02x05 - Happy Heckling

(LIVELY CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

You either need to break up with Raj or take him off your team.

MARIANA: I'm gonna miss working with you so much.

And, hey, I don't want you to worry about Evan.

If he ever crossed a line, trust that I would shoot it down right away.

So, I was wondering if you would like to get a drink with me sometime.

To talk next steps on the app.

- Sure.

When?

- How about now?

- Oh, my God, we loved your set!

- Yeah, you're hysterical.

Look, I don't have to go to the queer comedy night.

Yes, you do.

So, you're not breaking up with me?

No.

'Cause I'm falling in love with you.

GAEL: I haven't had the chance to thank you for making her dress.

It's stunning.

This is Callie.

She's our new research assistant.

Oh, good.

You served a demand letter?

That's what you said we do.

We, as in one of the licensed lawyers.

I don't expect you to invite me to every party at The Coterie.

Because I didn't want to flaunt my choice in front of Gael at his sister's party.

So, I'm your choice?

- Yes.

- In that case, all is forgiven.

- (MUFFLED LAUGHTER)

- (COMEDIAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Look at that jacket.

It is a travesty that a cow had to die for you to look almost all right.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

(LAUGHTER, SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

MARIANA: So, the next steps on the app.

EVAN: I wanted to talk to you about something personal.

(ECHOING): What kind of law do you practice?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

CALLIE: But this remodel has been so stressful.

I really need a vacation.

Good Trouble 2x05 Happy Heckling Pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa, pa-pa Pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa, pa-pa And then we'll find our peace of mind You and me, bel ami Pa-pa-pa, pa-pa Why do you have to go back to the Blue Team?

They never replaced me.

ALEX: Did you mean to write "pubic static"?

- It should be "public".

- SAM: No, no, no.

Public.

- Public.

- ALEX: It's what Ah!

Look who's back from the vaganerian.

How did the neutering go?

Is it itchy?

Do you need a cone of shame?

The least she could have done is let him keep his balls.

SAM: Right?

Like in a jar or something.

- I feel so bad.

- RAJ: It's okay.

I'll survive.

Hey, so what happened with Raj?

Well, you know what to say.

Well, the plan was always for me to work on the back end and once the beta test was successful,

- bring Claire in

- to work on the front end.

- SAM: Mm.

- So, she just wanted you for your back end.

Baby got back end.

But clearly, the front was not impressive.

SAM: No, I'm not impressed, at all.

What was that for?

For being amazing.

So, uh, how late did you end up working last night?

(CAR HONKS)

Not that late.

So, next steps on the app.

Actually, that's not why I asked you to have drinks with me.

I wanted to talk to you about something more personal.

Oh.

I wanted to talk to you about dating.

CARY: All these student loan lenders are predatory, if you ask me.

And what about the colleges?

Tuition has doubled over the past three decades.

But salaries haven't.

Which is why I can't afford to go to grad school.

I still owe $65,000 as it is.

But hopefully, I'll find a rich husband.

Sixty-five K?

Oof.

Mine is half that.

What's a law degree setting you back these days?

- You don't want to know.

- Come on, Marcus.

We're all friends here.

One-ten-ish?

- Wow.

- Yikes.

And that was a couple of years ago.

What about you?

What are you carrying?

Or did you have your college paid for?

Like, he thinks I'm some entitled rich girl who's never had to work for anything.

- He doesn't know me.

- So, set him straight.

No, I shouldn't have to play the foster kid card just to get him to stop judging me.

Actually, I was a foster kid.

And when I eventually met my biological father, he insisted on setting up a college fund for me.

So Well, I think that's great!

Yeah, you're fortunate to start your career with such a big leg up.

I'm sure once you actually pass the bar, you'll have lots of opportunities.

Do you know who else didn't pass the bar the first time?

Jerry Brown, Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, and FDR.

They all ended up having pretty solid careers.

I can't believe I was so full of myself.

Quitting my clerkship, thinking I was going to get a job at the ACLU.

Now I'm a research assistant, making half of what I was.

Meanwhile, Mariana's stuck paying two-thirds of our rent, and she has her own student loans to pay.

Been lost, been found

- Bound with temptation

- I haven't gotten the job yet.

- I'm pretty sure I'm going to get it.

- I've been uptight, you got me right I'm back into my groove Keep it pumping give me something That I could get used to I could always help out.

No.

No.

No, no, no.

So, that's a no?

No, you have always been beyond supportive of me.

In fact, what can I do for you, for once?

Besides get naked?

You can come with me to this partner's event this weekend.

I'm one of the only junior lawyers invited.

- It's kind of a big deal.

- I'm there.

Nice.

- Wait, when is it?

- Saturday.

This Saturday?

TERESA: Don't forget we're working Saturday.

We work one a month for clients who can't get here during the week.

- All of us?

- Yes.

All of us.

Knock, knock.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

- Hey.

- Oh, hey.

What do you think?

This one or this one?

Uh, I like the leather jacket.

Yeah, I could use the extra body armor.

Where are you going?

The comedy club.

Check out some acts.

"Make connections".

Uh, do you want to come?

- Oh, no, thanks.

- Great.

Um, actually, I was gonna ask if there may be some odd jobs I could do around here for maybe a little break on rent.

Money's kind of tight and all.

Um Well, okay, just I'll leave you to it.

(CHUCKLES)

Just call me if you need anything.

(DOOR CLOSES)

I think this is more awkward for her.

It doesn't have to be awkward.

No, I know.

I really appreciate you letting me help.

Yeah.

Well, we know we work well together.

So, just, uh, let me know what I need to do.

GAEL: Yeah.

(NOISY CHATTERING)

- Hey.

- Yo, you came!

Where's your partner?

Joey.

They had to work.

I got a spot.

I'm going up tonight.

Yes!

Oh, my gosh.

It's, like, crazy hard to go up at this club, especially if you're new.

So, who did you sleep with this time?

Okay, hunty.

- I only did that once by the way.

- (CHUCKLES)

- AVERY: You be judging.

- SYDNEY: I do be judging.

- Wait, is that Lindsay Brady?

- AVERY: Where?

Oh, my God!

What is she doing here?

"They", they just changed their pronoun.

There's a lot of that going around.

Which I fully support.

It's just tough to remember.

Life is so hard as a white woman.

(SCOFFS)

Maybe they're workshopping some new material.

Well, I'm, like, their number one stan.

I've been trying forever to get them to follow me back on Insta.

Oh, my God, not happening.

They're very stingy with their follows.

Maybe if they hang out after, we can meet them?

- I mean - Shh, shh.

Be cool.

- Wow.

- Let's get a good seat.

GAEL: So, you want to feather the paint on, just like this.

Perfect.

How's it going with Elijah?

What do you mean?

I mean, you're seeing him again, aren't you?

So, this is my assistant Naveen, and this is Gael.

- Hey.

- GAEL: What's up, dude?

NAVEEN: All right.

ELIJAH: So, the sewing tables will be in the back.

And out here, we'll have our new collection on display, along with a small boutique.

- It's a great space.

- (CHUCKLES)

ELIJAH: What What?

What is this?

This is just a thank-you for Jazmin's dress.

(SIGHS)

- You framed this?

- Uh yeah.

- Y-you're welcome?

- It's just A great review that you should be proud of and hang it up in here.

Thank you.

Look at you all low-key, humble.

It's not that big of a deal.

(SCOFFS)

If I got a review like that, it would be a hell of a big deal for me.

I hope you're not still stressing about that Times review.

Oh, you read that, huh?

It's bullshit.

Don't take it to heart.

Uh, so, lunch?

You want to get lunch?

A guy's got to eat.

You could eat without me.

I could also do this without you.

But it wouldn't be as fun.

We're hanging out.

How are you and Jamie?

So, I know this isn't exactly your scene.

No, country club cocktail parties are my favorite.

- Just don't leave me alone with the wives.

- (LAUGHS)

How white is your firm?

- They're working on that.

- Mm.

And conservative?

Aah, don't worry.

They're not all Trump supporters.

Well, as long as you're not a registered Republican.

- Are you?

- GARRETT: Hey!

There he is!

Hey!

And who is this lovely lady?

This is my girlfriend, Callie.

This is Garrett, my boss.

Hi!

Lovely to meet you.

The pleasure is mine.

She's a beauty.

Yeah, she's a lawyer as well.

Re-really?

Uh, where do you work?

Legal Aid.

Oh.

Good for you.

I want you to meet my wife.

Uh, Cynthia, you remember Jamie?

- Of course.

- It's good to see you again.

And, hon, this is Jamie's girlfriend, Callie.

Will you introduce her to the other ladies, while I steal him to meet the New York partners?

CYNTHIA: Mm-hmm.

Ugh, these things are boring as hell.

Let's get you a drink.

- Yes.

- (CHUCKLES)

Oh, It's beautiful.

Oh, it's just lovely.

It's such a great day.

Is champagne okay?

- Yes, thank you.

- Great - Thank you.

- HEATHER: Oh, I know.

It's a nightmare, we did all our bathrooms.

But once it's done, we'll be so happy.

CYNTHIA: Ladies, this is Callie.

She's young Jamie's date.

Oh, we love young Jamie.

Old Jamie, not so much.

I didn't know there was an old Jamie.

- He's a close talker.

- Like Joe Biden.

(LAUGHTER)

So, Callie, what do you do?

I'm a lawyer.

- Oh.

- Oh, Heather and I went to law school.

It's where I met my husband.

Oh, where do you work?

Oh, I haven't for years.

Oh, and I never did.

Love law school, hate the law.

Well, it's hard to work when you have kids.

Personally, I love being a stay-at-home mom.

It's really the best decision I ever made.

LAUREN: Especially with a full-time nanny.

(WOMEN LAUGHING)

(CONVERSATION CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

MARCUS: Callie?

I heard you called in sick.

I guess you must be feeling better.

LINDSAY: So I'm from Arizona.

Yeah, no, I it's not a choice.

- I was born this way.

- (LAUGHTER)

It's a tough place to be from.

You know, it took us ten years to recognize the MLK Holiday.

(LAUGHTER)

For sure.

You know what they say about Arizona, it's a dry hate.

(LAUGHTER)

I mean, we've got the Grand Canyon.

You know?

Got that going for us.

I made it.

It was all me.

Just me, Phillips-head screwdriver, and a ton of angst.

- (LAUGHTER)

- I spent a lot of time on that.

ALICE: You're so genius!

So smart.

I like to think so.

Uh, let's see.

So, Facebook has been bleeding users.

Like, 15 million people have left the website.

I mean, I finally cut the cord.

(CHEERS)

Yes, I'm a true hero.

Absolutely.

Being on Facebook these days is like going to an abandoned mall.

- It's a retail apocalypse, you know.

- (LAUGHTER)

You're wandering around and there's that chick from high school trying to sell you a candle.

ALICE: Candles.

Like lavender!

I mean, your parents are there.

You know, that whole thing.

ALICE: So true!

Mom and Dad are always liking your photos.

- LINDSAY: You

- (AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)

You know, I can hear you, right?

Like, this isn't a TV show.

Like, I'm actually here.

Did your mom not teach you how to use your inside voice?

- AUDIENCE: Oh!

- ALICE: No.

I mean, we kind of had a language barrier.

- So, you know,

- (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

I'm Chinese.

All right.

Could we get a light on this individual?

What's happening over here?

LINDSAY: Oh, my God.

You talk more than my Coche driver.

- (LAUGHTER)

- Wait.

are you my Coche driver?

(LAUGHTER)

- This is why I gave this person two stars.

- (AUDIENCE GROANS)

LINDSAY: Oh, my God, look at that leather jacket.

I am sad that a cow had to die for you to look almost all right.

(AUDIENCE GROANS)

You are literally why I'm vegan.

I would rather eat a cashew cheese quesadilla than look at that jacket.

It's terrible.

Is that jacket made out of nut cheese.

You know.

Has that kind of a sheen to it.

Did the '80s call you on a landline and ask for Andrew Dice Clay's whole thing back?

Did the '90s follow up with a fax and ask for George Michael's entire thing back?

So, there is this blogger who I guess a lot of people follow, and he did a great piece on Elijah, and he sent the guy a link to my Insta and I guess now he wants to interview me and see my work in person.

That's great.

I don't think I'm going to do it.

No, you can't let one bad review shut you down.

I'm just not confident in the work that I have, and I wish I could have shown him the the piece that I sold.

You sure it looks good there?

Yeah, it looks great.

Well, you could always make another piece like it, as part of a series.

Yeah.

Bottom line, you can't let what anyone thinks of you mess with your head.

All that matters is what you think of yourself and your work.

The only way the world will believe in you is if you believe in yourself.

I wasn't feeling well, but I had forgotten I had promised my boyfriend I'd come to this work thing,

- so I rallied.

- Thank you.

Well, I would love to meet him.

Which one is he?

Uh, he's over there in the blue suit.

That white guy in the blue suit or one of the other five white guys in blue suits?

Look, I know you think I'm entitled, but this is not my world.

Well, you blend in pretty well.

- GARRETT: Marcus!

- Hey.

Ah, I see you've met, uh - Callie.

- Right.

She's also a lawyer with Legal Aid.

Do you two know each other?

- Yes, we do.

- GARRETT: Ah!

Callie, I apologize for doing this to you again, but I need to steal Marcus.

There are some people he needs to meet.

Will you excuse us?

SAM: We got you a welcome back gift.

They're for ball-busting stress relief.

(ALEX CHUCKLES)

Well, uh, we just figured, since Mariana cut off yours.

(SAM CHUCKLES)

You, you squish them when you're stressed.

Just give them, uh, give them a fondle.

- Pluck the hairs out

- I get it!

So, do we want to list the grievance committee suggestions based on importance?

Aren't they all important?

Well, I think a salary laddering plan is a little more important than free tampons in the women's room?

That depends how heavy your flow is.

(CHUCKLES)

Hey!

How's Raj doing now that he's back on the Blue Team?

Um, I'm pretty sure he's miserable, but he wouldn't tell me, just because it would make me feel worse than I already do.

And 'cause he's that great.

- Aw.

- I need a Raj.

- Right?

- Well, I need a raise.

So, let's get back to it.

(CELL PHONES CHIMING)

("CRIMINAL" BY 3 ONE OH PLAYING)

What?

I was born bad in my blood What?

Black as night Uh, guys, you're gonna want to look at your phones.

Out of the dark I'll steal your heart Light up a match and I'll never look back Oh oh oh oh oh

(ALEX LAUGHS)

Oh, I knew it!

All that feminist BS, and she is just honeypotting her way up the ladder.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, I bet she gives great Act-ivism with that big mouth of hers.

Lock me up throw away the key Don't fight!

Ain't nobody as dangerous as me Dude, my Legos.

Come on.

Whoa oh oh I'm a criminal Stop.

Okay, look, I ran into Evan in the elevator after work, and he asked me to grab a drink with him to talk about my app, and that's it!

I wanted to talk to you about dating.

You want to talk about dating?

Yes.

Uh, what do you think about it?

You don't even need to explain yourselves.

Why can't a woman just have a drink with her boss without everyone jumping to conclusions?

U-us dating?

Oh, no.

Not us dating.

Uh, dating, in general.

Well, have you ever tried a dating app?

I'm not very sure how to describe myself.

What do you think if I help you set up your profile?

- You'd do that?

- Yeah, of course.

Because we have to be above reproach to be taken seriously.

That's totally sexist.

If Evan had a drink with a guy from work, no one would care.

My whole life I've had trouble connecting with people.

When I was a kid, they called it Asperger's, but now they just say I'm on the spectrum.

I don't always pick up social cues or humor, why people like to talk on the phone things of that nature.

I'm not even sure there's someone out there for me.

No, of course there's someone out there for you.

Which begs the big question: who did care enough to send the photo to everyone?

Everyone?

They sent it on the company Slack.

Where's Raj?

W-well, after we broke up the fight, and by we, I mean other people, and by other people, I mean Evan, um, they, they took Alex and Raj to the,

- to the office.

- Fight?

It's completely unacceptable to have people coming to blows at work.

Who started it?

Uh, we both started it.

- Over what?

- Politics.

We should have never gotten into a discussion on how to make America great again.

Uh, I'll tell you my pitch: flash mobs.

Well, if we can agree to disagree, why don't you two take the rest of the day off to cool down.

(EVAN CLEARS THROAT)

Really, Evan?

No consequences?

They're two of our best engineers.

Fine.

Your decision.

But what about this photo of you and Mariana?

Just two coworkers having a drink after work.

It's not two coworkers.

You are her boss and the CEO of this company, and we cannot afford to have another Amanda situat Angela, I'm well aware of my position at my company!

And I do not want another Amanda situation either.

I was so humiliated.

I mean, I didn't even pay my tab.

I've never dined and dashed in my life.

I mean, I left my credit card there, so hopefully I won't get in trouble.

Crap, that means I have to go back and get it.

You know what?

Just forget it.

I'm just going to cancel it and order a new one.

Okay, listen, I'm sorry Lindsay dragged you like that.

Honestly, I'm not surprised.

They're not a nice person.

Do you know them?

Yeah, we have history.

Not like that.

I dated their ex who I really liked, and as soon as Lindsay found out she was happy with someone else, they wanted her back.

So Jenny broke up with me to get back with Lindsay.

And after a couple weeks, Lindsay got bored and dumped her, again.

Did Jenny try to get back with you?

Yeah, but once the trust is broken, there's no going back for me.

Lindsay has broken up a bunch of relationships just to get whatever "it" girl they happen to want at the moment.

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry.

Yeah, it sucked, but I'm over it.

Well, I'm ruined.

I can't show my face at any comedy club ever again.

How can you be ruined?

You haven't even gotten up on stage.

And who knows if I ever will.

Apparently, it's really hard to get a spot when you're new and you don't know anyone.

Well, that's why you have to go back and make connections.

Don't let some mean girl get in your way.

- Mean person.

- Oh, sorry.

Right.

Yeah, you're right.

Move out the way, toe rag!

Skrt-skrt!

Toe rag?

It's really hard to come up with gender-neutral disses.

- Is it too much?

- I Hey!

- Can we talk?

- Here?


I guess you're not worried people might think you're sleeping with me anymore.

- Please, I can explain.

- I'm sure you can.

You're the best con artist I know.

Um, excuse me!

Can I have everyone's attention?

Which I obviously already do.

Not that it's anyone's business, but I am not seeing Evan.

- I'm seeing Raj.

- MAN: I knew it!

MAN 2: Yeah, yeah, I knew it.

In fact, he's my boyfriend.

So, if you want to talk about something, talk about that!

CALLIE: Maybe I should just give up the law, try and be an artist again.

Do you ever regret giving up art for law?

CALLIE: I regret a lot of things.

(CHUCKLES)

My boyfriend said I was a lawyer, and his boss asked where I worked so I told him, but I never said I was a lawyer practicing law at Legal Aid.

You don't have to explain yourself to me.

Really?

Because you seem to make a lot of assumptions about me.

Actually, why are you here?

Are you looking for a new job in an elite firm?

I am here to pick the pockets of a rich law firm.

Get them to atone for the sins of their corporate clients by doing pro bono work on behalf of some of ours.

Well, maybe I could help with that?

Raising money for Legal Aid is not your job, but I would still like to meet your boyfriend.

So you can judge him too?

Look, I know I made a mistake writing that demand letter, and I have apologized but I have a hard time believing that that's all you have against me.

What I think about you doesn't matter.

The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself.

That you know who you are.

I learned the hard way.

If you want the world to believe in you, you have to believe in yourself.

The only way the world's going to believe in you is if you believe in yourself.

I'll see you on Monday.

And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about running into you today.

I told you I know where Angela keeps her medicine.

Well, we could have met at a bar.

Yeah, why pay when we can drink here for free?

Why didn't you tell Angela I threw the first punch?

'Cause we used to be best friends.

Until Mariana showed up and you chose her.

I chose not to be a massive asshole.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

Whatev.

The team isn't the same without you.

You have Sam.

Sam is an idiot.

(CHUCKLES)

He's a decent third, but he's not Spock material.

Alex, you being Kirk is wildly presumptuous, all right?

The Federation wouldn't pick someone without a logical All right

(SIGHS)

All right, you know what?

I can't be your Spock, anyway, if you continue to be a racist, sexist dick.

Oh, my God, they're just jokes.

Jokes hurt.

Well, you know what hurts?

My jaw, where you punched me.

(CELL PHONES BUZZING)

So, are you, like, in love with her?

Look, I get it.

She's hot, and she told everyone you're her boyfriend.

That's, that's Woo!

That is extremely brave for anyone to admit.

See?

Jokes.

(SIGHS)

You really don't think I'm Kirk material?

- Okay.

So

- (CLEARS THROAT)

First question: What is your idea of a romantic date?

Romantic date?

In movies, women enjoy walking on the sand.

Okay, walks on the beach.

Would you mind not telling anyone that you're helping me do this?

Yeah, of course.

(LAUGHS)

I thought that was you two.

Who all here has Josh tried to kiss?

I-I just wanted to say hello.

This is a smear campaign.

- (CLEARS THROAT)

- Hello.

How are you, Josh?

Great.

Great!

I got another job at a different startup.

Better pay.

Better hours.

Less, um, (CHUCKLES)

less headaches.

Yeah, but hey, you know, I wish Speckulate all the luck in the world.

No hard feelings.

No hard feelings.

Okay.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, see you around.

That was sus.

Suspect.

Ah.

Why do you say that?

Well, you fired him.

You really don't think he's holding a grudge?

Oh.

That is sus.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(LAUGHTER ECHOING)

- (CHEERING)

- Did the '90s follow up with a fax and ask for George Michael's entire thing back?

Oh, it's you.

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

Look, I'm sorry I tore into you last night, but, you know, even a happy heckler can mess up a comedian's set.

It's all about timing.

Right.

I, I totally understand.

Uh, my bad.

But you are funny.

- I am?

- Yeah.

Hey, Alice, Lindsay's here.

SYDNEY: They're here.

They're uh, here.

- Hey.

- LINDSAY: Hey.

I was just telling your friend she's funny.

- ALICE: Yeah.

- AVERY: Oh, yeah.

She's a stand-up.

- So are, so are we.

- Oh.

I haven't technically stood up, yet.

Well, she does hilarious bits on Insta, though.

- You should check her out.

- All right.

Hey, do you think that we could get a picture?

- Sure.

- (NERVOUS CHUCKLES)

Let's do this.

- Ooh!

Uh!

- Hey, can you take a picture of us?

- Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

- Love it.

- Okay, guys.

- (SHUTTER CLICKS)

WOMAN: Smile.

Okay, so don't screw up my set tonight.

I won't.

Thanks!

- Bye!

- She won't!

Lindsay Brady.

Lindsay Brady!

That was Lindsay Brady!

Oh, my gosh, look!

Oh, my gosh, I look good.

Hey.

Hey.

So, I did the interview.

How'd it go?

I don't know.

I haven't looked at it yet.

Can you just tell me if it's good or bad?

'Cause I don't want to look at it.

"Bold AF LA Artist Everyone Will Be Talking About, If They Aren't Already.

" GAEL (LAUGHING)

: Are you kidding me?

"Everything about the work of Gael Martinez shows the promise of an artist ready to break out and shake up the art world.

If you don't know him now, you will.

" (EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY)

(LAUGHS)

Oh, my God.

We have to celebrate!

With everyone.

- (CELL PHONE BUZZING)

- Oh, give me a second.

- Hey.

- ELIJAH: (OVER PHONE)

Did you see it?

- GAEL: (OVER PHONE)

I did.

- ELIJAH: I told you!

I can't believe it!

I really can't.

- I can.

- Thank you.

This is because of you.

Oh, all I did was turn them on to a talented artist.

You did everything else.

But look, I'm taking you out to celebrate.

So, uh, get ready and meet me at Perch in 20 minutes.

Hey, so Elijah wanted to Yeah, no, you should go celebrate with him.

Have fun!

You wanna pick this up tomorrow night?

Sure.

All right.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

(SHRIEKS)

I have got those fabric swatches for you.

Dope.

Just, uh, leave 'em on my desk.

I'll get to 'em tomorrow.

- Wait, did you frame that?

- (ELIJAH CHUCKLES)

Gael did, as a thank you for Jazmin's dress.

Okay, but does he know that you paid for that review?

No, and he's not going to because I paid for his, too.

Oh, how much did that cost you?

You have got it bad for that boy.

Look, it wasn't about publicity for him, he just needed a confidence boost.

(NAVEEN CHUCKLES)

And, uh, seriously, he can never know.

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

Washed up in places I never gave permission.

But I'll tell you one thing, I've never been more radiant.

- So I'm from Arizona.

- (CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

Okay, take it easy.

It's not a choice, I was born this way.

It's a tough place to be from, took us ten years

- Hey.

- to recognize MLK Day.

Oh.

(CHUCKLES)

Is that Lindsay's Insta?

Um, yeah.

They followed me.

Oh.

And they liked one of my videos!

The one where I'm the old lady who's pissed at the bidet.

(CHUCKLES)

- That's great.

- Yeah, it is.

Um, it's a major promotion, you know.

Okay.

Okay?

What does that mean?

It means, they totally humiliated you, in front of everyone at their show last night.

And now, because they're following you, suddenly all is forgiven?

They actually apologized.

They were there again tonight, and we ran into each other in the restroom, and at first, they were like, "It's you!

" I was like, "Oh, sh1t!

" (CHUCKLES)

But then, they were really nice, and they actually said I was funny.

And did you happen to mention your partner, who they totally burned?

No.

(CHUCKLES)

That didn't come up.

Look, it's not like we're BFFs.

They just liked one of my videos, and this could be really good exposure for me in the comedy world.

You're the one who told me to go back out there and make connections.

Lindsay Brady is a huge connection.

I know that.

I just don't trust them and I want you to be careful.

I will.

This is a big deal.

Well, they think you're funny, so at least they have good taste.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

MARIANA: I guess I should have just told him that I was having drinks with Evan in the first place, but he's already so jealous of him as it is.

Are you going to keep helping Evan with his dating profile?

I guess.

He was so cute, and I feel bad for him.

Why don't you just tell Raj that that's what it was all about.

I said I wouldn't tell anyone.

Yeah, but he's your boyfriend, and you have to be honest with him.

Right.

(SIGHS)

How's your boyfriend?

Divestments, selling off underperforming units, layoffs, some tax shelter work.

CYNTHIA: We had to get our son a tutor for the ISEEs.

Oh, us too.

Dylan wants to go to Harvard-Westlake.

CALLIE: What kind of law do you practice?

MAN: I mostly fight government regulation of antitrust or anticompetitive practices of the corporations we represent.

- Uh, what's the ISEEs?

- Independent School Entrance Exams.

It's worse than the SATs.

Yeah, but you don't want to send your kids to public school.

We went with Duchateau floors which our interior designer insisted on, but her installer glued them down instead of nailing, and now they're buckling.

Oh, no.

Yes!

(SIGHS)

Luckily, we're going to Napa for two weeks while they rip them out, but it is still a nightmare.

CYNTHIA: Napa is beautiful this time of year.

Oh, I know.

You know, I thought I was busy when I was working, but this remodel has been so stressful.

I really need a vacation.

(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

JAMIE: Callie?

There you are.

Everything okay?

No.

No, I'm scared.

I'm never going to fit into your world, and I don't want to.

I don't want to quit my career to raise our kids and remodel our home.

I can't be the wife you need to succeed in all of this.

I love you but I don't think we want the same things.

There you are.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

I was just taking a break.

Uh, we can get out of here if you're ready?

- Sure, if you are.

- Mm-hmm.

You never answered my question.

I am a registered Republican, but I didn't vote for the current president.

We're fine.

(DOOR OPENS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

It's like deja vu all over again.

He really needs to invest in some serious curtains.

I think he's really into this one.

Well, I'm not sticking around for the show this time.

Mariana?

All right, coming.