01x17 - Ruler

Episode transcripts for the TV show "MacGyver". Aired: September 2016 to present.*
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"MacGyver" centers around Angus "Mac" MacGyver, who creates a secret U.S. government organization where he uses his extraordinary talents for problem solving and his extensive knowledge of science to save lives. A reboot of the 1985–1992 ABC series of the same name.
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01x17 - Ruler

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on MacGyver...

Sarah: Nikki Carpenter was a former member of your ops team, is that right?

She's actually a deep cover agent for the CIA.

There's a mole in the U.S. government leaking classified intel to The Organization.

Who's the mole?

Someone high up in the intelligence community.

The closest I've got to I.D.'ing them is a code name: Chrysalis.

That alias belongs to you.

You are Chrysalis.

Nikki: Patricia Thornton, you have the right to remain silent.

MacGyver: So, instead of Nikki being the traitor, it was Thornton for a few years.

At least we caught Thornton, right?

(a*t*matic g*nf*re, men shouting)

That's it! That's it! I'm out!

This is bad! Like, really bad!

Like, Cairo bad! Riley, how's that satellite coming?!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The KH-11's next pass should give me enough resolution to...

Never mind!

Come on, Mac!

This is "rabbit out of the hat" time, bro! Let's go!

Come on, man! Let's go!

(g*nf*re continues)

How 'bout a flamethrower?!

A hell of a rabbit! Light it up!

(men shouting in foreign language)

What happened?!

Ran out of propane.

(vehicle approaching, tires screeching)

(shouting)

(men grunting, screaming)

Who is that?

♪ ♪

Bozer?

I got their boss under arrest, the plutonium in the trunk, and we're wheels up in 20.

Who wants a ride to the airport?

Both (chanting): Bozer! Bozer! Bozer!

Bozer! Bozer! Bozer! Bozer!

Bozer! Bozer! Bozer!

Bozer?

Bozer!

Uh, over here, sir.

You aren't done yet?

Just putting on the final touches, sir.

Hurry up. I got an ops team upstairs standing by for that prosthetic.

Copy that.

(whirring)

Query, sir.

A little busy right now.

You neglected to tell your superior that your task delay was the result of being in a state of altered consciousness.

"A little busy" means I don't want to talk about it.

Please elaborate.

Trust me, you don't want to tell people you fell asleep on the job.

But you did.

Yeah...

I know I did, okay?

But let's just keep that our little secret, okay?

Humans sleep to restore, rejuvenate, grow muscle, repair tissue, synthesize hormones.

Which of the above influenced the temporary abandonment of your work?

Boredom.

Apologies, but I do not understand.

No offense, all right, but I'm working in a windowless basement with a bunch of geeks and a talking food processor.

Look, no disrespect.

I guess I just thought being a secret agent would be a lot more exciting.

(sighs)

♪ ♪

Meet Olivia Prior, member of Dutch Parliament, known for championing education reform and fighting government corruption.

Ooh, I like her already.

Is she in some kind of trouble?

Uh, I'm sorry.

You were saying?

This woman, is she in trouble?

Actually, she may be the one causing the trouble.

According to the CIA, Prior has been leaking state secrets to a t*rror1st group.

Any idea why she's betraying her own country?

No. In fact, the CIA is having trouble verifying their intel, and they won't alert the Algemene Inlichtingen- en Veiligheidsdienst, until they do.

The hell is that?

The intelligence services of the Netherlands.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

(MacGyver snorts)

Okay, what say we just call them Dutch Intelligence and move on, 'kay?

The CIA believes that Prior will be meeting with her contact tomorrow, in Amsterdam...

But since sending agents to observe the meet would technically be spying on a close ally...

We get to do their dirty work.

Bingo.

You are gonna record the meet and get concrete proof... that Prior is an enemy agent.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up.

Record?

Yeah.

So no black bag?

No interrogation? Just surveillance?

Observe and report. Nothing more.

(laughing)

What's he so excited about?

Jack loves surveillance ops.

He's got an inflatable butt pillow. It's a whole thing.

Jack: Hey, this is the closest thing you're ever gonna get to a vacation around here, all right?

You park the van, you sit back, you relax, and you watch Riley press record.

Well, actually, Jack, it's not as simple as just...

Okay, Riley, I'm sure there's lots of cool computer stuff, too, okay?

My point is, no fistfights, no running, and no getting sh*t at. I'm in.

Well, that's precisely why I decided that this is the perfect first mission abroad for Bozer.

Hold up.

You just said I'm going on this mission?

You're going on this mission.

I'm going on this mission.

Watch out, Amsterdam!

Here comes Bozer!

Wilt Bozer.

Wiggity, wiggity, uh...

Thank you, ma'am. I mean Matty.

This is literally the easiest first mission abroad that I could give you.

So don't screw it up.

Bozer: And that jet? Amazing.

It was everything I thought it would be.

Just like the one Roger Moore gets thrown out of right before he fights that evil dude on that space station.

Do I need to be prepared for something like that?

(laughs) I think we can safely rule out space travel, Boze.

Odds are, the plane flight will be the most exciting part about this trip.

Riley: Well, a little boring sounds pretty exciting to me.

Anyone else want to check out the Van Gogh Museum?

No, not me, thanks.

I brought, like, ten Willie Nelson live CDs.

I'm just gonna chill out in the van, put a dent in these.

CDs? Really, Jack?

Mm-hmm.

You know they invented iTunes, right?

Yeah, but everybody knows CDs sound better.

Well, people only say that about vinyl because...

Look it up. It's proven.

You know what, forget it. I give up.

Okay.

So... this is where Prior's supposed to meet her contact.

So until she shows, I say we sit back, relax, and enjoy my man Willie.

(scoffs)

("On the Road Again" playing)

Yeah, there it is.

Want me to turn it up?

♪ On the road again ♪
♪ I just can't wait to get on the road again... ♪

(blowing)

I don't remember James Bond ever doing that.

Okay, Surveillance 101: if the other team spots you, game over.

You want to assess your surroundings while blending in.

Assess and blend. Got it.

Did Jack teach you all this stuff?

MacGyver: Yeah, some.

The rest I learned from Thornton.

She may have been a traitor, but she was a hell of a spy.

Always had every angle covered, always thinking ten steps ahead.

Riley: So, I was on, what, my fifth op before you guys started training me?

Yeah, but you were on your seventh till you actually started to listen.

(both laugh)

Look, the thing with Bozer is...

Jack is to Mac as Mac is to Bozer.

Did you just make an analogy?

I don't know. Did I? Look, all I'm saying is... that Mac feels responsible for Bozer's safety; he's been doing everything he could to shield him from this world, and now he's out here in the thick of it.

Mac may seem like he's cool with Bozer being out here, but I think he's quietly freaking out on the inside, you know what I mean?

(beeping)

Hey, Mac, I got a match on Prior at your three o'clock... blue sweater and pearls.

Bozer: Hey... I know I'm new to this, but even I can see that that woman is acting 50 shades of shady.

Yeah.

Shady doesn't hold up in court though.

Matty needs video of Prior handing the codes to her contact.

Jack: Well, I'll tell you one thing, she may be a traitor, but she's no pro.

She looks as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Bozer: She's checking the time on her phone, which means she's expecting her contact any second now, right?

Jack: Boom. The kid's a natural. Now the hard part.

Can you I.D. her contact?

It could be anybody in the square.

Or it could just be someone on her phone.

Looks like the CIA intel wasn't exactly 100% accurate.

Riley: Looks like Prior's as surprised as we are.

Prior: What? No.

We didn't agree...

Jack: We got to hear the other end of that phone call, right?

Just-just boopidy-boop it.

Riley: Boopidy-boop on a landline takes hours to set up, Jack.

I can't.

Yeah. If you're doing it digitally.

Can I help you?

How much for this?

20 Euros.

20 Euros?

Thanks, man.

Thank you.

But spies have been tapping phones... for a lot longer than computers.

♪ ♪

Man: It's in the red planter box.

Clock's ticking, so move fast.

(line beeps)

Wait, did you guys hear that?

Jack: Yeah. Clock's ticking?

Bozer: What's in there? Her payoff?

Riley: Not unless she's getting paid in gold bars.

That thing looks really full.

MacGyver: That's not a gold bars look.

That's the look I used to see in Iraq, on the faces of women who were pressured into carrying IEDs.

Bozer: She's here to set off a b*mb?

Yeah, well, mission just changed.

Stay here. Do not leave this spot.

♪ ♪

Jack: I got Prior, Mac.

You just keep that bag from going boom-boom.

Jack, forget Prior. I got to get this b*mb out of the square before everyone dies. Give me a ride, now.

(tires screeching)

Riley, I need you to find me the least populated area within a minute of here.

Yeah, I'm on it.

Bozer, I thought I told you...

I'm part of the team!

And you don't have time to argue.

(tires screeching)

(horn honking)

Man, this thing is all booby-trapped.

It's like someone knew someone like me was gonna try and disarm it.

I-I don't have time to stop it.

Felt pretty heroic at first, but... now I regret jumping in the van.

Ugh!

We're in the middle of a business district.

There really isn't a least-populated area.

Mac, how much room do you need for the blast?

Uh, okay, I'm looking at, uh, a pound and a half of NP10.

Let's say two pounds to be safe, so... pressure wave velocity of 1,030 feet per second.

Jack: Yeah, I don't understand a word you're saying, so you just let me know when to turn, okay?

MacGyver: At the current external temperature, I'd say air density is... approximately 1.27 kilograms per meter cubed...

Yeah, uh, Mac, I don't want to interrupt, but there's an alleyway coming up here on the right.

MacGyver: Factor the shockwave into the Hopkinson-Cranz Scaling Law and the minimum safe distance becomes...

Mac! Alley?!

Will that work?

No! 200 feet!

I need a space that's 200 feet wide!

Got it! Next left. Wide street closed for repaving... should be empty.

(tires screeching)

(Bozer gasping)

Okay, everybody out, now!

Keep running! Don't stop!

Bozer: Did we do it?

I think we did it.

Nobody got hurt.

Yeah, no body got hurt, but the blast cracked my rig.

The only proof Prior's a t*rror1st is gone.

(sirens approaching) Hey, uh...

I don't think they're coming to thank us for saving their lives.

MacGyver: Pretty sure they think we just set off a b*mb in their capital.

Riley: Wait, so now they think we're the t*rrorists?

Yeah, it looks like it.

(shouting in Dutch)

You guys got a plan, though, right?

Yeah. Run.

(sirens wailing in distance)

Remind me again why we don't just grab a cop and tell them the truth?

I mean, we're not t*rrorists, we're secret agents from the U.S.

Operating in a foreign country without permission.

Yeah, but this country's our ally.

And you don't spy on your allies.

So even if we could convince the cops that we're not t*rrorists, we're still here illegally, so we'd still go to jail.

Hey, Boze, I know you didn't sign up for this, but don't panic.

Pretty sure we're gonna get out of this just fine.

"Pretty sure"?

Yeah, Bozer, relax, baby, relax.

(ringtone playing)

Yeah, Dalton: 7652. Longhorn.

I'm looking at an expl*si*n in Amsterdam.

Tell me it wasn't you.

Jack: No, no, everything's fine. The mission's fine.

We got proof that Prior was working with the t*rrorists.

There was just, uh... there was a little b*mb in her purse that kind of exploded, destroying said proof and a bunch of buildings around it, and everybody thinks that we did it.

That's a long way from "fine," Jack.

You're about to be in the middle of a very serious international incident.

I'm enacting emergency protocol.

Sending exfil coordinates now.

MacGyver: On the bright side, we did confirm that Prior's a traitor, and I don't think that anyone got a good look at us.

Oh, I'd say they got a very good look at you.

Dutch Intelligence just launched a nationwide search for four suspects matching your descriptions.

You know what will happen if you get caught operating on Dutch soil.

And that's bad, right?

Very.

So get to exfil. Fast.

(urgent chatter)

Now, I need to know who they are, who they're working for, how they got into the country, and I need to know it yesterday.

No match in our system or Interpol's.

Then search for their faces across the city's surveillance network.

(computer trilling)

Got them.

Where are they?

Suspects just entered Zuiveringshal Park from the south.

Sounds like they're everywhere.

Yeah, that's 'cause they are.

(siren wailing in distance)

Stay close and keep your head down.

Don't we have, like, a... a Phoenix safe house, somewhere to duck into?

Those things take weeks to set up.

This was supposed to be a one-day observe-and-report.

(sirens approaching)

Away...

Okay.

How'd they find us so fast?

Street cams.

I was hoping there wasn't gonna be as many in the park.

Shh, shh.

(speaking Dutch)

(grunting)

Jack! Jack, easy. He's out.

He's out.

Oh, sorry there, Frenchy.

You're gonna wake up with a headache.

He's Dutch.

Yeah, whatever. Where's his radio?

(Dutch chatter over radio)

You were right. Dutch Intelligence is using the video cameras to track our every move.

When'd you learn to speak Dutch?

Uh, it's classified.

Let's boogie.

Man (over radio): We searched the whole park. They're not here.

Sir?

You found them?

Not their current location, but I found footage of them entering the country this morning.

It's a private airport in Schiphol.

Wolff: That's good work.

I need a backstopped cover for our exfil pilot and his helicopter.

Doesn't have to hold up forever.

Just long enough to get Mac's team through Dutch and German airspace.

Ma'am? I have the U.S. national security advisor on the line for you.

Okay, transfer it to my phone.

Sorry, it's not a phone call.

Dutch Intelligence claims four Americans detonated a car b*mb two hours ago in Amsterdam.

I've reviewed the identities of the suspects, and they have all the earmarks of U.S. operatives.

But... before I ask if they belong to any of you, let me remind you... that it's only a matter of time before they're apprehended.

And if an operative is caught spying on one of our allies, the consequences to your agency would be severe.

So, now... would anybody like to claim these people as agents?

The CIA has no affiliation with these four.

The DIA has no affiliation, ma'am.

The NSA has no affiliation.

All right, exfil's just around the corner.

Where? I don't see the chopper, so unless we're leaving in Wonder Woman's jet, we're in the wrong spot.

No.

No, we're right on top of the coordinates Matty sent.

So, maybe our pilot's just late?

Not likely. Our pilots know if they're late, agents die.

(high-pitched electronic squeal)

(gasping)

What the hell was that?

That would be our comms going dead.

Yeah, Dalton: 7652. Longhorn.

(line beeping)

No code-in, no comms, no exfil?

We've been disavowed.

Disavowed?

Is that as bad as it sounds?

So, on a scale from one to Cairo...

Jack: It's off the charts.

Bozer, Phoenix has completely abandoned us here.

Matty severed all ties.

So we're on our own in a country where everyone thinks we're t*rrorists?

And no one's coming to get us out?

Exactly.

I can't believe Matty left us to be captured, thrown in prison.

Phoenix has 44 more agents around the world undercover.

If they claimed us, it would have put their lives in danger and exposed the agency.

Matty had to disavow us. It's protocol.

And what's protocol for getting us re-avowed?

I don't know. This has never happened to me before.

Yeah, me, neither. I knew a guy from The Farm who got disavowed.

He ended up doing four years in a Chinese prison and still didn't get to go home.

Ended up living in Shenzhen, working as one of them dudes who stands in line for people.

Is that even a real job?

In Shenzhen, it is.

So there's a chance that we could never go home?

Well, what are we supposed to do?

Well, right now get off the street.

Then we can worry about what happens next.

Oh, you know what? Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I think I know somebody who can help us out. Come on.

(knocks)

Hey, honey. How you do...

(curses in French)

Oh. Eight years ago, I was here with the CIA on an undercover op...

Jena was part of my cover...

(both moaning)

(speaking French)

(shouting)

I know, I-I know. Honey, I know.

I hear you, and I'll explain everything.

Okay, can we go inside and-and talk, just... for a second?

You speak Dutch and you speak French?

Neither. I'm fluent in supermodel.

Who are your friends?

Bozer. Really cool. He's the gaffer.

Uh, Riley's the stylist.

And twisted steel and sex appeal, that's the model, old blue eyes right there, Mac.

If we could just come in and catch up, for a minute, please?

You look great.

(quietly): Hey, listen, listen.

I'm a fashion photographer from Miami, you guys are my team, I hate oysters, and my name is Bryce Villanova. You got it?

After you, Bryce.

(sighs)
(speaking French)

I-I don't know. I just went out for breakfast one morning, and I kind of kept walking.

(speaking French)

Because I was getting scared about how I felt about you, Jen.

You know how I feel about you, babe.

(exhales)

I know we've been cut off by our own government and the whole world thinks we're t*rrorists, but... this is amazing.

Yeah.

(Jack and Jenaveev continue arguing)

How you holding up?

Mm. I think it just hasn't hit me yet.

It's hitting Bozer pretty hard, though.

MacGyver: If they knew we were here, they'd be up here already.

I feel like an idiot.

I just wanted a taste of being a hero.

But this, this isn't like the movies.

No.

But it's a good thing.

Why is that?

Well, in a movie, the ending's already written.

In real life, if you just stay calm... think... you can find a way out of anything.

At least that's... the way it's always worked before.

Okay, I think I smoothed things out with Jenaveev.

(shouting in French)

Well, you know, for the most part, anyway.

I don't blame the woman, Jack.

Hey, look, I know I should've told her I was an international spy years ago, but what do you want me to do, put her life in jeopardy?

So instead, you lie to her, sleep with her, and then leave the moment your assignment is over?

You want change for that two cents' worth?

(chuckles)

Yeah, what are you laughing at?

Well, she's right.

What happened happened.

Okay? I don't see anybody throwing a moral compass at James Bond.

Just 'cause I go out and I lasso a golden unicorn on assignment, all of a sudden I'm the Evil George Clooney?

Clooney's married.

To a brilliant attorney.

Yeah, well, he hopped on a lot of lily pads before he settled on that one.

Now, look, my past is the past.

All right?

What's our next move?

I think we have to run.

Our prints are all over that van, and the only proof we didn't do this is gone.

You just want to give up and go?

Better than prison... especially Dutch prison.

20 to life eating pickled herring? No, thank you.

Pickled herring is gnarly.

Besides, the whole country already thinks we're t*rrorists; let's just bounce.

(Prior speaking Dutch over TV)

Not the entire country.

We just need Olivia Prior to admit that she did this and not us.

Riley: How? Without Phoenix's help, even running a phone tap is risky.

Well, then we'll just have to meet Olivia Prior in person.

Oh, yeah, that sounds way less risky.

She's a member of parliament, Mac.

How we gonna get anywhere near her without those cameras seeing us?

Then we'll just have to make sure the cameras don't see our faces.

Hold still.

So, what do you say, Bryce?

Think that golden unicorn held onto any of your old gear?

Who's Bryce?

What?

All right.

Hey. Find that camera gear.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

♪ ♪

So, humans can only see visible light, but cameras can see visible and infrared.

That's why they can boost images in low light and at night.

So, with some of these LEDs from these TV remotes hidden inside of some of Jenaveev's many sunglasses, the Dutch should be seeing stars. How do I look?

(chuckles)

Oh, yeah, you're in business.

Nice.

Okay, well, that fools facial recognition, but how long before someone watching the feed notices four people walking around with halos for faces?

Not long. That's why we have to move quick.

Yeah, these don't quite have the sleek lines I prefer in my eyewear, but... I can make 'em work.

I'm not going, am I?

This could get real bad real fast.

Matty would've never sent you on this mission if she knew it would turn out like this.

But I'm here now, all right?

I mean, what if it does go bad fast?

What if y'all leave me here and don't come back?

Then at least you'll still be alive.

Promise me you'll listen to me this time and just stay here and safe.

Yeah, okay.

I promise.

Thank you.

Well, it looks like your little glasses are doing their thing, Sizzlean.

Jack: No alerts.

All quiet on the Western Front.

Yeah, well, Western Front's actually about 250 miles from here, but...

What?

(sighs) Yeah, I guess it's not really time for a geography lesson, is it?

No, not really.

Need to send Riley the all-clear.

All right, Olivia, here's hoping you're not running late today.

So, disavowed, huh?

Yeah.

Not my favorite.

And I know this gig doesn't last forever, but I always thought I'd get sh*t or hit by a m*ssile or fall into a nuclear reactor... some real blaze-of-glory stuff, you know?

But having my career end like this, it's... well, it's kind of embarrassing.

It's embarrassing and it's temporary.

We'll fix this.

What if we can't?

We've been through worse.

Mm?

Riley's been taking care of herself since she was 16; it's Bozer I'm worried about.

If anything happens to him, I can't forgive myself.

No. Now, hey, I'm sure he's hanging in.

Jack: She wouldn't have sent him in if he couldn't handle himself, you know that.

MacGyver: She hasn't known Bozer as long as I have.

Hey. You can't look at this with old eyes.

Okay? He's been through a lot in the last few months.

He's not the same old Bozer; he's a new Bozer.

He might surprise you. Hell, he might just surprise all of us.

(chuckles)

It's really hard to take you seriously with those glasses on.

(chuckles): Is it? Well, do your best.

That's the signal. Left shoe.

MacGyver: Prior's on her way.

Here. Put it there.

All right, here she comes, here she comes.

(groans)

(tires screech, horn honks)

Prior: Stop it!

(sighs)

Hello, Olivia.

Nice to see you again.

Let's take a ride.

Jack: We were there, Olivia. We saw you.

Just admit you were in on the att*ck.

Olivia: I didn't know there was a b*mb there, not until I got there.

I swear.

Drop the act, Olivia.

The CIA already knows you've been working with t*rrorists.

t*rrorists? No.

I would never.

I only went there because of the photos.

What photos?

A few weeks ago... (sighs) someone sent me photos of me with another man.

You need to understand, I love my husband...

Jack: An affair? Huh?

That's what you're gonna tell us?

That's what got you blackmailed by t*rrorists?

It is the truth.

They were gonna post the photos online if I wouldn't do exactly what they told me.

Here.

They told me to go to the cafe. I went.

I thought they were going to ask me for money.

I thought they were going to tell me to vote against the upcoming referendum. I...

Riley: Okay, so if that's why she went to the cafe, then everything Matty told us, all the CIA intel, was wrong.

Okay.

I've seen the pictures, I want to believe you, but you need to go back and explain everything exactly how it happened.

A waiter... gave me the phone, and there was a man on the phone, and he told me, get the purse from the planter box, carry it down the street, and then when I see someone follow me, drop it and run.

Wait a second, when someone follows you?

Yes.

So the man on the phone knew that we were going to be there.

I think I know why the CIA intel was bad.

Why?

We were set up.

Jack: Hang on, now. That would... that would have to mean somebody manipulated the CIA and gift-wrapped this mission for us.

Who could do something like that?

When the man first contacted you about the photos...

Prior: No. No.

The first call wasn't from the man.

The first call was from the woman.

She called herself Pop.

Riley: Pop?

Mm-hmm.

Riley: As in "Snap, Crackle, Pop," Rice Krispies, or...?

I don't think she was referring to the cereal.

Pop is Dutch word.

And in English, it means "chrysalis."

Chrysalis?

Mm-hmm.

Jack: You sure?

Positive.

Patricia Thornton.

Who is she?

Up until a couple of months ago, when she was arrested for treason... our boss.

We'll be in the next room if you need anything, okay?

Jack: She's not my girlfriend.

She's just a member of parliament that we kidnapped.

If you don't believe me, go ask her.

Maybe I will.

Okay.

Olivia has agreed to stay put until we figure out what to do with her.

Any luck confirming her story?

Riley: Yes and no.

The blackmail photos were sent from an untraceable e-mail.

But the encryption key does match the one Thornton used while selling state secrets as Chrysalis.

Bozer: So even though we know Thornton set us up, we can't prove it.

Jack: She must have put all this in place months ago as a contingency plan; that way, if we start talking, she drops all that fake intel on Olivia.

Next thing you know, we're all k*lled in a b*mb blast.

It was just luck we outed her before she could do it.

Yeah, but by then, revenge is as easy as a phone call from prison.

She had us checkmated before we even left for Amsterdam.

(door closes)

Every file with intel on MacGyver, Jack, Riley and Bozer has been destroyed, plus the backups.

So the only digital proof tying them to Phoenix is on my tablet.

Then you should delete those files fast.

Dutch Intelligence just discovered that they made a call after the bombing.

They're trying to piece together fragments of the call, which included a woman's voice.

You mean my voice.

Yes, ma'am.

And if they can reconstruct that call, it could lead right back to us.

Andie, unless you'd like to be an accessory to violating the Espionage Act, I suggest you leave.

Now.

(phone beeps)

Do you recognize my voice?

Good. Then you remember I saved your ass in Myanmar.

Time to return the favor.

Jack: I got it. Why don't we just track the source of the CIA's intel, leak that right back to Thornton.

Yeah, that sounds great, Jack, but we need Phoenix's support for every single bit of it.

I say we march Olivia into a police station and make her tell her story.

Only problem with that is no one's gonna believe her without any hard evidence.

It's for you, Mac.

Aw! They're gone.

(sighs)

Bozer: How could somebody know where to find us?

Wait, wait, wait.

This might be another "gift" from Thornton.

Looks like a note.

"7652. Longhorn.

"Sorry I can't do more, but you can help yourselves."

That's my code-in.

Matty must have sent that.

Yeah.

Riley: It's a dossier on the deputy director of Dutch Intelligence, Harlan Wolff, blueprints of the building where he works, and the details of their domestic surveillance program.

Why would Matty send us info on the people hunting us?

Probably trying to get us out of the country.

Besides, it's always good to know who you're running from.

"You can help yourselves."

If Matty risked her entire career sending this, then it's got to do more than just help us turn tail and run.

Riley: Hold on.

According to these memos, Dutch Intelligence records all domestic calls, archives all CCTV video, and scoops up every bit of data transmitted within the country to...

Okay, you're getting the same look in your eye that he gets when you're about to say...

I know how to clear our names.

Yeah, something like that.

Back at the cafe, I was disguising the signals of our comms and wireless cameras as normal cell traffic routed through towers of a local Dutch telecom.

Okay, now you're just using big words that nobody else understands, like he does.

Riley: That video we lost...

I was routing it through local cell towers.

Matty just told us Intel saves all cellular data.

So, if we can get you into Dutch Intelligence HQ, then...

I might be able to reconstruct the video that clears our names.

Yes.

Jack: Yeah, I love the enthusiasm, but you're forgetting we're fugitives here talking about breaking into a building full of spies who are looking for us.

The last time I checked, the only one that's cool wearing his sunglasses inside is Jack Nicholson.

(sighs) You're right.

Can't walk in there wearing these faces.

But luckily, we have a friend who can help us make new ones.

Bozer.

Can you make good enough prosthetics to fool the facial recognition and get us into that building?

Oh, I-I don't know, Mac.

They'd have to be good.

Like, really good. Like, maybe my best work.

Not maybe... they would have to be your best work.

We'd all have to be on our A-games.

We're not Phoenix agents anymore, so no one's giving orders.

We'll all have to be on board.

I'm in.

Yeah, whatever.

Bozer: Hold on.

Let me make sure I fully understand our options.

Option one... flee Amsterdam and most likely run for the rest of our lives.

Or... option two... you all put your trust in me... and we may end up in jail today.

Okay.

Let's do this.

Testing one, two. Hey, Mac, it's your pal Jack here.

But I guess you already knew that.

Hold on, let me start again. Okay, if you're listening to this, you've made it past security, so...

(computer beeping)

Okay.

Now we'll just need some gelatin blocks, liquid latex and plasteline.

We can't get any of those things, remember? No Phoenix.

Well, how am I supposed to do what I do without the stuff that I do it with?

We'll just have to...

... improvise.

Improvise.

♪ ♪

This stuff won't hold up like my normal work.

Y'all are gonna have to move quick.

Well, it wouldn't be a mission if we weren't on an impossible timeline.

Man, I don't know how you do it.

Is the field always this...

Crazy?

Yeah.

Always.

On my worst days, I've nearly d*ed alone.

On my best days, I've saved hundreds of lives, and no one even knew I was there.

It's just the job.

Before this, all I wanted was to go on a real mission.

Now... I'd do anything to be back at the Phoenix talking to that damn robot.

Some people are meant for this job.

Most aren't.

If this plan works... that's for you to decide for yourself.

(sighs): All right.

Let's glue some processed food to your face.

All right.

Okay. How about that?

(door buzzes)

Okay.

I.D. badges worked like a charm.

Now time for the real test.

No alarms, no guards... yay, Bozer.

Jack: Testing one, two.

Hey, Mac, it's your pal Jack here.

But I guess you already knew that.

Hold on, let me start again. Okay, if you're listening to this, you've made it past security, so you're gonna hang a louie at the end of this hallway.

And since we don't dare transmit signals into the freaky-deaky Dutch HQ, I made you this Jack-on-tape to help you find your way.

All you got to do is follow my instructions based on the blueprints Matty sent, and hopefully you won't get caught or, you know, sh*t to death or...

No, no, no, wait a minute.

That sounded bad. I'm gonna start over again.

Okay, take three.

(lock clicks)

(sighs)

That was good timing.

Jack was about to start narrating Willie Nelson's CD jacket as a surprise bonus track.

Now let's just hope Dutch Intelligence's data mining scooped up the video we need.

So radio silence from here on out?

Yeah. Yeah, as long as the radio's quiet, everything's fine.

Wait, wait. Don't wipe your face.

Sorry, but you're gonna wipe a piece of it off.

Bozer said time would be a factor... I just, I thought we had more of it.

Guess he wasn't counting on how much heat these servers put out.

Once our faces melt off, they're gonna know we're here.

How much time do you need?

Best guess, ten minutes.

I don't think we have that long.

♪ ♪

Longhorn.

Blackhat needs more time. It's about to get ugly.

Get the scientist to safety. Over.

Copy that. Let's go.

Scientist? What's he talking about?

Scientists work in a lab, Bozer. He's talking about you.

He wants me to get you out of the country right now. Let's go.

Man, whatever, man. I got them into that building, I'm getting them out.

Scientist will buy blackhat time.

Wh-What... what are you gonna do?

Improvise.

Boze... Bozer!

No, what-what's he doing? Hello?

Hey! Wolffie!

You looking for me?!

(alarm beeping)

I want every cop in Amsterdam at that location now!

Sir, according to this, he's in our lobby.

Hey, uh... who is that handsome devil on screen right there?

Is that a young Bruce Willis with hair?

Who wants an autograph?

You?

(men speaking Dutch)

All right. All right, all right.

I'll give you a free one. Take it.

Hey, guys? This way.

(men shouting in Dutch)

What's up, Mac?

Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you guys, I like to...

(grunting)

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack!

Whoo!

(grunts)

(gasping)

I distinctly remember building a radio and telling you two to get out of the country.

Yeah, well, we discussed your idea, and Bozer decided this would be a better plan.

I had to make a move, man.

Does this seem like a better plan?

No. Yes.

Yeah. No.

I guess now it's all up to...

Riley (over p.a.): Attention, Director Harlan Wolff.

This next jam's for you.

MacGyver: Forget Prior, Jack.

I got to get this b*mb out of this square before everyone dies.

Give me a ride. Now.

♪ ♪
♪ Want you to know ♪
♪ We're going home ♪
♪ Home... ♪
♪ Home... ♪
♪ We're going home ♪
♪ Home... ♪
♪ We're going home ♪
♪ Home... ♪
♪ We're going home ♪
♪ Home... ♪
♪ We're going home ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Home... ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ We're going home... ♪
♪ ♪

Matty: Didn't I disavow you people?

Jack: Oh, come on, now. You can't get rid of us that easy.

We got your message.

Thank you.

Couldn't have done it without you.

Yeah, well, I just got off the phone with your new friend Harlan Wolff.

After the four of you were cleared, he found this.

The man who left the b*mb for Olivia Prior was an operative working for The Organization.

Dutch Intelligence apprehended him this morning, and he confessed to working for Thornton.

So, I gave him the intel he needed to add the bombing to Thornton's charges in exchange for sweeping our involvement under the rug.

So it's really over?

Yes.

It's really over.

But...

I would avoid going to Amsterdam for a little while.

Oh, no, man, I did it again.

What?

Jenaveev... I told her we were going to buy groceries, and I-I just left the country, forever.

Well, it's probably for the best if she never sees Bryce Villanova again, Jack.

Just saying.

Oh, no.

No, don't call her... you're gonna make it worse.

Jack, don't call her.

Hey, man... you did a good job.

I'm proud of you.

And I'm looking forward to the next time you're in the field with us.

If you decide there is a next time.

Thanks, Mac.

Man, am I glad to see you!

Robot: Your affection is without context.

(sighs)

It's just a bro hug.

Remember when I said this job was boring?

Well, it's not... and for the time being, this is all the excitement I want.

So fieldwork is no longer the primary goal?

Oh, it's still a goal, but from now on, the primary goal is staying alive.

Which means right here with you is exactly where I want to be.

Boo-yah.
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