02x05 - Gore on Canvas

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Batwoman". Aired October 6, 2019 - current.*
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Three years after Batman disappeared, his cousin Kate Kane sets out to protecting the streets of Gotham City.
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02x05 - Gore on Canvas

Post by bunniefuu »

It's all there.

Tell me where I can find the Jack napier painting.

Your painting is being held by the collective, private club of connoisseurs of outlawed artwork and antiquities.

You want to tie the room together with a vintage canvas that takes you inside the mind of psychotic criminality?

These are the people you need to know.

I want an introduction.

Oh.

The top crow?

Your biggest clients are in the collective.

They pay your bills.

You walk up to their doorstep trying to grab that napier, - they're gonna ask you for a refund.

- Unh!

You're from Coryana.

You're gonna tell Safiyah to give my daughter back.

Unh!

Aah!

I got a report of a guy lurking around east end with a spiky pole.

It doesn't concern you, Batwoman.

That so?

Because he's hanging off my line, so why don't you tell me what kind of fish I caught?

There's an item I'm looking for.

It's gonna help me find my daughter.

The woman holding her c*ptive doesn't want me to find it.

Safiyah?

She sent this guy?

w*apon fits the M.O.

Of her assassins, but I'll confirm after you hand him over now.

I don't take orders from crows, and I got a better sh*t at finding Kate Kane before you do.

"All crows are bastards." Morning, Gotham.

Guess the early bird gives us the bird.

Acrobatic Art Prankster Wolf Spider was at it again, rolling his eyes at the entire city from the top of the Gotham century skyscraper with an iridescent emoji, millennial hacktivism at its finest and almost enough to distract us from an even juicier bat story.

Another sighting of Batwoman 2.0 and top crow Jacob Kane together, this time working in the east end crime scene.

Are we looking at Gotham's newest power couple?

No.

Jeez.

I thought Batwoman was cool.

Hey.

We don't know what they were doing.

Maybe Batwoman was saving his ass.

Thought you might be hungry after last night's reconnecting.

Still sleepy.

I wish you could do something - about that.

- Hm.

You can take the day off.

Mmm.

I can't.

As cute as I look in your ridiculous robe, I should get home and change first.

You walk of shaming for me?

Like the old days.

Speaking of the old days, it's time you got that apology I owe you.

My partying was out of control, and you took my stash thinking it would help me, and instead, it got your ass thrown in jail, and I get why you didn't want me to visit you.

You served 18 months for me, ry, and it's time I start paying you back.

One for you, one for me?

I love it, but we're good.

You got your life together.

That's all I wanted.

Ohh!

Hey.

What is this?

It's..

A work injury.

You fall on a corkscrew?

Ryan, you need to get that looked at.

Yeah.

I just got this job.

I don't need my boss thinking I can't hack it.

You tend bar.

She'll understand.

All these years later still worrying about me.

It's kind of cute.

- You know what's kind of cute?

- Hmm?

You...

Without that nastiness on your shoulder.

You take care of everyone else.

Take care of yourself for once.

Giving you an antibiotic.

So...

it's just an infection?

Well, it might have turned necrotic if you had waited any longer.

Are you sure you're not having any other symptoms that you're not telling me about?

No.

I...

maybe a little more tired than normal.

- Ok.

- Ok.

Kate would pop two of these, and she'd be back in fighting shape.

- Ok.

Cool.

- But if you're hurt, you should sit out a few days.

Right.

Did Kate ever sit out?

Kate was never sh*t with anything that pierced through the batsuit, and you shouldn't compare yourself to her.

What's my choice, huh?

Everybody else is.

I know you don't have a Twitter, so...

I assume you mean Luke.

Just don't tell him about this, ok?

I don't need another reason for him not to trust me.

He's been questioning every decision I make.

Not to backseat drive, but aren't you proficient in 6 different forms of martial arts?

What's the point of just leaving him here?

I told him we wanted the location of Coryana.

He'll give it up.

Take it from a foster kid.

It is amazing how well you behave when you are literally starving.

We don't have time to wait him out.

If Alice finds ocean before we find Coryana, Safiyah's gonna give Kate to her, and Alice is going to k*ll her.

Ok.

So, do your hacker thing and get some info on the spiky pole guy to speed this up.

I already tried.

I tracked his movements and confirmed that he wasn't after Jacob Kane.

He was stalking the guy that he k*lled in the alley, but the victim was an investment analyst at Gotham capital with no record.

What's he got to do with Coryana?

Sir, I'm not defending her actions, but my guess is she's after what we're after...

Kate's location.

Let her keep Safiyah's thug.

We got a new lead on the napier...

Evan Blake, old friend of Kate's and a fixture on the Gotham art scene.

Just flew back from a trip to Berlin.

He was caught a couple of years ago with plundered artifact and forced to pay restitution.

In other words, a likely member of the collective who might cooperate.

Commander, you're underselling our entire origin - story.

- Katie Kane saved my life.

- Really?

- Gotham prep.

It's eighth grade, and the winter formal is a multiverse shattering crisis because I'm "straight." Kate was way out by then, I had this tragic crush, and I asked her to the dance.

I'm sure she wanted to roll her eyes so hard, but with the grace of a Saint, she said yes.

The only time you'll ever hear teenage Kate described as a Saint.

My parents take me to pick her up, and Kate is jaw-dropping in this tailored velvet suit, just radiating q*eer confidence.

I on the other hand dissolve into a monsoon of tears.

Kate races me up to her bedroom, and we go through the whole thing.

"I'm gay." "I know." We make it to the dance, and I came out by default Because I wore Kate's alexander McQueen off-the-shoulder mini, which begged a lot of questions, but I wasn't afraid anymore.

I was glowing, and then Kate ditched me to make out with Maggie Watson.

Sounds like our girl.

So you need my help with Kate's disappearance.

I'm here for you.

Kate was looking for a piece of artwork, something that may have gotten her on the wrong side of someone very dangerous.

Our theory is if we find the item it will lead us to her captor.

Well, you've come to the right art snob.

I was senior editor at the Gotham Museum of Antiquities, I curate my own private collections, I've... got my hands in a bit of everything.

Yeah.

We know.

Agent Moore.

Kate was looking for a canvas painted by Jack napier, alias the Joker.

You're aware of it, yes?

I know the legend.

Psychotic evildoer breaks into home, splashes homeowner's guts all over some old painting in the foyer and calls it modern art.

It's a bit on the nose if you ask me.

Not to mention illegal to buy, sell, or possess since it was stolen from an active crime scene.

I'm sorry.

Should there be a harsh light shining in my eyes right now?

Because the Kate I knew never gave a crap about art, and I haven't spoken with her in years.

We have reason to believe that you're affiliated with the collective.

Heh.

We'll work to get you full immunity if you help us make contact.

Immunity from what, Ms. Moore?

I'm a perfect angel.

I thought you were here friend.

I love Katie, but this feels like entrapment.

If you need to contact me again, I'll refer you to my lawyers.

I want all our tech inside every device Evan owns, round-the-clock revolving tails.

Yes, sir, but there could be an easier way to locate Coryana...

With Batwoman's help.

Let me ask her for access to her prisoner.

Batwoman or whoever it is who stepped in for my daughter, I am not gonna grovel at her feet.

Then let me do it or at least ask nicely because Alice will do a lot worse than grovel to find Kate before we do.

Ocean.

Hi.

Hi.

What do you call it when you're sure you've met someone...

You're sure you've never met?

A stay of execution.

♪ There's a full moon, I'm howlin' tonight ♪ ♪ And there's a-blood on the Thorn of a Rose ♪ Vodka on the rocks.

♪ Think you're gonna love tonight ♪ ♪ Listen, girl, well, I think you should know ♪ Visiting from Gotham?

Why?

Do I look depressed?

You've got the sophistication of a city mouse.

Heh.

Mouse.

Ahem.

Touchy subject.

Don't you think mice are cute?

I had a mouse in my life.

I loved him like a brother, and when he started holding me back from my dreams, I k*lled him.

Heh.

sh**t.

Um...

I think it's my turn to, uh...

♪ You better wait ♪ ♪ Before your heart is turned to slate ♪ That is the fastest I've ever seen him take the hint.

Can I join you in case he decides to try it again?

Pretty sure he's in the next county by now, but by all means.

Last time I came here to meet a Batwoman, the vibes...

were different.

Please say this isn't a Booty call.

Look.

I don't know where you got this idea that all crows are bastards, but some of us are trying to make a difference.

Well, in my experience, when the crows fly together, they call it a m*rder for a reason.

I want to offer you a deal.

You get everything we know about Safiyah and Coryana, and we get access to your prisoner.

So you can b*at him within an inch of his life.

He's a m*rder*r who knows where Kate's being held.

- I'll think about it.

- You should be doing everything in your power to help Kate.

I don't need a crow telling me how to do my job.

I'm not speaking to you as a crow.

Kate's the love of my life, and I need your help to get her back.

Hell to the no.

No.

Working with the crows makes my skin crawl.

- Screw that.

- No.

It's not like we're hosting them a fundraiser.

Trust me.

We make a deal that sounds good, they'll break it.

Not if we're dealing with Sophie.

Sophie has hauled my ass in for questioning so many times she knows my damn coffee order.

No!

Will you talk some sense into her, please?

We're at a dead end, Ryan.

Look.

I'm sorry, but you're outvoted.

I get it.

You want Kate back, but the crows have tried to ruin my life for fun.

I'm not helping them!

Ok.

So.

Crows horror stories.

You want me to go, or...

Do you want to do your first?

My girl Angelique had a drug habit, and on a very ugly night, she was gone, like a different person, so I found her stash, and I took it, thinking I could somehow straighten her out, bring her back. I'm on the street, crying, no question what kind of night I'm having, and I pass these two crows, and one of them yells out, "you'd be cuter with a smile on your face." And my mama told me what to do about it.

I... pay them no mind and keep moving, but they... they wouldn't let me go, so my hand went out, my finger went up, and boom, those crows had what they wanted.

They found the dr*gs and thought they were yours.

Sorry that happened to you.

What was yours?

Um... the crows...

k*lled my father.

Wait.

What?

Really?

Really.

It's, uh, not a story for today, but, um...

It's the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I should have let you go first.

Look.

I will never forgive them, and I don't want to help the crows either, but we need them to help us.

Remember, this isn't punishment just for the sake of it.

Given this m*rder*r every opportunity to talk, so unless you have any other ideas, it's time to take this to the next level.

You've got some choices.

You can give us the location of Coryana...

Unh!

You can get us in touch with Safiyah or the man known as ocean.

Help us find the napier painting.

Listen to me.

It is not worth what they're gonna do to you.

The many arms will k*ll whoever lays hands on that painting.

You'll never find Coryana.

I never said the two were related.

The painting gets us to Coryana?

Is it a map?

- Cyanide capsule!

- Let's get him down!

It's too late.

It's too late.

Kane pushed him too hard, and now we're at a dead end.

Maybe not.

We've been surveilling a suspect we linked to the Napier, and we just got a hit on its location.

A group called the collective is having a special exhibition tomorrow night to auction the painting off.

Why now?

Word must have gotten back to the owner about the body that dropped the other night.

Too much heat.

You doing anything tomorrow night?

You looking for a date to this thing?

We don't have an insider, but we need someone with no connection to the crows who can infiltrate the event and grab the napier without getting caught.

I go alone.

No crows at the location, no surveillance, and I want you directly in charge of any crows assigned to this mission.

This is a one-off.

We're not partners.

So...

ocean...

What do you do?

I...

bore people to death by telling them I'm a soil technician.

Ooh.

That sounds like a fancy name for dirt nerd, but you smiled when you said it, so...

you must like your work.

I grew up in nature.

My family cultivated everything we ever needed - from the land.

- Hm.

In a place like Gotham, where everything is concrete, isn't that incredible?

So tell me, where is this magical place you hail from?

♪ And I chase my whiskey with the blues ♪ I'm meeting an associate.

Should splash some water on my face.

5 sh*ts...

No regrets.

Hey.

Can I ask you something?

Have we met somewhere before?

Think I'd remember you.

♪ Chase my whiskey with the blues ♪ Probably just thinking about somebody else.

Oh, well.

Do you mind...

Shutting the shade?

You slept through half the day.

5 sh*ts, no regrets.

Shall I explain?

I do wish you would.

Some lunatic on a far-away island is holding my sister hostage, and she won't hand her over until I gut you and air mail the evidence.

This woman got a name?

Enough women want you dead I need to be specific?

Just answer the damn question.

Safiyah.

Although her obedient island followers call her queen.

Not me.

I called her sister.

I have 3 words.

Who...

is she?

- Ohh!

Mm-what?!

- Look!

♪ We're making snow melt ♪ Wait.

Are you sure art collectors are supposed to have this much swag?

Well, first of all, they're not art collectors.

They're outlaws, and if Evan Blake is the style guide, this party's about to look like "the hunger games." What's Evan Blake's deal?

Ohh.

He and I were always angling for Kate's affection.

Nope.

He was way more competitive and had...

heh...

A lot more flair than me.

Now he's overeducated, and apparently, he's addicted to mischief.

The crows say that he runs the door for the collective.

Oh.

No.

- Yeah.

- Ok.

Well, I think I can make this work.

I'd say so.

H-Hey.

I...

I brought the plan...

I...

I brought the game plan.

The event is inside a private hangar at Gotham international.

It's actually a pretty clever way of doing this.

So the collective flies in, they unload their pieces, they buy, sell, party, then they load back up, fly away.

No customs, no TSA, maximum security.

How are we sneaking the batsuit through that security?

See, we just happen to have vip access to every square inch of that terminal.

Yeah.

Between Wayne enterprises and Hamilton dynamics, we burn more private jet fuel than the hadids, Kardashians, and the air force combined.

Yeah.

So with our resources, crows' intelligence, and a secret agent that no one's going to suspect...

Ryan Wilder.

Wait.

I'm just supposed to talk my way inside?

Oh, no.

Did you think Mary had all the accessories?

Look at this precision metalwork.

The weight is perfectly balanced.

What's the provenance?

Which bat did it belong to?

Woman.

- 1.0 or...

- Current model.

The batarang is a stunning piece.

We'll make an exception and allow it into the exhibition.

Ok.

I'm really loving that dress.

Didn't it debut in London?

- Nailed it.

- Huh.

Actually, it was New York, winter '18.

Well, I heard there was a dress code, so I borrowed it from a friend.

Heard from who exactly?

Of course, I'm a big believer in the first amendment except when it comes to the shenanigans that go on behind the collective's closed doors.

Ha ha!

Evan baby, what are you doing to my girl here?

You b*at me here.

Ang, big night.

Patrons need their party favors.

Ahh.

And this one's yours?

Yeah.

I totally spaced on the heads up.

- It's fine.

- You're forgiven.

Any questions?

Pronouns?

He/him, they/them.

I go with the flow.

Now, you two, go forth and do crimes.

Ang, what are you doing here?

Saving your ass at the door.

You can't just slide into the DMm.

You need a referral.

What party favors was he talking about?

Ang, no.

What do you want me to say?

That you weren't lying through your teeth when you told me you'd puled your life together.

For your information, I'm clean.

4 months, but do you know what people need to pull their lives together?

Money.

If you get caught, distribution is 8-10 at blackgate.

Says the girl turning Batwoman's missing hardware into an etsy shop.

We know what I'm doing here.

What are you doing here?

Save it.

You are the only one here who's judging.

- Is this thing on?

- Loud and clear.

Want to try channel two?

No, not really.

Batwoman to Moore.

Copy.

You're late.

Thought maybe you got cold feet.

Believe it or not, I ran into an ex.

Oh.

Ok.

Well, I hope he's not gonna be drama.

She, and always.

Let you know when I find the painting.

Stand by.


Luke...

got the target.

Ok.

Great.

Give me a good look.

Ok.

Moving on to the next phase.

A lot of interest in this one.

Yeah.

It's kind of gimmicky, isn't it?

Oh, it's dreadful, zero technique, but, you know, celebrity artists.

Hmm.

Help me to understand the appeal in owning something like this.

Some of the people here...

total sickos.

- And you?

- I don't like being told what I can and can't do in life.

Whether it's the art I collect or the clothes I wear, I'm not desperate for anyone's approval.

Still throwing shade at my borrowed couture.

- Heh.

What can I say?

I just prefer to see everyone's true colors.

So I ran a spectral analysis to isolate the original canvas underneath the Gore.

I think it's a painting of ocean currents.

You were right.

The Joker splattered some poor guy all over a map to Coryana?

But we'll need to restore the canvas to locate the island.

But that means...

You're gonna need to steal it.

I didn't know Safiyah had family.

We weren't blood.

Apparently, we weren't anything.

Why does she want me dead?

Oh, no offense, but I have way too much drama in my life to care.

She's obviously losing her touch if she sent you.

I'm sorry.

Did you just call me a bad assassin?

Not to Monday morning quarterback, but you had ample opportunity to k*ll me.

You knew I was staying here, which means you could have k*lled me in my sleep, but maybe you don't know how to pick a lock.

Fine.

Surprise att*ck in the bar bathroom...

Easy, private.

At the very least, you can ambush me in my truck.

I have a backseat, and I don't lock my doors, but instead, you, what, make a scene at the bar, get my attention, indulge in smalltalk, get drunk.

Heh.

Safiyah must be desperate if she sent you.

I needed more answers before I could k*ll you.

I've never seen you before in my life.

Nor I you, which is why I needed to know more before I made ocean bleed the red sea.

How do you even know what Coryana looks like?

Because I was there 5 years ago.

That's impossible.

I was there 5 years ago.

- How peculiar.

- Hmm.

Well, I suppose you could k*ll me and then spend the rest of your life on the run, seeing as none of this changes the fact the island queen still wants you dead, or we could give her a jingle.

I'm good with option "A." Safiyah, we both know this isn't about a stupid flower.

And what do you think it's about?

Me having the one thing you can't.

What the hell was that?

Exactly.

Option "B" it is.

Ahem.

There should be a dispenser next to the sink with...

uh, you know, products.

I see it.

A lot of firepower in that room, so you're gonna have to move fast.

Batwoman, status check.

You find it?

Target identified.

I just need to take it for further analysis.

We'll monitor from here.

Uh...

Batwoman?

I think we have competition.

Who?

You ever heard of Wolf Spider?

sh**t him before he gets too high!

Miss...

Miss, this way, please.

No.

Ryan!

Hand it over.

- Hyah!

- Unh!

Ugh!

Damn.

Unh!

Ugh!

Ohh.

Painting's on the move.

Do you need medical?

Ugh.

Just slow him down.

I'll be there.

We're on it.

Nimble little bastard.

Little taser action will slow him down.

Damn it!

Get me closer.

I'm on it.

Aw.

Fricking cartridge is jammed!

Dude, what did you do?

He jumped in front of me.

Get some ties on him.

This isn't good.

Call for medical.

Status check.

Target acquired.

We got the painting.

- Let's go.

- What?

What are you doing?

We can't leave him here.

Moore wants the painting, not an excessive force headline.

Let's go.

Someone else will clean him up.

Evan?

Evan!

Evan, can you hear me?

We're gonna need a blood drive after this.

- He's gonna recover, right?

- Well, considering he was hip checked by a 4,800-pound hunk of toxic masculinity, he's doing great.

Distal femur fracture, dislocated elbow, minor concussion, but when the bone shattered, it nicked his femoral artery, so if you hadn't been there to bring him in in time, he would have bled out.

Ok.

What...

what happened back there?

You want to know what happened?

I listened to you over my gut, and now look.

I meant what happened to you?

You sounded like you were in rough shape.

- You called for backup.

- This isn't about me.

This is about us, this team and how I can't keep working for your approval.

I wanted to suit up and not think about you comparing me to Kate Kane for once, so I agreed to partner with the crows, and for what?

You sided with the guys who k*lled your old man.

Your taste sucks, but you know what?

I wear the suit, I take the b*ll*ts, so when I say I have a bad feeling about something, you two, listen!

Did her majesty say when she'd grace us with a callback?

Would you just sit there without talking?

I have spent more years of my life in captivity than any elephant in the Gotham zoo.

The key to surviving...

Keep yourself entertained.

Rough childhood?

You could say I come by my abandonment issues honestly, yeah.

How do you know Safiyah?

I was squatting on a yacht in Gotham harbor.

Safiyah's minions were pirating it while I was on board, and apparently, she was impressed by the fight I put up.

And she let you stay?

- Yeah.

- No way.

The island's cardinal rule is no outsiders.

Hmm.

Why don't I remember any of this?

That's the thing.

You should, and I should remember you.

The fact that we both have the same memories makes me think that Safiyah did something to... get us to forget.

You think Safiyah erased our memory?

Some of them.

The thing is we might never know.

Tell me you ordered delivery and those aren't 1, 2... 3 assassins approaching.

Hmm.

The many arms of death.

Oh.

More relatives of yours, I presume.

Yeah.

Can you, uh, cut me loose?

I can't trust you.

You don't trust me to defend myself from m*rder?

Where's ocean?

Hey.

Surprise.

Aah!

Hey.

Do you have any cash?

We should probably leave the maid a tip.

You're dark.

Shouldn't have doubted me.

Let's go.

You're driving.

Badges of the crows who did this.

That's not enough, burn it all down, girl, the whole thing.

I can't do that.

I believe in the mission of the crows.

An organization that decides what justice is based on who can pay the most money, that beats information out of its suspects, that runs someone over for stealing a painting?

That's what you believe in?

You think two men losing their jobs isn't enough?

You're right, but I'm fighting to change the culture.

Yeah?

Well, good luck with that, but if you want to party with me, add your badge to that little pile over there.

Until then, this partnership is over.

What about the painting?

Our forensics team is still working on it.

Don't you want to know where Coryana is?

We'll see who gets there first.

Mary Hamilton.

Heh heh.

Awkward.

Because I know you're wolf spider?

Because I'm pretty sure I'm naked.

Oh, very much so.

Evan, you need to find a better suit.

Spandex is no match for an oncoming SUV.

Mmm.

But it's so comfortable.

Then maybe find a safer excuse to play dress-up.

Gotham's elite take themselves too seriously.

Who else is gonna eye-roll them with as much style as me?

The crows got the painting.

I was stealing it for Kate.

Thought I had a better chance at grabbing it than the crows.

Hey.

Don't b*at yourself up about it because it turns out nobody actually got the Napier painting.

It was a forgery.

- That's impossible.

- No.

Batwoman took a sample of the organic compound that was painted over the original canvas, and it was pig's blood.

Napier would've never used pig's blood.

Right.

So the crows ended up with a decoy copy, and the original is still out there somewhere, and so is Kate.

♪ I see evil eyes ♪ ♪ Looking round ♪ ♪ Spirits in disguise ♪ ♪ Walking around ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ Look, don't touch ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ It's dangerous ♪ - ♪ Something wicked this way comes ♪ - Oh, my god.

♪ Something wicked this way comes ♪ ♪ Something wicked this way comes ♪ Once we get some distance from the many arms, we can try to figure out what Safiyah did to us and why.

Looks like you're not as fast as you think, buddy boy.

They got you pretty bad back there.

Hey.

You all right?

Uh... yeah.

Eyes on the road.

What's with you?

Nothing.

Can you check in the back real quick?

Is there a white tube back there?

Yeah.

What is this?

You ever hear of a guy called Jack Napier?

Greg, move your head!
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