01x07 - The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Pee While Depressed

(MUSIC PLAYS)

ALI: What happens in a month, six months, a year?

When she tells you she just wants to be friends?

Nate, why would I do a single thing for you?

'Cause I'll put you in jail.

I need you to get in your car and drive down to the East Island police station.

You're going to walk up to the receptionist, and you're gonna tell her you'd like to confess to a crime.

OFFICER: Do you recognize that man?

He's the guy who assaulted me the night of the carnival.

Can you please get out of the pool?

JULES: This whole town is so f*cking boring.

RUE: I'm a burden, and it is what it is and it's embarrassing so I'm sorry.

No funny business, Christopher!

(MUSIC CONCLUDES)

f*ck.

("DIDN'T I BLOW YOUR MIND THIS TIME" BY THE DELFONICS PLAYS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

RUE: Cassie's dad was really handsome.

The kind of handsome that made people treat him differently.

I gave my heart and soul to you, girl RUE: Her mom used to get really upset at him for flirting.

PARTY GUESTS: Happy birthday to you RUE: Which wasn't fair.

It wasn't his fault.

He really loved her.

He really loved them all.

you never knew girl, oh Didn't I do it, baby RUE: Her dad always wanted her to become a professional ice skater.

Wow.

Thank you!

Aw, happy birthday, kiddo.

RUE: And for a while, she thought she might.

She was a natural.

It seems to make you laugh Each time I cry RUE: But her dad couldn't afford lessons, so he stopped encouraging her.

When she hit puberty, her mother and her became best friends.

SUZE: You're an angel.

I feel like a big baby.

Cassie, woman to woman, hmm?

You're perfect.

I thought that heart of yours was true, girl Now didn't I think it, baby

- Holy moly, look at you.

- What?

You're gonna be a real heart breaker.

Trust me.

RUE: And it wasn't just her body that changed.

But the rest of the world, too.

You remember Uncle Ted?

Oh, boy, look at you.

All grown up.

Come on, give me a hug.

- You really filled out.

- Sassy Cassie.

Come here.

I bet you got all the boys wrapped around your finger.

Boop.

(BOTH CHUCKLE SOFTLY)

RUE: Their family wasn't perfect.

("ELI'S COMING" BY THE NYLONS PLAYS)

Her mom had, you know, some issues.

Oh, my God.

RUE: And her dad struggled to keep a steady income.

Everywhere I go Eli's a comin' She walked, but she never got away Eli's a comin' She walked, but she never got away

(SUZE AND GUS ARGUING)

- SUZE: f*ck you.

- GUS: This is my family - RUE: And they fought.

- (INDISTINCT ARGUING)

In the way all parents kind of fight.

- (GLASS SHATTERING)

- (SUZE YELLING)

RUE: Except for the night before she started ninth grade.

(MUFFLED ARGUING)

(MUFFLED ARGUING CONTINUES)

RUE: Her mom told her that her dad was just being irrational.

Your father had some serious jealousy issues.

Let me tell you.

Plus, he couldn't hold a steady job to save his life.

I just think he didn't want the responsibility of being a father.

It's too much work.

RUE: But Cassie had heard differently.

My mom said your mom cheated on your dad.

And that's why he left.

What?

(SHUDDERING)

RUE: At first, she was really angry at her mom.

She resented her for being such a hypocrite.

- (LIQUID POURING)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)

RUE: But then she realized that her dad wasn't perfect.

I don't know if I want to be associated with herpes but, you know RUE: And her mom wasn't either, and maybe they just weren't right for each other.

(ALL LAUGHING)

RUE: He used to visit them on weekends.

Bye, Dad.

- Bye, Dad.

- RUE: But, eventually, it became once every couple of weeks.

He said he was coming.

RUE: And then sometimes, more than a month would go by.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- RUE: Then one night

- (CAR HORN BLARES)

he was driving home from work

- (TRUCK HORN HORNS)

- (GLASS SHATTERING)

and was in the ICU for 23 days.

The doctors were afraid he'd never walk again.

But Cassie knew he was strong, and that he'd get better.

He was prescribed fentanyl for pain.

Promethazine to offset the nausea.

Liquid Lorazepam to sleep, and Imitrex injections for migraines.

Cassie would text him and talk to him.

But as more time went by, the less responsive he became.

And eventually, months went by, and she didn't hear from him at all.

Until one night, a week after her 15th birthday, she got a text from a random number at about 1:00 in the morning.

(GARAGE DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN)

And even though she was excited to see him and wanted to hug him, there was something about the whole thing that scared her.

I want you to know there's never a day goes by I don't think about you.

The number you texted me from.

Can I call you?

That's my friend's phone.

But I promise I'll reach you to you with my new number, I Don't cry, baby.

(EXHALES)

I'm okay.

I'm fine.

Don't I just miss you, Dad.

I miss you, okay.

I love you.

RUE: He said he needed a few things, and made her promise that she wouldn't tell a soul.

(SNIFFLES)

(DOOR CLATTERS)

RUE: Cassie kept her promise, and never told anyone about that night.

- She also never saw her dad again.

- (DOOR SHUTS)

She fell in love with every guy she ever dated.

Whether they were smart or stupid or sweet or cruel, it didn't matter.

She didn't like to be alone.

- What are you doing?

- EX-BOYFRIEND 1: I'm just filming you.

Why?

RUE: And every guy she ever dated asked for the same things.

EX-BOYFRIEND 2: Can I film you sucking my dick?

What?

No!

- What?

Stop.

- EX-BOYFRIEND 3: Let's make a s*x tape.

What?

Get out of here.

EX-BOYFRIEND 4: Come on.

I won't tell anyone.

EX-BOYFRIEND 5: It's not that big of a deal.

Yes, it is.

I don't wanna do this.

RUE: And she almost always said yes.

Even though it didn't always make her feel good.

And she knew that most guys, after she broke up with them, would always share those photos or videos.

(MOANING, SLAPPING IN VIDEO)

The first time she found out, she had a panic attack, and wanted to swallow a whole bottle of Tylenol.

But she didn't.

Because, I mean, what's the worst thing anybody could say to her?

That she gave a blowjob to a guy who didn't deserve it?

And she figured by the time she was out of college and looking for a job, 99 percent of the population would have leaked nudes, anyway.

And then, at the beginning of the year, she met McKay.

And fell in love with him.

And he fell in love with her.

I love you.

RUE: And even though things weren't perfect, he loved her for who she was.

And even though she had made a couple of mistakes, I mean, they weren't big ones.

They weren't the kind of things you couldn't come back from.

Don't you know being so close To the edge When you are near me Ooh aah

(SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS)

NARRATOR (ON COMPUTER SCREEN)

: Previously on Love Island LAURA

(ON COMPUTER SCREEN)

: Grab the amazing-ness that you have with Josh by the balls.

RUE: People are always telling me about great TV shows.

How I just have to watch this show.

But the truth is, I don't want good TV.

I don't want a novel, or some slow burn, or anything that feels like work.

That's why I love reality TV.

It's funny, it's dramatic, and I can focus on it.

It's pure, effortless entertainment.

NARRATOR (ON COMPUTER SCREEN)

: Romance hits the rocks.

MAN (ON COMPUTER SCREEN)

: She doesn't talk to me, she doesn't acknowledge me.

She's playing a game.

- Honestly

- RUE: I want to lay down one moment and then look around the next and realize I have watched 22 straight hours of Love Island over a two-day period

- and yearn for more.

- (MUSIC PLAYS ON COMPUTER SCREEN)

Some people may find that depressing.

I don't.

It is, however, a good way to measure depression.

Because when reality TV begins to feel like work, like, final season of Mad Men work, you know you're depressed.

Like, haven't got out of bed to pee in 24 hours depressed.

(LIQUID SLOSHING)

(INDISTINCT TV CHATTER)

CASSIE: Do I look different to you?

You look fine to me.

'Cause I feel different.

Okay, well, you don't look it.

I don't think I'm gonna go to school today.

- 'Cause of Daniel?

- No, not 'cause of Daniel, Lexi!

Daniel's the last f*cking thing I care about right now.

Okay, well, it's all you ever f*cking talk about.

That's not true!

I asked you how I look.

Not about Daniel!

Yeah, well, you look beautiful, Cassie.

You look f*cking amazing.

It's literally all anyone's ever told you your entire life.

Like, listen to yourself.

It's f*cking exhausting.

(DOOR SLAMS)

(TV SHOW PLAYS INDISTINCTLY ON COMPUTER)

RUE: The thought of having to stand up, exert 172 muscles each step for 35 feet, just so I can sit on cold porcelain and piss out toxins over and over again for the rest of my life makes the whole concept of living feel like one long, sadistic joke.

But the absolute worst part of depression is that even though you know you're depressed, you're unable to stop yourself from getting worse.

But I wasn't the only one feeling down.

(DOOR OPENS)

JULES' DAD: Jules?

What's wrong?

I'm sick.

Okay.

Let me know if you need anything.

- (DOOR CLOSES)

- RUE: After Halloween, Jules didn't go to school for a full week.

And even though I sent her about 50 texts, she didn't respond.

Happy Halloween.

RUE: I could tell something bad had happened.

And that it had something to do with Nate.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS THREE TIMES)

(DOOR BUZZES)

RUE: Tyler Clarkson was booked for assault.

But this sh1t wasn't adding up.

And I was putting together the pieces of the puzzle.

(SIZZLING)

Howard, let's roll.

I wasn't gonna stop until I got the truth.

(PA BUZZES)

WOMAN (OVER PA): False accusations in today's world can cause serious long-term damage to one's career, reputation, and emotional well-being.

We all owe Nate Jacobs a heartfelt apology, and are excited and thrilled to have him back at East Highland.

LEXI: Why would Jules lie to help Nate?

I don't know.

- Well, have you asked her about it?

- No.

- You haven't asked her?

- No.

RUE: Keep looking, you mook.

I'm Morgan f*ckin' Freeman and this is the beginning of the third act.

Well, doesn't that seem like the first logical step?

Honestly, Howard, this whole thing is beyond logic.

- (MATCH SCRAPING)

- Unless Jules is in love with Nate.

LEXI: Why would Jules be in love with Nate?

You should listen to me.

Bennett, the cigarettes are killing me.

Hear me out.

Listen.

Listen.

Listen, the night of the carnival, she said she wanted to go meet up with this guy she met online, okay?

He's some f*ckin' jock, he's from a conservative family, and they were talking and texting.

They've been texting for weeks.

And when I say texting, I don't just mean regular f*ckin' texting.

They were sexting.

(MATCH STRIKES)

Like nudes?

Yeah.

Side note, very nice dick.

Very clean room.

Oh.

She never f*cking say his face.

Yeah, so Jules is catfished.

Now hear me out.

So the night of the carnival, she made plans with this guy to meet up with him at the lake, okay?

I f*cking go home.

Next thing I know - (KNOCKING)

- She's f*cking knocking at my window.

- (KNOCKING)

- She's all emotional, she's got f*cking tears in her eyes.

I say, Jules, what the f*ck happened?

She looks at me.

She goes "He didn't look like his pictures.

" Yeah, that's like, the definition of catfishing.

No, but do you know what his name was?

- Nate Jacobs?

- Tyler.

Like, Tyler Clarkson?

You're goddamned right.

Maddy is 17, Tyler's 22, and they fornicated.

Statutory.

Yeah.

You saw it, I saw it.

We all f*cking saw it.

Including Nate.

And what is a lighter offense than statutory?

Assault.

- (SLAMS)

- Bingo!

Rue, are you pouring coffee in the water filter?

- Yes, I am.

- Instead of water?

- Yes, I am.

- Well, please, don't do that.

And it's late.

You shouldn't be drinking caffeine.

Mom, please.

I have homework.

Well, there's a sentence I never thought I'd hear.

(COFFEE POT GURGLING)

Will you let me know when this is ready?

(PHONE RINGS)

LEXI (OVER PHONE)

: Hello?

Howard, it's Bennett.

LEXI (OVER PHONE): It's 2:45 in the morning.

Don't you ever sleep?

Listen, why would Nate single out Jules in the first place?

It's obvious he was sexually attracted to her.

And because Jules is predominantly het, okay, he wooed her with his, uh, f*cking creepy jock magic sh1t.

She's super f*ckin' sensitive, she's very forgiving, and she's basically the most wonderful f*cking person on the planet she fell for him.

That's why she f*cking testified.

I'm a genius.

I'm a f*cking genius.

Hey, Mom!

I'm a f*cking genius.

I'm not even tired.

It's crazy.

I'm not even f*cking tired.

I feel amazing.

(CHUCKLES)

LEXI (OVER PHONE): I'll be honest with you, Bennett.

You're too close to this case.

- (PHONE CLICKS)

- (DIAL TONE)

(SLAMS)

(EXHALES)

- Who was that?

- LEXI: Rue.

Think she's in, like, a manic state.

CASSIE: Is she okay?

I don't think so.

- - f*ck.

(SIGHS)

I don't know what you're gonna say, but this feels like really dramatic.

Yeah, this is spooky.

It is not spooky, BB.

I just, I need your advice on, like, two things.

And I need you guys to promise me not to say a single f*cking word.

So, the night of Daniel's Halloween party, something happened.

(GROANING)

- (KAT PANTING)

- I don't usually come that fast.

That was amazing.

(SIGHS)

It's funny.

I always thought I was gonna lose my virginity to you.

(BOTH PANTING SOFTLY)

- You're a virgin?

- No, I mean, when we were younger.

- When we dated.

- We dated?

Yeah, in sixth grade.

You and me?

Yeah, for like five months.

Oh.

I literally have no recollection of that.

(GROANS)

Wait.

Am I hearing this correctly?

You want to tell McKay that you made out with Daniel at the carnival and on Halloween?

Yeah, but, I don't I don't have to say it's Daniel.

Bitch, that's the craziest idea I've ever heard.

Right?

For sure.

Yeah, but I want to be honest with him.

(GROANS)

- You cannot tell McKay.

- But it's not like I cheated-cheated.

Kissing is worse.

It's so much more intimate.

And if anybody brings it up, you deny, deny, deny.

Okay, but, I just I don't want there to be something this bad between us forever.

I wouldn't worry about it, Cassie.

It's not like you guys are gonna be together forever.

Kat, what the f*ck is your problem?

You're being a bad friend now.

You were a bad friend to me, and this whole new personality is seriously unlikable.

World Star!

Why, because I won't sit and listen to you bitch and moan about your psychotic, abusive boyfriend who you've literally broken up with a thousand times?

It was literally the lowest point in my life, so, yeah.

That and the fact that you're just f*ckin' mean.

Maddy, ever since I've met you, all you talk about is yourself.

Your clothes, your boyfriends, whatever superficial sh1t you think is so f*cking important.

Sorry I'm no longer interested.

I don't know about everyone else, but I miss the old Kat.

You know, the one who had a sense of humor and wasn't a f*ckin' c**t?

Damn.

(SOBBING)

(SOBBING CONTINUES)

What was the other thing?

CASSIE: What other thing?

You said you needed advice on two things.

I don't remember.

What would you do?

Um, I don't know.

I've never really been in a situation where two guys have been interested in me.

CASSIE: That's 'cause you're shy.

I guess so, but I've also never been in a situation where I've been interested in two guys.

That's also 'cause you're shy.

LEXI: Maybe.

(CHUCKLES)

But if you were in my situation, what would you do?

Honestly, I don't think I would say anything.

What if not saying something makes you feel really bad?

LEXI: Worse than saying it?

Yeah.

Well, then, I don't think you have any other option.

(KNOB TURNING)

(INSTINCT CHATTER ON COMPUTER SCREEN)

How are you feeling?

Uh, I think I have the flu or something.

GIA: You want me to get you something?

- Something to drink, or something - Uh, no, I'm good.

You sure you got the flu, Rue?

Gia, right now I just need you to leave me the f*ck alone, all right?

(DOOR SLAMS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON COMPUTER SCREEN)

- (EXHALES)

- (ON COMPUTER SCREEN): Previously Look, Nate, we all make mistakes in life.

We hurt the ones we love.

We let down our friends, our family.

Sometimes we do it out of ignorance.

Sometimes it's selfishness.

I am not perfect.

You know that.

But I've spent my life trying to do better.

You have not.

But it is my wish for you.

I don't know how you got out of this situation.

I know you didn't deserve to, but you did.

And I admire whatever it took.

I just hope it didn't teach you the wrong lesson.

(DOOR SLAMS)

(LIQUID SLOSHING)

( LOVE ISLAND PLAYS INDISTINCTLY ON COMPUTER SCREEN)

RUE: Okay, this is gonna sound sick, because I'm actually in a lot of pain right now, due to the sheer weight and strain on my bladder, but, man, does this make me miss opiates.

(GROANS)

Because your bladder is trained from a very early age not to pee whenever it wants to, it needs permission from your brain.

And when you're really high, your brain gets a little lazy.

Too lazy to say something.

Come on.

Breathe.

(EXHALES)

Come on, please.

(WHIMPERS)

It's probably why so many drug addicts die on toilets.

- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

- (GROANING)

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

The truth is, the last time I left this room, I didn't have the best experience.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(CEREAL CLATTERING)

(MILK POURING)

RICK: Sleeping all day?

- It's quite the life.

- (LESLIE CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

RUE: Meet Rick.

My mom's new boyfriend.

RUE: If you were to ask Rick to describe himself, he'd say he was "A romantic at heart.

I'm adventurous.

I love to travel.

I love the outdoors great art, great movies, great wine.

Forever young.

" (RUE, GIA CHUCKLE)

Sorry, I'm sorry.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh.

- I miss your dad.

- Me, too.

- RUE: So, enter Rick.

- (PHONE BEEPS)

- (PHONE DINGS)

- So Your mom tells me that you have a new, uh, "best friend.

" What is that supposed to mean?

That, you know.

- (CHUCKLES)

- You got a new best friend.

You know what, Rick?

Why don't you go f*ck yourself?

How dare you speak to someone like that?

- Like that?

- Who?

(SLURPS)

Rick.

- Don't be a smart-ass.

- Did I offend you?

Apologize right now.

RUE: In retrospect, I was a little cunt-y.

- But Rick does suck, and I was angry.

- (SPOON CLATTERS)

For a lot of reasons.

Rick, I sincerely apologize for telling you to go f*ck yourself.

What I really meant to say is that my mom can do better and I hate seeing you sit in the chair my dad sat at.

(PHONE DINGS)

(EXHALES)

(LOVE ISLAND PLAYS INDISTINCTLY ON COMPUTER SCREEN)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ON COMPUTER SCREEN)

RUE: If I am bipolar I sure as sh1t prefer mania over depression.

Yo, Fez.

So you know how in every '90s thriller, right, Morgan Freeman plays, like, the same semi-psychic black cop.

- Yeah.

- So, I know that's kind of racist, but the point is, in every movie, he's always calmly putting the f*cking pieces of the case together, while everybody else around him is f*cking freaking out, saying, "You don't know what the f*ck you're talking about, Morgan.

You're You're a f*cking bad husband.

You should f*cking retire.

" But no.

Morgan is f*cking hyper-focused.

Because he can see beyond the little details.

He's looking for the big f*ckin' picture.

Because all of this sh1t?

It's connected, Fez.

And it is way bigger than any of us can even f*cking see.

(WATER SLOSHING)

The point is, that's me.

Right now, that is f*cking me.

I can see everything so f*cking clearly.

I know what happened, I know why it happened, and I know what the f*ck I'm gonna do about it.

Word.

Word.

- She can't hear me, right?

- She can't see you, either.

Okay, good, 'cause this is, like, some real top-secret sh1t.

Trust me, Rue, she not gonna gossip.

RUE (SIGHS): Okay.

- Do you still have that gun?

- FEZCO: What gun?

The one from the couch.

I mean, I got a couple guns.

Why do you have so many guns?

My grandma.

That's cool.

What you worried about my guns for?

Okay, well, I was thinking that maybe you could use one to scare Nate Jacobs.

Are you serious?

I mean, I'm not not serious.

Rue, that must be the dumbest sh1t you've said all f*cking day.

You don't have to f*cking point it at him.

You could just You could, like You could flash it.

You really have lost your f*ckin' mind, Rue.

f*ck, it's a bad f*cking idea, okay?

I just was f*cking spit balling, here.

(SIGHS)

I mean, he f*cked with me, he f*cked with Jules.

And I want f*cking revenge.

Okay?

- Sorry.

- (PHONE DINGS)

f*ck.

Mouse is here.

The guy with the All right, so, stay in here.

Be quiet Fez, I can't I can't stay in here.

Like, I'm really - Yes, the f*ck you can.

Shh!

- I'm not good with awkward silences.

Be quiet.

Listen, I'm really serious right now.

You just need to sit your manic ass down, and be quiet for five f*ckin' minutes, Rue.

I'm not f*ckin' playin' with you.

- Sit down and shut the f*ck up.

- (DOOR SLAMS)

(EXHALES)

Okay.

So f*ckin' weird.

VOICE OF PILL BOTTLE: Psst.

Psst.

Psst.

Yo, Rue.

BOTH (WHISPERING): Rue.

Rue, I'm so lonely.

(WHISPERING): Me, too.

Don't forget about me.

That old lady?

She doesn't even know we exist.

ALL: Rue!

Eat us all.

- Eat - Us - All!

- Eat - Us - All!

Eat us all!

Eat us all!

(DOOR CLOSES SOFTLY)

(SIGHS)

MOUSE: Yo, I'm gonna need you to start moving some weight.

Yo, I'm just trying to keep it low-key over here, man.

And I'm trying to make f*ckin' money.

FEZCO: Even if wanted all this sh1t, bruh, I don't got the money for all this, man.

That's why you in luck.

I'm gonna front it to you.

Ten percent on the vig, and I'll collect in a month.

I'm not tryin' to do all that sh1t, man.

(CHUCKLES)

I ain't asking, bruh.

Step yo sh1t up.

(WHISPERING)

: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

One (BIRDS CAWING)

- - (CAWING CONTINUES)

RUE: The other thing about depression is it kind of collapses time.

Rue, are you listening?

RUE: Suddenly, you find your whole days blending together to create one endless and suffocating loop.

So you find yourself trying to remember the things that made you happy.

- JULES: Do you want to get closer?

- RUE: Yeah.

RUE: But slowly, your brain begins to erase every memory that ever brought you joy.

And eventually, all you can think about is how life has always been this way.

And will only continue to be this way.

(LOVE ISLAND THEME MUSIC PLAY)

NARRATOR (ON COMPUTER): Previously, on Love Island LAURA (ON COMPUTER): Grab the amazing-ness that you have with Josh by the balls.

RUE: I wonder if Jules is having fun.

ANNOUNCER (OVER PA): Stay clear of the tracks (ANNOUNCEMENT CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

("BE MINEZ" BY AMANDLA PLAYS)

I don't want to kid around Like a man who's dying Grinning at the end, Wondering if you'll always be mine Be mine I don't wanna spite God with my given fear

(JULES YELLING)

I just want euphoria, the more you're here

(BOTH LAUGHING, CHATTERING)

TC: Oh, I missed you!

TC: So how are the suburbs treating you?

- JULES: They're claustrophobic.

- (TC CHUCKLES)

Yeah, how do you like it?

How you doing?

I don't know.

It's been a weird, weird-ass year.

Weird in what way?

Weird in every way.

sh1t.

You make some good friends, at least?

- Yeah, I got one.

- Yeah?

But it's, like, complicated.

Oh.

Well, are you friends, or are you a little bit more,

- like a special kind of friend?

- Both, I guess?

- Aah.

- Yeah.

Okay.

What, are you in love with him or something?

- (CHUCKLES)

Her, not him.

- Oh!

- Ooh, a little plot twist.

Okay!

- Yeah.

No room for hetero-normativity in here.

My bad.

So what?

- I don't know.

I don't know what it is.


- Yeah.

It's not, like, great right now.

I'm not exactly, like, in the best place.

Why?

What's going on?

I came here so I wouldn't have to think about it.

Understood.

(CHUCKLES)

What the f*ck, what the f*ck JULES AND TC

(SINGING ALONG)

: Feel the morning on my face Ain't a pill that I didn't take Just a lifetime, it's been a long day 'Cause I'm asleep when Oh!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Camouflage Don't forget your hashtag

- This one?

- No, I'm one more up.

(BOTH LAUGHING, CHATTERING)

You're a dead man You gonna run them They don't ever run you Yo, Anna.

- Hey.

- TC: Anna, someone I want you to meet.

Hi.

I'm Jules.

I know.

- TC: Like it?

- Did y'all make these?

- TC: Our friend did.

- I mean, are you guys gonna go out?

Uh, Anna's always trying to put makeup on me.

- So awkward.

- (JULES CHUCKLES)

Feel the morning on my face JULES: I remember walking out of Sears with my first pair of heels in my backpack.

ANNA: Cute.

And my heart was f*cking racing.

And I got home, and went straight to my room, locked the door, put 'em on And, I just felt like I was collecting herbs, or making potions in order to up my manna, you know?

Like, it started with that, and then it was clothes, and then it was makeup, and eventually hormones.

Um, I just kind of kept leveling up.

So, what level are you at now?

I don't know.

But I definitely haven't reached my full power.

But you date guys, right?

Date isn't really the right word.

What she means to say is that she's a slut.

- JULES: f*ck you!

- What, it's not an insult!

- I mean - But you normally hook up with guys.

JULES: Yeah, but my relationship to men is weird.

- ANNA: Like, how?

- In my head, it's like If I can conquer men, then I can conquer femininity.

Why do you need a guy to make you feel more feminine?

ANNA: Hmm?

- We'll circle back to that one.

- (JULES CHUCKLES)

- So have you?

- Have I what?

Conquered femininity?

JULES: I don't know.

But, it's not like I even want to conquer it.

It's like I want to f*ckin' obliterate it.

- And then move on to the next level.

- ANNA: Mmm.

BOTH: And the next, and the next.

(CHUCKLING)

Level up.

Level up!

(LAUGHS)

Yeah.

I don't really know what the means, or looks like, but - I want it.

- TC: Queerness is infinite.

(CHUCKLES)

ANNA: Okay, look at me.

Yeah.

You look adorable.

- Stop.

- (JULES CHUCKLES)

I'm pregnant.

What?

Are you for real that you're 100 percent pregnant?

Yeah.

(SIGHS)

I (SIGHS)

I'm sorry, uh Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm I'm just a little bit nervous.

Nervous about what?

About what you're gonna say.

You're not really thinking about having this kid, are you?

(CASSIE SNIFFLES)

I really love you, McKay.

Yeah, I love you, too, but I'm doing a lot of sh1t right now.

I'm in the middle of school right now.

It's a big f*ckin' responsibility, Cassie.

What if this is what I'm supposed to do with my life?

What the f*ck?

My parents are gonna kill me.

My coach is gonna kill me.

My parents are gonna f*cking kill me.

f*ck.

Cass, I don't even think you wanna have this baby, okay?

It's not a It's not a f*ckin' fairy tale.

Like It may seem all cute and cuddly to you, but this is real sh1t.

I'm not even ready to be a dad.

I don't know if that's selfish to say or whatever, but Children are f*ckin' scary.

You wanted to talk about it, so here we are, we're talking about it.

But I say we don't do it.

I'm not saying I'm gonna have a baby.

(SNIFFLES)

I just wanted to dream about it for a minute.

(EXHALES)

(CASSIE SNIFFLES)

(SNIFFLES)

You'll make the best mother on the planet one day.

- (SNIFFLES)

- I say that without a doubt.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

- Hello?

- (MAN ON COMPUTER CLEARS THROAT)

For some reason your screen is black.

Should I call you back?

MAN (ON COMPUTER): No, I prefer to keep it that way.

Oh.

Okay.

You drive a hard bargain.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, well, a girl's gotta eat.

MAN (ON COMPUTER): 300 for thirty minutes.

- You should have asked for more.

- Really?

MAN (ON COMPUTER): Let me see your whole body.

Stand up.

Yes.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

Keep going.

Yes.

Fantastic.

(UNZIPPING)

Are you nervous?

I-I-I (CHUCKLES)

I mean, I don't usually, um (SNIFFS)

undress.

MAN (ON COMPUTER)

: But I am special.

Right?

Yes.

MAN (ON COMPUTER)

: Then say it.

You're special.

MAN (ON COMPUTER)

: So, get undressed.

(SLOW BREATHING ON COMPUTER)

Oh, wow.

(MAN ON COMPUTER BREATHING HEAVILY)

You're beautiful.

Boom, bitch, boom, bitch We on the move bitch, ready set go Ready set go, Ready, set, go Aim for the stars, if we miss We going to the moon, bitch, ready set go Ready set go, Ready - Can you get me a mango La Croix?

- NATE: Um-hmm.

- And those cherry rolling papers?

- Anything else?

- What up, Fez?

- What's up, man?

Yo, can I get, uh, two of the rolling papers, too, bruh?

Yo, man.

I don't know what's been going on with you, Rue, and Jules and sh1t.

But you should know, I really do care about her.

Aren't you, like, her drug dealer?

Nah, man.

What, are you in a relationship?

(SNIFFS)

Nah, bruh, that's like, my family.

NATE: So it's platonic.

Look, man, all I'm saying is, leave her and her friends alone.

Is that a threat?

Nah, I'm just telling you.

NATE: Or what?

We're not gonna be having this conversation.

NATE: Fezco, let's get this straight.

You're, like, half a retard.

You dropped out of school at 20, and now you're a gangster.

What are you, like, f*cking Tony Montana?

What's the plan?

Hmm?

You gonna be living in a mansion, f*ckin' pet tigers and sh1t?

Go f*ck yourself.

Listen, bruh.

All I'm sayin', you keep f*ckin' with Rue and her friends, and I'mma kill you.

It's gonna be $5.

75, playboy.

(REGISTER TAPE WHIRRING)

- (CAR DOOR SLAMS)

- (ENGINE STARTS)

(YELLS)

RUE: An adult bladder can hold two cups of urine.

But if you're telling your bladder to hold off because, say, you're in the worst depression of your f*cking life, your bladder will eventually fill.

(GROANS, CHUCKLES)

- (LIQUID SLOSHING)

- And what begins to happen is all of the toxins that your kidneys have pushed into your bladder begin to travel back into your kidneys.

(GROANS)

(PANTING)

(WHISPERS): f*ck.

I know what you're thinking.

Rue, this is insane.

Don't get a kidney infection.

Walk to the bathroom.

Trust me, I'm thinking the same f*ckin' thing.

(GROANS)

- (GIGGLING)

- Like a little pot?

("REVERIE" BY ARCA PLAYS)

(SNORTS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SONG CONTINUES)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(SONG CONTINUES)

(SONG CRESCENDOS)

(RHYTHMIC HEARTBEAT)

(HEARTBEAT CONTINUES)

("I'M NOT IN LOVE" BY KELSEY LU PLAYING)

I'm not in love - JULES: You remind me of her.

- ANNA: Who?

So don't forget it JULES: My best friend.

ANNA: So what's she like?

- JULES: Honestly?

Kind of a mess.

- (JULES AND ANNA LAUGH)

ANNA: So I'm a mess?

- Yeah.

- ANNA: How am I a mess?

- I don't know yet.

- (ANNA CHUCKLES)

Don't think you've got it made

- I'm not in love, oh, no

- I think I'm really high.

- (BOTH GIGGLING)

- It's because

- JULES: Should I text her?

- ANNA: No.

(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

You only get one more.

(PANTING)

(WHISPERS): f*ck.

(WINCES, THEN EXHALES)

(GROANS)

(PANTING)

(EXHALES)

(PANTING CONTINUES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Jules.

What are you doing here?

- NATE: You texted me.

- I did?

Did you not want me to come?

You here alone?

It hides a nasty stain that's lying there No, no, no, no, no.

So don't you ask me To give it back I'm scared of you, Nate.

I'm sorry.

For everything.

I'm sorry for hurting you.

You you were the most beautiful person that I've ever known.

I'm Tyler.

(SNIFFS)

I'm the person that you fell in love with.

(JULES SCREAMS)

- (THUDS)

- I wanna kill you.

I'm yours.

I'm all yours.

I'm not in love - (SLAPS)

- JULES: You're a pussy.

- You're a bitch.

- (NATE COUGHING)

And I wish the whole f*cking world could know.

(KISSING)

(SONG CONTINUES)

I know this isn't gonna end well.

(SONG ENDS)

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS)

Hello?

Yeah, I'd like to report a crime.

- (SIREN BLARING)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON POLICE RADIO)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)

CASSIE: Mom.

I think I need your help.

Come here.

Come here.

It's okay.

It's okay.

I love you so much.

(CASSIE SOBBING)

(WHISPERS)

: I love you so much.

You're so beautiful.

- FEZCO: f*ck!

- (BUZZER BUZZING)

- East Highland PD!

- (BANGING)

- Open the door!

- FEZCO: Come on, bro.

- Hurry the f*ck up out there!

- (TOILET FLUSHES)

OFFICER: We know you're in there.

Open up!

FEZCO: f*ck!

Goddamn it!

- f*ck, bro.

- What the f*ck, man?

Come on, bruh.

Hurry up, for real, man.

(POLICE YELLING)

- (CLATTERING)

- (BANGING ON DOOR)

- POLICE: Unlock the door!

Open up, now!

- (FLUSHING)

Goddamn it!

(SNIFFLING, SHUDDERING)

LESLIE: Rue, what's wrong?

(SOBBING)

Okay, baby.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

RUE: I had a therapist once who said that these states will wax and wane.

Which gave my mother relief, because it meant that in the bad times, there would be good times.

But it also gave her anxiety because it meant that in the good times, there would be bad times.

It always confused me, because I didn't really know what it meant.

(WHISPERS): It's okay, baby.

It's okay.

But it did sound a lot calmer than the way I would describe it.

I think I need to go back on medication.

LESLIE: There you go.

How you feel?

Okay?

I know you're feeling low right now, baby.

But the fact that you didn't turn back means you're gettin' better.

(WHISPERS): It does.

It does.

RUE: Granted, I didn't realize until later what waxing and waning implied.

That these feelings were fixed and constant and would never end for the rest of my life.

(WIND BLOWING)

Every single night I endure the flight of little wings Of white-flamed butterflies in my brain These ideas of mine percolate the mind Trickle down my spine Swarm the belly, swelling to a blaze That's where the pain comes in Like a second skeleton Trying to fit beneath the skin I can't fit the feelings in Oh, every single night's alight With my brai ain What'd I say to her, why'd I say to her What does she think of me That I'm not what I ought to be That I'm what I try not to be It's got to be somebody else's fault I can't get caught If what I am is what I am 'cause I does what I does Then brother, get back 'Cause my breast's gonna bust open The rib is the shell and the heart is a yolk And I just made a meal for us both to choke on Every single night's a fight with my brai ain I just want to Feel everything I just want to Feel everything LESLIE: Last night, I couldn't stop thinking about the day you were born.

(VOCALIZING)

LESLIE: What if I heard a voice (VOCALIZING)

Some narrator who said (VOCALIZING)

"Here's what's going to happen.

" (VOCALIZING)

Doing it all for love - (BREATHES DEEPLY)

- Doing it all Doing it al for love (MUSIC CONTINUES)

I'm gonna disappear Obviously, there's something wrong with her!

- (GRUNTING)

- (PANTING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

But all this happened because I left.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Doing it all for love