03x04 - You Can't Touch This

Previously on Charmed...

MACY: The leaves from the tree, they're dying.

GUARDIAN: My fate is tied to that of the tree, as is every magical being in this world.

I'm afraid not even the Charmed Ones can survive the death of all magic.

So we're doomed, then?

To restore life to the magical world requires the greatest sacrifice.

MACY: One of us has to die.

I'm the eldest.

The universe can't be this cruel.

I wanted to take you to Paris.

MAGGIE: Jordan,

your friendship has meant more to me than you will ever know.

Hey.

MACY: We need to infuse the power of the Source into the tree.

[GASPING, YELLING]

[RUMBLING, CRACKLING, WHOOSHING]

MEL: We did it.

[YELLING]

[GASPING]

What the hell just happened?

[LIVELY POP INTRO PLAYING]

♪ ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ One, two, three, and ♪

♪ Ba-da, da-da, da-da-da ♪

♪ Ba-da-da, da-dum ♪

- _ - ♪ Ba-da, da-da, da-da-da ♪

♪ Ba-da-da, da-dum ♪

- ♪ Make a good day ♪

- Incoming!

- ♪ We're up and running... ♪

- Outgoing.

- We leave in .

- MACY: Oh, yeah.

Five, four, three, two...

Morning.

- Thanks.

Mags out yet?

- Few minutes behind.

She's got to be more precise.

I can't get up there...

Until she's down here.

I know.

I know.

Any word from Harry?

Not yet.

Soon, though.

[WHOOSHING]

♪ Whoo... ♪

[GRUNTS]

Sorry.

Ready?

I am now.

Good luck today.

Thank you.

I don't know why, but I just feel like today is going to be a really...

Really good day.

♪ Ba-da, da-da... ♪

- Found it!

- Harry, no!

[GASPING]

Oh.

[PANTING]

[HISSING INHALE]

- [EXHALES]

- [SIGHS]

Now, Macy, I am so sorry.

I know I can't just orb in here anymore.

Our lives have changed, the world has changed, but old habits...

Harry, it's fine.

Really.

We're all still adjusting.

It's just my luck.

I finally get together with the woman of my dreams, only for her to become allergic to me.

And my sisters.

And every other magical being on Earth.

But not for long, if this works.

I can't believe you found this.

A moon poppy?

Do you realize how rare these are?

I do now, after four jungles, three Amazon tributaries and a shocking amount of quicksand.

Which is real, it turns out.

Who knew?

Now, are you sure this one is the one?

Tenth time's the charm, Harry.

I can feel it.

Witches have been using this for centuries to purify magical blood.

It's exactly what we need.

It'll take a few hours to brew a cure, and then you and I can finally...

Touch.

Why don't you go clean up?

Put on something that's easy to rip off.

'Cause you and I are gonna get all kinds of weird tonight, Harry Greenwood.

["CHOCOLATE SAMURAI" BY FANTASTIC NEGRITO PLAYING]

♪ Got to! ♪

♪ Have you lost your mind yet? ♪

♪ To get free tonight ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

MAGGIE: Has your rash faded yet?

- Almost.

- Here I was, thinking our lives could go back to normal now that the Faction's gone, but nope.

Hey, at least the house is uncloaked, we're back at school, and we get to be the Veras again.

Sure.

Very strange Veras.

Mel, hold up.

Please tell me you're not avoiding him.

Of course I'm avoiding him.

Maggie, you still haven't told him how you feel?

Why would I bother?

Last time we saw each other, we got close to... getting close, and I got zapped across the room.

It's bad enough I can't get near magical creatures, but apparently I can't get near humans who have been cursed by magic either.

Tell me about it.

I am having a long-distance relationship with Ruby from five feet away.

[GROANS]

This is why I am choosing to focus on personal growth this year.

Screw relationships.

This is the Year of Me, and priority number one is winning over Dr.

Lawrence today.

He's finally back from his book tour?

And he's taking on one student as a research intern.

- Wow, that'd be huge.

- Yeah, it's basically the most coveted role in the whole psych department.

You got this, Maggie.

You're gonna go in there and be your brilliant self, and that internship is yours.

Come on.

Let's go slay the day.

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Y'all better be ready ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Power ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Nobody remember they gonna come ♪

♪ Yeah. ♪

[QUIETLY]: Okay.

[EXHALES]

Dr.

Lawrence?

Oh, fantastic!

You're early.

Could you grab me a coffee before we start?

- Sorry?

- Milk.

Two sugars.

Oh.

Oh, no, no, I'm...

I'm not your new assistant, if that's what you mean.

Then who are you?

Uh, I'm Maggie Vera.

I'm actually taking your class this semester.

Oh.

Oh, apologies, kiddo.

They said they were sending her down.

Right.

No, no worries.

I, uh, I actually read your new book, um, on sensation and perception.

Twice.

Your meditation on the parallels...

Is that an Andover man?

Ha-ha!

- Class of ' .

- Get out of here.

- Yeah.

- .

Soccer player.

And lacrosse.

Coach Vazzana still there?

[CHUCKLES]: Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he would counsel me whenever I got cat-boned on campus.

[LAUGHS LOUDLY]

Cat-boned!

I remember that.

- [LAUGHS]

- What's your name, son?

Antonio.

MEL: Marginalization.

It comes in so many forms.

How do we call it out when it becomes so commonplace, so constant that even we stop noticing?

How do we dismantle structural inequalities?

In the boardroom.

In the classroom.

In the courtroom.

Oh, Kevin.

Activism.

The status quo only moves off its axis if it's pushed.

Exactly.

Disruption.

Protest.

But...

Challenging the status quo doesn't come without consequences.

Countless people have died fighting for their rights.

Their right to vote.

Their right to be free.

Their right to love.

Their right to exist.

Change...

Doesn't come without cost.

The question is, how much are you all willing to lose in order to win the fight?

[QUIETLY]: Right on, girlfriend.

Do you have anything to add, Dylan, Trey?

No.

We're good.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Thanks.

Hey.

Kevin.

What was that before?

Oh, just the usual transphobic crap.

- [CHUCKLES]

- What's going on?

Oh, they, uh...

Put a bra in my bed this morning.

"It's just a practical joke, bro."

[SIGHS]

That's horrible.

It's just what dudes do to bond, or whatever.

[CHUCKLES]

I have dealt with worse.

You shouldn't have to.

You can file a complaint.

[LAUGHS]: A complaint?

Against a scholarship athlete?

Yeah.

No.

It's all right, though.

I just have to make it through this year, and then I can find a new roommate.

I'm sorry, he's your roommate?

Have you tried to switch dorms?

Eh, look, they're just a couple of ignorant dumbasses.

I can handle that, Mel.

I...

I spend every day fighting, so...

I just want to...

Live my life.

[CHUCKLES]

Wait.

Um, what if we can make them a little less ignorant?

There's this incredible book by a trans woman named Maya Guzman.

Overcoming the Boundaries of Gender?

You've read it.

Uh, three times.

[LAUGHS]

Saved my life.

Well, I hope you're ready to read it again.

'Cause I'm gonna go talk to the dean and see if we can add it to the syllabus.

♪ ♪

♪ Yoo-hoo! ♪

♪ I sparkle in these streets, necks twist ♪

♪ Every time you see me ♪

♪ Goin' all day, I repeat my sheen ♪

♪ You know I bring the heat, rockin' Davenport jeans... ♪

Yo, stranger.

Jordan.

Good to see you.

You're looking awfully dapper.

Law firm clerkship required wardrobe upgrade.

Ah, yes.

Dress to impress, as they say.

So, where you been hiding?

Oh, I was, uh...

[QUIETLY]: I was on another mission.

Searching for yet another elusive ingredient.

Still no cure for what ails the Charmed Ones, huh?

No.

No.

But hope abounds.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Well, hey, Macy's a brilliant scientist and...

[QUIETLY]: talented witch.

She'll figure this out.

Speaking of, I need to get a certain witch some caffeine, stat.

Hey, Harry?

Say hi to Maggie for me, okay?

[CHUCKLES]

I will.

♪ Like it or not, I'm magic ♪

♪ I'm magic, I'm magical ♪

♪ When you see me, I'm wild, I'm wild ♪

♪ Wild and wonderful ♪

♪ I'm magic, I'm magic, I'm magical ♪

♪ When you see me, I'm wild, I'm wild ♪

♪ Wild and wonderful ♪

♪ I'm magic, I'm magic, I'm magical... ♪

Any luck?

Oh!

Over there, thanks.

- Don't get too...

- Too close, I know.

Infectum revela.

HARRY: Well, that's a new trick.

Is that the three of you?

MACY: Mm-hmm.

Somehow...

Combining the Source and the tree sent a pulse through our bodies.

And-and like a nuclear blast, it left behind trace elements in our blood.

Whatever this energy is we're emitting, it's giving off a signal.

And I think that might be what's causing the pain and the hives every time we get too close... too quickly.

Which is why we have to move towards each other slowly and never get too close.

Yeah.

But if I am right...

And this blood cleanse works, it'll fix all of that.

[QUIET LAUGH]

What?

Well, I love seeing you excited again...

About science.

I'm excited about a lot of things, Harry.

If this works, we are taking that trip to Paris.

Drinking champagne.

Holding hands by the Seine under moonlight.

Just us.

No demons, no potions.

No clothes.

[LAUGHS]

To Paris.

Yeah, I'll clink to that.

Anything?

Let's find out.

[GRUNTING]

[SIGHS]

Hey!

How'd it...

... go?

[FAINT OVERLAPPING WHISPERS]

[OVERLAPPING WHISPERS]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[OVERLAPPING WHISPERS]

[SHOUTS]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[SHOVEL DIGGING]

Morning.

You look like I feel.

I'm guessing that's not a compliment?

I did not sleep well.

Yeah, me neither.

Dr. Lawrence thought I was his new assistant yesterday.

What?

Yeah, and then he called me "kiddo." You need to tell him that you're not okay with that.

[SCOFFS]

That's not how it works, Mel.

Says who?

Says society.

You don't school your professor on day one.

Instead, I'll silence him with my excellence.

I have read, color-coded and highlighted this text backwards and forwards, so...

Antonio and his soccer ball can stuff it.

Antonio?

My new nemesis.

Oh.

You missed some mud mask.

What mud mask?

[MUTTERS]

Huh, that's weird.

[KNOCKING]

- Yeah?

- [DOOR OPENS]

Good morning.

Hey.

Since we can't get to Paris just yet...

...

I thought I'd bring Paris to you.

The croissants are still warm.

C...

Can we not do this right now?

Do what?

Pretend like everything doesn't feel hopeless.

- Oh, Macy...

- Stop!

Yeah, sorry.

Sorry.

I mean, what if we can't fix this?

What if we have to spend the rest of our lives like this?

Distant, sexless, held hostage by a magical menace we cannot understand.

Okay.

Let's go understand it.

How?

- We tried everything already.

- No.

Not everything.

LAWRENCE: Intimacy....

The glue that holds together all human relationships.

But it is important to remember that intimacy extends well beyond the physical.

What other types of intimacy are there?

Ms.

Vera?

Um, well, there's emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, spiritual intimacy.

But can a long-term relationship survive without the physical?

I-I guess what I mean is...

Is emotional intimacy enough, or do we...

Just need more?

Oh, hell yeah, we do.

[LAUGHTER]

LAWRENCE: Ms. Vera?

Um...

The question I'm posing is...

Freud said that the pleasure that an infant gets from physical touch is a precursor to our needs in adult relationships.

Yeah, well, Freud was a coke addict who changed his mind every few pages.

[LAUGHTER]

The point I'm trying to make is...

Is that humans don't need s*x?

Pass.

Can I please finish my damn sentence?

Young lady, there's no need to be rude.

I'm rude?

I'm being rude?

[HEART BEATING]

Uh...

[CHUCKLES, PANTING]

LAWRENCE [DISTORTED]: Ms. Vera, remember this is

an institution of higher learning.

And we must show respect for our fellow students.

Now, would you like to continue, Ms. Vera?

Ms. Vera?

I have to...

Sorry, I...

I just have to go.

Maya Guzman really breaks down the transgender experience in such a meaningful way.

I really think it can open up their hearts and minds.

Mel, I so appreciate your passion.

Your ability to connect with your students, to really see them, it's inspiring.

Thank you, Dean Eldon.

Rebecca.

But, unfortunately, the syllabus has been pre-approved by the department.

Every text is vetted.

So adding a new book once the curriculum has been set, well, it just doesn't work like that.

Oh.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, but you could always petition for next year.

You have a bright future ahead of you, Mel.

I know a tenure-track professor when I see one.

So just stay the course, and if there's ever anything else that I can help you with, you know where to find me.

[QUIETLY]: Okay.

Um, actually, Rebecca...

There is something that you can help me with.

[PANTING]

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Breathe in through your nose.

One, two...

Three... and out through the mouth.

One, two, three... again.

One, two, three.

And out through the mouth.

One, two, three.

[TAKING DEEP BREATHS]

[HARRY SIGHS]

MACY: Hope you're right about this.

Trust me.

The revelation spell told us exactly what was behind Jordan's curse.

Maybe it can tell us what's behind this allergy.

Well, we already know what caused it.

The Source combining with the tree.

Well, perhaps, or perhaps there was more to what happened that day than meets the eye.

Get ready to translate the symbols, then.

Right.

Ready?

Ostende verum tuum.

Again.

Ostende verum tuum.

I knew this was pointless.

No, Macy, We'll find another spell.

It's not about the spell, Harry.

I feel robbed, not knowing what it's like to love you fully, and I'm afraid I'll never get that chance.

[EXHALES] Macy.

I'm sorry, I...

[EXHALES]

I just need to be alone.

[SIGHS]

Damn it.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[CRACKLING]

[EXCLAIMS]

[EXHALES]

[STONE SCRAPING]

[BLOWS]

♪♪

[DOOR OPENS]

[RHYTHMIC THUDDING]

♪ ♪

- [MUTTERING]

- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[YAWNS]

Huh.

[EXHALES]

Morning, Harry.

Didn't you have class this morning?

Yeah, I...

I guess I slept through my alarm.

Way through my alarm.

What's that?

Well, it's either the answer to all our problems or just a very old rock.

When Macy and I did a revelation spell on her allergy, it led us straight to this.

But I've never seen any of these symbols before.

Have you?

Uh, no.

Hey, where is Mace, by the way?

She...

Needed a bit of space.

Everything okay between you two?

Yeah, the past few months have been...

Y-Yeah.

I know.

Hey, Harry?

Mm-hmm?

I may not be ancient symbol girl, but I did just take a class on intimacy.

And sometimes when the physical side of a relationship isn't there, the emotional can slip away, too.

And that's-that's what really counts.

That's what's worth fighting for.

You really are gonna make a very fine therapist one day, Maggie.

Ell, I'm glad somebody thinks so.

["CHAINS" BY JORDAN MAX PLAYING]

- KEVIN: Hey, Mel.

- Hey.

I just got your e-mail about the book.

Kevin, I'm so sorry.

I tried, but colleges are still political.

It'll have to wait till next year.

No worries.

I really appreciate that you cared enough to try.

But I did manage to accomplish something else.

Oh, you mean the private dorm room that the dean just offered me, with my own bathroom?

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, I kind of figured you had something to do with that.

So when are you moving in?

I'm not.

Kevin, that guy has been terrible to you.

My entire life, I've fought to be seen.

If I let some insecure jock just shame me into the shadows, then what have I been fighting for?

Dylan's just gonna have to sit in his discomfort, 'cause I'm not going anywhere.

What about your discomfort?

Forcing him to see me and get to know me, that's my protest.


Anyway, I'll see you in class, Mel.

♪ Down, down, down, down ♪

♪ From memories, they stay locked in my brain waves ♪

♪ I grow more power from Pokémon cards ♪

♪ And spinnin' my Beyblades ♪

♪ Stuck in a replay, and I'm feeling the same way ♪

♪ Growing apart from people is hard ♪

♪ We love them to hate them ♪

♪ Fame or fortune ♪

♪ Promise me the moon and take my world away ♪

[PHONE VIBRATES]

♪ They don't want you ♪

♪ Cut me loose, release me, I'm not here to stay ♪

- _

- ♪ These chains won't hold me down ♪

[SIGHS]

[DISTORTED]: ♪ These chains ♪

♪ Won't hold me down.

_ Macy?

Macy?

[GASPS]

What the hell are you doing?

What the hell are you doing?

It's the middle of the night.

I haven't been sleeping well.

All these weird dreams keeping me up.

Yeah, me, too.

I keep seeing myself digging.

- Digging?

- Yeah.

- In a... cemetery?

- Cemetery.

And then I'm bringing bags of bones back to the...

Command center.

Uh-huh.

Mel, I think we're having the same dream.

Unless it's not a dream?

Has anyone seen Macy?

She's not in her bedroom?

Then we should go check the command center.

What?

Why would she be there in the middle of the night?

We think something's been possessing us, causing us to do things.

So, if Macy's not here, then that means...

Dang it!

I can't wait till he can orb us all together again.

MACY [ECHOING]: Egar-zu-e umun

giri-ta Ki-bi ha-ra-ab-gi-gi.

Mê es-e im-hul ha-mu-ses.

Egar-zu-e umun giri-ta Ki-bi...

... ki-bi ha-ra-ab-gi-gi. Mê es-e im-hul ha-mu-ses.

Egar-zu-e umun

giri-ta Ki-bi ha-ra-ab-gi-gi.

Mê es-e im-hul ha-mu-ses.

Egar-zu-e umun

giri-ta Ki-bi ha-ra-ab-gi-gi.

Mê es-e im-hul ha-mu-ses.

Egar-zu-e umun

giri-ta Ki-bi ha-ra-ab-gi-gi.

Mê es-e im-hul ha-mu-ses.

Egar-zu-e umun

giri-ta Ki-bi ha-ra-ab-gi-gi.

Mê es-e...

Egar-zu-e...

Ki-bi ha-ra-ab-gi-gi.

- Mê es-e im-hul ha-mu-ses.

- Macy.

- Macy, wake up.

- Egar-zu-e umun

- giri-ta Ki-bi.

- Wake up!

- Egar-zu-e umun.

- Macy!

- Wake up!

- Im-hul ha-mu-ses.

Dear God.

[GROWLING]

- [MEL PANTING]

- MAGGIE: Macy!

Macy!

We're coming!

Macy!

Wh-What happened?

Where's Harry?

I...

I-I don't know.

What?

How'd I get here?

[INHALES SHARPLY]

My hand.

What the hell is going on?

Something has been possessing us at night.

MAGGIE: And whatever it is, I'm pretty sure it just took Harry.

[SIGHS]

Whatever it was, it's long gone.

MAGGIE: Did you see anything before it escaped?

No, I-I don't remember.

I-I just woke up with blood on my hand, and I was...

Next to The Book of Elders.

MAGGIE: "With blood and bone, restore thy form.

"Let the Power of Three anoint this storm." It's some kind of body restoration ritual.

That requires the Charmed Ones.

Infectum revela.

What are you doing?

Our allergy is giving off a signal.

Like an energy pulse.

If this thing did possess our bodies, maybe it got infected, too.

That's the three of us.

And there he is.

Gotcha.

Harry!

Can anybody see him?!

Harry!

[ECHOES]: Harry!

[PANTING]

MACY: Harry, can you hear me?

♪ ♪

Over here!

Oh, my God, no.

[PANTING]

No, no, no, no.

Harry.

- Harry, can you hear me?

- Is he breathing?

I don't know, I can't get close enough to check.

Oh, gosh, he's wounded.

It looks septic.

What do we do?

The moon poppy.

I thought that potion didn't work.

Not on us.

But it is a magical blood cleanse.

If he is contaminated, it should work.

[HOWL IN DISTANCE]

[GASPS]

[LOW GURGLING GROWL]

Go.

Make it pay for what it did.

[RATTLING, CLICKING]

[LOW GROWL]

Did you hear that?

I think it's...

Right behind you.

- Run!

- [SCREAMS]

[ROARS]

♪ ♪

Hang on, Harry.

Hang on.

[GASPING]

[GROWLING]

[GASPS, COUGHING]

Oh, my gosh, Harry.

- [COUGHING]

- Harry...

[COUGHING]

Are you all right?

Oh, bloody hell.

- [LAUGHS]

- [COUGHING]

Where am I?

[GROWLING]

[CLICKING, GROWLING]

[ROARS]

What the hell is that thing?

MAGGIE: Harry, what is it?

I have no idea.

I thought you were an expert in this kind of thing.

I am.

Or at least I thought I was.

Ooh, a little help here!

- It's slipping.

- [GROWLS]

On it.

[EXHALES]

MACY: Thanks.

Now, whatever it is, finish it off.

Happily.

[GROWLS]

[ALL SHRIEK]

Seriously?!

[THRUMMING]

What the hell is that?

[EXHALES]

We thought the revelation spell didn't work when we sought the origin of your allergy.

But it did.

It blew a hole in the command center wall, inside of which...

I found that.

The symbol that monster left behind is on that tablet.

So the allergy is connected to that creature.

So it seems.

The trick is finding a way to translate those symbols.

They're unlike anything I've ever seen: some sort of ancient hieroglyphs.

If I had to guess, maybe , years old.

That's why we've never seen that monster before.

And why I have not been able to find a cure.

Whatever infected us is...

Older than human civilization.

So what the hell are we gonna do?

MACY: We keep going.

Start again tomorrow.

Rome wasn't built in a day, and this rash is a hell of a lot older than Rome.

This?

This right here is progress.

We will figure out what caused this condition, and we will hug again.

Soon.

MACY: So, the monster.

What are we gonna call it?

Tyrannosaurus Hex?

Goo-zilla, maybe?

MAGGIE: Well, you know I love a good pun, but...

I was thinking: Gooey McBad Teeth.

MEL: Interesting choice.

But maybe not evil enough.

What about Chupa-Alma, the Soul-Sucker.

- Love it.

- Sold.

[LOW HISS]

- [LAUGHS]

- [HISSES]

It's ironic, isn't it?

We're so damn powerful in the magical world, we can slay a Chupa-Alma in the blink of an eye, but in the real world, I can't even teach the book I want to teach.

MAGGIE: I can't get a word in edgewise without being spoken over by Antonio.

Antonio?

Her new nemesis.

[SIGHS]

I am so tired of being overlooked in favor of that Sigmund Fraud just because I'm a woman.

Bitch, I am way more than just a cute little thing in a faux-leather skirt.

- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, you are.

Screw the boys' club.

I deserve a shot at that internship.

Hell yeah.

We just overpowered a creature so old it doesn't even have a name.

We can do anything we put our minds to.

Yes, we can.

The system's not gonna change unless we change it.

True dat.

Cheers to that, ladies.

- ♪ Don't lose hope ♪

- [DYLAN AND TREY CHUCKLING]

♪ On your own ♪

Wait, this wasn't on the syllabus.

- ♪ You're not too far ♪

- Yeah, well...

- It is now.

- ♪ From saving ♪

♪ Through the smoke ♪

♪ We won't let go ♪

♪ We'll be the ones ♪

♪ To save you... ♪

I want to suggest a book for next year's syllabus.

And I would like to be considered for the research internship.

You do know it's extremely competitive?

Well, then may the best woman win.

♪ Seems like it's almost over ♪

♪ Just hold on a little more ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ We'll find a way ♪

♪ To get to you, to get to you... ♪

I realized, just because physical intimacy is off the table, doesn't mean the table has to be empty.

♪ To get to you... ♪

Welcome to Paris.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

You didn't have to.

♪ You're not too far... ♪

I'm done dwelling on what we can't have, Harry.

Because what we do have is...

Is pretty magical.

♪ We won't let go... ♪

That it is.

I thought about what you said...

About not being able to feel, about not being able to love fully.

I love you as fully as I know how, Macy, with every bone in my body.

Shall we?

We will work this out...

Together.

♪ We'll find a way ♪

♪ Don't lose hope ♪

♪ On your own ♪

♪ You're not too far ♪

♪ From saving ♪

♪ Through the smoke ♪

♪ We won't let go ♪

♪ We'll be the ones ♪

♪ To save you. ♪

[LOW WHOOSHING]

[INSECTS CHITTERING SOFTLY]

[ROARS]

[CRACKLING, ROARING]