[ARCHIE] Previously on Riverdale...
I'm your uncle Claudius.
Daddy never said anything about having a brother.
The Lodges. Have I dreamed of getting my revenge on them.
Now, now, Claudius. First things first.
Nana, then Cheryl.
Effective immediately, Southside High School is shut down!
Okay guys, let's not overreact.
Hiram is like Dracula.
He's snapping up properties from all over Riverdale to expand his empire and feed.
Twilight Drive-in, Sunnyside Trailer Park, Southside High and now, Pops Chocolate Shop.
Southside High is gonna be turned into...
A private for-profit prison.
We are leaving and we are leaving now!
Dad, I'm gonna stay.
It's tradition. It's been in my family going back generations.
Now, Archie, we come first.
If it's the only way I can get Chic to open up...
But catfishing him?
When you wouldn't submit to the DNA test, I found some of your dental floss, and sent it to the lab.
You're not who you say you are, Chic.
[JUGHEAD] One sheet of paper.
That's all it took.
To confirm everything Betty had feared...
That she let a dangerous stranger into her house.
This is why you didn't want to take the DNA test, isn't it?
Because you knew what the results were gonna say.
That you had no Blossom blood!
Of course I don't. I'm not a Blossom. I don't even know them.
Blossom blood is Cooper blood, Chic.
My dad was a Blossom which means you would have tested positively for Blossom DNA, but you didn't, because you're an impostor!
The truth is Chic's DNA doesn't match because Hal isn't his father.
But I am your mother, you understand me?
Hang on, what?
What? Then who is Chic's father?
Chic's my son!
And whoever the father is, is not gonna be a part of our lives.
So there's no reason to open old wounds that have healed many times over!
Now, for our Register readers, why would you, Hermione Lodge, run for Mayor of Riverdale?
Every year, our population decreases.
More and more businesses close. We're at a deficit.
We need to change that equation before it's too late.
That is why Lodge Industries has secured a bid for a maximum security prison on the Southside.
Now, that means jobs, economic growth, stability.
It'll give Riverdale its future back.
You know, I have to ask.
You're building a prison on the bones of a school.
Are you okay with that?
Losing a school is a tough pill to swallow, but once our correctional facility is up and running, a quarter of our earnings are gonna be funneled directly into education.
We are building a brand new wing at Riverdale High.
And Veronica, are you gonna follow in your mother's footsteps and run for Student Body President in the upcoming election?
Maybe. If I don't have my hands full, campaigning for my mom.
I'm excited to show Riverdale that she's more than just a housewife.
And speaking of housewives...
We have a very special guest.
Bravo's very own Andy Cohen.
Mr. Cohen, what brings you to Riverdale?
I'm here to endorse my great friend, Hermione Lodge.
She's a very savvy businesswoman.
She's always three steps ahead of everyone around her.
She's a fighter too.
She doesn't give up.
I'll love to have her in my corner.
Kevin just died and went to clubhouse heaven.
Thank you for letting me invite him today, Mom.
Of course. Any and all good will during this election will go a long way.
This campaign isn't gonna be easy.
Especially since we had to lead with your father's plans for the prison.
Certain people in town and in school are gonna see us as the enemy.
So after the celebrity endorsement, let's keep our heads down and let the storm pass.
- Color me a wallflower.
Dad, I know you think a prison is a bad idea for Riverdale, but Mr. and Mrs. Lodge really have thought this through.
A prison would rip the soul of this town, especially the Southside, so I'm not gonna support that plan.
Or Hiram and Hermione.
I'm severing all ties with Lodge Industries and SoDale.
- All of it. I'm done.
- What? Just like that?
- Will they even let you walk away?
I'm not asking his permission.
They will, or they'll have a hell of a fight on their hands.
I just loved your spin piece in the paper, Olivia Pope.
Can we not, Jughead?
Did you know about Southside High closing? Or the prison?
Of course not. That was all her parents' doing. Right, V?
She didn't know, Jughead, okay? So, back off.
Fine. I have to conserve my energy anyhow.
I'm going on a hunger strike to protest Southside High closing and to get it reopened.
[LAUGHS] I'm sorry, man. It's just...
You're, like, always eating. I mean, good luck with that, but...
Hey, it's Jughead's prerogative to protest peacefully, so we're gonna support that, aren't we?
- Oh, hey, Ethel.
For your crimes against the town of Riverdale, for everything that you and your family have done and continue to do, we find you guilty.
Your sentence is this.
The chilling thing is Ethel went through the trouble of bringing that milkshake here from Pop's.
I mean, how mad is she?
My dad is responsible for the Muggs family losing basically everything.
And he still hasn't made amends, so...
[SIGHS] Ethel has a right to be upset.
So do you.
Are you sure you're okay?
I'm impressed. I'd want to rip Ethel's head off.
As my mom keeps saying, this is not the time for drama and flying off the handle.
I just need to... [BREATHES DEEPLY]
Take deep breaths, keep smiling, turn the other cheek.
Give Ethel a wide berth.
I heard you got a face full of dairy.
I've got some nuts to top off that shake if you want.
Leave her alone, Reggie.
You do not want to push me right now, Reggie.
One question I gotta ask, as future Student Body President.
What are the odds your dad's the first inmate in that prison he's building?
[MUFFLED] Oh, man... That's...
- ...for your mom.
[GASPS] Who's there?
Oh, don't be ridiculous, Cheryl.
No one was trying to break into your room last night.
You're imagining things.
I swear, sometimes you're worse than Nana Rose.
I know what I heard and saw.
Claudius, now that you're here, we should talk about you taking over Nana's stewardship of the cereal business.
That factory is mine! I'm not dead yet, you vultures!
Oh, Mother! Now, come, come, come, let's not get too upset.
Have some more of Penelope's tea.
It's a special blend that she makes.
We're feeling a little bit calmer this morning?
I'm drink my High Point Decaffeinated.
So you won't be punching a boy today?
Again, I'm sorry, Mom.
Maybe if you'd offered Mr. Muggs a job at the prison, all of this could have been avoided.
No, no, no. No, mija.
We tell you what to do.
And right now, we're telling you again...
- Keep your head in the sand.
- Before it gets cut off.
We need you to be our good, obedient little girl.
You can do that, right?
Friends, I have an exciting announcement to make.
I'm running for Student Council President against Reggie "The Misogynist" Mantle.
[GRUNTS] You've got to be kidding me.
If yesterday's dramatic events taught me anything, it's that Veronica Lodge is not a victim.
Nor will she ever allow herself to be one.
Your parents are taking over Riverdale and now you want to take over our school? So what is this?
Part of Mommy and Daddy's evil bidding?
Jug, I get that you're in a bad mood because you haven't eaten in...
Actually, Jughead, my parents think I should avoid the spotlight.
- But I was born for elected office.
V, if you want to be President, you've got our vote.
Yeah, Team Ronnie all the way.
B? As the Thelma to my Louise, I can't imagine doing this with anyone else.
Will you be my running mate?
Of course, V. I'd be honored.
Amaze! B and V!
Now, that's a team you can believe in.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, I doubt there's any way you amateurs are gonna top that.
So practice is over, Vixens.
Inner circle Vixens, hang back. You know who you are.
In honor of Toni joining our squad, I think we should celebrate with a mandatory slumber party at Thistlehouse.
Fancy dressing gowns are appreciated.
You've all seen The Beguiled, right?
Dinner at : . Parlor games to follow.
And there's nothing I can say to change your mind?
'Fraid not. I just want to get out of this thing, Hermione.
As quickly, cleanly as I can.
You go about your business, I go about mine.
And I will talk to Hiram.
Of course, you know we'll need to get our lawyers involved.
Yeah, yeah. I kind of figured that.
What can you tell me about Jughead's hunger strike?
Yes, I heard about that.
Jughead loves a political crusade almost as much as he does a burger.
From the contact we've had, your friend seems to live in a fantasy world of ideals and theoreticals.
What if Southside High were to reopen?
I, on the otheothand, live in the real world.
I see what needs to be done and I do it.
I think you do too, Archie.
I'm accelerating our timeline on
Southside High and I was wondering if you could send Jughead a message.
Yeah, whatever you need, Mr. Lodge, but...
But why you?
Well, I think it'll soften the blow to hear it coming from a friend.
Hiram's trying to tear down Southside High by the end of this week?
He's supposed to give the neighborhood at least a six weeks' notice.
Who'd he pay off? Can I have another water, please, Pop?
Jug, my dad got shot, right here in Pops, because Riverdale was sliding off the deep end.
And if Mr. Lodge's plan can shore things up and help make Riverdale more secure for us and our families, then I think that's a good thing in my book.
Besides, why do you care so much?
You were only at Southside High for like, four days!
You remember that I was raised on the Southside, right?
My mom, my dad, Jellybean...
That neighborhood is the last tangible piece I have of them until your dad comes in with his bulldozers.
My dad's actually against this whole thing.
He's pulling out of his deal with the Lodges over it.
You're choosing Hiram's side over his.
We see things differently, okay? And it makes me sick.
Kind of like when you and your best friend are two trains running on the same track in opposite directions, destined to collide?
Inner circle, Cousin Betty?
I didn't just bring you to Thistlehouse for a girls' slumber party.
The truth is I'm terrified of being alone here.
There's a stranger in this house.
My uncle Claudius, he's as mad as the sea, and ever since he blew in, I feel like I'm in mortal peril.
Wait, I'm confused. Is this real or are we playing a game?
All too real, TT.
I feel like they're plotting against me and Nana Rose.
Mumsy cultivates esoteric herbs in the conservatory.
Tannis root, jimsonweed. I'm afraid to eat for fear of being poisoned.
Cheryl, are you sure you're not imagining things?
Well, if she is, Josie, then maybe I am too.
There's a stranger in my life as well.
Chic. With him lurking behind every corner, my house feels...
I didn't want to invite all the girls tonight.
But I knew my hideous mother would never allow me to invite just you.
Which is... what I craved.
[OFFICER] A fall like that should have killed her.
- She's a lucky bird.
- Yes, that she is.
Poor thing loses her senses at nightfall.
It's classic Sundowner's Syndrome.
Cheryl, what is it?
He's wearing my father's pajamas.
- My uncle.
Toni... I think they pushed my nana down the stairs.
I think I'm next.
All this contract stuff with the Lodges.
Time to call in the big guns.
[SIGHS] I wish you'd called me in earlier, Fred, before you gave the Lodges % of Anderson Construction.
Mr. Lodge said he'll work this out. He'll keep his word.
[SCOFFS] Yeah. Son...
Your mother and I have known the Lodges a lot longer than you have.
- Meaning what, Dad?
It's okay. I better get to school anyway.
I'm helping Veronica with her campaign.
Are we still on for lunch, Mom?
Hands where I can see them.
Here you go. Now remember, vote Lodge-Cooper.
[SCOFFS] Okay, who's next?
The cupcakes have been flown in from Magnolia Bakery in New York but the kisses, however, are locally sourced.
Uh, five minute hydration break.
Sexualizing the election, Veronica?
Well, it might get you the boys, but you can forget about the girls.
Right now, I'm only interested in one girl. You.
Look, I know it's long overdue, but I wanna make reparations.
So I'm working it out with my parents, and you can tell your dad to expect a great job offer very, very soon.
This isn't a demolition notice.
It's a notice of extermination.
We've already said our goodbye to Southside, Jughead.
Today, it's Southside High.
Tomorrow, it's the world.
Everything that makes the Southside home is gonna disappear.
If we roll over now, it's all over.
- It's just a building, Jug.
- No! Toni, it's the soul of the Southside.
They fought and died trying to protect that land.
Our parents fought to keep it safe during the riots.
Now it's our turn. It's our time.
This is our fight. So who's with me?
Who's ready to go to war?
Archie, I really hate to see you and your father fighting.
We're not, Mom.
And look, you and Veronica, it's your first real relationship...
I just wanna make sure that you're not being...
To align yourself with her family against your better judgment.
It's not like that. Okay?
Veronica is an amazing person.
- I'm sure she is.
But I guess I'm just saying, so's your dad.
- [KEVIN] Just...
- [CHIC] The best you can get.
- [KEVIN] Can't get any more...
- [CHIC CHUCKLES]
- [KEVIN GASPS]
- What the hell's going on here?
Chic invited me over. Cookie?
How do you guys even know each other? [LAUGHS]
It's a funny story. [EXHALES]
Kevin and I have been continuing our online chats.
Imagine my surprise when he finally told me it all started as a catfishing scheme you cooked up.
- Kev, you sold me out.
- I felt bad.
Okay, Kev, you need to leave.
I need to talk to my brother alone. Right now.
Betty, you're really kicking me out, right now?
- It's okay, Kev. I'll catch you later.
Do not mess with my friends.
What do you think I'm doing here, Betty?
Clearly, there's something you want.
Some void you're looking to fill here.
Like brother, like sister, right?
"We share the same darkness."
Isn't that what you said?
Yeah, I guess I was wrong.
You know nothing about my darkness.
But you will.
Josie? Look, I know things haven't been smooth sailing between us.
Are we even on speaking terms, Veronica?
I mean, you did steal the Pussycats from me.
Borrowed them after you dumped them.
What do you want, Veronica?
A celebrity endorsement for my campaign.
Yours. And before you say no...
Andy Cohen is a very old, very good friend of the family.
Okay, my ears are perked Because I never miss an episode of Watch What Happens: Live.
- How would you like to be on it?
- As a special guest.
- Okay, if you can make that happen...
Consider yourself endorsed.
My point is, Hermione, some may read this document as exploitative.
Come on now, Mary. Now, that's not fair.
Look, fair would be an immediate and compensated release from the contract.
- How does that sound, everyone?
- [PHONE BUZZING]
Oh, sorry. It keeps buzzing.
- [PHONE BUZZING]
- Hiram here.
They're doing what?
Yeah, don't worry. I'm on it.
Well, well, well. The cavalry's finally here.
Guess that means we've got Hiram's attention.
Are you nuts?
Chaining yourself to this place?
- They're gonna tear it down in two days, dude.
Not unless Hiram wants the blood of eight young Serpents on his hands.
We're not going anywhere.
Go and tell your boss we said that.
Betty, what... [BREATHING HEAVILY]
You think you're the only one who can scare people by being crazy?
You may have fooled my mother, but not me.
I'm gonna bring you down.
Because I catch bad men.
I caught Clifford Blossom.
I caught the Sugarman.
I caught the Black Hood.
And you know what they all have in common? They're dead.
Consider yourself warned.
God, why didn't you call me last night, Jug?
I would have brought you and your crew blankets.
You would have tried to stay the night.
Are you sure you're not gonna get arrested for trespassing or protesting without a permit?
Oh, that's the beauty of all this, Betty.
See, if Sheriff Keller and his goons try and manhandle a bunch of teens peacefully trying to save their former school, it's just gonna look ugly.
Not to mention, probably go viral, which... at this point, it is publicity I would welcome.
Also, no one's gonna mess with those guys over there.
I have some Student Council obligations with Veronica, but I'll be back later tonight, okay?
Go get 'em, Tracy Flick.
We live in uncertain times, but here's one thing I'm very certain of...
My girl Ronnie here, along with her running mate, Betty Cooper, has my vote to be Riverdale High's next President and Vice President.
And of course, we remind everyone, especially the women, to vote and be heard this election.
[ALL WHOOPING AND CHEERING]
♪ Now, you have heard of women's rights ♪
♪ And how we've tried to reach new heights ♪
♪ If we're all created equal, that's us too ♪
- [ALL CHEERING]
- [SINGERS VOCALIZING]
♪ Well, sure, some men bowed down and called us Mrs ♪
♪ Let us hang the wash out and wash the dishes ♪
♪ But when the time rolled around to elect a president ♪
♪ What did they say, sister ♪
♪ Oh, we were suffering until suffrage ♪
♪ Not a woman here could vote, no matter what age ♪
♪ Then the th Amendment struck down that restrictive rule, yeah ♪
Okay, what's going on?
- Where did you get all this information?
- Does it matter?
It's the truth, isn't it?
I don't understand.
I told you that we were making amends, that your dad would get a job offer.
You mean, your half-hearted bribe?
Yeah. Too little, too late.
This is insane.
- Thanks for the intel, Josie.
- No problem.
The Lodges hurt a lot of people this year.
Your family, my family...
We girls, we gotta to stick together.
That day in the student lounge when Weatherbee announced that Southside High was closing, you acted like you didn't know.
When my parents asked me to help them, I didn't feel like I could say no.
Of course you could've.
You could've told your parents that you didn't want to be their teen accomplice, or you could have told us the truth.
Instead, you just played us like fools!
No, I was just trying to keep them honest!
That's why I started working with them. Betty, you have to believe me.
Even if I dil I can't be your running mate anymore. You know that, right?
[SCOFFS] I can't trust you, V.
Rough day on the campaign trail?
- How did you find out about that?
- Weatherbee called.
He also read me the flyer that's been going around school.
Now do you see why we asked you to keep a low profile?
And instead, you're running for Student Council President. Why?
I'm out there every day, facing what you and Daddy have done, what we've done.
And maybe, if I'm their President, people at school like Ethel Muggs or Jughead or even Betty will stop looking at me like I'm just the daughter of criminals, like I'm a criminal too.
We're out there fighting a holy war, Mom.
I need something I can use as a shield against everything that's coming our way.
Protection from everybody out there who hates us, who's out for our blood.
Stop right there, young lady. Come in here now!
Is it true that you snuck into your brother's room last night to torment him with a Zippo lighter?
And what exactly is this for?
Oh, my God, you creep! What did you do, go through my dresser drawers?
I was looking for the lighter as proof and found all your secret toys.
Why, in God's name, do you have this cabaret wig?
She wears it when she has s*x with Jughead!
Is that true, Elizabeth?
How would you even know that?
- I was guessing.
Betty, what... Is it, is it true? Are you...
Are you and Jughead...
Yeah, Mom. We are.
Last man standing.
What happened to no Serpent left behind?
Ah, they were claimed by frostbite.
They'll be back after some coffee. They'll warm up.
Too bad. I got a dozen burgers.
Guess they're all yours now.
Come on, boy. It's just you and me.
I'm not gonna tell anyone you broke your hunger strike.
So, uh... [SIGHS]
Just like clockwork, I got a call from Hiram.
What's he offering this time?
You know how they're saying SoDale will mostly be low income housing?
Well, apparently, there'll be a few penthouses at the top.
Would be more than enough space for all of us. Your mom, Jellybean...
Just like you always wanted.
Just imagine me, standing on that balcony and looking over a prison...
Right in the same spot that all my friends and I used to go to school.
And Jellybean, growing up in a town where...
Best hope, or only hope aside from getting the hell out, is to work at the prison?
It's not right.
What'd you say to him?
Nothing. I hung up on his ass and went to Pop's and got some burgers.
I was hoping to see Jughead while I was in town.
He's still at Southside High, Mom, chained up like a lunatic.
Arch, you might not believe in what he's fighting for...
I'm not sure he's fighting for anything, Dad. [SIGHS]
I think he's mostly fighting against Mr. Lodge.
Like a lot of people in this town who are afraid.
- Afraid? Afraid of what?
Afraid of having a vision, of seeing what has to done and doing it.
I hope that you're not referring to your father, Archie.
This man who broke rocks when he was in high school, to support his family when his dad was sick.
A man who saw what had to be done and did it.
And built a business out of nothing.
One that pays for this house and the food you eat every day.
And for your information, your father had and has a vision for Riverdale.
One that doesn't, thank God, end up with everyone working in a penal colony.
Now, you don't have to side with your dad, okay?
You can side with Hiram Lodge, even though he's a crook, and has no intention of letting your father out of that contract, by the way.
You can do that. That is your right. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and listen to you disrespect him!
Betty, I have to ask...
Are you being safe with Jughead?
Yes, Mom. Of course.
Well, that's something.
Because look, when I was your age, I wasn't always.
But you need to be, and I am very well acquainted with how alluring the Jones men are.
Whoa. Wait, Mom...
Did you and FP...
I mean, is it possible that FP is Chic's dad?
But Chic is a part of our family.
He's your brother. I know that he's odd...
and damaged. I see that, I'm not blind.
But for the past years, he hasn't had anyone to love him.
Mom, don't forget what he did.
I will never forget, Betty.
But Chic needs us.
Any updates on my nana?
Yes, we just got her panel back.
There was a trace amount of a paralytic toxin in her bloodstream.
Tannis root, which is strange because it's so rare.
But as your mother and uncle explained it, they've caught your Nana on more than one occasion chewing bits of tannis root she grows in your greenhouse.
So, it's more of her Sundowner's Syndrome.
We'll keep her for observation another day, then she should be well enough to return home.
To my mother and uncle? No, Dr. Masters, you don't understand...
Cheryl! There you are.
Looking a little worse for wear.
Poor dear, hasn't slept in days.
Why don't we stop bothering Dr. Masters and I'll take you straight home?
Mom says we should bury the hatchet.
So for her sake, how about a truce?
Why should I believe you when all you've done is try to get rid of me?
If I really wanted to get rid of you, Chic, I would go down to the Sheriff's office and explain to him how you brained a man in our kitchen.
You're not gonna do that.
You see, I never touched that body, Betty.
Or the car. Or went through his phone, or called his contacts. I didn't go to the sewer pipe.
It's not my fingerprints or hair they're gonna find.
You know, maybe I should call the police, tell them what sort of things my sister's capable of doing.
You wouldn't dare.
You know, I don't think I'm comfortable being in the same room as someone who's done those sorts of things.
It scares me, Betty.
You scare me. Can't you see that?
You're scaring me, Betty. You're scaring me!
I think I figured it out.
You paralyzed Nana Rose with the tannis root.
And then pushed her down the stairs.
You've gone mad.
That's all there is to it.
You have lost your mind and you leave us no choice.
What do you mean, no choice?
But it's all right.
We're gonna make you all better.
[WHISPERS] All better.
Every hour that passes that Jughead is out there is bad for business.
It's time to remove Jughead and his fellow Serpents by force.
Grown-ups going after teenagers?
Wouldn't that be bad for business?
If Sheriff Keller and his men do it, yes.
But boys, led bravely by you?
The wrestling team. No one would be too upset by that.
I'm sorry. I won't.
Archie, you made a promise to me.
An oath to this family in this very room.
If you break it, there will be consequences.
So you'll help me?
But I hope you can prove your loyalty to me in return.
Hmm. And how would I do that?
By releasing my dad from all commitments to Lodge Industries.
[CHANTING] Save our school! Save our school!
- [CHANTING CONTINUES]
- [THUNDER RUMBLING]
Cops may let you by, Red, but you come in here acting like a big man and I will knock you down.
Dad, don't! They'll throw you in jail. Don't give him an excuse.
I'm sorry, Jughead.
I'm not gonna fight you, Archie.
It may have taken a couple of days, but now people know what Hiram's doing, what's happening here.
This fight is not gonna go away. We're not gonna go away.
So go on, cut us down.
I want them to see you do it.
You think it even made any difference?
- Us freezing our asses off?
Every revolution starts somewhere.
'Cause I've been thinking, we lost Southside High.
I don't want to lose Riverdale High too.
And you've not heard more unlikely words come from my mouth, Betty, but...
I wanna run for Student Body President.
And I want you to be my co-president.
- I know that you and Veronica...
- Just like that?
- Just like that.
I'm in, Jug.
There is no me and Veronica.
You have to do me a favor, though.
You have to let me stay here.
I can't stay in the same house as Chic anymore.
What's going on?
Your pal Hiram Lodge called.
He's letting your dad out of his contract.
Well, I never doubted your mom for a second.
- I knew she'd do it.
- Wow. That's...
Yeah, and another thing, son, your mother and I have been talking, and...
I'm gonna stick around for a while, help your dad with some more unfinished business.
That contract was the last thing holding him back.
I'm gonna run for Mayor.
Against the Lodges, come what may.
Mrs. Blossom, hi.
I'm looking for Cheryl. She wasn't at the hospital with her nana.
No, she's gone.
Boarding school in Switzerland.
All girls. She left just last night.
[SCOFFS] Mrs. Blossom, that doesn't make any sense.
Don't come here again.
Oh, honey. Poor child.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
Sister Woodhouse is going to help you.
Thank you, Sister Woodhouse.
Yeah, she's gonngo rid you of all those naughty demons.
The ones making you think such awful, unnatural thoughts.
- Today, you must rest.
The real work. The conversion begins.