04x02 - Couch Surfing

[bunniefuu]

[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

[SIGHS]

- Hey.

- Hi.

Have to apologize.

My wife is teaching piano again.

That's good.

Oh, she good, but not the children, huh?

Very cute, but so bad.

Same mistake over and over and over.

[CHUCKLES]

We all start somewhere.

Yeah, but have to know when to stop.

This one is the worst, but they pay, so we take money.

That's my daughter.

I'm here to pick her up.

And she has so much improved.

So much better in just one day.

Could be prodigy.

You can go upstairs and get her.

Please, get her.

No, she still has another 20 minutes.

Good.

I get to listen to her beautiful music for another twenty You know, I'm just gonna drink this outside.

- Lucky you.

- Sorry?

Okay, see you.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[JUNG]

This is awesome.

A half day of work, full day of Earth Destroyer 4.

We gotta save the world this time.

I thought we were destroying the world.

I see our problem now.

This is new, right?

[UNLOCKS DOOR]

[WATER DRIPPING]

Oh, good.

An upstairs problem.

Hey, Terence, is that coffee fresh?

As a newborn baby.

I make a new pot every hour to maximize productivity.

Good thinking.

Keep it up.

I've got other ideas.

- [CELLPHONE VIBRATING]

- Uh, yeah.

Lead by example.

Examply.

Hey, I got your text.

Yeah, sorry about that.

Lisa rented the cottage for us all to go as couples.

[ALEJANDRO]

Hey, it's a work thing.

On a houseboat?

Look, they printed the t-shirts and everything.

Well, this was important to me.

My name is already on the shirt.

[SHANNON]

What?

I don't care if your name is on the shirt.

I can get you one with your name on it.

- I don't want a t-shirt!

- Babe!

[APPA]

Okay, see you.

Great.

Okay, bye.

Great news.

Water pipe burst in Jung apartment.

He have to stay here.

He ask to come, or you ask him to come?

- What difference?

- Big difference.

You rather have Jung live on street in life-death emergency instead of stay here?

Jung gonna die from broken pipe?

- Yobo.

- Just asking.

[SIGHS]

Okay, he can stay.

Bible say welcome the guest as you would welcome the Jesus.

Bible always taking you side.

[SCOFFS]

What's this?

Meet 'Job Board Terence.

' JBT.

I like it.

Why can't you just say those things to us?

Well, because constantly reminding you might get a little irritating.

Not like a cartoon boss.

And I already took out the garbage.

Then it should be crossed off.

- [STACIE]

Can I cross it off?

- Only I can cross things off.

So we still have to talk to you.

Hmm.

Oh, Shannon.

Might I introduce you to Handy's newest team member.

- Who?

- Job Board Terence.

I think we settled on JBT.

Okay, whatever.

You guys need to sign these.

I have no idea who's written them.

Can no one commit to anything?

[TERENCE]

Okay, I'll add it to the list.

But first, JBT wants you to smile more, Shannon.

Now you gotta do it.

There she is.

I guess JBT won somebody over.

Was that harassment?

It's a cartoon, Stacie.

Loosen up.

Can't believe Jung going to live at home again.

Eating same food, sitting at the same table, using same hand towel.

Remember, if I pull my ear like this, means it's time for him to go.

- [SCOFFS]

- [DOORBELL CHIMES]

Hey, Ajuma, Ajushee.

- Hi, Kimchee.

- Where's Jung?

Oh, I thought he called you.

He did.

He gonna stay in Janet's room.

You mean, Janet's apartment.

- Maybe you misunderstood.

- Maybe you misunderstood.

Well, why Jung don't stay here?

[LAUGHS]

Yeah.

Who knows?

Maybe he wanted me to have the more comfortable stay, huh?

So far so good.

And remember, it's a life and death emergency.

And Bible say have to treat all guests equal.

Room is upstairs, food in fridge.

Oh, thanks so much, Ajuma.

Oh, I brought you something.

- Wow.

- Oh, jam.

- We already have.

- Oh, I can return it.

Maybe not now.

This photograph feels kind of flat.

I mean, it is flat, but flatter than usual.

Hey, I'm trying to buy some kettleballs on Amazon.

Can I borrow your charger, roomie?

Can I give it to you in a bit?

You can use mine.

Oh, thanks.

I'm Jung.

Oh, right, uh This is my brother.

I'm lending him my room, 'cause his apartment is moldy or something.

Uh, burst pipe, and I offered to sleep on the couch.

It's fine.

I'm smaller.

Make our project amazing while I pee.

- Here.

- [JUNG]

Thanks.

But I don't know if I should be accepting a charger from a stranger.

I'm Jung.

Did I already say that?

Well, now you won't forget it.

It's locked in now.

I'd offer to help, but Janet got all the brains in the family.

I doubt that.

No, it's okay.

I got the height, the arms, the legs.

Not the calves, though.

Don't tell anyone.

Your secret's safe with me.

Okay, well, I hope you guys don't have to stay up all night working.

No, we actually might go out later.

- Somewhere in Adelaide.

- [JUNG]

Seriously?

If you're down that way, there's a club you've gotta check out.

I know the bouncer.

We spot each other at the gym.

- I might even go later.

- Where?

Nightro?

[JUNG]

It's a good club.

I mean, if we're right there anyway It's a douche den.

- I was just making a suggestion.

- Thanks, but we're not really into muscle talk, or guys doing their accidental double intro.

'So you don't forget it' thing.

[LAUGHS]

It's not a thing.

It's not a thing.

Oh, my God.

Did you just do it?

[CHUCKLES]

It's fine.

Wow.

I was gone for, like, a minute.

Okay, well, thanks for the charger.

[JANET]

Okay, bye.

[CELLPHONE VIBRATING]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Who's ready for girl's night?

- Oh, my God, you have no idea.

- Spill.

Alejandro's bailing on Lisa's cottage weekend.

"House-Boata-Palooza.

Gonna be the best weekend of my life.

" I mean, why am I still with him?

Okay, don't press the panic button.

You just need to blow off some steam.

And maybe post a hot pic after downing a couple of these bad boys.

[TERENCE]

There's that smile.

JBT getting 'er done.

[IMITATES p*stol f*ring]

Give me one of those baby bottles.

Oh, wait.

That one's hand sanitizer.

Ooh, good eye.

Okay.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]

How's your choir bake going?

Not choir baking.

Cooking for whole church lunch tomorrow.

- Mmm.

Smell good.

- [UMMA CHUCKLES]

Hey, Ajuma, the bed's really comfy, and the comic books were a nice touch.

[UMMA]

Yeah, okay.

[KIMCHEE]

Hey, Ajushee, can I get you a beer?

I brought a bunch.

Hm, if you need help with drink Thanks, Ajushee.

They might be a little warm.

No, because I put in the freezer.

- Awesome.

- [APPA LAUGHS]

Old Ajushee secret.

Popsicle-style.

- You like golf?

- I don't know much about it.

[APPA]

I teach to you.

Yeah.

First sit down.

Then open beer.

Then yell at them like you can do better.

- [KIMCHEE]

I can do that.

- [APPA LAUGHS]

Geonbae!

Can I tilt this just a bit?

It's perfect.

Just put your eyes at my eye level.

Hey guys, sorry about the inconvenience.

It's fine, you live here.

She means Jung staying over.

Didn't you see his sweaty workout clothes in the bathroom?

No.

- Hey Gerald.

Chelsea.

- Jung.

Hey can you clear those workout clothes out of the bathroom?

Other people workout in there.

- [JUNG]

Sure thing.

- Ooh, grapes.

- Yep.

- Are these seedless?

They are.

You going to Fightro later?

It's Nightro.

And I don't know.

Is something wrong?

We'll finish this in our room.

So what's going on?

It's nothing.

Forget it.

Wait, are you sad?

I'm not sad.

And you don't have to protect your friend from me, you know.

You don't even remember her name.

Yeah, I didn't get it because you were too busy making me look like an idiot.

You were hitting on her in the middle of a project.

I was making a connection!

- [JANET SCOFFS]

- I like connecting with people.

Not that you'd understand.

What does that mean?

It means you're not the most emotionally available person.

You're definitely available.

At least I'm not some impersonal robot.

[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]

'Cause that's what I am.

Beep-boop, beep-boop, beep-boop.

I thought you were sleeping on the couch.

I thought you were going to Fightro with Sydney.

Who's Sydney?

[KIMCHEE]

Whoa, these dudes are styling.

Think I could pull off those pants?

Never pull off pants.

That's golf rule number one.

- [BOTH LAUGH]

- Okay.

Feet off table.

House rule.

See what I have to put up with?

[LAUGHS]

I don't want smelly feet print on the table and popcorn on floor like in dirty movie theatre.

Sorry Ajumma.

I can vacuum it later?

[GLASS BREAKING IN FREEZER]

What's that?

[UMMA GASPS]

You put beer in freezer again?

It explode everywhere!

Ice cream is ruin, dumpling is ruin.

- Beer is ruin.

- We going to talk about this!

It was me.

What?

The beer was warm and I forgot.

Oh yeah?

Okay.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, yeah.

You is guest.

You sit, relax.

Yobo.

- [UMMA]

You clean up.

- Mmm.

[BOTTLES BREAKING]

[WHISPERING]

Kimchee.

Kimchee!

Hey.

Everything okay?

Last night, after you go to sleep, I eat some food Mrs.

Kim make for church.

- How much did you eat?

- Not important.

Then I remember that Mrs.

Kim not get mad at you for exploding beer.

I don't like where this is going.

Oh, please, Kimchee.

- Good morning, Kimchee, Yobo.

- [KIMCHEE]

Good morning.

[WHISPERS]

Thank you.

What happen?

Oh, um I had a bit of the munchies last night.

You eat almost all of it!

- How can you do like that?

- Almost all?

[LAUGHS]

Sounds like Kimchee just make a silly mistake.

Like with exploding beer.

Well, one mistake too many!

You come here with your everyday jam and exploding beer, and even though you are not guest I want, I say okay because I try to be good person.

- But then you eat all my church food!

- Well, not all.

What kind of guest do that?

Wild crazy animal guest like you!

[SCREAMS]

I am so sorry.

- Maybe this make you feel better.

- [SIGHS]

Thanks for last night.

[CHUCKLES]

Those tiny bottles really sneak up on you [INHALES SHARPLY]

[GASPS]

Oh, my God.

[LAUGHS]

I forgot about the drawings.

I gotta to go.

Okay, bye Oh, no.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

What is that?

[EXHALES]

Terence with a d*ck nose?

Rude!

That's a d*ck nose?

I don't know.

Why would I know?

d*ck nose Terence.

JBT!

Looking good!

DNT looking better.

[OMAR CHUCKLES]

What happened to my nose?

Not cool, guys.

Someone get this down.

Why would someone do this?

But JBT is all about positivity Well, judging by the nose, I'd say he looks pretty happy.

[STACIE LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

I thought you kicked Jung onto the couch.

No, because I'm a warm, sympathetic human being.

And you sleep like little bird.

I got up to use the washroom and watched you for a bit.

[JUNG]

Morning.

Thanks for looking out for me, Chelse.

So sweet of you.

Oh.

Running late.

See you, guys later.

Don't worry, he'll forgive you.

Forgive me?

Because you insulted him in front of Sydney.

I thought you were watching your movie?

You guys were way more interesting.

[CHUCKLES]

Then you know Jung's crazy, right?

Some of the stuff he was saying?

Like, I'm "emotionally unavailable?" [SCOFFS]

Mmm-hmm.

[JANET LAUGHING]

Gerald?

You have a lot of other great qualities.

A beautiful sleeper for example.

You agree with him?

I don't know if you've noticed, but I just agree with everyone.

He's the one who's emotionally messed up.

- Hitting on every girl he meets?

- He's in his prime.

And you're just practicing safe emotional boundary maintenance What is that?

It's the Janet fence.

But there's a good reason for that, I'm assuming.

Yeah, and maybe one day, you'll open the fence and tell us.

Open, closed, we still love you.

- [GERALD]

Mmm-hmm.

- [CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]

- Mmm-hmm.

- Should we hug?

Mmm.

I would, but I'm in a hurry.

- Maybe later.

- See.

- Smack into the fence.

- Mmm-hmm.

Oh, good, my chair will not stop swiveling.

[LAUGHS]

When will this whiteboard disaster end?

We'll just order a new board, and JBT can live on.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, like when my mom just ordered a new sailor suit when the first one got destroyed?

Let's face it.

Whoever did this is gonna strike again.

Or whoever did this might be going through a hard time right now and just foolishly expressed it through vandalism.

Oh, my God!

They added more.

Seems like it's open season on DNT.

Don't worry [BREATHES DEEPLY]

This ends now.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

- Janet.

- Umma.

Why you say like that?

- You said it like that first.

- [UMMA]

So You having good time at Janet and Jung fun time party house?

I'd take Kimchee any day.

- Janet.

- Hey, Appa.

At least Jung don't eat all your dumpling, kimbap and mochi donut hole.

[LAUGHS]

Kimchee did that?

He didn't mean to do that.

When you stick food in your mouth, you mean to do that.

Okay obviously you're just mad at Jung and taking it out on Kimchee.

- [UMMA]

That's not reason.

- No?

No.

He's ungrateful and don't appreciate me.

- Jung or Kimchee.

- This not your business, Janet.

Well, Jung's worse.

I give him my room and he calls me a robot with no feelings.

- Oh, yeah.

- Hm.

What do you mean, oh yeah?

You just serious.

Not serious but [IMITATES A STERN LOOK]

That's a good thing, Janet.

Don't want to show emotion all the time.

Yeah, real emotion very scary.

I'm emotional.

I'm an artist.

But you is not, you know, warm and fuzzy.

And you guys are?

- No, I'm more angry-cry.

- Hm.

And I'm serious face but sensitive.

I'm more sensitive than the rest of this family combined.

And I am glad Kimchee ate all your food.

[GASPS]

[SCOFFS]

[OBJECT FALLS TO GROUND]

[BOTH GASP]

See, no warm and fuzzy from Janet.

Welcome to Handy Sensitivity Training.

Why are we sitting like this?

To ensure objectivity and create a safe space.

- Is Omar here?

- Yeah.

- Who's that?

- It's Jung.

- Hm, you sound like Stacie.

- Okay.

- Let's focus.

- On what?

On finding the person who started this.

Well that attitude isn't going to help anything.

When we attribute blame, that person just becomes another victim and the cycle of bullying continues.

I know that feeling.

We're all going to say one thing we wish we could change about ourselves.

How about something we don't want to change about ourselves?

Okay forget it, let's all just agree we've all been in Terence's shoes at some point.

And if one of us is hurt, we're all hurt.

So if one of us drew the nose.

We all drew it.

I don't know about that.

Look, none of us is innocent.

Maybe We get drunk or mix up office supplies or stay in a bad relationship.

- Amen, sister.

- [SHANNON]

So, let's all just say 'I drew this and I'm sorry.

' - Omar?

- I can't draw.

- Stacie?

- I didn't do the drawing.

But I kind of wish I did.

I got it, my hair!

Oh, wait, trick question right, cause I can change my hair.

In conclusion, mistakes were made, and everyone is Sorry.

Would you agree, Terence?

I can't see if everyone's faces look sorry.

They do.

Hey.

Hey.

You can join us if you want.

Four's kind of a crowd.

Grab a chair, it's a movie.

It's fine.

- So we good?

- Yeah, I mean, I'm good.

- If you're good.

- I can pause it.

No, don't pause it.

It's all good.

I just don't want you guys thinking, I don't need anyone.

- No.

- That's not what I meant.

Good.

Because I'm not without feelings.

Of course not.

No.

Am I pausing or?

No, sorry.

I'm being stupid.

I mean, I may not be all warm and fuzzy.

But it's not because I don't care about you guys.

I think we should pause it, babe.

Because I do.

A lot.

Even if I can't always Express it, you know?

Because of the Janet fence.

Sure.

And you're my big brother and I love you.

Ok cool, I love you too.

[WHISPERS]

Chelsea.

Oh, so now our food isn't good enough for you?

I was thinking I shouldn't eat any more of yours.

Yeah, now you thinking.

You know what?

I think I might just grab my stuff.

[UMMA]

No need.

- Already here.

- Oh [APPA]

Kimchee.

- What you doing?

- We saying goodbye to house guest.

But his place is still flood.

It's fine.

Besides, I'm pretty excited to see how much of my stuff got wrecked.

See ya.

Stop.

I eat all you church food.

It was late.

Popcorn was finish.

So, why you blame Kimchee?

I think you is less mad at him than me.

Like with exploding beer.

And you sit back and let me yell at Kimchee?

Sorry, Kimchee.

And whole time, I should be yelling at you.

How you let me do that to house guest?

I call Kimchee animal.

So sorry, Kimchee.

But you is animal!

Okay, I'm just gonna head Oh, no, no, no.

I'm going to make you apology dinner.

You don't have to.

I know I'm not Jung.

No, you're not.

But you is our house guest.

- Come.

- Uh, but that was - Sure.

- What about me?

Popcorn, aisle two.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you got it down.

I've ordered a new one.

So JBT will be up again in no time.

Actually Maybe I was taking my position too seriously and being a bit of a b-word.

You're not a bitch, Terence.

- I meant bully.

- Right, sorry.

I guess Dolphin Nose Terence taught me something after all.

Dolphin Nose?

DNT.

I have to tell you something I signed my accident reports.

Or someone's.

Thanks, Stacie.

- [STACIE]

That's weird.

- [TERENCE]

What?

- Your handwriting looks a lot like - Thank you, Stacie, but we're in a manager only meeting - [CHUCKLES]

- [STACIE]

Mmm-hmm.

That was pretty suspicious.

Ah Do you think it was her?

Wouldn't surprise me.