01x01 - Pilot

[bunniefuu]

Feel like a proud show dog that didn't understand her days were numbered.

Like look at these things; just like chicken skin.

What are you talking about? Yours are okay.

Look, they're not winning any blue ribbons, okay?

But they stuck in there.

You know they maybe be a little deflated, but they're not throwing in the towel.

I like 'em.

I'm with you.

I mean, I'm not starring in a p*rn anytime soon, but I breast fed my first for five months and this is where they've landed.

I mean, it could be worse, right?

No, you know what, it could be better.

It could be better.

Look it could be better.

Val: Okay.

I think we need to rein it in here, ladies.

[Baby coos]

After breastfeeding, I think it's best that you put yourselves away.

I wasn't even breastfeeding.

It just looked refreshing.

That's weird.

You're weird, Alicia.

With your homemade diaper bag.

Baby Mabel likes her bag.

Baby Mabel does not like that bag.

She doesn't like anything yet.

Because she's a baby.

She's a baby.

Okay!

Today, I thought we'd talk about how many of you are coming up on the end of your maternity leave.

Kate, I overheard you're going back to work.

Are you excited?

Uh... yeah.

A little intimidated, I guess.

What's the trick?

To making all this work?

I'm trying to stay positive it's just...

Having it all seems a little...

Impossible. [Nervous chuckle]

I find the key is setting boundaries for yourself.

A good place to start is committing to being home for the evening routine.

Okay.

Anyone else feeling any back to work jitters?

This is a safe place?

Yeah. I've got my first open house today.

I'm not totally solid about it.

I think I might just have the teensiest little drop of postpartum.

Was driving this Morning and...

I fantasized that a car would just hit me, you know?

Just like...

[Tires screeching sound]

[Crash sound]

Oh.

Take me away from all of this, you know.

Not k*ll me. I'm not suicidal.

No.

Just...

[Laughing]

No, I'm sorry, guys, just leave me brain dead for like a week, you know.

Ten days... actually.

It just felt easier.

She's talking about a vacation?

Yes! Yes.

Like a brain dead vacation.

♪
♪ You've got your paper and your g*n ♪
♪

♪ It keeps you always on the run ♪
♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ you've got to be more on the side... ♪
♪

Male reporter:... the bear has been missing since last night.

Authorities are urging all surrounding neighborhoods to be cautious and to report all sightings...

Hm, yeah. Just for today maybe skip the park.

For Olly's sake and Charlie's.

So, I left a pretty detailed schedule.

But I will be back for bath time.

So, do not give him a bath.

Because I will be doing that.

[Starts to sing in Filipino and claps]

Babies like that, huh?

Hey, that's a pretty song.

Why don't you try singing to him more.

I don't like singing.

I thought you had to get going.

I do... okay!

Mommy's gotta go to work and you can spend the day with Rebecca.

Yay. Rebecca!

Yay!

Nathan: You're gonna be late.

Kate: Yup. I'm just saying goodbye.

It's a traditional custom here on earth.

All right.

We say goodbye.

All right. Goodbye. I love you.

Bye.

Bye bye.

Bye.

[Door closes]

[Clears throat]

When you have a bond like this, hard to break to break it up.

They're gonna fire you, Kate.

All right, cool. Here we go.

♪

[Elevator dings]

♪

Well, would you look who is off the bench.

Richard! [Laughs]

Great to see ya.

Uh...

Okay. Okay.

All right. Okay.

That's good.

Hard to believe you're somebody's Mommy now, huh?

Yeah, don't I know it.

Gotta say thought, it feels real good to be in here.

Oh, girls got you some cupcakes or something.

They're around here somewhere.

Did you want them, I can find them.

They're probably in the kitchen.

Oh I'm sorry, Ms. Foster.

I am your new assistant, Rosie.

Hey, hey, nice to meet you, Rosie. You can call me Kate.

Kate. Kate, Kate, Kate. Okay.

So, HR tells me you have a room to do your...

Milking thing.

Yes, this office.

Oh, that'll...

That'll put on quite a show.

Yeah, I think I'll use the bathroom.

Hmm.

Hey, speaking of, I hear Happy Farms Dairy is coming in.

Yeah.

President passed away leaving the wife in charge, and she's making a tour of PR firms.

Would love a chance to pitch.

Never felt closer to being a cow myself, so if it's not already...

Mo: Covered?

Yeah, I've been researching Farms all week.

Kate, I want you to meet Mo.

He's a new VP.

VP, huh?

Mo Daniels. Vasero and Burns?

They poached me.

He's been f*ring on all cylinders.

Just try to live up to the legend of Kate Foster.

You've got quite a legacy around here.

Oh, thanks. Yeah.

I can't tell you how strange it is to get pregnant right at the top of my game.

Uh...

[Laughs]

Yeah, the only thing that'd keep me out of these offices, would be a fire.

Yeah, well look, I know you've got it covered, but if you would like a female perspective today, with Happy Farms, I'd be happy to be your second.

Hey, that sounds good. Mo?

Absolutely. I'll send you some materials.

Great! Can't wait to sink my teeth in.

I'm gonna get some coffee in me.

See you guys at the meeting.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, it's the kitchen...

I know where the kitchen is.

Yeah, you already... know.

Um, so check with my girl.

I think the meeting is 4-ish.

Oh, and that'll run what, like an hour, or?

I don't know. Why? You got somewhere to be?

Sorry yeah, I'm just trying to be home by bath... time.

Bath time, huh?

Hm. I prefer showers, but to each their own.

Should be fine.

Thank you.

♪

[Sighs] [Keys tap]

Honestly, how long does it take?

Not you, you're doing great.

Is everything cool, down there?

What's happening? I've got something, right?

Anne, you're pregnant.

No.

I'll try that again.

Can you just check again, because I had a baby eight months ago.

She's barely alive yet.

Well, it's lucky for you and this baby, that you came in to see me.

So you can change your behaviour.

You taken up smoking by any chance?

No.

I have been partaking in other forms of medicine, though.

Psychiatrist or not, you know the drill, Anne.

You're going to have to cut all that stuff out.

Completely.

Hmm.

♪

Frankie: I think that's havarti.

Might be some gouda in there, if we're lucky.

Oh, don't see any.

[Plane buzzes overheard]

Right, so...

Uh, central vac.

Subzero fridge.

This kitchen really, really has it all.

It's pretty perfect.

We heard a couple planes going by.

Is this on a flight path?

Ah yeah, you think a plane door's gonna fall from the sky? Just... [Crashing sounds]

Right through your bedroom ceiling?

Well, from that altitude, it's gonna go through you like Taffy.

Excuse me?

Well, you're not gonna survive that one.

Tell ya that much. [Laughs]

Hey babe. How's your day goin'?

We're having a great time. Aren't we, Rhoda?

Hi, Mommy. Hi, Mommy. Hi, Mommy.

How was the open house?

Oh yeah, it's fantastic. It's just...

Packed in there. Lots of serious interest.

Then why are you outside?

Because I've been politely asked to remain outdoors.

[Laughs]

Who asked you that?

Oh, I don't know. A few people.

Anyway, it's no big deal.

Are you okay, babe? You seem out of it.

Are you kidding? No, I'm like, in it.

[Baby crying]

Like, deep in.

Okay, baby.

I'll call you back.

Have a good day!

[Hangs up]

I've gotta be back in 15 minutes.

Yeah, I know, I've just gotta pay this thing.

You okay?

Yes, I, stop hounding me.

Okay, what's going on right now?

I'm sensing something.

What is with the interrogation?

I just need to eat. And not take pills.

And pay this worthless pain-in-the-tits, meter.

[Meter whirs]

Oh there.

♪

Wait, why can't you take pills?

Hold up.

What? What is it?

Are you? Not again!

What, if you've got something to say, why don't you just spit it out.

Aren't we above that, who says it first?

Above what, Kate?

You're pregnant.

Yeah, I am.

Congratulations.

Thanks, I'm thrilled about it.

Hmm. Oh yeah, this is gonna be good.

This was a good call.

Kate: Uh-huh.

You tell Lionel?

No, too nervous.

Never wanted three. Two and through.

Well, you know you've got options, right.

What the hell's the matter with you?

Why would you even say that?

I'm just saying you're not stuck.

If two kids are enough, great, you know.

No need to ruin the marriage and break the bank on a whoopsie.

I just... got to know these two personalities that we made from scratch, you know?

Child: No! No! No!

Shut it, you monster. Your mother's a g*dd*mn angel.

Thank you.

Makes things a little more complicated, that's all.

[Breast pump whirs]

[Phone rings]

Hello?

Yes, this is Kate.

Um no, I'm not busy at all.

Yes, I did. I did read about that account.

[Toilet flushing]

Ah no, that was just um...

They're doing some plumbing on the building.

Can I call you back?

♪

No, no, no, no, no.

Oh sh*t.

Easy does it.

Oh God, all right, I am killin' it.

Everything okay? Because I...

I just need some paper towels. I had a spill.

Of course, yeah.

Just checking though. You got Mo's memo...

That the meeting got moved up to 3?

What memo? I never saw a memo.

Uh, I put it on your desk at lunch.

Well, it's not there now, and it's 3:20.

Can you give me some paper towels?

Yeah, mhm.

sh*t.

Okay, okay.

No!

All right.

I swear I left it on your desk.

Oh um, did you see the memo because I put it right...

So weird it was right there.

Yeah, well. Yeah, I don't have time.

To watch you play detective, or any of this Tom Foolery.

You're making me look ridiculous.

Mo: With the company moving in this new and might I add, brave, direction, I believe it's your moment to showcase dairy as a woman would.

This should be good.

Wholesome.

Maternal.

Sweet.

I believe this is the moment for Happy Farms Dairy, to bring women together. Everywhere.

What the hell does that even mean?

Is that it?

No, no, no. Of course not. Mo?

I um...

Yeah, I had the design team put together some images.

Yeah, I think I get the idea.

Yeah, Mrs. Sheffield, what Mo's pitching, is only part of it.

Is that breast milk on your shirt?

It is.

Look, Mo's right. Women are watching.

But not just any woman’s point of view will work here.

But yours would.

Your history, your face, actually.

My face?

Oh no, people want their dairy with sunny farm animals on it, not old ladies.

[Richard chuckles]

People want a story.

Consumers are familiar with your product, but they don't know that you, unlike your husband, were raised on a farm.

And at the age of seven you were pulling those hours, while your husband inherited the company.

My biggest accomplishment at seven was microwaving cheese on to chips.

Nachos.

Mhm.

Look, not only do you speak to women, but you've got the calloused hands to back it up.

Hmm.

Yes, my husband did inherit the company from his grandfather.

And his grandmother wasn't even allowed in a meeting like this.

So when I came along they thought I was cracked in the head.

He couldn't milk a cow, but he stood by me.

Sounds like a smart man.

Yes, he was.

Mrs. Sheffield, if this is a route you feel comfortable taking, I'd be happy to put together a detailed plan for you.

Yeah.

Lovely.

Good.

Richard: Great to meet you.

Mrs. Sheffield: Yes, thank you very much.

Richard: Lovely to see you.

Pleasure.

[Door opens]

Nice catch, Kate.

Mo, take note. People want a narrative.

Kate, you ready to take the lead on this?

Yeah, you bet.

Mo, it was a good idea, she just needed more nurturing.

Richard: Okay, come on.

Let's take 5, dive right in. Natalie!

["Ave Maria" playing on piano]

♪
♪

[Birds chirp]

What the...?

What the hell are you?

["Ave Maria" playing]

[Running footsteps]

[Gasping]

Oh my God.

What a peaceful way to go.

[Exhales]

So... [Clears throat]

You guys feelin' that house?

It's got a pool.

♪

[Kate laughing]

[Phone chimes]

♪

[Rebecca singing in Filipino]

[Baby says "bubble"]

♪

Hey babe, did you order anything? I'm starving.

Where's the kids?

[Wine seal cracks]

Where? Downstairs?

[Wine pouring]

Mmm.

[Exhales]

What?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Okay, you got me in the damn patient's chair.

[Sighs] How does that make you feel?

Oh my god.

All right, I got a feeling this is about that loan I took out? Is this what I'm picking up?

Yeah, I get it. I can be an excessive spender.

I get where you're coming from.

But you have to trust me when I say, this is gonna work out.

Okay, I can't do this. We can't do this and...

I'll take care of it.

Good. That's initiative.

What are you gonna take care of, exactly?

You don't want to know. I'll just um...

I got it. Don't worry about it.

It's fine.

God, these little bastards are so good.

What are you talking about? You hate those things.

Except for when you're...

[Book thuds closed]

Ah... are you...?

Was it margarita night?

I'm so sorry. I don't... I have no idea.

I don't know uh...

This is amazing.

What?

Baby, this is how I grow.

Right?

We got married, you were totally out of my league, so, I got cooler.

We couldn't afford this place.

So, you know what, I went out and I got a better job.

I don't know how I'm gonna take care of three kids.

I honestly have no clue, but I promise you, that I will rise to the occasion, like I always do.

Because baby...

I'm a grower.

[Sighs]

I love when you're soft like this.

Oh, shut up.

[Laughs]

Okay, so there's no second date?

She stunk like neediness.

Aw, man. I hate that. I get it all the time.

No.

Mo: Aren't you like, 17?

No, I'm 26.

You're 26. Show us your ID.

Do not pick on him, it's like picking on a chihuahua.

Okay.

[All laugh]

Shouldn't you be at home right now, putting your baby to bed, or something?

That's right, Kate. Did you have a hard out?

Well, you guys need me here. The work's not done.

Ooh. Nice priorities.

Look, my kid's not exactly being robbed of the good life.

You remember the good life, Mo.

Breastfeeding off your poor mother, 'til you could tie your own shoes.

All: [Laugh]

He does.

Mo: Once again, I breastfed for a normal amount of time.

Down girl, we're just messin' with ya.

Your baby calling nanny "Mom," yet?

You think she likes it?

All: [Laugh]

[Kate crying]

You okay, Kate?

Yeah, I'm fine. [Crying]

sh*t, Kate. I was just f*cking with you, you know?

It's just that he uh...

He said his first word today.

He said "bubble".

He's never even seen a bubble.

It...

And I missed it. That moment's gone.

[Sniffles]

Look, maybe you should go home.

I wanna work.

[Sniffles]

Okay.

♪
♪ You terrify me ♪
♪ we've still not kissed and yet I've cried ♪
♪ you got too close and... I pushed and pushed ♪
♪ hoping you bite so I could run ♪
♪ run and that I did but through the dust ♪
♪ you saw those teeth marks ♪
♪ they weren't all yours ♪
♪ you had been trusted to a history ♪
♪ and had not worked for me ♪
♪ into a history from which I could not flee ♪
♪ so go on, shake me, shake until I give it up ♪
♪ without no doubt, baby ♪
♪ I know that we could make some love ♪
♪ so go and challenge me ♪
♪ take the reins and see ♪
♪ watch me squirm, baby ♪
♪ you are just what I need ♪
♪ and I've never played a fair game... ♪

[Bear knocks over trash can]

Oh no.

[Bear breathes heavily]

[Bear grunting]

[Bear growling]

Hey... buddy.

[Bear growls]

[Ferocious growl]

[Frightened panting]

[Kate screams at bear]

[Low growl]

[Scared panting]

[Low growl]

Okay.

[Catching her breath] Okay.

Hey, are you okay?

[Kate screams]

[Panting] Okay.

[Laughing]

Oh no.

Hey... hey it's okay.

[Humming Filipino song]

♪ The Filipino song... ♪
♪ How... ♪
♪ How does it go? ♪

[Humming]

♪