02x18 - Chapter Thirty-One: A Night to Remember

[CHERYL] Previously on Riverdale...

- [ARCHIE] New wheels, Mr. Lodge?

- The car is yours, Archie.

[BETTY] This is what guys like Chuck think about women. We're objects.

[PENELOPE] Cheryl was obsessed with you to the point where I was afraid she might hurt you.

Cheryl threatened me!

Did you know about Southside High closing?

[BETTY] You acted like you didn't know.

I can't trust you, V.

Chic, I think that you should leave this house.

I hear I'm back just in time for Carrie, The Musical?

And this school's gonna burn...

Jughead, thank you for meeting me before school.

Look, Kev, I know what you're gonna ask.

I'm making a behind-the-scenes documentary following our production of Carrie, The Musical.

We're going period, ' s glamour, just like the Sissy Spacek movie and I want you to be our videographer.

I'm in.


♪ Every day I just pray ♪

♪ Every move I make is right ♪

♪ Where I go who I know ♪

♪ Will I be alone on Saturday night? ♪

♪ I don't worry if I blow my SATs ♪

♪ I worry what can I possibly do ♪

♪ To squeeze in? Pow! Why not now? ♪

♪ When will I belong? ♪

♪ Look where I am, damn! ♪

♪ My whole life feels wrong! ♪

♪ What if I do snap? ♪

♪ Holy crap! I'd crawl out of my skin! ♪

♪ And so would you ♪

♪ Cause life just doesn't begin Until you're in ♪

Look, I was thinking, maybe Andrews Construction could help build the sets for the school musical?

You know, I got the lumber, I got the tools, I'm in between gigs.

- You'd wanna do that?

- Absolutely.

Son, I'm thrilled you're getting back into music, even if it's not rock 'n' roll.

And it's been a while since we've spent some time together.

- That would be awesome, Dad.

- Great, I'll give you a ride to school.

Uh, I'm good, I'm just gonna take my bike. But thanks.

♪ God, it's rough stayin' tough ♪

♪ Wonderin' what the world will say ♪

♪ Make a plan! Be a man! ♪

♪ All this frickin' crap just gets in the way! ♪

♪ I go crazy ♪

♪ Nobody cares what it does to me ♪

♪ And it's crazy! ♪

♪ I would go out of my mind ♪

- ♪ Am I? Am I? Am I? Am I? ♪

- ♪ To be in It! In is it! ♪

♪ What comes close to that? ♪

♪ Until you've been in ♪

♪ You ain't where it's at ♪

♪ 'Cause when you're out Well, life is hell ♪

♪ You can never win ♪

♪ There's no doubt That life just doesn't begin ♪

♪ Doesn't begin Doesn't begin ♪

♪ Doesn't begin Doesn't begin ♪

♪ Until you're ♪

♪ In! ♪

Welcome to Carrie, The Musical.


Okay, thanks.

Okay. Next, introductions.

I'm Archie, I'm playing Tommy Ross. The boy next door.

I'm Betty, I play Sue Snell. The good girl.

Veronica Lodge, playing mean girl, Chris Hargensen.

I'm Cheryl Blossom, playing the iconic role of Carrie White.


[BETTY] Who's playing your mom? Margaret White.

- [ALICE] I am.

- [KEVIN] Ah!

- Mom?

- Wait, seriously?

Settle down. Yes, it's untraditional but to me, there's nothing more amateur than age-inappropriate casting.

I'm really looking forward to getting to know who this woman is, you know, get under her skin.

And, of course, to spend some quality time with my daughter, Elizabeth.

Uh, sorry.

- I thought rehearsals were in the Music Room.

- No problem.

All are welcome here.

[JUGHEAD] So, Chuck Clayton, why did you say yes to being in the musical?

I'm trying to reform my image.

And, yeah, maybe it's little counter-intuitive to be playing the villain, but, I mean, somebody's gotta do it.

And I wanna do it right.

You know, show up, put in the work, be a member of the team.

And who knows, maybe...

Maybe then people will start to change their minds about me.

Kinda weird, huh? The two of us, playing boyfriend-girlfriend?

[JUGHEAD] Easy there, Arch.

Big Brother's watching.

No, I mean, things are strained with the four of us right now but we're here for Kevin, and to do this play, and I hope we can do it as painless as possible.

Archie, Veronica lied to all of us, you included.

Conspiring with her parents against the entire school?

I mean, and it's fine that you're doing exactly what Tommy Ross would do, which is stand by her, but from where I'm standing?

Veronica's just as much of a privileged, selfish, spiteful, mean girl as the part she's playing.

Okay. Act one, scene one.

Actually... Before we begin...

I've heard whisperings that some of you ensemble-vultures don't think I'm fit to play or sing...

- No.

The role of Carrie White.

So, to settle this matter once and for all...

- Maestro?

- Okay, uh, Cheryl...

♪ That's not my name! ♪

[KEVIN] Uh, Cheryl...

♪ I'd hear that word Sounding so sweet ♪

♪ Thousands of voices forever repeating ♪

♪ Carrie, Carrie, Carrie ♪

♪ I am the sound of distant thunder That color, a flame! ♪

♪ I'm Carrie! ♪

♪ I am a song of endless wonder ♪

♪ That no one will claim ♪

♪ But someday ♪

♪ Oh, my, someday! ♪

♪ Someone will know ♪

♪ My name! ♪


Wow. I think I speak for everyone when I say that was undeniable, Cheryl.





I have a dark confession to make...

After Cheryl's brush with death this morning, I found a letter in my locker from someone alleging to be...

And I can't believe I'm about to say this... the Black Hood.

It's a prank. Look at it!

Why would the Black Hood, who was shot dead by my dad, be demanding that the role of Carrie be recast?

[JUGHEAD] Yeah, it does seem pretty small potatoes for the Black Hood.

Yeah. Still. Jug, you can't tell anyone about this.

As official documentarian, you're sworn to secrecy.

Also, the show, as they say, must go on...

♪ Tommy, lately, I've just not been feeling right ♪

♪ I'm so ashamed of how we've all been treating Carrie White ♪

♪ Now I realize this is hardly your concern ♪

♪ I hate to drag you into this ♪

♪ But I've got nowhere else to turn ♪

♪ Do me a favor? ♪

♪ There's somethin' that Carrie White'll just have to learn ♪

♪ If she plays with fire She's gonna get burned ♪

♪ I want her to pay up for all that she's cost me ♪

♪ And make her good and sorry that she ever crossed me ♪

♪ You gotta help me If you help me ♪

♪ I could even up this debt ♪

♪ And we could both give Carrie White a night she won't forget ♪

♪ Do me a favor ♪

♪ Think of Carrie ♪

♪ I've said everything I could ♪

♪ But one small act of kindness ♪

♪ Might change Carrie's life for good ♪

- ♪ Fine ♪

- ♪ Come on, come on ♪

♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪

♪ There's something that Carrie White'll just have to learn ♪

♪ If she plays with fire She's gonna get burned ♪

♪ I'm begging, I'm pleading I'm down on my knees ♪

[ALL] ♪ If you really love me ♪

♪ Well then, baby, baby, please ♪

♪ Do me a favor ♪


I need to ask you something.


You want us to take that sexy new Firebird of yours to Lover's Lane?


Actually, I was gonna ask if I could keep it parked at the Pembrooke for a few days.


I still haven't told my dad about the Firebird.

And our dads are literal rivals.

If my dad finds out yours gave me this big, expensive gift, it'll trigger World War Three.

- Fine.

Our garage is your garage.

About the election, do you really think Fred has a shot?

In our favor, he's essentially running on a platform of family values with none of his family by his side.

I mean, Mary's gone, thank God.

And well, Archie and Fred, they've never been so distant, have they?

We just need to keep it that way...

No way is this legit.

Well, it's a legit threat, but it's definitely not from the real Black Hood.

No, this is a classic Phantom of the Opera tactic.

Mystery Man sends menacing note demanding a certain diva soprano gets recast or else.

Who's to say this letter came from a mystery man at all?

That's a good point.

Hey, Ethel, what looks good?

Someone's picked out all the M&M's from the trail mix.

[BETTY] Ugh, that's terrible.

It's probably Cheryl.

I mean, she's always taking things she shouldn't.

Like the role of Carrie from you...

That's nice of you to say, Betty.

For Kevin to have cast Cheryl as Carrie without even letting you audition...

Would you say you feel angry?

I mean, I was born to play Carrie, so not to be given a shot at it, yeah, it makes me angry.

Wait, is Jughead filming us?

No. Oh, no, no.

No, he's shooting B-roll.

Look, I have no idea what you're trying to get me to admit, but I am not a violent person and for the record, any record, I would never do anything to threaten or harm anybody for my own benefit, ever!

What's happening, handsome?

Just bussin' tables, Alice. You?

Just finished rehearsal.

I'm in the high school musical. Can you believe it?


Maybe you'll come by?

Check it out.

I'm working, Alice. Sorry.

Wow! Really? This old act again?

You know what's funny?

I was afraid our kids were going to make the same mistakes we did, but, it turns out, we're the ones making them, all over again.

In this scene, gym teacher Mrs. Gardener is being a friend when our girl has none, out of sheer kindness.

I'll fake it as best I can. [SIGHS]


♪ So many years you faced the world alone ♪

♪ Frightened that life might pass you by ♪

♪ Then he appears Someone who smiles at you ♪

♪ This is no time to question why ♪

Stop, stop, stop!

Okay, Cheryl, I'm the only one that's allowed to stop.

I can't do this!

I can't have you hating me while we're singing a song about friendship.

I know everything I did was legit crazy, Josie, but I was wrestling with some dark, Carrie White-like demons, and I'm so, so sorry.

So please, please forgive me.

♪ That's how it starts ♪

♪ Two unsuspecting ♪

- ♪ Hearts ♪

- ♪ In a world where nothing's sure ♪

♪ And nothing's ever guaranteed ♪

- ♪ Nothing's guaranteed ♪

- ♪ You should trust the way you feel ♪

♪ Trust the way you feel ♪

- ♪ That's the only thing that's real ♪

- ♪ Thing that's real ♪

[BOTH] ♪ It's like magic how your spirit soars ♪

♪ Once you feel his hand in yours ♪

- ♪ That's how it ♪

- ♪ That's how it ♪

♪ That's how it starts ♪

- ♪ Two unsuspecting ♪

- ♪ Two unsuspecting ♪

♪ Hearts ♪


[HIRAM] Veronica, mija.

I noticed the Firebird parked in the Pembrooke garage.

Is there a problem with it?

No, Daddy. Archie's just parking it here until he tells Fred you gave it to him.

He's worried he's gonna bruise his dad's ego or something.

- That makes sense.

- Yup.

Cheers, mi alma.

In keeping with this week's theme, I've just had a wicked idea...



♪ Guess what? Ever since the world began ♪

♪ Same plot! Everyone's been dumping on their fellow man ♪

♪ Pounding people they feel better than ♪

♪ I hope you're taking notes 'Cause you feel Everyone deserves a shot ♪

♪ Get real! Some of us have got it, girl and some got squat ♪

♪ That's the truth Oh, honey like it or not ♪

♪ I hate to break it to you ♪

♪ My daddy taught me you get nowhere being nice ♪

♪ So now, I'm sharing his advice ♪

♪ The world according to Chris is ♪

♪ Better to strike than get struck ♪

♪ Better to screw than get screwed ♪

♪ You'd probably think it's bizarre ♪

♪ And that's the way things are ♪

♪ My daddy taught me who's on top and who's below ♪

♪ And now it's time I let you know ♪

♪ The world according to Chris is ♪

♪ Better to punch than get punched ♪

♪ Better to burn than get burned ♪

♪ Learn that and you're gonna go far

♪ 'Cause that's the way things are ♪


Let's party, people!


♪ The world according to Chris ♪

♪ The world according to Chris ♪

♪ The world according to Chris ♪

♪ The world according to Chris ♪





Okay, Veronica, I am obsessed with everything that just happened.

Thank you, it helps to be off-book and in full costume.


Don't be so modest.

You're the literal embodiment of Chris.

Never has a role been so perfectly type-cast.

- Betty...


What was that, Betty?

I mean, think about it.

Spoiled rich girl, check.

Major daddy issues, check.

Bad to the bone, trying to control everyone around her, including her boyfriend and best friend. Check, check, check.

- [ARCHIE] How could you be so mean to her?

- Archie...

No, Betty, you have no idea what's really going on with Veronica.

All this intense stuff at home with her family, the pressure she's under.

She's trying to do her best under insane circumstances.

But can you tell me how, please?

Help me understand so I can let this go.

It's not for me to say, Betty.

You remember how quickly she forgave you?

When the Black Hood made you say all those horrible things?

So, really, who should be playing Chris and who should be playing Sue?

Archie, Betty, can you join us on stage?

We're ready to run Tommy and Sue's love ballad.


♪ If you could see the way that you look to me ♪

♪ I bet that you'd be amazed at the sight ♪

♪ You'd see a heart that's fearless and true ♪

♪ From my point of view ♪

♪ Oh, you shine ♪



[SCOFFS] Betty, if you're here to rip into me again, I agree with what you said back there.

If there's anything playing Chris has illuminated, it's that I've been a terrible friend.

I couldn't disagree more.


♪ I think you hide so much you feel inside ♪

But I know deep down there's a fire burning bright

♪ From where you stand it might not be clear ♪

♪ But you shine from here ♪

[BOTH] ♪ No doubts no more fears ♪

♪ I see you shineand the dark disappears

♪ Then I know everything is gonna be fine ♪

♪ Because you shine ♪

Just how you shine

Afternoon, Gentlemen.

I just came by to check on the progress of the show I'm producing, and lo and behold, Fred Andrews.


Just donating my free time, Hiram.

Has Archie taken you for a spin yet?

- Mr. Lodge...

- In the new Firebird I bought him?

For all the help he's given me and my family in the past few months.

That's, uh... It's a pretty smooth ride.

Yeah. [LAUGHS]

A young man never forgets his first car.


- [ARCHIE] Dad, it's just a car.

- Just a car?

Did I raise you to be that spoiled?


Seriously, this doesn't have to be a big deal, Dad.

It is to me, son.

I was planning on us going to the junkyard and picking out an old jalopy.

We could've fixed it up, like me and Grandpa Artie did with my first car.


Honey, I'm sure you're probably still upset with me, but I still miss you and I am worried about you.

I love you, Chic.

Please call me when you can.


It's your brother. He, uh, won't return my calls.

Not that I blame him for what I did.

I'm gonna get a class of water. Do you want anything?

Jughead, the sandbag was an accident and the letter was a prank, right?

- Seems like it.

- That's what I thought.

But then I found this in my locker.

Another letter from the Black Hood.

"This is your last warning to replace Cheryl.

Next time, the sandbag won't miss."

Cheryl, it's a matter of your safety.

I have to recast the role of Carrie.

I will not succumb to thespian terrorism and allow myself to be ousted from this production!

After the fires I've walked through, Kevin, the world needs to see me up on that stage.

A Dark Phoenix reborn in the spotlight...

Well, they'll have to wait, Cheryl.

- Mother.

- Even in a town as twisted as Riverdale, students require parental approval to partake in certain extracurricular activities.

As I reminded Principal Weatherbee when I told him you didn't have my approval to do the musical and never will.

So what? You just feast on broken dreams now, is that it?

Playing a murderous telekinetic teen who kills her mother?


This matricidal revenge fantasy...

Never gonna happen.

That's final.


Due to some unforeseen circumstances, Cheryl will no longer be playing the role of Carrie White.

- [WOMAN] What?

- Why?

Let's just say that Penelope Blossom isn't much of a stage-mom.


- Oh.

I think Cheryl's by the gym bleachers.

In the meantime, Cheryl's understudy will assume the role.


I appointed one after the sandbag incident.

Midge Klump!


[CHERYL] Screw the musical.

I just wanted to prove to everyone that I'm still me, but maybe I'm not.

Toni, even Carrie White could stand up to her mother.

Cheryl, you've gotta show your mother who's in charge.

I don't know if I can anymore.

I'm not the same girl who burned down Thornhill and cut off her oxygen.

Sure, you are.

You're not done playing Carrie, Cheryl.

Not by a long shot.


♪ Stay here instead Just tell me what you'd like to do ♪

♪ We'll talk and we'll laugh And I'll sing to you ♪

♪ And I promise you we won't fight ♪

♪ Don't leave tonight ♪

♪ You don't know these people They're not your friends ♪

♪ Carrie! ♪

♪ They're only waiting to tear you in two ♪

What if they like me?

♪ Just like your father They'll leave when they're through ♪

- They might like me! They'll like me!

- You're such a fool!

♪ Aren't you aware how people deceive? ♪

♪ They'll take you and break you ♪

♪ And then, they will leave you ♪

♪ Carrie, Carrie ♪

♪ Carrie ♪

♪ You are the love I was betrayed for ♪

♪ My pride and my shame ♪

♪ My Betty ♪

♪ We're one and the same ♪

♪ Don't go ♪

Don't go.

♪ Don't go ♪


Don't leave me, Betty.

Don't leave me like all the others.


Am I directing a train wreck?

And where's my tea?


- Mom?

I'm not going anywhere.

Everything... Everything is crumbling.

[STUTTERING] I've lost everyone.

No, I haven't lost everyone, I've driven everyone away.


I gave my son away when he was born, and then, I just did it again.

And your father and I aren't living together, because we're still fighting about some unspoken thing that happened years ago.

And... And you and I have never been so frayed.

[BETTY] My mom's always been a woman on the verge, but this...

I have to do something to help her, Jughead.

Something to make her feel less alone and abandoned.

Guys, the programs are in, and they look amazing.

Make sure to get them signed on opening night.


Dad, what're you doing here?

Gotta get the sets loaded in.

Yeah, I... I guess I just assumed...

What? That I would quit because we had a disagreement?

That's not the way I roll.

[ARCHIE] When Kevin came to me about Carrie, The Musical, he said I was the literal embodiment of Tommy Ross.

Loyal, selfless, a hero, a force for good.

But I'm none of those things.

I'm not the hero of any story...

Lately, I've been going down this dark path, ignoring how much it hurt my dad.

[ARCHIE] Mr. Lodge, there's something I gotta get off my chest.

You may be my boss, but please, don't try to get between me and my dad.

- Uh...

- Because I promise you, sir, that is a battle you will lose, every time.


So, thank you for the Firebird...

But I won't be needing it anymore.

Oh, who are we kidding.

It's opening night!

We're too nervous to eat, anyway.

[HAL] Alice...

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm allergic to peonies.

But how would you know that?

We've only been married for decades.

I'd really like to come back home, Alice.

If you'll have me.

If we do this, Hal, there can't be any more secrets between us.

- Which means... Betty?

- Yeah?

- Honey, can you give us a moment?

- Yeah.

There's something that you should know about Chic.


To be honest, I always suspected that Chic wasn't mine.

I don't care, Alice.

I want to come home.


Our secrets can't hurt us anymore.

But we can be together again.

Don't you have a show to get ready for?

Yeah, I do, but this couldn't wait.

I gave back the Firebird, Dad.

And I sold some of my music stuff so I could buy this off of Junkyard Steve.

It needs a lot of work, Dad, but I'm up for it if you are.

You better get going, Arch.

[VOICE BREAKING] I don't want you to be late.

♪ You ain't seen nothin' yet ♪

♪ It's gonna be a night you'll never forget ♪

♪ You ain't seen nothin' yet ♪

♪ It's gonna be a night we'll never forget ♪

♪ This will be just great ♪

♪ Oh, my life is gonna take flight ♪

♪ Can't wait till Saturday night ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪ Eighty bucks for a tux? ♪

- ♪ Damn, we better get laid ♪

♪ You've been prayin' for that since the seventh grade ♪

♪ It's the least we deserve after everything we've paid ♪

- ♪ Got the food ♪

- ♪ Got the drinks ♪

♪ Got the limo for ten ♪

♪ And we won't get a chance like this again ♪

♪ We'll be leaving as boys but we're coming home as men ♪

♪ This will be just great! ♪

♪ Yeah, my life is gonna take flight ♪

♪ Can't wait till Saturday night ♪

♪ You ain't seen nothin' yet ♪

♪ It's gonna be a night we'll never forget ♪

♪ You ain't seen nothin' yet ♪

♪ It's gonna be a night we'll never forget ♪

♪ I believe in getting even ♪

♪ That's what I believe ♪

♪ And I just don't forgive and forget ♪

♪ You ain't seen nothin' yet ♪

♪ It's gonna be a night we'll never forget ♪

♪ You ain't seen nothin' yet ♪

♪ It's gonna be a night we'll never forget ♪

♪ You ain't seen nothin' yet ♪

♪ It's gonna be a night we'll never forget ♪

♪ You ain't seen nothin' yet ♪

♪ It's gonna be a night we'll never ♪

♪ No, never ♪

♪ We'll never forget ♪

♪ A night we'll never forget ♪


Claudius, is that you?

Do you know whose blood this is, Mummy?

This is Jason's blood...

This is Daddy's blood...

And the next blood to be spilt will be yours.

Cheryl, dear God!

You've been in cahoots with Daddy's twin, you tried to kill Nana Rose, and then you shipped me off to a ghoulish nunnery.

But your depraved gambits are finished.

If you so much as pluck one hair from Nana Rose's little head, I'll end you.

I burned one house down, I'll happily burn another...

[SOBBING] Nightmare child, what do you want from me?

I want to be emancipated.

I want Thistlehouse all to my self and my Nana...

Start packing, Mummy.

You and Uncle Claudius are pig-people.

And should live amongst the pigs.

Thank you. Hello. Good to see you.

Thank you. Gillian, how are you?

[ALICE] Hal, come here!


Did you bring it?

Ten minutes to places! Where is Fangs?

I don't know.

- Fangs!

- I was giving Midge some last minute notes.

Well, hurry up, because it's ten minutes to places!

[JUGHEAD] Hey, Ethel?

I'm doing final interviews.




QED, folks, it was Ethel.

[ETHEL] What was?

Uh, just some magazines.

Okay, I know what you're thinking but you're wrong.

Those were for my vision board.

It's okay. You can tell me.

Get out of my dressing room, Jughead.

[JUGHEAD] Sounds like a guilty conscious to me.

- Hey, Moose.

- Get out of my way, Jones!

[ALL] What a to-do to die today at a minute or two till two.

A thing distinctly hard to say, but harder still to do.



Let me speak for the whole gang when I say that your behavior throughout rehearsals has been nothing short of that of a proper Victorian gentleman.

Um, what does that mean?

Your pariahship is officially over.

Hey, Betty.


You made it.

Of course, I wouldn't miss this for the world.

[KEVIN] Five minutes to places, people.

You should get back to your seat, Chic.

You're not really allowed to be backstage.

No problem.

Break a leg, sis.

♪ Father Almighty she's only a child ♪

♪ But the woman is waking inside her ♪

♪ She will be lost if her passion runs wild ♪

♪ So I can't let her stumble and fall ♪

♪ Maybe I do things that I can't explain ♪

♪ But my feelings for her never change ♪

♪ You are still my precious one ♪

♪ Can you forgive what I've done? ♪

All right, Carrietta, it's time to come out of your closet.


- Uh, Kevin, did you re-block this scene?

Why isn't she on her knees singing?



- I don't think that's part of the show.

- Oh, my God!

Somebody, should help her.

For God's sake, help her!