01x05 - Hva er det som gjør deg kåt?

Episode transcripts for the 2015 TV show "Skam". Aired: September 25, 2015 to June 2017.*
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"Skam" is about the daily life of teenagers at the Hartvig Nissens upper secondary school (Hartvig Nissens skole) in Oslo.
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01x05 - Hva er det som gjør deg kåt?

Post by bunniefuu »

Hello.

He's on a bus with William.

Who's William?

He's the most handsome and coolest guy in all of third year.

Invite me to have dinner with your mom.

Friday.

Yeah... Friday.

Guess who's invited to the Penetrator party on Friday?

Are you for real, Eva?!

William asked me if I wanted to go outside with him. I think we'll hook up.

Hi! Is Jonas home?

Yeah, he's in the living room.

Hello.

Hi.

What are you guys playing?

FIFA.

What's up?

What?

Where's your Russ crew today?

Don't you have a shitload to do?

It's only two years and seven months until Russ time.

You better start working.

I know. I'm really jealous of you guys, who spend their time on more constructive things...

Like playing videogames all day long.

What are you mad about now?

I'm not mad. I'm just kidding. Have a little humor.

I have to talk to you.

Drama!

What's wrong?

What's wrong with you?

There's nothing wrong with me.

Okay...

So why haven't you replied to my messages?

I was busy.

So you're not mad I forgot our thing yesterday?

No, no.

I don't care.

You don't care?

Don't stress about it.

Okay, good.

Good.

Fine.

Yeah, so I'll go.

You're welcome to stay.

No, I have a lot of stuff to do.

Yeah, I'll call you.

He claims he's not pissed, but I think there's something when he doesn't want to talk about it.

But isn't he just pissed because he thought that you didn't want him to meet your mom?

He thinks you're embarrassed of him.

You think so?

Just let him meet your mom. What's the problem?

Chris has to tell Sana that she can't be on our bus any longer.

Why?

Hello?! She nearly ruined our entire social status, and I had to fix it.

I had to explain to the Penetrator guys that we don't usually create a lot of drama.

It's really important what they think of us.

But maybe it wasn't Sana's fault?

Have you met Sana? She's incredibly rude.

Sara and Ingrid aren't the nicest people in the world.

I know Sara and Ingrid really well and they're not girls who start drama.

Really...

William...

What's up with you two?

I think we'll sleep together.

Okay?

Don't you think you should get to know him a little better first?

Why? He's totally perfect.

I want my first time to be with the most handsome, coolest '97 guy rather than someone basic.

You'll remember your first time for the rest of your life.

His first time?

I've also heard that William is really, really good in bed.

And that usually you don't get an orgasm the first time. But with William, you do.

I've heard about five girls who got an orgasm.

Okay...

Hello?! I'm doing this for you guys too!

This will guarantee we'll get to party on their bus.

Vilde?!

There's something I was wondering.

Can I borrow the pill from you guys? You can't borrow the pill.

Not one pill. I thought for a week or something. You have it?

I don't have it.

Me neither.

Don't you sleep with your boyfriend?

I have a NuvaRing. And you don't want to borrow that one.

Where did you get it?

The doctor.

So much stress. Can't you order it online or something?

I don't know.

Just go to the school doctor.

Can you come with me?

Why?

Because it's really weird to go there alone.

It's so much less weird with us...

Of course we can come, Vilde.

William!

Hey, are you awake?

Yeah, I can't sleep.

What are you doing?

It's just boring work.

No wonder your grades are going down if you don't sleep at night.

I definitely won't sleep if we're going to talk about grades.

How are Ingrid and Sara doing?

Why are you asking and interrogating like that?

It was just a normal question.

Yeah. Yeah, they're doing well.

I have a boyfriend.

Oh?

Hm-hm.

Who is it?

Who?

Hm-hm.

I thought you could meet him.

Yes!

Before you leave again?

Hm-hm.

Maybe we can invite him over for dinner?

Yes.

When are you leaving again?

Saturday morning.

Maybe Friday night?

So nice.

Hi.

Have you become friends again, or?

This is Noora. I've told you about Noora.

Noora.

Hello. Jonas.

We have an appointment at the school doctor.

Yeah, what about Vilde?

Vilde will meet us there.

What's going on at the doctor?

We're helping a friend get laid.

Okay... Good luck with that.

Thanks!

You guys are so slow!

Sorry!

But, are you doing anything on Friday?

What is she doing here?

How did you know we were here?

Eva's boyfriend told me.

Did you tell your boyfriend?!

I have the best news in the world!

Sana sold all the toilet paper!

Vilde Lien?

I'm serious!

How did she manage that?

I don't know!

She said you just had to send your account number and address.

Are you kidding?

No!

Can she please join our bus?

It's not something illegal?

No, no! She's Muslim.

No, but as a Muslim you go to hell if you do something illegal.

She doesn't really want to go to hell.
Welcome!

Everyone.

What can I help you with?

She's gonna sleep with a guy.

You're so lucky!

For the first time.

That's not just anything.

What do you mean?

My cousin bled so much that she got anemia.

That's bullshit.

No, bleeding can happen during your first intercourse.

Large bleedings should be taken seriously because they can in fact k*ll you.

She just got a little weak.

Then she was lucky.

I had a patient once who bled so extremely that we feared she would pass out.

Because she had sex for the first time?

No, she cut herself.

She bled so much that we had to give her a blood transfusion.

But she just wants to have the pill.

Yes. When will the intercourse take place?

On Friday.

On Friday?!

That's when William's available.

I thought that we could drink in Eva's basement.

We should drink? You're the one who will be having sex with him.

I can't drink by myself. You have to support me.

Why do you have to drink at all?

It can't be at my place. Mom's home and Jonas is coming.

Please-

Have you seen one like this before?

Do any of you perhaps want to see how to put on a condom?

It's difficult to open.

It tends to be...

There we go.

Be honest, how painful is it?

I don't remember anything from my first time.

Just drink, you won't feel anything.

Do you want to be so drunk that you don't remember anything?

Were you drunk your first time?

No.

Pinch my arm. How much does it hurt?

Seriously?

It doesn't resemble pinching.

Just relax, so it doesn't hurt.

What do you know? You haven't even had sex.

Okay, seriously. William has to call soon.

What did he write last?

Pick you up around 7. We'll find something.

Can't you just call him?

I can't seem too desperate for his d*ck.

But what if he doesn't send a message?

Then I would be a little bit relieved.

Vilde, you don't have to have sex with him if you don't want to.

I want to! But I just don't want it to hurt.

No, but that's why you have to relax.

What turns you on about him?

Turns me on?

What gets you horny?

Horny...

Nothing makes me horny.

You're never horny?

Are you?

Yes!

Why don't you have sex then?

I know what can make you horny.

I won't be involved in lesbian stuff.

Vilde, it's not lesbian stuff. Just lie on your back and close your eyes.

Imagine you and William standing in the bedroom.

Are you imagining it?

Yes.

What's happening?

What's happening?

Yeah, describe it.

We're standing in the bedroom.

I'm wearing a white dress.

Yeah, good. Continue.

Okay!

The dress is almost similar to a Stella McCartney dress with lace at the bottom.

But it doesn't have lace at the bottom.

I have my hair down. No! I'm wearing it up.

But my up-do is loose so my hair falls down some.

I'm wearing light pink lipstick.

Not the lightest from Mac, but the one that's kind of medium.

This actually works!

Seriously?

I think so!

You get horny when talking about clothes and make-up?

Yes!

People get horny from different things.

I was watching a documentary about the countryside and got horny from donkeys.

Eva?

I'm coming!

Okay, you guys have to leave now.

We can't go. He hasn't sent a message yet.

Go to your house, then.

I can't go home, I've been drinking.

Can't we just sit here? We can be quiet.

Eva?

Yeah, I'm coming!

Okay, okay! But you have to be really quiet.

Leave through the window, okay?

Hi! Hi. Shouldn't your boyfriend be coming now?

Eh, yes! But he sent a message that he's a bit delayed.

Okay.

[Where the hell are you?]

Do you need help?

[Where the hell are you?]

Do you need help?

No, it's going well.

What was that?

I forgot to turn off a movie. I'll fix it.

What are you doing here?

Is Vilde here?

No! Eh, yes. But you can't be here.

Hi! Nice to meet you.

Hi. William.

No, no, no. This isn't my boyfiriend. This is Vilde's boyfriend.

Oh, really? Who's Vilde?

A friend. William thought Vilde was here, but she isn't.

So he's leaving now.

Chris, Noora, Vilde! What are you doing here?

Remember when I borrowed your jacket?

Well we thought we'd bring it.

But you weren't in your basement, so we left it in a bag outside... your window.

Yeah, thanks. But now you surely have to go again.

Yeah, yeah. We have so many jackets to deliver. So we'll just...

See you! Come.

Bye!

What's going on here, Eva?

Nothing's going on.

Were those girls drunk?

No.

Where are you?

I can't come anymore.

Why not?

Because I forgot I said I'd help my mom with something.

Can't you help her later?

No it's really important. I have to do it now.

Who was that?

That was my sister.

Jonas!

I'm sorry, but I have to go now.
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