[VERONICA] Previously on Riverdale...
[JUGHEAD] Hiram's gonna follow you, or us, wherever we go.
Where is he?
[PENELOPE] I've heard of this game before.
Thought this was an urban legend.
We definitely have to play it.
[ALICE] And we dubbed ourselves "The Midnight Club."
[PENELOPE] Welcome to The Ascension Party.
What about these drugs?
I don't know how they're getting them.
A Serpent dealer named Fangs Fogarty.
I want you to go undercover. Join the Gargoyle Gang.
We need a man on the inside of Hiram Lodge's drug operation
so that we can take him down.
[ARCHIE] Your dad is still out there.
As long as we're together, he'll be hunting me down,
and everyone close to me is his target.
If you loved me you would come home.
[ARCHIE] If I ever want to go back to Riverdale,
I have to destroy that part of me. It's weak.
I've been attacked. By a grizzly. I'm in bad shape.
[WOMAN] Come on. Wake up, kid!
[JUGHEAD] At : on a Wednesday morning,
Archie Andrews died.
At least, the Archie we knew.
What returned to Riverdale was something far different
from the red-headed boy-next-door.
He was now a stranger,
with dark hair and scars...
both inside and out.
What? What's wrong, son?
It's a long story.
I don't remember the rangers finding me.
I woke up in the hospital knowing that...
I couldn't keep running.
It was time to come home,
back to a normal life, if that's even possible.
What about Hiram?
[SCOFFS] I survived a bear attack, Dad.
I can't live my life in fear of when he might come after me anymore.
To be honest, I'm more worried about him gunning for you.
I survived the Black Hood. Twice.
Hiram doesn't scare me.
He's not the only one in this town with friends.
What about Veronica?
You reach out to her?
What are you doing here?
Where have you been?
- Why haven't you called me?
- I wanted to.
Every day. But after the last call...
What the hell happened to your hair?
I dyed it, so I wouldn't get recognized in case...
your father came looking for me.
Veronica, I'm sorry.
If... if you don't wanna ever talk to me again,
I completely understand that.
Don't be crazy, Archie.
I'm just so happy that you're home...
[POP] Two chocolates, one vanilla,
and a root beer float for Archie.
- Welcome home, son.
- Thanks, Pop.
Since when do you drink root beer floats?
I guess I'm just not in the mood for a strawberry milkshake.
New drink, new hair,
- new haunted, vacant look in your eyes...
- [VERONICA] Guys.
Archie just lived through The Revenant.
Let him order what he wants.
So what'd I miss while I was gone?
Well, thanks to the town quarantine orchestrated by my father,
Pop's was shut-down and just reopened.
And he's also been attacking shipments to the speakeasy.
But, thankfully, I've hired the Serpents as my full-time protection,
and that service extends to you, Archie.
You don't have to worry about Hiram's goons coming after you or your dad.
You won't be able to see 'em, but I have guys watching you, / .
And I have a possible lead that could diffuse this threat permanently.
You can't tell anyone.
Fangs is deep undercover in the Gargoyle Gang.
He hasn't met the King yet, but he's still working on it
and when we get access to him, we're gonna take him down.
My bet is that it's Hiram underneath the mask.
- Sorry, Veronica.
- Don't be.
I wouldn't put it past him.
Well, there goes studying for the SATs.
Yeah, they're this Saturday.
Don't worry, Arch. I'll help you study and get you caught up, okay?
We all will.
I'm sorry, Betty, but your debit card was declined.
I got you, Bee. Just put it on my tab, Pop.
[BETTY] This is a new low, Mom.
I just got off the phone with the Bank of Riverdale,
who told me that all of my accounts,
including my college fund
have been completely drained of assets.
Not drained, just transferred.
Most of it was blood-money that you inherited from The Blossoms...
Okay. Tell me where that money went.
It was wired to the Farm as a tax-deductible donation.
You gave my money to the Farm?
To help support those children that you liberated from the Sisters.
You just gave away my tuition money?
Or, of course, you could always study at the Farm for free.
Mom, I swear to God, you are not cornering me into joining your cult.
Fred Andrews, FP Jones...
What can I do for you fellas?
I came to let you know that my son is home. Permanently.
- Well, that's just great, Fred.
- [FP] Cut the crap, Hiram.
We all know you have it out for his kid.
I'll stop you right there.
I've never wished any harm to...
either of your sons.
Hiram, if you harm a hair on Archie's head, I will kill you.
Make no mistake about it.
And I will be at peace
with whatever the consequences of that are.
[WEATHERBEE] As you transition back into your life at Riverdale High,
I would advise you to be realistic in terms of your goals.
I am, Mr. Weatherbee.
I just... I wanna get caught up
and I wanna be a normal student again.
The SATs are this coming Saturday.
I'm guessing you haven't really had a chance to adequately prepare?
Not yet, sir.
Mr. Andrews, given your situation,
I would strongly recommend
that you repeat your junior year.
And not graduate with my friends?
In the long-term,
I believe it would be best for you.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
Everything all right? You didn't text me back last night.
Reggie, cool it.
Archie's back? Since when?
Look, I know we were... But...
I can't tell Archie that one of his best friends
and his ex-girlfriend got together while he was away, so...
You and I, this has to...
I get it. Archie's back.
How's he doing?
unsettled and stressed.
I may not be able to do anything about the former,
but I definitely can about the latter...
with something that'll help all of us blow off some steam.
[BETTY] She can't do this, can she?
She can as long as both of your parents signed off to release your funds.
And from these, it looks like
your father did sign.
No, that's impossible. She never goes to see him.
Is this his signature?
No. That's a forgery.
And I know, because I myself have forged it in the past
as part of an investigation.
Well, you need to get your real father to sign an affidavit
attesting to the fact that he never agreed to liquidate your funds.
Then we can pursue legal action.
I have to see my dad.
I'm sure you've heard, Hiram,
The Sisters of Quiet Mercy estate is up for auction.
It appears to be a competitive situation with multiple bidders,
including the Farm, coming in with strong offers.
I have other plans for that property.
For my brothel?
The Sisters will not be turned into a brothel, Madame Blossom.
[SIGHS] So then why did you summon us here, Hiram?
Because we need a new Sheriff.
Someone who will allow our various enterprises
to continue without scrutiny.
And I'm nominating you, Claudius.
The last Sheriff, Minetta, was found decapitated.
You're out of your mind, Hiram.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I make it seem as if you had a choice in the matter, Claudius?
That's where I want you.
It's not a request.
[EXHALES] Okay, iconoclast... That is...
A person who attacks another's cherished beliefs.
I'm in high school, how am I supposed to know that?
Why don't we start thinking about the SATs in terms of strategy?
When in doubt, why don't you just...
fill in all the bubbles marked D?
Betty, how did I do on the practice test?
I tanked it, didn't I?
I got a on this part.
That's your combined score, Arch.
It's in the bottom th percentile.
[CELL PHONE BUZZING]
All right, gotta go, guys. It's Fangs.
Do you want me to come with you?
No. I'd stay and get a couple extra hours cramming in.
If anyone's gonna get you up to speed, it's gonna be Betty.
What's the point? It's hopeless, right?
That's what you said
when you were in second grade and couldn't read, remember?
And we got you caught up.
You did, you mean.
Maybe Weatherbee's right, maybe I'm...
I've just missed too much or I've changed too much.
Well, in one respect, maybe you have.
Do you trust me?
Jughead, I'm in.
Tell me everything. What happened?
The Gargoyle King.
The other guys told me that he's impressed by my Fizzle Rocks sales,
so he wants to invite me into his inner circle.
They're having a ceremony tomorrow night.
He'll be there.
Fangs, this is huge. Where's it happening?
A clearing in Fox Forest. Not too far from here.
- What do you want me to do?
- I want you to go.
Don't worry, you're gonna have back up.
[BETTY] Okay, Archie, let's see it.
There he is.
Just in time, too.
Just in time for what?
What is... what is all this?
Well, it was going to be a study party,
but that was before you came back home to us.
So now it's a Study/Welcome Home party, Archie,
complete with a musical amuse bouche provided by moi.
So take a seat, lover, and let me entertain you.
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
It's good to see you, Betty.
I'm disappointed it took so long.
So let's skip the small talk.
Is this your signature?
What is that?
Mom stole my college funds,
so I need you to sign an affidavit that says
that this signature is a forgery.
In reading the papers most recently,
I've found myself compelled by this Gargoyle King.
Fourteen souls he's claimed.
Of course, you'd find a kill-count impressive.
I'll bet it roils you up that you haven't caught him yet, doesn't it?
I could help you.
I'm just trying to go to college.
This Gryphons and Gargoyles manual that I've read so much about,
bring me a copy.
And I'll be happy to sign your affidavit.
[REGGIE] I'm not down with it, Ronnie.
Archie taking off like that? It's not cool.
He's in extremis, Reggie.
For all we know, he walked back to Riverdale all the way from Canada.
And right into the pressure cooker of school and the SATs.
All I'm saying is, the Archie I saw last night, he's different.
I don't disagree.
He is different, Reggie.
And if it's permanent, hmm?
And he's not your Archiekins anymore?
Look, I know what you want me to say.
I just can't even think about that right now.
You got some pretty big coconuts
pulling that kind of stunt last night.
You don't know what the hell you're talking about, Reg.
I'm talking about how you stormed out of the speakeasy
like a little bitch, Andrews.
Bro, I'm warning you, you don't wanna start with me.
Dude, what the hell happened?
How'd you get those scars?
I was attacked by a bear.
What? You serious?
You were attacked by a friggin' bear?
Damn, no wonder why you're all messed up.
[HIRAM] Mi amor, we've outgrown the Pembrooke,
so I've decided to buy The Sisters of Quiet Mercy.
It'll be our castle, our stronghold.
Except for the fact that the place is probably
being haunted by the ghosts of the nuns that died there.
I'll have it cleansed by a Señora.
In the meantime, I need you to appoint Claudius Blossom Sheriff of Riverdale.
After some careful consideration,
he's agreed to take on the challenge.
Claudius Blossom is your business partner.
- People will talk.
- Let them talk.
Given our recent expansions,
it's imperative that we have a friend we can trust in the Sheriff's office.
Ironic, considering I don't know what these expansions are.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
It's what's best for the family, Hermione.
So, for all our sakes,
but especially yours,
I'd do it quick.
[BETTY] The G&G manual, as requested.
Did you bring the affidavit?
Leaving so quickly?
Can't we at least exchange pleasantries?
What? What do you want to talk about, huh?
The SATs, my college applications...
I think we're beyond that point, don't you?
Perhaps. So what if we talked about Ascension Night?
How do you know about that?
I was there.
You weren't a member of the Midnight Club.
No, but I knew about them.
Who they were.
I was the one who sent them the invitations for Ascension Night.
Who dressed up as the Gargoyle King.
And who poisoned the chalices.
Wait. You killed Principal Featherhead?
My plan had been to kill as many members of the Midnight Club as possible
because they were all sinners, Betty.
Every last one of them.
But Featherhead crashed the party and drank from the cups...
Was he your first kill?
Is that why you think you can solve the mystery
of the Gargoyle King in the present? Because...
Because I was the Gargoyle King, in the past.
You and your mother keep missing each other.
Excuse me? My mother hasn't been here in months.
Her name is Alice Cooper, isn't it?
She comes every Monday. Like clockwork.
[FRED] Fresh whites coming in.
What, you changing it up in here a little bit?
I was studying at my desk, but it was cluttered with all this crap.
Oh! Who is this guy?
The Variety Show. You remember that?
- That was great.
- Barely, to be honest.
Are... are you feeling okay, son?
Yeah, Dad, I'm just... restless.
It's weird being home, back in this room after all this time.
I'm feeling kind of lost.
Wanna talk about it?
Maybe after the SATs. I better keep studying.
[GARGOYLE LEADER] Fangs Fogarty. Kneel before your King!
To enter his kingdom, you must bear his mark.
The mark of the Gargoyle.
It's the Serpents. Scatter.
[JUGHEAD] Sweet Pea, get Fangs!
- You're mine!
We all thought you were dead, Tall Boy.
Where you been hiding?
A small town called Athens.
Gotta say, it's good to be back.
And Alice Cooper, she was looking extra sweet
the night me and my boys broke into her house
and scared the crap out of her and her bitch daughter.
- That was fun...
All right, let's cut to the chase.
We know you're working for Hiram.
You've been dressing up in that little costume,
like his mascot.
So now you are going to help us take him down.
You know what else was fun?
Carving that symbol into Joaquin's forehead after I killed him...
- You're dead!
- You son of a bitch.
What? He killed Joaquin!
[JUGHEAD] What do you think, Tall Boy, huh?
Should I let them tear you limb from limb
or are you gonna help us get to Hiram?
I know you have access to him.
The Man in Black would never agree to meet with me.
Not unless I have something
that he really wants.
Why are you dressed like that, hmm?
Oh, is that what you wear when you go visit Dad?
Okay, I don't have time for your mad ranting, Betty.
I'm prepping for an interview with RIVW.
You know it's been my lifelong dream to work for local broadcast news.
I went to see Dad.
To try and get my money back after you forged his signature.
- Okay, Betty...
- Dad said he was the one
who murdered Principal Featherhead.
Well, that's impossible.
Your father wasn't even there that night.
And how would Dad know details about Ascension Night, and he does,
unless he was there, or if someone told him about the Midnight Club,
and that someone has to be you, Mom.
Okay, Betty, I swear to you, in years of marriage,
I never mentioned Ascension Night once.
And I haven't gone to see your father
since before this whole Gryphons and Gargoyles mess started.
Well, someone named Alice Cooper's been visiting him.
[REGGIE] No. No.
Hey, Reg, you busy?
Nah, just swiping on Bumble,
praying the future Mrs. Mantle is within a -mile radius.
The truth is, love doesn't come easily for me these days.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
Or does it?
I need to talk to you about something.
I need to talk to you about cheating.
Aw, dude, she told you?
You know it's over, right?
What are you talking about, Reg?
What the hell are you talking about?
I... figured you'd know a way to cheat on the SATs.
She's gonna kill me.
She didn't think you were gonna come back.
I didn't think you were gonna come back.
Maybe I shouldn't have.
Look, Jug, I don't know if I can handle any more quizzing.
That's not why I'm here. I need your help, Archie.
The Gargoyle King is Tall Boy.
We have him locked down in the bunker.
- Tall Boy's alive?
- Yeah, he's been hiding in Athens.
This is our shot to finally smoke out Hiram Lodge.
But we're gonna need bait to lure the Man in Black out of the shadows,
and I'm betting the thing that he still wants most...
Save your breath, Jug.
You don't have to convince me to take down Hiram Lodge. I'm in.
- This is Hiram.
- [TALL BOY] I have the Red Paladin.
Him and his friends tried to ambush us in the woods.
- If you want him...
- I do.
- Usual meeting place.
Hi, this is Elizabeth Cooper.
I was just there yesterday visiting my dad, Hal Cooper,
and you mentioned that my mom has also been visiting.
I know this is gonna seem like a weird question,
but can you just describe to me what Alice Cooper looks like?
Thank you for meeting me, Auntie.
I was reluctant to show up
since the last time we met,
you accused me of murder.
- I trust that won't be happening again.
- No, Auntie.
But I did want to ask.
Are you one of those sickos who fantasizes about serial killers?
As a young woman,
I did write the odd letter to Jeffrey Dahmer, yes.
Was there a specific reason you asked?
Yeah. You've been posing as my mother to visit my father.
It's the only way to get conjugal visits.
A man has his needs.
Did you ever tell him about Ascension Night?
Yes, during pillow talk.
He's claiming he was the Gargoyle King back then.
Why would he lie to me about that?
Oh, men and their delusions.
Why do they do anything?
[BETTY] You sick narcissist.
You made it all up. You were not at Ascension Night.
The only reason you even know about it
is because Penelope Blossom told you.
So I've been asking myself,
why would you take credit for murdering Featherhead?
Was it so I would write about it?
To put you, the original Big Bad, Black Hood
back in the spotlight?
Why would I dangle such an outrageous lie in front of you?
I have no clue!
Come on, think about it, Betty.
Why would a father tell his daughter such a thing?
For what possible reason?
To keep me on the line.
To keep me coming back to you.
Oh, Betty, how I've missed you and our chats.
You will stoop to any level
to get me back in your clutches, won't you?
I just wanted some father-daughter time.
Well, I hope you got your fill today,
because I will never be coming back here again.
Well, that's what you said before.
[GARGOYLE KING] You're not Hiram.
Looks like neither of us is who we were expecting.
- What the devil...
- Claudius Blossom.
You're not the Man in Black.
What happened, why would Hiram send you?
I don't know what you mean.
Save it for the judge, Blossom.
You may not be the Man in Black, but his stink is on you.
I'm making a citizen's arrest.
Reggie called me.
You don't have to explain.
You didn't do anything wrong.
Archie, when we broke up,
I was angry.
At my father for driving you away,
but mostly at you
for not fighting to stay by my side.
And the more time passed,
the more I got tired of missing you.
And now that I'm back?
Oh God, Archie.
This is the worst time to be doing this.
Then let's not.
Let's finish this conversation tomorrow.
But tonight, can we be together?
Will you stay with me?
You have minutes to complete the first portion of the SAT Math section.
When you are finished, do not skip ahead to other sections.
I will issue a five-minute warning for your convenience
prior to the time limit.
Do you all understand?
You may begin.
[PROCTOR] Is there a problem?
If you follow him out that door, it's an automatic zero.
[HIRAM] Don't worry about Claudius's arrest, mi amor.
Why do you think I sent him instead of going myself?
I have instincts about these things.
It's how I stay alive,
by always being one step ahead of everyone else.
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- [EVELYN] Eat up.
Betty, you're just in time!
We are celebrating with some raw milk and oatmeal-raisin cookies.
Mmm. Celebrating what?
With a little help from Edgar's connections,
I got the job!
[EVELYN] And that's not all. The Farm has found and bought
its new headquarters.
The convent where The Sisters of Quiet Mercy used to live.
Thank you so much, Betty.
What... what did I do?
Well, thanks to your generous contribution, Betty,
all of us, including those lost souls you saved
will benefit with a new permanent home in Riverdale.
It's the dawn of a new era for the Farm.
- [ALICE] Cheers!
Excuse me, room . Lodge?
I'm sorry I missed your calls.
Where have you been?
I came as soon as I heard.
How is he?
We don't know.
He just got out of surgery.
What the hell happened?
He was shot...
sometime after you ran out of the SATs.
Sometime after I...
You don't think that I...
But the fact that you could even ask me that...
It's over, isn't it?
Fangs, Sweet Pea. What happened?
- Don't touch him don't touch him.
- What happened?
Tall Boy was just trying to escape...
I don't know. It was an accident.
[SWEET PEA] You gotta believe us.
What are we gonna do, Jug? Look at him.
What do we do, Jug?
I told him not to come at me like that. I told him.
What do we do? Look at him!
Shut up! Let me think!
We're gonna throw a party.
[FRED] Looks like Hiram is gonna be out of commission for a while.
[SIGHS] You must be relieved.
[SCOFFS] I'm not.
What's wrong, son?
Veronica and I broke up.
I also walked out of the SATs today, so...
I don't know how to do this.
To just pretend
like everything's the same as it was before.
It's gonna take you a minute to pick up the pieces.
Let's take it slow.
How did you get through juvie?
All that time alone
in the wilderness, on the run?
I didn't stop fighting. I fought for my life.
Well, you'll just have to keep fighting.
[GUARD] It's meal time, Mr. Blossom.
[FP] How is he?
How is he?
Well, Hiram's stable for now, at least.
That's not why I called you here, FP.
I think it's time.
No one else understands what she's capable of.
No one but you.
She just gave my money away, Dad.
Mom gave all my money...
like my education meant nothing.
It means everything.
And I'm sorry, Betty.
But here's the good news.
Betty, you're gonna have colleges lining up
to give you scholarships.
Weren't the SATs this weekend?
So how'd you do?
Pretty good, I think.
We're freaking out, dude.
Hey, just keep it together, guys, okay?
It was an accident.
As far as anyone knows, Tall Boy's been exiled.
- I exiled him.
Relax, okay? Just grab a drink.
And party like your life depends on it.
we have a lot to celebrate!
We finally unmasked our foe, the Gargoyle King!
Hiram Lodge, the Man in Black, is down for the count!
And tonight, we're welcoming back one of our own...
[ALL CHANTING] Serpents! Serpents! Serpents!
Oh, God, they know about Tall Boy.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON POLICE RADIO]
Sheriff Jones now, boy.
Listen up! You're looking at the new law in Riverdale.
You hit that thing any harder, Alice is going to file a noise complaint.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] It's like you said, Dad,
you gotta keep fighting, right?
It looks like a cell in here.
[SIGHS] You gonna be okay?
I think so, Dad, yeah.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]