03x16 - Pasadena

In the early days of the Internet, you couldn't stream movies or summon Thai food to your doorstep.

But if you were interested in text-based news about upcoming physics lectures, it was a great time to be alive.

Holy moly.

Dad.

Dad!

I'm in the shower!

It's an emergency.

Fine!

Come in.

Dad?

I thought you had to use the bathroom.

At 7:23 in the morning?

Why do I print out schedules if you're not going to read them?

Tell me what you want.

What are we doing next weekend?

This ain't sounding like an emergency.

It is.

Stephen Hawking is giving a lecture, and I really need to go.

Can we talk about this when I'm out of the shower?

Pick up the pace.

According to the schedule that you don't read, I'm due in there in six minutes.

So can we go?

I don't know.

Go take a shower.

I still have two minutes and 15 seconds.

Let's nail this down.

Where's the lecture?

And if the answer's Dallas, we're not going.

- Good news: it's not Dallas.

- Where?

Pasadena, California.

California?

That's a lot further than Dallas.

1,232 miles further as the crow flies.

But kudos to you for being up on your geography.

There's no way we're going to California.

If Stephen Hawking can make it there in a wheelchair, I'm sure we can manage.

Sheldon, airplane tickets are expensive.

Hotels are expensive.

We can't afford it.

But his health is fragile.

This might be my only chance to ever see him in person.

I'm sorry, buddy.

I would like to discuss this further, but I only have 22 seconds to be in the shower, and buttons slow me down.

This is the moment we lost that game.

But one bad play doesn't mean you give up.

We had plenty of time to turn it around, but y'all decided it was over.

I don't want to ever see that happen again.

Next time something seems out of your reach, you do not quit.

You just dig deeper.

Does that mean if I find an affordable flight to California, we can go?

Hi.

Can I help you?

I'm trying to find the cheapest flight to California - for me and my father.

- Okay.

Well, have a seat.

You lookin' to go to Disneyland?

The only ride I'm interested in is the intellectual roller coaster of Stephen Hawking's mind.

And where is that located?

Well Stephen Hawking's head.

But that will be at Caltech in Pasadena.

Got it.

And, uh, when were you looking to fly?

Next weekend.

Oh, wow, that's pretty soon.

Traveling last-minute can be pricey.

Are there any discounts available?

Are you a member of any frequent-flier programs?

No.

I've never flown before.

Well, ways to keep the cost down are: flying on weekdays, multiple layovers, or this probably doesn't apply, but airlines offer special fares if there's been a death in the family.

Interesting.

May I use your phone?

Hello?

What else you got?

Hello?

See ya.

- Where you going?

- Out with Jana.

You've been spending a lot of time with her lately.

Is she your girlfriend?

Dad, can you make her stop?

Yeah, I could but I won't.

Also, I can't.

I just want to know what's going on in your life.

And if this girl is someone special to you, then she's special to me.

Come on.

- Mary, enough.

- What?

I want to know.

Bye.

If it helps, I don't care.

It does.

Thank you.

Why doesn't he tell me anything?

When you were a teenager, did you tell your parents stuff?

Well, no.

Then why do you expect him to?

'Cause I'm a cool, fun mom.

Dad, good news.

Airline tickets to California are more affordable than you think.

Sheldon, we're not going.

What's all this about?

Stephen Hawking is giving a lecture at Caltech.

If we leave on Wednesday and are willing to make four layovers, in Boise, Denver, Albuquerque and Fargo, we can get there for only $95 each.

I have a job I can't just leave in the middle of the week.

W-Well, then what about Mom?

Sorry, Shelly, we're not in a position to do this.

But Stephen Hawking's my hero.

Imagine if you got a chance to see Jesus or Dad got to meet the man who invented beer.

Someone's Underoos are in a knot.

My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.

Then why is there a stick up your butt?

Stop making inquiries about my bottom.

But I enjoy it.

Mom and Dad won't take me to California to see Stephen Hawking.

You thought they would take you - to California?

- Yes.

They wouldn't even buy me this book at the book fair.

I had to get it at the library.

There's a booger on one of the pages.

Well, I may never get another chance to see him in person.

Suck it up.

You always get everything you want.

That's not true.

You got a computer.

- I'm reading a booger book.

- Fine.

How do you recommend I "suck it up"?

I don't know, when you don't get your way, shut up and move on.

- Is that what you do?

- Yeah.

And that's why you don't have a computer.

Georgie is my son I have the right to know who he's spending time with.

You talking about Jana?

You know her?

Well, I don't really know her.

I've seen them hanging out together at Dale's store a couple of times.

She's cute.

Great.

So you know even more than I do.

Always have.

I don't feel I'm being out of line wanting to know how old this girl is or what church she goes to or her last name.

Owens.

What?

Now you know.

Unbelievable!

Oh, geez, you worry about Sheldon not being normal, now you're worried about Georgie being normal how did I raise such a turd?

I am not that word.

If you can't say the word, you might be the word.

Hmm.

Over the next few days, I tried to take my sister's advice and "suck it up.

" But how could I, when everything reminded me of Stephen Hawking?

Hmm.

L-E-A-R-N.

That is correct.

Now spell Oh, dear!

It's actually a shampoo for ladies, but my hair just responds to it.

So, what are you doing Friday night?

No plans.

My parents are gonna be out of town.

Really?

Wanna come over?

My parents won't let me if your folks ain't there.

Okay.

Uh, but I guess I don't have to tell 'em.

Cool.

Okay, that's it.

Nothing was able to shake me from my doldrums, not even Dr.

Sturgis's jaunty new sweater-vest.

Sheldon?

Yes?

You seem distracted.

I really wanted to see Stephen Hawking speak at Caltech, but my parents can't afford the trip.

That's too bad.

Dr.

H puts on a heck of a show.

I believe it.

Would it make you feel better to know this vest is reversible?

A little.

Thanks.

Wait.

I may be able to help you with Hawking.

Really?

This vest is not the only thing that's full of surprises.

Where ya goin'?

Out.

Out where?

Jana's.

Her parents gonna be there?

- Yep.

- Okay.

Let me just call and make sure.

Owens.

Owens.

That's her last name, right?

Owens?

Why are you being so weird?

I'm not being weird.

Are you?

No.

Good.

No one's being weird.

Don't call 'em.

Why not?

Why can't you just trust me?

Because I know that you're lying.

What?

No, I'm not.

I heard you on the phone with Jana.

You spied on me?

I didn't mean to, but I'm glad that I did, because you just lied to my face.

You are not going anywhere.

Try and stop me.

You walk out that door, and your father gets involved.

I don't need this.

Dang.

Dad.

- You missed everything.

- What happened?

Georgie lied to Mom to be alone at Jana's house, but Mom knew 'cause she listened in on his phone call.

Oh, boy.

Now he's grounded and everyone's mad.

Not me.

I'm super happy.

Well bye.

Dad, the university offered to pay for us to go to California!

They're even putting us up in a hotel.

You're kidding.

We're going to California?

No, just me and Dad.

That's fair.

I'm so happy for you.

Sometimes sarcasm was laid on so thick even I could detect it.

Thanks!

This was not one of those times.

I see.

Well, no, that makes sense.

Okay, John, thanks.

Bye.

Sheldon was right.

They're offerin' to pay for the whole trip.

Why?

Sturgis talked to his boss, and they really want to keep Sheldon goin' to school there.

I guess I could take him.

Why you?

He asked me first.

I'm mad at Georgie right now.

It'd be good for us to have some space.

So, you pick a fight with Georgie, and I don't get to go to California?

Fine, you can go.

Thank you.

Have fun managing Sheldon's bathroom schedule in different time zones.

Let me get a picture of my boys before their big trip.

It's smart to document this.

Next time you see me, I'll have been in the presence of Stephen Hawking.

Smile.

I'd prefer to look serious.

This may appear in a textbook someday.

Say, "Stephen Hawking.

" - Stephen Hawking.

- Stephen Hawking.

Aw, you made me smile.

Wash up for dinner.

I ain't eatin'.


Well, you're not watchin' TV.

I can't leave the house, and now I can't watch TV.

Yeah, it's called being grounded.

I can't wait to move out.

What was that?!

Next time, I'll say it on the phone, so you can hear me.

You keep frownin' like that, you're gonna get wrinkles like your meemaw.

You look great.

I know, I just wanted to hear you say it.

What's on your mind?

Sheldon always gets everything he wants.

I guess he does.

That's not fair, huh?

No!

On the other hand, he's just going to some science lecture.

I know, but he gets to go on a plane to California.

Planes aren't all that great.

You can't even smoke on 'em anymore.

I tell you what, after practice today, you and me will do somethin' fun.

Can I have my first cigarette?

No!

Can I get my ears pierced?

Your mom won't like that.

So, maybe.

All right, 34A and B this is us.

All right, you want the aisle or the window?

Which one is assigned to me?

It doesn't matter, just pick one.

Well, if I sit by the window, I can watch the takeoff and landing, but if I sit on the aisle, I'm closer to the bathroom.

Here we go.

Although if I'm by the window, you'll have to get up when I use the bathroom.

But if I'm not, I'll have to get up when youuse the bathroom.

Just pick one.

It's a tricky decision.

My bladder's smaller than yours Everything okay here?

About to be.

Here!

Aisle it is!

We're good.

Oh, okay.

You want to help me with this?

No.

Hey!

You're the one who lied to me.

Well, I'm done talkin' to you, so it'll never happen again.

What?

I know you don't want to talk, and that's fine.

You can just listen.

Life is hard enough if you make good decisions, but if you make bad ones, it gets even harder.

Nothin' was gonna happen with Jana.

- Georgie - No!

You always assume the worst with me.

I'm sorry you were a perfect kid and I'm just a screwup.

You are not a screwup.

And I was not a perfect kid.

Oh, what'd you do, sleep through church one mornin'?

For your information I used to skip class so that I could drink beer in my boyfriend's truck.

Dad had a truck back then?

Not talkin' about your dad.

Whoa.

I also stole your meemaw's car and crashed it into a ditch.

Really?

With that boyfriend who wasn't Dad?

- Missin' the point!

- If the point is you made some bad decisions and turned out fine, then why you being so hard on me?

Because some decisions you cannot walk away from and they will affect the rest of your life.

If you're talkin' about Jana getting pregnant, she ain't gonna.

That is what I thought, and the next thing I know, I'm at the courthouse gettin' married.

You got married because you were pregnant?

Yes.

So, I was a mistake?

No!

No!

You are a blessin'.

The mistake was lyin' to my parents, so that I could spend the night at your dad's house.

And, you know, tequila.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

We're expecting a smooth flight to Los Angeles.

Before we take off, please direct your attention to the flight attendants as they review some important safety procedures.

"Safety procedures"?

Oh, baby.

Take a minute to locate the exit closest to you.

The nearest exit could be behind you.

Should the cabin experience sudden pressure loss, oxygen masks will drop down from above your seat Why would the cabin lose pressure?

- It won't.

- Place the mask over your mouth and nose, like this, pull the strap to tighten it.

If you are traveling with children, make sure that your own mask is on first before helping your child I don't like this at all.

It's just a precaution.

You know perfectly safe.

In the unlikely event of a water landing and evacuation Water landing, water landing, water landing I can't do this.

Keep going, we'll be right back.

Uh, sir?!

- Sheldon, come out of there!

- No!

At least open the door.

Tell them I need to get off.

Sir?

You both need to return to your seats.

Just one second.

Sir.

Sir If you want to see Stephen Hawking, we have to sit down right now.

- It's too dangerous.

I can't!

- It's okay to be scared.

Th-That's when you got to dig deep and be brave.

So, what do you say?

No, I'm your terrified little boy!

Okay.

Sir, please, they're gonna call security!

Just one more second.

Mr. Spock!

He flies around all the time in that spaceship.

He's not afraid, is he?

I'm not Mr. Spock.

No, but-but I've seen you pretend to be him.

Could you do that right now?

You be Spock, I'll be Kirk.

Maybe.

Okay, Mr. Spock.

Your first order is to return to your seat.

Aye, Captain.

Flight attendants, prepare for takeoff.

You okay, Mr.

Spock?

Doing my best, sir.

The captain and Mr.

Spock don't hold hands.

Sorry.

Okay, maybe just this once.

I think we've been lied to about California.

No one on this campus is tan at all.

No, they are not.

Imagine all the stimulating conversations that must go on at these tables.

I bet.

I can see myself going here one day.

I think you'd fit right in.