01x02 - I'll Deal With Him Later

Episode transcripts for the TV show "k*lling Eve". Aired April 8, 2018 to current.*

Moderator: kenny_stowton

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Two woman, Eve who is bored with her job that doesn't fufill her fantasies of being a spy and Villanelle, a talented k*ller are equally obsessed with each other, will go head to head in an epic game of cat and mouse.
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01x02 - I'll Deal With Him Later

Post by bunniefuu »

I said it was probably a woman.

We think she's been operating

for two years across countries.

She's highly skilled and, as yet, untraceable

and, frankly, she's starting to show off.

Argh!

KONSTANTIN: Your fancy hairpin is all over the press.

Don't worry, I've got another one.

Wear it down.

Oh, my God! Somebody help me!

- You're fired.
- You're a d*ck-swab.

- Oi!
- Thank you, Bill.

No, I was gonna call you a d*ck-swab!

Are you feeling perky? I'd love to buy you breakfast

at the Purple Penguin restaurant by Charing Cross.

[UNLOVED'S "THIS IS THE TIME" PLAYS]

[THROUGH EARPHONES] ♪ This is the time ♪

♪ To give you a reason ♪

♪ This is the time to bare our souls ♪

♪ This is the time to tell you the real truth ♪

♪ You know what I feel is a whole other law ♪

♪ I have to say that sometimes it hurt me ♪

♪ I have to tell you that often I cry ♪

[MUSIC FADES]

[MOBILE SPEED DIALS]

[RINGS]

[SPEAKING BULGARIAN]

[GASPING AND PANTING]

[SPEAKING BULGARIAN]

- I don't speak Bulgarian.
- I have children.

I have a family. Please tell me what this is all about.

I can give you anything you want.

- I have money! Please!
- I want you to stand still.

[GRUNTS]

- Oh... sorry!
- [GROWLS]

Don't!

[WHIMPERS]

[SOBBING]

Who are you?

Huge question.

Why are you doing this to me?

I have absolutely no idea.

♪♪

[EXPIRING BREATHS]

♪♪

[SIGHS]

[RASPBERRIES]

[CIGARETTES AFTER SEX'S "K" PLAYS]

♪ I remember when I first noticed ♪

♪ That you liked me back ♪

♪ We were sitting down in the restaurant ♪

♪ Waiting for the check ♪

- Carolyn?
- Eve. Hi.

- Oh, sorry, were you, um...
- Sit down.

- Were you...
- I was just...

Oh, I know.

Sit down.

- [BANGS TABLE]
- Sorry.

I'm not very good at "How are you?" et cetera,

- so I'm just gonna dive in.
- Oh, sure.

- Y-You're from Connecticut?
- Oh, uh, yes.

Correct.

Well, I was born here,

but I moved there when my parents separated.

And when my father d*ed, I came back

and I basically married my dad. [LAUGHS]

No, I mean, he's not...
He's nothing like my...

He's much more, um, you know, physical.

Around the house.

Um, I'm a little on edge.

Eve, you know when something like this happens

- and someone gets...
- Fired?

Yes. Fired.

Their computer and hard drive get swept.

Oh, God.

They found this.

Oh.

Oh. [LAUGHS]

Oh, I thought you were gonna pull out all the pictures

we took of Frank eating. [CHUCKLES]

Did you compile this on your own?

Yes.

- No one asked you to do it?
- No.

- Has anyone else seen it?
- I mean... No.

- Why did you do this?
- Can I get a gin and tonic?

We don't open the bar in the mornings.

Two gin and tonics, please.

Yes, madam.

You seem to know a lot about female assassins.

Yeah, well, I, um...

I used to study criminal psychology

and I was just interested in what makes a per...

I mean, a woman able to... um...

I-It's not a... You know what,

I'm... I'm just a fan.

Why did you compile these specific cases?

Well, I, um...

Uh, I was... I was...
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Sorry.

- I was aware...
- Say it.

I believe there is a female assassin

operating internationally

and she's targeted a number of influential people.

She doesn't have a signature, but she certainly has style

and I don't know who or what is behind her,

but I don't think she's slowing down

and just that interested me, I guess.

But also apparently makes me a fantasist

and a crackpot and completely on my own.

And, you know, frankly, I don't give a sh*t anymore.

She is outsmarting the smartest of us,

and for that, she deserves to do or k*ll

whoever the hell she wants.

I mean, if she's not k*lling me,

then, frankly, it's not my job to care anymore.

[SIGHS] Thank you.

Can I show you something?

[UNLOVED'S "AFTER DINNER" PLAYS]

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

I once saw a rat drink from a can of Coke there.

Both hands.

Extraordinary.

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪♪

There's rather a hotchpotch of people here.

♪♪

[ELECTRONIC BEEP, BUZZER]

Excuse the smell.

♪♪

What is this?

Well, from what I can gather from this morning,

it's your hunch all over my wall.

- Did you do this?
- Sort of.

I have someone who keeps tabs

on anything that might lend itself to the theory.

No trace. No pattern.

But most importantly, no one owning up to it

- and someone usually does.
- But is this not something

you're supposed to be
looking into officially?

I tried. But there was a lack of enthusiasm for it

which could read two ways.

I'm a naturally suspicious person

and I have a budget to exercise that.

This is an unofficial official tap on the shoulder.

Aren't there more qualified people?

- I want you.
- Why?

Well, your research

clearly speaks for itself,

you're intuitive and you make insane suggestions.

- Thank you.
- And you've been fired,

so no one cares about what you do next.

I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Oh, thank you.

There's hardly any money, there's no ladder.

You're completely deniable.

It's like I've walked into the inside of my brain.

- A-And you want me to...
- Find her.

She's on a payroll, there's a pattern,

we just haven't worked it out yet.

But if we get her, it'll be a start.

[BUZZER]

Oh, my God.

Sorry. There's just... there's never anyone in here.

Kenny, this is Eve.

I'm hoping she'll be joining you.

Oh. Okay.

- Hi.
- Sorry about the smell.

Kenny lives on the Internet.

He can find anything, track anything, trace anything,

monitor anything or anyone.

Essentially, he's been gathering the evidence.

I need people to put it together now.

People?

You can have two.

I'd recommend small ones.

♪♪

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

I don't know the word in French.

Your eye is...

- Are you hurt?
- No.

- I like your trousers.
- Oh. Oh, thank you.

Yes, I made them myself.

My name is Sebastian.

♪♪

Oh, hi.

Letting yourself into my apartment

and drinking from a tiny cup

doesn't make you intimidating, by the way. It's just rude.

I'm not trying to intimidate you.

What happened to your eye?

I wanted it to match my jacket.

- Do you want a smoothie?
- No.

I want you to get assessed again.

- London was...
- [WHIRRING]

[WHIRRING STOPS]

... meant to look like su1c1de.

- It didn't?
- So she slit her own throat?

- It happens.
- And k*lled four other people?

Slip of the hand?

Why are you being naughty?

I'm excited about my next one.

No.

No more target until you are assessed.

But this one has asthma.

You know I like the breathy ones.

- Hmm?
- No.

- Will it be Jerome?
- Yes.

I'll wear my chicken fillets, then.

They're things you put in your bra.

I know what they are.

[JEROME SPEAKS RUSSIAN]

Ooh.

She won't speak Russian anymore.

Oh.

Thank you for making such an effort, Villanelle.

[CHUCKLES]

How do you feel about the people who you work for?

I respect their privacy.

Do you have any interest in why

you are asked to do what you do?

There are concerns about your state of mind.

Okay.

Have you been feeling any... anxieties

or stress recently?

I had quite a heavy period last week,

but other than that, I think I'm okay.

When was the last time you worked?

Yesterday.

Was it a successful mission?

Yes. I sh*t him twice in the heart

and watched the spark drain from his eyes.

- Did you talk to him?
- A little, mm.

He said he had children and offered me money.

What did you feel when he said those things?

Impatient.

What do you see in this picture?

Good legs.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

I'm sorry.

[LAUGHING]

Your face!

[LAUGHING]

Aw.

She's fine.

Thank you.

No, wait.

I have one more.

So, Villanelle...

[IN RUSSIAN]

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[SIGHS]

That's not Anna.

Who is it?

It's my mother.

[CHUCKLES] I'm joking.

My mother had really thin, shitty hair. [CHUCKLES]

Yes, I see what you mean.

Thank you, Villanelle.

But I won't sign you off.

♪♪

What were you two doing in there?

We are doing you a favor.

The security is too tight anyway.

[SCOFFS] Come on!

I'm serious.

I've done three weeks' catering training.

[LAUGHS] No, you haven't.

Look, I have the little outfit.

You save it for your birthday party, then.

I want to do it. You tell them that I'm fine.

You like Paris, huh? You like your life.

It's good to have someone worried about you, huh?

And who worries about you?

I do.

- [CHUCKLES] No, you don't.
- [QUIETLY] I do.

No, you don't.

[EXHALES]

[DISTANT SIREN]

And you wonder why I'm worried about you?

[CHUCKLES]

Go home. Do something normal.

♪♪

[MALE VOICE IN FRENCH ON RADIO]

- [WOMAN LAUGHS ON RADIO]
- [IMITATES LAUGHTER]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[TREADMILL POWERS DOWN]

- [FEMALE VOICE ON RADIO]
- [PANTING]

[MAN AND WOMAN CONVERSE ON RADIO]

[PANTING]

Arnica. It is the best thing for bruises.

Thank you, Sebastian.

If you ever want to talk to anyone or...

I-I just wanted to make sure you were all right.

What are you doing now?

- Um, right now?
- Mm.

Um, canceling all the plans I had.

Okay.

- Let's go out.
- Okay. What do you want to do?

Something normal.

SEBASTIAN: What? They cannot do that.

- They have.
- No. Go anyway. It's your job.

[LAUGHS]

- You are so passionate.
- Well, of course I am.

I'm an artist and I am upset.

Now, I don't know much about the...

- Perfume industry.
- Okay, but I know that

you cannot let people stand in your way.

You have to show ambition.

You have to... You have to sell your perfume.

You have to prove the bastards wrong.

[STREET BAND PLAYS]

Here they are! Oh, I'm so pleased they are here.

Now, do you like music?

I like national anthems.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Why is that funny?

I don't know. You're just, um... surprising.

Where did you come here from?

- Where did you come here from?
- Um, Spain.

To do a summer school at the IFA, the design school,

um, get away for a bit, fall in love.

You know, all the reasons people come to Paris.

Do you know her?

No.

I want to see your apartment.

- [BANGING]
- SEBASTIAN: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I... Please, slow down.

No, wait... Oh... I'll be finished very soon.

I think I might...

Slow down! Please slow down!

Ahh! Slow...

Oh, my...

Oh...

Oh... [PANTING]

Did you?

Yes.

I am never going to hurt you.

[MOPED PASSES]

[BIRDSONG]

[DISTANT CLOCK CHIMES]

- Where are you going?
- Work.

Good. Good luck selling your perfume.

[BRIGITTE BARDOT'S "CONTACT" PLAYS]

Bonjour.

[SPEAKS FRENCH]

[GIGGLES]

♪ Une météorite m'a transpercé le coeur ♪

♪ Vous, sur la terre, vous avez des docteurs ♪

♪ Contact ♪

♪ Contact ♪

This is unusual.

Ah. You just wait.

Oh, hold on.

Someone else coming?

You're kidding!

All I had to say was "Carolyn Martens."

Quitting is literally

everything I've been aiming for.

- I told you he'd do it.
- Okay, come on.

And please, be professional.

You asked her first?

Susa Maron, found hanging in a ladies' toilet

- in a Japanese airport.
- Okay.

Boris Ivanovich, humanitarian aid.

k*lled in his hotel bedroom in Budapest.

- Why a woman?
- He had -hour security

and the only people who entered his room were hotel maids.

Okay.

Cesare Greco. Mafia. Had recently and violently

taken over a drug cartel in Sicily.

k*lled at his anniversary party in Tuscany.

Now, his wife said she saw a blonde woman

wearing one of her dresses.

And a kid said a blonde woman was playing a game with him

in the same room where Greco was k*lled

with a hairpin moments later.

So witnesses saw a woman wearing a dress

and playing with children. Very suspicious.

Sort of ignoring the hairpin thing there.

Okay. But neither wife or child

actually witnessed the k*ll, so...

No one witnessed any of the others either.

- No, except for Kasia.
- Who was full-on m*rder*d.

But didn't Kasia say the k*ller was a brunette?

Oh, come on. She would have disguised herself.

Or it's a different person.

Did Forensics find anything out from the hospital k*ll?

- One full profile, but no matches.
- Okay.

- Any witnesses to that k*ll?
- No.

Any witnesses from the hospital at all?

There was no one in the corridor at the time of the m*rder

besides the security guards and the nurse.

- Who were all k*lled.
- So nothing

- to implicate the same woman.
- Except that Kedrin

was k*lled by a woman, and the witness to that k*ll

was then m*rder*d, so it doesn't take a genius to put...

Other than that, can you give me a single discernable motive

for one person to k*ll all these people?

Why don't you want to believe they're all the same woman?

Because the moment any of us want to believe anything,

we've undermined this entire investigation.

Yes, but we have to follow through...

Look, I'm not denying your theory,

but you have to be open to the possibility that

what you have here is a series of random att*cks

that you are loosely hanging together with a pretty ribbon.

Have you got something you need to get off your chest, Bill?

You can't lead a team with assumptions.

It's not how it's done.

- Is there a bathroom here?
- I'll show you.

[BUZZER]

[DOOR CLOSES]

What?

It's best that you bring in your own

or it just disappears.

How many sheets do you need?

I'm just gonna take the roll

and bring it back afterwards, if that's okay.

Okay, sure.

♪♪

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

♪♪

Kenny, are you able to get the names and photo IDs

of the nurses on duty at the hospital that night? In fact,

all the female nurses working at the hospital,

whether they were working on Kasia's ward or not.

- Sure.
- Why?

There was a young woman, a nurse,

who left the bathroom before I did.

Maybe she could have seen... some...

- Where's Bill?
- He left in a sulk.

Oi!

Are you serious?

I have backed you for over years,

now I'm asking you to see it

from my perspective for five minutes,

and you literally run away?

I'm getting chocolate.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- Your blood sugar's low?
- Yeah.

Oh, good. 'Cause I thought you were just being a monkey d*ck

about not being the boss.

I don't know what a monkey d*ck is.

- Oh-ho, yes, you do.
- Okay.

I'm sorry. I'm adapting.

[SCOFFS] Jesus!

But you're still not considering overall motive.

- If we focus on her...
- What do we care about her?

She's the lackey. You need to focus on who's running her.

- She's irrelevant.
- She's completely relevant.

We have to ask what is her motive.

Either they have something on her, controlling her,

or they're lavishing her with something...

Exactly. They. Who is the they? It could be anyone.

That's the point. It could be Mossad for all we know.

If it was someone with enemies, they would have owned up to it.

Or been exposed for at least one of these kills by now.

What are you saying?

There are no trails.

If they are random, then fine, they're random.

But if they're not, that means someone's plan

is going really well.

These people are powerful and particular

and, so far, completely invisible.

Which means they're probably everywhere.

Our only visible contact is her.

And that is why we have to focus on everything

we know about her in order to get to them.

And what do we know?

Her DNA isn't on file, there's no image.

She's young, smart, uh, fit.

She must speak multiple languages.

She brings a certain flair to her kills.

Hairpin was cool.

You know, either they trained her

or they found her. Either way,

I'd say she scores high on the psychopathy scale.

And she probably k*lled before she was paid to.

Well, that's a good start, then, isn't it?

Thank you.

Get me something with nuts in?

Yes, boss.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]




Kenny, what's your reach in terms of access

to medical and prison records?

No wall I can't scale.

Okay, I want you to search for any young women

who have been detained, hospitalized, or whispered about

displaying violent or psychopathic tendencies

between the ages of and .

- Where?
- The world.

- That's insane.
- Wall too high?

- It would take me months.
- That's fine.

Elena, call Frank and ask him for a drink tonight.

I want to know what happened with that CCTV.

What? Oh, no.
He'll think it's really weird

- and he'll never agree to it.
- Say it's a goodbye drink.

I want to know about that CCTV.

[SIGHS]

I just want to get a look at her.

Kenny, when do you think I can get those hospital IDs by?

- This evening?
- Okay, great. Thanks.

Well, that was disturbingly easy.

Tragically, he's already at the pub.

Okay, good. Go, and we'll catch you up.

[SIGHS]

If he lunges, it's on your head.

If we find out what happened to that CCTV, it'll be worth it.

[UNLOVED'S "I COULD TELL YOU BUT I'D HAVE TO k*ll YOU" PLAYS]

♪♪

Bonjour, Claudie.

[CHUCKLES]

♪♪

[MAN SHOUTING IN FRENCH]

♪♪

♪ I could tell ♪

♪ I could tell you ♪

♪ I could show ♪

♪ I could show you ♪

♪ I could tell ♪

♪ I could tell you ♪

♪ But I'd have to k*ll ♪

♪♪

[BELL RINGS]

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

Tomas.

Stefanie.

Frances.

Marie.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

Excusez-moi.

♪♪

[WOMEN CONVERSING IN FRENCH]

♪♪

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[CHUCKLES]

Oh...

[WHEEZES AND COUGHS]

[COUGHING]

[GASPS]

[CONTINUES GASPING]

[COUGHS AND GASPS]

[COUGHING]

[WHEEZING]

[CHUCKLES]

[GASPING]

[CHUCKLES]

Bye-bye.

Hey, Frank!

- What a coincidence.
- Small world.

Well, this is very uncomfortable.

Do you think you should find a new pub?

I just wanted to apologize for calling you a d*ck-swab.

After you fired us.

And me, too.

Yeah, well,

there was really nothing I could do, so...

I know. It's fine, Frank, really.

Did you actually see the CCTV, mate?

- What CCTV?
- Yeah, what CCTV?

Of the Kedrin... assassin.

Did you set this up?

- No.
- No, I did.

I just want to be really clear

that I wasn't asking you out out.

God, I'm a knob.

Did you think I was asking you out out?

No! Of course not.

- I just thought...
- Oh, my God, Frank.

- No, I wasn't asking you out.
- No.

Do you want to know what I thought?

I thought one person might have thought,

maybe one person might have asked me for a drink

after my wife bloody... d*ed, and I thought, yeah,

I thought maybe you were that person, that kind person.

Oh, Jesus, Frank. I'm sorry.

The fact that you're still asking about all this

is ludicrous.

It's just that I spoke to the Vienna police

and they said there was no CCTV evidence

- attached to the case.
- Yes. Fine. Yes.

Because I made up the bloody CCTV.

Wha... Uh, why?

- Why?
- Because!

Because... it was not your investigation.

And taking bets on people's K*llers,

very disrespectful to the dead.

You should have just been doing your job.

- So there was never any CCTV?
- No.

I was just sick of you

piping up with your theories

any time there was a sniff of conspiracy in the air.

You tiresome think-bucket!

- Easy, mate.
- Sorry.

Uh...

Sorry.

I have to go and get the kids.

Well, that'll be in a cab, then. Come on.

There you go. Mm-hmm.

You know, what you both did today

was massively insensitive.

[MOUTHING WORDS]

I'm only walking you to the cab, all right?

God, I feel awful.

- Did you know about his wife?
- Mm-hmm.

You?

Mm-hmm.

- Oh, those poor kids.
- Yeah.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh, nothing exciting.

Just, um, a hot yoga class.

I tidied the study.

[HUMMING]

You look like you've been on holiday or something.

What do you mean?

Dunno.

You're sort of... glowing.

- Gosh!
- Mm. Lady of leisure.

Must be all the yoga.

I'm working for MI .

[LAUGHS]

No, I was right about the assassin.

They want me to trace her.

Sounds dangerous.

I know.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Yes. She's k*lling people.

And that's why you want to do it?

You look exhausted. Why don't you go up to bed?

We'll talk about it tomorrow.

Hmm?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Don't stay up too late.

[GRUNTS]

- I'm halving your allowance.
- I wouldn't recommend that.

- You disobeyed me.
- You lied to me.

You said it was impossible.

SEBASTIAN: [KNOCKING] Hello?

Hi.

Hi.

I'm, uh, I'm her brother.

He... He has a condition.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm... I'm Sebastian.

I'm... I'm a friend of Julie.

Oh. Nice to meet you, then.

- How was the job?
- Oh, so good.

Good. Did she like your perfume?

She loved it.

Can I smell it now?

Her boss was being a total bastard.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, yeah. They always are.

Yeah.

Shall I come back later?

Oh. Shall I come back later?

Ah, thank you.

I will come to you.

[INHALES] Are you wearing it now?

No.

Are you okay?

Do you want me to stay?

No, I'm okay.

Oh, I um... I got you a gift.

Thank you.

I'll, uh... I'll keep it warm.

[DOOR CLOSES]

You need to deal with him.

He's my boyfriend.

Ah, congratulations. He has kind eyes.

Why did you lie to me?

There was no security.

I don't have to tell you.

- You just have to trust me.
- [LAUGHS] No.

You have to trust me.

Okay, we can fight.

But you will get tired,

and I will get bored, and you don't like it when I'm bored.

If I k*ll you, they will just send me another one.

I thought you worried about me.

You're so dramatic.

Tell me.

A woman in London

is leading a department just to find you.

No, it's not a good thing.

It's a closed operation.

And we don't know what they know, but we are working on it.

We just need to be subtle at the moment.

- I can be subtle.
- Good.

Mm. But it's going to be expensive.

- What's her name?
- Why?

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Eve Polastri.

Eve Polastri.

[CORK POPS]

We'll continue as usual. Just be aware.

- I'm always aware.
- [CRASH]

Dealt with.

Oh, for...

[ "LE MARSEILLAISE" PLAYS]

♪♪

[BUZZER]

♪♪

Are you all right?

♪♪

[CHUCKLES]

You too, huh?

- I couldn't sleep.
- Mm.

Staring into the abyss?

- No, I...
- What?

I think I've met her.
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