01x03 - Chapter Three

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: Ah, there you are again. Before we begin, a refresher: Jane's grandmother raised her to believe that her virginity was sacred, that she should wait. This is Jane's fiancé, Michael. Their life was perfectly on track until...

There you are, doctor. You have an insemination in seven and a Pap in eight.

Luisa: Yeah, an insemination and a Pap, yeah, I got it.

Should I...

No, I-I got it.

Latin lover narrator: She does not "got it."

Are you ready for your insemination?

Hi. Yes.

I artificially inseminated the wrong woman.

Latin lover narrator: And the father, Rafael, is married to Petra. Unfortunately, Petra was boning his best friend. And Michael knows this, because he's a detective. But that problem kind of took care of itself.

Yep, that happened.

Roman Zazo d*ed.

Meanwhile... this is Jane's father, international telenovela star Rogelio de la Vega, who her mother is currently hooking up with. But Jane doesn't know he's her father... yet.

And now you are caught up.

♪ ♪

On the 27th of October, way, way back in the year 2000, young Jane Gloriana Villanueva caught a firefly in her hands. And so she made a very important wish. Actually, two. And when she was 16, both of those wishes were finally coming true. That is, until...

Jane: Just so you know, I'm gonna save myself.

Until marriage.

(lyrical song playing)

I can't believe he dumped me.

Maybe next time... just don't tell him about the whole virgin-until-marriage-thing.

Xiomara!

Relax.

I don't mean "have sex"

I just mean put off the conversation, let him think you like to take it slow.

Really, Ma? Big balls of evil?

But how will I know when I've met the right man?

And that little tingly feeling between your legs.

Latin lover narrator: And so, that night, as Xo's favorite breakup song played, Jane made a final wish.

That she'd meet the perfect guy, the one who would wait, and she'd know... deep inside... it was right.

(knocking at door)

Jane: Ma!

Shh, shh, shh.

Mom, I need my wedges.

Which I told you not to borrow.

Hang on, honey, one minute!

This is a great moment. Let's tell her that I'm her father right now.

Shh, shh.

Why are you up, honey?

It's only 6:00.

You're not on breakfast on Mondays.

Yeah.

I switched with Frankie so that I could have coffee with Petra later.

I want to get to know her a little.

Mama! I need my shoes!

Come on!

Why is this even locked?

No reason, honey.

Here you go.

Thanks. Ma?

Is everything okay?

Alba: Jane!

Now?

Mm-hmm.

Rogelio: My daughter is getting married?

No, wait, I'm on tour in the fall.

We'll need her to work around some dates...

Psst.

Ooh...

Yeah, I think...

I think these arepas are plenty spicy.

Mm-mm. I have to go to work now...

Abuela?

Huh?

Are you okay?

Then again, we both ended up unmarried and pregnant, so you must have really pissed the Big Man off.

(gasps)

I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean it as an insult to you, just as an insult to her.

Latin lover narrator: But Jane wasn't insulted at all.

In fact, she'd just had an epiphany.

My whole life, I didn't want to end up an unmarried pregnant woman like my mom.

But guess what.

I'm an unmarried pregnant woman like my mom.

The big bad thing, the thing I was most afraid of... it happened.

But I'm engaged to the man that I love and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

I waited for you.

And now that I'm pregnant, why should I wait another year, another week, another minute, even?

Jane... what are you saying?

Let's have sex.

(angelic choir singing)

Oh...

Are you nervous?

Don't be nervous.

That's easy for you to say.

It'll be quick, I promise.

In and out.

Will you come with me?

That's not really appropriate.

Just tell them everything you saw, okay?

Last night, before Roman Zazo fell.

You never know what's important at the beginning of an investigation.

No detail's too small.

We're looking for the tiniest inconsistencies.

What?

Nothing.

I just... find it kind of sexy when you talk all... cop.

Oh, yeah?

Mm-hmm.

I've got a 15-minute break coming up.

The seats in my car lean all the way back...

I'm not having sex with you for the first time in the backseat of your car.

I was totally kidding.

Mm-hmm.

Female Officer: Jane? Your turn.

You ready?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Honey, stop reading those articles.

They're just speculating and you're torturing yourself.

I know. I know.

Did you know that my dad wants me to cancel the memorial and issue a statement distancing the hotel from Zaz?

Well, are you going to do it?

What choice do I have?

He's the majority owner.

Whatever. I gotta find Zaz's brother and tell him what happened.

Yeah?

I don't even know where to find him, though, 'cause Zaz hadn't talked to the guy in ten years.

I didn't even know he had a brother.

Latin lover narrator: Trust me, she definitely knew.

But I really didn't know Zaz.

Latin lover narrator: Trust me, she definitely did.

♪ ♪

My necklace...

I, uh...

I had a-a necklace I wanted to wear tonight.

I'm sorry.

I think I'm just focusing on these silly, mundane things because I'm just...

(sighs)

I'm just in shock.

Latin lover narrator: This was absolutely true.

Petra was in shock.

And she knew exactly what she needed to do.

Nadine: We interviewed the employees, and nobody saw anything suspicious.

It was clearly a crime of passion.

Which is why we need to bring Petra Solano in for questioning.

No way. No. No.

Roman Zazo was an associate of Sin Rostro...

Latin lover narrator: Think of Sin Rostro as "the big bad wolf."

We're the closest we've been to this guy in four years.

If we bring Petra in now, her lawyer's gonna start asking questions, it's gonna expose the whole investigation.

No signs of struggle.

It was someone he knew.

Sir, she's not strong enough to push him through a window.

What-what about the unregistered g*n?

What...? It wasn't used, it wasn't even out.

And whoever it was was having drinks with him.

Two glasses were found...

One without fingerprints.

Because Petra wiped it down...

Why would she wipe down a glass when she knows her prints are all over that apartment?

So, her husband found out and he did it.

We have no evidence he knew.

Which is why we need to bring her in and ask some questions...

All right, enough. I need to think.

Latin lover narrator: FYI... everything Michael said?

Absolutely true.

And yet he is absolutely lying about the real reason he needed to keep Petra's affair under wraps.

See, he had made some calculations... which would leave him...

If Sin Rostro took out Zaz and he doesn't know we're onto him... well, we've got a real sh*t at the big bad wolf.

But one piece of evidence comes to light against Petra, we're bringing her in.

(phone chimes)

(elevator dings)

Hey.

Hi.

Did you know the guy? Who, uh...

Roman Zazo.

Yeah.

He was, he was my, um... college roommate.

Latin lover narrator: And maybe it was the look in his eyes, but Jane felt compelled to touch Rafael's arm.

(heart pounding quickly)

Anyway... if you need anything, I'm around.

Lina: You little liar!

You never told me you were going to have sex!

Michael seems like a crier.

What? No.

He's not a crier.

Oh, please, he's so totally in love with you, it's all been pent up.

There's a good chance he cries on release.

Where are you going, his place?

No, Michael's brother... who he cannot stand... is crashing there.

My first time was in a tanning bed.

Ew. Ew. Ew.

She does not want a tanning bed.

She's gonna want it all fairy tale telenovela.

That is not true.

I just want it somewhere between fairy tale telenovela and the backseat of a car.

You should take one of those 11th-floor suites.

The cops closed the whole floor.

Luca: Those are nice.

So, are you nervous?

Nervous? No.

Yes. Yeah, maybe a little bit.

Mm-hmm.

Well, it's just... it's such a big deal.

And I want it to be good.

You know? For me. For him...

Yeah, I changed my mind.

You're both gonna cry.

(laughs)

I'll take table eight.

Hey, guys.

Can I get you something to drink?

Oh, hi.

Rose, Dad... this is Jane.

The girl I accidentally impregnated who's suing me.

Hello.

Can we get three waters, please?

Maybe I should get someone else.

Great idea.

Good idea, yeah.

Well, that is one way to meet the mother of your grandchild.

I'm going to leave you both.

Thanks for helping my daughter with her legal woes.

Luisa can be a bit of a handful.

What are you doing?

Leave him.

What?

Let's go somewhere.

Together.

You don't love him.

What happened yesterday was a mistake.

It's not gonna happen again.

Latin lover narrator: Meanwhile, Jane was trying to put Luisa far from her mind.

Armed with a key to the 11th floor suites, she concentrated on what lay ahead.

Specifically getting laid ahead.

Because the truth is Jane did want the perfect fairy tale telenovela experience for her first time.

Then again, perfect doesn't exist.

Especially in telenovelas.

Suddenly, Jane saw Petra lurking at the crime scene.

Petra popping pills.

And then... her fiancé.

What took you so long?

We're not talking here.

Narrator: You will recall we last left Jane witnessing something that left her more than mildly unsettled.

You don't go to the crime scene.

You didn't answer my text.

I was with my boss, trying to keep you out of jail.

They're looking for any reason to bring you in.

I left the necklace in there.

What?!

When I went to end it, things got a little... violent.

He ripped it off.

You have to go get it.

Please?

Where were you last night when Zazo was k*lled?

What?

You heard me. Where were you?

I was in our suite.

Look, I'm guilty of having an affair.

That's all!

I love my husband.

If he finds out, he'll leave me.

Jane? Hello.

Hi. Hey.

What are you guys up to?

Are you okay, honey?

Mm-hmm.

I was just talking to your fiancé about hotel security. You know, after what happened.

Of course.

Thank you. Uh, we're still on for coffee later, I hope. Yeah, yeah. Looking forward to it.

Great, good.

Uh-huh.

So, what was that all about?

What?

Well, I was upstairs, trying to get us a room for tonight.

And...

You got us a room?

Yes, but listen. I saw Petra outside the crime scene and then I saw you meet her up there.

So, what were you guys really talking about?

Latin lover narrator: Part of Michael wanted to tell Jane everything right then and there, not go any deeper, not let this thing snowball...

We were talking about hotel security.

That's it.

But instead he lied.

Well, I think that you need to talk to her again because I saw her lurking outside the crime scene before you got there.

"Lurking"? Okay, you officially watch too many telenovelas.

Michael, I'm saying "lurking" because she was lurking.

She's standing there in front of the door.

She wanted to go in.

She changed her mind.

She started to shake.

And then she took a pill!

Trust me.

Something is off!

Her friend was k*lled. She's upset.

What's going on with you?

Nothing.

Then why are you dismissing me?

I'm dismissing you 'cause you're not making any sense.

You're, like, hormonal or something.

I-I... Mm-hmm.

Jane?

(sighs)

Mm.

Hi.

Hi.

Are you done with work?

No. No, I had a break.

I had this really strong urge...

Actually "urge" is not the right word.

I had a need.

I needed a croquetta.

I guess it's a pregnancy craving or something.

I would offer you some, but I'm really enjoying it and if I give you a bite, I may resent you in a very serious way.

Okay. (quiet laugh)

So...

Petra?

How is she doing?

Uh, it must be really hard for her.

Actually, she's been... really strong.

Good. I'm so glad.

Because if she was struggling, I would understand.

No, yeah, no. I...

You'd think she would be.

But she's, she's... been incredible.

(seagull caws)

So, how are you?

Uh... is that, is that weird?

I mean, am I allowed to ask you that?

I think it's all weird, don't you think?

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, yeah.

I'm adjusting.

What's that?

Oh, it's a... press release.

Wait, you're a writer.

Can you help me with this?

You're the only one that calls me a writer. Do you know that?

Well, are you writing?

Good. So...

I have to issue a statement about what happened last night.

And I don't know, maybe...

Is there a way to allude to the same thing but make it seem a little, uh... nicer?

Uh...

Say "that your college roommate was a troubled young man who you and the hotel have nothing to do with" nicer?

My dad's trying to protect the hotel's reputation.

What?

Nothing.

(sighs) I'm sorry.

I'm judgey.

You should know that about me.

You may end up having a really judgey kid.

Okay, so what does "judgey" sound like?

So that I can be prepared.

You told me that you don't want to be anything like your dad, which is easy enough to say.

But actions are what count.

So, what are you doing about it?

I hope the baby's judgey.

Latin lover narrator: But it happened again.

That quickening in Jane's heart.

Or maybe it was just the pregnancy hormones and not her heart at all.

I should get back to work.

Uh, good to see you.

Uh, uh, okay.

(doorbell rings)

Hi.

Some kind of gift from Rogelio, it looks like.

I'm telling you, Ma, it was like electric between us!

Oh.

His headshot.

Well, that's nice to have.

His signature super spicy salad dressing.

It's some kind of prepackaged gift.

Bueno...

Whatever. He's a jerk.

I know, Ma. And I was going to.

But with the pregnancy, I just don't want to overwhelm her right now.

Ma, relax.

He agreed to stay away from her.

Hi. I would like your biggest, most grandest room, please.

I couldn't ask Rafael. He just kept going on and on about how great his marriage is.

Rogelio de la Vega.

De la Vega.

Rogelio de la Vega.

Maybe I am hormonal.

Maybe she took that pill because she had a headache.

Yeah, and maybe you picked a fight with Michael because you're still afraid to have sex.

First of all, I'm not afraid to have sex.

I've never been afraid to have sex!

And I didn't pick a fight with him.

There was something off with Petra.

My gut is telling me.

Oh, sure.

Who should I make it out to?

Oh, it's the, oh, it's... Oh. Yes.

Maybe she's got a pill problem and Zazo was her dealer.

He was doing something bad.

I heard they found a g*n in his room.

What? Are you serious?

Carmen from dry cleaning saw the cops carrying it out of the room in one of those little baggies.

Oh, my gosh.

What if Petra has a real drug problem?

Okay, here's what you do. You need to find a way to get Petra's urine so you can test it.

Okay, really? That's your solution?

Desperate times, desperate measures.

Latin lover narrator: Desperate times, desperate measures indeed. Which is why Michael was about to commit a federal offense.

Rafael: Michael?

Hi. Rafael?

The father of the...

Yes, I know.

Right. Hi.

Look, uh, you shouldn't be here.

This is an active crime scene. Don't want anyone tampering with the evidence.

Okay. Well, I'd like to speak with the lead detective then.

That would be me. How can I help you?

(quiet laugh)

Why don't we start with you telling me what you think happened here.

I'm sorry. I can't discuss the details of an open investigation.

The press is all over this!

I got to tell them something.

The press is not my problem.

Well, I have a right to know what's happening in my hotel!

My crime scene trumps your hotel.

Don't take it personally.

He's frustrated.

We don't have a lot of information yet.

But, uh, between us?

We are working on a few different theories.

Accident, m*rder.

Maybe crime of passion?

Did you know his girlfriend?

(chuckles) Zaz didn't have a girlfriend.

That you know of.

Thank you for covering for me.

I'll be right back.

You got it.

Excuse me, Miss?

Mm-hmm.

(quietly): Oh, my God.

I know.

(laughing): Oh, my God!

It is indeed me.

(short breaths)

No, no, no, please, please.

Breathe, just, you know...

inhala.

Exhala.

Inhala.

Exhala.

It-it happens all the time.

It is very hard for normal people like you... to believe it when they see me in person.

Oh!

You know what?

This is really embarrassing, but I am gonna hate myself after if I don't ask you.

Can I get a selfie?

Oh, yes. I will love that very much.

Latin lover narrator: Even though Rogelio knew he could get in trouble with Xiomara, he could not resist taking a picture with his daughter.

Silly phone. Okay.

Oh, I was just... It's not on.

Okay.

Xiomara (gasps): Look.

Okay. Okay.

He-he couldn't have told her.

She wouldn't have snapped a selfie.

Wait. Stop. To say what exactly?

(doorbell rings)

Jane: Hello?

Latin lover narrator: Please note, this was not the sort of thing Jane usually did.

Anybody home?

And in the event someone answered, she had an excuse clearly planned out.[/i][/i]

Hello?

Latin lover narrator: But no one did answer.

Huh.

(gasps)

Aah!

Latin lover narrator: Okay, good news.

While Petra is washing off that ridiculous mask, Jane is concocting something relatively believable.

Well, I knew we were meeting up for coffee later.

I just didn't know it would be in my dressing room.

There's only one problem.

I saw you earlier outside the crime scene, and something seemed off, and then you took some sort of pill, so I checked your bathroom and then your dressing room.

In case you had a problem.

Well, you were right.

I did take a pill.

A Xanax.

I got a prescription two years ago after I found out my husband had cancer.

I've taken three.

One after he was diagnosed, one when he had an eight-hour surgery and... one today, after his best friend was m*rder*d in our hotel.

God. Of course.

I'm so sorry.

Don't be.

You're giving a baby away to strangers.

Of course you're gonna want to check up on us.

Let me show you something.

Well, I wanted to put the crib closer to the window so the baby could see the ocean, but then I read that could be dangerous, because window cords could be a choking hazard.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe I'm crying right now.

I'm officially hormonal.

It's beautiful.

♪ ♪

(weakly): Uh...

Inhale. Exhale.

(inhales deeply)

Inhale.

(exhales)

Exhale.

(chuckles)

Ah.

Porque...

Sí?

♪ ♪

What happened?

He snowed you, Ma. He's an actor.

No. It's too much for her to handle right now.

The keycard log places Petra up in her penthouse, exactly where she said she was during the m*rder.

Still think she's guilty?

(knock at door)

Sorry. I-I know you're working.

It's just, I was up in Petra's penthouse, and...

(stammers) Can I talk to you?

Sure.

So, apparently, I am hormonal because I snuck up into Petra's suite, and you were right and I was wrong.

You snuck into her suite?

Yeah. I know. I know...

I just... I'm sorry that I was freaking out on you before.

I was just so sure that there was something going on, but I was wrong, and she's lovely.

And I promise I wasn't swayed by the fact that she gave us the Presidential Suite for tonight.

You told her about tonight?

No, not that... not that it was our first time.

Just that we needed some time to ourselves.

Anyway, I'm sorry about before.

I really am.

Let me make it up to you tonight.

Good. Good.

Okay, I'll meet you at 8:00.

And I'll come straight from church.

Y-You're going to church first?

Yeah. My grandma called, and she insisted for some reason.

Don't worry. I'm not gonna tell her, obviously.

Priest: God is faithful.

He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.

And when we are tempted, he will provide a way out so that we can endure.

Mom! Shh.

I'm trying to listen to the priest.

Priest: God will deliver us from sin if we choose to follow him.

Will you follow God, or will you choose instead to continue to lie to your abuela?

Yes, Jane, I am talking to you.

Abuela taught you that a lie by omission is still a lie.

♪ Tonight's the night you'll lie in bed ♪
♪ You should tell the truth ♪
♪ But you'll lie instead ♪
♪ Don't have sex, Jane ♪
♪ Don't have sex ♪
♪ Can you really lie to my face? ♪

Choir: ♪ Can you really lie ♪
♪ To her face? ♪
♪ Virginity for you and me ♪
♪ If you keep your legs closed ♪
♪ Keep them closed ♪
♪ Keep them closed... ♪

I'm gonna have sex with Michael tonight.

Hallelujah!

Come on. Relax, Ma.

They're practically married already.

Abuela, you can't forbid it.

I told you because I didn't feel right not telling you.

I wasn't asking for permission.

And things changed.

I'm pregnant and a virgin.

And I'm... I just don't think God will forsake me.

I'm sorry, I just don't.

I have to go.

I'm sorry I disappointed you, Abuela.

Honey?

Did you wax?

Clean everything up down there?

(sighs) I love you.

(singing in Spanish)

(continues singing in Spanish)

This is... some memorial.

Trust me. It's very Zaz.

How'd you get your dad to agree?

I thought that he wanted to distance the hotel.

Because he didn't want bad press.

Oh.

But then he realized he'd get even worse press if word got out that he forbid his own son from throwing a memorial for his college roommate.

Nice work.

Thank you.

(song ends, crowd applauds)

(romantic ballad begins)

What?

I just...

I love this song.

Latin lover narrator: And maybe it was the music, or the moment, or the vodka cranberry he had downed too quickly, but suddenly Rafael was extending his hand.

Dance with me.

What? No.

What? You just said you love this song.

No.

Dance with me.

Mmm...

(song continues in Spanish)

(Jane chuckles)

Thank you.

I have to...

I'm gonna go meet with Michael, so... I, um...

I'll see you later.

Latin lover narrator: Jane told herself her heart could be racing for any number of reasons... hormones, nerves, Alba's spicy chicken arepas.

What was happening was nothing.

This was who she wanted.

Wow.

You look...

So do you.

Dance with me?

Oh, no, no dancing.

It's okay.

You're sweating.

Are you nervous?

No.

M-Maybe a little.

(whispering): Are you sure you want to do this?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

(both moaning)

Rafael: Thank you for coming.

If it's your first time, we hope it's an experience you never forget.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Let us fulfill your every need.

Oh, here.

(louder): I'm Rafael Solano...

Turn that off, actually.

Okay, I'm trying!

And your pleasure I... is my pleasure.

What if I...?

I'm... This is off.

It doesn't...

I got it.

There it is.

(sighs)

(laughs nervously)

I guess...

Oh, my God.

I did not expect you to call.

I can't stay away from you.

I try, but I can't.

But, Lu, now this is important.

Mmm.

I'm not gonna leave him.

And you... I need you to understand that.

This is just a temporary thing.

Okay, well, then, let's... let's just enjoy it while it lasts.

Mmm. Do you remember what we got that first time that we were together in that, in that motel in Fort Lauderdale?

(laughs)

Powdered doughnuts from the vending machine.

Go (laughs) get them.

Mmm.

(sighs)

(whistles)

Baby, are you okay?

Are you sure you want to do this?

I want to.

I do want to.

You do?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

(fire alarm sounds)

Darling?

What's going on?

Um, I don't know.

We should probably evacuate.

It's probably just a drill.

Woman: This is not a drill.

Please evacuate into the hotel lobby.

Come on, hurry!

Think your grandma put in a call to the big guy?

Latin lover narrator: And the truth was, Jane couldn't be sure it wasn't divine intervention.

Because suddenly, she was confused about everything.

I should probably check it out.

Of course. Yeah, go, go.

Rafael: Excuse me. Sorry, everybody. It was a false alarm.

It'll just be a few minutes.

Thanks.

I just saw my sister.

And I know I need to forgive her, but I can't.

And it's not the mistake, it's the fact that she lied.

Hey, did you ever get in touch with Aaron?

Aaron?

Zazo's brother.

You mentioned him this morning.

Latin lover narrator: He had not got in touch with Aaron.

In fact, Rafael's search for Zazo's brother had been stymied by one simple fact.

Until this moment, he never knew his name.

I didn't even know he had a brother.

No.

Not yet.

You know, the cops think that he was seeing someone.

Zaz?

Yeah.

I had no idea.

It makes me feel like I didn'tdneally know him.

Anyways...

I guess we'll find out who it was.

So, can we talk?

'Cause upstairs, besides the fire alarm and the TV thing, something seemed off.

Yeah, you're right.

Latin lover narrator: Jane thought about what her abuela said, how lies spiral.

What is it?

Really, what could Jane say?

She was having feelings for another man?

But what if it was just hormones, the result of a suddenly untrustworthy gut?

It was my grandma.

She was so upset about this, and I tried to push past it, but, um...

It's, it's okay.

It's okay.

I-I... I understand.

We'll wait, then.

But what are we waiting for?

I-I love you.

You're the person I want to be with.

So... there's no reason why we can't move the wedding up, right?

(cell phone rings)

Nadine, is this important?

What?

You lied to me.

We have proof your mother's keycard was used to access a back stairwell five minutes before the m*rder.

A stairwell without cameras.

And your mother, who is in a wheelchair, obviously didn't climb those stairs.

Look, I'm telling you, I didn't k*ll him.

Then why were you in the stairwell?

I can't say.

You could go to jail.

Then I'll tell them you tampered with the crime scene.

I won't go to jail, but you will.

And, of course, you'd lose Jane.

So, I'd figure out a way out of this if I were you.

I'm proud of you, Mom.

Calling Jane like that, I know it wasn't easy.

I wonder if she already...

It's stupid.

I barely even know the guy.

Part of me thought maybe for a second with Jane's father, I'd get the fairy tale, too.

Whatever.

These pistachios suck.

"Always and forever, XO."

Latin lover narrator: Huh.

Maybe she'll get her fairy tale after all.

I didn't have sex, Abuela.

What happened?

We decided to wait until we were married.

Which is gonna be next week.

(gasps, shouts)

(Laughs)

Latin lover narrator: And that night Jane made a final wish. That she would go to bed and wake up without feelings for Rafael. No fireflies were hurt in the making of this episode.