01x03 - Acafellas

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Glee". Aired May 2009 - March 2015.*
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A high school teacher tries to reinvent the Glee Club.
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01x03 - Acafellas

Post by bunniefuu »

SCENE 1 : In the apartment of Will - Terri, Will and parents of Will

Will and Terri to dinner Will's parents.

Mrs Schuester : When did you start cooking,Terri?

Terri : Oh, it's just hamburger casserole. Look out for bones.

Will : I'm sorry. I, um... (Laughing.) I can't hold it in any longer. Um...

Will rising with his glass

Will : Mom, dad. Terri's pregnant.

Terri : Will.

Mrs Schuester : What?

Will : It's a boy.

Mrs Schuester : Oh! Our first grandbaby!

Will's mother hugged him while his father kisses Terri.

Mr Schuester : Oh, that's fantastic.

Terri : Thank you, yeah. sweetheart. honey?

Will : Yeah?

Terri : ... I thought we weren't going to tell anybody yet.

Mr Schuester : Oh your secret is safe with me. I spent six months In the Hanoi Hilton, never said a word. Am I right, doodle?

Mrs Schuester : That's right, honey.

Everyone smiled.

Terri : Oh! Yeah, we're going to turn the craft room into the nursery.

Mrs Schuester : Oh! Show me!

Terri : Okay.

The two women left the room while the men toast.

Mr Schuester : I'm really happy for you, son.

Will : Tell you the truth, i'm terrified. I don't know how to do this.

Mr Schuester : No one does. Look at me. I was a mess. I worked all the time, traveling. I was too strict.

Will : Okay, you're not instilling With a great deal of confidence here, dad. (Sighs) I mean, i'm already up all night thinking about this.

Mr Schuester : That's my fault! ...The confidence thing. Boys learn that ...

Will : No.

Mr Schuester : ....from their fathers. I started at zuckerman and zuckerman in college. I needed some extra cash. I was saving up...for law school. But i never went. I never even applied. Didn't have the balls. So, I settled for insurance. I mean, who was I to become a lawyer?

Will : You would have been a great one.

Mr Schuester : You're the smartes guy i know. It's not about brains, son. Being a good father... hell, being a man. Is all about one thing: Guts. And you've got about six months to figure out if you have any.

Will ponder the words of his father.

SCENE 2 : Repetition's room - Will and Glee Club

Will repeat doing choreography at the Club.

Will : 5,6 ... 7 and 8.... step and step. Step and step. And turn it around. Down and up. And hit, hit... down... hit...

Rachel stopping.

Rachel : Can we stop, please?

Will : You don't have to ask me every time for permission to go To the bathroom, rachel. you can just go.

Rachel : It's not my bladder. It's the choreography.

Will be back to fix it.

Will : Okay, what's wrong with the choreography?

[Flash back]

A few hours earlier, Quinn and Santana steins Rachel in the hallways of the school to talk about choreography.

Quinn : It sucks.

Santana : It's completely unoriginal.

Rachel : Are you guys going to get shunned for talking to me?

Quinn : Sweetie, we're a team now. But you've got to do something about Mr Shue's dance routines.

[Back to reality]

Rachel still set Will .

Rachel : We can't compete with vocal adrenaline with these steps. You're a great vocal coach, mr. shue, But you're not a... a trained choreographer. That's what we need to be the best. We need Dakota Stanley.

[Flash back]

A few hours earlier, Rachel always stuck with Quinn and Santana.

Quinn : He's the best show choir choreographer in the midwest. We Works with vocal adrenaline. You can't take regionals without him. He was the understudy to the candelabra in « Beauty and the Beast » on Broadway

[Back to reality]

Will : Just because he understudied doesn't mean he ever performed.

Quinn : Did you ever perform, Mr. Schuester? After high school. did you even try?

SCENE 3 : Emma's Office- Will and Emma

Will pacing in the office of Emma while she cleans his plant.

Will : I wanted to. that was my dream, you know? I ... I just never had...

Emma : The guts? They say it takes more certainty than talent to be a star. I mean, look at, um... Look at john stamos.

Will : I don't know.

Will sitting.

Will : I guess I'm also just nervous about being a dad. You know, I want my kid to be proud of me. I want to set a good example, you know?

Emma nodded.

Will : I... I hope it's cool ....me unloading on you like this. I don't want there to be any awkwardness.

Emma : Oh, no. no, none at all. I mean, you know, especially since We're, um, we're both in relationships now. It's both of us

Will : Right.

Emma : I'm in a relationship. you're in a relationship.

Will : Exactly, yeah. How's it going with ken?

Emma : Great. it's great. it's wonderful. I mean, you know, he's .... he's flawed, But he .... he knows who he is, and that's ..... that's great. And there really is. Nothing sexier in a man than confidence, you know?

Will : Hum! Hum!

Emma smiling while Will does not know what to say.

SCENE 4 : Rest room - Will, Ken, Sandy, Howard and Henry.

Ken in the fridge while Will will sit down with Sandy.

Will : Sandy! I thought you weren't allowed d wed on campus.

Sandy : No, william. I'm not allowed within 50 feet of children. Besides, Henri and I go way back. I got him a job before we even had a shop class. I told figgins that you are going to have a school Full of nancies unless you get some hot wood. In those teenagers' hands.

Ken : Here comes henri.

Will : Ah, sh**t. Terri was supposed to bring a cake.

Henry entered the room with bandages on his hands.

Henry : I'm back.

Henry has more inches, and in that moment, Will tells us what happened and you see the accident.

Thought Will : «Henri had a little problem with over-the-counter cough medicine. (Whirr, cr*ck) He ended up cutting off his thumbs. It was a real tragedy. »

Henry sitting at table with Will, Sandy and Ken.

Henry : I'll never hitchhike across europe. That was a dream, man.

Will : Hum! ....

Sandy : Waouh! ...

Howard, arriving with a cake shaped hands, the thumbs-up for Henry.

Will : Where's Terri?

Howard : Doing inventory. I can't count higher than 30.

Will and others, surprised by the shape of the cake.
Moments later, all enjoying the cake table. While on his side, Henry is struggling to serve those covered before the eyes of others saddened. He ended up eating at the source without cutlery.

Will : You know, This is nice. I can't remember the last time. I just hung out with the guys. Really talked about our feelings.

Ken : Want to know what i'm feeling? I live at the ymca. i only have one pair of long pants.

Sandy : Oh, please. my life is a disaster with no creative outlet other than writing my Desperate Housewives fan fiction.

Howard : I'm afraid of my vacuum.

Will : I know how you guys feel. I apparently don't know how to dance.

Henry : I don't have thumbs.

Henry crying.

Will : Um.... Sorry.

All the guys give him a slap. While Sandy begins to sing. Then the others follow.

Will : Hey, that was pretty good.

SCENE 5 : Will apartment - Will, Terri, Ken, Howard, Henry and Sandy

Will and Acafellas - Song : This is how we do it

Will, in his apartment singing and dancing with the guys.

Thought Will : « Two weeks ago, I would have agreed that four grown men rehearsing a capella hip-hop in my living room was embarrassing. but busting out some white-hot new jack swing... I'll tell u, I've never felt more confident .... »

Ken : ... Testostertones.

Thought Will : « ...was more manly. and then we heard a single word leave howard's lips, and we knew we had our name. »

Howard : ... Acafelllas.

Then someone knocked on the door.

Sandy : I'm ready for my close-up, Mr Demille.

Will : Sandy, we voted. when you're in the group, it's creepy.

Sandy : Wait. I...

Will he slammed the door in his face.

Will : Hum! ...

Will starts to sing, when Terri gown, tumbling into the room furious.

Terri : Will! If I don't get some sleep, I could miscarry.

Will : I'm sorry, Terri. I'll be right in.

Terri : I hope so.

Will putting these guys at the door, and then Terri and Will making love to death.

Thought Will : « Being in a boy band did wonders for our love life. Seeing me feel so good about myself made my wife more attracted to me in every way.»

Terri : Hum!

Terri trying to get pregnant, but could not.

Thought Will : «It was amazing. I mean, we started doing it once a week. It was like she was trying to make a twin. »

Terri : Mm...

SCENE 6 : Repetition's room - Glee Club

Rachel, coming with cakes, while the Glee observed.

Rachel : He's not coming.

Finn : What happened?

[Flash Back]

Some time rather in a classroom, Will sat at his desk, while Rachel gives her cakes.

Rachel : They're my famous sugar cookies. I bake them for the poor during christmastime, But I whipped up a special batch Just for you. I wanted to say how sorry. I was for what i said.

Will : Don't be. you were right. You know, the truth is, rachel, if you weren't so hard on me, I never would have had the guts to start acafellas.

Rachel : But we need you, Mr Shue. You've missed six rehearsals in the past couple of weeks, And when you're there, you're not really there.

Will : Which is why I think you should go ahead and hire montana.

Rachel : Dakota.

Will : Whatever.

Will rising.

Will : You know, I'll still be there to help you guys sing and stuff, But, uh, I just don't have time for all of it anymore.

Will going off and slapping Rachel.

[Back to reality]

Finn : Of course he doesn't want Anything to do with us after you kicked him in the nads.

Rachel : Then why did he thank me?

Santana : The goal is to win. And now that Mr Schuester has agreed To let us hire dakota stanley, We can.

Finn : But he doesn't want us to. he just doesn't have The confidence to coach us anymore. Guys are real sensitive when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Rachel : And that's my fault?

Finn : Do you see anyone else in here With a plate of "I'm sorry" cookies?

Quinn rising.

Quinn : I don't .... just you. I'm bored. All those in favor of hiring dakota stanley?

Everyone raises a hand except Finn.

SCENE 7 : School corridor - Exterior - Finn and Rachel

Rachel upset while leaving the Finn follows.

Finn : Hey, wait up. You can't do this to Mr Schuester.

Rachel : What? Make him a hero? Once we hire dakota and win nationals. He'll thank me for it. You heard santana. It's all about winning.

Finn : Since when?

Rachel : Look, you have your popular clique and your football And your cliche of a blond girlfriend. Glee is my one sh*t. If this doesn't work out, then my whole high school life will be nothing but an embarrassment.

Finn : What's a cliche? Is that a bad thing? Wait, wait, wait, wait...

Finn himself blocking the road.

Finn : Wait! Where you're pissed about one thing, but you're just pretending. Like you're pissed about something else? 'cause...

Rachel : I don't know what you're talking about.

Finn : Well, for a while there, you were kind of all over me. And now you just yell at me all the time. It makes me think that you're still upset About what happened in the auditorium.

Rachel : I'm not.

Rachel went away.

Rachel : I've moved on and i'm bousingo on my career now.

Finn : So you want to talk about it?

Rachel turned.

Rachel : No. And neither do you. It's kind of ironic how you're Mr Popular.And I'm just this no body that everybody makes fun of, but I have enough confidence to say out loud. That what happened between us in the auditorium was real. You have feelings for me and you just don't have the guts to admit it. We're hiring dakota stanley.

Finn does not know what to say, let her go when suddenly, he replies.

Finn : Even if it means me quitting?

Rachel stops.

Rachel : Yes.

Rachel, going away and leaving him alone.

SCENE 9 : Office Sue's - Sue, Quinn and Santana

Sue making her rowing while the two girls sat and told him the events.

Sue : It's a good start. You're sewing the seeds of destruction.

Santana : Mr Schuester barely even shows up for rehearsals.

Sue : Oh, no, no, no. "barely" will not cut it. I will not be satisfied until glee club is disbanded. And what about this dakota character? Any chance he actually helps?

Quinn : Hum! ... (Laughting) ... They're soft. He'll eat them alive. I give them 15 minutes before the first one quits Or tries to commit su1c1de.

Sue exits his rowing machine and sitting in front of them.

Sue : You know, ladies... I learned a lot in special forces. I was on the strike team in panama When we extracted noriega. We took out the shepherd... Then we went after the sheep. You need to go after these glee clubbers One by one. I want my full budget restored.

Quinn and Santana approving.

Sue : I need a fog machine.

SCENE 9 : School Corridor - Mercedes, Kurt, Puck, Santana and Quinn

Mercedes, melancholy look at the couples parades in the corridors along the lockers. It focuses on the couple Santana / Puck who laugh and kiss her a few steps, then Kurt appears and goes into his locker.

Mercedes : Kurt. ... Have you ever kissed anybody?

Kurt : Yes. If by someone you mean the tender crook of my elbow.

Kurt is recovering from the lacquer.

Kurt : No, I haven't. But I want to. All right, stop it right there, mercedes. We are in glee club. That means we are at the bottom of the social heap. Special ed kids will get more play than we will. The only thing that gets me by is my knowledge that we are superior to all of them.

Mercedes smiled as he drives it in the corridors.

Kurt : What are you wearing on our operation dakota stanley field trip?

Mercedes : Is there a dress code?

Kurt : No, but every moment of your life is an opportunité for fashion. We'll hit the mall after school. Meet me at lunch.

Mercedes : Okay.

Kurt went away. While Quinn and Mercedes Santana rushes.

Quinn : You should totally scoop that.

Mercedes : Hum! ... I don't think i'm his type.

Quinn : Oh, i think you are.

Santana agrees.

Quinn : Just follow our lead. We've got your back.

SCENE 10 : Bar des sports - Acafellas, Emma, Terri, Figgins and parents of Will.

Acafellas - Chanson : Poison

The Acafellas occurring for the first time on stage. Emma's urging while Terri bored. Moreover, Figgins is there and pleasantly surprised.
At the end of the song, the audience applauds warmly with Emma.

Emma : Yay.... Ken .... Ken Tanaka.

Thought Will : « In my own little way, I felt like i was finally...a star.»

Moments later, the father of Will distributing CDs with his group's parent.

Mr Schuester : Thank you so much.

Suddenly, Will appears.

Mrs Schuester : Acafellas! Hey! Son, this is huge.

Will : Oh! ....

Mrs Schuester : Ah! ....

Will the parents take pride in their arms to him.

Mr Schuester : We just sold all 17 copies of your cd.

Mrs Schuester : I didn't even have to show any of them my bosoms.

Mr Schuester : Doodle honey, you go get yourself a sanka.

Mrs Schuester : Yeah. Okay.

Will : Thanks, mom. Good job.

Will's mother leaves. Will joins in the bars of his father.

Mr Schuester : I bought one for my grandson. So he can hear for himself How good his old man was.

Will : Ah! ...

Figgins appeared at that time.

Figgins : Shue, that was an amazing performance.

Will : Oh, thank you. I mean, we're just starting out, so...

Figgins : Look, there's a pta meeting next thursday night And i want acafellas to be the main event.

Will and his father very surprised but happy about the situation.

Figgins : I need those parents happy. They found out we've been serving Their children prison food.

Will : uh-huh.

Figgins goes to Will and his father speechless.

Mr Schuester : Great job, son.

Will kissing his father.

SCENE 11 : Rest room - Acafellas

Will and his group sitting at table, while Will reads the newspaper.

Will : Well... "Is it too soon to call Will Schuester the next michael buble? The audience last thursday at benchwarmers sports bar didn't think so.And ken tankas smoky baritone is like a cool fog that sweeps over a deep ocean of emotional intensité. A big thumbs-up to Henry St Pierre who proves you don't need all ten fingers to pluck a lady's heartstrings like a well-tuned sexy harpsichord. Only howard..." Uh, sorry, howard. They didn't say anything about you. "Buckle up, Ohio. are you ready for a new musical sensation? You'd better be, because here come the acafellas."

Will congratulations from his friends.

Ken : Yeah!

Sandy enters.

Will : Ah! Ah! Ah! ...

Sandy : Oh, congratulations. On your dead tree valentine, gentlemen. By the way, I want in. Stop right there, william. I've got two words for you. Josh Groban. He's coming to the PTA event.

Howard : Who is Josh Groban?

Sandy : Who is Josh Groban?! k*ll yourself! He is an angel sent from heaven To deliver platinum records unto us. And if he were here right now, I would club you to death with his critics' choice award.

Ken : Why would he come to our show?

Sandy : Because I invited him. Josh and I have become frequent pen pals Since he accidentally friended me on myspace. And being my close personal confidant, He is only interested if I am in the group.

Will : No, Sandy. We have standards.

Sandy : Okay, fine. But just so you know, the blogs are all atwitter. They say he's looking for an opening act.

All are very surprised and interested.

SCENE 12 : Rehearsal Hall of Vocal Adrenaline - Kurt, Girls of Glee Club, Vocal Adrenaline and Dakota Stanley

Kurt, standing in the street of the building with his new car. The girls are very surprised.

Mercedes : Damn, kurt, this car is fly.

Kurt : My dad got it for my sweet 16. After I swore to stop wearing formfitting sweaters That stop at the knee. What he doesn't know doesn't hurt him.

Kurt is one at this moment.

Kurt : What he doesn't know doesn't hurt him.

Kurt closing its 4x4 then all head to the room.

Quinn : Are we even sure they're rehearsing today?

Rachel : Vocal adrenaline rehearses every day from 2:30 until midnight.

As they advance, Kurt takes the arm of Mercedes.

Mercedes : I'm just so nervous these Vocal Adrenaline kids are gonna laugh at us. They're so cool and popular, and we look like we just stepped off the short bus.

Kurt : Those sweaty nazis have just had more time to practice. We have more heart. And you don't look touched in the head. That outfit is amazing.

Mercedes smile, then look at the girls, Quinn and Santana, who encourage the eye to talk to Kurt.

Mercedes : So, would you ever, .. You know, want to hang out?

Kurt : Come over. It's Liza Minnelli week on amc!

Rachel : Guys! That's andrea cohen. she won outstanding Soloist last year at absolutely tampastic.

Two young girls on the outside, one is throwing up.

Girl of Vocal Adrenaline : You can't ... leave rehearsals for any reason. That includes heat exhaustion or crohn's disease.

Rachel approaching.

Rachel : Are you guys Vocal Adrenaline? We'd like to talk to Dakota Stanley about choreography for our Glee Club.

Andrea Cohen : Don't! He's a monster.

Vocal Adrenaline - Song : Mercy

In the rehearsal room, the Glee Club is attending a rehearsal of Vocal Adrenaline. They are completely stunned by their performance.

Dakota Stanley : Get off my stage!

Moments later, Rachel continues Dakota until his car.

Rachel : Mr Stanley! We're the McKinley High Glee club.

Dakota : No interviews.

Tina : We'd like you to choreograph for us.

Dakota : Look, my fee is $8,000 per number, Plus a $10,000 bonus if you place in the top three. And with Dakota Stanley at the wheel, you will place at the top three. Move it.

Dakota went away.

Rachel : How are we gonna get $8,000?

SCENE 13 : Repetition's room- Will, Ken, Howard and Emma

Will repeat by Ken a few dance steps.

Will : Kick that way and back. You kick out... hold on. hold on.

Ken : Okay, one more.

Will : Okay. Kick out. Right behind you. It's all right.

Ken : Oh! ... Where is everybody?

Will : .... Hum! ... Sandy went to get Henry from wood shop.

Will the phone rings and he answers.

Will : And, oh, there's howard. (Phone.) « Hello. »

Howard (Phone.) : « Will, I don't think i can be in the band anymore. »

Will (Phone.) : « What? »

Howard (Phone.) : « I'm doing inventory. It was never my dream. »

Howard desperate clinging to Will.

Ken : What?

Will : Hum! ... Howard's out.

Ken : Oh, that ...

Emma enters the room.

Ken : ... that's just great. What's he...

Ken sees Emma and Will.

Ken : Hey. Emma. You didn't, uh, see me dancing earlier did you?

Emma : oh, is that what that was? Look, i have some bad news.

Ken : You're breaking up with me. What, here? In front of another dude?

Emma : No, look, please stop talking. Um, no, look, I think the Acafellas pressure has proven to be a little bit too much for Henry.

Will : Really, why?

Emma : Well, he just downed six bottles of cough syrup, which is a lot, even for him. Um, he's okay. Sandy's in the emergency room with him now, but Figgins is insisting before he comes back; and can be around kids again, that he goes to rehab. So that's where he's going tomorrow morning.

Will and Ken helpless.

Ken : That's just great. So acafellas is officially doomed now. You know, uh, when I get stressed, i ..., I work out. You can probably tell. So I'm gonna, uh, down some power bars. Knock offa few reps. Come up with some solutions here.

Ken went away.

Will : It was fun while it lasted.

Emma : I don't think you should give up so easy, Will. You know, they said van halen was dead. After David Lee Roth quit, but my worn-out single of "Right now" says that they were wrong.

Emma went away.

SCENE 14 : Classroom - Will and Finn

Will typing on his computer. Someone knocks and enters.

Finn : You got a sec, Mr Shue?

Will : Yeah, of course. what's up?

Finn : I just want to tell you that I'm quitting glee, too.

Will : Oh! ... I didn't quit glee.

Finn : Well, you might as well have. It's nutty in there. I try and talk sense into Rachel. But she's gone all chick-batty. I gotta be honest with you. It's hard being the quarterback when i get in the huddle and all the guys are calling me "deep throat." Glee's bringing down my rep, man.

Will : Have the guts to stick with it a little bit longer. You are a gifted performer, Finn. you can't quit now. If you do, you're just gonna regret it for the rest of your life. Trust me! I know.

Finn : It's just not fun anymore.

Will : Hey, Finn, wait. There's something I want to talk to you about.

SCENE 15 : Cloakroom - Ken, Puck, Santana and Mrs H.

Ken, while sitting between Puck.

Puck : Hey, coach.

Ken : What do you want, Puckerman?

Puck : I hear there's a vacancy in your a capella group. I want to offer my services. I play guitar. And actually, I'm a really good singer. There are a lot of moms at your gigs, right.

Thought Puck : «Well, here's the thing you should know about me: I'm not like everybody else in this crappy cow town. I've got star potential, and more specifically, I'm tired of wasting my time with high school girls. »

[Flash back]

Puck in the corridors of the school facing Santana.

Puck : You're breaking up with me?

Santana : Mm...

Puck : Why?

Santana : Your credit score is terrible. What i need as a woman is financial security.

Santana leaving.

Thought Puck : «See, young girls will sh**t you down and make you feel terrible about yourself... »

Puck with an older woman near a Jacuzzi.

Thought Puck : «....but a cougar never disappoints. »

Puck : Thanks, Mrs. H.

Mrs H. : Is that a nipple ring?

Puck : Yeah, I'm kinda rock and roll.

Mrs H. : I need your help unclogging my bathtub drain.

Thought Puck : «The proof was in the sexual pudding. My above-ground pool cleaning business went through the roof once I embraced my gift for music and gave these fine ladies the romance they were missing. I also stopped b*ating people up so much. »

[Back to reality]

Puck : When do we start rehearsals?

Ken grabbing by Puck the jersey.

Ken : Now you listen to me, you little psychopath. My love life is hanging by a thread and that thread is Acafellas. It drives my girlfriend nuts in the pants. So if you screw this up for me, I swear to you I will stick my fist So far down your throat, you will taste my armpit hairs. Do I make myself clear?

Puck : Hum! Hum!...

Ken : Good. We rehearse Tuesdays and thursdays at 8:00. Don't be late.

Ken releasing it then goes away.

SCENE 16 : Repetition's room - Will, Puck and Finn.

Will playing the guitar, while showing some finn not Puck.

Will : Okay!

Puck : Come on.

Finn jostling Puck, Puck and then pounces on him. Will stop playing.

Puck : Dude, my bowels have better moves than you.

Will : Guys, stop. You guys got the steps down. You just need to relax, okay? Um, you guys play baseball, right? What does your coach tell you about hitting?

Puck : "if you charge the pitcher, bring the bat."

Will : Okay, um, but i'm sure he also tells you to relax, right? Cause hitting's all about the hips, right? You gotta loosen them up.

Will showing the footwork of baseball, then the other two shackle.

Will : Just swing that bat. All right, pretend, Acafellas, Madison Square Garden. Here we are. all those beautiful ladies out there. You swing that big ol' bat. bam! Hit some home runs, all right, guys? All right. (Chuckles) Now let's try it from the top, okay? Here we go.

Will takes up the guitar for Puck and Finn dance.

Will : Five, six, seven, eight. Yeah. Aw, yeah. Yeah, get those hips into it. That's it! that's it! all right! Uh!


Puck and Finn welcome a pat hand and Will.

Will : Yeah!

Finn : That baseball thing sure was good, Mr Shue.

Puck : Totally. That was awesome.

SCENE 17 : School Corridors- Mercedes, Tina and Rachel

Ringer High School - Mercedes in his locker, while Rachel and Tina accost.

Rachel : We need to have a gayvention. That's a gay intervention.

Tina : It's k...k..kurt. He's lady fabulous. It's obvious you like him.

Rachel : We just don't want you to get hurt by feelings. He can't reciprocate.

Mercedes : Look, just because he wear nice clothes doesn't mean. He's on the down-low.

Rachel : He wore a corset to second period today.

Tina : You can do better, Mercedes.

Mercedes : Really? Well, what if I can't? There's not a lot of guys around here knocking down my door for a date. Or yours, for that matter. Nobody notices us. Hello? We're in glee club. And I'm tired of being lonely. Aren't you? But kurt... Kurt is sweet to me, and he likes who I am, and I like how I feel when i'm with him. And he's in our group, he understands what I'm going through. Now, maybe that's not enough for you guys, but it's enough for me.

Rachel and Tina remain voiceless, while Mercedes is going.

SCENE 18 : High School-Exterior - Glee Club, Emma and Sue.

Everyone washes cars to pay Dakota. Emma Sue approach the scene looks exasperated.

Emma : You know what, Sue? I got to say, I really misjudged you. Getting the cheerios to help out with the Glee Club choreographer fund-raiser is one of the nicest things. I've ever seen.

Sue : Well, Erma, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this Glee Club successful.

Boys : Come on!

Emma : Ooh! So excited. Oh, I love a car wash, too, though, you know. When I was little, if I got all "a"s. My dad would let me wash his car, so I'd get my little toothbrush out, and I'd clean it all weekend long.

Sue : You know, the way you use your mental illness to help these kids is really inspiring. I'm shocked you're not married.

Emma left speechless. While for their part, Mercedes and Kurt Kurt's car wash that shines.

Mercedes : Your rims are clean. We've polished them, like, three times already.

Kurt : Did you bring a change of clothes? Because we're going straight to sing-along sound of music.

Mercedes : So, listen, Kurt, This is like the third time we've gone out. Can we just make it official?

Kurt : Make what official?

Mercedes : You know, that we're dating.

Kurt : I'm sorry, Mercedes, But I thought I made it very clear. I'm in love with someone else.

Kurt fixing Finn, but Rachel is when Mercedes is looking in the opposite direction of Kurt.

Mercedes : Rachel!

Kurt : Yes. For several years now.

Mercedes, mad with rage, sends a stone in the windshield of Kurt.

Mercedes - Song : Bust Your Window

Mercedes began to sing and dance crazy with rage against Kurt.

Kurt : You busted my window. How could you do that? You busted my window!

Mercedes : Well, you busted my heart.

Mercedes before Kurt went away stunned.

SCENE 19 : Repetition's room - Glee Club and Dakota Stanley

Dakota submitting a paper to each member of the Glee Club.

Dakota : Okay, please examine your personalized menus. This is what you're going to be eating for the next six months.

Mercedes : Um, mine just says coffee.

Dakota : Hum! Hum!

Rachel : What's smelt?

Dakota : A pungent low-carb freshwater fish. Okay, let's start with today's business. Artie, you're cut.

Artie : You're not.

Dakota : Trying hard enough at what? At walking. we can't be wheeling you around during every number. It throws off the whole dynamic, and it's depressing.

Mercedes : So, you're kicking him out?

Dakota : Mm-hmm. Also you. ouse got to go, Effie.

Mercedes : Oh! ...

Dakota : No, no, no. Yeah.

Kurt : You can't kick people out of Glee Club because you don't like the way they look.

Dakota : Uh, why don't you shut your face-gash and stay away from aerosol cans because you could burst into flames at any second? You three ...you're great. you're perfect. Seriously. don't change thing. Uh, you..... ew, nose job.

Finn : Now just hold on a second. What?

Dakota : What was that, frankenteen? Why don't you, uh, wipe that Dopey look off your face and get some lotion for those knuckles you've been dragging on the ground?

Finn : What's wrong with you?

Dakota : What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me is that you're freakishly tall. I feel like a woodland Creature. Um, am I hurting your feelings? Did I say something wrong? Because I thought you wanted somebody who respected you enough to tell you the truth. But maybe you don't have the confidence to hear it, hmm? Maybe you need somebody who's going to Lie to you and tell you things like, "you got what it takes." But you know what? As far as I can see, you don't. So, why don't you just take a little second, take a breather, and ask yourself, "do I want to be a winner..or not?"

Finn : Screw this. I quit.

Finn leaves followed by Tina.

Artie : Me too

Mercedes : Let's roll, Artie.

Mercedes and Artie go too.

Dakota : No. great, great. You know, separate the wheat from the chaff; that's perfect.

Rachel : Wait. (Everyone stops.) Barbra streisand. When barbra was a young ingenue, everyone told her in order to be a star. She'd have to get a nose job. Thankfully, she refused.

Dakota : Where's this going, yentl?

Rachel : Where it's going is that... We don't need you. Let's face it. We're never going to be as good of dancers as Vocal Adrenaline. We're gonna win because... we're different. And that's what makes us special.

Mercedes : They told J.Lo her booty was too big.

Artie : Curtis Mayfield was more successful after he became paralyzed.

Finn : Jim Abbot.

Kurt : I have no idea who that is.

Finn : He was a one-armed pitcher for the yankees. Pitched a no-hitter.

Dakota : Okay, so, yeah. Misfits and spaz-heads and cripples can make it, too. That's great. What's your point?

Rachel : Our point is that... you're fired. And I'm taller than you.

The Glee Club smiled.

Dakota : Mm...

SCENE 20 : Wings - AcafellasKen on makeup before a mirror when Finn accosted.

Finn : Wait, we have to wear mascara?

Ken : Sandy says it makes our eyes pop.

Finn leaving.

Finn : Okay.

Puck : There's a lot of moms out there, right?

Will entering.

Will : Guys, don't worry about it. Just get in the zone, all right? This is going to be fun. Believe me. You're going to remember this night for the rest of your lives.

Will adjusting the costume Finn.

Finn : Mr Schue.

Will : I know, you're nervous.

Finn : No, that isn't what I wanted to tell you. It's just... thanks. For believing in me.

Sandy comes running.

Sandy : He's here! He's here! Josh groban is here! Front row, big brown eyes, cute as a buttermilk biscuit. I barfed. Wait a minute.

Will : He actually showed up? I can't believe it!

Sandy : Gentlemen, forget every experience you have ever had in your drab little lives. This is the most important thing you will ever do. Places!

SCENE 21 : Concert hall - Acafellas and Public

Acafellas - Song : I Wanna Sex You Up

The Acafellas on stage before an audience very enthusiastic.

SCENE 22 : Wings - Acafellas, Josh Groban, Figgins and Flex.

Sandy, covered with flowers, Figgins speaks with enthusiasm.

Sandy : I would like to just go into the recording studio and lay some of those tracks down.

Josh Groban and his bodyguard come but Sandy does not see it yet.

Sandy : And of course I would love to play some bigger venues. Wembley Stadium, Red Rocks...

Sandy turns.

Sandy : Oh!

Josh : Hey, guys, I'm Josh Groban. This is my bodyguard, Flex. We were in town. I was inducting Run-DMC. Into the rock and roll hall of fame last night, So I thought I'd stop by and say hello. So, which one of you is, uh... Sandy?

Sandy raised her hand.

Sandy : Ooh!...(Laughs) We are so honored that you came here today.Josh : I came here to tell you...

Sandy : Yes, Sir?

Josh : .... Stop emailing me. This is a restraining order. Stop sending me nude photos. Stop calling me. I don't know how you got my number! I don't know how you got my number again after I changed it, but I don't want any more. Of your edible gift baskets or locks of your hair. And I don't want to read any more of those sonnets you wrote for me.

Flex : That stuff got crazy, dude.

Everyone is shocked and disappointed.

Josh : Are we clear?

Sandy nodded.

Josh : Thank you, gentlemen. And by the way, great show.

The Acafellas smile.

Josh : I mean, like, ....expl*sive.

Will : Thanks. Sorry.

Josh and his guard are gone.

SCENE 23 : Parking - Will, Terri and his father

Will and his wife returning.

Terri : I'm sorry, will. I... I could have been more supportive. You guys were actually pretty good. And you were good.

Will : You were really good. Yeah?

Terri : Yeah.

Will giving his sash to his wife. Then he kisses his wife when his father approach.

Mr Schuester : Don't bother. She's already pregnant. Hey, kids. Have you seen doodle?

SCENE 24 : Wings - Mrs Schuester and Josh

Mrs Schuester drunk listening Josh.

Josh : Now, you might be thinking, why would a pop star like me come over here and talk to you? Well, let me tell you something. Throngs of screaming teenagers don't do it for Josh Groban. No. Josh Groban loves a blowsy alcoholic.

Mrs Schuester : Oh. Oh, wow. You'll have to forgive me, ma'am. I'm a little bit drunk, and I'm afraid I'm not making good choices right now.

SCENE 25 : Parking - Will, Terri and his father

Always together.

Terri : Maybe she slipped and hit her head again.

Terri went away.

Mr Schuester : You guys kicked some serious tail up there tonight.

Will laughs.

Mr Schuester : Sorry about the whole Josh Groban thing.

Will : Nah, it's all right. How are the other guys taking it?

Mr Schuester : That ryerson guy cried himself to sleep in figgins' arms and ken tanaka is raiding the nacho bar. What about you?

Will : You okay? You know, dad... I am. I mean, this was all a dream come true, but... I'm a teacher. And a really good one. That's enough for me.

Mr Schuester : I know. I saw the way your students look at you. You inspire people. You inspired me.

Will : What do you mean?

Mr Schuester : I'm going to law school. Night classes for now, Until I get all of my prerequisites, but I registered yesterday. You made me realize it's never too late Too grow a pair and go after your dream.

Will : That's amazing, dad. That's so amazing!

Will clutching his father in his arms.

SCENE 26 : School Corridors - Kurt and Mercedes

Kurt in his locker, while the Mercedes approach.

Mercedes : Hey, Kurt. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry I did that to your car. I'll pay for it to get fixed.

Kurt : It's okay. My dad took my baby away after he found my tiara collection in my hope chest.

Mercedes : And I just wanted to say I hope it works out between you and rachel. You'll have really cute, loud babies.

Mercedes goes.

Kurt : Mercedes.

Mercedes returns.

Kurt : I lied to you. I don't like rachel. I'm gay.

Mercedes : Why didn't you just tell me?

Kurt : Because I've never told anyone before.

Mercedes : You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are, Kurt.

Kurt crying.

Mercedes : You should just tell people, especially the kids in Glee. The whole point of the club is about expressing what's really inside you, remember?

Kurt : I can't. I'm just not that confident, I guess.

Kurt went away.

SCENE 27 : Office Sue's - Sue, Quinn and Santana

Sue, angry face sitting Quinn and Santana.

Sue : Let me get this straight. The Glee Club got rid of Dakota Stanley. Mr Schuester is back and ey're busy at work on a new number, more confident than ever.

SCENE 28 : Repetition's Room- Will and Glee Club

The Glee Club repeating Will a new choreography.

Will : And down... clap, and up, clap, clap. Down, clap, and up, clap, clap.

SCENE 29 : Office Sue's- Sue, Quinn and Santana

Sue, still angry, scolds his daughters.

Sue : This is what we call a total disaster, ladies. I'm going to ask you to smell your armpits.

Quinn and Santana running

Sue : That's the smell of failure. And it's stinking up my office. I'm revoking your tanning privilèges for the rest of the semester.

Santana, in tears, followed by leaves Quinn pauses.

Quinn : Mrs Sylvester, I want to thank you.

Sue : For what?

Quinn : For teaching me a valuable life lesson. When you really believe in yourself, you don't have to bring other people down.

Quinn goes under the very eyes of Sue.

SCENE 30 : Repetition Room's - Will and Glee Club

Will continue to repeat the Glee Club.

Will : Uh, uh, step, ball change and head. Step, ball change and head. Low and up. Low and high! Oh, what do you guys think?

Rachel :Mr Schuester.

Wil : Yes. Rachel.

Rachel : It was really good.

Everyone smiled and clapped.

Will : Thank you. Thank you. Okay.
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