A Charlie Brown Valentine (2002)

[bunniefuu]

Charlie Brown Valentine, A (2002)

[TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING]

I hate it when he gets an idea in the middle of the night.

[TYPEWRITER DINGS]

A Valentine's card for Valentine's Day.

"Roses are red, chocolate is brown"?

Good grief.

Valentine's Day puzzles me, Chuck.

If someone gives you a great big valentine, does that mean love, Chuck?

Well, it could, of course.

But, actually, the size of the valentine isn't important.

How about an expensive valentine, Chuck?

Does that mean love?

Oh, no.

I don't think the price has anything to do with love.

Should a valentine be mailed or should it be presented in person, Chuck?

I don't think it really matters.

Have you been given a lot of valentines in your time, Chuck?

No.

I've never received a single valentine.

Well, then what am I talking to you for?

I should be talking to someone who is used to getting valentines.

Hey, maybe that kid with the funny nose can answer my question.

Hey, kid, wait a second.

[TYPEWRITER DINGS]

"Dear sweetheart.

" That's too impersonaI.

I think you should call her something more endearing.

[TYPEWRITER DINGS]

"Dear angeI food cake with seven-minute frosting.

" Your stories are dumb.

They don't have enough romance.

I've just been reading a very romantic book.

The man says to the woman: "You are breath and bread and water to me.

" That's the sort of thing you should write.

[TYPEWRITER DINGS]

"'You are breath and bread and water to me,' he said.

'And chocolate-chip cookies.

"' Good grief.

[TYPEWRITER DINGS]

"Dear sweetheart, I miss you morning, noon and night.

" That's too vague.

When you write to a girI, you have to be more specific.

[TYPEWRITER DINGS]

"I miss you at 8:15, 11:45 and 9:36." Good grief.

[TYPEWRITER DINGS]

"Dear sweetheart, happy Valentine's Day.

I'd do anything for you.

I'd climb the highest mountain.

I'd dog paddle the deepest ocean.

" [TYPEWRITER DINGS]

"'Your eyes are beautifuI,' he said.

'Shall I compare them to a summer's day?

No, even more.

Your eyes are like two supper dishes.

Be my valentine.

"' You just gave me an idea.

I'm going to make my own valentine this year.

I'm going to cut out some pretty red hearts and then glue lace around them.

What I want you to do is type out a nice verse.

[TYPEWRITER DINGS]

"Chocolate-chip cookies are red Chocolate-chip cookies are blue Chocolate-chip cookies are sweet So are you" This is terrible.

I can't make a valentine with that.

Write another one.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

If I hold my hands out like this, you can put a valentine right in them.

Or you can stand like that for the rest of your life and never get anything.

It feels like it might rain.

I'd give anything to be able to talk to that little red-haired girI.

The amazing thing is that I know I'm the sort of person she'd like.

I mean, I'm not rough or crude or anything.

I'm not the greatest person who ever lived, of course, but after all, who is?

I'm just a nice sort of a guy...

...who never gets to meet little red-haired girls.

What's this?

That little red-haired girI dropped her penciI.

Gee, it's got teeth marks all over it.

She nibbles on her penciI.

She is human.

- What's that you're holding?

- It's a penciI.

It belongs to that little red-haired girI.

I'm going to stand here untiI she walks by...

...and then I'm gonna tell her how I found it.

I hate to see you go to all that trouble, Charlie Brown.

Why don't I just give it to her?

Hey, here's your stupid penciI!

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

Hey, that big kid just pushed down that little red-haired girI.

What a bully.

She got up.

But look, he's gonna push her down again.

Oh, why aren't I tough?

Why can't I rush over there and save her?

Because I'd get slaughtered, that's why.

I'm not tough.

I'm not anything.

I'm...

I'll take care of him, Charlie Brown.

[BLANKET SNAPS]

You can relax, Charlie Brown.

He won't bother her anymore.

That's very comforting.

I'm the friend of a hero.

What are you writing, Marcie?

I'm sending a valentine to Charles.

You can't do that.

He'll think you like him.

I do.

I'm very fond of Charles.

Why don't you sign my name too?

Oh, sure.

Hitch a ride on my valentine.

Yes?

I may or may not be sending you a valentine, Charles...

...so I need to know something.

Do you like me, Charles?

Do I what?

I walk all the way over here to ask you a question...

...and all you can say is, "Do I what?" Forget it, Charles.

Forget what?

Got a letter in the maiI, eh, Chuck?

"I know you like me, and in my own way, I like you too.

" I think it's from that little red-haired girI.

She knows I like her and...

That's not from any little red-haired girI, Chuck.

That letter is from me.

You like me, Chuck.

I do?

Hi, Charles.

Remember yesterday when I went to your house?

I walked all the way over to ask you if you liked me.

To do what?

I can't stand it.

Next week is Valentine's Day.

Are you going to give me a valentine?

I never have.

What makes you think I'll give you one this year?

Hope.

Isn't this a beautifuI valentine?

It says, "I love you.

" I think I'll give it to the little red-haired girI.

She'll probably laugh right in your face.

At least I'd be near her.

What do you think?

This is a valentine I bought the little red-haired girI.

I wanna go over to her house and give it to her...

...but I think I'd be too nervous to do it without practice.

I'll go outside and ring the doorbell...

...and you pretend you're the little red-haired girI, okay?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

CHARLIE: I better practice how I'll give it to her.

Here, little red-haired girl, this is for you.

It's a valentine.

This is a valentine I made specially for you.

Here, little red-haired girl, this is a valentine I want you to have.

Here, little red-haired girl...

...this is a valentine to show how much I like you.

Here, this valentine is for you, sweet little red-haired girl.

Here, little red-haired girI, this valentine is for you.

And I hope you like it as much as I like you and...

[SIGHS]

Hi, Charlie Brown.

Did you give that little red-haired girI your valentine?

I couldn't do it.

I mailed it anonymously.

Hey, sweet babboo, I brought you a valentine.

LINUS: I am not your sweet babboo.

Does it have any monetary value?

I doubt it.

Yes, ma'am.

I'd like to buy a box of candy for a girI who doesn't know I exist.

[WOMAN MUMBLING]

No, ma'am.

Nothing too expensive.

I'll never have the nerve to give it to her anyway.

I'm afraid if I give this box to that little red-haired girI...

...she'll just laugh in my face.

Maybe I can hide behind this tree...

...and when she comes by, she'll take it out of my hand.

Love makes you do strange things.

I think tomorrow I'll just right out and tell that little red-haired girI that I love her.

Then I'll give her a big hug.

Then I'll go bungee jumping from the moon.

Wouldn't it be great if that little red-haired girI gave me a valentine?

What if she came over to me and handed me a big, fancy valentine...

...with lace all around the edges?

What if she said to me, "Dearest Charlie Brown, won't you be my valentine?

Please?

Please?

Please?" I'd better go in.

I think I'm cracking up.

I've decided something.

For Valentine's Day this year, don't get me anything fancy...

...like candy or flowers.

I'll settle for a kiss on the nose and a hug.

Or a whole lot less.

See this valentine I made for Linus?

On the inside, I wrote, "To my sweet babboo.

" He says he's not your sweet babboo.

What does he know?

These are valentines for all the boys at schooI that I like.

And this is a very speciaI one for my sweet babboo.

Does your sweet babboo know who he is?

Oh, yes, he knows who he is.

Do you see my sweet babboo standing there?

He's hanging around the candy store trying to decide...

...what to get me for Valentine's Day.

It'll probably be a box of candy shaped like a big heart.

Or a big zero.

Isn't he the cutest thing?

Look, it's the little red-haired girI.

Maybe I should invite her to the Valentine dance.

Do me a favor.

Go over and talk to her.

Say you know me.

Try to find out if she likes me.

I'll hide here behind this trash can and listen.

LINUS: Hi there.

My name is Linus.

I believe we have a friend in common.

His name is Charlie Brown.

He sits across the room from you in schooI.

No, by the window, near the penciI sharpener.

No, in the last row.

Well, kind of blond, I guess.

No, you're thinking of Mike.

No, not as tall.

A shirt with sort of jagged stripes.

No, not John.

John is a lot bigger.

Sort of a round face.

Doesn't ring a bell, huh?

No, Brown like in "town.

" Just doesn't ring a bell, huh?

I can't stand it.

I just can't stand it.

You're being ridiculous, Charlie Brown.

I can't help it.

I can't just go up to that little red-haired girI and talk to her.

She has a pretty face, and pretty faces make me nervous.

How come my face doesn't make you nervous, huh?

I notice you can talk to me.

I have a pretty face.

How come you can talk to me?

Well, why don't you invite her to the Valentine's dance?

Just go ask her right now.

I can't talk to that little red-haired girI because she is something and I'm nothing.

If I were something and she were nothing, I could talk to her.

Or if she were something and I were something, then I could also talk to her.

Or if she were nothing and I were nothing, then I could also talk to her.

But she's something and I'm nothing, so I can't talk to her.

For a nothing, Charlie Brown, you're really something.

There's that pretty little red-haired girI.

[SIGHS]

I wonder what would happen if I walked over to her desk...

...put my arm around her, and gave her a big kiss?

Wow!

I've gotta stop thinking like that.

Girls like compliments.

If you want to impress that little red-haired girI...

...say something nice to her.

You look really cute today!

[CRASHING]

That really impressed her, Charlie Brown.

She fell right out of her desk.

You've got to be more subtle, Charlie Brown.

If I wink, maybe she will notice me.

I'm not getting any distance.

[TEACHER MUMBLING]

Where are you going, Charlie Brown?

The teacher wants me to see the nurse about my eye.

She saw me winking at the little red-haired girI.

She thinks something's wrong with me eye.

Did you go to the eye doctor yesterday, Charlie Brown?

Yes.

She said there's nothing wrong with my eyes.

They're fine.

Did she tell you to stop winking at girls?

She said that's the first thing they teach you in medicaI schooI.

- Yes?

- Can you cure loneliness?

For a nickeI, I can cure anything.

Can you cure deep-down, black-bottom-of-the-well...

...no-hope, end-of-the-world, what's-the-use loneliness?

For the same nickeI?!

I just had a terrible thought.

What if the little red-haired girI gives me a valentine and she really likes me?

But what if it turns out that I don't like her as much as I thought I was going to?

How could I tell her?

How could I break up with her?

How could I leave her?

You're worried about leaving someone you haven't even met?

Charlie Brown, you are hopeless, completely hopeless.

Maybe I could leave her now and meet her later.

Good grief.

The doctor is no longer in.

Can I help you?

I need a valentine that will impress this girI I like.

Then you'll want this super-potent valentine.

- Potent?

- It'll sweep her off her feet.

It'll knock her socks off.

- All right.

I'll take it.

- Good.

If you come around next Friday, you can pick it up.

Friday?

Why can't I have it now?

It's too potent.

There's a five-day waiting period.

I wonder what I can do to make that little red-haired girI notice me?

Maybe if I walk around the room a bit, I'll bet she notices me now.

[PENCIL SHARPENER GRINDING]

Especially after I get my sleeve caught in the penciI sharpener.

If that little red-haired girI sees me standing here...

...with my sleeve caught in the penciI sharpener...

...she'll think I'm the dumbest person in the world.

What I have to do is wriggle out of my shirt but still look reaI cooI.

Why do we have to stand in line for everything?

- What's the hold up?

- Probably an overturned vehicle.

- Push him out of there.

- What's taking so long?

CHARLIE: I like a penciI with a fine point.

I don't think we should bother with the valentine's box this year, ma'am.

I don't think my sweet babboo would give me a valentine anyway.

LINUS: I am not your sweet babboo.

And how do you know I wouldn't give you a valentine if I were your sweet babboo?

Which I am not.

See the problem, ma'am?

[TEACHER MUMBLING]

Our teacher says we have to have a valentine box.

So here it is.

It's only for valentines.

The opening in the top is not large enough for boxes of candy.

If your sweet babboo wants to give you a box of candy...

...he'll have to give it to you elsewhere.

LINUS: I am not your sweet babboo...

...and you couldn't get me within a hundred miles of elsewhere.

All right.

At ease out there.

Our teacher has asked me to explain how this valentine thing will work.

Each student will drop his or her valentine into this box.

Please write all names clearly.

And now we're down to the last two valentines.

This one is for my sweet babboo and this one for the cutest of the cute.

Will the persons to whom these beautifuI valentines are addressed...

...please step forward?

LINUS: I went home!

This is perfect.

I'll just lie here in front of the mailbox and watch all my valentines come in.

I'm surprised that no one else has thought of doing this.

Get out of there.

How do you expect the mailman to deliver valentines with you in there?

Sometimes, I don't think this was such a good idea.

Fortunately, nothing worse can happen.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[THUNDER CRACKING]

Wouldn't it be something if that little red-haired girI...

...came over here and gave me a kiss?

I'd say, "Thank you.

What was that for?" And wouldn't it be something if she said, "Because I've always loved you"?

Then I'd give her a big hug and she'd kiss me again.

Wouldn't that be something?

And wouldn't it be something if it turned out that french fries were good for you?

She's handing valentines out to all her friends.

She's handing them out one by one.

She's handing them out.

She's still handing them out.

Now she's all done.

That was the last one.

Now she's walking away.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Don't give up, Charlie Brown.

Why don't you get her phone number and call her...

...and invite her to the Valentine's dance?

I'm afraid she'd hang up on my face.

That's the beauty of calling her on the phone.

One ear is not a whole face.

Thank you, ma'am.

There, I did it.

[OPERATOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hello, Information?

Yes.

I'd like to talk to a certain little red-haired girI.

No, I already have her number.

I was hoping you could tell me something else.

What do I say when she answers the phone?

[OPERATOR MUTTERING ANGRILY]

Call her, Charlie Brown.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

This is Marcie speaking.

Good grief, I dialed the wrong number.

Is that you, Charles?

It sounds like your voice.

If it is, how have you been?

If it isn't, what do I care how you've been?

I'll bet you dialed my number by mistake, didn't you, Charles?

I'll bet you meant to call Peppermint Patty.

She just happens to be right here beside me.

I'll put her on.

No, no.

Wait, wait.

I...

PATTY: Hi, Chuck.

Finally got up the nerve to call me, eh?

I bet you called to invite me to your Valentine dance.

Well, I accept.

[MEN SHOUTING ON TV]

Where are you going, big brother?

Well, I finally got up the nerve to call that little red-haired girI...

...but I called Marcie by mistake and got a date with Peppermint Patty.

I think you're too wishy-washy, big brother.

It's not a lost art.

I'm feeding you early because I'm going to a dance tonight.

I'm hoping I get to dance with the little red-haired girI.

I didn't know you were coming along.

Who invited you?

How will I get you in?

[SNOOPY LAUGHS]

Hold it right there, dude.

This is a dance.

The dog can't come in.

There was a misunderstanding.

This little kid here thought it was gonna be a costume ball...

...so he wore a dog suit.

Okay.

Go on in.

Have a great time.

Hi, Charlie Brown.

Welcome to the dance.

Everyone is here.

I hope we're not too late.

See, there she is, Charlie Brown.

There's the little red-haired girI just waiting for you to ask her to dance.

I wish I were sophisticated like guys you read about in stories.

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

Wow!

It's now or never, Charlie Brown.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I'm walking toward the little red-haired girI.

I'm going to ask her to dance.

I'm getting closer.

I'm almost there.

I'm...

Come on, Charles.

PATTY: Hey, Chuck, we've been looking for you.

CHARLIE: Good grief.

[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

Charlie Brown, quick.

It's the last dance.

You've got to...

Oh, no.

She's taken.

Good grief.

[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

[ALL COUGHING]

The Valentine dance wasn't very romantic, Chuck.

And I saved you the waltz, Charles.

How about the limo, Chuck?

We never saw a limo either.

And how come you fell down during the dance?

Don't invite us to any more dances, Chuck.

Many a heart is broken after the ball.

I know that you didn't send me a valentine this year.

I have the feeling that it was not an oversight.

I have the feeling that it was deliberate.

However, if I am wrong, and it was merely an oversight...

...or if the valentine that spoke so eloquently...

...of your love for me was lost in the maiI...

...then I want to express my appreciation for the thought.

It was not an oversight.

It did not get lost in the maiI.

I see.

Well, you know the old saying.

What old saying?

Rats.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I've come to see my sweet babboo.

LINUS: I am not your sweet babboo.

I just wanna thank him for the valentine.

I never sent her a valentine.

Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?

I dreamed about that little red-haired girI again last night.

If I could have had just one dance with her.

Now I'll be thinking about her all day and be depressed.

I think I know how you feeI, Charlie Brown.

You'd like to cry, but you're too macho.

I am?

[WHEELS SQUEAKING]

[SNOOPY LAUGHS]

Happy Valentine's Day, Charlie Brown.