01x09 - Chapter Nine

[bunniefuu]

Latin lover narrator: All right, let's dive in. As you know, Jane was accidentally inseminated with Rafael sperm.

But I've never had sex.

This created some ups and some downs. On the bright side...

I'm here...

Jane felt herself falling for her baby daddy.

Hi.

On the downside...

I mean, we're so different.

We're having a baby. Let's focus on that.

But Rafael wouldn't take no for an answer.

And I'm gonna fight for you too.

Unfortunately, Rafael's soon-to-be ex-wife wasn't going down without a fight.

We're done, Petra.

Jane's got to change her mind. You guys have to share custody of that baby.

But Petra had bigger problems.

See, she was being blackmailed by Ivan, the man who knew her secret identity.

Natalia.

And she had accidentally taken him hostage.

(Grunts)

Stop it!

Oh, and Jane's ex-fiancée Michael... he was on the hunt for the notorious drug dealer Sin Rostro.

I don't like this.

And he was getting closer.

He's gone.

And now, let's start.

Where'd he go?

They say you never forget your first...

Short story.

Certainly, young Jane Gloriana Villanueva remembered everything about the night she wrote hers.

It was as though something opened inside her.

Suddenly, her world became magical.

Printer: Keep going. You're good at this.

Teddy bear: You're awesome, Jane. You're doing great.

Suddenly, she let herself dream.

Virgin mary: I think you've found your calling.

Teddy bear: Your mommy's gonna be so proud of you.

Printer: Keep going.

Printer: Show your mom.

Xiomara: No. Mommy, this is what I'm good at.

It's my dream.

Xiomara: It's okay. Don't cry, ma.

Latin lover narrator: Like I said, Jane never forgot the night she wrote her first short story. It was the same night she learned dreams weren't practical. And so Jane kept hers a secret. But she never stopped dreaming. See, for years, Jane had been submitting stories to online magazines. And she had the archived rejection letters to prove it.

(Computer dings)

So she assumed she had just received another one. But at this particular moment, she was wrong, and thrilled to be so.

Hallelujah!

I told you you were good at this.

Morning, everyone.

Is it the pregnancy hormones or did something really good just happen?

Latin lover narrator: Something really, really good just happened.

Just excited about your big meeting with your record label guy.

I'm not nervous.

He heard my demo and he liked it, and so we're meeting. It's not a big deal.

Just because this is my lifelong dream doesn't mean I'm so suddenly freaking nervous.

(Laughs)

And then excited, and then back to nervous.

Jane: You'll be great, mom.

You're absolutely sure you don't need me today at your sonogram?

I'm sure.

And you can take the car.

I'm going with Rafael, and we're taking the bus.

It's his first time.

Aw.

Cute, right?

Muy cute.

So, so cute.

Uh, so-so where do I...

You just slide it.

Like a credit card.

Oh. Got it, like a credit card.

Great.

So we can just sit anywhere?

It's nice. Hey, no, no, no, no.

No, webmd. No...

Oh.

You're right.

But can't I just look up the nuchal fold so that I know what they're looking for?

No, no. It's a wormhole. It's gonna make you nervous.

We talked about this.

Huh?

You're right.

So, just to be clear, I know we had a rough official first date, but we are back on, right?

Back on? What are you, like, 14 years old?

Will you just indulge my 14-year-old self, please?

(Giggles)

Are we?

We're taking it slow.

As long as we're taking it somewhere.

(Laughs)

And as long...

As I can kiss you.

What... no.

Less kissing, more talking.

We got to start to get to know each other, right?

Right. Okay. Tell me something about you that I don't know.

Well, I've been submitting short stories to online magazines for years.

And this morning, I found out from the Cincinnati review that they want to publish one.

What? Th-that's great. So when does it go up?

Oh, I'm not gonna let them publish it, actually.

Why?

The main character in the story, Lucy, is a feisty, single mom that wears booty shorts and entertains a revolving door of guys.

♪ ♪

Ah. Well, I'm sure your mom's got a sense of humor about herself, right?

There's a line in it that says she puts the "loose" in Lucy.

I-I... I mean...

I took some creative license, but it is based on her, and...

I shouldn't have sent it in.

It was just my favorite story, and I wanted to see what it...

Anyway... it's an honor just to get the recognized, right?

The recognition is nothing. Only the award matters.

To win my second consecutive Paloma... it would be unheard of.

I'm gonna live-tweet the show.

Hashtag: Goro. Hashtag: Rogeliomybrogelio.

Hashtag: Vivadelavega.

Excuse me.

Rogelio.

Hello.

Esteban. Hello to yourself.

I was just seeing where I sit...

For when I win.

How funny. I was just seeing where I sit for when I win Well, we can't both win.

No, we can't. Unless we tie. Which we won't.

I suppose we'll see who wins then.

Let the biggest star shine.

He's so cocky.

Okay, let's practice my acceptance speech.

I would like to thank God, for giving me all this talent.

Latin lover narrator: And while Rogelio was thanking his God, Xiomara was praying to hers.

Please, please, please let today's meeting go well.

The one and only Paulina Rubio.

My entire life I've been hoping for a chance like this.

Today is the day, Xo.

You're gonna step into your destiny.

In different shoes, of course.

You're sexy, you're not a stripper.

And pump up the lipstick a shade. Perfect.

Yes. Go, go, go.

We're screwed.

We are, we're screwed.

We are not screwed.

We lost a serbian w*r criminal.

No one even knows he was here.

Yeah, because we didn't report our lead. But this... this is crazy. What is the connection between Sin Rostro and the serbian?

I don't know.

And where the hell is the serbian?

I don't know.

Exactly. Which is why we have to report it.

We don't have to report it, we have to solve it.

Listen, I have a theory, okay?

Sin Rostro went underground, right?

Mm-hmm.

Around the same time Rafael got cancer.

What?

As soon as Rafael's better and takes over the hotel...

Sin Rostro resurfaces and there are two murders.

That's your theory? That Rafael is Sin Rostro?

It can't all be a coincidence.

Where's your evidence?

Latin lover narrator: Well, that was a problem. As he had none. Yet.

I like you, Michael.

But I am not risking my badge so you can indulge in your Rafael vendetta.

You got to let go of Jane.

This is not about Jane.

Less than 2.5 millimeters.

We want the nuchal fold to be less than 2.5 millimeters.

I'm confused. When did you go on webmd?

In the bathroom.

It just needs to be under 2.5.

If it's over, that can signal genetic abnormality.

Can you just maybe give me a ballpark?

I'm not allowed to say anything.

Only a doctor can give results.

Right. I'm sorry.

You said that several times.

It's gonna be okay.

(Mouthing)

Do you believe in God?

What?

I was just praying, and I wondered.

Uh...

I-I... I don't know.

I-I've just never been one for organized religion.

But you were raised Catholic though, right?

Yes.

Sorry, it...

Just seems like the kind of thing you talk about before a sonogram.

I was accidentally artificially inseminated.

I'll get the doctor.

Mm.

Thank you.

I just...

Well, I imagined that...

My kids would be baptized and go to Sunday school.

Sunday school? Kids hate Sunday school.

Doesn't mean they shouldn't go.

Okay, compromise.

Prep school with a religious component.

Private school? Are you serious?

Are you kidding?

Have you seen the state of public education today?

It's horrible.

Yeah, sure, there are problems.

But there are great upsides, like more diversity.

Means less of a chance of being an entitled snob.

Percentage-wise. Not you.

Okay. Everything looks great.

The fetus is around three inches long right now... about the size of a peach.

Latin lover narrator: And in that moment, all their differences faded away, and Jane and Rafael were perfectly and completely happy.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

Come on. Did you think it would last?

What the hell are you doing here?

What do you mean? This is my baby, too.

What?

Oh, no, no.

Excuse me, what's going on?

I'm sorry, my ex-wife is crazy.

You have zero claim on this baby.

You sure about that? Do you remember after the, uh... the miscarriage, when you and I were talking about maybe using a surrogate?

We drew up a pre-planned adoption contract, which stipulated that you and I would be the legal parents of the surrogate's child.

And Jane is now serving as a surrogate.

I am not a surrogate.

She's not a surrogate.

Oh, I'm sorry, did you want this baby?

Because there's a pretty clear record of the fact that you didn't, starting with your lawsuit against his sister.

Which I withdrew.

Ah. Not from the public records.

Hey, hey.

So I'm pretty sure this contract will hold up in court.

Especially since we haven't reached a divorce settlement yet.

Why are you doing this? For the money?

I'm... are you suggesting that I'm not genuinely invested in the well-being of this baby?

Because that's offensive.

No, I want to be a part of this child's life.

And I'm willing to fight for that right.

Jane, are you okay?

Yeah.

Just trying not to stress.

It's important not to stress.

At least, according to webmd.

I e-mailed my dad's lawyers.

We'll talk to them.

What if she does have a claim on our kid?

She doesn't. Believe me, all Petra wants is money.

I'll pay her off if I have to.

Is that really the way to go? To just give her money?

In this case, yes.

But she doesn't deserve it.

But that might be the only way to shut this down.

(Sighs)

You're probably wondering why I'm here.

As you may have heard through social media, I've been nominated for my second consecutive Paloma.

Congratulations.

Thanks. It's an honor just to get the recognition.

And I would love to have all three Villanueva women with me at the awards ceremony.

(Alba yelps)

(Laughs)

I'd say that's a yes.

The man is a fraud. He cannot make a proper "I'm longing for you but cannot have you" face.

Like this.

Latin lover narrator: I should point out that right at this moment Rogelio is not acting. He is, in fact, longing for Xiomara. But, alas, these two had agreed not to date, so as to not complicate Jane's relationship with her father.

I have to run. Meeting with a record producer. Wish me luck.

Come.

A hug from Rogelio is like a rabbit's foot.

Lucky, rare, and soft to the touch.

(Clears throat)

Bye. Bye.

(Chuckles)

Walk tall, Xo.

Class.

Confidence.

And shake that ass just a tiny bit.

The producers are gonna love you.

(Man screams on TV)

Petra: What's wrong?

Those stupid pirates, they have Santos tied up in dungeon.

No, I mean... what's wrong with the way I look?

I need to be downstairs, and...

Something's not right.

More red around your eyes.

Like you've been crying.

Put your hair up.

Makes you look more serious.

Petra: Okay. Better.

Come on, mother.

I need you for the sympathy vote.

(Gasps)

Seriously, baby? This is how you thank me for the job, a gambling ring?

If we have to work this telenovela after party, might as well make it fun.

Best actor, Jane's dad or Esteban?

Oh, Esteban. He's everything.

And your brother is here.

Well, here we go.

Seriously? It's like an Oscar pool.

You gonna arrest me?

I'm not gonna arrest you.

I need your help.

Look, if you think Rafael Solano's a drug dealer, arrest him.

That's the thing. I need some proof.

I got to be sure before I bring him in.

You know, 'cause he's Jane's...

(Sighs)

The father of Jane's baby.

So you're going rogue.

Dig around. See what you can find out.

200 bucks.

$350.

It was awful.

I walked in, and I could literally see his face fall.

He said he thought from my song I'd be younger.

(Sighs)

I don't know. Maybe it's a sign.

Maybe I should focus on my dance school, try to really grow it.

There's got to be lots of studio space in the city.

Jane got a story published?

Why didn't she say anything?

Woman: Pay attention.

(Over TV): This is important. Not only for my client, Petra Solano, but for all women who enter into nonbiological birth contracts.

We are pioneering a new frontier in reproductive rights.

Rafael: Enough.

Okay, so she hired a big sh*t lawyer.

That doesn't make her case more valid.

No, it doesn't. Unfortunately, it does make the prospect of shutting it down more challenging.

Okay, that's it.

We'll offer her a payout.

Oh.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Are you okay? What's going on?

No, Michael, I'm okay. It's not your responsibility.

I don't care. What-what is it?

Jane, please.

I just... you seem really upset.

Tell me why.

Please.

It's Petra.

She's making a play at custody for the baby.

What?

I know.

That doesn't make any sense.

I know.

She probably won't win, but it's just this idea of being in a long, drawn-out court case.

What does she want, money?

It has to be. She doesn't want a kid.

Okay.

Maybe I can help.

Aren't you nervous?

I mean, putting her on TV?

What if Milos sees her?

Please. Milos isn't watching local Miami news.

And it's the only way to get Rafael to settle.

(Sniffs) My God, it smells like a kielbasa factory in here.

Latin lover narrator: Ivan realized the matches were a sign. He could escape just like Santos. As soon as he saw the next episode.

Magda, I am so hungry.

(Groans)

Could...

I have some more pretzels?

You'd never guess I was the one in the wheelchair and you were the hostage.

Rafael: Wait, what are you talking about?

Zaz's m*rder is still unsolved, and, officially, Petra is still a person of interest.

I can work as an informant and gather information for the ongoing investigation.

So, what, you're just gonna wear a wire when you talk to her?

Yes.

Official police business.

And Michael can...

And you can listen in and record everything.

If I can get her on tape admitting that she will drop the custody claim for the right price, we can get this thrown out for good.

I just... I don't know if we should involve Michael.

The guy's got it out for me.

He's just trying to help.

It's a... it's a little naive.

I think this is a legitimate solution.

It could shut it down.

Look, I already worked out a number with my lawyer.

I'm gonna make her an offer, okay?

Maybe she'll accept it, maybe she'll sign the papers, and then she'll leave us alone.

And what if she says no?

Then we'll go a little higher.

Yeah, and then this will just drag on. You know it will.

There's no guarantee that she's gonna say yes.

And, honestly, I just think that throwing money at the problem is not the answer.

Did you just say "throwing money at it"?

It's a band-aid. It's not a permanent solution.

Okay, just to be clear, money is not some evil thing.

All right? It can be very helpful.

And to say that it's not, again, is just naive.

Okay, you need to stop calling me naive.

Because you're the one that married Petra.

That's the reason why we're in this situation.

All right, I asked around. If Rafael's in the drug trade, he's deep, deep underground because no one's heard of him.

(Groans)

Damn it.

On the upside, here's his wallet.

What the hell are you doing? I didn't ask you to steal this.

It's no big deal.

He lost it. He'll... Find it again tomorrow.

In the meantime, check it out, huh?

There's a key sewn in here.

Hmm? You don't sew a key into a wallet unless you're hiding something.

And I'm sending professional hair and makeup here.

My gift to you.

Ay.

You will likely be on camera when I win.

You don't look excited.

Why are you not excited?

So how was your meeting at the record label?

Qué?

That is ridiculous.

I don't know.

Maybe it's time to get realistic.

Face the fact that I missed my window.

♪ Libre, como el mismo aire, vive libre ♪
♪ Como lo hace el viento, vuela libre... ♪

Alba.

Hmm?

Mm-hmm.

Thanks, ma, but I think it's time to let it go.

Ay, mi Amor.

Oh, no. Did the meeting not go well?

Don't worry. I'm fine.

Easy.

Loose. You know.

You read my story.

I borrowed your computer, and I saw it. And I'm sorry for clicking. I shouldn't have done that. And I first want to say that I am really proud of you that they are publishing it.

Mom...

But wow. (Chuckles)

"She puts the 'loose' in Lucy"?

You might as well have called her "Xo the Ho".

Mom, I... (Sighs)

I exaggerated for comic effect.

But, I mean, is this what you really think about me?

No.

Mom, just please, listen...

Do you wish that I was somebody else?

The kind of mom that-that wears bulky Christmas sweaters and bakes a lot?

No. Of course not.

Lucy's daughter Jen seems to feel differently.

(Sighs)

Look... I get the exaggeration.

But underneath it all, is that how you feel?

I did sometimes, growing up.

You were always dating different guys.

I didn't bring them home.

Doesn't mean I didn't know about them.

And, you know, except for Anthony, no one ever really stuck.

(Sniffles)

What do you remember about Anthony?

I liked him.

He was funny, he made me laugh.

Yeah, he did.

And after he broke up with me, you were very sad.

Do you remember that?

I didn't want that to happen again, so after...

I kept things casual.

To protect me?

Yeah.

That was really nice, mom.

But enough already.

All right, with... with all the sacrificing.

I'm-I'm a grown-up, okay?

And-and you deserve to have a happy, long-term relationship.

That's what I want for you.

Thanks, Jane.

And don't worry.

I'm not going to sign that publishing consent form anyway.

Oh. I signed it for you.

What?!

I am not gonna be the reason that you miss your window.

Latin lover narrator: Oh. If only all mothers were this unselfish.

Hand me my red nail Polish. The blood red.

It is amazing the two of you can still be so civil after everything that happened with Milos.

We don't talk about Milos.

It is easier for you, no?

You don't have horrible scar.

You can still walk.

Magda: He's right, Petra.

It is not easy for me.

I'm sorry about Milos, mother.

I should have listened to you.

Yes.

You should have.

(Siren wailing)

Latin lover narrator: Okay, that seems a little dramatic.

It was only five years ago.

Latin lover narrator: Yup, you guessed it. Milos. The breakup did not go well, to say the least. As luck would have it, Petra saw a koruna on the street at that very moment, and ducked down to pick it up. Her mother, on the other hand, was not as lucky.

(Gasps)

Mother!

(Screaming)

(Car horn blaring, crash)

Petra: I will never forgive myself for that.

Never.

I know.

(Sighs)

(Sighs)

(Phone chimes)

(Sighs)

(Door opens in distance)

Passports, cash, a burner phone.

I knew it. I knew something was going on.

Now I just got to find it all again... with a warrant.

(Women laughing)

Can you imagine if you actually got the baby?

Enough.

No!

I've been dealing with telenovelas all day...

No, the show. I am watching show.

For the after party. I need a break.

I am watching this show!

Jane wants to meet.

Please.

Turn TV on.

I need to see Santos.

Okay, geez, relax.

(Crying, speaking quietly in Spanish)

Petra: I have to go meet Jane, mother.

Thanks for meeting me.

I was thrilled you reached out.

I really think we can solve this in a civil way.

I do, too.

Do you want to order food, or...?

Petra: No, thank you. I'm really not hungry.

Thanks for letting me listen in.

I just want what's best for Jane.

Me, too.

I can see why you'd be concerned.

There's a lot of criminal activity in this hotel.

Jane: Because I want to facilitate a solution.

I'm just trying to focus on Jane.

Petra: Fantastic.

A solution sounds great.

Agreed.

So, what is it you're looking for?

Uh, in terms of visitation?

No, not in terms of visitation.

Look, I can talk to Rafael, I can convince him to give you whatever you want.

Well, that's-that's fantastic.

'Cause what I really, truly want is this baby.

Well, that's not gonna happen, but I can assure you that the baby is going to be just fine... with me.

Are you sure you can learn to love a child that you never even wanted?

I am sure.

I love this child... my child.

But what's wrong with more people loving it?

More people will love it, like Rafael.

And me. See, I'm already attached to it.

I don't believe you.

You don't really know anything about me, do you?

We're actually alike, you and I.

I really, really don't think so.

You think I don't know what it means to struggle?

Just like you, it's always been me and my mother.

My father was trapped behind the iron curtain during the cold w*r.

When I was a baby, he sent me and my mother off to west Germany.

He was meant to follow.

For five years, we waited for him.

But he couldn't get out.

And he d*ed one week... one week... before the wall fell.

I'll never forget that feeling.

Losing someone, never getting the chance to know them.

(Sniffles)

That's why I'm fighting for this baby.

Nothing. Nothing.

I know. I'm sorry.

Where's Rafael?

Uh, he took-took off.

What? Why?

Uh, honestly, I don't know.

He just kind of stood up and left.

But, um, listen, I-I...

I do want to talk to you about him.

Something's going on with him, something shady.

What? What are you talking about?

I can't say.

(Laughs)

But trust me, Jane.

I only want what's best for you.

(Sighs) Rafael said that you had it in for him.

I said no.

Well, there you go. You see, he said that to cover himself in case I said something.

Michael, stop.

Jane.

Jane, listen.

No, just stop.

Something's off with this guy.

(Knocking) It's-it's open.

What's going on? Why'd you run off?

When Petra was talking about her father, did she seem like she was lying?

No. That was the one moment I thought she was telling the truth.

Exactly.

Me, too. So I came up here to check some facts.

What facts?

The iron curtain divided Europe into two separate areas from 1945 until the Berlin wall fell in November of 1989.

Why am I getting a history lesson?

Because Petra said that her father d*ed one week before the Berlin wall fell, but according to everything she ever told me and her passport, Petra was born in December of 1989.

So either she can miraculously recall events from before she was born...

And we're live from the red carpet of the 14th annual Paloma awards.

For the first time ever, we're hosting them in beautiful downtown Miami. All your favorite telenovela stars are swarming the red carpet as we speak.

And of course, one of the fiercest rivalries of the night centers around the best actor category.

I have the two front-runners here with me tonight...

Rogelio De La Vega and Esteban Santiago.

How are the two of you feeling tonight?

Wonderful. Many may think we are rivals, but we're actually very close friends.

Oh, yes?

Yes, in fact, Rogelio is like a father to me.

Which is remarkable, since we're actually the same age.

(Sighs)

I feel for Esteban.

He's tremendously overrated.

There's nowhere for him to go but down.

Sorry I'm late. There's dramatic stuff going on at the house.

Announcer: Please make your way inside.

The show is about to begin.

I need you to dig up as much as you can as quickly as you can.

(Woman speaking Spanish over TV)

Oh, there...

There, a storm coming. You see that?

We should probably go to basement.

You could take off my cuffs.

I would not run.

Nice try.

And now, best villain in a telenovela.

Get back to work. The guests will be here soon.

And now, the award we've all been waiting for, best actor in a dramatic series.

The nominees are:

Mateo Alvarado, "The Boldness of Love".

Enrique Maldonado, "Beautiful Forever".

Esteban Santiago, "The Glory and the Temptation".

And Rogelio De La Vega, "The Passions of Santos".

And the winner is...

(Drumroll)

Esteban Santiago!

(Applause)

I meant to do that.

It'll go viral.

One of those memes.

Esteban: Thank you so much to God for creating me in his image.

(Phone chirps)

Latin lover narrator: But though the award show was over, the drama was just getting started at the after party.

What's so important?

I organized this party. I need to be out there.

We hired a private investigator.

What?

The best one money could buy.

Turns out the real Petra, the one whose passport you've been carrying around... well, she d*ed in the Czech Republic in 2008.

So that leaves us with a big question.

Who the hell are you?

Ivan: Natalia.

Rafael: We'll keep digging until we uncover exactly who you are and what you're hiding, unless you sign the divorce papers and agree to stay the hell away from us and our baby.

Okay. Yes.

Latin lover narrator: It should be noted that at this moment... God or no God... it felt like a miracle. Indeed, there was something in the air that night, and it was not just the strong wind mixed with the smell of mushroom croquettes. It was something more magical.

(Gasps)

I'm sorry. I've had a little too much champagne, but you look just like Paulina Rubio.

I get that a lot.

'Cause I am Paulina Rubio.

Oh, my God.

You're just...

I'm a singer, and you're just pretty much God to me, so...

Thank you. Thank you.

What's your name?

Um, Xiomara.

Xiomara.

Or you can call me Xo.

Or, you know, whatever you want, really.

What type of music do you sing?

I sing pop, mostly.

Well, no, I-I did. Uh...

Things never really took off for me.

I actually think it's best I... I let it go, you know.

I missed my window.

If it's your calling, if it's what you're meant to do, there's no window.

Lots of people tried to tell me to give up.

What if I'd listened?

(Clicks tongue) No, chica.

If you have it, if you really want it, you do it.

I got to go. I have a big concert tonight, but... you...

You have something special.

Stick to it, okay?

So, you were right to go to Michael, and I was right to throw money at an expensive P.I.

Lesson learned.

Yeah? What is that lesson?

We're better together.

Really? Because I think the lesson is, is that we're very different, and there are a lot of things that are gonna come up because of that.

No. Refer back to my lesson.

We are better... together.

And we'll figure it out, Jane.

Whatever comes up... school, religion, or the other hundred things that we haven't thought about yet... we will figure it out.

Okay?

Why don't you tell your 14-year-old self that we're cleared for kissing, okay?

Oh, thank you.

(Both sigh)

Petra: I've lost everything.

We need to start over.

Again.

Maybe we should just stop running, just go home, and if milos finds us, then so be it.

Don't say that.

Never say that.

You took care of me then.

I will take care of you now.

Hey.

Sorry you didn't win.

I don't have the shelf space, anyway.

I-I didn't win either.

We made this wager at work about who would win best actor.

I bet on you.

You did?

Of course.

Latin lover narrator: And for a brief moment, Rogelio felt like he had won.

You're not gonna believe this.

I just met Paulina Rubio!

Are you serious?

Just now.

Outside. It was magical.

She told me not to give up on my dream.

Oh, my God, that's awesome.

(Phone chirps)

I'm very happy for you, Xiomara.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Ah.

You didn't tell Xiomara I sent you, right?

Oh, of course not, Rogelio.

Don't worry about that.

I mean, this is not you.

Doing something nice for someone and not willing to take the credit?

(Speaks Spanish)

She is.

Thank you for helping me.

Whatever you want. You know that, okay?

Really?

Will you do an appearance on one of my telenovelas?

(Chuckles, speaks Spanish)

You're so funny.

Yeah. Uh... I love you. No.

Oh. That's not gonna happen ever.

'Cause you could be whatever you want.

You could be a pirate.

Uh, ma, why don't you have a seat.

Hmm?

Yeah, maybe we should get you some water.

She's drunk.

She's the best.

(Both laugh)

Can I have some water, please?

Hey, uh, what's going on with you and Rogelio?

What do you mean?

Come on.

You guys obviously like each other.

I saw all the googly eyes.

Why don't you go for it?

We're over that commitment-phobia, remember?

Okay, I am not gonna let go of this, so you might as well tell me.

The truth is, I've been staying away from Rogelio so that he can focus on his relationship with you.

I don't want it to get complicated if things don't work out with us romantically.

Again, super sweet, mom, but enough with the sacrifices.

Not that I buy that it was completely about me, anyway.

What do you mean?

Maybe sometimes you use me as an excuse.

Because one thing I do remember about your breakup with Anthony was how sad you were.

Yeah, well, getting hurt sucks.

I know.

But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't take a sh*t at doing something that might make you really happy.

What is this about?

Nadine: Mr. Solano, we have a warrant to search a safe in this office.

A warrant? Based on what?

Based on a statement from a hotel employee who said the safe contains criminal material.

Billy: I was passing by, and I saw what looked like a stack of passports.

Latin lover narrator: And just like that, Billy's $350 became $500.

No.

(Laughs) No.

No. No way.

I'm gonna go now.

(Door closes)

(Shouts): No!

Nadine: What are you doing?

A man vanishes from the room, things are disappearing from safes.

Michael, calm down.

How am I so far behind?

Hey, hey, hey!

What am I missing?

Hey, stop!

What am I...

What is going on?

I don't know, but you need a break.

Nadine... what are you doing?

(Mechanical whirring)

What is that?

What the hell?

Latin lover narrator: Oh, wow. An unexpected twist. Meanwhile, a tipsy Alba had decided to give Petra a piece of her mind after all.

Get out!

Ivan: Please! Please call the police! I need help! I'm tied up!

Get out! Get out!

Go get help!

(Door creaks)

(Panting)

(Gasps)

Latin lover narrator: I told you the drama was just getting started.