03x18 - A Couple Bruised Ribs and a Cereal Box Ghost Detector

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Well, we've covered football and grandkids...

Maybe we've run out of stuff to talk about.

We forgot about your ex-husband.

The one you're dating.

Well, I know not to piss him off during a hailstorm.

Well, did he tell you that I was naked when he locked me out?

What were you doing naked with a golf club in a hailstorm?

Ah, you know, it was the '70s.

I was just calling to let you know I read your paper.

The masses for your neutrinos are impossible.

I completely rewrote the whole thing from scratch.

I know credits are usually listed alphabetically, but I'm completely fine with my name going second.

I'm not putting your name on it in any way.

Grant Linkletter. Dr. Sturgis has stolen my work and is using it in his own paper.

How dare you accuse me of plagiarism!

I don't want to see you in my class anymore.

I see, Dr. Sturgis.

Yes, that is unforgivable behavior.

Okay. Bye.

Did he apologize?

No. He is very upset with you.

Well, I'm upset with him.

That doesn't excuse you from trying to get him in trouble by calling Dr. Linkletter.

Who else was I supposed to tattle to?

I doubt his mother's still alive.

Sheldon, I understand why you're upset, but you still owe him an apology.

Then you don't understand.

Well, for now, it sounds like you two could use a little quiet time.

Fine. I'll switch over to Dr. Linkletter's class.

He's a foot taller than Sturgis and can reach more of the chalkboard.

What I meant was... maybe it's time to take a break from your college classes.

What? Why? I've gotten straight As.

I know you're smart enough for college.

I'm just not sure you're mature enough.

Well, it appears you've backed me into a corner.

I would throw a tantrum right now, but that would just prove your point.

Where are you going?

To play with my trains.

Which may sound immature, but it's a hobby many old men enjoy.

I'm the only cheerleader you should be looking at.

Oh. Hi. Oh, I was trying to find you.

Just wanted to wish you a good game. Thank you.

I'm gonna be cheering for you. Great.

Unless I catch you looking at someone else.

Then you'll regret it.

I'm not kidding.

Hi, George.

Oh, hey, Ms. Hutchins.

I don't think I've ever seen you at a game before.

Well, uh, it's Friday, and I promised my therapist I'd try one new thing a week. And you picked football.

Good for you.

I don't suppose Sheldon's here?

Nah, he doesn't much care for outdoor sports.

Or sports.

Or the outdoors.

I was hoping I'd have someone to sit with.

Ah, sorry. That's okay.

It was my fault for letting myself feel hope.

You're welcome to watch from the sidelines.

Thanks. Watching life go by from the sidelines is kind of my thing.

Hey, heads up!

Oh, my God. Are you okay?

I don't think so.

Call an ambulance.

Don't worry, we're gonna get you taken care of.

If I die, tell my therapist I hate him.

And who says you have to be mature to go to college?

I've seen Animal House.

You have? Well, I've seen the poster.

Those people are not college material.

Moon Pie, I know you don't like to hear this, but there are some things in life that can only be learned in time.

So you must have learned them all, huh?

Get out of my house.

Hang in there. I'm hangin'.

Hey, this will be quite a story to tell your grandkids, huh?

I live alone. I'm single.

I don't think grandkids are in the picture.

Oh. Well, I... I got a wife, kids. It's...

It's overrated.

And then my mother said I wasn't mature enough for college.

Can you believe that?

Absolutely.

So you're on their side, too?

I'm Vietnamese. In my culture, until your parents die, you're basically a baby. Really?

My grandmother still treats my dad like a child.

At dinner, he can't sit until she sits, and he can't speak until he's spoken to.

Well, I'm glad I'm not Vietnamese.

It's not as fun as I make it look.

Mm.

Well, you can't bring her home to an empty apartment.

Bring her here, and we'll look after her until she's back on her feet.

You sure? Of course.

We'll set her up in Georgie's room.

Thanks, Mare. See you in a bit.

Hey, George.

It's real nice of you, taking care of her like this.

Well, it was kinda my fault.

Kinda? It was all your fault.

Bye.

Hey.

Hey. How'd we do?

You didn't miss anything. That bad?

I can safely say you saw the best hit of the night.

Whew.

How's she doing?

Well, not bad.

Could be worse.

A little whiplash, couple of bruised ribs, broken arm... and collarbone.

But that's it.

Pretty funny how you jumped out of the way and let her get clobbered.

I did not jump out of the way!

Oh, yeah, you did.

They got you on tape.

Okay, fine.

But that was pure instinct.

Besides, she shouldn't have been standing on the sidelines.

Why was she there?

I told her she could.

Oh, man, you must feel terrible.

Yeah, of course I do.

I mean, it's all on you.

You done?

Oh-ho-ho, baby, I'm just getting started.

Oh, you poor dear. Come on in.

Thanks. I hope I'm not putting you out.

Of course not.

Hi, Sheldon.

Can you believe my mother said I can't go to college?

So you just put her in my room without consulting me?

Consulting you?

Who cares what you think?

Well, I ain't gonna sleep on the couch.

It's just for a few nights until she can take care of herself.

Can I at least stay at Meemaw's?

If you promise not to come back.

Why you got to be so mean to me?

It just feels right.

And then after Dr. Sturgis incorporated my math, he refused to give me a coauthor credit.

Sheldon, she doesn't want to hear about that.

It's okay.

So, when your bones broke, did you hear a crunch?

No.

Did my dad have to give you mouth-to-mouth? No.

I don't know how my mom kisses him.

Next up, we have this rose..

Who buys this crap?

Me, after three beers.

I mean, look at this damn thing.

What was I thinking?

Can I ask you a personal question?

You're not in my will.

It's about my girlfriend.

Uh-oh.

Uh, nothing bad.

It's just, I've been seeing Jana for a while now, and I like her fine... but it feels like she's getting more serious than I want to be.

Georgie, until you're married, you are not tied down to anybody.

You just go ahead and do whatever you want.

Play the field. Have some fun.

Interesting.

That's what Dale said, too.

Oh, did he?

Yeah.

My boyfriend?

Yeah.

If I don't go to college, what am I supposed to do?

Spend all my days in high school?

How sad is that?

Pretty sad.

You always did get me.

Sounds like you're feeling misunderstood.

I am... by Dr. Sturgis, my mother, and possibly the entire Vietnamese culture.

Do you understand that I'm in a little bit of pain right now?

Oh, I'm sorry. I should be exhibiting compassion.

Aw.

Wait, I can do better.

Aw.

Nailed it.

It's time for your pain pill.

Be careful. You could become addicted and lose your job.

Which is all you have.

Get out of here.

Thank you.

You-you comfortable?

Can I get you anything else?

No. I-I'm okay.

You've been so kind to welcome me into your home.

Well, it's the least we could do.

It's so nice to be around a family like this.

I've been alone for... so long.

Honestly, if it weren't for the cats, I'd have no one.

Oh, wait. The cats!

I abandoned Edgar and Allan.

Edgar and Allan?

Poe ran away.

Would you please go feed them and tell them I love them?

Uh... any chance this could wait till morning?

I guess.

Where you off to?

Cats!

So you think he's seeing somebody else?

I don't think I should be talking about this.

He's my boss. Well, he's my boyfriend, so spill it.

It's weird when old people say "boyfriend".

Fine. My lover.

Well, that's worse.

Then talk!

The only woman I've really seen him with is his ex-wife. Oh, yeah, but he hates her.

Don't seem like it.

What do you mean by that?

They seem friendly. How friendly?

I don't know. He's nice to her. How nice?!

Do you mind? I'm trying to watch this.

Now look at this little guy...

Son of a bitch!

Here! Edgar! Or Allan.

Whichever the hell one you are.

They ever leave the store together?

Can I please just go to bed?

Just answer the damn question.

I feel like I'm gonna get fired for this.

Georgie, don't worry.

Anything you say is gonna stay right here.

But you lie all the time.

I learned to lie from you.

See what a special bond we have?

Now answer the damn question!

Why were you gone for so long?

I don't want to talk about it.

Whoa. What's that?

It's a ghost detector that came in my cereal box.

It's just a piece of paper.

Then why did it move in my hand?

From perspiration.

Or ghosts.

Mornin'.

Did you check on Ms. Hutchins?

Is she still alive?

Of course she is. Why?

No reason.

I'm gonna go eat my breakfast with her.

Sheldon, just let her rest.

It's okay. She enjoys my company.

Also, she understands what I'm going through with Dr. Sturgis.

Excuse me.

I am just trying to help you grow up to be a functional adult.

Me? This one's looking for cereal ghosts.

Looking for and found 'em.

I don't care. You are not ready for college.

If it were up to you, I'd still be in grade school.

If you think this is mature behavior, it isn't!

Being a mom's hard, isn't it?

Sometimes.

If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you.

Ooh, it's moving again.

You're so lucky.

You're gonna have to walk me through that.

Well, you don't have anyone in your house telling you what you can or can't do.

Right, Sheldon.

I don't have anyone.

I just said that.

Are you becoming a drug addict already?

Mornin'.

Got you some Shipley's Do-Nuts and coffee.

What happened to your face?

Oh. Uh... either Edgar or Allan.

Oh, that was Edgar.

He can be a rascal.

Good mornin'.

Mornin'.

Did you sleep good?

Yeah.

Want some pancakes?

Sure.

Just one more question about Dale.

Bye.

There we go.

Nice little bite-size pieces.

Thanks, George, but I-I think I can manage.

No, no. My pleasure.

He feels so guilty, he'll do anything you ask him.

That's enough from you. He bought me an Easy-Bake Oven when he closed the car door on my thumb.

Unlike my mother, who feels no guilt after hurting her children.

How dare you.

I am trying to keep you safe until such a time as you can make adult decisions.

I can make them now. Hey, hey. We have a guest.

Let's pretend like we like each other.

Mare, do your grace thing.

♪ I love the melody... ♪ You okay with Mexican?

Oh, yeah. Terrific.

All right.

Now, I got Tums in the glovebox for the ride home.

Great.

So, you talk to June lately?

Uh, not in a couple of days. Why?

Oh, no reason.

I was just kind of thinking about calling her myself.

I mean, if you're okay with that.

You want to call my ex-wife, go ahead.

Call her.

Well, I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable.

Yeah, you would.

Yeah, I would.

I think it's nice that y'all get along as well as you do.

Mm-hmm.

Where are we going with this?

Oh, just nothing. Makin' conversation.

Okay.

You sleeping with her?

Lord, no.

She's my ex-wife. Come on.

Oh, my gosh, what kind of sicko sleeps with their ex-wife?

Where is this coming from?

Are you jealous?

No.

I'd just like to know, you know, what kind of relationship we're in.

I mean, are we seeing other people or what?

Connie Tucker, are you asking me to go steady?

You know what I'm asking, jackass.

All right, all right, all right.

You listen to me. Now, I'm 72 years old.

Do you think I have enough stamina to go playing around with other women?

You saying the only reason you're seeing me is you're too old and tired to see anybody else?

Give me the Tums.

I could kiss you forever.

Uh, that's kind of a long time.

You got somewhere else to be?

No. It's just that, eventually, we're gonna get hungry.

Why do I keep getting the feeling you're not into this?

Oh, I am into this.

But?

I mean, we're real young, and who knows what's gonna happen?

I know. And you should, too.

Don't feel bad.

I don't know lots of stuff.

So, as long as we're on the subject, are you seeing anybody else?

No.

How about that nutty professor?

We're just friends.

Yeah, well, that's what June and I are... just friends.

So what are we?

I don't know.

What do you want to call it?

I guess, a... committed relationship.

Mm. Works for me.

Okay. Hmm.

It's settled.

Connie.

This relationship is suffocating me.

What'd I say?

I'm not enough for you.

I didn't say that.

Just be honest.

You want to date other girls.

I don't want to date other girls instead of you, just... in addition to you.

Drop dead.

Okay, but I'm gonna follow you and make sure you get home safe!

Do whatever you want.

If you walk to Dairy Queen, I'll buy you a Blizzard.

Want me to turn on some music?

Well, this is just delicious, Mary.

Thank you.

Bite-sized enough for you?

Oh. Perfect.

How long do I have to sit here and sulk before someone asks me what's wrong?

Maybe people are tired of hearing about it.

Ms. Hutchins, would you care to chime in?

Oh, I-I don't want to get in the middle of a family issue, but...

I will say that I once had a falling out with someone very close to me.

What happened?

We ended up parting ways on bad terms.

I-I still regret it.

But you were right and they were wrong?

You know what, it doesn't feel like it matters anymore.

And not a day goes by that I don't miss them.

Perhaps I do owe Dr. Sturgis an apology.

I was talking about your mother.

I'll circle back to her.

Thank you.

I can't believe you got through to him.

Happy to help.

So, who was the person you had the fight with?

It was my cat, Poe.

She ran away when I switched to dry food.

It was cheaper.

Good night, baby. Night, Mama.

I'm really sorry, Mom.

I forgive you.

But just because you straightened things out with Dr. Sturgis doesn't mean you're going back to college.

Yes, it does. No, it doesn't.

I hope you know you're jeopardizing our relationship.

I will take that risk.

Good night.

You know I'll eventually wear you down.

We'll see.

I'm pretty tough.

I eventually wore her down.

There's just so much of me anybody can take.

In local news, Friday night's football game was marred by a brutal injury, when football coach George Cooper saved himself at the expense of beloved school librarian Cheryl Hutchins.

Oh, no.

We warn you, the following footage is hard to watch.

Well, then, don't show it.

Let's see it again in slow motion.

This is not news.