01x11 - I-Guana you Back

All episode transcripts for this TV show, "Every Witch Way". Aired January 2014 - July 2015.*
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A teenage girl moves with her father to the suburbs of Miami, Florida, where she learns that she is a witch who is said to have great powers and abilities, as are many of her classmates, good and bad. Based on the Latin American series Grachi.
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01x11 - I-Guana you Back

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ girl ♪
♪ oh, oh ♪
♪ when we go dancing, dancing ♪

You did turn Daniel into a lizard.

I must be more powerful than I thought.

You're a super witch.

What do we do now?

We take him with us.

Shh.

(Scoffs) Stop fidgeting, Daniel.

Your fingernails are sharp.

He needs a mani pedi, stat.

I know a great salon that takes iguanas.

You're going to be in so much trouble, Maddie.

For what?

For turning your boyfriend into a reptile.

Your mom specifically told you not to do that.

That never happened.

Yes, it did, just yesterday.

She said... "Maddie, you can't go around turning people into other things, like your friends into celebrities, your enemies into insects, or your boyfriend into a reptile."

Personally, I think you could be pretty lax with the turning your best friends into celebrities rule.

Well, she's just jealous because she can't do them herself.

Aren't we all?

What?

So what are we going to do with dannyguana?

Well, the most logical thing is for dannyguana to spend the night here in the closet, where my mom won't find him.

Okay, are you gonna make him a little nest or something?

Yeah, something that resembles his natural habitat.

I got this.

We need newspaper, branches, and a bassinet.

(Sighs)

I need to get him some ties and maybe a nice jacket.

(Gasps) Do they make tuxes for iguanas?

Maddie, you know you can't keep him like this forever.

Why not?

He'll make the perfect boyfriend.

Scaly and dry?

Silent and obedient.

(Upbeat pop music)

♪ I cast a spell ♪
♪ it takes a hold of you ♪
♪ I see my dreams ♪
♪ and they're all coming true ♪
♪ come on, let's go ♪
♪ you and me together ♪
♪ look up ahead ♪
♪ there's a magical adventure ♪
♪ Every Witch Way, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
♪ I'm trying Every Witch Way, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
♪ I'm going Every Witch Way, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
Every Witch Way

Don't make any noise. We don't want to be caught.

Oh, hey.

Emma, we were definitely not looking for Tommy's new iguana that we definitely do not know about.

Don't worry. Your not secret's safe with me.

I was just looking for Daniel. Have you seen him?

He got a call earlier from Diego and put on his serious face.

What's his serious face?

You know.

(Laughs) Wow, very accurate, guys.

I haven't seen him since. What about iguana?

Have you seen him around here?

No, if I had, I'd be passed out on the floor.

Iguanas creep me out.

They're like slithery mini dinosaurs.

I know, so cute.

Was that door open? You mean before?

I think so. It was...

He must've escaped.

I told you we should've snuck in here earlier and put a g.P.S. On him.

You let him out.

No, I...

Tommy.

Come on into the kitchen.

It's time to cut the cake.

Oh, what's going on?

Iguana's missing.

Call the police, CIA, FBI, mtv.

They need to issue an iguana alert, a.S.A.P.

(Coughing)

My body must be giving up.

It stopped fighting the infection.

But I need to get to school.

No, Maddie, Winky, you have to stay here and get better.

But valuable education hours wasting away.

I'm sure you'll make it all up when you get better.

(Sighs) Okay.

Okay.

(Fakes snoring)

Good morning, Daniel.

Did you sleep well?

Up and at them. Time to get dressed.

Stop looking at your phone.

It's not gonna make him text you any sooner.

I'm just worried.

He hasn't responded to any of my texts.

Walk over. He lives across the street.

I can't just show up at his door, especially not after the great iguana escape.

I'm sure he doesn't blame you or is ignoring you because of that.

You think?

Absolutely.

And if he is ignoring you, it must be for something else.

What? Like what?

Like not giving me Pegasus wings when I asked you for them last night.

Really?

He's mad at me for not giving you wings?

Yes.

Us sharks are tight like that.

It's got to be about the iguana.

I only left the door open for a minute.

Oh, that's the thing about iguanas.

They're cold-blooded, double-chinned, speed demons.

Hey, Maddie.

Where are you?

What are you doing here?

Shouldn't you be at school?

Shouldn't you be at school?

Don't answer my question with a question.

Oh, my. Is this a deja vu?

What is that?

I brought dannyguana Maria conchita's dog bed.

She's too big for it now.

We came to help with, you know...

(Croaking)

Don't do that, ever.

I'm sick.

Didn't you read the update I sent in to "miss information?"

No. Why are you all dressed up?

And why is Danny iguana wearing a bow tie?

Uh, he must've left it and found it in my closet and put it on.

Maddie, this is not okay.

You know you have to turn him back into a human.

I will.

When?

When I've convinced him that we belong together, (both laugh)

Sophie, how dare you?

Look! Another lizard.

(Scoffs) Nice try.

I'm not falling for that one.

No, there really is another lizard behind you.

(Gasps)

How did that get in here?

There's lizards all over Miami.

It must've sniffed out dannyguana and snuck in.

Aww, dannyguana has a little friend.

That's so cute.

Well, he can't come with Daniel and I.

Today is our special day.

No third wheels allowed.

(Upbeat rock music)



(no audible dialogue)

Oh, Daniel, this date was so magical.

And I already know what you're thinking, so you don't have to say anything.

And the answer is yes.

I'll be your girlfriend again.

Oh, please tell me it's Daniel, it's just an alert from miss information.

Oh, what's it say?

It says Maddie...

Got back together with Daniel!

I what?

You got back together with Maddie?

No, I didn't. Miss information is misinformed.

Miss information is never misinformed.

Did you just hear what you said?

Yeah.

I didn't see you in study hall this morning.

I got excused. I was looking for iguana.

Tommy is devastated. He's on a hunger strike.

And my mom had to go get him from school and bring him home.

I'm so sorry.

If there's anything I can do...

I feel guilty.

Don't.

If it got out of the garage, it's probably still in the house.

But I mean, you can help.

I'm organizing a search party.

Count me in.

Oh, okay, fine.

Count me in, too.

I had such an amazing time, Daniel.

I don't think we've ever connected like this.

You really get me, Daniel.

Now, if you'd stop pooping and eating flies all of the time, you'd be perfect.

Oh, Daniel.

Daniel?

Mom?

Uh, what... What are you doing here?

(Gasps)

Is... is that Daniel Miller?

What?

No.

It's just an iguana that jumped through my window this morning.

And I decided to name him Daniel.

You turned your ex-boyfriend into an iguana.

No. (Scoffs)

Yes. Wait, let me explain.

He's not my ex-boyfriend anymore.

♪ We're back together ♪
♪ Mm-hmm, mm-hmm why would you want to date an iguana?

Turn him back, please.

No!

We're finally happy together. And...

Daniel? (Gasps)

Daniel?

Daniel, where are you?

Daniel? See what you did?

You offended him, and now he's hiding.

Daniel!

Uh, Maddie.

You don't have to worry about it.

He's not hiding.

Oh.

Yeah.

He's in your closet, pooping in your shoes right now.

(Gasps)

It better not be my lavender sneakers!

Okay, I've divided the neighborhood into quadrants.

Now we'll all split up into teams, according to expertise.

Mac, you have no sense of direction, so you'll be with Tony.

Hey, I have an amazing sense of direction.

You get lost on the way to my house every time you come over.

And it's only one street over.

But that's because all the houses look the same.

It feels like I'm always walking in circles.

Okay. Diego and I will be a team.

And Emma and Daniel will be another.

Maybe Emma should be with me, because her instincts complement my logical thinking perfectly.

Yeah, that's why you're with Mac.

He's very instinctive too.

(Sighs)

Can we quit arguing over team assignments?

We have an iguana to look for, people.

Now, everyone, grab a walkie-talkie, and let's go.

(Muttering)

Maddie, Winky, okay, try this one.

We've tried a bunch. And nothing's worked.

Maybe he doesn't want to change back.

Maddie?

Mm-hmm.

You can't keep him.

(Gasps)

Fine. One last one.

Yeah.

From cold-blooded to warm, you'll no doubt enjoy turning into the teenaged boy.

(Gasps) Maddie!

Oh, be careful.

You could've hit either one of us.

I can't.

I've been trying for ages to turn Daniel back into the perfect boyfriend.

And now he is.

Daniel!

(Screaming)

Maddie, you get back here.

Girl has lost her mind.

(Magical music)


I didn't mean to scare you.

I understand.

You're upset and confused.

That's how I felt when I first found out I was a...

(Chuckles)

A witch.

Now, witches aren't like you see in the movies.

We're more like those superheroes you like, except much prettier.

Daniel, are you still saying you love me regardless?

Oh, Daniel.

Iguanas have been known to roam for Miles without any food or water.

They're known as the camels of the rainforest.

Really?

No.

I just made that up to impress you.

How did I do?

Not bad.

Hey, where did you disappear to last night?

I went to the garage to find you.

And then, well, the iguana-gate happened.

I was at the seven, helping Diego with a little emergency.

What kind of emergency?

Well...

How did this happen?

He made some canned eyes explode.

What are canned eyes?

No idea.

Probably one of those fantasy card games those two play, like space cowboys chase through history or something lame like that.

I love space cowboys chase through history.

You do? So do I.

I've been trying to get Ashton and Billy ray gamble to join the revolutionary w*r for weeks now.

So you just said it was lame to impress me?

Well, Maddie used to say it was lame all the time, so I just figured all girls think it was lame.

I think it's cool.

The most popular athlete in school, he's a secret geek.

I'm not.

Come on, Danny!

Own the geek.

Okay.

But you have to own your thing too.

What's my thing?

The glitter. Duh.

Oh, I own the glitter.

You know we could have used our cell phones for this, right?

Yeah, but this is way cooler.

(Scoffs)

I would have to disagree.

The range of this radio is only 500 feet.

In metric, that's 150 meters, whereas the range of our cell phones...

Whereas the range of my arm is the same distance between me and your face.

(Yells)

Can we get back to the matter at hand, the missing iguana?

We've searched the entire neighborhood and nothing.

Where else could it be?

Maybe it was stolen.

Why would anyone steal an iguana?

It was so romantic.

We went shopping, to the beach.

We shared an ice cream at the seven.

Daniel had a side of flies.

That is so romantic.

A pet and a boyfriend, all in one, you are so lucky.

Maddie, well, let's just say you're heading down that slippery slope your mother loves to slide down.

What does that mean?

It's crazy.

Even if he's Daniel, he's still a reptile.

(Gasps)

Don't talk smack about my boyfriend.

It's not smack. It's fact.

(Scoffs) (Phone beeps)

What is it?

Just a "miss information" update, some photo of Daniel and Emma walking down by the beach.

Now where were we?

Emma and Daniel on a hunt for Daniel's brother's missing iguana, which means they are from today.

I don't get it.

Wait for it.

Three, two, one.

(Screaming)

And when he held my hand, I got butterflies.

The kind he's allergic to?

No.

The good, inside-the-tummy kind.

Now I think I have the bad, "want to barf up what's in my tummy" kind.

(Laughs)

Too far?

Personally, I thought it was right on the line, but okay.

I just wish we could find iguana.

How about a spell, like an iguana-locating spell?

I would, but I'm afraid it'll end up in the pool.

I'm three for three in relocating people there.

Let's just go over what happened last night, step-by-step.

And let's start with the last time you saw Daniel.

Okay.

You and I were standing by the chips, talking.

Right, then I bit into a chip and said, "these chips taste like sawdust."

Then Daniel walked up to us.

(Sighs)

Okay, that's so not how it happened.

Hey, so glad you could come.

Us too.

And may I commend your interior decorator on the most elegant job on the architectural details of your abode.

Andi.

What? Fine.

Well, what's the deal with this dip?

It's not even seven-layer.

I don't know. You should ask my mom.

Hey, we're twins. See?

Great.

Tony too. This is so weird.

We're all wearing the same shirt.

This is awesome.

Aren't you going to make any of your usual remarks?

(Stammering) I am.

But there's just so many one-liners going through my head right now.

I don't know where to start.

We should change.

It's fine.

Everyone else here are little kids.

They wouldn't dare make fun of us.

(All laughing)

I'll get you a shirt.

That's too small. You'll never fit into that.

Is it?

(Laughs)

It's wet is what it is.

Yeah, but it fits, and that's all that matters.

Here, you need some help?

No. No, no, no, no.

That was the best part of the night.

Then, Daniel's mother walked up to us and asked if I could go get him.

Emma, would you go get Daniel and ask him to fix the speakers?

Sure.

Thank you.

(Upbeat dance music)

♪ Yo, hey Danny, your mom wants... She wants you to help her with something.

I'm ready.

Whoa. Are you...

I'm... I'm fine.

So it was you, both of you.

You left the door open. Mystery solved.

I win.

I mean, mystery solved.

Nobody wins.

Now, let's go to sleep.

We have a new search party tomorrow, and Tony pestering me about not needing my radios.

Don't worry, Maddie.

There are plenty of other iguanas in the ocean.

I don't need another iguana.

I need Daniel.

And this is going to help me get him back.

Now, let's send this iguana to a special new home.

Guys, thanks for spending your Saturday helping me.

Oh, it's Saturday?

I only came 'cause you told me we were skipping school.

What? How's Tommy?

Holding up.

Hey! Andi, you didn't get my text?

We don't need the radios.

Uh, no, I didn't.

See, cell phones are so unreliable, which is exactly why we need my radios.

No, see, I had everyone download a g.P.S. Locator app on their phone.

See? This is me. This is Daniel.

Oh, yeah. And where am I?

Is that me? No, that's me.

See, this is why you shouldn't be in charge of communication tools, because obviously, you aren't qualified.

What are you guys doing?

(Yells)

Hey, thanks for helping me search.

I'll make more posters tonight.

You might want to go easier on the glitter.

Hey, the more noticeable the better, right?

You're right. I take it back.

Glitter your heart out.

Hey, you want to walk together to school Monday?

(Gasps) Iguana?

Where did you come from?

Hey, Emma, I forgot my jacket.

Iguana?

Now, remember, we are never to speak of this ever again.

Right?

Both: Right.

(Laughs)

I still can't believe you kissed an iguana.

Was it romantic?

Hey, what did I just say?

Is something wrong, Sophie?

What's the big deal?

She stares blankly at the wall all the time.

Is that...

Am I seeing things?

Both: Probably.

(Gasps)

Katie, Maddie, that's a...

A boy! Both: What?

There's a boy by your shelf.

Look.

(All screaming)


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