06x13 - Lucy and Superman

Complete collection of episode scripts for the TV series, "I Love Lucy". Aired October 1951 - May 1957.*
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Lucy & Ricky Ricardo live in New York, while Ricky tries to succeed in show business -- Lucy who is always trying to help -- usually ends up in some kind of trouble that drives Ricky insane.
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06x13 - Lucy and Superman

Post by bunniefuu »

"Lucy and Superman"

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

(theme song ending)

(heroic theme playing on TV)

(air whooshing)

TV ANNOUNCER: To you children in the
New York area,

Superman will be making personal
appearances this week

at Macy's Department Store.

Check your local paper for all
details.

(heroic theme continues)

(TV clicks off)

Okay, Superman, Jr., time to go to
bed.

Oh, no, Mommy.

Come on, now, honey, Superman's going
to bed.

He always goes to bed right after his
show.

Yeah, come on, partner, I'll tuck you
in.

LUCY: Oh, wait a minute now.

Superman always takes his cape off

before he goes to bed.

There we are.

Okay, sweetheart.

'Night, Mommy.

Good night, angel.

Don't forget to say your prayers.

Mommy?

What, dear?

Can Superman come to my birthday
party Saturday?

Superman come to your birthday party?

Well, I don't know about that, honey.

But I'll tell you what.
If you're a good boy,

I'll take you down to Macy's to see
him.

Oh, boy!

RICKY: Come on, Ricky.

(blowing noisemakers)

Whoop-de-do. What's all that?

These are the favors we bought

for Little Ricky's birthday party.

Oh, they're just perfect.

How much do I owe you?

Oh, they're our treat.

$ . .

pay for all these things.

You see, Ethel, those were my exact
words.

Oh, Fred.

You'll have to excuse him.

We still haven't rented that
apartment

next door to you,

and that's why he's acting so stingy.

I mean, stingier than usual.

Ha-ha.

Oh, now, Fred!

Hi.
Hi, Ricky.

Are those the favors for Little
Ricky's party?

Yeah. Aren't they cute?
Yeah.

Since we're Little Ricky's
godparents,

we're buying all the favors.

Well, that's very generous of you.

You're telling me.

ETHEL: Oh, Fred.

Of course, we also want to get him a
gift.

A gift, too?

Yes, a gift, too.

What do you think he'd like, Lucy?

Oh, I don't know.

If I don't rent that apartment next
door,

I'll be glad to give him the whole
building.

Fred, will you stop grousing?

Look, you've already done enough now.

Forget about a gift.

Hey, Ethel, lay off those nuts.

They're for company.

Well, thanks a lot.

I just meant that you're not company,
dear;

you're more like family.

Oh. Gee, I should have known

they weren't for us; they're fresh.

Oh, come on.

Who's coming over?

Caroline and Charlie Appleby.

Yeah. They were in the neighborhood
and called us.

And we couldn't think of an excuse
fast enough,

so they're dropping by.

An excuse?

I thought Caroline was a good friend
of yours.

Oh, she is, but she's so boring.

She's one of those mothers who's
always bragging about her child.

Yeah, and Charlie's even worse.

Her Stevie is so cute,

Her Stevie is so sweet.

Her Stevie is so smart.

Ooh, I get so sick of it...

Yeah.

...when everyone knows

that Little Ricky is a lot cuter,

a lot sweeter

and certainly a lot smarter.

RICKY: Yeah.

But for bores, they're really awfully
nice people,

so I guess we can put up with them,
huh?

Besides, Stevie's Little Ricky's best
friend.

Yeah, that's right.

LUCY: Oh, I must remember to invite
Stevie

to the party Saturday.

Sure, you gotta invite him to the
party, honey.

What are you looking for, dear?

I'm looking for the new pictures I
took of Little Ricky.

Oh.
Here they are.

What do you want with them?

Well, when Charlie Appleby starts to
bore me

with his pictures of Little Stevie,

I'm gonna be ready.

(laughing)

Come on, Fred,

let's get out of here.

I don't want to stick around

for the "bore w*r."

Oh, come on.

Thanks for the gifts.

Oh, that's all right, honey.

See you later, Rick.
Bye, Fred.

ETHEL: Oh, I just love buying them.

Don't mention it.

Okay.
Bye.

Good night.

What's the matter with you, boy?

I'm practicing.

For once, I'm gonna b*at Charlie
Appleby to the draw.

Oh...

And he picked up Marilyn Monroe,

slung her over his shoulder and
carried her off.

Oh, Caroline, that just sounds like a
wonderful movie.

We have to see that, honey.

Yeah.
Yeah, it was good all right.

Say, do you realize we've been here

almost an hour

and not one of us has even mentioned
our children?

You know you're absolutely right,
Charlie.

Seems like whenever people

with children get together,

that's all they can talk about.

Personally, I think it's a terrible
bore.

CHARLIE: Yeah, yeah, me, too.

'Course, every once in a while,

Stevie does something so cute,

I just can't resist telling about it.

(chuckling)

Like the other day,

we, we were talking about his
birthday--

he'll be five next week, you know--

he came up to me

and he said... he came up to me and
he said...

he said, "Daddy, are you five years
old yet?"

(laughs out loud)

"Are you five years old yet?"

Yeah.

"Are you five years old yet?"

That's very cute.

Yeah, cute.

Oh, say, speaking of birthdays,

we want to invite Little Ricky to
Stevie's party.

Well, thank you very much.

We want to invite Stevie to Ricky's
party, too.

Oh, well, good.
He'd love to come.

I just remembered--

the kids were born four days apart.

That's right.

Well, then we'll expect Little Ricky

at : Saturday afternoon.

That's fine. Saturday afternoon?

That's when we're having Little
Ricky's party.

Oh, my goodness, what a shame.

Oh, this is awful.

Well, honey, neither of the kids'
birthdays

is really on Saturday,

so one of us will change the day of
the party.

Sure, and that way, all their little
friends

can go to both parties.
Yeah.

Well, that's a good idea.

One of us will change.

Yeah. One of us will have to change.

What day are you gonna have your
party on, Caroline?

Now, wait a minute, Lucy.

I don't want Stevie's party another
day.

Saturday's the best day; it's a
non-school day.

But it makes much more sense for you
to change, Caroline.

After all, Stevie's birthday isn't on
Saturday.

It's on Thursday, isn't it?

Well, so what?

Little Ricky's birthday isn't till
next Monday.

Well, Monday's much closer to
Saturday than Thursday.

How do you figure?

Well, Monday's all part of the
weekend--

you know, Saturday, Sunday, Monday--

but Thursday-- it's Thursday...
Friday... Saturday.

Thursday is miles from Saturday.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Thursday is just as close to Saturday
as Monday.

Well...

What time was Little Stevie born?

: noon.

Aha! Little Ricky was born at :
in the morning.

And : Monday is closer to :
Saturday

than : Thursday.

So, you'll just have to change your
party, Caroline.

Oh, now, wait, wait, Stevie was born
in California.

That's Pacific standard time.
So, that means

he actually would've been born

three hours later in New York time...

Well, if you're gonna drag in those
phony technicalities.

Well, you're the one who started it.

Well, we'll just see who'll change
their party, Caroline.

Yeah, we'll just see.

Yes, we will.

All right, all right,

now, girls, it's no use

getting upset about nothing.

Don't worry, you'll work something
out.

Anyone care for a cigarette?

Caroline?

No, thank you.

CHARLIE: Lucy?

No. Thank you.

Ricky?

Yes. Let's have a cigarette.

Oh, I just remembered.

I've got some new pictures here of
Stevie.

Isn't that cute?

Isn't that the cutest thing?

...about Pacific standard time.

Ricky, what do you want for
breakfast, dear?

Nothing, honey, I'm awful late.

Okay.

If there's one thing I can't stand

is someone who's pigheaded.

Now, it wouldn't have hurt her a bit

to change her party to another day.

Well, it wouldn't hurt you

to change yours either.

Whose side are you on?!

Well, I'm in Little Ricky's camp.

Well, all right.

But why can't you both

have your parties on Saturday?

Because Stevie and Ricky are in the
same class at school,

and they'll each be inviting the same
children.

Well, can't you split the guest list
down the middle?

No, that won't work.

She's invited a clown, a magician.

She's having a puppet show.

All the little kids will want to go
to Stevie's party.

Oh.

Well, why don't you get some
entertainment

that'll top Caroline's,

and then they'll want to come to
Little Ricky's party.

Who am I gonna get?

(makes whooshing sounds)

(chuckling)
Oh, boy, there goes Superman!

Ethel, that's it!

That's what?

I'll get Superman for Ricky's party.

How could you do that?

Ricky'll get him for me.

He met him when we were in Hollywood.

And Superman's in town; I heard it on
television.

Oh, boy, that'd be great.

Wouldn't it?

Honey, will you do me a favor?

Will you call Superman this
afternoon?

Sure, dear. Good-bye.

Superman?!

Yeah, for Ricky's party Saturday.

Oh, oh.

Oh, yeah, hey, that would be a
wonderful idea.

Will you get him for me?

Okay, honey, I'll call him

the minute I get to the club.

Okay, dear.
All right.

(door shuts)

Boy, imagine having a father who
knows Superman. Oh!

How about that?
Ha, ha, ha!

(Little Ricky makes flying noises)

Hey, Ricky, guess what?

You're gonna get your wish.

Who do you think's coming to your
party Saturday? Superman!

Oh, boy, oh, boy!

Ha, ha!

(phone rings)

Hello.

LUCY: Hello, Caroline.

Oh, hello, Lucy.

How are you, dear?

Fine, dear, and how are you?

Fine. I'm calling about Little
Ricky's party Saturday.

Oh. Look, Lucy, if you're determined

to have Little Ricky's party on
Saturday,

I'm afraid he's going to be awfully
lonesome.

All the children seem so anxious

to see the magician and the puppets
and the clowns.

Yes, uh, Little Ricky was, too, until
he found out

that Superman's going to be at his
party.

Superman's coming to Little Ricky's
party?

Uh-huh.
Superman? Oh, boy!

Shh!

STEVIE: I want to go to Little
Ricky's party.

CAROLINE: Now, listen, Stevie, you're
having a party of your own.

STEVIE: I don't want a party.

I want to go to Little Ricky's party.

Now, now, Stevie.

I want to see Superman, I want to see
Superman.

CAROLINE: Oh, Stevie, shh...

Is that Little Stevie I hear?

He sounds so cute.

O-kay, Lucy, you win.

We'll change our party.

Well, if you insist, dear.

See you Saturday, then.
Toodle-oo.

Lucy!

What?

Will you hide my sterling silver for
me?

Sure, but why?

Oh, it's Fred.

He's frantic because that apartment
next door

is still empty.

What's that got to do with this?

He's getting that look in his eye

that means he's gonna pawn the family
silver.

Oh, Ethel, he wouldn't do that.

Not your mother's flatware.

He'd pawn me if I had a few more gold
fillings.

Ethel, call the police!

Somebody stole our silver.

Oh, there it is.

What did you want with it, Fred?

Well, I-I noticed last thanksgiving

that it was getting a little
tarnished,

and I want to clean it.

Oh, sure.

Well, then give it to me so I can
clean it.

Oh, no, nothing doing.

Oh...

Well, then what did you do with my
mandolin?

It's downstairs in a box in the
basement.

But you won't get more than cents
on that.

Well, cents is two hamburgers,

and that'll keep us eating for
another day.

(sighs)

Isn't that a pitiful sight?

(wry chuckle)

Poor Fred.

Oh, here, girl.

What's this?

That's your invitation to the party.

I thought it was sort of silly to
mail it with the others.

Oh, honey, you didn't have to invite
us.

I insist that you come.

I need your help.

Our help?

Ethel, we're having ten
five-year-olds.

When they start wrestling and
fighting,

I want you and Fred to help referee.

Oh, but don't forget

you'll have Superman here to keep
them in line.

Well, that might help a little.

Yeah.
(phone rings)

Gee, honey, that's a cute invitation.

Aren't they sweet?

Hello?

Hi, honey.

Oh, hi, we all set with Superman?

Well, I'm afraid not, dear.

You see, I talked to his secretary,

and he's leaving Saturday for Terry
Hoot.

For Terry who?

Terry Hoot.
Terry hoot, Indiana.

He's taking a plane Saturday.

Oh, no.

What's the matter, honey?

Superman pooped out.

Oh, honey, can't he take a later
plane?

That's the only flight that day.

Oh, if he's Superman, what does he
need a plane for?

All right, all right.

Oh, I've already told Little Ricky

and all the other children.

Well, honey, I'm sorry,

but you shouldn't cross your bridges

before they're hatched.

What?

You shouldn't burn your chickens
behind you.

Oh, you know what I mean.

You shouldn't tell people anything
until you're sure.

Oh. Well, I was so certain you'd get
him.

I tried, honey, but I can't, so don't
worry about it.

Little Ricky will have a very nice
party anyway.

Oh, I hope so.

All right, dear, good-bye.

Good-bye, dear.

Oh, dear.

Gee, that's a shame, Lucy.

What are you going to do now?

I don't know.

If I can't produce Superman, my name
will be Supermud.

Well, knowing you, I'm surprised

you don't dress up like Superman

and play the part yourself.

Oh, Ethel, I could never get away

with a silly thing like that.

I'll say you couldn't.

Although... maybe I could find some
ballet tights

and make some sort of a cape,

and then run around the room like
crazy

and they wouldn't know the
difference.

Are you serious?


I don't want to disappoint those
kids.

Now, look, here's what we'll do.

Sometime during the party, you rush
over to the window,

look up into the sky and announce my
arrival.

You mean like this?

Kids, guess who's here?

It's Sup...

The window?

Oh, now, you're not gonna fly in
here?!

Well, not exactly.

Uh, during the party, I'll slip away

and I'll go to the vacant apartment
next door.

I'll go out the window and walk along
the ledge.

The ledge? Honey, that's three
stories high!

You might break your neck.

Well, I'd rather break my neck

than break my promise to Little
Ricky.

Oh, gee, Lucy, I don't know.

Isn't there some other way Superman
comes into a room?

Well, sometimes he comes bursting
through a wall,

but you know how Fred would feel
about that.

Yep, you'd better fly in.

Yeah.

(shouting excitedly)

It's Terry's turn.

Having fun?

ETHEL: Oh, they're having a great
time, honey.

Say, Lucy, Stevie's been asking me
when Superman's coming.

CAROLINE: When is he coming, dear?

Oh, I have a feeling he'll be along
any minute.

ETHEL: Okay, here we go.

There you go.
There you go.

(kids laughing)

(Fred laughing)

He came pretty close.

Lucy, I still say the helmet's wrong.

Superman doesn't wear a helmet.

He would if he wanted to cover his
long, red hair.

I'm just afraid you won't be able

to fool the kids, that's all.

Well, let's hope they're so logy with
ice cream and cake,

they won't know the difference.

Yeah, let's hope so.

Now, look, wait ten minutes, and then
give signal.

Yeah, I will.

You didn't tell Fred, did you?

Oh, of course not.
Good.

Hey, what'll I tell Ricky if he comes
home before you come in?

Oh, just tell him anything.

Anything?

Anything but the truth.

Oh. Good luck.
All right.

Now, Lucy, be careful.

I will.

London bridge is falling down,
falling down, falling down

London bridge is falling down, my
fair lady.

Ha, ha, ha!
(knock at door)

Let's lock him up, lock him up, lock
him up...

Yes?
How do you do?

Oh, look, Martha, a party!

Oh, is the landlord here?

We saw the note on his door.

We'd like to look at the apartment.

that's for rent.

Oh, well, he's busy just now.

You'll have to come back tomorrow.

Those folks want to see the
apartment?

Yes, but I'll show it to them.

You're having so much fun.

Right over here.
Right over here.

London bridge is falling down,
falling down, falling down...

Shoosh, shoosh.

Shoosh! Shoosh!

Go deliver your messages.

Uh, just a minute.

Uh, here it is.

Oh, nice.

Well, now, uh, now then you just, uh,
look around

and I'll be right next door.

Well, we'd like to ask you a few
questions.

Oh, you would?

Yes. Would you redecorate if we
signed a lease?

Well, uh, yes, I think we-we could do
that.

Uh-huh, yes.

Oh, all right, why don't you go to
Central Park?

There's a million statues over there.

Oh, come on, fellas.

Everybody off.

Ah, you big sissy.

Oh, why don't you get off and walk?

I wish I knew some pigeon English.

(car horns beeping)

KIDS: My turn! My turn!

Catch him.

My turn! My turn!

Go get him!
Hurry up.

Hi, kids!

FRED: Hi, Rick.

RICKY: Having a good time?

Want to get into that game?

Yeah, listen, where's Lucy?

Isn't she in the kitchen?

No, but guess who is.

Who?
Superman!

Superman!

Well, you know, when he heard

that it was a birthday party,

he didn't want to disappoint the
kids.

Isn't that great?
Yeah.

You don't... Where, where'd she go?

Ethel said she went out for some more
ice cream,

and she hasn't come back yet.

Oh, dear. I wanted her to be here,

for the surprise, but I can't keep
him too long.

I know it.

Well, we'll have to do it.

All right, children, I got a
wonderful surprise for you.

Now if you all line up there

and close your eyes.

You're gonna get your wish, young
man.

Just close your eyes.

Right there, honey.

Close your eyes.
Don't look now.

Now when I tell you to look, you
look.

You're gonna see your favorite
television star.

Look-- Superman!

(kids cheering)

How about that?

And happy birthday, Little Ricky.

Which one of you is Ricky?

That's me.

That's him right there.

How are you, sweetie?

Happy birthday.

How about that, huh?

Any of you fellows want to wrestle?

KIDS: Yeah! Yeah!

We're not needed here.

Come on, scoot, go home, go home, go
home.

(pigeons cooing)

Heard any good stories lately?

I'm sorry, but I really have to get
back to the party.

Oh, we just love the apartment.

But I'm not sure my wife ought to be
up so high.

Yes, you see, I get dizzy spells.

Oh.

Well, you make up your mind, and then
you let me know.

(car horns beeping)

Shoosh, scoot, scat, scoot, scat.

There's good light.

There's plenty of closet space here.

(screams)

Martha, what is it?

Out there.

I just saw something strange.

Something strange?

Three flights up?

Was it a bird?

No.

Was it a plane?

No.

Well, what was it, dear?

It was Superman!

There, there, Martha.

(screams)

Oh, come, come, come, Martha.

Oh...

We'll look for some basement
apartments.

These heights make you dizzier than I
thought.

Oh, it's raining in.

I'll close the window for Mrs. Mertz.
Ooh!

There. Now, come on,

we'll go home so you can lie down,
honey.

That's it.

(thunder rumbles)

(thunder rumbles)

(thunder rumbles)

(thunder rumbles)

Shoosh.

Oh!

(thunder rumbles)

KIDS: Bye-bye, Superman.

Bye, kids

Bye. Bye.

We're glad you had a good time.

Good-bye, Stevie.

Bye, now.

Glad you had a good time.

Well, Superman,

that was a wonderful thing you did.

Oh, Ricky, it was my pleasure.

I'm only sorry I didn't get to meet
Lucy.

I've heard so much about her.

Yeah, well, I don't know.
Where is Lucy, Ethel?

Oh, she'll be here in a minute.

She's out on the ledge.

Oh.

BOTH: Out on the ledge?!

Out here?
Yes...

What's she doing out there?

Lucy!

Oh, my goodness.

Lucy, are you all right?

LUCY: I'm caught!

Wait... don't move, honey!

I'll come and get you right away.
Wait a minute.

Oh...

No, Daddy, let Superman do it.

All right.
Come on.

Allow me?

Yes, please.

Oh, boy!

Ah!

How do you do?
My name is Superman.

Oh, boy, am I glad to see you.

Tell me, when you're flying around,

do you have cape trouble?

No, but then I've had a lot more
flying time than you have.

Oh.

Lucy, what are you doing out there?!

Oh, I'm fixing the drainpipe.

It was a little loose.

Are you crazy? What are you doing in
that outfit?

Well, uh...

There you are.

Come in here!
I want an explanation.

Okay.

RICKY: Come on in here right now!

Can you teach me to fly?
Uh...

Lucy, of all the crazy things that
you've done

in the years that we've been
married...

Ricardo, do you mean to say

that you've been married to her for
years?

Yeah, years.

And they call me Superman.

(applause)

(band plays dramatic note to
conclusion)

ANNOUNCER: "I Love Lucy", starring
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

was brought to you by new Lilt,

the only home permanent with
squeeze-bottle magic.

The fastest, easiest home permanent
ever.

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

Our guest star tonight was George
Reeves,

star of the Superman series.

"I Love Lucy" is a Desilu Production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

will be back next week at this same
time.
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