01x11 - Handyman

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Kim's Convenience". Aired October 2016 - current.*
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"Kim's Convenience" is the funny, heartfelt story of The Kims, a Korean-Canadian family, running a convenience store in Toronto's Regent Park.
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01x11 - Handyman

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, Mr. Kim.

Roger. Oh!

I think your niece will like this.

Free of charge.

Thanks.

(CHUCKLES)

Very nice of you to remember that.

You is welcome.

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

Reshma: Morning, Mr. Kim.

Oh, good morning, Reshma.

Naya: Hi, Mr. Kim.

Hello, Naya.

How do you know that?

Know what?

Well I don't want to sound...

You know, but...

With the...

Reshma always look at the bell when she open the door.

Naya always nod head when she say hello.

Reshma like mascara.

Naya like eyeliner.

It's not hard.

Just have to care for customer.

Well, it's impressive.

Oh, and you're out of sea salt.

Oh, just in the back. I get for you.

Thank you.

Hi.

Reshma: Just to let you know, he gets it wrong about 50% of the time.

Naya: But he tries.

(APPA LAUGHING)

You find everything you want, Reshma?

Naya: Yes Mr. Kim, thank you.

Hmm.

Have to know.

Yeah.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Hello.

Wow.

You look exactly like your Oh Mo Nim.

Excuse me?

Sorry, Edwin Carter.

Hi.

Are you a friend of my mom's?

From a long time ago, in the land of the morning calm.

Uh, Korea.

Oh, okay.

I'm Janet, her daughter.

Nice to meet you, Janet.

Is your mother around?

My parents are actually at the wholesaler's, but they'll be back 45 minutes ago.

So I have no idea.

Can I take a message?

Just tell her that Choom Choo nun Gom is in town for a couple of days, and would love to get together.

Who's in town?

The Dancing Bear.

She'll get it. (CHUCKLES)

Will she be back by 4:00?

Should be. I'll let her know.

Okay.

Thanks, Janet.

(TOILET GURGLING)

(HANDLE RATTLING)

Hey, how come the toilet's not flushing?

Because I fixed it?

You fixed it, so now it's not flushing?

No, I fixed it from spraying all over the place.

Why was it doing that?

Because I broke it.

And then I turned the water off. And that fixed it.

So now, you can't use the toilet.

No, you can use it. You just can't flush it.

Or you can use the bucket to flush it down.

What bucket?

I guess we need a bucket. (CHUCKLES)

I'm going to work.

No, you're the fix-it guy.

Call the landlord.

Come on, he's worse than me.

And he always wants to wrestle.

So call Janet.

She'll give you my Appa's tools, and then, you can fix it yourself.

Dude, I almost drowned fixing it the first time.

Good luck.

Enjoy your fancy work toilet.

I will.

Traffic in this city is worst in whole world!

Hey, guys.

Hi, Janet.

Construction make whole street like a parking lot.

I should just give worker ten dollar, and say, "I'll be back for my car in two hour!" Aeeshcham.

Oh, Umma, a guy came in to see you. Edwin?

Choom-choo?

Dancing Bear was here?

Seriously?

He was here today?

Yeah, he said he'd pop by later.

Don't tell Appa.

Why not?

No reason.

Appa don't like Edwin.

Why not?

No reason.

Long time ago story.

Problem is, they keep building condo downtown.

But who can afford, huh?

Last time I check, no millionaire refugee. (SCOFFS)

Stupid.

Okay Janet, come upstairs with me, finish telling me funny story.

Janet: I think you were going to tell me a funny story.

Stop.

I like funny story.

Oh, this is a funny story for lady.

Okay, go.

It's no big deal.

I knew him when I was a dancer.

When were you a dancer?

Before I met Appa.

Edwin and me win dance competition.

At US Army base in Korea.

Why were you at a US Army base?

Edwin was colonel and and I was a teacher at the school there.

Okay, you're kind of blowing my mind right now.

You were a teacher and a dancer.

Dancing just for fun.

Teaching for money. Also sell hats.

So many pretty hat.

But not much money in selling hat.

Okay, I'm less interested in the hats.

Did you and Edwin date?

No, no. Just dancing.

But sometime, we go eat, maybe movie.

Oh, my God, Edwin is an old boyfriend.

Shh!

Does Appa know you dated Edwin?

Yeah, he know Edwin.

Not what I asked, Umma.

Hey, Ajushee. It's me, Kimchee.

Hey Kimchee, it's me, Ajushee.

Is, ah, Janet around?

You see her?

No, it's just that she said I could borrow some tools.

My tools. If you borrow, I never get back.

No, no, no, we've borrowed them before.

You always get them back.

Who is "we"?

Kimchee: Me and my roommate.

You roommate?

Yeah, uh, he's just a guy... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) ...that I live with.

My roommate.

I know this roommate?

Uh, you tell me.

No, you tell me.

No, you tell me.

No, you tell me.

Okay, I feel like this can go on for a long time.

My roommate's at work, and I need to borrow your tools to fix my toilet.

And, can I please use your toilet?

Okay, I come help.

No, no, Ajushee, I got this.

You want the fix? I help fix.

(GROANING) Okay...

Good.

I go get the tool belt.

This is exciting. I've never actually played golf.

Well, technically you still haven't.

Just press that key right over there.

Got it. What's the flag doing?

Oh, that's the wind direction.

So, to swing, you just tap control-S, like this.

Was that a good one?

(CHEERING PLAYS)

Listen to the crowd.

Oh, oh, oh, you're on the green.

I'm good at this.

(MOBILE PHONE BUZZES)

It's Kimchee. I should probably call him back.

There's a very slim chance that it's actually important.

Sure. I've got to get back to this anyway.

I mean, not golf, but the payroll.

People gots to get paid. (CHUCKLES)

I guess I'll see you Monday?

Not if I see you first.

Actually, I will see you first.

I'm here before everybody.

The early bird. Worm.

You know what would be helpful, is if sometimes, you just told me to stop talking.

I mean nicely, but that would be helpful.

I'm still talking. See, this would be a perfect time for you to say it.

Stop talking?

We'll work on it on Monday.

Jung: You were supposed to borrow the tools, not my dad.

You know him. He's unstoppable.

He's like the Terminator with slippers.

And he's on his way up, so deal with it.

But I was about to come home.

Well, nobody's stopping you.

Yeah, not how I wanted to spend my Saturday.

Well, none of this would have happened if you had fixed the toilet.

Or, if you hadn't broken it.

Or if some guy hadn't invented toilets.

How far back are we taking this blame game?

Just call me when he's gone.
(SIGHS)

(HUFFS)

Lots of stair.

Yeah.

Did you find a good place to park?

Yeah. Almost back at the store.

So...

This is where you live?

With your roommate?

Yup.

The bathroom's back here.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, it does that.

Oh, hi, Janet.

Umma! You look...

Wow.

What? Just ordinary, everyday me.

(SCOFFS)

Is this for Edwin?

No, no.

Just, I look in mirror, and I think, "You can do better."

Umma...

Edwin is old friend.

Haven't seen in 30 years.

Wouldn't you want to look nice?

You look more than nice.

Janet, you probably don't believe, but when I was your age, men would fight over me.

I'm sure they were breaking down the door.

No, door was open, but they knock over table full of food.

This actually happened?

Yeah.

Yeah. I was dancing with Edwin, and your Appa explode in. So jealous.

Appa fought Edwin over you?

You never see Appa so angry.

Poor Edwin.

He spent so much money on ring.

After fight, they never find ring.

Edwin proposed?

No, not enough I think. I go fix.

I thought you said you'd done this before, Ajushee.

Yeah, Yeah. Just check YouTube.

Okay, yeah. They doing like how I do.

Okay. Next, take slip joint plier.

These?

Yeah.

Plier with slip joint.

Okay. Near base of overflow tube, turn clockwise.

(GRUNTS)

Are you sure we shouldn't be going counter-clockwise?

Sometimes stuck.

Twist harder.

(GROANING)

(BOTH YELLING)

You turn wrong way!

I did the way you told me to!

I say clockwise.

I did it clockwise!

Aeeshcham!

(SIGHS) Now we have to replace ballcock.

(SNICKERING QUIETLY)

What?

What's so funny? Ballcock is broken.

Ballcock? The word. It's funny.

(EXCLAIMING) Hey!

Hey!

That's funny. Hmm?

Stop it!

(LAUGHING)

Ballcock.

Shannon: (ON SPEAKER) Give it up for our opening act, Destiny's Child.

And now, all the way from Tatamagouche, Nova Scotia, Miss Shannon Ross!

(IMITATES CROWD CHEERING)

Thanks guys, that means a lot.

I'm going to kick tonight off with a new song.

It's called, Crushin' It.

♪ I'm closing up the store and I'm crushin' it ♪
♪ Finished up the payroll and I'm crushin' it ♪
♪ Probably should go home, I'm not rushin' it ♪
♪ And I'm gonna get some wine, I am lushin' it ♪
♪ Oh, when my hair gets knotty I'm brushin' it ♪
♪ Got me some potatoes, I'm mushin'... ♪

I thought you went home.

No, I was doing some work in the back.

I don't do this very often.

Why don't I believe you?

So Beyonce was here?

You just missed her.

(CHUCKLING)

But, your mommy never wants to remarry?

Nah.

Because he just up and left, she kind of feels like it wasn't...

(SIGHS)

I don't know. We don't talk about him much.

Yeah, sometimes it's better not talking.

Hmm?

Okay.

It's done?

Yeah.

Test.

I don't have to go. Do you?

Just flush.

Oh, sorry.

Kimchee: Hey! It works.

(APPA LAUGHING)

Try this.

Oh. Yeah, I like that.

You're a good handyman, Ajushee.

Ah. You good assistant, Jung.

Um...

Hey!

You want to stick around for a beer or something?

Yeah, okay.

One beer. Then I have to go.

Okay.

Janet: Of course I'm freaking out.

I'm sure it's perfectly innocent.

I mean, she told you all about this guy, right?

Yeah, because she was forced to.

And if it's so innocent, why isn't she telling Appa?

She did say they didn't like each other.

And I haven't even told you the best part.

The guy is white.

Uh. I don't really know how to respond to that.

"Cool Christian Korean boy."

That's all I've heard, my entire life.

And she was engaged to a white guy.

You must be wondering what else you don't know about her.

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

(WHISPERING) Oh. Well, now I am.

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

Hello again, Janet.

Hi. Edwin Carter.

Gerald. Charmed.

Is your mother back yet?

She's upstairs.

Wonderful. I can't wait to see her.

Yeah, I bet you can't. I see you brought chocolates.

Yes. Your mother always used to like Cho-co-let-tu.

Well, it's been 30 years. Things have changed.

So, she doesn't like Cho-co-let-tu any more?

No, she does.

But stop trying to pronounce chocolate like you're all, "This is how I pronounce Cho-co-let-tu."

I'm sorry, is there a problem?

No.

Actually, yeah.

You're the problem.

You come back here after all these years, rich and handsome...

I never said I was rich.

But you are, right?

Oh, yeah.

And you think you can just waltz back into my mom's life, and pick up where you left off.

You're lucky my Appa's not here.

He'd kick your ass. Again.

I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding.

First of all, when your Ah Bu Nim att*cked me,

I was down on one knee, so my balance was off.

I feel you. I've got this inner-ear thing.

It's why I'm always leaning a little to the left.

Also, I was hoping that your parents, both of them, would come out to dinner with me and my wife.

You're married?

Yes.

What did you think was happening here?

Shannon: Let's play this out.

Your dad's in your apartment, and you walk in.

What's the absolute worst thing that can happen?

Bloodbath.

Bodies on the floor. We lose our damage deposit.

It was a serious question.

He'll yell.

Or, I'll yell, and it'll all just start again.

So go.

Or don't go.

That's my advice.

That's helpful.

I'm very wise.

Mmm.

And you have excellent taste in cake. Where did you get this?

It's Terence's birthday cake.

I must have missed it. When was his birthday?

It's on Monday.

Ah. Your roommate, he is having girlfriend?

He does all right, but nothing serious.

And I'd know. There's no door on his room.

Mmm.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

Your roommate should have a door.

Kimchee: Yeah.

(SIGHS)

Yeah, I can do. Easy.

Well, time to road-test the new facilities. (SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

Kimchee: Ajushee?

(KEYS CLACKING CLUMSILY)

Kimchee: Ajushee?

(CAMERA CLICKS)


Yeah?

Kimchee: We forgot to fix the doorknob.

I'm so sorry.

I've been processing a lot of new information, and I think it kind of threw me.

I should have been more clear.

But, to be honest, I was excited to see your mother.

(GASPS) Edwin?

Yong-mi.

(BOTH GASPING)

(UMMA SIGHS)

Mmm.

Uh... Little long.

So good to see you.

Yeah.

He's married.

Oh.

Where is you wife?

Myung-sook? She's shopping.

He's rich.

We were hoping that maybe you and Sang-il would join us for dinner tonight.

Yeah, yeah. That's nice.

So, you guys were dancers?

Your mother was.

I just stumbled around the floor, trying not to make her look bad.

Oh, Edwin!

(EDWIN CHUCKLES)

We win many trophies.

She won many trophies.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I can't even picture it.

Come.

No.

Janet don't believe.

I'm very rusty.

It's like riding bicycle.

Push this.

Okay.

Oh, my God. I have to show Gerald this.

Shall we dance?

Yes.

(BOTH HUMMING)

(DOOR OPENS)

What's wrong? Keep going. You not so bad.

Somebody tell to me what I'm looking at.

You remember Edwin.

I do now.

What's this?

I heard they danced, and I guess I found it hard to believe, but then they showed me, and then you came in and said, "Somebody tell to me what I'm looking at."

(LAUGHS WEAKLY)

And now, you're up to speed.

Sang-il.

Edwin.

Edwin invite us to dinner tonight with his wife.

Mmm. Good for you.

You finally find somebody who say yes.

(CHUCKLES) You'd like her.

She reminds me a lot of...

Korea.

Maybe we should hold off on the catching up until the next time we're in town?

Yeah. Okay.

Well, I guess I should have anticipated some of this.

Yong-mi.

Janet.

Mr. Kim.

At least this time, Appa don't get arrested by m*llitary police.

Wait. Appa was arrested?

Who are you people?

Your Appa left 20 minutes ago. Don't worry.

You were supposed to call me, man.

Dude, what difference does it make?

I thought you didn't want to see him.

I didn't. That's why I wanted you to call.

To make sure.

Uh-huh.

I didn't know he was coming.

Okay.

Janet just wanted to see us dance.

Yeah.

Janet tell me.

So, you not mad?

When I walk in, see you two dancing, you know what I think?

Divorce?

I think of first night I ever see you.

Was I dancing with Edwin?

I don't know. I only see you.

I like dancing.

I like watching you dance.

You happy when you dancing.

You ever think you make mistake?

Yeah.

I should marry you sooner.

Let's go sometime. Dancing.

Hmm.

Or maybe, we do some dancing here?

(LAUGHING) Oh, Appa...

(LAUGHING)

How did things go at Kimchee's?

Hmm. Good. I fix his toilet.

Did you fix anything else while you were there?

Yeah, knob.

And, by knob, you mean...

Not Kimchee.

We fix actual knob and actual ballcock.

Okay, I'm going to stop talking now.

Janet.

Hmm?

You like ice cream?

You know I do.

We should go to that ice cream place, Amelia's.

Yeah, sure.

Maybe you take a picture of us eating ice cream.

I'd like that.

Me too.
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