04x03 - Texas Wedge

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Magnum P. I.". Aired: September 2018 to present.*
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An ex-Navy Seal returns to Hawaii as a private investigator.
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04x03 - Texas Wedge

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ I think I'm fallin' for you... ♪

(LAUGHING)

And ever since then, I've had to
keep my cats in separate rooms.

(LAUGHS)

Well, you see, that would
never happen with dogs.

Which brings us to my
original argument...

All dogs are boys,

- and all cats are girls.
- (LAUGHS)

I don't think this debate
is gonna end anytime soon,

and, um,

I think that this bar closes
in, like, ten minutes.

What are you suggesting?

Just because the bar is
closed doesn't mean we have

to stop drinking.

Great point.

(LIQUID SLOSHES, GLASS CLINKS)

(GASPING)

(THUDDING)

The target has been secured.

Prints?

Very well. Secure Mr. Grimshaw's
mobile, stay with him.

Someone from our team will
grab him within the hour.

Does this assignment
settle our arrangement?

I'm afraid the assignment's
barely just begun.

What's next?

We'll be in touch.

(GIGGLING)

- I'm famished.
- (LAUGHS)

I'm gonna take that as a compliment.

(LAUGHS)

Go ahead and help yourself out
to anything in the fridge.

I get to pick between week-old
leftovers from Pig & the Lady

and an open box of baking soda?

Hmm, is that what you think?

Just check it out.

No... way.

Oh, hey.

Uh, I was just texting you.

Oh.

You're not...

Well, I wasn't texting you,
obviously. Hi. Hello.

Hi. Hi. Uh, I figured
you didn't mean me.

- You don't have my number.
- MAGNUM: Impressed with the groceries?

I went a little ham, no pun intended.

Higgins.

I tried calling you and texting
you, but you weren't picking up,

so... here I am.

Yeah. Uh, I was busy. (LAUGHS)

You're busy?

Yeah.

(SUCKS IN THROUGH TEETH)

Paperwork.

- (CLEARS THROAT)
- Why were you calling?

We have a case. The client wants
to meet really soon.

I did try texting you about it.

Okay, well, I will, uh, get dressed

and, uh, see you in a minute.

Very well.

I will see you in the car.

Mm-hmm.

Do you have time for breakfast?

Now, when you say "breakfast,"

do you mean breakfast, or breakfast?

- (LAUGHS)
- HIGGINS: Guys,

I'm leaving, but I'm still here. Just...

But I'm... I'm going.

(ENGINE REVVING)

So, did you end up having breakfast?

We talking about food or sex?

Food! Magnum, I'm talking about food.

Well, you're the one
who barged in unannounced.

Barged in? I called and texted first.

Yeah, but you didn't knock.

Who doesn't knock when
they enter a house?

Well, you never knock when
you come into the main house.

And why is she sneaking over
anyway? I know about her.

You knew about her, but she didn't know

that you knew about her until today.

Right.

She's a very private person, okay?

I mean, I know that.

I think I pretty much
have her figured out.

(LAUGHING): Oh, really?

Okay, let's hear it.

All right.

She's .

She's street smart but not book smart.

She comes from a long line of cops.

And you obviously met her on a case.

Wow. That's actually pretty impressive

how completely wrong you are.

First of all, she's .

Uh, graduated top of her class

in college and the Academy.
Her mother was a waitress.

Her father left before she was born.

And we actually met at a sh**ting range.

It was really kind of sexy.

b*ll*ts were whizzing by,
and that long hair, you know.

So, you really have no idea
what you're talking about.

Of course I don't.
That was just the best way

to get you to tell me
about your secret girlfriend.

Ah, okay. Clever.

(LAUGHS)

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

- Did you...?
- Obviously not. Did you?

No.

Ah. Jin. Wow,
looking sharper than usual.

Oh, that's very offensive,
but thanks. That means a lot.

I am spending the day

with my niece,
and I wanted to look nice.

And by the way, she has no idea

that I was ever a criminal,
so no one say a word.

And just go along with it

if she's under the impression
that I own the place.

And why would she have that impression?

- Okay, but...
- HIGGINS: Hello, gents.

TC, how are you feeling?

Oh, the skyjackers were kind enough

to avoid any organs
when they sh*t me, so...

I'm healing up just fine.

Really, Magnum? Not gonna say anything?

Uh, yeah.

Why'd you put me and Higgins
on a mobile billboard?

That's driving around already? Nice.

I mean... surprise. (LAUGHS)

Hey, what are you talking about?

Yeah. How'd you know it was me?

Well, we called the leasing company.

Why on earth would you do
something like this?

After I shut down
my cash-cleaning business,

I had six months left
on the lease for my billboard.

I was gonna blow it up, you
know, get out of the contract,

but I realized
that wasn't gonna work out.

RICK: Okay, wait.
So, just to be clear...

Blowing up your own billboard
is not helpful. Got it.

Okay, also, I figured out

that I'd give you guys
free advertisement.

You get new clients rolling in,

and you're gonna throw
old Jin some cheddar.

Jin, I know you mean well,

but you got to take the billboard down.

We actually do really well
just by word of mouth.

Yeah. Plus, you two work
under the radar, so

having your faces on a billboard
is the last thing you would want.

Geez. All right,
I'll take care of it. Man,

I got to shake off these bad
vibes before my niece gets here.

And by the way, she has no idea
I was ever in prison.

Oh, and, Higgins,
if she's under the impression

that you and I used to date,

and also that you're still heartbroken,

and also you have a pet name...

Juju Higgy-bear... Just go with it.

Uh, you know what? I don't
have time for this.

- Our client's here.
- You never do.

That's why it didn't work out
between us, Juju.

I'm a caddie at Ko 'Opua Country Club.

Or, well, I was.

Two sets of golf clubs
went missing recently,

and they're saying I stole 'em,
so I was suspended without pay.

Unless I can prove I didn't do it,

my entire future is in jeopardy.

- Your entire future?
- I know.

Sounds dramatic, but I play
on the amateur circuit,

and they say
I have a real sh*t at going pro.

Losing this job means

losing everything
I've been working towards.

So, I understand what you're saying, but

why did they think you stole the clubs?

They said a witness saw me
taking them out of the storage locker,

but whoever that is, they're
either lying or mistaken 'cause

I didn't do it.

But they believed 'em enough
to report it to HPD.

HIGGINS: So, on top of everything,

you're looking
at a possible felony conviction.

Yeah.

When I was six, my parents saw
I had a passion for golf

and sacrificed everything for me.

Even took on second jobs
so I could join league play.

I-I'd never jeopardize my future
and all that they sacrificed.

You got to believe me.

Great. Okay. Thanks, Tatty.

Your fridge.

There's food in it.

- It's a fridge.
- But...

there's never food.

HIGGINS: I finally
demanded that if we were

gonna keep meeting here,

that, uh, Thomas stock his
refrigerator, like an adult.

KUMU: Ooh, nice call.

- We all win.
- Mm-hmm.

Did Tatty ever send that police report?

Yes, the two sets

of stolen clubs were worth $ , .

The witness who supposedly
saw Trevor steal them

is a member named Stan Peters.

Well, Ko 'Opua must
have security cameras.

Maybe they caught something.

They do, but they only cover
the main areas,

and not the storage locker

where the clubs were
actually stolen from.

Still think we should get the footage.

I mean, if we can put Trevor elsewhere

at the time of the theft,
that'll exonerate him.

It's a good idea. And at some point,

we ought to check if anyone
tried to sell the stolen clubs

- to any local pawnshops.
- I can do that for you.

Well, that would be a huge help.
Thank you.

Uh, so what's the plan here?

Because Ko 'Opua is notoriously uptight.

I can't imagine they'd cooperate

with any investigation if it'd

create any sense of alarm.

Yeah, they're not gonna want
to cooperate with investigators

hired by the kid
that they just suspended.

Which is why we are going undercover.

And what's your in?

Rick's buddy runs

the food and beverage side of things,

and he's agreed to hire us

as fill-in bartenders.

And I will be going in as a member.

Well, the wait list
at Ko 'Opua is six months,

uh, if not longer.

Yes, but clubs like Ko 'Opua
have reciprocal member programs

with other country clubs, so I'm going

to assume the identity of
a mainland guest who has access.

It's kind of a small program,

so there aren't that many
members to choose from,

but after narrowing it down
to age, race, and sex,

looks like there is one viable member.

Hmm. You think you can pull it off?

Quite sure.

Oh, this'll be fun.

("DO YOUR WORST" BY RIVAL SONS PLAYING)

♪ See that stranger coming up the hill ♪

♪ Oh, my, oh, my baby ♪

♪ Devil's gonna get you
if I don't first ♪

♪ Take my body and do your worst. ♪

Welcome to Ko 'Opua, Miss Halstead.

Can we help you with your clubs?

(SOUTHERN ACCENT): Well,
they ain't gonna unload themselves

now, sugar, are they?

- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)
- And "Miss Halstead"

sounds like a second-grade teacher.

Call me Harper.

Well, this ain't too shabby.

Your home course is just as nice.

Treesdale?

It's fine, but the Texas heat is brutal.

I mean, you can just fry an egg
right there on the cart path.

I've heard. I'm actually friends
with the golf pro there.

Oh, you-you don't say.

Well, best pro in the Lone Star State.

We are very lucky to have him.

Well, "her."

Becky's the golf pro there.

Oh, sweetie pie, you haven't heard?

Becky was just fired.

What? Oh, my God, we just texted,

and she didn't mention anything.

Well, we are letting her
finish out the month

until the new guy arrives.

Um, you know, she's
probably just embarrassed.

I would let her bring it up.

- Thank you for the heads-up.
- It's no problem.

So, who have I got to massage
around here to get a tee time?

I'd be happy to get you one.

♪ Tubby Love got your backs,
yeah, all right... ♪

- Hey, um, what's in a sidecar?
- Ah, come on.

Even a fake bartender
should know what's in that.

Well, I know what's in a sidecar,

but do you know what's in a sidecar?

Orange liqueur, cognac, lemon juice.

You want to know
what's in a gin and tonic, too?

- (LAUGHS)
- (PHONE DINGS)

- ♪ Well, these days it's hard to be... ♪
- You good?

Yeah, yeah, uh, Higgy's about

- to tee off with the suspects.
- WOMAN: Yoo-hoo!

Um...

- Psst.
- Hey, I think someone's

trying to get your attention.

Hey.

You know what? Cover for me.

I'm gonna go meander for a little bit,

- check things out.
- Got it.

- Hi. What can I get you?
- Erin.

And I'll have another vodka soda,

your phone number,
and some maraschino cherries.

Got it. Uh, I can get you two
of the three things.

I pick your number and your number.

I'm not really giving out
my number right now.

I kind of just got out of something.

I'm cool with that.

I've grabbed more rebounds
than LeBron James.

(CHUCKLES) Okay.

Thanks. It's okay.

Tell your niece I said
it's nice to meet her.

I don't need to, dude.

She understood every word you just said.

Joon here is an expert at reading lips.

So I just wanted to meet
here to show her the place.

Uh, we'll be at my booth.

Just bring me my usual?

And your usual is what?

(LAUGHING): That's a...
that's a good one, TC.

Uh, and Joon here will have
a virgin Lava Flow.

Chop-chop!

Aloha. I saw the "Help Wanted"
sign out front.

Oh, yeah, that sign
is for a bartender, so,

come back in a few years
when you turn .

Yeah, I'm now.

You don't look .

I get that a lot.
I just turned in August.

Oh, so what year were you born?

Two thousand and, um...

(LAUGHS) Nice try, kid, but no dice.

What about a different job?

You got a bar, ten booths, tables.

This place isn't even half full,

and almost every table needs bussing.

What, are you casing the joint?

Just observant.

Yeah, well, we ain't hiring.

How about a car washing service?

- I could wash cars while customers...
- Kid, stop.

Look, I respect the hustle, but,

for the last time, no.

Sorry, but we're good.

All right, then.

(TIRES SQUEAK)

Hi!

Y'all Stan and Ollie?

I'm your third.

Now, boys, don't look too excited.

Sorry, it's-it's not like that.

It's just, we're gonna play
a serious round for money.

Oh.

Well, why didn't you say so?

I'm in. What are the stakes?

Thousand bucks for the round.

A thousand bucks? Really?

But you can play and not bet
if it's too much for you.

Too much? (CHUCKLES)

No. I'm just surprised
that a measly grand is enough

to tickle your pickle.

How about a thousand per hole?

If that's too much,

you can always just play and not bet.

No. No, we're in.

Of course we're in.

Game on. You can have the honors.

All right.

FYI, I take cash or PayPal.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

Finally. Hey, uh, Rick,

- could you cover for me?
- Yeah, I got it.

Got your drinks.
Something pretty for you.

- Enjoy, guys.
- Thank you.

- MAN: Very nice.
- Appreciate it. All right.

Ooh! Oh!

So sorry. Oh, my God. I'm such an idiot.

- You okay? Here, let me...
- You don't have... you don't have...

- It wasn't your fault... No problem.
- Please let me. No, I-I'm s...

I turned around, and you were
right there. I'm so sorry.

- I'm new to this, man. I'm sorry.
- I'm fine... I'm fine.

(BEEP)

Come on.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

(DING)

Unbelievable. I mean, I
can't even keep track

- of how much we're down.
- Well,

I can help you there, honey.

After nine holes,
you're down four grand each.

Yeah, yeah. Plenty of golf to play.

And that's what I'm worried about.

Yeah. So, uh,

you, uh, thinking about
joining here as a full member?

Well, you know, I would,

but I just can't tolerate riffraff.

I heard there was a couple sets
of clubs stolen recently.

Well, that was just an isolated thing.

And they caught the kid
that stole 'em, thanks to Stan.

You caught the thief, Stan?

Yeah. Yeah, well, uh, no.

I just witnessed him taking 'em.

He's just being humble. If it
weren't for Stan, they wouldn't

have been reported stolen yet.

The owners aren't even on Oahu.

- What do you mean?
- They shipped them in

ahead of time through Club Club.

And what is Club Club?

Hey, you want a hot dog, Harper?

Uh, no, thanks.

I'm gonna go and flirt with
that cutie behind the bar there,

and I ain't leaving till I get
his number, so take your time.

- (NORMAL VOICE): Hi.
- Hey.

Did I hear you call me a cutie?

Well, Harper clearly has
questionable taste.

Okay, so I was able to, uh,
get the security footage.

I couldn't place Trevor
at the time of the theft,

but I did find something interesting.

HIGGINS: Hmm.

That is a very nice watch for a caddie.

MAGNUM: That's what I was thinking.
Guy's name is Benji,

and I got to get a closer look
at the watch to see

if it's actually a real Rolex.

If it is, this guy could
be worth looking into.

Agreed. Well, I have something, as well.

So the stolen bags were recently

shipped here using Club Club.

It's a service that transports golf bags

between country clubs around the world.

I also learned that those bags are kept

in a far more secure area
of the storage locker

than the members' bags.

That's odd. If you're gonna steal clubs,

why not get the ones
that are easier to grab?

Right? May I?

Yeah, yeah.

It's gonna take

just a minute to get past the firewall.

You know, I know you're
in character, but, uh,

you seem to really fit
in here. Thought you said

your dad was like a tough,
blue-collar kind of guy.

He was, but,

you know, my mum was kind of posh.

So, who do you take after...
Your mom or your dad?

I think I take after them both.

I couldn't agree more.

(COMPUTER CHIRPS)

I'm in.

All right, so according to Club Club,

three bags were delivered to Ko 'Opua,

but according to Ko 'Opua,

those bags were never logged
into their system.

That's weird, because only
two bags were reported stolen.

Why didn't the owner of the
third bag report it missing?

- It's just strange.
- It gets stranger.

Most shipments made
by Club Club are round trip,

but the stolen bag
that wasn't reported missing

was only shipped one way.

In fact, that account
only ever ships bags one way.

Each time from South Africa to Oahu.

South Africa's one of the
world's largest producers

of platinum, diamonds,

and a bunch of other
very expensive things.

My gut is saying
that someone is using Club Club

to smuggle a bunch of goods.

Well, the average weight
of the bags shipped

by that account is pounds.

An actual set of clubs is, what,

- pounds?
- If that.

Somebody's definitely shipping
something other than clubs.

Yeah. I think your gut is right.

You think the thief knew
there was something other

than golf clubs in that bag?

I'm not sure. I mean, they could
have just been trying to steal clubs

and then stumbled
upon the smuggled goods.

Do you know who it was addressed to?

Because if the thief did know,
that could be a lead.

Yeah. It was addressed to a John Mills,

which doesn't match
any of the members' names.

I mean, it might just be an alias

that the smuggler's using
to personally pick up.

Or he could have an inside man.

Or an inside woman.

Why is it always an inside man?

Women are just as capable
of being... inside.

Erin, how long you been listening?

Not very. But it sounds like
you're up to something sneaky.

Is this related to why L.R.
unplugged that security camera earlier?

L.R.?

Latin Rick.

(RICK LAUGHS SOFTLY)

Look, I'm happy to keep my mouth shut

for whatever it is you're up to...

...if Rick gives me his number.

You ready for the back nine, Harper?

(SOUTHERN ACCENT):
Uh, yeah. I'm-I'm coming.

Accent change.

This is getting juicier by the second.

(NORMAL VOICE): Take one for the team.

Right. I'm gonna keep pressing Stan.

I'm gonna go see if I can track
down the Rolex-wearing caddie.

So,

how about that number?

If you stay quiet about this,
I'll give it to you.

- Yeah, you will.
- My number.

Look, I'm not open to dating.

It's not just you. It's anybody.

You really did get out of something.

It's not an excuse?

No, no, it's not.
Somebody very special to me

is kind of out of my life right now.

I actually just got out
of something, too,

but not like you.

I escaped a bad situation
with a really possessive guy,

and it wasn't good.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

But I'm happy you're out of it now.

Everyone here thinks

I'm just a party girl
having a midlife crisis,

but the truth is,

I missed out on my prime.

I'm just trying to enjoy
the life I never got to live.

And after I aced
medical school, I was like,

"Do I really want to be
Oahu's best heart surgeon?"

That's when I started
investing in Bitcoin.

_

_

One day. It's all tied up
in the businesses I own.

La Mariana, my ABC Stores,
Island Hoppers.

_

Yeah, I just don't want
to brag about it.

I have a lot of great ideas
to make things way better

than they are.

Mm.

Virgin Lava Flow for the young lady.

And for you, Jin...

Your usual... half coffee,
half orange juice,

with a sh*t of tabasco.

Yay, my usual.

Why don't you go ahead and take a sip,

make sure I made it
just the way you like it?

That's a good idea, TC.

Yeah.

(QUIETLY): Right.

_

_

Ah. "Thursday is Bring Hoa Aloha
to School Day.

"Bring in someone special...
A grown-up, relative or friend...

To talk about what they do."

You want to bring me to school?

What an honor.

Um, but I'm pretty busy next week.

I probably wouldn't be able to attend.

_

_

(SILVERWARE CLINKING)

You got to be kidding me.

What are you doing?

Plates and cups first.
Terry in the back said

I needed to separate the silverware.

Terry in the back? And where'd
you get that shirt?

It was hanging on the wall.

That's 'cause it's for sale.

Look, dude, you can't just
start working somewhere,

especially after I told you
no, like, six times.

Now take that shirt off
and get out of here

before I really lay it down.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

What's a kid like you need a job
so bad for anyway?

There's an old Chevy on sale. bucks.

It's a clunker, but it runs.

Kids like me... We got to earn it,

so I got to start saving now.

I get where you're coming from.
Believe me.

But you can't just
start working somewhere.

That's crazy.

I know.

I'll tell you what.

In the parking lot, there's
an orange and brown van.

Now, you mentioned washing cars.

You do a good job detailing it,
there's bucks in it for you.

You serious?

I said if you do a good job.

Deal.

All right.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Ooh, look at that.

That is a nice-looking replica.

I got a... got a knock-off myself.

No, man. This is real, dude.

- Is that real?
- Yeah.

Let me see that. Got the sapphire dial.

Got the Rolex crown in the back.

Got a Rolex guy you can hook me up with?

Nah, man. It's just a family watch.
Grandad gave it to my dad

when he was a kid, and now it's mine.

Well, you are a lucky guy.

Enjoy your round.

(PHONE BUZZES)

Hey, where are you?

Walking back, and I got some news.

Caddie's Rolex is real,

so he's lying
about where he got it from.

How do you know?

Well, because that Submariner's
from the early s,

so there's no way
it could've been handed down

through generations like he said.

Okay, well, we'll keep tabs on him.

My news is better.

You know
this isn't a competition, right?


True, but my news is objectively bigger.

Kumu called and said that none
of the local pawnshops

have had anyone try
to sell them any golf clubs.

But one guy had a customer come in

and try to sell him ivory tusks
out of a gold travel bag.

Unfortunately, security camera
didn't capture his face.

Oh, ivory would warrant
an illegal smuggling operation.

Plus, it would explain
the weight of the bag.

Mm-hmm. We have to notify HPD.

(PHONE RINGING)

What do you need, Magnum?

So, uh, we're working a case,

and we uncovered
an illegal smuggling operation.

Who are the major players
in ivory dealing?

There's only one. Zev Marker.

He's as slippery as he is dangerous.

Never been able
to pin anything on him because

we could never figure out
how he got his shipments in.

They got something on Zev?

HIGGINS:
We're trying to track down a bag

with pounds' worth of ivory in it.

I'm gonna look into this Zev guy

and see if there's any connection.

Great. The black market price

for ivory's about $ , a pound.

So that bag's worth over grand.

If that's just one shipment,
th-this guy's a big part

of the illegal ivory trade here.

I mean, these people are awful.

Tens of thousands of
elephants are k*lled

every year for their tusks.

Yeah, definitely keep us
in the loop on this one.

If your case is connected
to Zev, we need to know.

Yeah, we will, absolutely. Thank you.

(PHONE BEEPS OFF)

What's that look?

I like your girlfriend.

All right. Looks like Zev is
trying to hide his financials

using accounts with aliases,

but he made all his transactions
on his laptop,

including payments to Club Club
for multiple shipping orders.

- That's our guy.
- Yeah, and he landed

in Oahu today from South Africa
via Los Angeles.

I'm gonna ping him now. Wait.

Looks like he's close
to Trevor's apartment.

Yeah, and he's moving closer.

HIGGINS: If Zev is trying
to track down his ivory,

and he's found out that the club

is pinning the stolen bag on Trevor...

- Then Trevor's in danger.
- Yeah.

(SPORTSCASTER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY ON TV)

- SPORTSCASTER: Ah, that's a great stroke.
- (PHONE DINGING)

yards right on the green...

Hello?

- Trevor, listen to me carefully.
- Mr. Magnum?

Armed men are pulling up
to your house any second now.

What? Why?

They think you have something
of theirs, right?

But tell 'em you don't have it,
but you know who does.

What do you mean? Who?

Me. Tell 'em I have
what they're looking for.

That is the only thing
that's gonna keep you alive.

Oh, hey, hey, hey. Hey, no,
no, no. What are you doing?

What are you doing?! No, no, no!

No!

(TIRES SQUEALING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

He's gone.

(PHONE RINGING)

It's Trevor.

Don't bother tracing this.

I'm tossing his cell
right after you agree

to give me back my ivory.

As long as you return
our friend unharmed,

we can work something out,
but I'm gonna need time.

I'll call you in four hours.

Nah. Nah, nah, nah. I call you.

You make sure you have my bag.

And you got two hours.

(CLICKS)

We have two hours
to trade Trevor for the ivory.

Great. Only problem is,

we don't have the ivory.

(SIGHS)

You got to be kidding me.

Nope. Did the exterior trim,

dressed the tires,
and treated the vinyl.

Check under the hood.

(TRUCK DOOR CLOSES)

Damn!

You could eat off this engine.

I'm still not done. Haven't even
shampooed the mats yet.

You know what? You got the job.

I know. We already shook on it.
You owe me bucks.

No, I'm talking about the job
at La Mariana.

You're kidding.

(SCOFFS) Nope.
You keep up this level of hustling

and attention to detail, we'll
find something for you to do.

Yes!

(LAUGHS)

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Okay, kid. Just don't let me down.

(LAUGHS)

Hey, you all right?

Yeah, yeah. Joon is playing pool,

and I wanted to catch
some fresh air. I'm fine.

Okay.

Hey, where are you going?

Said you were fine.

Yeah, but I said it in a way
that was obvious that I'm not.

It's called a cry for help, TC.

(SIGHS) Jin, what's on your mind?

(SIGHS)

I remember when I used
to send my sister money.

I couldn't tell Joon that the money was

from pulling shady jobs,
so I lied about what I did.

And then she started looking up to me,

and I lied some more,

and I lied some more.

And it's finally caught up to me.

That's why you didn't want to go
to her school thing... Hoa Aloha.

I mean, I want to, but I have
to clear the air first,

and... that's heavy.

It is, but if there's
one thing I learned today,

it's that you'd be surprised at
what these kids are capable of.

Look, Joon's a strong girl.

I'm sure if you told her the truth,

she'll be able to handle it.

Whoa. Coming in hot. This about our bet?

(NORMAL VOICE):
No, you can keep your money.

We just want to ask you some questions.

What questions?
And what's with your voice?

I've dropped the act,
and now so should you.

We're private investigators
working on a case

that you are now in the middle of

since you claimed to have seen
Trevor steal some golf clubs.

You're doing an investigation
over stolen clubs?

Look, I just thought
he'd get a slap on the wrist.

I didn't think he'd lose his job.

No, this is about a lot more
than somebody losing their job.

- What do you mean?
- There was something else in that bag

that belongs to somebody who
you don't want to mess with.

And now Trevor's life is at stake,

so you have to tell us what you know.

Okay.

Uh, look, w-work's been slow.

I was behind on my golf dues

and on the brink of
losing my membership.

I actually saw who stole the clubs.

It was Jaime, the
manager, so I texted him,

and we worked out a deal that
if I threw Trevor under the bus,

that he'd wipe out my dues

and put me in good standing.

I didn't think it'd get this serious.

Look,

if there's anything else I can do...

MAGNUM: Yeah.

Unlock your phone.

- Look, I really am sorry.
- _

Well, you better hope
we get what we need

from Jaime for Trevor's sake.

_

- He's running.
- Yeah.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

(ENGINE REVS, TIRES SQUEAL)

MAN: Wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing?

Oh, my God.

(TIRES SQUEALING)

(HORNS HONKING)

You know, that's a surprisingly
good look for you.

- Blue car?
- MAGNUM: Stolen car.

I didn't have a choice.

(TIRES SQUEALING)

Well, let's hope
the owner has good insurance.

Why? You're the reckless one. Remind me

how many blemishes the has suffered.

That were my fault? None.

(TIRES SQUEALING)

Okay, I have an idea.

Does it involve hoping
the car has full coverage?

Unfortunately, yes.

Okay, I'm coming up next to him.

All right.
I'll clear the cars behind us.

(TIRES SQUEALING)

(GROANING)

(GROANING)

Where's the ivory?

I don't have it. I swear to God.

- Please don't k*ll me.
- k*ll you?

You're with the smugglers, right?

No, but those men took Trevor

because of you, so we need that ivory.

(PANTING)

- Now!
- I honestly don't have it.

When I couldn't unload it and
learned how much heat there was,

I threw it in the ocean.

It's gone, I swear.

Okay, come on.

Sit down.

(GROANING)

- I believe him.
- Yeah.

Thing is, we have minutes

to make the trade,
and nothing to trade with.

- We're out of moves.
- No, maybe not.

We get back to the club,
we got to find Benji.

The caddie with the Rolex we
saw on the security footage?

Yeah.

Hey, it's me. I need a favor.

So, where is my bag?

Did you expect me
to bring pounds of ivory?

I mean, have you seen the
trunk space in these things?

You can barely fit groceries in 'em.

You know, if you want
your friend back alive,

you need to give me my bag.

I don't think so.

You're gonna give me Trevor, and
we're gonna drive out of here.

(LAUGHS)

And what makes you think I'd do that?

Because my partner's
at your stash house.

If I'm not out of here
in seconds with Trevor,

she's gonna burn your mother lode

of ivory down to the ground.

Yeah, nice try.

I got a man on guard.

You mean, uh,

this guy?

How did you...?

Find your place? We talked
to your inside guy at the club.

Benji, I believe his name is.
Very helpful.

You got seconds.

You're bluffing.

You won't burn anything down

as long as I got the kid.

You want to find out, you're
working with seconds now.

Look, I just want Trevor.

All right? I don't care
about your ivory.

Now text your partner.

It's done.

Like I said, I don't
care about your ivory.

- They might.
- (SIRENS CHIRPING)

(SIRENS WAILING)

Hands! Hey! Look, let me see your hands.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Go, go, go!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Hands! Keep your hands up!

Move!

(GRUNTING)

That's it. Don't move.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

_

I have something important to tell you,

and I want to enunciate it clearly.

_

Okay, so, a lot of the stories

that I told you about what I do...

Well, they're just that... stories.

Uh, the... the truth is,

when I helped you and your
mother out back in the day,

I had to do a lot of jobs
that I'm not proud of.

Jobs that you might not want

your Uncle Jin telling your classmates.

Why are you smiling?

_

_

You still want me to come?

_

_

That will never change.

You know, I don't know what
I'm gonna tell your class.

I'm out of work,
I literally have nothing.

All I have is that stupid
mobile billboard thing.

_

That's right.

I'm in advertising.

Imagine all the things
that I could advertise.

Like, you know, um,
toothpaste or a law firm

or, you know, exotic animals,
like a honey badger,

or, like, high-tech
oven mitts. Who knows?

("AIN'T LOOKIN'"
BY THE WILD FEATHERS PLAYING)

♪ Love is what you find when it
ain't what you're looking for ♪

♪ I ain't looking for love no more ♪

♪ I ain't looking for love no more ♪

♪ 'Cause love is what you find ♪

♪ When it ain't
what you're looking for... ♪

How's Ethan?

Oh, he's great.

He's so great that he's gonna stay

in Kenya for another six months.

Oh. Are you serious? You okay?

I'm fine. But I would be better
with a drink in my hand.

I'm on it.

TREVOR: Hey, guys.

MAGNUM: Hey, how you doing?

- Good to see you, man.
- What's up, man?

- Have a beer.
- Oh, thank you.

Appreciate it. Um,

just wanted to say thanks.

Not only is Ko 'Opua my sponsor again.

They felt so bad about what
happened that they gifted me

a full membership to the club.

- Oh!
- That is amazing!

- Congratulations.
- Cheers.

- Congratulations.
- KUMU: Nice. Congratulations.

- HIGGINS: That's so exciting.
- Ooh.

Yo, table nine's asking
for another round.

Okay, copy that.

Also, who the hell are you?

Cade. TC hired me.
It was nice to meet you.

- (LAUGHTER)
- MAGNUM: There you go.

- I've been meaning to tell you.
- Uh-huh. Huh.

Rick, I tried to warn him not

to hire anybody without your permission.

Oh, thank you, Jin. Thank you.

Are you serious? Oh, I tried...

You know, now is not the time.
My friend Erin's here. Erin!

- HIGGINS: Erin, hi!
- MAGNUM: Hey, there she is.

Me! Oh, my God, this place is amazing.

This is great, Rick.
Thank you for the invite.

Oh, come on. Of course.

I mean, why settle for one number

when you can have , am I right?

- So much fresh meat.
- Uh-oh.

I feel like The Bachelorette.

(LAUGHTER)

Okay, I'm going in.

Easy, tiger.

- Easy, tiger.
- (WHOOPING)

This I got to see.

- Somebody should warn them.
- (HIGGINS LAUGHS)

- Cheers to The Bachelorette.
- (LAUGHTER)
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