01x09 - The Great Unknown

[bunniefuu]

[ Carrie ] Before there was sex, before there was the city, there was just me... Carrie. Carrie Bradshaw. And lots of things were changing...

George, I'm not sure I can...

Well, sure you can.

I'm breaking up with you.

For all of us.

You're dumping me?

Yeah. I hope you don't mind, but I will be telling people that I broke up with you.

What are you doing here?

I'm here patrolling the dance, Maggie.

God, I wish I wasn't the one to have to tell you this.

Donna's trying to hurt us.

"We" don't exist anymore.

So now what?

Now you're my boyfriend.

You do like her, right?

I know you like her. Say it.

Yeah, I do.

Hey. Hi.

Hey. Hi.

You can stop me from being at "Interview"

and seeing Larissa and being in Manhattan, but the one thing you can't stop me from is wanting it and wanting a life that's mine.

[ Stevie Nick's "edge of seventeen" playing ]

♪ just like the white winged dove ♪
♪ Sings a song, sounds like she's singin' ♪
♪ Whoo-whoo-whoo ♪ just like the white winged dove ♪
♪ Sings a song, sounds like she's singin' ♪
♪ Whoo, baby, whoo ♪ said, whoo [ alarm clock beeping ]

[ Carrie ] In my dreams, I was still at "Interview" magazine.

[ Beeping stops ]

But the reality...

"Interview" magazine, Manhattan... all gone.

It had been a rough few weeks.

♪ Just like the white winged dove ♪

but what had made the loss of Manhattan

just a bit more bearable was my relationship

with Sebastian Kydd.

February blows.

It's still so cold, and there's no end in sight, and there are no fun holidays to look forward to.

The next time I'll get chocolate is easter, and that's months off.

You already finished that box of chocolates I got you for Valentine's day?

That was a week ago.

It was huge.

Well, I can pack away a lot of chocolate, especially anything with marshmallows inside.

What up, Kyddshaw?

West.

Hey.

Wait. What was that?

West. He's in our American history class.

I know who he is. What he called us... Kyddshaw.

That's our names, like, put together.

Like a nickname?

Yeah, I guess.

Wait. We have a nickname?

An actual nickname as a couple?

It appears so, Bradshaw. Or would that be "Kyddshaw"?

Well, I think when you're talking to me, it can still be "Bradshaw""

but when you're talking to us, "Kyddshaw."

Ah, good to know.

[ Mouths word ]

You cold?

Yeah. A little.

Thanks.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, Kyddshaw.

You knew we had a nickname?

Sure.

[ Sebastian ] You still trying to figure that out?

Once. I did it once.

Well, that's awesome. I mean, Rubik's cubes are impossible.

No one can do them. Well, I did, and I'm going to do it again.

Watch and learn.

I mean, you people won't be able to actually learn how to do this, so... Just enjoy.

Excuse me.

Sorry to interrupt. Gotta get to my locker.

I know you're deep into that square thing, but I gotta get to class.

Sorry. I'm just kind of obsessed.

What is that, anyway?

A Rubik's cube.

How could you never have seen a Rubik's cube?

I'm busy.

Playing with balls?

That came out wrong.

Yes, lettering in three sports does kind of take up all my free time.

Can I try it?

Sure.

It's 6-sided as all cubes are, and you have to get each side all the same color.

Getting one or two sides is very viable, but it could take a while since there are six sides, - and the ratio of...

Done.

[ Boy ] Ooh!

[ Boy chuckles ]

[ Girl ]H!

That was fun.

Who are you?

West. I'm in your chemistry class.

I know that. I meant how did you do this?

Beginner's luck, I guess.

I guess.

While west was bringing out mouse's competitive side...

[ Donna moaning ]

Yeah! Ohh!

Walt was bringing out something very surprising in Donna.

Does that hurt?

Oh, yes. But I like pain. It feels so good.

I aim to please.

You really do, Walt.

[ Sighs ] This might be the best relationship ever.

Really?

It's not for you?

No. [ Chuckles ] It's great.

But... I've only dated Maggie, so I don't have a lot to compare it to.

I've dated...

Well, everybody.

And usually I have to get all dressed up and wear a pound of makeup and act all flirty and pouty,

but... with you, I can just be me.

I think you're prettier without so much makeup.

Really?

Really.

Admit it. You wanna see a little bit more boob.

[ Chuckles ] Who doesn't?

[ Laughs ]

Come on. Let's finish watching "The Terminator""

it was a shock to them both,

but they were a surprisingly nice match.

Meanwhile, my father was finishing his own match...

A racquetball match.

[ Exhales ] Let me help you.

[ Laughs ] Thank you.

Thanks. I'm, uh, I'm not really all that flexible.

You would be if you took my class.

Oh.

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah. I... yeah, I don't really take... classes.

[ Cay racquetball with my buddy.

Yeah. We, uh, we have a tournament this week.

So I'm just squeezing in a last practice...

You, uh, you teach that aerobics dancing thing?

Uh-huh.

Don't ya?

Yes. [ Laughs ] I love music.

Yeah.

And dancing.

I think you would, too.

I would... [ Laughs ]

I'm not sure I'm coordinated enough.

[ Chuckles ] Or flexible enough.

Oh, I think you'd do all right.

At least let me give you my schedule so you know when you can find my class... or me.

[ Giggles ]

I have it in my office.

Sure.

[ New age music playing ] Oh, wow. Uh... I didn't expect that...

So is this your...

Your... where's... Where's that schedule?

Ah. Well, you know, you don't need to do this.

You...

Just enjoy it.

I will.

I don't wanna leave here... ever.

We don't have to.

I have a house tab here now.

Of course you do.

Want you to have all the French fries you want.

I think that's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me.

Well, we should go.

What happened to the endless supply of fries?

I'm afraid to piss off your dad.

Don't want being in his good graces to be a fleeting thing.

You might be perfect.

I'm trying to be. Here.

No. You should take it.

No, I'll be fine without it.

I like the idea of you in it.

No, I-I-I don't want you to get cold.

Besides, I have mine.

Yeah.

I'll be fine.

[ Sobbing ]

Did he break up with you?

Cheat on you?

Talk to Donna?

No.

Then what's happening?

He tried to give me his coat.

And then we have a nickname.

Okay, I'm still confused.

He bought me chocolates with marshmallows in them, which I love, and he has a house account at the diner for me for French fries.

Okay, you're going to have to help me understand, how is this bad?

Don't you see?

I-I like him.

I really like him. I'm... falling for him.

Isn't that a good thing?

I thought it would be. Now I'm just scared.

Because you have something to lose.

I think I know why they call it "falling in love"...

'Cause it feels like you're falling off a cliff, and falling off a cliff is not a good thing.

You've seen Wile Coyote, right?

He always survives.

Because he's a cartoon. If he was a real person, he'd break every bone in his body.

Or you could be happy.

Yeah. Or Sebastian could break my heart or cheat on me or lose interest or move or get kicked out of school or...

Wow. You think a lot.

Coming from the girl who never stops thinking.

Yeah.

About my grades and how I have to destroy that idiot jock west.

Mouse, he solved a Rubik's cube once.

That's no big deal.

It is a big deal.

Being able to solve a Rubik's cube directly correlates to spatial intelligence, which means that idiot jock might actually be smart.

So who cares?

I do.

If west is competition, then I need to know that.

See? You need to know stuff, because knowing stuff makes it all less scary.

You know that Sebastian likes you.

For now.

Mouse, when I my mom d*ed, I didn't think I'd ever recover.

But I am slowly recovering.

But this...

It makes me feel so fragile.

I mean, what if I can't handle this?

What... what if my heart's not strong enough for this?

For what?

For love.

So what are you going to do?

Break up with him?

Carrie, you can't sabotage this because you're scared.

Fear is a very good reason, I think.

I just... what happens if all this stuff, everything I think and say and worry about comes out in front of him, and he just thinks, "I don't need this"?

I don't think Sebastian is much for complicated.

He likes you, Carrie.

But maybe not all of me.

So try to keep it light and fun.

Have you met me?

Yeah. As soon as I said it, I thought, "yikes."

[ Slaps arm ] Aw.

[ Laughs ] Good luck.

[ Sniffles ]

Oh.

Hey, look, it's the other half of Kyddshaw.

Hey. Yeah, that's me, one half of the whole, not that I think of us as a whole, but yeah. Hi.

Everything all right?

Yeah. Of course, of course. Never better.

It's weird seeing you here every day.

Yeah, even weirder for me.

I can't believe I will never see Manhattan again.

I could sneak you in.

Nah. Feel like I should take the punishment as the criminal I am.

We are very different. Yes, we are.

So you wanna hang out local tomorrow?

Um, actually, I-I have to take my sister to the library tomorrow, so I'm not quite sure of my schedule. Uh, can we play it by ear?

Sure. Yeah.

What?

Nothing. I just know you like to plan ahead and know what's in front of you.

No. Not... not me.

Not this girl. No.

Loosey-goosey. Light. Easy. Keep it simple. That's me.

Okay. Great. Well, let's play it by ear then.

Good. Just like I like it.

But it... it would probably be better if we meet up later in the day.

No. You know what?

Forget I said that. Um...

Let's just chat whenever and see what happens.

All right, of course. Well, ball's in your court, Bradshaw.

Good. Good.

So I'll see you when I see you.

Which is now. We have American history together.

Remember?

Yeah.

While Sebastian was willing to let things lie...

Mouse was not.

[ Backpack thuds ] Hi, Mrs. Daschle.

Oh, hello, dear. You're here to finish up your filing?

Yes. Thank you for letting me do this as extra credit.

I find alphabetizing very relaxing.

You are one of a kind.

Yes, I am.

[ Gasps ]

Everything all right?

Yeah.

I'm number two.

Number two behind that idiot jock west.

Apparently not such an idiot.

Wow. Good grades and sports. Zoinks.

So what if he's in three sports?

He's not that tall. How good could he be?

He's the best point guard Castlebury's ever had.

How do you know that?

School newspaper. Don't you read it?

Did you know he takes his math courses I did not. The question is, how do you?

I looked at his file.

Coming from experience, you probably shouldn't do that.

Of course I can.

Mrs. Daschle gave me the job of file assistant.

Does she know you include snooping in your job description?

I'm not snooping. I'm learning.

Apparently while I was dating Seth and destroying my G.P.A., I missed a lot, like west's good grades.

And that.

Ugh. It's almost too much to bear.

What Maggie did to Walt was hideous, but that... That over there is an abomination.

How could Walt rub that in Maggie's face?

He's not exactly rubbing it in her face since she's been faking sick for half this week to avoid him.

I don't know why she's so upset. She made her own bed.

Well, just because you caused the problem doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

She made a mistake, and now she's paying for it, right? [ Giggles ] Big-time.

I don't think Walt was very happy, either.

I'm just sorry it ended this way.

Walt with that?

It's so awkward.

But he's still our friend.

My eyes! My eyes!

[ Laughs ]

Seriously, what in God's name do they have to talk about?

Well, it doesn't look like they're doing much talking.

Apparently not.

Your cashmere sweater is so soft. I can't get enough.

I know. I heard a Magnin is having their winter sale now.

I bet they have tons of cashmere for sale.

Then we have to go to the mall tomorrow and shop.

It's a date.

Ah! This'll be fun.

I love spending my Saturdays at the mall.

Meanwhile, my Saturday was looking a lot less fun.

So the tournament should last till around 5:30, 6:00 at the latest.

You sure you're okay if I take the car?

Mm, it would be better if I drove you, I think, to the city, and then Dorrit could do research for her paper in a real library.

The Castlebury library will be just fine for both of you, and there is no way you are driving me into the city.

I've been really clear on that... I know.

That place is off-limits to me. You made your bed.

And now I get to lie in it.

I just didn't know it was gonna be such a boring bed.

I can take comfort in the fact that you're safe and I know where you are, and just think about how much more time you have for homework and your sister.

You guys can head over to the library together.

Goodie.

Fun.

I'm a 15-year-old who has to have her sister walk her to the library.

I win for suckiest life.

Um, I have to spend my Saturday at the library responsible for you when I don't need to be at the library.

Oh, right. Your life sucks the most.

Carrie, you're lucky I haven't leashed you to the house, and, Dorrit, you're lucky I ever let you out.

What have I ever done?

I'm afraid to even imagine.

So what did you decide to do your school project on?

Have you picked a date in history that means something to you?

I bet she chose her own birthday as the most important day in the history of the world.

Did not. Some of us aren't totally into ourselves.

So what did you choose?

Um... none of your beeswax.

Jeez, Dorrit, just trying to make conversation.

Let's not and say we did.

Okay, then. [ Sighs ] Let's head out.

Have fun at the gym, dad. I will.

I mean, not fun fun.

You know, just good, old-fashioned sports kind of fun.

[ Chuckles ]

Not any other kind of fun.

Why are you so weird?

It's all right, dad. We'll be fine.

Go ahead.

I think you xeroxed the entire newspaper.

We could have just stayed at the library and looked at the microfiche there.

But then I would have had to spend the whole day with you.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hey.

Hey.

Oh, look, floppy blond wonder's here.

Come on in. I didn't know you were coming over.

Yeah, I just figured I'd play it by ear and come on by.

It's okay I'm here, right?

Yeah, of course. Your dad won't mind?

Totally. Not at all.

Like your jacket, Dorrit.

Don't suck up to me.

And don't suck face in front of me.

We wouldn't, ever.

But if you wanna do your work in your room, I wouldn't say no to that.

[ Sighs ]

Going. Oh, and if you need me, well, don't.

So... what should we do?

You wanna watch a movie or something?

[ The partisans' "no time" playing ]

♪ no time

♪

♪ no time

♪

ugh. Okay, that music is very distracting.

There's nothing like rage to keep it romantic.

I'll go yell at her. I'll be right back.

Dorrit!

Dorrit, seriously...

♪

[ sighs ] Crap.

Thanks, and if she shows up, please, please call me.

Nothing?

[ Sighs ] No.

I've called everyone, everywhere she hangs out, all her friends, everyone she knows, or at least everyone I know she knows.

I'm coming to terms with the idea that I know absolutely nothing about my sister.

Okay, maybe if we go back over the day, we can figure out why she ran. She's Dorrit.

She always runs. That I do know.

Maybe in this pigsty, there's some clues about where she could have gone.

Hey, your sister's kind of obsessed with the sex pistols.

Her jacket, her music, this newspaper.

Yeah, she's really into loud, angry music where you can't understand the lyrics.

All this stuff is about Sid Vicious and Nancy.

Why? Does that matter?

What was her report about?

Um... An important day to her, a-a day in history that has meaning.

I figured she chose the day my mom d*ed.

Wow. Morbid.

Yeah, well, it's Dorrit.

She didn't die on October 12th, did she?

No. Why? Is that the date she chose?

I think so.

Every newspaper she has is about that day...

October 12, 1978.

Do you know what it means to her?

No idea.

Look, I think she chose the day Sid Vicious k*lled his girlfriend Nancy at the Chelsea hotel.

Well, it's morbid, so very possible.

Do you think that's where she could have gone?

Where? Do they have a concert there?

No, they're both dead.

He k*lled her and then overdosed a few months later.

Oh, morbid on top of morbid.

Look, I think she went to the Chelsea hotel.

She got a book on the hotel and all these articles.

She wanted to go to to the scene of the crime.

A lot of the people who are into the sex pistols go there - to be a part of it.

Okay.

Let's go.

I can't just run off to Manhattan.

My dad would k*ll me.

What? We have to?

Well, what if she's out somewhere riding her bike or something?

I don't even know your sister, and I can guarantee that's not what she's doing.

Point taken, but what if you're wrong?

Then Dorrit's wandering around at the mall, and she's fine, but if I'm right, then she's in Manhattan alone.

You ready?

While I tried to figure out my next move...

[ Thwack ]

Someone else was trying to figure out his own.

[ Thwack ]

[ Exhales ] So what should I do?

[ Thwack ]

[ British accent ] Please, Misti, can I have some more?

[ Both laugh ]

Seriously, just ask her for another one. Yeah, but that's the thing.

I didn't even ask her for the first one.

Ohh, Tommy, you don't know how lucky you are.

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, or in this case, a foxy aerobics trainer.

Just enjoy. So what should I do?

Should I... Ask her out on a date?

Send her flowers?

Return the favor?

Are you crazy? Send her flowers?

Misti has learned the most important of lessons.

"It is better to give than receive."

I mean, for us men.

I don't know. I mean, it wasn't sex sex, but it was, you know...

She serviced you, my friend. Just say it.

Yes, and, you know, that's a big deal, especially for a woman.

Tommy, you have been out of this game too long.

Things have changed. Women have changed.

Oh. [ Scoffs ] They couldn't have changed that much.

Oh, they have. I mean, if you don't believe me, just ask a woman.

What kind of woman talks about sex?

[ Knock on window ]

Ask Larissa.

[ Blows kiss ]

Is that the woman who abducted my daughter?

Yeah.

What is she doing here?

We've been... we've been doing it for weeks.

She's an animal.

Thanks for setting us up, by the way.

I didn't set you up.

Of course you did.

That night at the limelight?

Go on. Talk to her. She knows a lot about giving...

And then giving some more.

I'm going to take a shower. Okay.

[ Laughs ]

Darling, well done.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

What are you doing here?

What do you mean?

I'm here every Saturday.

No, you're not.

I'm here with the "for the blind bake sale"

every weekend, and you're never here.

Yeah, I am. I run the meals over to the senior citizen home on Saturdays, always.

So you're also a do-gooder.

Why are you suddenly so interested in me?

Up until that Rubik's cube, you didn't even know I existed.

Well, now I do. Now that I know you're competition.

Did you know you're number one in the class?

I did.

Well, don't get too comfortable, because that number one spot is mine.

Except you lost it to me. Not for long.

Admit it. I'm better at the Rubik's cube than you, and I get better grades, and that must be k*lling you.

You are not better than me.

You just wait. By June, I will own you.

Have you actually figured out that Rubik's cube again?

Please. What you did... Beginner's luck.

If you're so sure you can b*at me, why don't we put it to the test?

A cube-off?

You're on.

Meet me at the diner at 4:00.

If you don't show, I'll know you're chicken.

Oh, I'm not chicken.

And I hope you like losing.

Losing?

It's not in my vocabulary.

Well, then you'd better look it up.

As mouse prepared for the fight...

I can't believe this was 60% off.

You like it, right?

Donna prepared for the score.

It feels like buttah.

[ Chuckles ]

Why don't we take the sweater off and see how we both look naked?

[ Chuckles nervously ]

P.S. I look amazing.

Hey, hey, hey.

I don't wanna rush this, okay?

I don't want it to be just about sex. Is that weird?

Maybe a little.

It's just... After Maggie...

I wanna feel like I really know you before we take the next step.

Wow. That is weird.

Every guy always just wants to get into my pants.

Can't say I blame them.

Well, maybe this is better. When it finally happens, we'll both know we really knew each other.

I guess.

Now let's see you in that ton sur ton jumpsuit you bought.

Okay. [ Giggles ]

What are you doing?

Looking for the train schedule, which is gone, because obviously Dorrit took it.

We're not gonna take the train. Driving's gonna be a lot faster.

We're not going anywhere. I'm going on my own.

What? Why?

We can be in the city in an hour if I drive you.

No, you've already caused enough problems.

Me?

If you hadn't have been here...

If I hadn't let you in, I wouldn't have been distracted and lost Dorrit.

You're blaming me.

You can't just show up here unannounced.

You told me to play it by ear, Carrie.

I was doing what you asked. I didn't ask you to come here.

You're always getting me in trouble, and now Dorrit's in trouble because of us, because of you.

She would've run either way.

You don't understand.

Every time we're together, something happens, and someone gets hurt.

Okay, so we're not talking about Dorrit anymore.

I shouldn't have let you in. That was my first mistake.

I just... I have to go.

I didn't know what was out there,

but I knew it was safer for my heart to go it alone.

The Chelsea hotel...

So much happened in the haunted halls.

Marilyn Monroe made love here.

The velvet underground made magical music,

Bob Dylan made a baby in this place,

and I could only hope my sister had made it here safely.

[ Connexion's "badly bruised, slightly stoned" playing ]

♪ heartbeat, heartbeat ♪ feel my heart b*at faster, faster, hurt me forever ♪

Dorrit?

Dorrit?

Dorrit!

♪ b*at me black and blue Dorrit?

♪ Oh, how I love you, too ♪ b*at me, b*at me black and blue ♪

Oh.

While I tried not to show my surprise...

[ Survivor's "eye of the tiger"

playing ]

Mouse was trying to guarantee

that there would be no surprises.

♪

And Donna was planning a surprise seduction.

♪

[ girls laugh ] [ Grunts ]

♪ rising up ♪ back on the street ♪ did my time, took my chances ♪
♪ Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet ♪
♪ Just a man and his will to survive ♪
♪ It's the eye of the tiger ♪ it's the thrill of the fight ♪ rising up to the challenge of our rivals ♪
♪ And the last known survivor ♪ st*lks his prey in the night ♪ and he's watching us all with the eye ♪

Aah!

♪ Of the tiger - oh!

[ Thud ]

Are you okay?

What the hell is going on here?

You were blocking the movie?

Most men would pick me over a movie... any movie.

Correction... every man would pick me over a movie.

Are you even interested in girls?

Dorrit, thank God you're safe.

What were you thinking?

Anything could have happened to you.

Whatever, Carrie. I'm fine.

I'm with Sebastian.

Yes. I can see that.

Hope you don't mind. I decided not to do it your way.

Told you driving would be faster.

Can you give us a minute?

Yeah, of course. I'll be in the car.

Are you gonna stand there and yell at me or what?

Your call.

Come on, darling. What's the big deal?

It was a sex act, not a crime.

[ Laughs ] I am... I'm not talking about this with you.

It's one thing for guys to talk about it in the locker room, but not in mixed company.

[ Gasps ] r*cist.

I meant with a woman.

It's not like women get together and talk about these things.

Right? I mean, this is a guy thing.

No. Women these days... We talk about these things.

We have sex the way we want, live the way we want...

[ Gasps ] Even take the jobs we want.

We're a new breed, and we'll take over the world.

One day people will write about us.

[ Chuckles ] I think you're a little full of yourself.

Damn straight. I wouldn't want it any other way.

And neither should you.

A man like you should want a confident woman.

It would do you some good.

I had a confident woman.

Your wife?

Carrie adored her. She talks about her all the time.

I am not talking about my life with someone who took advantage of my daughter.

I didn't know Carrie was 16.

I just thought she had a good dermatologist.

But, you know, it didn't matter.

Best intern I ever had. She cared. So passionate.

About going to parties?

Yeah. We have a good time, but we're also making something, saying something.

"Interview" magazine comments on the world, on fashion...

She had a good internship at a law firm.

She wants to be a lawyer, which I'm sure you didn't know.

You didn't bother to find out.

That's rich. Carrie Bradshaw, a lawyer?

Damn straight.

You have no idea who your daughter is or what she wants.

I know that she was a good kid before she came to Manhattan, one who had real goals, not pipe dreams.

Just because they aren't your dreams for her doesn't mean they aren't real and unattainable.

I know my daughter better than some party girl who values clothing and clubs.

My job isn't to let her go wild. It's to keep her safe.

No, your job is to let her become the person that she wants to be.

Welcome to the new world, tom Bradshaw.

There's a whole world of women... Complicated women with our desires and passions and goals, and your daughter is one of them.

Carrie isn't a woman. She's a girl.

A girl's who's gonna grow up soon, and you can't stop that.

I'm not trying to. I just...

I want her to grow up right.

It's not a matter of right and wrong.

It's a matter of who and what she wants to be.

She's a hell of a writer. Did you know that?

No.

She writes about the world in a very special way, like she's seeing it and learning from it.

She's got a voice.

Let her use it.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make a living doing something like that?

It's almost impossible.

I-I don't want her to be disappointed.

She can do it as a... A hobby.

But what if writing is her calling?

If you don't let Carrie explore the world and figure out what she wants to be, she'll never become the person she's supposed to be...

Someone who's happy and loves who she is.

Don't you want that for her?

Of course I do, but... No, no, there's no "buts""

this is your moment.

What kind of father are you gonna be?

So I get why you wanted to come here, but I still don't get why you're so into their love story.

It's not very romantic. They both d*ed.

So did Romeo and Juliet.

And that's like the most romantic love story ever.

Yeah, I guess.

It's two people who were artists and passionate who couldn't live without each other.

Plus Sid is kinda cute.

Dorrit, he stabbed her with a Kn*fe.

Because he loved her so much.

They lived like every day was their last.

Yeah, and then one day, it was.

You're always so afraid.

There's a lot to be afraid of, Dorrit.

When mom got sick, I swore to myself I would live big, even if it was scary or scared other people.

Well, that explains a lot.

I don't care what happens 'cause it could all just be taken away anyway, even if you're a good girl or do the right thing.

I feel the opposite, like I have to be so careful and worry about everything and everybody because everything could just go wrong at any point.

It could. Who cares?

Can't just stop living.

You know stuff.

Got a lot going on in this brain of mine.

Yeah, me, too.

That's one thing we both got from mom...

All this thinking.

It's exhausting.

[ Sighs ] Totally.

You ready to head home?

Let me just take a few more pictures.

I think I saw some bloodstains up one flight.

Yeah, I'll be outside for that, and, Dorrit...

Don't worry. I won't run away again.

I promise.

'Kay.

Oh, and dreamboat?

Sebastian?

Way cooler than I expected for a pretty boy.

Welcome! Welcome to the cube-off of the 1985... season.

You're giving this a name?

This day will go down in the history books.

We're solving Rubik's cubes.

Sure, try to make it seem like nothing, since you know you're going to lose.

Oh, get ready to be schooled.

You know the rules. No use of distraction.

No taking a break for drinks. No looking...

Are we gonna do this or not?

Let's do it.

[ "Eye of the tiger" resumes playing ]

Go.

♪ It's the eye of the tiger ♪ it's the thrill of the fight ♪ and he's watching us all with the eye ♪
♪ Of the tiger - I know I like girls. I just...

Don't wanna bang us?

[ Exhales ] What gave me away?

Oh, honey. I'm everyone's type, so if you weren't interested in screwing me, something had to be up.

Sorry.

Don't be.

I really like hanging with you, if you still want to.

Sure. But just as friends.

You've been awesome.

No guy has ever listened to me, cared about what I thought.

But I like sex, and a lot of it.

And... I'm not gonna be able to give you that.

I know myself, what I need.

You're lucky. I have no idea what I want.

I won't say anything, Walt. I promise. But are you gay?

No. No, I've never been with a guy or anything.

But do you think you could be?

I know I'm the last person you think you could trust, but my older brother's gay.

No one knows except for me. My dad would lose it.

He lives in Los Angeles now. He's happy.

I don't know what I am.

It was a hard thing for Walt to admit,

but nice to share it with someone.

The surprising thing was the person was Donna.

Whoo-hoo! You lose.

[ Whispers ] Suck it.

♪ Oh-oh, ah-ah-ah ♪ ah-ah, ah-ah-ah you don't win a lot, do you?

I win all the time at everything.

Are you always this gracious?

It was over a half an hour ago. Nobody cares except for you.

That might be true, but I am just celebrating because this is my ride back to the top.

Valedictorian, here I come.

You're an intense chick.

Threatened?

Impressed.

But as much as I enjoy your good sportsmanship, I have to go.

Can't handle seeing the face of victory in your face?

No. I have to go pick up my little brother.

See, my mom works nights to give my brother and I everything, and since my dad left us, I've had to take on a lot of responsibility.

You're from a single mother household?

Yep.

And you're black and an athlete.

That's right. I'm like a college admissions unicorn...

The trifecta.

What are you?

A non-athlete Asian math genius with two parents?

Dime a dozen.

Looks like I win after all.

Wave good-bye to Princeton and Harvard, because those are mine.

[ Door opens, bell jingles ]

Thank you.

For what? For not totally bailing on you when you yelled at me?

Yeah, for that and taking care of Dorrit...

Taking care of me.

I'm here for you, Carrie.

I know. Just all I can think in my head is, for how long?

What do you mean?

I wanted to be cool, you know, easy breezy.

Keep it simple.

But that's not who you are.

No. I'm complicated.

Maybe even a little weird.

And totally terrified.

I know I don't say it as much as you do, but I'm kinda terrified, too.

Really?

Really.

Oh. I don't know why that makes me feel better, but it does.

Me, too.

I know this could all go wrong.

Clearly, there are no guarantees.

But I don't care.

Um... ew. Gross.

Can you take me home now, please?

Yes.

Yeah, let's get you guys home so your dad doesn't bust our asses.

Did you get any good pictures?

[ Speaks indistinctly ] Hey.

Hey.

Hi.

How was the tournament?

Uh, we had to forfeit.

Harlan had a date he didn't wanna miss. Mm, sorry, dad.

Yeah, that's okay.

[ Bottle cap clatters ]

Wasn't the day that I was expecting, but... worked out all right.

How'd everything go at the library?

Good.

Yeah. Uneventful.

As in boring?

No, as in fun.

They say that with knowledge comes power,

so it's safe to assume the inverse is also true...

"With no knowledge comes vulnerability."

What we don't know about the people we love

or what we don't know about love, period,

can be scary.

But maybe that fear is okay.

What is out there that is unknown can propel us

to do more.

[ Knock on door ]

Can we talk?

Yeah. Sure.

Okay, you're scaring me a little.

Of course, these days everything seems to be scaring me a little.

[ Chuckles ] Me, too.

But I don't wanna live like that anymore.

And I don't want you to live like that either.

Okay.

I've had a change of heart.

About what?

About Manhattan and...

"Interview" magazine.

What are you saying?

I'm saying...

That I want you to pursue your dreams...

[ The pretenders'

"brass in pocket" playing ]

And figure out who you are and who you wanna be.

But there will be rules, and I will be watching you like a hawk.

Okay.

♪ Got brass ♪ in pocket ♪ got bottle and don't forget to book the men on stilts for the fashion sh**t, and the fire breather.

It can't look like a carnival without fire breathers.

Yeah, of course.

I still can't believe you convinced my dad to let me work here.

Darling, I am a very persuasive woman.

No one says "no" to me.

Now let's move on to the April issue.

I never knew exactly what had transpired

between my dad and Larissa.

Neither one of them told me, but it didn't matter.

♪ seems so pleasing earth to Carrie.

What? Sorry.

Did you not hear me?

Those cafe au laits aren't going to make themselves.

Hop to it.

Right on it.

All that mattered was that I was back.

Meanwhile, my dad was embracing life's complications.

♪ Gonna use my, my, my imagination ♪
♪ Oh, 'cause I ♪
♪ Gonna make you see ♪ There's nobody else here ♪ No one like me ♪ I'm special ♪ Special - Golf?

Yeah.

I thought you hated golf. I do, but if I'm going to compete with west, I'm going to need to get good at a sport, and fast.

Hey, did you hear?

Walt and Donna broke up.

Yeah. Has he told you why?

No. But the Jens are running around town telling everyone his...

[ Whispers ] You-know-what...

[ Normal voice ] Is so big, Donna couldn't handle it.

♪ Make you, make you notice ♪

Let me guess. You guys are talking about my big penis.

[ Laughs ]

[ Giggles ] Busted.

But, I mean, are you okay?

Not with the size of your, you know, but... with the breakup?

I am. Donna and I are not a match.

I'll say.

Although she's a lot cooler than I expected.

I hope you don't hate me for that.

No.

Of course not.

But that doesn't mean we have to hang out with her, do we?

Ever?

♪ So special ♪ special hey.

♪ Some of your attention heard the rumor?

♪ Give it to me, 'cause I ♪
♪ Gonna make you see [ Chuckles ]

The stuff we don't know about each other.

[ Laughs ] It's endless.

[ School bell rings ]

You cold?

Yeah, maybe a little.

♪ So special ♪ special ♪ I gotta have some of your attention ♪
♪ Give it to me thanks.

You guys ready to head to class?

Sure.

Yep.

All right.

I didn't know what would happen or where we would all end up,

but for now, we were happy... Really happy.

It was that simple.