01x12 - Appa's Lump

[bunniefuu]

Mr. Kim. It is me, Enrique.

Yah, I know. You don't have to announce.

You've probably noticed, I haven't been in much lately.

No, not really.

I know that is your pride speaking.

But, uh, this thing between us, it must end.

I don't know what you talking.

I've chosen to end my boycott of your store, even though...

Hurtful words have been said on both sides.

I don't remember any words.

On both sides.

So I am here to...

Stop.

What?

Just stop.

That's why I'm here. To stop the feud. (CHUCKLES)

And I need orange juice.

You looking for lots of orange juice.

No, I'm looking for a hug, Mr. Kim.

I want to bury the hatchet.

Yah, I don't think so.

I can wait here all day.

(GRUNTS) No customer allowed behind counter.

Air Enrique coming in for a landing!

(GRUNTS)

Oh, I don't like how that feels.

Why you still doing then?

How long have you had that lump?

"Lump"? Where?

Right... Right here. Does this hurt?

I'll palpate it.

What? No PalPay.

What did you PalPay? I don't like a PalPay.

No, "palpate" it. It means to touch.

Mr. Kim, I'm a nurse.

And in my professional opinion as a nurse, you should see a doctor.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

So, it's the same cereal but it comes in these little individually wrapped, personal portion, little boxes and there's a bunch of them.

Size we have is the size we have.

Oh, okay.

So you don't carry the little boxes?

Yeah.

We hiding ones you wanting unless you know secret password.

Appa! Sorry, we don't have. You still want that one?

No...

I'm okay. Thanks anyway.

Okay, bye-bye.

(DOOR OPENING)

What's your problem today?

(SCOFFS)

Good news.

Oh, good news. What is?

It seems your daughter has been invited to the dean's awards ceremony. 'Cause...

I'm getting the Eleanor Bradshaw Award for Excellence!

Can you believe it?

(GASPS) Oh, that's so good, Janet!

A first-year student has never received it.

You hear, Appa?

Of course, I hear. I'm right here.

So say "congratulate."

I was going to say "congratulate" when you tell me to do what I was going to do.

So do.

I was going to!

What's your problem?

Ah, you, what's your problem?

You always interrupt every time.

I just thought you might want to know, or even come, but maybe you don't want to.

Oh!

So now I not even good enough to come to award?

(SCOFFS) Perfect day just get worse.

Appa!

(THUDS)

What was that?

(CHUCKLES) You know your Appa.

You what's most important. I so proud of you, Janet.

(SNIVELS)

It's just an award, Umma.

You is award.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

I like mayonnaise.

Yeah, but a tuna sandwich is tuna and a little bit of mayonnaise. Look at this.

You've completely gone the other way.

It's how I like it.

How do you eat like this and look like that?

Hey, I need your help.

I've narrowed it down to these two dresses for tonight.

What do you think?

Flowers. Definitely.

I know, right? (CHUCKLES)

(IN BRITISH ACCENT) We're gonna have a blooming good time.

I don't know why I said that.

It's perfect. You'll look great.

Thank you.

Orange you glad I kept the receipt for this one?

Okay. (GIGGLES)

(MIMICS EXPLODING)

Oh, relax.

It's not what you think.

Oh!

So you're not going on a date with our boss?

It's a management symposium. It's work.

Yeah. That was no work dress.

Whatever.

A few weeks ago, you told Shannon your Umma was dying so you wouldn't have to go to a Raptors game with her.

The Raptors!

I gotta go, for the job.

What?

What?

No!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Shannon?

She's actually really nice.

You think you know a guy. Grow up together, share an apartment, wear each other's underwear.

You wear my underwear?

It's a metaphor, but, yeah, I do.

I was wondering why they're always in the laundry.

Don't change the subject.

Stay away from my underwear.

Tell Shannon that.

You know I see TV show last night about a man, perfect healthy, very handsome, and then he, uh...

Find a strange lump on back.

Yes! I saw that very program.

Really?

He was very chubby and he had a lump on his neck the size of a plump melon.

(CHUCKLES) And you saw what happened when they tried to remove it.

He was happy.

He hemorrhaged from the severed blood vessels feeding that bocce-ball sized lump.

Oh, that's a different TV show.

In this one, man not die.

Oh, that is like the other one I saw then.

Again, tumour the size of a baby's head.

But this thing kept growing until the man couldn't walk, couldn't talk.

Couldn't have sex with his wife.

Yeah. I don't think that's the one I talking about.

It's amazing how quickly these things happen.

Remember Mr. Singh?

Monday, we are on the golf course.

Tuesday, he goes to the hospital for a simple procedure.

Friday, we're at his funeral.

The irony was that Mr. Singh broke 80 that day.

The game of his life.

Huh.

Oh, there you are.

Hi. (CHUCKLES)

Hey.

So it was just brought to my attention that, FYI, at the conference, there's a room.

A room?

Yeah.

Because most of the managers are from out of town, they're all getting a room at the hotel.

And apparently, that includes us.

I mean, me. FYI.

That's great. I hear it's a great hotel.

I know, right? I thought about telling them that I don't need a room, I mean, we live here.

I live here.

Oh, no, you should... You should totally keep it.

You never know when you're going to need a room.

In case you get tired or need to iron something.

Exactly. Or, or same for you.

I mean not iron something, but say you had too much to drink.

I'm not saying you have a drinking problem.

I'm actually not even allowed to ask.

I don't.

And I didn't ask.

But if you did have a little too much to drink, you could take the room. (CHUCKLES)

Or you.

Or you could take the room is, is...

...what I'm saying.

Yeah. Of course.

That makes perfect sense.

Okay, back to work.

Yeah.

Oh. Where you coming from?

Why are you reading about lumps?

Who was?

Someone was.

"Suspicious lumps," "irregular lumps,"

"pregnant babes".

Uh, that one just pop up.

What's going on, Appa?

Okay.

You can't tell anyone what I tell you.

What did you tell me?

What I'm going to tell you, now.

What is it?

There is a lump on...

Umma?

Yeah.

That's why you guys were acting weird earlier.

Mmm-hmm.

Is it cancer? Where is it?

No, no.

It's just a small lump on back. Don't worry.

I do lots of reading and most lumps is just no big deal.

Where is she?

Stop! Yeah.

Umma make me promise not to tell.

So?

So, even if probably nothing, your Umma is a very scared.

When was she going to tell me?

After we see doctor. Then you know.

Promise.

(SIGHS)

Janet: Umma?

Oh, Janet, good.

Oh! (CHUCKLES)

Okay, okay. That's enough.

(SIGHS) You okay?

(SIGHS) Yeah, of course.

(CHUCKLES) How are you? Never mind, I know you're fine. Why would I ask that?

I'm good. Just excited about the award.

Yay! If I seem a little weird about anything, that's why.

Yah, is a big deal for whole family. Now come.

Something I want you to have...

To wear.

That's Halmuni's brooch.

She give to me, now I give to you.

I can't take this.

No, you wear this when you get big award.

And when you walk in world all by yourself, you wear this brooch and think of Halmuni and me.

Promise.

(SNIFFLING)

Okay, okay, don't have to wear.

I promised Appa but I can't do this.

Can't do what?

He told me about the lump.

What lump?

The lump on your back.

Why you keep talking about a lump? I don't have a lump.

Appa.

You have a lump?

(SIGHS) You promise.

Show us your lump, Appa.

All right... (SIGHS)

This...

(MUMBLES)

Hmm.

(GRUNTS)

What is it?

It's likely a fatty deposit.

Why did you wait so long to come in?

Oh. That's a good question.

Mrs. Kim?

Why we not notice huge lump on your husband back before now?

I don't know. Maybe because you always falling asleep before, you know...

Bedtime.

Okay, so no problem?

No, it's also very close to your spine, and I don't like that it got this big, this fast.

So what we do?

Remove it.

I'll check to see if there's an appointment later today.

Surgery?

It's okay. I keep lump.

I like lump. It's fine. Hardly notice.

I notice.

You not notice.

Enrique notice.

Mr. Kim, these things are unpredictable.

I'd like to remove it, and test it and make sure...

Yah, but, uh, today, you know, it's so busy.

What time?

My receptionist will call you with a time.

What, I don't get vote?

My back, my lump.

We really need to do this.

Yah, that thing look like it have evil little face.

Yah, now that you see.

Maybe you get surgery for your eye, huh? Two for one.

Argh! My lump!

So?

Doctor say it's nothing.

It's not nothing.

It's a big fat something.

But is it benign?

Yah, that's what I say. It's nothing.

Doctor say it's too close to spine. Have to test.

So Appa have surgery today.

What! Today?

Okay, when do we have to be there?

You not going. You go to award ceremony.

No way. Not when you're having surgery.

Ah, look what you do. Now Janet is a scare.

This is a nothing.

But your award is very important. We all go.

Maybe only award you ever win.

Despite that comment, I still want to go to the hospital.

Okay, you go to hospital, I go to award.

Stop, stop, stop!

You is go to surgery. You is go to award.

By the time you get home, we is home, safe and sound.

Wait. Who watch store?

Oh, close store.

We never close store in 20 year.

Lock door.

How we go to hospital if door is a lock?

You go get your things now, huh? (HURRYING HIM)

Okay, okay.

Too bad doctor can't get you off my back.

Are you kidding me? Is he still looking at me?

Jung: Oh yeah.

(SIGHS) I can't remember his name. What's his name?

Well, you've got about nine seconds, 'cause he's headed over right now.

I'm totally blanking. Do me a huge favour, introduce yourself.

He looks like a Fred.

Or possibly... Ned?

I hate you so much right now.

He's right behind you.

Hi, Jung Kim.

Hey!

(CHUCKLES)

You're going to pay for that.

(PHONE RINGS)

Do you want anything? I'm going to go get a drink.

Sure. I'll have what you're having.

Hey.

I've been trying to reach you for the last hour.

I'm at a work thing. What's up?

Appa's in the hospital.

What?

You should go check on him.

Nurse: It's almost time.

Oh! What's wrong?

Nothing! (CHUCKLES) She always worry about me.

Okay, go. I see you after.

This surgery very safe, yeah?

Very safe. It's a simple procedure.

That's what they say to Mr. Singh.

He go from hole-in-one to hole in ground in one week.

He have a triple bypass surgery, Appa!

It's all going to be fine. You're in good hands with Dr. Peterson.

She is professional.

Okay, but tell to me one thing.

If a lump is on back, why I have to take off pants?

(GIGGLES)

Sarang hae.

Na do.

Pants is a basic human right!

His name's Alan.

Who?

"Ned, Fred" is Alan. Carrie told me.

Oh!

Is something wrong?

It's my dad. He's at the hospital.

For real.

What do you mean, "for real"?

Just, that he's really at the hospital.

What is it?

Hopefully it's no big deal, but he's getting a lump removed. They're not sure what it is.

Wow. Your parents have had a rough year for health scares.

Yeah.

Your mom's heart condition and fever and now your dad...

Right.

Yeah.

He is sick.

I never said he wasn't.

I just feel like I should be there.

And Janet says she can't go, so...

You should go.

I'll call you.

Sure.

I, I can't sell you any more eggs, Mr. Petrenko.

Well, that's r*cist.

It's not r*cist. I mean, look, I just sold you a dozen eggs, and then I watched you walk outside and throw them at a cyclist, a cab, and a streetcar.

Well, that's because they think they're better than me.

The streetcar thinks it's better than you?

So, you already heard.

I'm not selling you any more eggs.

(STAMMERING) Is there anything else I can get for you?

Nope.

Oh. Wow.

Oh! (SNICKERS) Thanks.

And thanks for coming with me.

Hey, probably the only chance I'll get to go to a dean's dinner.

Sorry, we're closing early.

Oh, I just need some tomato sauce.

Uh, preferably with no garlic.

Oh, and also some ladyfingers. Again, no garlic.

I don't think they come with garlic.

Oh, okay, thanks.

(DOOR OPENING)

Oh!

Hey, do you guys got sour cream?

In the back.

You go.

Get our seats. I'll catch up.

Are you sure? I can stay.

I'll be right there.

Did I say sour cream? I meant sunscreen.

Who you is?

Sarah. I'm your nurse.

We've spoken many times.

How you feeling?

Good.

When we do surgery?

You're all done.

Everything looks great.

Aye.

(CHUCKLES)

(DOOR OPENING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

What you doing?

Ah.

I thought you were sleeping.

(GRUNTS) You see your Umma?

She just here.

(GRUNTS) Come. Sit.

Have a pudding. It's banana. (CHUCKLES)

Thanks, I'm good.

There's no crust, but it tastes like cream pie.

How they do that, huh?

Here, eat.

No, I'm okay.

Ah, try one bite. You should love it.

Hmm? Hmm?

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Hey.

Who ate my banana pudding cup?

So, how you feeling?

Really good. (CHUCKLES)

Now I know why you always smoking marijuana.

I wasn't always...

(CHUCKLING)

So, did they remove the lump?

Hmm. That's what they tell me. I don't see it anywhere.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, Mr. Mehta, he tell me funny story about a man who have lump on back that slowly move to front. Huh? (CHUCKLES)

Three boob is one too many boob. (CHUCKLES)

Well, it's good seeing you, Appa.

You was, uh, four or five-year-old when we take out appendix.

I take you to hospital.

Have to stay here three days, sleeping in chair beside you. Just like this.

Only time we ever close the store.

Over 20 year ago.

You stayed here for three days?

Hmm. Had no choice.

You wouldn't let go of my hand.

(SIGHS) They give to you pudding back then too.

But, uh, only tapioca.

Not as good as a banana. (CHUCKLES)

You know, Appa, it's been a long time, but, uh...

I just want you to know that...

(SNICKERS)

(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)

How you feeling?

Like a weight off my shoulder, and a lump off of my back.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Your son seems nice.

Your son, earlier.

Jung was here?

I... I didn't get his name.

No, you was the only one here. We talk about pudding.

I don't think you and I ever talked about pudding.

Although if we were going to, chocolate's my favourite.

Chocolate is boring.

Appa!

We talk about pudding?

Why we talk about pudding? Put on the pants!

(DOOR OPENING)

Janet, look who is a survive.

Okay, okay, enough.

(SIGHS) We selling flower now?

Word got out and I guess people were worried about you.

There's two "get well" cards, a "thinking of you" and one "sorry for your loss".

I think that was a mistake.

This is all from customer?

Yeah.

How was award? You get picture?

You show us!

Yeah, yeah. Later.

I go make some tea, huh?

Hmm.

You didn't go.

We don't close the store.

You just stubborn.

You stubborn.

(GRUMBLES)

You want to see scar?

No!

Then stop looking at me.

(SCOFFS)

Here, it's for you. Sort of a welcome-home present.

Someone told me you really liked them.

Oh, yeah! You have to try!

(CHUCKLES)

It's a banana flavour expl*si*n! (CHUCKLES)

(SLURPS)

Hmm.

(SLURPS)

It's not the same without the morphine.

Mmm, nothing ever is. Uh-huh.

Hmm.

(SLURPING)

Hey.

Hi.

How's your dad?

Good, good. I'm glad I went. It was good.

How was the rest of your night?

It was good. I had a really good time.

I met some people. (SNICKERS)

I wish I'd been able to stay, 'cause it was really nice hanging out with you. Outside of work.

Yeah. Good.

Was there anything else?

Uh, nope. Just saying "hey".

Well, back to it.

Yeah, okay. See you.