1/2 New Year (2019)
[upbeat music playing]
We're all a family.
You know?
- To us.
- All: Cheers.
Izzie: We're a weird tight-knit group of f*cked up people who found each other in this town.
Reed: Hey, Reed Worlders!
Thank you so much for tuning in!
I hope that you are liking the festival coverage this summer that we've had so far.
I have so much more coming up for you including an interview with The Rift & Le Youth!
So look forward to that in the next few weeks.
Also, this weekend is 1/2 New Year.
because it's the last Saturday in June.
So make sure you celebrate with your friends.
You have six months in, you got six months more to go.
All of my shows are now gonna be brought to you by Infinite CBD, which is my favorite CBD oil, and I'm putting the link down in the bio as well as a little discount.
Go for it.
And make sure that you like, subscribe and share.
[laughs]
Oh.
What're you doing?
I was f*cking...
- Ewe.
- Myself.
- Gross.
- No, I'm on a bike.
Well, what happened to "I'll call you when I'm done"?
I know, I know, it took forever.
And then my mom called, so it was like this whole thing.
Got it.
Is it gonna be like champagne time or like shitty tequila, straight from the bottle?
- Pop that bubbly.
- Damn.
Oh good.
Dude, I knew you'd crush it.
Thanks for helping me study.
Those flash cards saved my life.
Yeah.
I'm the, I'm the king of that... flash carding and sh*t.
Yeah.
Soon it's gonna be like, "Oh, our favorite vet tech, Brynn, will take your pup to the back now.
Can you just surround me with puppies for the rest of my life, please?
That's all I want.
Are you gonna die an old dog lady?
Um, I mean, at this point, it's the best case scenario.
So, yeah, probably.
I got the sponsorship.
- Shut the f*ck up!
- I swear.
All you need to do is just get a few more sponsors, and then, like maybe in a year you can quit your job.
- Uh.
Things are happening.
- I know.
We're really doing it.
Uh, listen.
I'm gonna get ready.
- Okay, have fun on your bike.
- Bye.
- f*ck you.
- Mm-hmm.
- You're not dressed?
- I am skipping it, man.
Nah, it's not a good idea.
I'm not gonna let you isolate.
- So nice try.
- Look.
I don't need the whole world that I f*cked up, - okay?
- All right.
But you're not the only person who's ever gotten fired before.
And, also, if I put the tail between your legs, it's kinda like you have this like lion d*ck thing, like a hairy beefy, like d*ck tail, like a lion d*ck, like a, like a meat hairy cock lunch, lion sandwich.
You're like the shittiest version of Simba imaginable.
Dude...
- Dude, please don't text her, - Ah...
I gotta make one.
- [outgoing text tone sounds]
Who uses their birth date as their passcode?
[incoming text tone sounds]
Well, she's in.
So, brush your teeth, wash your face, get lion'd out and, um, let's have a nice party.
What do you say?
Huh?
Huh?
I don't know how the f*ck you do this sh*t.
It's a gift and a curse.
Uh, drink time.
Oh!
[music playing]
[Blake]
All right, guys.
Happy 1/2 New Year.
[music playing loudly]
Cheers.
Woo!
Light it up.
Light it up!
All: [chanting]
Light it up!
Girl: Don't you just love the way LA brings people together.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Because, you know, just, it has to do with, you know, survival.
You know, it really depends on that.
- You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, absolutely.
Um...
Well, uh, you know what?
I need a, a drink.
Why don't you go, go that way.
Just, yeah.
See you in a bit.
Oh, thank-- thanks.
- Nice one.
- Hi.
- Who was that?
- I have no f*cking idea.
Where is Bishop?
- Uh, probably hiding.
- Probably hiding?
Okay?
Uh, go pour a sh*t down his throat and find me later.
- Funny.
- Oh, funny.
I fricken love this life.
You look good for a tiger.
[sighs]
Hiya Chilly.
Long time no see.
[background chatter]
Are you gonna...
Oh, you're so loud right now.
- Just shut up.
- Screening your calls?
- Oh.
- Oh.
Looks like you didn't miss me much.
Oh my God!
You made it.
MM, you're late.
Yeah.
- Ooh.
- Ut oh.
I have got to go take this.
- Man about a horse.
- Take it.
- Girl?
- dr*gs.
Oh, because this is such a special occasion?
- Don't be Judgy.
- Yeah.
Well, dr*gs are bad, okay?
- [together]
Mm.
You know that I work more than 80 hours a week, right?
No.
Yeah, and I get maybe five times a year that I get high?
- Five?
- And Coachella, but that counts as one, so it's still five.
Okay, you're being annoying right now.
- Do you want to drink?
- Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's go get you your own 'cause you can't have that whole thing.
You're gonna be puking later, and I'm not cleaning that up again.
f*ck.
You scared the sh*t out of me, babe.
That's it.
I'm done.
What are you, what are you talking about?
I saw you getting into that same sedan.
Come on, babe.
That is not... at all what it looks like.
Really?
Because this is what it looks like.
I got it for the party.
I may do a couple of lines with Reed.
- That's it.
- That's what you said last time.
And then you went on a bender all night and spent the next morning crying in my lap telling me how you don't wanna do this anymore.
Look.
I get it.
That is not going to happen this time.
Okay?
You said you wanted to marry me.
I do want to marry you, babe.
You're not the same when you're all coked out.
You're a d*ck to me and to all of your friends.
I don't want to spend the rest of my life with that, Josh.
I don't even want to be f*cking friends with that Josh.
- I am not that Josh.
- No, you're not.
And that's what I'm afraid of.
Okay.
[upbeat music playing]
[cheering]
- Yeah, baby.
- You're making a mess.
Bishop, get off my d*ck.
Everybody, yo!
- Happy 1/2 New Year.
- All: Woo!
You guys are super coked out right now, huh?
Emma.
Emma.
Emma.
We put things up our noses.
We enjoy our youth.
That's us.
That girl over there is eye-f*cking the sh*t out of you.
I bet you 20 bucks she's not wearing panties.
That's Megan.
She lives across the street.
- Okay, so hit it.
- She's not really my type.
If you do not f*ck her, we cannot be friends.
Reed: You can't live without me.
Half true.
Okay.
What you got for me?
Um, Kevin Chandler is single again.
- Mm-mm.
- Uh-huh.
- No.
- Uh-huh.
- What do I do?
- Uh, well considering you're wearing panties, just boomerang 'em into his face.
- Ewe, that's gross.
- I need more of this.
Just be you.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Go team.
- All right.
Go get 'em, tiger.
- Lion.
- Rarrr.
Does it really make you feel sexy?
Why, you wanna, wanna have a little taste?
Wanna have a little taste?
Ooh!
You crazy.
You gettin' crazy up in here.
Oh, okay.
Up the sh**t.
Up the sh**t.
Dude, my sister is right over there.
f*ck her.
That's, that's great.
- Bro.
- You should just continue to...
Okay, that's disgusting.
- Hey.
- Is not great.
Are you okay?
I'm f*cking great.
- How you doing?
- I'm fine.
You just seem a little...
I'm a big f*cking boy.
Okay, I'm just checking on you.
Okay, stop doing so much.
Why don't you get a drink?
Okay?
I'm gonna do whatever the f*ck I want to do.
- All right, then.
- Okay?
You hang tight.
Okay.
I will.
And what just went up your nose?
- My allowance.
- Be careful.
- Yes, dad.
- So... what's your 1/2 New Year resolution?
Um, to get out more to nature - and get her off my phone.
- Yeah, that's happening.
It can happen.
What's yours?
Mm, stop eating hoagies.
- I'm getting fat ass.
- Again?
It can happen.
Yeah.
Guys.
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Countdown.
All: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one...
Happy 1/2 New Year!
What's the matter?
Calm down.
- Calm down.
- I need everyone - to get the f*ck out.
- Dude, you're just...
- You don't f*cking get it.
- Stop.
I don't want everyone to see him like this.
Everyone outside for the fireworks.
Reed: Chill out.
You all right?
Dude, chill out.
You're okay.
- Put down the f*cking camera.
- No way, dude.
Dude, turn the camera off.
Please?
Dude, put down the f*cking camera.
I'm gonna show you this when you're sober, and you're gonna f*cking see it.
Stop, stop, stop.
Ugh!
What the f*ck is wrong with you?
You f*cking crazy?
Josh!
It's okay.
It's okay, babe.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I know, mom.
It's a 36 hour drive.
I did it five years ago, remember?
Can you not stress me out right now?
I got a lot of sh*t to do.
I got to go.
I love you.
Bye.
Knock, knock.
Mom's gonna drive me to drink.
What'd she say now?
She's worried about me driving cross-country.
Well, then tell mommy to pay to have all your sh*t shipped over.
God, she has been begging you to move home for five years.
If she wants something so bad, maybe she should do it herself.
Still pissed at her?
No.
I brought wine.
Want some?
The girls and I are gonna watch Real Housewives reruns and talk sh*t.
When was the last time you saw me drinking anything alcoholic?
Maybe that's your problem, Reed.
You've been in this ridiculous funk for almost a year.
And to be honest, sometimes you're a real f*cking pain in the ass to be around.
- You can leave now, Pam.
- Ah, what?
a dose of reality too hard for you?
By, Pam.
He's in a mood.
Again.
Be careful.
I know.
I know.
She's my sister.
She's just trying to help.
I get it.
- Yeah.
- I get it.
I brought tequila.
Mm.
Just have a drink with me.
I have a lot of packing to do.
This might be the last time we get to do this.
- You know we'll still talk, right?
- Yeah, of course.
And then you'll get busy and then I'll get busy, and then it'll be next year at the 1/2 New Year's party and I'll be like, "I don't know Reed.
Who's Reed?" That's not true.
- That's not true at all.
- Okay.
So get your d*ck out of your p*ssy and have a drink with me.
- Glasses, ice?
- All of the above.
There's this one time this girl pulled her hair.
- Scary.
- Whoa.
Come hangout with us, Reed.
Um, Brynn's gonna help me pack.
You know you could always say f*ck packing and just stay here in LA.
Softer touches.
He needs a swift kick in the ass.
Shut up.
Bishop's studying.
Whatever.
Your boyfriend's a dork.
Anyways.
I know.
- Finally.
- Hmm.
You gonna fold my clothes for me or what?
- You wish.
- I pour.
That's more than enough.
You can finish the rest of this.
Okay.
- To your life in LA.
- Yes.
Though it was paved with heartbreak and a mass layoff, it was for filled with a lot of great memories.
Cheers.
And you'll always have a home here.
And I'm drunk.
With Blake and Bishop.
- And Josh.
- Hey.
[upbeat music playing]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Is there coffee?
- French roast.
Oh, you're too good to me.
Avocado toast?
Yeah.
Oh, you did it the way I like it.
Is everything ready for tonight?
Yeah, yeah just, uh, you know, decorations, DJ, just need help setting up.
Where is everyone?
They're still sleeping.
What about the surprise?
Right, uh...
I think he'll love it.
You know, he'll pretend to hate it, but he'll love it.
You know, I still love you, right?
Nothing's changed.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
This is so f*cked up.
Izzie: It was just the whiskey.
This is the fifth time.
I know that.
- Was it me?
- Obviously not.
Well, last year, we were all over each other.
So, what, you're saying you liked me better when I needed a bump - in the morning to get going?
- I don't know.
What do you want me to say?
It was better then.
It's still good.
We haven't had sex in a month.
Look.
I'm just going through some sh*t right now, okay?
We'll get back on track.
Yeah.
I'm sure we will.
Together: I think we should break up.
And why are you in my bed?
I can't hear you.
I'm pretending to sleep.
You know the rules.
No sex, no bed.
What?
Where'd we end up last night?
Did you blackout?
No.
You don't remember anything?
It's foggy.
We finished four bottles of wine.
Oh, f*ck.
Why did you let me do that?
I have so much packing to do.
You're so loud.
I got a pee.
Just don't be a crybaby.
- Oh my God!
- Oh my God!
- You're a pig!
- I'm sorry.
Marty?
What the f*ck did you do to my sister?
- He didn't do anything to me.
- You mean, you let him?
What's it to you?
f*cking Marty?
Oh, I have seen the girls you've boned.
You let him bone you?
Out!
- You're f*cking dead.
- Out!
So, like what happened?
- What do you mean?
- Ah, we were on the couch, we're watching a movie, and then...
Yeah, and then you passed out on the couch, and I took a vantage of your empty bed so.
But then I woke up and I came in here?
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know.
I was pretty drunk, too.
Oh, okay.
Um, well, I have a lot of packing to do.
And I have boot camp.
You know Pam.
I do.
Um, I'll see you tonight.
Yeah, I'll see you tonight.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Get me stoned, get me a hoagie, get me anything to get rid of this hangover.
I think I'm gonna puke.
I have sex d*ck.
Sex d*ck?
I don't understand.
I mean, why would she just...
Hello, sex d*ck?
English please.
Pam, it's latex, lube, bodily fluids on your business.
You had sex with Brynn.
I don't remember any of it.
Hey.
This is a good thing.
I always knew you guys would end up together.
She was gonna walk out and act like nothing happened.
Oh.
I'll talk to her.
No, you won't talk to her.
You won't say anything.
You won't say anything to any of the girls, - to anyone else.
- Fine!
My lips are sealed.
Can I borrow a shirt of yours?
No.
We just broke up.
I'm not gonna let you borrow anything.
My dress smells like beer.
Oh, oh, really?
So you're 13 now?
Here.
I'm gonna try and get some sleep.
Hey, I don't care if you're naked.
Bishop, what the f*ck?
I'm out.
Oh, okay.
Get your ass up, brush your teeth, wash your bones.
One of those is not optional, by the way.
Come out here and help me.
And, what the hell was that?
- Nothing.
- Okay.
You're lying to me.
Hurts.
Get up.
We got sh*t to do.
[music playing]
Reed: Hey, Reed rollers, it is with a heavy heart that I'm announcing that I'm going to be moving out of LA and back to my hometown of Philadelphia.
Thank you all so much for all of your support.
I can't wait to see what the future holds because, um...
I don't know.
But it should be fun so.
There we go.
Are you making jungle juice?
Summer beer.
It's so hot out.
So you're really having this party tonight, huh?
Uh, yeah.
It's tradition, man.
- And you know...
- You don't break tradition.
I know.
Look.
It's your last one.
We're doing this for you.
I just don't want to have to explain to a million people that I'm leaving.
Just tell 'em you want to be closer to your family.
Okay, then don't say that.
It's just not fun to admit that you're a failure.
Dude, you're not a failure.
You're just...
You're just broke, okay?
So go home, save up, and come back.
I mean, does anyone listen to me?
You don't just go home and come back.
You get ties, you get a job, you get responsibilities.
You just become my parents, basically.
Look.
Can you at least fake a smile?
Like a small one?
It's gonna be fun.
I promise.
- I'll be in my room.
- Dude.
I can't get through to him.
I know.
You know, Josh would know what to say.
I know.
Can I get you anything else?
Well, that just cured my hangover.
Ooh, that guy is salty.
Be still my ovaries.
Did you see him eye f*ck your tits?
Why didn't he do it with mine?
Um, you have marijuana p*rn on your shirt.
I've hit rock bottom.
Okay.
I'm circling what everyone owes, 23% tip included, 20% is normal but 3% extra because I mean, look at him.
You're like a sexy rain man.
I'm just smarter than your average bear.
Okay, you need to leave your number on the table - when we go.
- No, don't do that.
No, I'm not in the mood.
All right.
I'm just gonna call him over here and tell him that Brynn wants to do very dirty things to him.
- She slept with Reed.
- What, Reed?
Why didn't you tell us?
Because he said he didn't remember.
- Are you sure?
- He honestly doesn't remember.
And told you all the details of something he doesn't remember.
- Mm-hmm.
- No, he sort of figured it out.
Have you girls ever heard of sex d*ck?
Oh.
[music playing]
f*ck.
This is crazy.
[knocking on door]
Hi.
Um, I may have the wrong house.
I'm looking for a Josh Mackey.
You're Blake, right?
Yeah.
I had an entire premonition about this during our meditation today.
I'm so glad to see you.
Come here.
Hugging.
I can tell by your aura that you're a good person, very compassionate and I, I know you're going to do the right thing.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I could see that.
It's a greenish purple, by the way.
This?
Your aura, yeah.
Okay.
Um, I'm gonna run.
Call me later, okay?
- Bye.
- Bye.
Dude.
You look good, man.
Thanks man.
Same.
How'd you, uh, how'd you know where to find me?
Bishop's been talking to your mom so.
- Yeah.
- She gave us the address.
Of course she did.
sh*t.
I'm so rude, man.
Come on in.
- Please.
- Yeah.
Absolutely.
This place is great.
Thank you, man.
Thank you.
It's, uh, it's a quiet neighborhood, but it's so nice here.
Yeah, it's a lot nicer than ours actually.
Well, I mean, you live in a child's playpen so.
So are you gonna ask me or...?
What're you talking about?
Come on, man.
Look.
I'm not, I'm not on any medication, and I'm, I'm doing okay, I'm doing better, and, um, f*ck man, I just want to, I just wanted to say sorry for so long.
Listen man, no judgment.
All right.
I was in a pretty shitty spot last year myself.
I appreciate that.
The hippie chick was cute.
Uh, no she's, she's been, uh, pretty she's been pretty pivotal.
It's a long story though.
Reed's moving back to Philly.
And you really think he's going?
He lost his job.
He lost his sponsorship.
He could use somebody to talk to, actually.
You come over here to, to ask me to just waltz back into a party and just be like, "Hey Reed, uh, what happened sucked and, you know, you should just stay because, because I'm here." Not in those words, but yeah, I do.
Look man.
I, I really appreciate you swinging through.
Look.
You know we all want you there.
You know you should be there.
Okay?
And if not, well, maybe we'll see you in another year.
[cell phone ringing]
Oh hi, it's you.
I was just thinking about you.
So how'd it go?
Okay, I need you to close your eyes, now in that darkness, I want you to look at your soul.
And I want you to talk to your soul...
Okay, okay, I'm gonna be right over, okay?
I'll bring all your favorite warm calming oils and essentials.
It'll be great, okay?
Now don't isolate.
Come on.
This is what I'm here for.
We've already been doing this for 19 minutes and 35 seconds.
Isn't that enough time to make a difference?
You counted that in your head?
I can't help it.
It just happens.
I can't believe Reed's leaving.
We begged him to stay.
- Like it's that easy.
- Just don't even think about getting into a long-distance relationship.
What's so bad about a long-distance relationship?
Everything.
No kissing.
No cuddling, no f*cking.
- It sucks.
- And no sucking either.
Why are you in such a bad mood anyways?
I'm in a great mood.
I'm too old for this sh*t.
Who wants a beer?
- I'll make mimosas.
- I'll help.
Hey!
I'm not done with you skinny b*tches yet.
- You're doing great.
- Hey, does anybody want to go halfsies on some blow tonight?
I thought you stopped doing that when you and Blake got together?
Yeah, well, Blake and I broke up so.
Get me a f*cking drink.
[woman]
How you feeling?
Are you feeling good?
That's right...
You are doing a terrible job at packing.
You know that, right?
Are you here to help or to judge?
Thanks.
Can you YouTube packing?
We should do dr*gs.
What?
Tonight.
I don't mess with that sh*t anymore.
Maybe some shrooms, maybe some molly.
I do still talk to the Messiah.
Yeah, yeah, let's go see him.
Okay, fine.
But don't be weird.
I'm not weird, you're weird.
- You're always weird.
- I'm not weird at all.
You're being weird right now calling me weird.
No, your face is weird.
Come on.
I just don't understand why a drug dealer...
- Stop it.
- ...would call himself the Messiah.
Look bro, that's his real name.
You're lying to me.
His mother actually thinks he's Jesus reincarnated.
- That's ridiculous.
- It's, it's insane.
Oh, I love him.
- My friends.
- Messiah.
Friend.
Hi.
Come, sit.
Please.
Tell me, how was your constipation enema?
Um, that wasn't us.
Thanks for seeing us on such short notice.
Same as last time?
Yeah, something fun.
Ah, yes.
The good sh*t.
Yeah.
Only the finest from the Messiah's fault.
I have the cocaine.
I have the ecstasy.
I have the angels dust...
Angel, angel dust?
- Do people still do that?
- Oh, yes.
Carl.
Oh, I think I met him.
That kind of makes sense.
- The mushrooms.
- Um...
Those are always a good time, especially in the jungle.
- Yeah they, they are.
- Yeah.
I think we're gonna stick with, um, the weed, uh, some molly, and, um, maybe just throw in a bag of coke, small bag of coke.
- Why are you doing coke?
- Shut up.
So tell me Blake, why did you and Isabella break up?
Excuse me, what?
The Messiah knows all.
Facebook.
Are we friends?
- Add me.
- Okay.
Love Facebook.
It just wasn't meant to be.
That's it.
All things are meant to be, my son.
You're like two years older than we are.
The Messiah has no age.
Oh.
We both wanted it to end, so it ended.
That's, that's it.
Sometimes things have to end before they can have a new beginning.
Oh my God.
You're Deepak Chopra under there, aren't you?
f*ck that soggy f*ck.
You know, it's like the great Will Smith always says, "If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it." - Oh yeah.
- He did.
- He does say that.
- Yeah, he did say that.
- Yeah.
- Um, so we're gonna pay.
Do you have cash on you?
Why do I have to pay?
I bought you that coffee before we got here.
That was like three dollars.
It's not gonna be three dollars.
- Why do I always have to get...
- Let this be a gift for you.
In exchange, you let me grace you with my presence at your party.
Yes, that'd be amazing.
Thank you.
Thank you, Messiah.
- Thanks.
- Sweet.
I'm glad you finally slept with Brynn.
You know, when one commits to one path, often another one falls in front of you.
Okay.
Uh, my meter's running.
See you tonight.
Thank you again.
I'll bring my dancing shoes.
No, no, no, no.
I hate that color.
- I like that color.
- It's too dark for her.
What're you talking about?
Everyone looks good in black.
You've never worn black in your life.
I'm quoting you.
Why are you being so argumentative?
Why are you being such a bitch?
Whoa.
Okay, one, because me being a bitch makes your life more interesting, you're welcome.
And two, I broke up with my boyfriend today.
What's your excuse?
Bishop proposed.
That's great news, right?
He proposed and he didn't get you a ring?
- He has it.
- Because you've said no?
Well, I didn't say yes.
It was beautiful and he was so sweet but everything flashed before me, a house, kids.
And all of a sudden, you don't want that anymore?
No.
I do, it's just once you do it you're kind of stuck.
What if I get depressed?
What if he gets cancer?
- What if her first kid gets...
- Okay, we get it.
Did you guys breakup?
No, of course not.
I love him.
I think maybe if I really loved him, I'd be able to do this.
Okay.
I just have to say, I do not support this at all.
- Izzie.
- No.
This is just like senior year.
- This is nothing like that.
- What happened senior year?
- That was totally different.
- She got a B- on her midterm.
Took her whole GPA down, and she quit.
- And she took off a semester.
- And I came back and I busted my ass to make it up.
You were a semester behind.
You were afraid of graduating, afraid of any change.
But you and Bishop don't have anything to be scared of.
Of course they do.
Sometimes you're gonna fight.
And sometimes you're gonna be really f*cking bored and one time you might come home and he's watching p*rn instead of f*cking you.
- Izzie!
- My point is you were scared of graduating, too.
And life after college hasn't been perfect either.
But look at you.
You're doing it.
So what do I do now?
Okay.
Mr. Deluca, I've been a very naughty...
[gasps, screams]
I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
I thought you were Reed.
No, no, definitely not Reed.
He left a bit ago.
Okay, then, I'll just wait for him.
You really don't have to wait in here.
Yeah, I'm gonna wait.
You're gonna wait.
You're gonna wait.
All right.
Cool.
- 'Kay bye.
- Yeah.
[groans]
- Whoa.
- Oh, Reed.
Hey.
What're you doing in my room?
Right, room.
Um, it's your room.
Right.
[stammering]
I was putting boxes in there.
- Okay.
Okay.
- Yeah.
- What's the matter with you?
- Look.
Megan's in there.
- Great.
- Okay.
She's dressed in some sort of weird...
Are you into some like Catholic thing?
- What's your deal?
- No.
You're asking a lot of questions.
You really don't want to know the answer to these, - okay?
I'll handle it.
- All right.
You get in there.
Get that extra credit, buddy.
All right.
Why didn't you call me?
I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, I'm sorry, but we're not together.
Tell me you missed me.
I haven't missed you.
[gasps]
Daddy lies.
Okay, Reed is not your daddy, and Reed is very serious.
You miss my boobies, don't you?
- Look at them.
- Look.
I don't know how else to tell you-- look at me-- I don't know else to tell you this, okay.
- It's not gonna happen.
- Shush.
- No, no, no, no.
- Stop.
No no.
Just don't fight it.
- Megan...
- Just don't fight it.
- Megan...
- Just don't fight it.
- Don't do it.
- Don't you fight it.
- Don't do it.
- Don't you fight it.
Can you stop?
Stop stop no.
- Stop.
- Ugh!
Oh.
- Okay.
All right.
- Oh my God.
- Are you okay?
- I'm okay.
- Okay?
- I need ice.
- Okay.
- Get out of my way.
- All right.
- Get out of my face.
Megan...
Megan, let me help you.
Um...
I'm...
Oh...
- Okay, I'm so good.
- Okay.
- I am so good.
- Okay.
I'll see you later, okay?
Okay.
Not...
Bye.
- I'll see you later.
- Yeah, see you later.
Okay.
Okay.
- Okay, um.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- See you.
- Twice in one day, huh?
- Bishop, not now.
Wait.
What do you mean.
Dude, everyone knows you slept with Brynn.
[music playing]
Just let me get just one piece.
You look good.
This is the same as in high school.
No, it's not the same, man.
Just move one second.
What is that?
What was that?
- [knocking on door]
- Yo.
- Is it done?
- Uh...
Yeah, I just need the girls.
Perfect.
Um, anything else?
Yeah, what you got there?
It's just molly, man.
It's not hard stuff.
How many you got?
Seriously?
You gonna babysit me all night?
No.
man, I'm not, I'm not trying to I just, you know, I want one.
For what?
To take.
Are you f*cking with me right now?
Look.
I know it seems like I have everything together, but I don't.
Look, Bishop.
I just don't think it's a good idea, all right?
It's gonna be fine.
sh*t, man.
All right, just take half, okay?
They're strong.
Half, right?
Perfect.
[music playing]
All right.
Hand it over.
Okay.
Everybody say, "Happy 1/2 New Year." All: Happy 1/2 New Year.
Hey.
How're you doing?
Are you okay?
Yeah.
I'm just breathing.
Well, that's good.
Keep that up.
Okay.
This is f*cking weird.
Okay.
Let me see it before you post it.
I love this.
We're almost ready.
We might actually be on time this year.
I like the second one.
Will you text that one to me?
Holy sh*t.
I look f*cking banging.
You guys, I can't go.
I feel like I'm gonna be sick.
[music playing]
[music playing]
Reed!
I'm gonna miss you.
You're so cute.
When's your last day?
Wednesday.
It's not gonna be the same without you.
- So soon!
- I know it sucks.
So when are you leaving?
Um...
I'm gonna get a drink.
I'll see you guys in a sec, okay?
Always loved him.
Okay, I think... he spotted you.
So go talk to him.
I just don't want to overwhelm him right now, you know?
Now if you don't do this, then you're just another creeper of the party.
All right.
Ugh, God Okay.
Blake...
Blake, Look.
sh*t.
Everything's so bright in here.
- Did you take a half-- - Hold on a second.
This music...
Is it me?
Am I amusing?
- No, you are not amusing.
- Help me find an orange tree.
I have to make oranges.
We don't need oranges right now.
Does anyone want to tell me why Josh is here?
Yeah, um...
Everything's gonna be great.
Okay, just love each other.
We all came from a vag*na.
Okay?
It would've been really nice if you would've warned me, okay?
Everything's gonna be fine.
- It's gonna be awesome.
- Reed, come on, man.
- See what you did, Bishop.
- I didn't do sh*t.
Can you just calm down, man?
I'm calm.
All right?
You stop breathing so damn heavy.
I got to go.
Is this a chalkboard or a window.
Kyle, give me that cigarette.
Thanks.
You got a light?
Thank you.
So you're a smoker now?
What're you doing here?
I came to see you.
I heard you were leaving.
You were correct.
Look.
I think you're making a big mistake.
Your opinion means nothing.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
It doesn't.
No, doesn't.
Was this your big plan, coming to the other party and cornering me so I couldn't make a big scene?
It's not even like that.
I just...
- I just came to see you.
- Cool.
Well, maybe you could've texted first or send me an email or some sort of communication instead of nothing - for entire year.
Look.
- I know that you're upset.
- No man, being upset would mean that I actually cared.
Pam, I think you have a visitor.
- Oh my god.
That's amazing.
- Look how cute he is.
Why can I just have a one-night stand like a normal person?
Hi.
- I bought these for you.
- Listen Marty.
I know-- Just take it slow.
No sweetie.
There is no slow.
We can try, right?
It's very simple.
I need a f*ck buddy and you are right up my alley.
I don't care if you're tired.
When I want to sex, I want sex and I need to get it.
So you can be at my beckon call, do as I say, and we have a wonderful time.
Capeesh?
Uh...
Okay.
Uh, yeah, wow.
You're like f*cking amazing.
And if you fall in love with me, we're done.
And seriously, red roses?
What is this, prom?
Buy me something I could use.
Like a Fendi bag.
Okay.
Fendi bag.
Okay, yeah, yeah, all right.
Yeah, I could do that.
Also...
I wear six inch heels.
I know you and my brother are-- we're friends, but if he so much as hears about this, my entire shoe goes up your ass.
You're not into that, are you?
No.
I mean, are you?
Ewe.
Mm, maybe.
Okay.
I'm gonna go in now, you wait here.
We, we should not be seen together.
Uh, okay.
Yeah.
- I'll count to 100-- Oh.
- No offense.
They're gorgeous.
[whispering]
Oh my God.
She's so hot.
[music playing]
Please excuse me.
I need to go change my panties.
What?
[music playing]
[babbling]
There you are.
Oh my God.
You taste like lavender.
- What's gotten into you?
- Nothing.
I'm good.
You look, you look f*cking hot.
You know, you look like...
Oh my God.
You're rolling.
- I'm not rolling.
I'm standing - Your pupils were huge.
This is how I look.
I mean, my eyes are naturally this big.
Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't take molly.
Okay, fine.
f*ck it.
I took the molly.
Okay, but you know what, I love it, all right, and I love you.
That's all that matters.
- Who gave it to you?
- Who do you think gave it to him?
I'm gonna k*ll your boyfriend.
Yeah, he's not my boyfriend anymore.
- So I don't care.
- You don't touch him.
He's a national treasure, okay?
I'm all right.
You get out of here, girl.
You get.
[music playing]
Whoa, hey.
Hey, did you talk to Reed?
Yeah, but, man, it's not the best time.
No, it's the greatest time.
That's a nice shirt.
Look.
I'm just gonna holler up later.
- That's it.
- No, you have to stay.
Okay, if you leave now, you're gonna ruin the g*dd*mn surprise.
But he clearly doesn't want me here.
So what.
You know what?
If you f*cking leave here, you got to go through me.
- Come on.
- Look.
I'm not gonna...
Make a move at me.
Fight!
- Are you...
- sh*t.
How many are you?
How, how f*cked up are you?
- Listen, man.
- Are you...
- What is your...
- Hey, we got to stay.
We staying.
Do you know whose this is?
I just picked it up.
Hey, ladies.
Oh, you look lovely.
Oh, are you surprised?
This is Whitney.
Josh's girlfriend.
- Did you just say Josh?
- Where is he?
Josh is fulfilling his life's purpose tonight.
- Josh is making amends.
- Amends?
What are you, his life coach?
Actually...
- here's my card...
- Oh.
I'm gonna put my purse down in Reed's room.
So you two are f*cking, right?
No.
-Hi.
- I didn't know you were here.
I just came to drop off my purse.
No, it's um...
That's okay.
I saw Josh.
Are you okay?
Yeah, it's cool.
Reed, come on.
It's me.
You can be honest.
Okay, uh, honesty...
Um...
Are we okay?
- Why wouldn't we be?
- Come on, Brynn.
- Don't do that.
Do what?
You tried to walk out and act like nothing happened.
You didn't remember anything that happened.
- Yeah, but that wasn't my fault.
- Yeah, so f*ck me, right, for moving on and just making things normal again.
I've never had anything like that happen before.
Please stop.
I'm trying to be honest.
What does it matter anyhow, you're leaving?
You're being a real bitch right now.
Cool.
Calling me a bitch like every other guy.
Act like a bitch like every other girl.
f*ck you.
[music playing]
What the f*ck are you doing?
Nothing.
- You're being an assh*le.
- What does it matter?
All right, you're not my girlfriend.
He's all yours.
[knock on door]
Someone's in here.
What do you want?
Have you just been getting f*cked up all day?
Maybe.
Jealous?
No.
Not really.
I have to pee.
Don't mind me.
Do you remember what you thought the first time you saw me?
I thought you were trouble.
You liked it.
I know I could be dangerous with you.
So be dangerous with me.
How?
f*ck me.
Right here, I dare you.
You dare me?
What is this, seventh grade?
Take your pants off.
[knocking on door]
Leave!
You know, I just feel like I'm the only person working at this relationship.
I don't understand why you're just being so cold.
You know, like you turned your parents against me.
I've been trying so hard and you just sit here you're not saying anything, I just really think, you know, like you can work at it like I want to work at it.
I just thought we had something, you know, like really special.
Yo, come on.
You been in there 15 minutes.
Stop doing dr*gs in my bathroom.
Hello!
Hey, buddy.
- What are you doing in there?
- Nothing.
Why are you being weird?
What are you hiding?
I got something to talk to you about.
What's up?
You're like the world's worst liar, by the way.
- Oh hi.
- Hi.
Hi.
You guys getting the band back together?
- Together: No.
No.
- Okay.
Just a question.
- I'm gonna go back to the party.
- Okay.
What's up with that?
I think we both just needed to make sure.
- Make sure of what?
- Nothing.
It's different.
- It's not the same.
- Okay.
Hey, man.
How long is this hallway?
Look.
We only have an hour and a half.
All right?
Oh my God.
Do you think we'll have enough time?
Oh, you stop that sh*t out.
Okay, you two need to hash it out.
You need to stop being a baby penis.
- Be a grown penis, okay?
- Okay.
You two have snuck this sh*t behind my back all day, - and it's f*cked up.
- This is clearly not the time for him.
No, it's perfect timing.
Okay, you got five seconds to knock it off.
Look.
I don't...
You two, you need to go in the bathroom, seven seconds in heaven, you don't need to make out, but you just need to f*cking make up, okay?
- You guys suck.
- Yeah, get in there.
There we go.
Dude, you're like MacGyver.
I know.
You know how long it took me to do that?
- You're smart.
- I am.
- You are.
- I'm a genius.
Come on.
Reed: Not funny.
You better sip on that.
You're gonna be a hot mess if you don't.
Cup.
Drink to your reality.
I think you actually told me that.
Yeah, that actually does sound like something I would say.
Bishop told me you haven't done it yet.
Yeah.
It just didn't feel right.
This could be your only sh*t.
It's not like I'm never gonna talk to him again so.
Brynn, he loves you.
I know.
Well, then don't do something you're gonna regret.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
- Okay.
- All right.
Well, let's do this sh*t.
Okay.
Let's go!
Let's go!
I k*lled y'all.
On the first try!
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I love you.
- I love you.
- Where's my ring?
- What?
My ring.
Where is it?
Oh, uh, I keep it...
I keep it close to my heart.
Sell it.
I don't want to sell it.
No, I mean, we don't need a pieces of symbolical sh*t.
Sell it for Reed.
He's our family.
Yeah, but I mean, what does that mean for us?
Bishop.
Bishop...
Yes.
Bishop Miller...
- Bishop...
- What are you doing?
...Miller, wonderful man, will you marry me?
Yes.
I will marry you.
I said yes!
I said yes!
I'm sorry for what happened.
If I could take that back, I would.
Well, you can't.
I know that.
And as much as you're gonna hate me for saying it, I'm so glad that it happened.
I needed that wake-up call.
That's nice.
Dude, this time last year, I had no idea who I was.
I lost my job, Lindsay, the band.
I'm kind of where you are right now.
So maybe I should try and find myself and be more like you.
Yeah, something like that.
It's a whole year.
Now... here you are.
Where you been, man?
Different places.
Rehab.
For what?
Anxiety, depression, stress.
I didn't think you'd go to rehab for that.
I tried to k*ll myself.
Twice before that night.
But I couldn't go through with it.
When?
Look.
It doesn't matter.
It's over now.
I could've helped you.
I could've done something.
There's just some things that you have to face on your own.
You know?
There were so many times when I just wanted, you know, to talk to you or get your advice and I couldn't do that.
So what, you're just gonna give up now?
That's not fair, man.
You don't know what's been going on.
Oh, I got the Bishop's cliff notes version.
- Okay.
- So.
I know everything.
Way too many details.
Oh God.
That m*therf*cker.
Dude.
You can't leave here with any regrets, man.
You can't be afraid to ask for help and you can't be too stubborn to take it.
So you're a shrink now?
I've had lots of experience.
I really missed you, man.
Yeah, I missed you, too.
So it is like, is it weird... to like hug?
Yeah, it's f*cking weird.
I was thinking that.
We'll just take one step at a time.
Can I see your phone though?
Uh, yeah.
Straight to voicemail.
So my sister doesn't give a sh*t.
Uh...
Okay, well, we could always try screaming.
Yeah, we can Jedi mind trick the door open.
Oh, okay.
That's gonna work.
- That might work.
- No, we should scream - with like a...
- I don't feel like I should...
Tell me what to scream.
You could do-- you could go like-- just go like, low, like a base, and I'll be like...
- Uh...
- Hah...
- That's not screaming...
- You guys.
I just heard that whole f*cking thing.
It was super cute and your guy's relationship is really weird, but I figured I can let you guys out now.
Also, I just had sex in the bathroom.
So there's a little bit of me on you.
You're disgusting.
I love you.
- You're a gem.
- Oh by the way, that girl Whitney is insane, so be careful.
Thank you.
Where'd you find her?
Um, I'm gonna get a drink.
Can you have one?
Yes, I can have a drink.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Where's that little Italian sausage I love so much?
Megan, how's your face?
Oh, it's okay, but you know you could help me get better.
How?
You could put your penis into my vag*na...
- a lot - Okay, I can't do this.
Fine.
You miss my little boobies?
Big boobies...
They're very...
Megan, you don't want a guy like me, okay?
I'm boring, and I'm in love with somebody else.
Oh, you mean Brynn.
Like everyone knows that you're in love with Brynn.
- It's so not a big deal.
- No one knows that.
- That's bullshit.
- But listen.
We're cool.
I was just trying to f*ck.
- Uh, what?
- Yeah,like I thought this was a sure thing, but lately, you've been like a major drag so.
Um, no hard feelings, like let's just, you know, and if you could just point me in the direction of like I don't know, literally anything else with a pulse that's like down.
You know what I mean?
Mm-hmm.
- Oh, f*ck yeah.
- You're a doll.
I like it.
Enjoy it.
You got to write that down.
That's a movie.
Am I living in the f*cking Twilight Zone?
Dude, you do not wanna get into it with me about - alternate universes and sh*t.
- No, I really don't actually.
- Reed, get in here.
- What?
Reed.
No.
[music playing]
[music stops]
Hey, you guys, uh, real quick.
This is a special night, you know, it's our 1/2 New Year's celebration party, right?
- [cheering]
- Right?
Right?
You love this.
Hell yeah!
Sorry.
Um, but it's also a special night because we say goodbye to our beloved Reed.
Reed, you've, you know, you've influenced all of us in many ways.
We love you, buddy.
I think I can speak for all of us when I say, we don't want you to go.
But, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do.
But that doesn't mean we can't send you off with a gift.
Blake.
There you go.
Reed, thank you for always being the one to take charge and keep us in line and for never being afraid of yourself.
We love you.
My baby brother, I know you feel you need to move home and I told you 100 times you could stay with me till you get back on your feet, but you're stubborn like mommy.
So I support what you choose.
And even though you're a f*cking pain in the ass to be around...
I'm gonna miss you, Reed Deluca.
But, I know when the time is right, you'll be back.
Okay, turn it off.
Blake, turn it off.
Reed, hey buddy, um, it's never a party without you.
So our parties are obviously gonna suck.
And, um, all seriousness, uh, you always have a home here, and I'm gonna miss you, bud.
We're all a family.
You know, we're a weird tight-knit group of f*cked up people who found each other in this town.
But, I always felt like Reed was the glue, you know?
He never let us get caught up in our own bullshit.
He always helped us see things from the other side.
Yo, Reed.
Um...
sh*t, I don't, I don't know what to say.
My hope for you is that you, never lose this belief of yourself and, and others.
I'm gonna miss you a lot, man.
It's not gonna be the same without you.
f*ck off.
Uh, Reed, man... you were one of the first people that I met whenever I came out here.
Um, you've been cool as hell... the entire time, probably too cool, uh, most of the time.
And, I don't want you to go.
Uh, you've always known what you wanted.
You were gonna fight for it.
You were never gonna let anything get in your way.
I think that's what everybody... that's what I admire most about you.
And, yeah, I love you, dude.
Brynn: This is all so surreal.
Who would've thought that we would be living hundreds of miles away from each other.
It's crazy that that's gonna be a reality.
I don't want it to be.
I'm scared of that.
I don't want you to leave.
I don't want to know my best friend through skype or a random text, and I don't want to be at home on a Friday night and think, "If Reed were here... what would we be doing?" I love you.
I love you so much.
And, um... and I just want you to know that I'll love you forever.
Can I, can I steal you for a sec?
Yeah, what's up?
Hold on.
Don't Leave.
One second.
- Okay.
- There is.
Oh.
You make me the happiest man.
Um, it's not really my style.
- And I, I love you...
- No.
- Why no?
- Sell it.
No.
No, no, no, no.
That's not even an option.
I'm not gonna take that from you.
It's the only option.
Okay?
- No, we can't.
- Why?
Because you're just gonna leave me anyhow.
So give me a reason to stay.
I was waiting for the right opportunity - to come talk to you.
- What'd I say, Marty?
Well, considering f*ck buddy status...
how about we sneak out of here?
Where're you thinking?
Laundry room, spin cycle.
You wearing boxers or briefs.?
Boxer-briefs.
Best of both worlds.
Okay, but we can't look suspicious.
I'll go set up.
You're very strange, aren't you?
You never had a problem with that before.
Oh sh*t.
Um, hey guys.
Look, look, look.
Um, we might be late on this countdown, but f*ck it.
We're gonna get right to it.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one...
Happy 1/2 New Year!
f*ck yeah!
Reed: All right.
I guess he was a little excited.
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you.
I...
Like, I'm f*cked up.
I know one day I'm gonna be good, and I'm cool with that.
I...
I don't know what else to say.
Thank you.
It's okay.
You don't have to say anything else.
Um...
- I get it.
- Okay.
Good.
You have to work on opening up your chakras.
Yeah, it's um...
It's a chakra thing is... is what it is, unfortunately.
- Okay, come on.
- Hold on.
- What?
- My sheets are in the dryer.
It's okay.
You're gonna have to wash them anyhow.
- No.
Let me just get them.
- Okay.
Cycle.
Spin cycle.
Oh!
Oh!
Yeah.
Ooh!
Ooh!
Yeah!
Yeah!
[moaning]
Yeah, baby!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Okay, no, no, no, no, no.
You guys know what time it is?
It's resolution time.
Get out on the patio.
[pounding on door]
Okay.
- There you.
- Yep.
- Ooh.
- It's about time.
- Well...
- Welcome to the party.
Look who decided to join us.
We're all basically here so.
Okay, let's pile in here guys.
Let's do it.
Yo.
We're gonna pop this on three.
Ready?
Yeah.
One, two, three...
[cheering]
All right, guys.
Okay, so to us.
To us.
All: Cheers.
Eyes.
Eyes.
Eyes.
Eyeballs.
Eyeballs.
Eyes.
This is to eyes.
It's been a great night.
Right?
You know, I have a fianc.
She f*cked up.
She don't know.
And my friends friends are friends again.
Right?
Reed, are you staying?
Well, I mean, that ring is worth a lot, right?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Well, I guess I got a call mom?
Um, I promise to pay you back though.
- You f*cking better.
- I will.
All right.
So resolutions, right?
We all know if we don't say 'em out loud they don't come true.
Well, not to be a bridezilla.
She won't be.
Josh.
Um, just to work on me.
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
I'm gonna work on me.
Yeah.
Oh, my turn.
Um, yeah.
Maybe to, um, find a new girlfriend this year.
I think that's what I'm gonna do.
d*ck.
All right, Marty.
What you got?
Uh...
To explore the unknown.
Ewe.
Yo.
On that note.
I'll say, I'm gonna take it easy and, you know, - let things come to me.
- I swear.
I'm gonna stop eating hoagies.
Nah, that's not gonna happen.
Yeah, f*ck it.
- All right, Brynn.
- Um, To be in the present and be in the now and not worry about the future.
I second that.
Oh, okay.
To a year of excitement, adventure and the unknown.
- Cheers again.
- All: Cheers.
All: Eyes.
Eyes.
Eyes...
- sh*ts.
- Yeah.
- Can I be your maid of honor?
- Oh my God, of course.
You know, I know what they're doing.
I saw what you were doing.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh.
I like your boobs so much You have the sexiest boobs I've ever...
Come back.
Hey Reed Worlders.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Um, we just heard the house is being demolished today.
So we wanted to come check it out and say bye so.
Come, come here.
Come in.
Don't be shy.
Please?
Thank you.
So wanted to say bye to the house.
Thank you for bringing us all together in LA.
We love you.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Say bye to the house.
- Bye house.
- Blow the house a kiss.
- I don't wanna do that.
Please.
Just blow the...
Please?
- Bye.
- Bye guys.
1/2 New Year (2019)
Moderator: Maskath3