Gatlopp (2022)

[bunniefuu]

(upbeat music)

(musician sing in a
foreign language)

(woman gasps)

- Bill, you stay here.

- [ Operator] Thank
you for calling .

We're experiencing a high
volume of calls.

Please continue to hold.

- [Woman] Party's over,
you spoiled sh*t.

Cops are on their way,
I warned you.

(door banging)

Hello?

(door banging)
(woman screams)

What's going on in there?

(people screaming)

What the...

Hey, hey, hey, stop!

(door banging)

(door creaking)

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, Bill.

Bill, wait!

- [ Operator] .
What is your emergency?

- I, I'm sorry.

Hi, I, uh-

- [ Operator] What is
your emergency, ma'am?

- Uh, uh, uh-
- Ma'am?

- [Woman] No, Bill, wait!

- [ Operator] Ma'am,
what is your emergency?

(ominous music)

(thunder rumbling)

(ominous music continues)

(cheerful music)

♪ Always acting strange ♪

♪ When I'm 'round you ♪

♪ Going 'round you ♪

♪ Thinking it's time to go ♪

♪ I don't know though,
do you know ♪

♪ Happiness in liquid form ♪

♪ I'm drinking it down ♪

- Ah!

♪ I just wanna drown ♪

Uh, huh.

♪ I know I can't b*at
happiness in ♪

Uh, ah, ah.

Oaxaca Flaca!

- What's up, Cliff?
- You looking good.

- I'm trying.

You, uh...

You're here for your sh*t?
- Yeah.

- I got it.

So, what's up, bruh?

Are you still working
promotions at the bar?

- Yeah.

- (chuckles) When are you
gonna do a Reggaeton night?

- Aw man, the Silicon Beach bros

just love like tropical
house music now.

- Yeah, Reggaeton is tropical.

- Yeah, no,
I'm talking more like Kygo,

or you know what, actually
everyone's really into Rufus.

- Look, I have no idea what
you're saying right now.

- Uh-huh.

- But I have exactly what
you asked for.

- This is a futon?
This is beautiful, man.

Thank you so much.

My buddy's gonna love it,
he just got a divorce.

- Ouch, divorce is rough.

When my old lady left, I had
to get six tattoos redone.

- 'Kay.

Yeah, well, no tattoos,
but the old crew,

we're gonna get back together,
you know,

show him that he's loved
by getting super f*cked up.

- That's f*cking
beautiful, bruh.

You know, because you're
such a good friend,

I'm gonna throw in
something a little extra.

- Whoa, is this, um, uh-
- Yes.

- Uh...
- A credenza.

- A credenza.
- A credenza.

- A creden,
- A cr, do you wanna get high?

- Yes, so bad.

- f*ck that wannabe
Michael Bay m*therf*cker.

"Symposium" is my show, Caroline

and he's trying to take it
away from me.

- Our show, Samantha.
Our show, remember?

- You know what I mean,
Caroline.

- I'm reading Alan's email now,

"Demographics on this show
skew to male viewers."

Wow, what garbage.

- Yeah, he's asked me to
step back and consult.

Can you believe that sh*t?

So I set up a meeting with
the "Beaten Path" guys

and if I get them on board,
Alan is out,

and he can go straight to hell.

- [Caroline] You set up a
meeting without telling me?

- [Samantha] Calm down, mom.

- "Beaten Path" is in Venice.

We have a dinner at Soho House
tonight.

- Crap, I forgot.

I have a thing, I can't make it.

Can we push that to next week?

- Or I mean, I could just go.

I think I can handle a
meeting on my own.

- No, I, I definitely
think I need to be there.

Can we push it to next
week? Please.

- Fine.
- Thank you, talk soon.

(calm music)

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, Cliff text you?
- Yeah.

- That'll be . .

- Okay, so, you goin' or what?

- [Samantha] For a bit.
I have a thing at : .

You?
- Hey, sexy.

(attendant laughs)

- Uh...

Yeah, same. You need my ticket?

- Troy!
- Yes, yeah, yeah.

Uh...

Same, yeah, I gotta, I gotta
meet with these tech guys

in Mar Vista about a new
club concept.

- $ . And that smile.

- How come his is so cheap?

I have half as much stuff.

- Are you on the wall?

- What's that got to do
with anything?

- You pay full price.

- Sorry.
- There it is.

- Jesus, Troy, I gotta go.

- No, no, no, no, no.

Uh, have you reached
out to Paul?

- No. I didn't really know
what to say.

- Yeah, me either.
Been a long time.

(wind whooshing)

- We're still waiting
for the final inspections

to come back, but I have
been assured everything is

(clicks tongue) up to code.

- I am so excited to live
here, I could just die.

(woman screaming)
- Oh, sh*t.

- Paul, what are you doing here?

- Uh, you know him?

What is he doing in our house?

- Sorry,
I forgot my shower head.

This sh*t's expensive.

- Oh, wait, babe.

No, he, no, he and his
wife, they are the owners.

Yeah, Paul built the
succulent wall in the back.

- Oh, Paul!
- Yeah.

- Oh my God, I love that wall.

- It's seriously
impressive, bro.

Mad props.

- (clears throat) Well,
uh, it was good to see you.

- Oh, actually, uh, Paul,
um, could you fill us in

on the neighbourhood schools?

We, we are from Seattle.
- Yeah.

- So far,
we've checked out Mayberry.

- Mayberry.
- And we're looking

at charters, too.
- Yeah, I, I can supply you

with a list, really.
- You know, we don't have kids

yet but we're planners
so any help

you can give us would
be really appreciated.

- There's no way that you two
are staring a family here.

- Wait, what? Why?
- Excuse me.

- Excuse me?
- Is, is MS- nearby

or something?
- Doesn't matter.

- Um, excuse me, Paul. Paul?

If there's something we
should be concerned about,

I would like to know.

(Paul sighs)

- I'm sorry.

You just moved here,
you're asking for advice.

I get it.

Did I hear you guys say
you're planners?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- Yes? Okay, okay,
this will be easy.

- That's us.
- Um, the second you sit down

and really think about it,
it will be painfully clear

just how expensive it
is to raise kids in LA

and you'll want to wait few
years to save that money.

But it's a good thing,
because during that time,

the two of you as a couple
will get to really enjoy

the LA lifestyle, you
know, go buck wild, right?

Yeah, yeah!

Hang out with some
interesting people,

the wealthy, the eccentric,
the famous.

Ah, I see that, I saw that.

No, no, no,
don't be embarrassed.

Come on, we all move here to
LA in the hopes of meeting

a celebrity, you know.

And they're out there.

Chris Pine.

(woman gasps)

Chris Pine, by the way,
he gets coffee

right down the street.
- That's good, that's great.

- [Paul] Yeah, you know him,
don't ya?

- Yeah, she knows.
- Yep.

Also, during this time,
you will have fantasies

for other people.

It's human nature, there's
really no avoiding it.

But you'll fight it.

You know, you'll do everything
you should to fight it.

Uh, taking a cross-fit
classes together,

sound baths are helpful.

Sex videos! Those work wonders.

I highly recommend that.

Kinda anything to drown
out these terrible ideas

of infidelity that are
clearly already brewing

in the back of your minds.

(sighs) 'Cause this will
work for a time

because you will still be in LA,

surrounded by all these
beautiful people,

living way better
lives than you.

Until one day, the inevitable
will barrel into you,

driving an AMG from his house

in the hills to drill your
wife with his nine-inch cock

under your seriously
impressive succulent wall, bro.

So, yeah.

I highly doubt you will
start a f*ckin' family here.

Or maybe you will. I don't know.

Thanks for buying my house.

(realtor sighs)

- Nine inches.

(ominous music)

(tyres screeching)

(trunk door bangs)

(Paul sighs)

(camera clicks)

- Oh. Are you staking
your territory?

You nervous?

- No, it's just that or
I have to cut a bitch

if they look at you.

- (chuckles) I kinda
wanna see that.

- No, it's too messy and
relocating is a bitch.

- I can't tell if you're
being serious or not.

Is it weird that it turns me on?

- No.
- No?

- 'Cause I'm super cute and
you're really messed up.

- Yeah.

You know,
our kids are gonna be monsters.

But like, gorgeous.

- Would you wanna have
kids with me?

Oh my God,
I can feel your heart pounding.

- I guess. Maybe, yes,
someday, yeah.

- Oh my God, I wanna kiss you,

but I don't wanna mess up
my lip gloss.

- Buddy!
- I'll make room.

- Yes. Yes, oh, come here.
(moans)

- Hey, man, you okay?
- Oh hey.

You smell good.
- Yeah, thanks.

- You look terrible.
- Yeah, that is,

- But you smell good.
Oh, welcome back, man.

I'm so excited you're here.

Watch out for that cactus
and welcome, I, okay.

I mean, is this not
exactly as you remember it?

- Pretty much.
- Oh, wait, uh, this is new.

This is called a credenza.

- [Paul] I know what a
credenza is, Cliff.

- Of course, of cour, yeah,
um, alright!

Well, hey, um, let me show
you where you're staying.

Okay. Whoo!

Stay as long as you want,
my man.

Mi casa is your casa.
Let's get you a beer.

Or I guess, you know, I, I,
well, what do you wanna drink?

I mean-
- Hey, man, I'm kinda tired

and I'm not really in
the mood to drink, so...

- [Samantha] You should
have a drink,

it'll help with the smell.

- Sam, come on, I'm tell, you
gotta put that phone away.

- Yeah.
- There is no work here.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- That's what I'm talking about.

- Hi, friend.
- Hi.

- You okay?
- Quick question.

Uh, when's the last time
you hugged a Black man?

Come here, man, come on,
show me love.

There you go. Hold my body.

You good?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, I, I, I can't stay long

but I at least wanted
to come by and say hi.

Hi, Sam.
- Troy.

- Um, I'm interrupting
something?

- Uh-uh.
- Mm-mm.

- No, I'm interrupting
something.

- No, you're not.
It's not interrupting.

Uh, I'm sorry. Uh, it's just...

- Cliff didn't tell you we
were coming?

- No.
- What the f*ck?

- Who's thirsty?

Guys, hold on, wait, wait, wait.

Don't look at me like that.

He was so sad,
he was so sad on the phone.

You know,
if we got together I knew that

it would make you happy.

- Cliff,
this isn't fun for me, okay?

I'm not trying to celebrate it.

- f*ck me, I'm sorry.

Also, I'm already holding
the beer and it's heavy.

I just need-
- Heavy?

- Yeah.
- Mmm.

- You know what I'm saying?

- Guys, we're reunited.
This is good.

Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Still does that

on a first swig.
Wow.

- Ooh. One more thing.

- Cliff, you know, after that?
- No, you're gonna love it,

it's in my credenza.

- What?
- I don't know, I don't know.

- He's really proud of
that thing.

- (sighs) Oh, my g...

- [Paul] Well, hey,
uh, you guys been good?

What's going on?

- Yeah, you know, busy.
- Yeah, great.

Same old, same old.

- Good, good, good.

Ah, just being here, by
the way, makes me crave

your mom's cr*ck cookies.

- Oh.
- Oh my God,

those things are so good.

- I know.
- So good.

- Yeah,
I didn't bring any. Sorry.

- Oh, f*ck, man.

Well, sh*t,
now that you're single,

we really gotta hang out.

I'm plugged up in every
spot in LA.

- Uh.
- And they're filled with-

- Underage daddy issues.
- Exactly.

Yeah, well, ew.

But besides that,
he's divorced now

and he needs someone for sex.
- Okay, Paul.

Don't listen to him.

I know plenty of actual women,
if you're really interested.

- You're really good at this.

- The last woman you
introduced him to-

- It's your favourite part.
- Yeah, what's her name?

- It's your favourite part.
- Yeah, Alice, so-

- Hey, dad, mom, can
you guys knock it off?

Uh, I don't need fixing,

(board game bangs)

- What the f*ck?

- It's game time, m*therf*ckers.

- [Samantha] What the f*ck
is Gatlopp?

- Yeah, sounds like a
"Star Trek" creature.

- No, I actually googled
it and Gatlopp is Swedish

for the gauntlet.

Like, running the gauntlet.

And apparently, the Iroquois
used to make their prisoners

run a deadly gauntlet and
if one of them

got all the way through,
then they'd let everyone go.

- Let me guess, no one
ever made it through.

- But no one ever made
it through.

And I'm telling you guys, I
looked all over the internet

for this thing.

I could not find one
mention of it.

This thing is super rare

and it is the wacky and
unpredictable game

to test our knowledge of
the world,

our friends, and ourselves.

Guys, I found this today.

It is our destiny.

- That is no one's destiny.
- I'm just concerned,

it's the same way.
- No, no.

- Whoa, hold on, shh,
shh, shh, guys.

Drinking games used to
be our jam.

- Yeah, Cliff, used to.
Past tense, you know.

- We, we have,
a couple hours together.

It'd be fun to just-
- I, actually, I don't have

a couple hours.

I have a work thing. I told you.

- Well, we're here for
Paul and Paul loves us-

- Dude, no, hard pass.
- Fine, fine.

It's stupid, I just thought
it'd be fun, you know,

to do something together.

- [Samantha] We are
doing something together.

- Yeah.
- Cliff!

- [Cliff] No, it's fine.

- I gotta go pee.

- So, how long are you
staying here?

- Oh, couple weeks, tops.
- Mm. (chuckles)

- It's weird being here.

It's like,
it's like I've regressed.

(Samantha chuckles)

Also, how does he still
have this place?

- I have no idea.

Consolation prize for getting
cut out of their will?

(Paul chuckling)

- Whatever, once I get the
money from my house, I am gone.

- Yeah, I bet you're ready
to get rid of that place.

- No, not really. It was a
great house, you've been there.

- Uh, I haven't, actually.

- [Troy] Oh, my lord.

You still have these?
- Yes, sir. Of course.

- [Samantha] Holy sh*t. We
look fantastic. (laughs)

- Oh, especially you.
- Uh-oh.

(Samantha gasps)

- Cliff!
- Sam!

- I'm a working professional.

You can't be broadcasting
my mistakes.

- That's the point of the
mistake wall.

What are you...
- I'm keeping this.

- Right, right.

Oh yes, this is the one I
like of Paul, right there.

- I like that.

This one's-
- Look at his face.

- This one's much better.
- Oh.

- Cliff, you d*ck!
- Yeah, exactly.

You know the rules.

You fall asleep at the
house, you get a face d*ck.

- Sure do.
- f*ck that rule.

'Cause I had to go to
an audition

with a face d*ck on my
face one time.

- Did, did you get it or...
- Hell, no.

(Samantha laughing)

- Oh, wait. Hold on, hold on.

I don't see The Braveheart.

(Samantha gasps)

- I totally forgotten
about that.

(Troy burps)

- Troy, Troy.
- What's up?

- How you doin', man?
- Good, good.

- Have you, uh,
have you seen Alice?

(Troy blows raspberry)

- Nope.
- Are you okay?

- Nope, I'm f*cked up.
- Yeah, you look f*cked up.

- Um, I'ma get some of that...

- Yo, your name is Troy, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're in that show
"JV Squad", right?

- Oh, yeah, you got me.

- Oh my God, dude.

I loved you in that
show. You were hilarious.

- Appreciate it, thank you,
thank you.

- He does appreciate it.

You should ask him what
else he's doing.

- Yo, so what else is
going on, man?

Bigger and better things
I'm sure.

- There's something in the
works, something's in works,

but, man, get yourself a drink.

I'ma be back in here.
Have a good time.

- Alright.
- Drink up, drink up,

drink up, yes, sir,
nice to meet you.

♪ Oh, where do we begin ♪

- Holy sh*t!

(ball bangs)

- Oh, game over, m*therf*ckers!

- Sam! Sam.

Cliff is passed out on
the couch.

- It's finally happening.
- It's finally happening

and I came prepared.

- Gentlemen, I must leave you.

We have business to attend to.

Go, go, go, go!

- Out of the way. Cheers, guys!

One, two, three.

(people screaming)

- [All] Freedom!

(camera clicks)

(all laughing)

- Oh man,
that was some of our best work.

- We did good.

- But how could I forget
about that?

When was it?

- It was that crazy beach
party, like eight years ago.

(Samantha chuckles)

- Oh, eight years ago.
- Yeah.

(calm music)

(phone ringing)

- Oh, that's me.
I should get going.

- [Cliff] No, Sam,
it's so early.

- Uh, yeah.

Uh, I gotta get going,
I do, I do.

- You kidding me, man? Come on.

- I love you, I love you.

I love you, alright?

You let me know whatever
you need.

I got you.
- Okay.

- So just ask me.

(phone ringing)

I know, I know.

- So, yeah.

- Don't, don't.
- I, wait.

- [Cliff] It's so early.

(door clicks)

(phone clanks)

(photo crunching)

(pills rattling)

(phone ringing)

- Hey.

- Hey, can you hear me?

I'm at my dad's and you know
how the service is up here.

- I can hear you fine.
What's up?

- Sorry to call about this,

but I still need you to
sign the divorce papers.

And since you don't have
an address,

I was wondering if you
can come by our place

and we can all put this
behind us.

- Okay, anything else?

- Yeah. What you did at the
house today.

Not everyone needs your
opinion, Paul.

- Then they shouldn't have asked

for my opinion, Alice,
and besides-

- They rescinded their offer.
- What?

- They're not buying the
house anymore.

- They can't do that.

- They can when we're
still in escrow.

- Alright, dudes,
I'm outta here.

What?

- [Paul] This isn't my
fault, Alice.

- It doesn't matter, 'cause
I was talking to my dad...

(Paul sighs)

Hold on.

And he thinks this is
a blessing.

We priced way too low, we
can probably get another %.

It'll just take a few more
months to sell.

- Great, just, just great.

Did he have any other sage
advice on selling my house?

- Our house.

And don't forget where the
down payment came from.

Paul, you don't sound good.

Are you taking care of yourself?

- [Man] Babycakes! Where is you?

- I'm talking to Paul.
- No way!

Eskimo buddy!
- Are you f*cking kidding me?

- Go inside.
I'll be back in a sec.

- [Man] Okay. Bye, Paulie!

Kisses!

- Really sorry about that.

Um, please don't hang up yet.

- I'm here.
- Okay. (sighs)

Uh, so Andre and I are going
to Napa tomorrow night.

So if you can come by
around : a.m.,

that would be amazing.

- Fine.

- Oh.
- Oh, um.

- [Paul] Oh, great.

Well, it's good seeing you guys.

I think I'm just gonna-
- No, we're good, alright.

- No, f*ck that.

Cliff, the game you have.

Trivia,
problem solving and sh*t?

- Yes, I got a hold of
that but, I thought you had

that work thing?
- Nope, I'm changing my mind.

- Oh.
- We are gonna get drunk.

We're gonna talk a whole
bunch of sh*t

and then you are gonna forget

about your stupid ex-wife, okay?

- Oh my God, I love that idea.

- And I love talkin' sh*t, so...

- So, what is it gonna be, Paul?

You gonna sit in your room
and sulk like a little bitch

or are you gonna get
nasty with us?

- Uh.
- You little bitch.

- What you gonna do, Paul?
- Yo gonna get nasty?

- What you gonna do, Paulie?
- You nasty little bitch.

- I f*ckin' hate you guys.

- No, you love us.
- And we love you!

- Alright.

(ominous music)

- Let's see.
- What, like,

they're sh*t glasses.

(Samantha laughs)

- Uh, three pepperonis please.

Yes, yes, three.

Uh, Sam,
you're not leaving now, right?

- No.
- Okay, okay, good.

Yes, and ranch please.

Thank you.

- Choose a player piece
and place it

at the start of the board.

Roll the die and move
your piece to the space

according to the number rolled.

- Alright, I did my job.
- Pull a card from the shoe.

Uh, and then flip the timer
if required.

The first card gives you a task.

After you've completed
said task,

pull a second card from the shoe

to receive either punishment
or reward.

Do exactly as instructed.

- Okay, that sounds great.
- Well, hold on.

There's more rules.
- Yes, of course, but f*ck it.

We'll learn and play.

Come on, take a,
take a sh*t, please.

- Okay.
- Here's to those

who wish us well...

- [All] And all the rest
can go to hell.

- Oh!
- Six, okay, here we go.

- [Paul] Ooh, one, two,
three, four, five, six.

- Let's test your knowledge
on psychology.

What chemical element is
commonly used

to treat schizophrenia?

- g*dd*mn,
that's the first question?

(Samantha laughs)

No, there's no, no.
- Aw, snap.

Right, lithium.

- Okay, and the answer...

(gasps) Lithium.

- Hey.
- What?

- And, wait,
and whoever had doubt in you

has to take a sh*t.

- Wait, what?

(Samantha laughing)

I like this game!

- [Cliff And Paul] !

- Yeah.
- !

- Yeah, man, let's go.

I told you I can still do that.

Let's go.

Drink up, drink up,
drink, b*tches.

Now, drink. Yeah.

Okay.
- Epcot Centre.

- My mom.
- Roadkill.

- Are you guys even trying?

- [Samantha, Troy and Paul] No.

Drink!

(Samantha laughing)

- What's the exact price tag?
- No, no, no.

- Like how much your
friends cost?

How much do they cost?

- I was not paying for friends.

I was in a sorority.

I, I, I paid dues.

- Oh, okay, yeah, dues.

For your friends.

- He makes a really good point.

- Okay, asshats.

Neither of you were complaining

when I was getting you into
our parties.

- She makes a really good point.

- I do.
- She does.

- I do.

- Clifford?
- Yeah.

- When you were a DJ at
the party-

- Here he goes, here he goes.

- And you would invite us to
come through?

- Uh-huh.

- Did we ever have a, did
we ever pay you to get in?

- Hey, look,
I found a bird for you.

- No.
- Did you need a pal?

Do you need a pet bird?
- Oh, did you find him a bird?

(Samantha cawing)

- Did you, got a bird?

Take the bird.
- Aww.

- You got her bird,
take her bird.

- Oh, speaking of, you guys
stop by the parlour, man.

Yeah, I'll get your free
drink or whatever you want.

- (laughs) What,
you still work there?

- f*ck, yeah,
I still work there.

I'm the head of
promotions, baby.

- Speaking of head
of promotions,
here I am in the midst

of opening a night club.

- What?
- I actually wanna talk

to big-time over here
about that.

- Me?

- Yeah, like partnering up, man.

You know those, print out cash.

(Samantha laughs)

- I don't think so. Mm.

- Alright, I'm up, I'm up.

Four. Look at that, big winner!

One, two, three, four.
Alright, let's go.

- Riddle me this.

What can you hold in your right
hand, but not in your left?

- I f*ckin' hate riddles.

- Oopsies, you can't
think outside of the box.

- Paulie.
- Did you say oopsies?

(Samantha laughs)

- Oopsies.
- Whatever, I don't know.

The Bible.

- Ehh, your left hand.

Drink the rest of your beverage
and move back five spaces

for giving up too easy.
- What?

- Bottoms up.
- You didn't weep.

- Finish the beverage.
- Oh my God, this game

can see the future.

- [Paul & Samantha] One,
two, three, four, five.

- You're up, Troy.

(Samantha clears throat)

- You know, this boy's a legend
on the block with this sh*t.

Alright, flip that!

- And then I will pull the card

and we will get, uh, we will
get very deep here, people.

What would you say is your
biggest regret?

- Why getting serious?
- This will be good.

- Come on, guys.

We all know Troy doesn't have
any regrets.

He's the epitome of living
your best life.

- [Samantha] What is that?

- That was Troy.
- That was Troy!

- That is not Troy.
- That is totally Troy.

(camera clicks)

Troy.

(ominous music)

- Um, I would say not finishing
school to get my degree.

Wasting my dad's money.

- [Cliff] Wow, okay.

Didn't know I'll feel
bad about my impressions.

- Good. (claps)

- And uh, take a fresh sh*t
and move back three spaces

and hold the player's hand
to your left

till your next turn.

- Whoa, whoa, what?

Why am I getting punished?

- I'll join you.
- I'm trapped.

- I'm sorry.
- For posterity.

- This is great.

- [Cliff] I can hold hands,
come on.

- [Troy] Okay, okay, got it.

- [Paul] Alright, you, Sam?

- Oh, okay, yep.

- One, uno.

- [Paul] I'll go ahead
and help you out there.

- God you are...

I'm still losing.

f*ck, okay.

What are you so scared of
that you hide in your work?

Ooh.
- Go to hell, Cliff.

- That was (indistinct), bro.

- What?
- Don't what me.

You're always like, "This
is a work-free zone, Sam."

Oh, coincidentally, the game's
talking about my work life?

What does it say?

(ominous music)

- What the f*ck?
- That's really specific.

How do you,
how do you even answer that?

- Uh, easily.

I'm not scared of anything,

because I'm good at what
I do and I love my job.

- Right.
- That's, I mean, yeah.

It's a dumb question and it's a-

- Um, bad.
- We're just gonna move on.

- Yeah, just go on.
- Yeah.

- Totally.

- What?
- I'm f*cked up.

- [Samantha] What does it say?

- Uh-
- What, Cliff?

- Uh...
- Cliff?

Lying is forbidden.

So drink a full beer and
remain conjoined

until someone rolls a six.

This is terrible.
- Conjoined?

- Conjoined?
- Uh...

(Paul laughing)

- I guess you're conjoined.
- Okay, whatever,

I need a beer.

(Troy groans)

Troy!
- What are you doing?

- Let go of my hand.
- Stop playing.

- You, stop it.

- Oh my God.

- Troy, I'm,
- Here, here, since you don't

wanna leave me,
- Oh wow, wow.

- [Troy] You might as well just
go ahead and take this home.

- This is f*cking weird, right?

- I think these two are
f*cking with each other.

Just f*ck, it's your turn,
go, go, go, go.

- Hey, sit down.
- Okay, okay, okay, I'm up,

I'm up.
- He's up, he's up.

(Cliff clears throat)

- Two and then here we go
and, okay,

catharsis is good for the soul.

If you could tell anyone
to go f*ck themselves,

who would it be?

- [Troy] Oh,
this game is getting spicy

and I like it.

- I don't like it.
I don't wanna...

- No, come on,
I would k*ll for that card.

I'd tell half of LA to go
f*ck themselves.

- Same, like those shitbags
that didn't buy my house.

- Right, or that bitch
of a ex-wife of yours.

- Oh, oh.
- Hell yeah, f*ck her.

She's trash.
- Thanks, Troy.

I almost forgot about that.

- I'm sorry.
- No, you didn't.

- No, I didn't.
- You really didn't.

- You guys are,
I love my friends.

- Cliff, come on, what?
Who is it?

- Okay, okay, okay.

When I was in, when I was in,
when I was in high school...

- [Samantha] Aww.

- There was a girl.
- Story time.

- Oh.
- Claire.

- I like her already.

(Samantha shushes)

- She asked me to the
Sadie Hawkins' dance.

My mom got us matching plaids.

- Wow.
- And then the day of,

she f*ckin' ditches me for
Chad Hopson.

- She ditched you for a Chad?

- [Cliff] A f*cking Chad!

- Oh!
- She sucks.

- Yeah, I agree.
- And because she sucks-

- Oh, here he goes.
- I'm gonna have to,

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

get it, big boy.
- I'm gonna have to

say that it's Claire
m*therf*cking Sullivan.

(Samantha and Paul cheering)

- Here it goes.

(woman screams)

- Maybe it's the pizza.

- [Woman] Oh my God!

- No, that's definitely
not the pizza.

- Where'd you get the
flashlight?

- The department store.

- Guys, come on.
- Ow.

- Come on.
- What are you doing?

(Samantha shushing)

- Slow down, slow down.

(Paul shushing)

(Woman crying)

- Is anybody there?
- Somebody needs to check.

- f*ck you.
- Cliff, it's your house, go.

- I can hear you.
- Go, go, go, go.

- Okay, okay, okay.

(ominous music)

What is that?
- What?

You're such a p*ssy.

- Stop it.

- What is that?
- I don't know.

(Samantha screaming)

- What am I doing here?

Where am I?
- Claire?

- Oh God,
please don't hurt my baby.

Please!
- Oh, oh, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no,

Claire, we,
we were just playing a game.

(Claire sobbing)

Oh God, sorry.

That was the wrong thing to say.

- Oh God, oh God,
oh God, oh God.

- Uh, I,
- Uh, I, Cliff, Cliff,

Cliff, Cliff.

Say it, you have to,
you have to-

- She's holding her baby.
- Say it!

- You have to say it.
- Okay, Claire.

- Cliff Carson?

From Samo High.
What am I doing here?

Say what?
What do you have to say?

- Claire, go f*ck yourself.

(Cliff gasps)

- No, no, no.
- f*ck that, f*ck that,

f*ck that, f*ck that, f*ck that.

Go, go, go, go!

- No.
- Oh my God, oh my God.

Oh my God. Go!

(all screaming)

Oh my God.
- Ow.

- What the f*ck is going on?
- Somebody call the police.

- Then let go of my hand.

- Why are we still doing this?

- Stop it, stop it.

- Call the police.
- Stop it.

- Hurry up.
- I don't have no,

- Move.
- I don't have any service.

Your f*cking Wi-Fi sucks now.

- What?
- Now my Instagram

won't even load.
- Lady!

Lady, help us!

Lady!

(window screeches)

Windows don't work.

- What?
- Windows don't work.

- It's not f*cking,
- What do you mean

the windows don't work?
- Uh, guys...

- What are you doin'?
What are you doin'?

Stop.
- Oh, man,

this isn't happening.

What does the card say?

- "This is happening."

Cliff, where'd you get the game?

- I, the credenza.

I,
- f*ck the credenza,

- Easy, Troy.

Where did you get,
where did you get it?

- Um, uh, my buddy Rey,
he sells used furniture.

- Okay, who had it before
your buddy, Rey?

- No, I didn't ask that, I mean,

- What, did you check the
CARFAX on the furniture?

- I was super high when I got-
- Sweet, sweet.

And super helpful, Cliff.

By the way,
thank you for a great evening.

This is a lot of fun.

- Hey.
- Paul, I don't think he knew

he was buying a cursed credenza.

- Thank you, Sam.
- This is my point, Sam.

He doesn't think.

- Oh, f*ck you, dude.
- Hey.

- f*ck me?
Are you f*cking kidding me?

Look at what's happen-
- No, you guys, you guys!

There's new writing.

- What?
- What?

- The rules were there for
all to see.

You chose to ignore them.

- No, no, that's not-
- No, no, no.

- That's not true.
You read the rules!

- I, I heard you.

- But I didn't. Did I, Cliff?

- Technically, no, she didn't.

- [Samantha] You wanna tell
everybody why?

- I didn't let her finish
all the rules, but-

- You never let people finish.

Dude, you never let
people finish.

- Oh my god, oh my God,
out of my f*cking way.

Get out of my-
- Who reads the rules

on a drinking game?
- Hold on, hold on, hold on,

hold on, hold on.

Yeah, okay, there's, uh,

there's a warning,
uh (indistinct)

- Yes, hello?

- One of the players
must win before sunrise

or all will be forced to play...

- To?
- Forced to play what?

- Or all will be forced
to play for eternity.

- That's what it
literally says on the box?

(Troy laughs)

- Okay. Okay, producer.

Right? Okay, yeah.

You got a hit.

Alright, I auditioned for these
elaborate-ass prank TV shows

at the beginning of my career.

I know what the f*ck
is going on.

- We just watched a mom
and a baby evaporate.

How can a show explain that?

- Holograms.
- Holograms?

- [Troy] Mm-hmm. Holograms.

You're good at what you do.

What's the budget on this?
- What does that card say?

What does it say?

(ominous music)

Holograms?

- I'm sorry, you were right.

This is a game, I'm sorry.

- Guys, this is like
some f*cked up episode

of "Black Mirror" or something.

- No, it's more like "Outer
Limits" by Hitchcock.

- It's crazy that you
would say that.

It's definitely like
"Black Mirror".

- It's not crazy,
because "Black Mirror's"

about technology and this game

is made of cardboard.
- Yeah, this is impeding

our technology, so attracts.
- It's, the "Black Mirror"

is an homage to the face

of a mobile phone.
- It's an observation

of our current situation.

- It doesn't-
- And so it does.

It's doesn't,
- Because we are in the midd,

- I doesn't attract,

it doesn't attract,
- I'm telling you,

- Can we not?

(ominous music)

- Oh, sorry, we've been
drinking for hours.

This game tricked us.

- Okay, so, what do we do now?

- (sighs) We keep playing.

- It's your turn, Paul.

- Do me a favour.

Roll a six.

- Do us both a favour.

(Samantha shushes)

(dice clanks)

(Samantha sighs)

- [Paul] Okay, go ahead.

- Welcome back, Paul.
- Oh, f*ck you, guys.

- Shh, let him finish.
- Let's play charades. Okay.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Have your friends guess
your favourite movie,

but without using any words.

So, we're playing charades.
- Charades.

(hour glass clanks)

- No one wants to say anything
about that?

- Stay focused, stay focused,

stay focused, stay focused.

- Okay, okay.

- Guy, let's play charades.
- Yep, mm-hm, you got it.

Come on, Paulie.
- Alright, boom.

- Uh, we love ch,
we love charades.

- We love, okay.

Okay, alright.
- Huh, favourite movie.

Um, uh, uh...

- What?
- Oh, f*ck.

You know lithium, but you don't
know your favourite movie?

- Kind of a lot has
happened since then, Troy.

- Okay, okay, okay.

It says from memory, so
think of something iconic

like from your childhood.

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, okay, okay, okay.

I have it, I have it.

- Great.

Okay.
- Uh

- Okay, keep going.

- "Lion King", "Lion King"!
- "Invisible Man"?

- " Fast Furious"?
- Uh, a w*r?

- "Tokyo Drift"?
- "Saving Private Ryan"!

Uh, what?

- "Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon".

- "Fast and Furious".
- "Jurassic Park"?

- "Into the Woods"?
(indistinct)

"Space Jam".
- "Jurassic Park".

- "Spider-Man".
- "Popcorn".

- Uh...
- "Babe".

- "The Last of the Mohicans".

- f*ck.
- Uh, uh...

- [Samantha] "Charlotte's Web".

- Oh, oh, oh.
- Oh, "Pocahontas".

- Oh, "Star Wars".
- "Star Wars".

- Yes!
- Yes!

- Yes!
- There we go.

- Thank you, thank you.
- Boom.

Everything else was in
question, but yeah, wow.

- I was nervous there for a sec.

- You, you were nervous.

- Yeah, right.
- What the hell was that?

(wind whooshing)
(flesh squelching)

- Okay.
- What was that?

- [Cliff] Where?

(Cliff screaming)

- Oh my God! Oh my God!
- Oh, it hurts, oh, it hurts.

Oh, oh, oh.
- Stop jumping, Cliff!

You're making it worse.
- Where's the first aid kit?

Where's the first aid kit?

- I don't live here!
- Where's the first aid kit?

- It's in the bathroom!

- [Samantha] Go, get it.
Go get it.

Go already, go.

- Ow!
- Troy!

- Go, you, the wrong way.

(ominous music)

- Oh, sh*t.
- Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry, are you okay?

- Do you need anything?

What can I get you?

- Ah, f*ck, Tequila.

- No, that's not a good idea.

- Tequila!
- Okay.

- Oh my God.

- Okay, I got,
I got first aid right here.

- Dude, this looks ancient.

- Why do you think the
game sh*t me?

- Uh, you know, I actually

think this was meant for Paul.

- Me, why?

- Because you leaned
forward and it missed you.

You did something wrong.

- Uh, that's ridiculous,

I didn't do any wrong.

- Did you use words?
- No.

- No, actually he did exactly

what the game wanted him to do.

Uh, use charades to describe
your favourite movie, right?

- R-right.

- Wh-
- Paul?

- Right?
- What?

- [Troy] What's that?

- Oh, okay, okay.

It's a, it's a,
it's "Apocalypto".

- What?

- My, my favourite movie is-
- Apoca what?

- Is "Apocalypto".
- Then why the f*ck

did you act out "Star Wars"?

- Do you know any scenes
from "Apocalypto", Sam?

- It's not my favourite
movie, Paul.

- Yeah, maybe.
- Okay, f*ck you.

You're the one that said think
of something iconic, Sam.

Okay?
- So, you're,

now you're blaming me?

- Okay, alright, wait,
- Guys!

- Okay, okay, okay.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- Uh, I'm gonna need your
help, okay?

- Okay.
- Are you gonna pull it out?

- No, no.

Because if I do that, um,
you'll bleed out and die.

So um, what we're gonna do,

what we're gonna do is,
we're just gonna break it

and then wrap you up quick.

Right?
- And is that not gonna hurt?

- Absolutely. Absolutely.
- Yes.

- [Cliff] Oh man.

- Okay, shh, shh, just easy,
easy, easy.

You gonna rip this?
- Wait, oh wait.

Don't do that thing
where you say

you're gonna pull it on three

and then do it on one, okay?

- Okay.

- What would you like us to do?

- I want you to say on
three. Okay?

One, two, three, snap.

- Got you.
- Okay?

- Okay, okay.
- We got you.

Okay, so,
we're just gonna count to three.

Yeah, okay?

Ready?

(arrow creaking)

(Cliff screaming)
(blood bubbling)

(Paul retching)

- You're making...

- Did you see that f*cking hole?

- Get your sh*t together.

Go get the second card, so we
can finish the f*cking game.

- Okay.
- Go!

- [Cliff] The one thing
I said, wait until three.

I said wait until three.

- Rules are in place for
a reason and punishments

are how we evolve.

You cheated, Paul.

- Card-

- You cheated, Paul,

once with your duplicity,
and again by evading

your comeuppance.

Now one of your own must
decide how to discipline you.

Beware if they fall short,
all will be punished.

- What does that mean?

- It means,
one of us has to punish Paul

or else we all get the same.

- We'll all get arrows?
- Dude.

Can, don't just blurt
that sh*t out?

Yeah, you wanna think up the
Stay Puft Marshmellow Man,

while you're at it?

- Okay, take it easy.

You're the reason he was
sh*t in the first place.

- I didn't sh**t him with
an arrow, Sam.

The game did.

And, and,
and if it's so magical,

how did it miss me?

Maybe, it's messing with
our heads?

Did you ever think of that?

- Just like in "Saw".

- [Paul] Oh my God, man.

- Okay, well,
we just have to think

of a way to punish Paul,
but not like decapitate him.

- Oh, oh, okay, cool.
- What?

- So, just like slightly
maim me.

- Okay, Paul.

This game isn't f*cking around,

so we need to come up with
a punishment

or we are all getting
worse, okay?

- f*ck that, no, I'm sorry.

No. Okay?

I did not even wanna play
this game, you three insisted.

You made me play it,
basically, okay?

And I'm sorry, but none of you

are capable of dishing out a
balanced judgement , alright?

Troy, you only think of things

that are quick and easy for you.

Cliff's brain is a,
is a bag of cats.

- Hey.
- And Sam, you and him,

you dated for what, a
f*cking year, and then,

and then when you broke up,

you went completely
f*cking insane.

- Hey, you know what?

f*ck you! Go to hell, Paul!

(ominous music)

(Paul pops)
(Cliff gasps)

- Oh, no, no, no. Sam.
- Where'd he go?

- Sam?
- Where'd he go?

- Paul?
- Hell?

- Come back.

Come back from hell, Paul.

(all scream)

Whoa.

Are you, buddy, are you okay?

Paul, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it.

I was just, I was just
really f*cking angry at you.

I'm sorry.
- You want some Tequila?

- Okay, this game has been
pinning us against each other.

It's : a.m. and we-
- What?

How is that possible?
- Look, we...

We have to work fast and
we have to work together

or else we're never gonna get
out of here.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- So, uh, how was hell?

(Samantha sighing)

- Ow.

A real leader can command
under any circumstance.

Before the music stops,
lead the others

in your own personalised
Jazzercize choreography.

- What?

- Oh, oh, oh, that's not so bad.

- Oh, so you, you know a tonne
of Jazzercize routines, Troy?

Oh.

- What?

- Oh.
- Oh, oh.

- Uh, what?

Uh, Sam.

- [Announcer] Live from
Venice, California.

Here to defend their lives,

we have Troy, Paul, Cliff,
and their leader, Samantha.

- Sam. What do we do?

- Uh...

Just, just follow me.

Uh, uh, uh, lean.

- Lean?
- Other way. Lean.

- Okay.
- Circles.

- Cir, okay.
- Do it again.

- Okay.
- Um, in and out.

- Okay, like jumping jack?

- Yeah. Come on, Troy.
- Ow!

(buzzer buzzing)

- Troy!

- Wah, what, what,
why, why, why?

What did we do?

- You guys gotta join hands.

Join hands, yes.
- Hold hands?

- Oh, give it to me.

Okay, okay, okay.

- Five, six, seven, eight.
Here we go.

Lean, lean.

Lean.

Lean.

Uh, circle.

Another one.

In and out.

(indistinct)

(upbeat music)

Alright, shoulder.

Behind, go behind.

Behind.

(buzzer buzzing)

- Alright, behind, behind,

behind, behind.

Sorry, for-
- It's okay, it's okay.

- Okay.
- We got this!

- Whoo!
- Five, six, seven, eight.

And kick.

And kick.

And out.

Here we go, circles.

Circle.

Yes, yes.

(upbeat music)

(Samantha panting)

Yes, here we go.

Uh, knee.

Knee.

Shoulder.

Go behind me.

Hey.

Out, out.

Sky.

Hips.

(Cliff grunting)

(upbeat music)

(Paul panting)

- Finish strong.
- Do it.

- We finished.

(all panting)

Oh, oh my God.

Did we do it?

Did we do it?

We, what does it say?

- Good work, Samantha.

You may move forward an extra
three spaces

for enthusiasm and quality
leadership.

- Okay, quality leadership,
I'll take it.

- Alright, I'm next.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Okay, yeah.

- But before you go, let's
take care of the bandages.

- Yeah, that, that really-
- That looks awful.

- No, f*ck that,
we're on a roll.

- Okay, it's going.

- [Troy] Boom.

(Troy and Samantha screaming)

Oh my God. Finally, finally.

Oh my God. Get off of me now.
- Get off my face.

- Oh, gosh.
- Oh, man.

- I will never doubt you
again, Cliff.

- [Cliff] That's right.

Now read that next card, bitch.

- Okay, let's just take
that one down a notch,

and I regretted it.

Literally the second-
- No, you actually believe

that lions, tigers, and
elephants are native to the US?

- And I eventually
figured it out.

- Oh, you eventually did it?
- Oh, I'm happy, I'm happy.

- [Paul] Did you finally
get access to the internet?

- Look, I grew up in LA,

I don't know what to tell
you, okay?

All I knew was there was a zoo.

- Answer.
- I grew up in LA.

- Yeah.
- I'm from LA, too, okay.

- Oh, Jesus.
God bless you, Cliff.

But, God bless Sam's mom
for her cr*ck cookies.

- Mm.
- Thank you.

- Oh, yes.
- Sam, seriously,

they're so good.

Can she just be my mom?

- I mean, she practically is.

She asks about you ass-hats,

more than she asks about me.

- Aww.
- Aww.

Did she ask about me?

- [Alice] You love moms.

- Can I actually grab one
more, please?

- What's up with those two?
- They broke up.

Yesterday.

I just, I just hope
things don't get weird.

- Samantha, hey.
- Hi!

- How you doin'?
- Hi.

- Who's that?

- Alright!
- Okay.

Nice!

Dude, you get this one right

and you're just one turn away

from ending this fiasco.

- Hey, no pressure, please.

- [Cliff] Uh, what time is it?

- It's close to : a.m.
- Almost : .

- We gotta, card, card,
card, Paul, card.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Um...
- Okay.

- Go ahead.
- It says,

"Why did you lie, Troy?"

- What, how?

(hourglass clanks)

- What does that mean?
What does that mean?

- I don't know, I don't know.

- Troy.
- I don't know.

- [Samantha] Troy,
what does that mean?

- Maybe, it's referencing
the question earlier

about your regret,
your biggest regret.

(camera clicks)

Troy?

- Troy?

- I, I didn't lie.

I, I-
- What?

- Oh, no.

What does the next card say?

You were warned, Troy.

Until you learn to be
honest with yourself,

a fresh perspective will do
you some good.

- [Troy] Fresh perspective?

- Sam?

- Why'd you just call me Sam?

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, you f*cking assh*le.

- I miss one f*cking question.

- Uh, wait, is this, wait, wait.

- This secret's about us,
isn't it?

Oh, you can't even admit
what you did

even when our f*cking lives
depend on it.

- What I did?
- Can we just take a second?

- Oh, I knew, I knew in my soul

you were f*cking someone else

which is why you broke
up with me.

You couldn't even look at
me anymore.

- Oh, hell no.

- Who's that?
- I don't know.

- Mm, good to see you.
- It's so good you're here.

- Troy. I'll be back, Troy.

- No, no, no, no.

Was I not allowed to move on?

- I wasn't f*cking anyone
else, Sam.

You and I got in one fight
and you said

it was getting too complicated
and wanted to end it.

- To which you said, "Cool."

Troy, you said, "Cool."

Why else would you say that?

- What else was I supposed
to say?

- I don't know, you
could have fought for me.

Oh, but I wasn't perfect
enough for perfect Troy.

Right, and we were friends.

Why was I the only one that
was supposed to be hurting?

- So, you bring a dude to a
party to hurt me on purpose?

- Yes.
- Wow.

That's some cold sh*t.

And you wonder why you're alone?

- At least I'm not a
f*cking failure.

I am a working producer.

You don't think I know about you

going around town begging
for these little jobs?

Oh, and this little night
club situation (titters),

that's bullshit and I
know that for a fact.

You lying, pathetic,
f*cking cliche.

- You know,
I just realised something.

You never cancel work
or anything for anyone.

They cancelled on you
tonight, didn't they?

Yeah, you're not here for Paul.

You're here for you.

What were you doing in the
bathroom, Sam?

Having some of your happy pills?

- f*ck you, Troy.

- Okay, uh, you know what, guys.

Why don't I just roll
us a joint?

- f*ck you, Sam.
- No, f*ck you.

- Sam!

(table clanking)

- Sam, oh my God.
- I didn't, I didn't mean-

- Jesus Christ, get the
f*ck out of the way.

- Dude, are you okay?

- Oh, oh, sh*t.

That does not look good.
- You alright?

- Cliff, I am so sorry.

- No, don't be.

Honestly, I can't even
feel anything anymore.

- Don't do that.
- Don't, don't, don't-

- What is wrong with you, Sam?
- You're big,

I barely even touched him.

- Come on.
- You didn't even

- Guys, guys, guys.

Knock the sh*t off, okay?

Come on, we have less than
an hour to finish this game.

Alright, no more holding back.

No more f*cking lying, alright?

Cliff, are you cool to go on?

- I'm good.
- Sam?

- Yes.
- Troy.

- Right, alright, let's go.

Alright, here we go.

Man, you are an assassin
with that thing!

- Hmm, okay.

The path to freedom is
treacherous.

If Troy doesn't have the
strength to make

the difficult decisions,
maybe you do.

Tell him what you saw
at that party, Cliff.

- [Paul] You okay, Cliff?

- Cliff.
- I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

- Mm, good to see you.
- It's so good you're here.

- Troy.
- I got it.

Uh, Troy.
- Poor guy.

- Can I get you a drink?
- Mm-hmm.

- Okay, okay.

Sorry.
- Thank you.

- Troy, Troy, Troy,
come on, come on.

Come on, man.

Come on.
- What the f*ck is that?

- It's...
- Huh?

Hmm?
- What, it's Sam.

Come on, let's go back outside.

We'll play some beer pong.

You f*cking stop drinking.

Come on, let's go outside.

Come on.

("Pompeii" by Bastille)

- I'ma get my phone.
- Okay.

♪ Fell away with nothing
to show ♪

♪ And the walls kept
tumbling down ♪

♪ In the city that we love ♪

- Oh my God.

That was a really shitty
thing to do, huh?

- Oh, she can do what,
whatever she wants.

- Yeah, 'cause she doesn't
deserve you.

'Cause you're amazing and
you're gonna be famous.

- Thank you, but I don't
know about all that.

- You're on TV all the time.

So, it's only a matter of time.

- We'll see.

- Not with that attitude
you won't.

Okay, I gotta tell you
something.

If you really want something,
like really, really want it,

you just have to take it.

(lips squelching)

- Hey, Troy,
I was thinking we could...

f*ck.
- f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Stay, you stay here.

♪ Tumbling down in the city
that we love ♪

♪ Grey clouds roll over
the hills ♪

♪ Bringing darkness from above ♪

- Troy, Troy!
- What's up?

- How you doin', man?
- Good, good.

- Have you, uh,
have you seen Al?

- (blows raspberries) Nope.

- You okay?
- I'm fine, yeah.

♪ But if you close your eyes ♪

- [Fan] Yo,
your name's Troy, right?

You were in that, that,
that show "JV Squad", right?

- [Troy] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got me, man.
- Oh my God!

(indistinct)

(all screaming)

- [All] Freedom!

(all laughing)

- Yes, it is!

- [Samantha] Paul?

- I think before-
- I'm Sam, I'm Sam, I'm Sam.

I'm Sam.
- f*ck!

f*ck! f*ck!

f*ck.

- Paul, look,
let's just talk about it-

- You had eight f*cking
years to talk about it, man.

- Dude, we were all drunk.
- Drunk?

Are you serious?
That's your excuse?

You were in my wedding.

All of you.

- Yeah.

What were we supposed
to say, man?

You were in love with her.

I-
- Just stop!

I didn't ask for any of this.

Not to get divorced, not
to come to this sh*t hole,

Not to play this f*cked up game.

I don't deserve it.

And if one of you f*ckers
would have been honest

with me,
would have been a friend,

none of this would be happening
right now.

- He's always the victim.
- Excuse me?

- Yeah, I f*cked up.

And I hate myself for it
and I should have told you,

but you knew exactly the
kind of person she was.

We all did.

I mean, that's the reason

you cut us out of your
life, right?

Not cause of her.

But because you knew it
was only a matter of time

before something like
this happened.

And you married her anyway.

That's on you.

(bottle crashes)

- If you two are done
cheering him up,

I'm gonna go talk to him.

- No, no.

I'm gonna go talk to him, okay?

You look like him and you
sound like him.

Can you help me up?

Thank you.

f*ck.

(door knocking)

Hey. Uh,
it's neither of the Troys.

(Cliff laughs)

Okay.

Yeah, that was a good joke,
bad time.

Um. (sighs)

I don't know.

I don't know, Troy f*cked up.

I did too.

Um, I don't...

Do difficult, I don't do...

But, um, I thought you were
gonna hate me if I told...

Then I saw you guys
the next week

and you just looked so
happy, and I was like,

"Who am I to take away that
happiness?"

You know, it's not...

I know I was wrong, okay?

I screwed up again.

But right now, Paul,

we need you.

We really need you.

(calm music)

- I'm sorry.

- No, it's...

We both messed up.

I mean you messed up way worse.

Is that why, you know,
you don't wanna...

- Alice?

Nah.

- Then why, never mind.

It's okay.

- Okay.

He's not coming.

(calm music)

- Is there anybody, oh, baby!

Oh my God. There you are.

You have no idea we got
Cliff so bad.

- I'm leaving.
- Is everything okay?

- Oh my God, I hate it
when you ask me that.

It makes me feel like
something is wrong with me.

Just stay and drink again.

And I, I, I,
I called a cab, so...

- Hey, where is this
coming from?

Like I...

Are you,
are you sure everything's okay?

- Nothing is wrong,

I just wanna leave.

- Do you want me to
come with you?

Okay, we'll go.

I'll, I'll just tell
Sam and the guys that-

- Do whatever you want,
I'm leaving.

- Hold on a second.

What is, what is hap, why,
how, what is...

What happened? What did I do?

(door clicks)

- Whoa, whe, where is she going?

- Uh, she's not feeling well.

So I'm, I'm actually gonna
go with her,

make sure she gets home safe.

- Um, alright.

Well, have a good night.
- You too.

(camera clicks)

Al, Al, hold on.
- No. Hold on.

- No, no, I'm,
I'm tired of this.

- No, no, no, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, okay?

I, I didn't even wanna come
here today.

I, I, they begged me.

I'm just trying to make the
best of it.

I mean, those parties are
getting exhausting, right?

Look at this.
- Really?

- Really.

- Okay, well, my friend Chloe's
hosting a party in WeHo.

- Let's go.

Let's go.

- Let's go.
- Let's go.

Come on, come on.
- I got it.

- You got it?

(upbeat music)

- [Samantha] Paul, he's,
he's done?

- He's done.

So Sam...
- Sam.

- You?
- Mm-hmm.

- [Cliff] It's your turn.
Let's do it.

- [Troy] I wanna answer
your question.

- You really don't have to.

- You're a force, Sam.

I mean, it's, it's the reason
why you're so successful.

(calm music)

But it's also why I never felt
like I was enough for you.

So yeah, I just let it end,
'cause...

'Cause that was easier than
dealing with my own failures.

And I've been missing my
best friend ever since.

- [Cliff] That was beautiful.

- A little heavy on the cheese.

(Cliff gasps)

- Oh, oh. (laughs)
- Oh.

- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- Oh, my d*ck.

Oh.
- Wait, what happened?

Not that I'm complaining.
- I'm pretty sure you finally

were honest with yourselves.

So that's a first.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding,
I'm kidding.

Also, the sun is coming up

and I am getting woozy, so.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- We gotta go, we gotta go,

we gotta go.
- Yeah, yeah.

I missed you too, buddy.

- And roll the dice.
- Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, okay, alright.
- Oh yes!

- Oh, there we go, there we go.

Just bring it home.

Okay, let's see now over here.

Finish the end of the sentence
before the timer runs out.

- Sentence, what, what sentence?

- They called again, Sam.
Where are you?

- [Samantha] I'm coming,
I'm coming.

Sorry, I had to park five
blocks away.

Valet is a fortune.

- Thank God, okay, I, I
was running out of excuses.

Go get him, Sam.

- Thanks.

Ugh, hey, mom.
- Hi, hon.

Just checking in on my girl.
- Oh, sh*t, it's your mom.

- [Samantha] Uh, mom, listen,
now is not a good time, okay?

- Oh, I didn't mean to
be a bother.

I just haven't heard your voice

in a few weeks and wanted to-

- Yeah, uh, mom, I've got
people waiting for me, okay?

Can I call you back?

- Ooh, who are you meeting?

Some fancy Hollywood
producer types?

- [Samantha] Okay, mom?

- Mary came into my shop
again, asking about-

- Mom!

- So, Sam, do you, do you, uh,

do you remember what you said?

- I can't.

- But, I understand that
it's tough,

but you, you have to say it.

- Oh, no.

- Mom, I'm f*cking busy, okay?

If I wanna talk to you,
I will call you, okay?

Bye.

(Sam sobbing)

- Sam?

Sam?

When was that?

(Sam sobbing)

- That's the last thing I
said to my mom. (sobbing)

- Sam.

(Samantha sobbing)

- She had a, a stroke
a couple of days later.

She was gone, I, (sobbing)

I didn't, I didn't,
I didn't tell anybody,

because I was so ashamed,
I was so embarrassed.

I, I just, I, I, I,
I buried myself

in my work and I don-,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I didn't tell you. I'm sorry.

I just, I, I, I, uh, I...

She loved you guys.

I just, I never got to
say I'm sorry.

And that I,
and that I loved her.

- She knew you were
working hard.

She was very proud of you.

Understand?

She, she knew you didn't
mean none of those words.

She knew you loved her.

And she still does, understand?

Okay?
- Mm.

- Come here, come here.

(Samantha sniffles)

Okay?
- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Hey, remember when I
threw you into a credenza?

(all laughing)

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Yeah, 'cause you were
in his body.

- It's okay.

- Yeah,
she took advantage of me.

- Might've, might've, she
might've taken advantage of you.

- Remember when you sent
Paul to hell?

- We gotta finish this
f*cking game.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- [Paul] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

- Paul.
- We're fine.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Come on, man, we got,
we got bigger fish to-

- Yeah.

(ominous music)

- Okay, do me a favour.
Roll a six.

- Do us all a favour, please.

- No pressure, right?

- See.

- You have any pointers?

- Uh, yeah,
try not damning us to hell.

- Mm, mm-hmm.
- Well, mm-hmm.

- Alright, yeah.

Right, right, right. Just
no pressure there at all.

(all scream)

(ominous music)

- Jesus Christ.

- Definitely, not him.

- I'm not reading that.

Nope, nope, nope, nope,
nope, nope.

- Yeah, okay, okay.

It is long.

And it's a riddle.

- Oh God. Of course.

- No, no, no, nah, uh-huh.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, come on, come on.
We got this.

- Give morale, give morale,

we're here, we're here.
- We're here, we got this,

we got this, okay?

Okay.
- I took your chance to suc-

(Alice screams)

- What is this?

What did you do to me?

- Okay, relax.

Let us explain a little bit.

So-
- You stay back!

I am calling the police.
- Don't do that.

- Where's my phone?

Help!

Help, somebody help!
- Hey, Alice!

Shut the f*ck up!

We don't have time for
your sh*t.

You're here, we're here.

And if you don't get your
sh*t together,

we're all going to die.

So find a f*cking seat

and let us finish this
godforsaken game.

Cliff, the riddle.

- I took your chance to succeed,

lied about my every misdeed,

attempts to cover done in vain,

introduced your truest pain.

And I who brought your doom

now stand in this very room.

If correct,
we claim only the one.

Misdirect,
and all will become none.

So who is it, Paul? Who am I?

- Okay, what's going on?

Paul?

(hourglass clanks)

Who did that?
- It's the game.

- They brought her here
for a reason,

so you know what to do.

- Someone tell me what's
going on.

- They want me to send
you to hell.

- Okay, okay.

I'm hallucinating.

That's it, because I was at
an after party with Andre.

And then one of you must
have drugged me.

Okay, you know what,
the sun's almost up so-

- Okay, guys, guys, I, I,
I really think

we should talk about this.

Yeah, maybe there's someone
we're not thinking about.

Oh, oh!
- Oh!

- Baby, I'm scared.

- Paul, I know it was hard,
but come on.

- Wait, what if it's not Alice?

- Oh, it's Alice.
- No, no, no.

What if it's one of us?

- What? What did we do?
- But how?

- Okay, you kept his
secret about a misdeed.

- [Troy] Oh, so I'm
supposed to go to hell now?

- No, I'm saying it could
also be me.

I introduced the two of
them, right?

But if Paul gets this wrong...

Guys, guys, guys.
- Oh, no, no, no.

Paul!

Oh, go, go, go, go, go, go.

No, no, no, no, no.

- Paul, Paul, please.
- Take her damn name,

you know I'm right.

- Did you know that Troy
was texting me for months

begging me to leave you,
I had to block his number.

- What?

- And Cliff was always
trying to get me drunk.

That's why I was wasted
all the time.

- No, no.

(Alice grunts)

- Look at them.

You said yourself that
they were holding you back.

See what they've done to you.

Sure, we didn't work
out, but you cannot deny

that there was real love
between us.

- That's a lie too
- Paul, I have only

ever wanted what was
best for you.

I would have never let this
happen to you.

I've only ever wanted
what was best for you!

Do not be stupid, Paul.

Don't let these b*tches
manipulate you.

- No, you do not,

can't say that!
- No, watch your mouth!

- She's lying, don't let-
- Say her name.

- Say her name, Paul, now!

Paul!
- You're manipulative.

(Paul laughing)

- It's me.

Am I dead?

- Do you feel dead?

I think you'd know if you
were dead.

- You're not Alice, are you?

So, I was right then.

What?

- You were correct.

But I wonder what's
more important

that you now know the answer
or that you were right?

- It's the same thing.

- Is it?

Time to go.

Congratulations, Paul.

- Hey!

My friends and I didn't
deserve this.

You know, we're,
we're good people.

- No, you're not.

But you're not bad either.
Just people.

- What?

- He's waking up.
- Hey.

- [Troy] Hey, handsome.
You alright?

- Welcome back, buddy.
- What's up, man?

- How you feelin'?
- Like Dorothy.

- It's a "Wizard of Oz" joke.

He's good.
- Okay.

- Easy, easy.
- Slowly but surely,

here he is.
- There he is.

- It's weird, right?

Everything went back to normal
except for you passing out.

- Yeah, and Alice vanishing
like Claire.

- Mmm.
- That wasn't Alice.

- What was that?
- I don't...

How long was I out?
- A minute, max.

- Oh, c...

Can we have a minute for
how melodramatic you were?

"It's me."

- (gasps) It's me.
- Who are you, Ne-yo?

- Are you f*cking,

I thought I was going
back to f*cking hell.

- I have service.

- Can we actually leave?

- No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- [Cliff] Oh f*ck.

(ominous music)

(Cliff gasps)

- What?
- What?

- What? What?
- The pizza.

- Oh, stupid.
- Oh my God.

Come on, man.
- Come on.

- [Cliff] Wait, can someone
take me to the hospital?

(door bangs)

(tyres screech)

Holy sh*t.

This is where he lives?

You're gonna be okay, buddy?

- Yeah.

- Okay, good luck.

- Be right back.
- Alright.

Fix your pants.
- Okay.

- [Cliff] See a little bit
of underwear.

- Listen,
I'm gonna set up drinks with you

and a producer friend of mine.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, I mean, no guarantees,

but he's making some cool sh*t,

so I feel like you guys
should meet.

- Yeah, okay.

Yeah, thank you.

- Yeah.

And I won't let you down.

- Oh, no, I know you won't.
(chuckles)

- What about you?

- I think I need a vacation.

- I think you do, too.
- You...

(Samantha and Troy laughing)

I think I'm gonna take
a vacation.

I think I'm gonna let Caroline
run things for a while.

- I'm here for you.

(doorbell chiming)

- Paulie!
- Hello, Andre.

- Oh, you look sleepy.
- Thanks.

Is Alice here?

Could I talk to her please?

- Have you come to rescue her?

- Alice, Alice.

- What?

You don't know?

You talk about comedic timing.
(laughing)

- Alice! Alice, hold on.
- What? What?

You wanna gloat?

God, you were right, okay?

He's a piece of sh*t.

Happy?
- I didn't know.

Alice, you asked me to come here

to sign the divorce papers,
remember?

- Oh.
- What happened?

- Andre said that we were
losing our fire

and so he suggested that
we keep things open.

He's almost ,
so I thought he was over

the Hollywood Bacchanalia
bullshit.

- Will you be okay?

- Paul, I'm so sorry about

how I am.

You know, I'm just,

and you're...

You're good.

Just, I think I have
some issues to work out.

- Maybe just a few.

(Alice laughs)

- You gonna be okay?

- Me?
- Yeah.

- Suntan looks really
good on you.

Oh, Paul! The, the papers.

- Yeah.

(car engine roaring)

- Wherever I end up going,
I can assure...

Guys, guys, guys, guy!
- Don't be like that.

- Shh, shh, shh.
- What?

Oh sh*t.
- Look at his face.

- Hey, buddy, how'd it go?
- Hey.

- They broke up.
- They bro-

- What?
- Well, that's Karma.

- Wait, wait, hold on.

You're not getting back
together though, are you?

- Oh God, no.
- Oof.

- I'm not insane.
- Okay.

Well, you know,
just wanna make sure.

- What happened?
Did you cuss her out?

- No.

I gotta stop being so
righteous, dude.

- What in the devil is that?

- Oh, oh.
- Hey, Paulie.

Uh, look, I just want to say,

uh, I always thought you
were like totally chill guy

but you know,
how you stayed with her

for so long, I have no idea.

You are like Job from the Bible.

You know, from the Bible, Job.

Anyway, to make the long
story more short,

uh, Alice is gone.

So you and friends, hello,
friends, hello.

You and friends can
come inside, enjoy, huh?

We're gonna party all day.

We're gonna party all night.

Huh?

There's tonnes of p*ssy inside.

You and me, we could be
like double eskimo brothers.

Yeah?
- I think we're good.

- Suit yourself. Au revoir!

- Au revoir!
- Au revoir, voir!

- See ya!

- What?

Why aren't we going inside?

- That's the guy?

He's like a walking
sexual harassment lawsuit.

- Yeah.

Man, his loafers are cool.

But the harassment thing
is important.

- Paul, are you okay?

(doorbell chiming)

- Paulie.

You come to get more crazy?

- [Samantha] We're not having
this conversation anymore.

What, oh, alright.
- There.

Are you done, Mr. Righteous man?

- Uh, I'm done being
righteous now.

Let's get out of here.

- Hey, you guys.
We gonna play a game.

(guests cheering)

Hey, it's...
- Here, hey, guys,

check it out.

- (gasps) Nice!
- Wait, that was today?

- Yeah!
- You took that,

I thought I was dead.

You thought I was dead.
- Yeah, I know.

- [Samantha] Yeah,
it was hilarious.

(ominous music)