library, dry cleaning.

Sorry.

Then, can you give me the money for my two As?

I want to feel it burning in my pocket all day.

Hey, Kev, come on, baseball cards upstairs.

Randall, you remember I'm picking you up from school?

- You got your stuff?

- Yeah.

Okay, good.

Wait in the car.

Hey, Kate?

Come on!

I'll be loving you Forever Bug?

It's time to go.

I go.

I stay.

What does it matter?

I'm gonna go to the market a little later today.

Do you have any requests for dinner?

Three-cheese macaroni?

You got it.

- Hi.

- How about after school I come with you on your errands, and then we can swing by the card store afterwards?

Fine.

Okay, let's go.

Rows and flows of angel hair And ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons Everywhere I've looked at clouds that way, but now Ah.

I miss that crackle on the record before the music.

Joni I would spend hours staring at this album artwork.

Reading all the sleeve notes.

Okay, boomer.

Ha, you can laugh at me all you want, but my record collection was my whole world.

Kind of like you and your baseball cards.

- Oh, okay.

- Mm-hmm.

All right, no, my-my baseball cards, that, that was, that was real, that was a collection, okay?

There-there was strategy involved, there was commerce.

- I mean, the whole thing.

- Oh, I remember.

- Yeah.

- Mm-hmm.

Did I ever tell you the first time your father and I came out to L. A. , we tried to find Joni Mitchell's old house in, um, Laurel Canyon?

I think we passed Mount Olympus.

You sure the map's not upside-down?

No.

We got close, we even wandered around Joni's neighborhood, but we never found the house, so we gave up.

Maybe we should finish the job, you know?

We'll find Joni Mitchell's old house.

How?

Hey, Siri?

Where's Joni Mitchell's old house?

- What are you doing?

- Here's what I found on the Web.

Is that it?

That her house?

- Oh, my goodness, yes!

- Yeah?

Yes, that-that's the house.

Well, uh, do you think we have time, though, before your doctor's appointment?

Well, if we don't have time, we're gonna make time.

- Okay, Carpe Diem Rebecca.

- Yes.

Here we go, all right.

Hey, girl.

Get over here.

It's nice to see you.

Isn't this place cute?

I love coming here for brunch.

It's hip but still normal Okay, Madison, let's just cut the preamble.

Okay, let's just get it over with.

I screwed up.

You are so important to me, and friends don't do that to friends.

Or their brothers.

Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking.

Other than I have never seen anyone so hot and so vulnerable at the same time.

My brain just shorted.

I mean, I know he's your brother, but my God.

I am so sorry.

I am ashamed and embarrassed, and it'll never happen again.

I really don't know what to think about all of this.

And it really couldn't have come at a more terrible time.

Is it that CrossFit bitch?

I'll kill her.

Is it Toby?

I'll kill him.

You just say the word, I will "Kill Bill" all of them and help you raise that child myself.

Talk to me, Kate.

Please?

So, how we doing this, Doc Is it "Good Will Hunting" or "The Sopranos"?

No, I'm just playing.

I, um I'm comfortable speaking about my emotions.

I'm an emotional man.

No shame.

Uh before we start, let me just put this on silent.

My, uh, mom's got a doctor's appointment today, but there's no need for any distractions, right?

Okay.

All yours.

Is she okay?

Ah, she's fine.

Um, early signs of dementia, but we're on top of it.

Today's just a follow-up appointment, but that's-that's not why I'm here.

So, why are you here?

Um I have anxiety.

Suffer from, is that the?

Doesn't matter.

Maybe once every decade things get too overwhelming.

I'll have a panic attack.

I'll be hospitalized.

That's happened twice.

My house was recently broken into.

My wife's worried about history repeating itself.

So, my-my daughter Tess uh I have three daughters.

Anyway, Tess sees a therapist.

Um it's really helped her.

So, I think that's what I'm looking to get out of this is coping mechanisms.

Okay, well, before we get to that, I'd like to know a little more about you.

I'm an open book where do you want to start?

The beginning?

So, I'm actually adopted.

I was left at a fire station the day I was born, and a fireman took me to the hospital, where he met my parents I'm so sorry.

Before we get too far into the weeds here, full disclosure I do know who you are.

I've actually heard that story in one of your speeches.

In many of your speeches, actually.

Oh, you know my speeches.

- Mom?

- Yes, Kevin?

- Baseball cards.

- Not yet.

So unfair.

Well, so is life.

Look, you-you're making Kate's favorite dinner because she got dumped.

And you're returning Randall's library books because he's a massive nerd.

The least you could do is give me five minutes at the baseball card store.

Uh, I didn't go to the grocery store just for Kate.

I also bought groceries, including two chickens that I will cook for the whole family.

I wish you were more like Sophie's mom.

She's fun.

Uh I'm fun.

I am as fun as Sophie's mom.

I am a fun mom.

Oh, wait, are you being serious?

Okay, fine.

Fine.

We will go to the baseball card store.

- Yes.

- Because I'm fun.

- But five minutes only.

- Okay.

- Five minutes, Kevin, you hear me?

- Got it.

Seriously.

We have groceries, including frozen vegetables - and dairy.

- All right.

Thank you.

I cannot believe I'm here.

- Yeah.

- Kevin.

You know, Joni Mitchell lived in this house - with Graham Nash.

- Wow.

Wait, what are you doing?

I was gonna ring the bell.

Don't you want to see inside?

Isn't that rude to just show up unannounced?

It's not fair, but being a celebrity is like having a Fast Pass to pretty much everything you want to do in life.

Hmm.

Except of course making people magically home.

- Oh.

- Mom?

It's open.

It's open.

Come on.

- Mom.

- Come on.

All right.

If I end up on "TMZ" for breaking into Joni Mitchell's old house with my mom Actually, I mean, that could play.

Hey, Dad?

I have an "A" in P. E.

I really don't need to be doing this.

It's not about grades, Randall.

Exercise is about getting blood moving through your whole body.

Okay?

Now, I want you to run until that worried feeling in the pit of your stomach goes away.

I really don't like running.

Yeah.

How about racing?

Huh?

Come on.

You and me, once around the track.

I'll even give you a head start.

Yeah.

Hey, just do me a favor?

Try and make it interesting.

Okay, runners.

On your marks get set - Go!

- I guess what I'm saying is, I'm fortunate to have been shaped by two incredible fathers the one I lost and the one I gained.

It's in my speeches for a reason.

- Of course.

- Yeah, of course.

You know, I can't help but feel like I'm throwing off my back foot here.

It's like you googled me.

Isn't that against the rules?

I mean, I just find it weird that you waited to bring that up.

You knew No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm only gonna get out of it what I put in, right?

Not your fault.

I'm a public figure I shouldn't have been surprised.

Where were we?

Family.

Family.

Sure.

Of course.

I just told him it-it wasn't enough for him to want to be a good father.

Just needs to be one.

And now I don't even know if he's being sincere or if he's just telling me what I want to hear.

Could it be both?

I mean trust me, I will take whatever position you take right now.

But is it possible he just took what you said to heart?

I don't know.

Do you want to know why I think I slept with Kevin?

- Um, no.

Mm-mm.

- It was nice to be with someone who actually knew something about me.

As opposed to Tinder dates or being set up.

I mean, he has seen me at the hospital with no makeup.

And at your house not trying to be perky or appealing.

What you and Toby have, what I dream of finding, is that intimacy.

It's letting people see the worst part of you without being scared.

And I am just gonna say this and duck.

But shouldn't Toby be able to express his deepest fears without punishment?

Isn't that what marriage is?

Okay.

When did you become the counselor of relationships with "Bachelor in Paradise"?

I listen to a lot of relationship podcasts.

I keep hoping I'll need them someday.

So, are we good?

Yes.

But you're on probation.

You love me.

Most of the time.

Can I just tell you one thing your brother did to me?

- No.

- I was literally upside-down at one point.

- Madison.

- Just use your imagination.

Hey.

You got any '91s left, Carl?

Ooh, not many.

What are you looking for, Kev?

I need a '91 John Candelaria to finish off last year's set.

I got ten bucks to do it.

Well, I've got only 16 packs left, but I like your chances - of finding it.

- Great, I'll take 'em.

Thank you.

Eight dollars and 40 cents.

Right.

No John Candlemalaria?

No?

Well, buck up, sweetheart.

You have, what, 14 packs left?

Here.

Blow on this one for good luck.

Oh, gosh, this gum is really not very good.

The flavor only lasts a minute.

You got to replace it, like, every 60 seconds.

- I feel good about this one.

- Yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

Come on.

- Cool.

- Hey!


Batter, batter, batter, swing!

Come on.

Did you know that Graham Nash wrote the song "Our House" about this house?

- Oh, really?

- Mm-hmm.

- Huh.

- One morning Joni and Graham went down to the Valley to have breakfast at Art's Deli.

And after breakfast they were walking down Ventura Boulevard, and Joni spotted this vase in a store window that she really liked.

Mm-hmm.

So they bought it.

And they brought it back home, and Graham suggested that Joni pick some flowers for the vase while he built a fire.

Mm-hmm.

I'll light the fire You place the flowers In the vase that you bought today Staring at the fire For hours and hours - Come on, Jack.

- No, no, I While I listen to you Play your love songs All night long for me Only for me-ee-ee Come to me now Rest your head for just five minutes Everything Is done.

- You still got it.

- Hmm.

An otherwise simple morning might have been forgotten if it weren't for that song.

Are you scared?

A little.

But I'm not even thinking about any of that right now 'cause I am I'm right here with you.

You've always had that quality, Kevin.

You make everything fun.

Which I know you probably think is a bad thing sometimes, and maybe people don't take you seriously.

You're ice cold.

Let me try.

Let me try.

Ready?

Okay.

Okay.

Nope.

It's not it.

What?

Sometimes making people forget about their worries, or what comes next that's the most important thing you can do for someone.

So, we've talked about your panic attacks and your relationship with your two fathers.

How is your relationship with your mother?

It's good.

I love my mother.

We're very close.

If you sense me tensing up right now, it's because of her illness, not because of my relationship with her.

Trust me when I say I'm not here because of her.

I'm here because I have control issues.

Is that your self-diagnosis?

I think it's kind of obvious.

Like how you're trying to control the conversation away from talking about your mom?

Okay, Dr.

Melfi.

I get it.

I get what you're doing here.

I mean, is it broke or something?

What's the?

Do you want to talk about why that's bothering you?

But then I would have to admit that it's bothering me.

Ha, ha.

Okay.

All right.

So this is all part of it, right?

The waiting room, the painting?

Is that how your operation works?

Just agitate your patients into having a breakdown?

Ah, apologies.

I need to check this.

Oh, good.

Looks like my brother will be taking my mom to her follow-up appointment today.

What could go wrong?

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain I like watchin' The puddles gather rain Hey, bud, take your stuff upstairs, okay?

Thanks.

Hi.

And speak my point of view Look, I-I know you don't want to talk about Stuart, all right?

- Especially not with your dad.

- I don't.

I just want someone to say Hey, do you know how, some Saturdays, when I make waffles, you guys see me toss the first one out?

That's because the waffle iron is too hot, or maybe it's not hot enough, or, you know, I made the batter too thick.

First boyfriends are kind of like first waffles.

Okay?

You-you got to get through a few before you get it right.

I sleep all day Yours is out there.

He's just He's still cooking.

Hello?

- Hi.

- Hi.

Thank God you're finally home.

He conked out, like, an hour ago, - and I've been too afraid to move.

- Oh.

- How'd it go with Madison?

- Surprisingly well.

She's not gonna be my sister-in-law, is she?

No.

It's all good.

- Mm.

- Tobe?

Yeah.

I don't want to resent you for being honest about your feelings.

And I don't want you to resent me for resenting you about your feelings.

I love you.

And I'm tired of the me versus you.

I mean, we're our best when it's me and you versus everyone.

- You know?

- Yeah.

Now can I see the studio?

I know I cut it short before, but I think it's one of your all-time sweetest, most romantic gestures.

Actually, it's number one.

You just haven't seen the rest of it.

Can you show me?

Oh, I'm starving.

Let's go get something to eat.

What about, um, that-that fancy sushi restaurant that you love?

Uh okay.

I don't know if we have the time, though, Ma.

I mean, uh, we got to get Miguel, I got to get you - to your doctor's appointment.

- No.

No, we can reschedule that.

Ooh, maybe I can try that dangerous food you're always talking about.

What's it called?

- The, the blowfish.

- Blowfish.

- Yeah.

- Yes.

Uh, yeah, I just I don't want to reinforce this family's narrative that I'm not dependable.

Kevin, they're only MRI results.

They can wait until tomorrow.

Mom I don't I don't want to go.

'Cause I don't want today to end.

Today's gonna end no matter what.

But there's tomorrow.

There's tomorrow, and I will be here, and we will do something else.

I promise.

It's not that I need to be in control.

My mother depends on me.

I'm the only one who can take care of her.

It's been that way a long time.

And, yes, before you drop Freud on me, I get it.

I have a very complicated relationship with my mother.

But if I'm not the one who's taking care of her, who will?

Her husband?

He's a nice guy, but he's been missing this thing for months.

My brother?

Just you wait.

By the end of this session, I'll get a text saying that he completely lost track of time and forgot about the appointment, all the She made me promise not to tell anyone when she got diagnosed.

Why?

Because my brother is a recovering addict.

My sister has a kid with special needs.

They have enough on their plate.

As if I don't.

And if you think this is new information to me, if you think I'm having some kind of revelation right now, I'm not.

Which is why this is a waste of time.

I know my faults.

I know what triggers me.

But I think my faults are good faults, and I would rather have them than to not have them.

And I know you think I'm spiraling right now.

I've seen the shows.

I know the drill.

But, hey, if it wasn't for me, this whole family would have fallen apart.

Would they?

You "Would they?" You know, um You don't get it, and I don't have time to explain it.

And, uh, due respect, how am I supposed to take mental health advice from someone who doesn't throw out magazines from 2017?

From someone who doesn't refill cups at the water cooler?

From someone who put It's not that hard, Doc.

Just turn it off when you're done.

- Hey there.

- Hey.

Sorry I missed dinner.

Where, uh, where are the girls?

Uh, Deja's upstairs, FaceTiming with Malik.

Tess and Annie are doing their homework.

Right on.

I tried, babe.

I just don't think it's for me.

I Well, not At least not right now.

I'm not closing the door on it.

Okay.

You good?

Mm-hmm.

I knew you'd find something wrong with it.

There's nothing wrong with it.

- It's just, um - I think you should try to give it a chance.

Maybe you should just go a couple more times, and-and then if you still think that Thank you, Beth, but I'm okay.

All right?

And I know you think I need this, - but - Babe?

I need this.

Sorry?

You want to know why I didn't let you go through my purse this morning?

Why?

You bought Annie the iPhone.

It's a bottle of pepper spray 'cause sometimes I have to lock up the studio alone at night.

And that didn't used to bother me, but now it does.

This is doctor-prescribed.

You know, I haven't been sleeping very well.

She gave me three pills just to get me over the hump.

And yeah.

This is a phone for Annie, but it's not because she wants it.

It's because I want her to have it because there was a strange man in our house, and I need to know where my baby is at all times.

I'm sorry, Beth, I didn't know.

Of course you didn't.

'Cause I didn't tell you.

Because I was worried that if I lay anything else on you, you were gonna crack.

But I want to tell you.

I need to.

You're my person.

Unless you're gonna get the help you need I can't.

The MoCA test ruled out impairment due to stroke or tumor.

The brain MRI revealed hippocampal atrophy, which means shrinkage in the memory centers of the brain.

We're not making a diagnosis based solely on the MRI, but hippocampal atrophy would support a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment, likely due to Alzheimer's, suggesting a clear course of action for us.

So, the truth is, I didn't clean out the garage just for you.

I cleaned it out for Jack, too.

See, the music studio is for the both of you.

Ta-da.

What?

Obviously, we will have to upgrade it as he grows, but if any kid deserves a playroom with every sound known to man, it is Jumpin' Jack Damon.

Toby, I love it.

And you're right.

This is the number one gesture.

Thank you.

- Told you.

- I know.

Hey, I'm gonna make some tea, gather up the Swedish Fish for movie night.

I'm thinking "Borat".

Perfect.

- Sweetheart?

- Yeah.

I have a favor to ask of you, and it's important.

Yeah, anything.

Please don't start treating me any differently, okay?

I need the fun.

I need the laughs.

I'm serious, Kevin.

I need that part of you.

Okay.

I also really want to go to your movie premiere in New York.

I see Matt Damon bringing his mom.

That's different.

They're engaged.

Such a cozy room The windows are illuminated By the evening Sunshine through them Fiery gems For you Only for you, ooh, ooh Come on.

Sing it.

Our house Is a very, very, very fine house - Very fine house - Nice.

Two cats in the yard - In the yard - Life used to be so hard Now everything is easy - 'Cause of you - 'Cause of you.

I'll light the fire You place the flowers In the vase That you bought Today Staring at the fire For hours and hours While I listen To you play your love songs All night long For me Only for me Come to me now - Come to me now - And rest your head For just five minutes Everything is done Such a cozy room - Such a cozy room - The windows are illuminated By the evening Sorry about the other day.

This is new for me.

Don't mention it.

Coffee?

I'm good.

Our house Is a very, very, very fine house With two cats in the yard Life used to be so hard Now everything is easy 'Cause of you And our La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la - You mind if I, uh?

- Sure.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Our - How much?

- Two dollars.

Is a very, very, very fine house Very fine house With two cats in the yard Life used to be so hard Now everything is easy 'Cause of you And our Yes!

- Did it!

- Finally.

While you place The flowers in the vase That you bought Today.