01x02 - Showmance

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Glee". Aired May 2009 - March 2015.*
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A high school teacher tries to reinvent the Glee Club.
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01x02 - Showmance

Post by bunniefuu »

SCENE 1: Before High School- Parking - Will, Rachel, Finn, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Kurt and Puck.

Will, smiling in his car rotten. Then, he will sponsor the car park of school. Just down, Rachel falls upon him.

Rachel : Mr Schuester!

Will : Yea!

Rachel : I went to the library and I got some sheet music, and I wanted to run some songs by you that feature me heavily on lead vocal.

Will : Thanks, Rachel. But I already got one picked out.

Finn arriving and taking the bag to Rachel.

Finn : Let me help you with that.

Rachel : Thanks, Finn. You’re so chivalrous!

Finn : Thanks! That's a good thing, right?

Finn and Rachel spinning in high school.

Will : Morning, guys.

Artie, Mercedes and Tina arrived at the height of Will.

Mercedes : Hey, Mr. Shue. We're just learning some runs.

Will : Oh! Yeah.

Mercedes : So it goes, Ah!

Tina and Artie : Ah!

Will : With the finger, huh?

Mercedes : Pretty fly for a white guy.

Will, he went.

Will : Oh, thank you, thank you.Hey, don't be late for rehearsal this afternoon.

Mercedes : Okay!

Will: All right. Morning, Kurt.

Kurt, before the garbage, accompanied by the football team.

Puck : Buenos nachos, Mr. Shue.

Will : Hey! Let's go, Titans!

Puck : Yeah. Come on.

Puck and another footballer striking Kurt to throw in the trash, when suddenly exclaimed Kurt.

Kurt : Wait! One day you will all work for me.

Sneering, the footballer was thrown into the trash.

SCENE 2: In the corridors - Outside - Will, Emma, Santana and Quinn

Will passing in the corridor.

Will : It was very, very nice. Diana! All right?

Emma, hidden, waiting for Will. Suddenly, she falls down before him.

Emma : Oh, Will, oh. Oh!

Will : Oh!

Emma : Gosh. Hi.

Will : Hey, Emma.

Emma : Hi.

Will : Hey. Uh, I wanted to thank you so much for the advice you gave me the other day. I mean, teaching here and coaching Glee Club …. it's where I belong.

Emma : Oh, well, it's no problem. I mean, it's what I do. You know, I give counsel and give guidance. I'm a guidance counselor.

Will : Yeah, you are.

Emma : So ….. oh, look, we match, periwinkle.

Will : Yeah.

Santana and Quinn steps and the amount passing them.

Santana : Get a room.

Quinn : Mrs. Sylvester wants to see you in her office, Mr. Shue. She doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Will : You got it

SCENE 3: Sue’s Office - Will and Sue

Will, striking and entering the office of Sue who is behind the rower.

Will : Hey, Sue, you want to see me?

Sue : Hey, buddy. Come on in.

Sue, descends from his rowing.

Sue : I just blasted my hammies.

Will : Oh!

Sue : Iron tablet?

Will : Uh...

Sue throwing the bottle.

Sue : Keeps your strength up while you're menstruating.

Will : I don't menstruate.

Sue : Yeah? Neither do I.

Will : Hum!

Sue : So I had a little chat with Principal Figgins, and he said that if you're group doesn't place at Regionals, he's cutting the program. Ouch. Ouch.

Will : You know, you don't have to worry about Glee Club. We're going to be fine.

Sue, from his office to take a book.

Sue : Really? Cause I was at the local library, where I read Cheerleading Today aloud to blind geriatrics, and I came across this little page-turner. Show Choir Rule Book …. And it turns out, you need 12 kids to qualify for Regionals. Last time I looked, you only had five-and-a-half. Here. cr*pple in the wheelchair. I also took the liberty of highlighting some special ed classes for you ….. maybe you could find some recruits ….. because I'm not sure there's anybody else who's going to want to swim over to your Island of Misfit Toys.

Will : Are you threatening me, Sue? Threatening you?

Sue :Threatening you? Oh, no, no, no. Presenting you with an opportunity to compromise yourself? You betcha. Let's break it down. You want to be creative. You want to be in the spotlight. Face it, you want to be me.

Will laughter.

Sue : So, here's the deal: you do with your depressing little group of kids what I did with my wealthy, elderly mother: euthanize it. It's time. And then I'll be happy to offer you a job as my second assistant on Cheerios.You can fetch me Gatorade and launder my soiled delicates; it'll be very rewarding work for you.

Will : You know what, Sue? I politely decline your offer. Glee Club is here to stay. I believe in my kids. I know you're used to being the cock of the walk around here...

Sue : Offensive.

Will : ...but it looks like your Cheerios are going to have some competition. We're going to show at Regionals. You have my word on that.

Will he swung the book and Sue the overtaking.

Will : Have a good day.

Will you leave the room leaving Sue firecracker.

SCENE 4: In the corridors of the school - Finn, Quinn, Rachel and Puck

Quinn and Finn are arguing in front of their cashiers and Rachel listening.

Quinn : We are in line to be the most popular kids in this school over the next couple of years.

Finn : Yeah, I know.

Quinn : Prom king and queen, homecoming court royalty, I'm not giving up those shiny crowns just so you can "express yourself."

Finn : Look, you're making too big a deal out of this.

Quinn : Okay, let's compromise. If you quit the club, 'll let you touch my breast.

Finn : Under the shirt?

Quinn : Over the bra

Finn : No, no. I can't.

Quinn : Oh!

Finn : I want to do Glee. I … I'm really happy when I'm performing.

Quinn : People think you're gay now, Finn. And you know what that makes me? Your big gay beard.

Finn : Look, I … I ….I got to go to class, okay? Just relax. Everything's going to work out.

Finn walked away, while heading Rachel Quinn.

Quinn : Eavesdrop much? Time for some girl talk, man hands. You can dance with him, you can sing with him, but you will never have him.

Rachel : I understand why you'd be threatened. Finn and I have made a connection, but I'm an honorable person. I don't need to steal your man. I have plenty of suitors of my own. Every day Glee's status is going up and yours is going down …. deal with it.

Rachel is returning and receiving a glass of soda in his face. Quinn and the others are hilarious.

Puck : Holla.

SCENE 5: In the rehearsal room - Will and the casting (6) of Glee

Cast - Song: Freak

Students repeating the song under the orders of Will.

Will :Energy, guys. It's disco. Good with the hands…. John Travolta hands. All right. Let's go. And up and out and down and …. good. Good, good, guys.

The group stopped after the intervention of Mercedes on Rachel.

Mercedes : Whoa! Whoa! Stop! Hell to the nah. First of all, you try to bust my face again, and I will cut you. And also, this song is terrible.

Will : Okay, no, no, it's not the song. You guys just need to get into it.

Kurt : No, it's the song. It's really gay.

Artie : We need modern music, Mr. Shue.

Will : zzzz … I'm sorry, guys. We don't have time to discuss this. We're doing the song this Friday at the pep assembly.

Tina : In f….front of the whole school?

Will : Exactly!

Kurt : They're gonna throw fruit at us. And I just had a facial.

Rachel : I'll press charges if that happens.

Will : Guys, I can't express to you how important this assembly is. We need recruits. There're six of you. We need 12 to qualify for Regionals. We have no choice or... the club is over. I know you guys don't like this song, but we took Nationals back in '93 with "Freak Out." It's a crowd-pleaser. Trust me. From the top.

Finn : I'm dead.

The cast includes repetition.

SCENE 6: Tour of Homes - Will, Terri and Estate Agent

In a model home, Will and his wife were sitting in a sofa facing the real estate agent.

Thought Will : «My father always said you become a man when you buy your first house. I'm not sure what he meant by that, since he b*rned ours down once after a drunken fight with Mom. »

Agent : Welcome to your little slice of the American dream. Hum!

Terri : I have a question about the trees. It's always been my personal dream to cut down my own Christmas tree. How many Christmas trees will we have in the backyard? And do they come in different colors? Because, well …obviously, we're expecting a family, and I have a real sense that it might be a girl…..

Meanwhile, Will in his thoughts. As Terri continued his speech.

Thought Will : «Still, I can't believe we're actually doing this. It all happened so fast … »

SCENE 7: Will's apartment - Dining room - Will, Terri, Kendra, Phil and triplets

The two couples are at the table while the children play and shout loudly in the apartment.

Triplets : Aaaahhh!

Thought Will : « It all started when Terri's sister Kendra brought her kids over for Sunday brunch.»

Kendra : Well, I just don't understand where you're planning on putting the nursery.

Terri : I know.

Will : We have a second bedroom.

Kendra : You are not giving up your craft room, Terri. A mother needs her respite. That craft room is the only thing that's going to keep you from going all Susan Smith on that little angel.

Terri : Euh!

Kendra : Postpartum runs in our family.

Terri : Oh! Please. Stop!

Phil, at that time, rising from the table but Kendra catching it.

Kendra : Where are you going?

Phil : Bathroom. All that bran.

Kendra : No, you can't. Kyle needs his inhaler.

Phil, sitting down again under the gaze of the other two, while Will starts screaming to play with the triplets.

Will : Arrrg!

Kendra : Anyway, this conversation is over. They're starting construction on a new section of our subdivision.

Terri : Ah! You heard.

Kendra : You are not bringing my niece or nephew home to this apartment. When pigs fly.

Terri and Kendra laughing.

Phil : Can I eat this?

Phil, pointing to a food, while Will leaving his meal, annoyed.

SCENE 8: Tour of Homes - Will, Terri and Estate Agent

Will, Terri and the officer visiting the house from room to room. Terri is on a cloud.

Agent : This banister was made by Ecuadorian children.

Terri : Oh!

Will : It's great, Terri, but there are nine foreclosures on our street. Why can't we buy one of those? They're half the price.

Terri : I am not raising our baby in a used house. They're not clean. Oh. Look at this sun nook. Isn't it beautiful?

Will : Is it extra?

Agent : Hum! The price in the brochure is for the basic model …. everything else is ?la carte The grand foyer is an extra $14,000, and the sun nook is an extra 24.

Will sighed.

Agent : Hum! I'll let you two talk.

Terri : Hum! Thank you.

Will : Thank you.

The real estate agent left the room to let the couple thought.

Terri : Oh!

Will : We can't afford this.

Terri : We already did the math, Will. All we have to do is give up Applebee's, and we won't run the AC for the first couple of summers.

Will : Well, we certainly can't afford the grand foyer, and the sun nook. I mean, if we bite off more than we can chew we'll lose everything.

Terri : Hum!

Will : You need to pick one.

Terri : Hum! Come with me. I'm going to show you something really special.

Children's room - Terri and Will raptures.

Terri : This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep. I thought maybe we could put one of those mini-pianos in here, and you two could put on shows for me.

Will : I love it, Terri. But we still can't afford everything.

Terri : Hem! It's my very own Sophie's Choice. Fine. I'm going to give up the sun nook for the grand foyer. But I really need the polished door handles. Think of our family, Will. This is our dream.

Thought Will : «I knew in that moment that I would do whatever it took, even if it meant getting a part-time job to make some extra money, to make that dream come true.»

Will : Let's go sign those papers.

Terri : Yes!

Will and Terri left the room to join the real estate agent.

SCENE 9: In the rehearsal room - Casting and Will

Everyone is installed in the hall waiting for Will.

Kurt : You need to call me before you dress yourself.

Mercedes : Whatever, whatever.

Kurt : You look like a Technicolor zebra.

Mercedes : You're a hater. And I look like I'm a partier. That's what you are,

Finn put his shoelace.

Finn : Le Freak ….

Mercedes : … a hater. You're trying to copy me. It looks like

Kurt : I planned it. You know what?

Finn : …. It’s chic!

Mercedes : If you're hair was longer you'd have curls.

Will entering the room.

Will : All right, guys. How about a little Kanye?

Will, seeking copies of the song.

Tina : Oh!

Artie : Yes.

Mercedes : For the assembly?

Will : No.

Mercedes : Zzzz….

Will : We won't be ready in time. We're still doing disco. But we can fold this into our repertoire, and it'll be awesome at Regionals. Communication is the foundation of any successful music group. If we're going to succeed we need to communicate. You guys said you wanted modern music, I listened.

Artie : Mr. Shue, we'd really like to not do disco at that assembly.

Will, not listening.

Will : Euh! Finn, you're going to take the solo.

Finn : What? No, I…I can't do the solo, Mr. Shue. I'm still learning... learning how to walk and sing at the same time.

Kurt and Mercedes giggling.

Will : No problem. I'll walk you through it.

Cast : Ooh!

Mercedes : Challenge.

Will : Mercedes, you know this?

Mercedes : Oh, I got this.

Cast and Will - Song: Gold Digger

Mercedes began to sing, followed by Will, who is trying to show them how to move on this song.

Will : Whou!

During the song, we also see some pictures showing Terri and her sister in their future home with angels.

The Cast and Will bite out laughing at the end of the song.

Tina : That was fun.

Will : All right, just like that. Ready?

SCENE 10 : In the girls' restroom - Emma and Rachel

Emma leave the bathroom, going to disinfect hands when she heard someone vomiting.

Emma : Rachel, did you just throw up?

Rachel : No.

Emma : You missed the toilet.

Rachel : The girl who was throwing up before me left that. I tried, but I guess I just don't have a gag reflex.

Emma : One day when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift. Let's have a little chat, okay?

In the office of Emma.

Emma and Rachel, sitting face to face, Emma, handing him a brochure.

Thought Rachel : «You like to vomit.»

While leafing through the prospectus Rachel, Emma Will greet tenderly outside.

Emma : Hum! Hum! Rachel, bulimia is a very messy, serious disease.

Rachel : I don't have bulimia. I tried it and failed, and won't ever attempt it again.

Emma : Okay.

Rachel : It grossed me out.

Emma : Okay, but I still want to talk about the feelings that you had that led up to you wanting to puke your guts out.

Rachel : I want to be thinner. And prettier like that Quinn girl.

Emma : Mm …. hmm, and, um, why is that?

Rachel : Have you ever liked somebody so much, you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?

Will’s Emma fixing.

Emma : No!

Flashback

Emma, alone in his car in the rain, listening to the radio "All by Myself" in tears and singing like a saucepan.

Back to reality.

Emma : Uh, but a boy crush, huh? I know about that. I mean, not now. It takes me back in the day. Like, a long time ago I knew about that. You know what? You need to remember, Rachel, to protect your heart. I don't care who he is. If he doesn't like you for the way you are, or if he's... you know, he's married with a baby on the way, with a baby on the way, that's not worth the heartache. with a baby on the way, You don't want to compromise... yourself... for that. Um...

Emma, after setting intensely Will postpones his attention to Rachel.

Emma : Have you just tried telling him how you feel?

Rachel : He doesn't even notice me.

Emma : I see. Um, okay, well, here's what I think. Common interests are the key to romance. All ght? So find out what he likes. Then he'll see you in a positive way, and maybe you'll end up doing something unexpected.

Rachel, gradually began to smile.

SCENE 11: In the principal's office - Rachel, Finn, Principal Figgins, Sue and Will

Rachel and Finn, sitting face to the headmaster who is pissed and Sue. While Will is disappointed.

Sue : Would you like to tell Principal Figgins and Mr. Schuester what I caught you two doing?

Finn : It just sort of happened.

Rachel : I don't mean to be rude, but I think she's overreacting.

Sue : You watch your tone, young lady. Gay parents encourage rebellion. There are studies on this.

Will : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, tell me what happened, Rachel.

Rachel : Finn was worried about having to perform a solo at the pep assembly in front of his chromosomally-challenged friends. I was immediately concerned by his lack of self-esteem and made a creative preemptive strike.

Finn : Yeah, pretty much what she said.

Flashback

A few hours rather, Finn and Rachel talking in practical work on the solo.

Rachel : You know, one of the amazing things about being in the performing arts is that you can parlay it into so many different fields. Like Justin Timberlake. He's a singer, but he also has a clothing line. And you know, he makes things like shirts and belts.

Finn : Who is Justin Timberlake?

Room Cheerleaders.

Thought Rachel : «It was a two-fold plan. We figured that with the right marketing strategy, we could pull from the entire student body without having an assembly, thus creating the diverse Glee Club this school has been craving.»

Finn and Rachel, making photocopies, while Sue incoming whistling. When, suddenly, she caught in flagrante delicto. At the time of anger, she threw her glass down.

Back to the principal's office.

Sue : That copy machine is for Cheerios use only. Paid for by alumni donations. I can't begin to fathom the damage you'd have done to the program had you broken it.

Will : Hold on a second, Sue.

Sue : I resent being told to hold on to anything, William. I will not be treated like a second-class citizen because of my gender. There is a very clear bureaucracy when it comes to photocopies, and you seem to think that these procedures don't apply to your students.

Will more and more exasperated.

Sue :It is my strong recommendation that both these students be hobbled.

Will : How many copies did you guys make?

Sue : 17.

Will : Okay! And how much does a photocopy cost?

Figgins : Four-and-a-half cents.

Will : How about they just pay for the copies?

Figgins : I like this compromise. Children, pay Ms. Sylvester, and we'll let you off with a warning. And Sue, I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you And Sue, I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you protein shake off the photocopy room floor.

Sue : That's why we have janitors.

Figgins : Sue, we're in a recession, and concessions must be made. I've laid off half the janitorial staff. We all need to lend a hand.

Finn : Hum! Hum!

All the people welcomes the speech except Sue.

Sue : Lady Justice wept today.

Sue, angry, intensely fixing Finn and Rachel.

SCENE 12: In the corridors- Finn, Rachel and Will

Will, furious, leaves followed by Finn and Rachel.

Finn : I'm sorry about that, Mr. Shue.

Rachel : I'd like to get the flyers up before lunch tomorrow.

Will be back, annoyed.

Will : You know what, guys? I don't want to hear it.

Rachel : Doing that song is going to k*ll any chance the Glee Club has. It's a terrible idea.

Will : I have news for you, Rachel. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. We're doing the assembly, and you're not putting up those flyers.

Will, going hopping mad.

Will : Everybody loves disco!

Finn : It's official. I'm a dead man.

Rachel : Look, I know you're nervous, but you're really, really talented.

Finn laughed.

Finn : Hum! Hum! …. Stop it.

Rachel : I mean, maybe it'll all be okay. Do you want to practice for the assembly tomorrow after school?

Finn : I can't. I got a Celibacy Club meeting.

Finn, thus leaving only Rachel but happy.

SCENE 13: Will's apartment - Bathroom - Will and Terri

Will and Terri together in the tub talking.

Will : Baby, I have some bad news.

Terri : A wealthy relative d*ed?

Will : I don't have any wealthy relatives.

Terri : Oh!

Will : I've just been pounding the pavement all week after Glee rehearsal. I... I can't find any extra work. That probably means no grand foyer. Zzzz…

Terri : Why can't we ever be the ones to catch a break?

Will : No, no. It's going to be okay, baby. I mean, we don't need a grand foyer to be happy...

Terri : No. You know what? I'm so tired of the compromising. I want my grand foyer, I want my dream house. I work hard, I sacrifice, I deserve it.

Terri out of the water, angry.

Terri : You know, we give and we give. Do you think that the big sh*ts at Sheets N' Things care that I sell more personal massagers than any other assistant manager? No. Or do you think that those kids…. that they give a damn that we go with so little because you spend all your spare time choreographing those stupid dance routines? I mean, when does anyone start giving back?

Terri, on the edge of tears, leaving the bathroom, leaving Will alone and depressed.

Will : Zzzz…

Will, diving under water to recharge.

SCENE 14: In the room Cheerleaders - Will and Figgins

Will, passing the room when he saw the main knees trying to remove the task of drinking Sue. Will talk to him entering.

Will : I thought you asked Sue to clean up after herself.

Figgins : Sue got a note from the school nurse claiming that her lupus made it impossible to bend over a bucket of suds. I've been here till 10:00 p.m. every night up to my elbows in Vamoose.

Will : Any problem with me taking over one of those nighttime janitorial slots?

Figgins : Hum!

Will : I'll work at half salary.

Figgins smiling.

SCENE 15: Classroom - Celibacy Club - Girls - Quinn and Rachel

All girls, Club members gathered around a table to discuss.

Quinn : The Celibacy Club is now in session. Thanks to a school rule that says we have to let anyone join the club, we're welcoming a new member this week. Rachel Whatshername.

Rachel : Where are all the boys?

Quinn : Down the hall. First half hour, we separate. Then we come together to share our faith.

SCENE 16: Classroom - Celibacy Club - Boys - Puck, Jacob and Finn

The boys as girls except that here looks a little more relaxed.

Thought Finn : «I'm still on the fence about the Celibacy Club. I mean, I only joined to get into Quinn Fabray's pants. Still, it is a productive way for us guys to get together and talk about sexual issues.»

Jacob : I think I'm going to k*ll myself. I'm serious. We're bombarded with sexual imagery every day. Beer ads, those short skirts. I'm supposed to be surrounded by temptation, not be able to do anything about it?

Puck : Are you kidding? Those skirts are crunchy toast. Santana Lopez bent over in hers the other day, and I swear I could see her ovaries.

SCENE 17: Classroom - Celibacy Club - Girls - Quinn and group except Rachel

A young cheerleaders twirling her skirt in front of these friends.

Quinn : God bless the perv that invented these. Remember the power motto, girls.

Group : It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing. Oh! Back it up like a dump truck, baby.

The girls dance and laugh except Rachel, who is bored.

SCENE 18: Classroom - Celibacy Club - Boys - Amir, Finn, Mme Carole Hudson and Jacob

The boys, still in their very philosophical discussion about sex and girls.

Amir : So, how far does Quinn let you get anyway?

Finn : We grind, make out.

Jacob : But how do you keep from... arriving early? Whenever I grind, Cinco de Mayo.

Puck and Finn laughing.

Finn : It's not a problem for me, man.

Puck and Finn slapping each other laughing.

Thought Finn : «Actually, it's a big problem. Somebody once told me that to keep from erupting too early, you should think of dead kittens and stuff. But the only image that works for me happened the day my mom took me out to practice for my driver's permit.»

Flash Back.

Finn and his mother are in a car. Finn, tense, was driving under the orders of his mother who is transient.

Mme Carole Hudson : Pretty good, honey. Who says a father figure's necessary, huh?

Finn and his Mom laughing

Finn : Driving's fun. Yeah.

Suddenly, Finn reversing the factor that was crossing the road.

Mme Carole Hudson : Oh, my God! Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my God, you k*lled him.

Thought Finn : « What are you gonna do? »

Finn, completely terrified, in the car while his mother continued to scream.

Back to reality.

SCENE 19: Classroom - Celibacy Club - Girls and Boys- Quinn, Rachel, Finn, Jacob, Puck and Santana

Girls and boys club met in the same room for this court. Quinn, inflating balloons for each couple.

Quinn : Let's pair up for the Immaculate Affection. Now, remember, if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry.

Quinn begins with Finn, smiling. While Puck is with Santana. While Rachel, depressed, ends up with Jacob.

Jacob : You enchant me.

Puck : Yeah.

Santana : Stop it! Ah!

Puck : Take it. Ah, yeah!

Suddenly, the balloon bursts between Quinn and Finn.

Finn : Oh!

Quinn : Finn.

Finn : It must have hit my zipper.

Rachel : You know what? This is a joke. Did you know that most studies have demonstrated that celibacy doesn't work in high schools? Our hormones are driving us too crazy to abstain. The second we start telling ourselves that there's no room for compromise, we act out. The only way to deal with teen sexuality is to be prepared. That's what contraception is for.

Quinn : Don't you dare mention the "C" word.

Rachel : You want to know a dirty little secret that none of them want you to know? Girls want sex just as much as guys do.

Rachel released, leaving the room.

Jacob : Is ….is that accurate?


SCENE 20: Classroom- Night - Will and Emma

Will, scratching under a desk chewing gum. While Emma, sees, between seeing.

Emma : Will?

Will : Aah... aah.

Will banged against the desk.

Will : Emma... what are you doing here so late?

Emma : I do SAT prep on Tuesday nights. Are you, um, are you a janitor?

Will : A ja-- no.

Emma : Really? 'Cause you're dressed like a janitor and your shirt says "Will."

Will : Um... Terri and I are trying to buy a house, and we're, you know, struggling to make ends meet, and... I'm really embarrassed. Would you mind keeping this between us? Yeah.

Emma : Oh, yeah, your secret's completely safe with me.

Will : Thank you.

Emma : Do you, um...Do you want a hand?

Will : Oh, no. I …. I'm good, really.

Emma : Really, because, um, I can see from here that you've used window cleaner to mop the floor. And, uh, that keyboard is crawling in E coli, because I know for a fact Ms. Hoffmeyer doesn't wash her hands after doing number twos.

Will was completely surprised. Together, they clean.

Emma : I really admire you working so hard for something you want.

Will : Let's make a deal. You're helping me with my problem, how about I take a s*ab at one of yours?

Emma : Oh, no, I don't, I don't have a problem.

Will : You've been scrubbing that pencil sharpener for an hour.

Emma : Well, I mean, I have, I have a little trouble with messes, but it's not like it's a... problem.

Emma, leaving the pencil sharpener, to talk to Will.

Emma : Okay. When I was a little girl, it was my dream to work on a dairy farm.

Will : Really?

Emma : Um, when I was eight, we finally visited one, and after the tour and the yogurt tasting, my, my brother pushed me into the runoff lagoon.

Will : What?

Emma : And, um, ever since then I've just... I've had a little trouble forgetting the, uh, the smell.

Will : Have you thought about, I don't know, maybe seeing someone about that?

Emma : Oh, no, it's completely manageable. You know, I just try to take lots of showers and I, um, you know, I don't eat dairy.

Will, rising and going to the table.

Will : So... I want to try...a little experiment.

Will be putting chalk on his finger and going up to Emma.

Emma : Oh, no. No, I'm not really, um, comfortable with, with... that.

Will his putting chalk on the nose. At this time, Emma was silent and they bind intensely. Then Will he carefully removed the chalk on his nose with his arm.

Will : There. …Ten seconds.

Emma : New record. It's late. I should, um... I should be, um... going.

Emma walked away, leaving Will, considerably excited and perplexed. While Ken, the saw the other side of the glass.

SCENE 21: In the auditorium - Casting ( 6)

Rachel stood, tapping on the desk, talking to others.

Rachel : I officially call this meeting of Glee Club in session.

Artie : But Mr. Schuester isn't here.

Rachel : Mr. Schuester isn't coming. I paid a freshman to ask him for help with irregular verbs.

Mercedes : Zzzz … I'm so sick of hearing you squawk, Eva Peron.

Finn : Let her talk.

Rachel : I have another idea for the assembly.

Artie : Can I, once again, stress my most strenuous objections to this attempted su1c1de? They're not going to k*ll us.

Rachel : Because we're going to give them what they want.

Kurt : Blood?

Rachel : Better. Sex.

SCENE 22: In the gym - All high school and teachers.

Figgins front of the school, introducing the show. While Will is sitting behind waiting his turn.

Figgins the micro : Silence, children. Silence. First, an announcement. The toilets are broken again. We are fixing the problem, but let me warn you. There will be zero tolerance for anyone soiling school grounds. We're not going to have a repeat of last time. We have a treat for you guys today. Mr. Schuester.

Emma ( Public) : Yay, Glee! Glee kids, hooray!

While Emma Sue observes an ironic eye. Will space be at the microphone.

Will the micro : Hi. Uh, when I went to school here, Glee Club ruled this place. And we're on our way back.

Sue chuckling.

Will the micro : But we need some recruits to join the party. Now, I could tell you all about how great Glee is, but, uh, I think I'm going to let some friends of mine show you instead.

The curtain rises on the Cast who portrays. They begin to sing and dance in front of others in awe.

Cast - Song: Push It

Will is surprised because this is not the right song. While others are visibly pleased except Quinn, who is disgusted as Sue. While Figgins and Emma are thrilled.

End of the song.

Jacob : Yes!

Whole school cheered.

SCENE 23: In the principal's office - Sue, Will and Figgins

Will and Sue, sat facing the headmaster. Will is saddened when Sue, it is likely angry happy May.

Sue : Let me be the one to break the silence. That was the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching. And that includes an elementary school production of Hair.

Figgins : We received angry e-mails from a number of concerned parents, many of whom thought that their children were going to hear a Special Olympian speak about overcoming adversity.

Will : I... I really don't know what to say.

Sue : Well, let me help you out, then. My first thought was that your students should be put into foster care.

Will : Hum! ….

Sue : But you're the one who should be punished. I demand your resignation from this school, as well as the disbanding of Glee Club.

Figgins : Now, hold on, Sue. The issue is content. Those kids are talented. And I have not seen the student body this excited since Tiffany performed at the North Hills Mall.

Figgins seeking a sheet to Will.

Figgins : I took the liberty of calling my pastor to provide a list of family-friendly songs that reflect our community's values. Your kids can only perform these preapproved musical selections.

Will : But all these songs have either "Jesus" or "balloons" in the title.

Figgins : But they're also songs about the circus. This egg is sunny-side up, Will.

Will perplexed and disappointed.

Figgins : You need new outfits. I got several flashes of panty from your group today, and I'm not talking about the girls. So, Sue, I'm cutting your dry-cleaning budget to pay for new costumes for the Glee Club.

Sue : This will not stand.

Figgins : Oh, Sue. The dry-cleaners here are just as good as the ones in Europe.

Sue, angry at Figgins to Will when he is weary of the situation.

SCENE 24: In the corridors - Will and Rachel

Sue, leaving the principal's office, angry, stopping at Rachel to throw him a black look. As for Rachel, she rushes about Will.

Rachel : Mr. Schuester, I'm so sorry.

Will : Do you understand what you did today? You lied to me. And you ruined our chances. No parent in their right mind is going to let their kid join Glee now. Oh, and, uh, here's a list of the songs that we're allowed to sing.

Rachel : What's a "luftballoon"?

Will : Look, I know how much you care about Glee Club. And I understand why you did what you did. But I don't like the way you did it.

Will, leaving Rachel alone is saddened by what she did.

SCENE 25: Rest room - Emma and Ken

Emma at dinner, lunch on cleaning each grape before swallowing. Ken arrived, handing her two tickets.

Ken : They're for Tulip-A-Looza. It's a tulip festival down at the Columbus Convention Center. It's supposed to smell pretty nice.

Emma : That's really sweet of you, Ken, but I have a... asthma.

Ken : What are you doing? Chasing a married guy. I saw you playing house with him after hours, Emma. Look. I don't know a lot about relationships. Most of mine are short and flame out once the sex goes, but I do know you never want to be the rebounder. I'm a good man, Emma. I'll treat you right. I'll put up with all your crazy. They can't fire me 'cause I'm a minority, so I'll always be able to provide for you. You could do a lot worse, and in this town, you're not going to do much better. Okay, I'm done talking now.

Emma, in shock, remains silent. As for Ken, he goes.

SCENE 26: In the auditorium - Rachel, Finn and Mme Carole Hudson

Rachel, piano, rehearsed Finn.

Rachel : Try it.

Finn : La.

Rachel : Good.

Finn : That was good.

Rachel : Okay, one more up.

Finn : La.

Rachel : That was really good.

Finn : Is that okay?

Rachel : Yeah, it's like the Holy Grail for a baritenor, so it's a good note. All right, I'll start at the bottom, and then we'll go up higher.

Finn : Can we take a break?Singing kind of makes me a little hungry.

Rachel : Yeah, sure. Well, lucky I prepared for that.

Rachel, pointing to the picnic on the stage before an astonished Finn.

Finn : Wow, I was wondering what that was all about.

Rachel : Want to sit?

Finn : Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Rachel : I was wondering why you asked me to help you with your singing. You kicked butt at the assembly.

Finn and Rachel settling on the cover.

Finn : Well, this is...my only chance to be, you know, good like you.

Rachel : You think I'm good?

Finn : Well, when I first joined, I thought you were kind of insane. I mean, you talk a lot more than you should, and to be honest with you, I looked under the bed and made sure that you weren't hanging out under there. But then, I heard you sing. I don't know how to say this, but you touched something in me. Right here.

Finn pointing to his heart to the wrong place.

Rachel : Your heart's on the other side of your chest.

Rachel, placing his hand on hers to her heart. Finn smiled.

Finn : Oh. It's b*ating really hard. You're cool, Rachel.

Finn and Rachel fixing, when Rachel withdrew her hand.

Rachel : Do you want a drink?

Finn : Yeah.

Rachel : Virgin Cosmos.

Rachel handing him a glass.

Finn : Cool. That stuff you said at the Celibacy Club, that was really cool.

Rachel : Thanks. Well... Cheers.

Rachel and Finn clink together.

Finn : Cheers. The cups are like the airplane cups.

Rachel : Hun!

Finn : Oh, you got a little cosmo right...

Finn placing his fingers on the lips of Rachel.

Finn : ….here.

Rachel : You know, you can kiss me if you want to.

Finn : I want to.

The stretching on the pillows, Rachel Finn tender kiss. Then Finn reacts oddly to want this.

Rachel : What?

Flash Back.

Finn reviews secularizing with his mother.

Mme Carole Hudson : Oh, my God! What are you gonna do?

Back to reality.

Finn is falling precipitously

Rachel : Did I do something wrong?

Finn : No, no. Um... I just got to go. Look, please don't tell anybody about this, okay?

Finn went away quickly, leaving Rachel alone and surprised and even saddened by his sudden departure.

SCENE 27: Gynecologist - Terri and Dr Wu

Terri lying on the table for consultation with Dr. Wu that he will make her first ultrasound.

Terri : I don't want my baby to grow an extra arm just because I live in squalor and I'm so stressed. So, I want you to run any and all tests you have.

Dr Wu : Trust me, you're clear.

Terri : Are you sure?

Dr Wu : Positive.

Terri : Is it a boy or a girl?

Dr Wu : Um... I don't quite know how to put this There's no baby.

Terri is falling precipitously.

Terri : Did it fall out?

Dr. Wu laughter.

Dr Wu : Uh, no. Um...You're not pregnant.

Terri : But I've gained ten pounds.

Dr Wu : It's probably from eating. I can see a chicken wing in there that you must have swallowed whole.

Terri : Oh!

Dr Wu : You're having what's called a hysterical pregnancy. You want a baby so badly that your body mimics the symptoms.

Terri : Oh!

Dr Wu : If you're meant to get pregnant, it'll happen.

Terri, stunned, falls back on the table.

SCENE 28: In the rehearsal room - Will, Quinn and Santana

Will, sitting beside the piano, cheerleading auditioning three.

Will : I have to say, I'm a little surprised you guys are trying in on it.

Quinn : I'm sure you've read about this in the school paper. Finn and I have been an item for a while now, so what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't support him?

Santana : Hum!

Will : Well, let's see what you've got.

Will, triggering the CD. While the girls sing and dance very well before a Will amazed and delighted.

3 Cheerleaders - Song: Say A Little Prayer

SCENE 29 : Sue’s Office - Sue and Quinn

Sue, seated facing the three cheerleaders.

Sue : Let me get this straight. You're joining Glee Club?

Quinn : I'm sorry, Coach Sylvester, but something is going on between Finn and that thing. You saw how it was undressing him with its eyes.

Sue : Please don't kick us off the Cheerios. Cease fire on the waterworks. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see it. You know, Q, when I first laid eyes on you, I was reminded of a young Sue Sylvester, though you don't have my bone structure. But it wasn't until this very moment, I saw how alike we really are. You three are going to be my spies. I need eyes on the inside. We're going to bring this club down from within.

Brittany and Santana slapping each other's hands. While Quinn smiled.

Quinn : And I'm going to get my boyfriend back.

Sue : I don't care so much about that.

SCENE 30: In the corridors - Will and Emma

Ringtone Deals. Emma cleaning a tap for drinking, while Will the docks.

Will : Hey, Emma. Guess what? I found these new disinfecting bleach wipes. What do you say? Boys bathroom in the science wing? 9:00?

Emma : Will, what are we doing? I mean, you're having a baby. Um, and anyway, uh... I have a date.

Will : Oh, that's great.

Emma : Yeah.

Will : Yeah, but, with who?

Emma : I'm going to go to Tulip-A-Looza. With Ken.

Will, disappointed, leaving Emma to leave his side.

SCENE 31: Will's apartment - Terri and Will

Will, arriving late at night, tired from his day job after two. While waiting for Terri to a romantic dinner.

Terri : There's my man. Bringing home the bacon.

Will : You... you made dinner. I thought you'd be asleep.

Terri : Well, I wanted to talk to you about something, so I made you chicken pot pie. From scratch.

Will : Terri, that's so thoughtful. I...

Settling both at the table.

Will : Yeah, you know, I've been working so hard lately, some ….Sometimes I forget what I'm doing it for. Family's what's important to me. You and the little guy or gal on the way. I hope you know that.

Terri : Yeah.

Will : I'm sorry. What was it you wanted to talk about?

Terri : I went to the baby doctor today.

Will : And?

Terri : And... It's a boy.

Will, rising to shake his wife in his arms.

Will : Oh, my God. Terri, that's amazing. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh!

Terri : I want you to give up being a janitor.

Will : What?

Terri : Yeah. We don't need a new house. We'll turn my craft room into a nursery. It's a compromise that I want to make.

Will : Really?

Terri : Yeah. You know the only project that I want to work on now...is us.

Will surprised but happy, tenderly kisses his wife.

Will : I love you so much.

Will’s Terri tightening in these arms more and more embarrassed for her lie.

SCENE 32: In the auditorium - Will and Rachel

Will and Rachel talking music.

Rachel : You're giving Quinn Fabray the solo? That's my solo.

Will : You made this happen, Rachel. You were the one who wanted to sell sex at the assembly. Quinn's audition song was on Figgins's approved list, and frankly, she did a heck of a job singing it.

Rachel : You're punishing me.

Will : Contrary to your beliefs, it's not all about you. Or, I've realized, about me. Look, I screwed up, too. I'm as responsible for what you did at that assembly as you are. I should never have pushed disco so hard. When we did it back in '93, the disco revival was in its heyday. It was cool. We had fun. And that... that is what Glee is supposed to be about. If we're going to succeed, we both need to change our mindsets. You're not always going to be the star. But I promise to do my best to make sure you're always having fun. This is a good thing, Rachel. We're on our way..

Will starting to leave.

Rachel : Can I use the auditorium later to practe? Our neighbors are filing a lawsuit.

Will : Sure.

Rachel - Song: Take a Bow

Rachel, alone and sad, singing in choir in the auditorium accompanied by Tina and Mercedes. She remembers her wishes to become a great singer facing his ice bath and out with Finn. Although he only has eyes for Quinn.
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