02x10 - Date Expectations

[bunniefuu]

Before there was sex, before there was the city, there was just me, Carrie Carrie Bradshaw from Castlebury, Connecticut.

(Voice breaks) My parents kicked me out.

I was hoping he could stay with us.

Of course he can stay.

Seeing my parents' faces made me feel bad about what I'm doing.

You being gay that is their issue, not yours.

These are your college applications.

Time to start planning your future.

Never, ever become friends with one of my boyfriends again.

Okay.

Cool party.

I'm Scott.

You don't have to talk to me if it bugs you.

No! I-I like it.

My dad he's gonna give me an allowance to find a place in Manhattan.

What do you think about the flat? I think I can make this work.

Ooh, you are gonna adore it here! (Carrie) - You gonna be good here? - Yeah.

Originally Aired January 10, 2014 Valentine's Day in New York is just as intense as everything else in the city.

(Belinda Carlisle) I'm mad about you you're mad about me, babe guys knock themselves out looking for the perfect gift.

Aren't we? Reservations at romantic restaurants fill up weeks in advance.

Mad about you (camera shutter clicks) mad about you lost in your eyes reason aside mad about love mad about you you wouldn't expect jaded new yorkers to get caught up in such a mushy holiday.

Mad about you mad about you lost in your eyes reason aside but that's the thing about expectations.

What you expect and what you can get can be shockingly different.

Am I in the right place? I just fixed up the place a little bit.

Put my own stamp on it.

Mm-hmm.

You don't like it? N-no, it's it's great.

I just, um I wasn't expecting such a big Hey, what What happened to Larissa's zebra-print chaise lounge? Well, Carrie, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm a guy.

Oh, I definitely noticed.

Whoa! (Chuckles) (Chuckles) What's with the All the the skateboards and the clothes? - Pretty sick, right? - "Sick"? Sorry, skater lingo.

It means "cool.

" (Siren wailing in distance) Since when do you speak skater lingo? Well, I used to skate with my cousins out in Jersey.

Oh.

Then when I was in Cali, I started hanging out with this guy, Tony, and he's kind of a skating prodigy.

I didn't know there was such thing as a skating prodigy.

Well, this guy is.

Tony Hawk.

Remember the name.

I'm telling you, he's gonna be huge.

What are you, his mom? Very funny.

We became pretty good friends, and I'm hoping to use some of his contacts for a business I might be starting.

Wait.

What? Well, he knows everyone in the skateboarding world, and I think there's a market out there that hasn't been tapped into.

Like shoes, clothes, all based on skate culture.

And look at these cool designs.

I-I commissioned a street artist to create the decks.

"Decks"? Yeah, the part of the skateboard that's not the wheels.

Oh.

So these could be on shirts, shorts.

Got it.

(Chuckles) Yeah.

I'm really excited about this, Carrie.

Well, then that sounds, uh sick.

(Chuckles) All right, I'll shut up about skateboards.

Let's talk about Valentine's Day instead.

Oh, yeah? Does that mean I made the reservation at One If By Land, Two If By Sea.

(Gasps) Ooh, yay! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I know Valentine's Day is cheesy, but I'm so excited to spend it with you in the city, especially after everything we've been through together.

I just I want it to be perfect.

It will be.

Okay.

(Skateboard clatters) My expectations for Valentine's Day were sky-high.

But Maggie's weren't nearly so lofty For the holiday, or for her future.

You got into Central Connecticut State University.

That's great! Yeah, with no financial aid.

You can still apply for a loan.

Oh, so I can be broke for the rest of my life and still have no clue what I'm doing and have a degree from a lame school.

C.

C.

S.

U.

's a perfectly respectable school.

Please.

You're the one who calls it C.

C.

S.

-Loser.

In my defense, that was before I knew you were going there.

And they have some notable alumni.

Did you know that one of the first governors of Alaska graduated from there? Ugh.

I would never wanna be the governor of Alaska.

Hawaii.

Now we're talking.

Not Alaska.

I'm very sensitive to the cold.

Oh, speaking of cold, here comes Donna.

Let's freeze her out.

Hey, Mouse! Happy m*llitary recruitment week.

I don't know about you, but I am feeling very Patriotic.

Make sure you check out the army eye candy.

This year's are particularly fine.

(Donna) Mm.

What was that all about? Oh, it's army recruitment time, you know? The recruiters come to school for two weeks to sign people up to join after graduation.

That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it.

What is going on with you and Donna? You two were downright chummy.

(Scoffs) - I wouldn't say chummy.

Chummy.

(Sighs) Okay, look, Donna and I kind of had fun together at Carrie's party last month.

Ugh.

I could've stopped that.

I never should've gone away with my parents that weekend.

And then, it turns out, we have health class together this semester.

And I sit right next to her and she's actually kinda funny.

And I want you to know, I have strongly suggested to Donna that she no longer call you names.

Okay, good, because it is terrible that she calls people names.

Mm-hmm.

I would never stoop to that.

Okay, Donna may be a skanky whorebeast, but she is right about one thing those army guys are total babes.

The army will take care of it for you, not college.

(Larissa) No.

Nope.

Horrid.

Oh.

Looks like she's squatting to give birth in a field in this one.

(Chuckles) Ah, here we are.

She only looks slightly constipated here.

Remind me never to book her again.

If you need a model, I'm available.

Darling, this is a high-fashion magazine.

I once walked the runway at the Tallahassee Mall Back-To-School Fashion Show.

Yeah, I rest my case.

(Telephone ringing in distance) Oh, Walt! I didn't know you were coming tonight.

Yeah, it's last minute.

Bennet and I are gonna see "Hannah and Her Sisters.

" (Bennet) Which I'm very excited about! - I'll be down in a minute.

(Chuckles) - Okay.

"Hannah and Her Sisters"? Shouldn't you be seeing Hank and His Brothers? Or is girl-on-girl p*rn a new trend for gay guys? (Scoffs) I can't keep up.

Um, it's a Woody Allen movie.

Woody Allen? What a great p*rn name.

It's not (Chuckles) He's a director.

So he directs p*rn? Even better.

He wrote and directed "Annie Hall.

" And starred in it.

With Diane Keaton? - I don't know.

Oh, that movie is such a love letter to the city.

Speaking of love, do you have any suggestions for restaurants on Valentine's Day? I wanna plan a romantic dinner for Bennet and me.

Stop right there.

You don't need to make any plans for that night.

You all have to come see me at my new place of business.

You want us to help you sell knives door-to-door? Oh, honey, I already quit that job.

I'm working the Heartbreaker Party at Boy.

(Bennet) Boy?! Ooh, I love that place.

You've got a job at the most fabulous gay club in the city? How did you wrangle that? Oh, no, wait, wait.

Let me guess.

They mistook you for a drag queen! (Chuckles) Their Heartbreaker Party is legendary.

(Kisses) I'm in, of course.

Harlan will be in Budapest on business next week, and this is the perfect way for me to flirt with gorgeous men without making him jealous.

What do you say? I've always wanted to go to that party.

Oh.

Um (Chuckles) Isn't that the club where the guys wear all the leather and stuff? (Larissa) Absolutely.

Leather daddies.

Lots of muscle boys.

And the city's most outrageous drag queens, including a Joan Collins who out-Joan Collinses Joan Collins.

Hmm.

Sounds, uh, scary.

It's not.

It's fun and outrageous.

Walt and I are in.

Well, Valentine's Day at Boy it is.

Well, you guys have fun.

As I have mentioned, Sebastian and I have a romantic dinner planned.

Ugh.

The only thing worse than a happy couple, is a happy couple on Valentine's Day.

(Stifles laugh) It's disgusting.

I would love to go to boy and show off my skills, but Sebastian would k*ll me if I canceled.

(Record needle scratches) What do you mean you're canceling? Sorry, Carrie.

But Tony's only in town for that one night.

I'm gonna pitch him some of my ideas, and if he likes 'em, he might put me in contact with some people in California.

Wait a sec.

You're canceling our Valentine's dinner for that skateboarding thing? You're joking, right? More flowers from Harlan? Really, this is just overkill.

I mean, has he no respect for the fact that I actually have a job to do on this desk? Get someone to clear all this and tell Janet to make me a cappuccino while you're at it.

Hopefully, this won't be him trying his hand at poetry again.

Oh! Oh, no, Carrie.

Hang on.

This one's for you.

Looks like someone's feeling guilty.

"Sorry about tonight.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Love, Sebastian.

" Well, he should feel guilty.

Not only did he cancel our Valentine's Day plans, but he's using our One If By Land, Two If By Sea reservation for his meeting with that Tony Eagle guy.

Thank you.

Can you believe it? Mm, I can.

If only because you've told me so many times, the sheer repetition has convinced me.

Honestly, all this fuss over a dreadful holiday where you're meant to stuff yourself with chocolates and a huge dinner, and then shag once you're good and bloated? I mean, it makes no sense to me at all.

Well, that's easy for you to say.

Harlan is out of the country for a good reason A real job that he actually has.

Please.

I'm fairly sure he faked his business meeting in Budapest to get out of the Valentine's pressure.

Really? - Put it this way when I asked what the meeting was, he said something about Hungary's top goulash company buying another goulash company.

I mean, he's probably golfing somewhere tropical.

But I don't mind.

You really don't, do you? (Scoffs) Why can't I be like that? Because no one can be me.

Seriously, I thought you'd be happy that Sebastian has his own thing going on.

He is handsome, he is rich, and he's ambitious? He's a one-man dream team.

Yeah But skateboarding? I mean, that's not a real business.

There's no way that's going anywhere.

It's it's a fad.

But I can't say that to him.

So I just have to sit there with a fake smile on my face, while he drones on and on about something called a "McTwist" and blows me off on Valentine's Day.

Trust me, Valentine's Day's bollocks.

You're gonna have a much better time at Boy tonight.

I guess.

There is simply nothing better than getting attention from beautiful men who don't wanna sleep with you.

It's much more meaningful.

And while I adjusted my expectations for the night, Maggie shifted her expectations for her future.

Uh, hi there.

What's your name? Uh, Maggie.

Maggie Landers.

Happy Valentine's Day.

"Private Landers.

" It's got a nice ring to it.

(Chuckles) You ever consider joining the armed forces? What? Oh! No.

No, no.

Trust me, you don't want me defending the country.

And have you heard of the G.

I.

Bill? You can go to college all on the army's dime.

Well, I-I was thinking about college, but I don't even know what I'd study.

Oh, I was just like you.

That's what's so great about the army.

Lots of people find their focus while they're here.

We can help you figure out your future.

Huh.

That sounds good.

Yeah.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Let me ask you something.

Do you like to travel? Sure.

Everybody likes to travel.

Did you know we have bases all around the world? You can get stationed in Europe.

Or even Hawaii.

Hawaii? (Chuckles) Heart-shaped pizza.

(Chuckles) That is officially overkill.

Yeah.

So, uh, what's on the agenda for you and your friend? Oh.

Mnh-mnh.

Did you guys break up? - No.

No, we're just spending tonight with about a thousand other guys at this really loud club, where everyone's really loud.

And it's not really how I imagined spending my Valentine's Day.

Yeah, I can relate.

You can? Well, not to all the specifics, but, uh, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I always thought that I'd spend Valentine's Day with Grace for the rest of my life, and here I am.

I just have to make the best of it with this hideously shaped pizza.

Pretty sure your night sounds better than mine.

Ah, think again.

I have to spend it with Dorrit and this guy Scott.

They're watching violent and depressing movies, because they both hate Valentine's Day.

And you're chaperoning? - Yeah.

I mean Dorrit claims that they're just friends, but I'm not buying it.

Yeah, a guy wants to hang out with a girl on Valentine's Day, he likes her.

That's what I'm thinking.

(Chuckles) I'm also thinking that she's lying to me, because of what happened with her last boyfriend.

I mean, you have one or two jam sessions with a kid, and all of a sudden, you've overstepped your bounds as a father.

I kinda think you might have.

Maybe.

But on the bright side, I now have a surefire way of driving out undesirable suitors.

If I like 'em, they're gone.

Wow.

That is power.

(Chuckles) (Chuckles) I'll take what I can get.

(Jamison Rotz's "City Girls" playing) (Telephone rings) (Ring) Hey.

Oh! Hey, Tony.

Hold on a second.

Hey, Carrie? Can you turn that down? Straightforward like you're staring for (Object clatters, volume decreases) Yeah, sorry about that.

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, well, if it comes down to it, I'd definitely consider relocating back to laguna.

Yeah, we can talk more about it tonight.

All right, see you a bit.

Oh, hey.

Didn't see you there.

Everything good? I was gonna ask you which ones you like best.

Oh, both are great.

Wear both.

Both pairs of shoes? Yeah.

Is there something maybe we should talk about? Sure, but, uh, maybe later? I just got a lot of stuff to go over before my meeting.

Never mind.

I would never have expected Sebastian to let his career take him away from me.

It made me feel like I'd Oh! Had the wind knocked out of me.

Ooh! Aah.

Wow, oh, are you okay? - Oh! Of course I'm not okay.

I think my Oh, my what do you call it? My coccyx is broken.

Oh.

Carrie, nothing's broken.

You just bruised your very cute butt.

I'll get you some ice before I head out.

You did not just check your watch.

Carrie, don't turn this into a thing.

You know I got a big meeting.

How could I forget? It's all you've talked about for a week.

Well, excuse me for injuring myself on one of your stupid skateboards and making you late for your cockamamy meeting.

"Cockamamy meeting"? (Huffs) You think what I'm working on is stupid? No, it's just A company that makes clothes for skateboarding? How is that gonna be something real? You did not just say that.

You joined the army?! What were you thinking? They'll pay for college.

Then I will get to live for free in the barracks.

Then I'll get stationed somewhere cool Or cold or rainy or dusty or all three.

It'll provide me with structure.

Yeah, you're gonna have to wake up at 5:00 in the morning - every day.

Every day? And they're gonna cut your hair.

Short.

Boy short.

Don't you remember crying every day for, like, a week after you got the Dorothy Hamill in fifth grade? Yeah, well, I'm I'm much more mature now.

Can you even do a push up? Sure.

Not a girl one.

Then no.

Mags, the army is great for many people.

You are not one of them! This is not some "Private Benjamin" fantasy, and you are not Goldie Hawn! Oh, my God, Mouse.

I joined the army.

You have to help me out of this.

I'm gonna come up with a plan.

(Maggie) This is your plan? (Mouse) She has a car and an innate ability to gain access to, well, - anywhere.

It's true.

This rack is an all-access pass.

So your plan is to have fun-bags McGee talk us onto the base? And then we'll find this Private Watson and convince him to rip up your paperwork.

(Mouth full) This is a lousy idea.

You got a better one? Of course you don't.

So shut your mouth, and let my tatas do the talking.

I have rules for the car No eating and I rule the radio.

(Sebastian) So you think what I'm doing with my life - right now is pointless? - I just, I mean How much do you even know about this Tony guy? Isn't he, like, 18? Does he really have connections that are all that important? He's the real deal.

And you'd knt if you bothered to look into it.

Which would be easy for you to do, since you work at a magazine.

But I guess since skateboarding doesn't interest you, it's not worth doing.

It's like you don't even want me to have my own life.

Of course I do, just not at the expense of our relationship.

Oh, come for God sake, Carrie.

Valentine's Day is not that important.

It's not just about Valentine's Day.

Then what is it? You said you'd move.

I heard it.

(Knock on door) Look It's Walt.

Look, Carrie Come in! Hey, guys.

Hey.

Look, I can't be late to this.

But But nothing.

Okay? What we were talking about it wasn't important anyway.

Did I interrupt? - Yes.

It's okay.

No.

Of course it's okay because you have to leave.

Carrie! - Just go.

Fine.

(Door closes) - What just happened? - Nothing.

Nothing at all.

I my boyfriend is just super-duper busy and has a big life, and so do I.

So let's get the hell out of here and go do some partying.

Okay.

Um, in just a minute.

I-I don't wanna run into him on the stairs.

Right.

Right.

(Sighs) (Frankie Goes To Hollywood) Relax, don't do it when you wanna go, do it relax, don't do it when you wanna come relax, don't do it when you wanna suck it, to it relax, don't do it when you wanna come I love this.

Ah, what do I care if my boyfriend's moving to California? Yeah.

Mmm.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Oh, come on.

We're in the same boat.

Neither one of us is getting what we wanted tonight, so we might as well make the best of it.

Oh.

Yay! You're here! Relax, don't do it Hello! Mwah! Mwah! Mmm.

So what do you think? It's colorful.

How 'bout we go get a drink? - Yes.

Isn't this beyond? I haven't flirted this much without repercussions since I had that private audience at the Vatican.

Wait, is that (Horse whinnies) Can't be.

But sh**t it in the right direction (Hooves clomping) Is she lady godiva? (Laughs) The "lady" part does not fit.

Such a shameless, desperate plea for attention.

I can't believe they're eating it up.

Gay men are usually much more discerning when it comes to women.

Carrie! Hi, Carrie! Come on.

Let's show them some real fabulosity.

(Slaps) Oh! My coccyx.

It's bruised.

I never imagined you and the Viking were into S & M.

But good for you.

Now let's get out there and grind.

Relax, don't do it when you wanna go, do it relax, don't do it when you wanna come Thank you.

Relax, don't do it when you wanna suck it, to it relax, don't do it Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you do more than sip.

What is with you tonight? Um I'm here? Yeah, with me.

Okay.

The thing is, I know this is gonna sound a little odd, but I think this place is too gay for me.

Oh.

Too gay for you? - Yes.

I hate to break it to you, Walt, but you've had sex with a man.

That makes you just as gay as everyone else here.

Mm.

(Chuckles) There is a guy here wearing nothing but an enormous peacock feather.

And I think he might be one of the less flamboyant ones.

He's just being himself.

It's a little more of him than I was hoping for.

It's Valentine's Day.

People are just letting loose.

But this isn't how I wanted us to spend our first Valentine's Day.

With a bunch of other guys who I have nothing in common with, except for being gay.

Walt, we live in a world that thinks people like us shouldn't be allowed to love each other.

That fact bonds you to every guy here, no matter what he's wearing.

Doesn't mean we can't go to a romantic restaurant - on Valentine's Day.

Sure, we could.

But why would we want all that conventional stuff? Overpriced chocolates on February 14th? Marriage? Kids? The white picket fence? We're not allowed to have that, so screw it.

Tonight is about celebrating us and what we can have, which is each other.

And some disco music.

I know we can't have all that stuff.

But (Laughs) - Ha! - Does it have to be this? Listen, just give me one song out there on the dance floor.

And if you're not having fun by the end of it, I'll wear the peacock feather to work for a week.

How can I resist? Come on.

Come Ugh.

This is never gonna work.

Maybe it won't be so bad.

I've got good bone structure, right? I could pull off short hair.

No, so just shut up and watch me give this guy the Valentine's Day of his life.

Fabulous.

I'm having the worst one of mine.

(Door closes) (Clears throat) Hello, sir.

Hello, Miss.

How can I help you? I'm here to see my cousin Private Robert Watson.

Certainly.

I.

D.

Please.

(Chuckles) Oh, no.

I don't want you to see it.

It's not my best day.

(Giggles) (Gasps) I-I think it's very becoming.

Aw.

You are so sweet.

(Chuckles) I'm sorry, Miss Ladonna.

I'm afraid your name isn't on the visitation list.

(Under breath) Told you.

Ugh.

My cousin always forgets to give the gate my name.

(Sighs deeply) Can you believe it? You wouldn't forget me, would you? Definitely not.

But, uh, I'm sorry, I can't let you in, as much as I'd like to.

(Voice breaking) Okay, I understand.

I'm afraid I wasn't totally honest with you.

The truth is, I'm not just here to visit.

(Cries) I'm here to deliver some very tragic news to my cousin Something that'll be just devastating to Richard.

(Coughs loudly) Robert.

Robert.

You see, our grandmother's been in the hospital, and just today, the poor woman passed on.

(Sighs) I just wanted to tell him in person.

(Crying) He loved her so much.

Listen, please, please, don't don't don't do that.

I hate to see a pretty girl cry.

(Crying) Listen, you all hurry in and wait in the recruitment office, all right? I-I'll find Private Watson.

It'll be all right.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

(Sniffles) Wow.

(Door opens) That was I know.

(Clears throat) (Laughs) (Door closes) You gotta tell 'em! Soylent Green is people! We've gotta stop 'em somehow! (Laughs) They were eating people this whole time? How have I never watched this movie? I knew you'd like it.

(Turns off TV) Just wait till we get to "Scarface.

" Apparently, it set the world record for number of cuss words.

Nick and I once spent an entire afternoon trying to count them all.

We lost track after, like, 200.

Awesome.

But can we agree to never mention that dirtbag Nick again? Agreed.

You know, we're not really close at all anymore.

You'd better not be.

Just kidding.

I don't care.

(Telephone ringing) So what's next? Uh, take your pick.

"The k*lling Fields.

" (Ringing continues) A little light fare about the Khmer Rouge's - ruthless slaughter of innocents.

(Tom) - Hello? Or "Apocalypse Now" A madman in the jungles of Vietnam.

Hmm.

They both sound good and depressing.

Dorrit? Audrey's on the phone crying.

Loudly.

Chad probably dumped her again.

Valentine's Day is heinous baveinous.

I know.

Way too many expectations about what the night should be.

I'll take it upstairs.

Sorry, this could take a while.

No problem.

(Under breath) Stay cool, man.

Stay cool.

(Sniffs) (Exhales and sniffs) (Under breath) If you pull out dr*gs, bub Hey.

Hey.

Hi.

(Chuckles) I-I just, uh, wanted to see if, uh, you, uh, you wanted some more popcorn? No, thanks, uh, Mr.

Bradshaw.

You play? Yeah, since I was 5.

I play tennis, run cross-country.

Saw me lining up the strings, huh? I get a little obsessive about that.

I know it's weird.

No, I get it.

I mean, uh, for me it's coat hangers.

You know, two finger spaces apart.

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Sometimes it's the, uh, little details.

Exactly.

Dorrit thinks it's lame.

Please don't tell her I'm a**l.

Then she'll never look at me I mean, I don't, uh (Chuckles) We're we're just friends.

What are you doing out of the kitchen? I'm just on popcorn refill duty.

Yep, heading back to my work.

Let's watch "Scarface.

" I wanna check your math.

Okay.

(Men cheering and whistling) Look at those Tampa airport stripper moves of hers.

I think they're mocking her.

Carrie, don't you think so? Uh, they seem pretty into it to me.

This won't do at all.

What do you care? You're engaged.

Yeah, to a heterosexual male.

There's no triumph in getting the attention of a man you're shagging.

It's too easy.

Not for me.

I think Sebastian would pay more attention if I dressed up in a giant skateboard costume.

This is a travesty.

I mean, I'm right here in Thierry Mugler, no less.

And no one no one is paying attention.

It's not really a fair fight.

I mean, Samantha's on a horse.

Yes, she is.

(The Divys' "Get Up! Give Up! Move On!" playing) Get up, give up, and move on Where'd she go? Excuse me, yep.

Excuse me, pardon me.

Thank you.

Coming through, excuse me, yes, thank you.

Darling? Be a sweetie and give me a turn on the horse, won't you? (Whinnies) Are you joking? No way.

Come on.

Is she bothering you? Yeah, stay away from our diva.

She's not a diva.

I am.

Not get off of the horse.

No! (Screams) (Crowd gasps) Oh, man! I'm turning straight just looking at you.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Sorry, Larissa.

Guess we know who the true diva is.

Hey! Get your hands off bluebell, you bitch! Let me up there! (Crowd chanting) Catfight! Catfight! That's enough, ladies! It's time for you to go.

Who are you to tell me I have to go? I'm the bouncer, bitch.

Ooh, ooh, no, wait! I'm wearing Thierry Mugler.

I'm wearing Thierry Mugler! Oh! (Sighs) What's taking so long? I bet they're onto us.

God, Mouse, I'm doomed.

And you promised me officers to flirt with, Mouse.

So where are they? Nice.

Make it about you, Donna.

Hey, you're the dum-dum who got yourself into this mess.

If it were up to me, I'd send you straight to the frontlines.

Enough! Fighting is not going to help us right now.

What are you doing? You're right.

They're onto us.

I'm gonna find your file and rip it up myself.

So these are alphabetical New recruits.

Let's see (Sighs) Just what the hell do you think you're doing? Those files are the official property of the United States Army.

And you're in big trouble.

(Erasure's "Oh L'Amour" playing) Okay, Bennet.

You win.

This place is pretty fun.

And I had a nice conversation with the peacock guy.

His name is Jeremy, and he's an accountant, and he gave me some tax advice.

Not that I file taxes yet.

I'm not gonna say I told you so So I'll say it.

I told you so.

Yeah, okay.

I deserve it.

I was being a total jerk for judging these guys.

That's okay.

You're, like, barely out of the closet.

And it was a deep, deep, like, walk-in closet.

So cut yourself some slack.

Whoa! Oh! Martin.

Hey.

Bennet.

Martin, this is my friend Carrie hi! And Walt, my boyfriend.

Martin's a good friend of my ex, Eric.

How's he doing, by the way? Is he still traveling? So you haven't heard? Heard what? Oh, God.

Um I told you him that he needed to call you.

He's been in total denial.

He has it.

He was just diagnosed.

Eric is dying of AIDS.

Oh, my God.

There's a test now.

You should get it.

Oh, l'amour what's a boy in love supposed to do? I'm gonna be sick.

I'm gonna be sick.

(Breathing heavily) Walt, you need to calm down.

Just take a breath.

Don't.

Not now.

Walt, I know you're scared.

Believe me, I am, too.

But there's no use completely freaking out right now.

We can both go get tested tomorrow.

Don't tell me not to freak out right now.

Walt, he's just trying to help.

Well, I don't want your help.

AIDS Is a death sentence! And I'm not supposed to panic, even though you might have given it to me? Don't worry because it's okay.

There's a test I can take to find out whether or not I'm gonna die? - And I should calm down? - You know what? I'm in the same boat, and I just found out my ex is dying.

So maybe you can be a little more understanding.

I knew this was a bad idea.

I didn't wanna come here tonight! I knew I'd hate it! This place, these people This isn't me! This isn't who I am.

And now we're talking about AIDS?! Walt, calm down.

No, I can't.

I have to get out of here.

I'm sorry.

I have to go.

Walt, stop! So I take it Scott went home? Yeah, we didn't make it through "The k*lling Fields" it was too depressing, even for me.

(Chuckles) Well, listen (Bowl clatters) I want you to know that I am very proud of you.

That's weird.

For what? Well, for having the good judgment to know not to get involved with this Scott fellow romantically.

Really? Why? I kept my eye on him.

And let's just say that I think he could be Dangerous.

(Scoffs) Dangerous? Mm-hmm.

Scott? Yeah, I know he seems like a nice kid, but I can just tell.

I've seen it before.

And those kind of guys are the worst trouble.

All right, in fact, I don't really even want you seeing him at all, even as a friend.

I just think he's A bad influence.

Who do you think you are, telling me who I can and can't date? Date? - Well, I-I thought you guys were friends? - No! I mean, yes, we are, but it's just like On principle.

And if I did decide to date him, you couldn't stop me.

Over my dead body! (Stomping) (Chuckles) Officer Can't you just let us go, and we'll pretend this never happened? If if you'd just You can't arrest us! You know, I'm going to Harvard, and if they find out, they're going to cut me, and my life will be over.

Shh.

Mouse.

I've never been in trouble, ever.

I've never even skipped a class, even on skip day.

They had to hire a sub to sit in study hall with me, and I think she was really annoyed.

Spare me the sob story and the sexpot dramatics.

I'm sure that's how you sweet-talked Sergeant Boyce into letting you on base, but it won't work on me.

I know all the techniques.

I've got two sisters.

Two sisters.

I've got two brothers.

But I learned nothing from that, except that I love football and college basketball.

Really? Yeah.

Big East all the way.

You're crazy.

Big Ten or nothing.

Please, I have two words for you Patrick Ewing.

And I've got two words for you Steve Alford.

But I'm still filing a report.

Listen, this is all my fault.

Yeah, it is.

No, it's not.

She was just trying to help me because I freaked out about my future, or lack thereof, and I joined the army without thinking it through.

She tried to clean up my mess, just like she's done since elementary school, which is pretty cool of her.

She doesn't deserve to get arrested.

And this one's a nightmare, but she probably doesn't deserve to get arrested, either.

Look Technically, you didn't break in anywhere.

This was Boyce's fault for being dumb enough to let you in, so (Exhales deeply) You went to all this trouble to get out of enlisting? You know you just had to write a letter to the office saying you changed your mind, right? Well, if we knew that, we wouldn't be here now, would we? Okay, know when to shut up, Mouse.

Yeah, skank's right.

Let's go.

Thanks.

That was really cool of you.

We all make mistakes.

Yeah, well (Exhales) Okay, thanks again.

Um, I'm gonna Wait a minute.

Oh, do you wanna take our names? Just yours.

And if you don't think I'm being too out of line, your number? So I can ask you out? Oh.

Uh, uh, yes, I mean.

Yes, absolutely.

(Chuckles) Sometimes the unexpected takes the form of a sweet surprise.

But sometimes not.

(Exhales deeply) (Telephone clatters) (Door opens) (Sighs) Oh, it's you.

(Exhales) That happy to see me, huh? I thought you were Walt.

(Keys clatter) Look, I know we had a fight, but I want you to know, I'm not moving, okay? I promise.

(Horns honking in distance) Hey, Carrie.

What's wrong? (Voice breaking) It's not you or us or the fight.

It's Walt.

Bennet's ex-boyfriend has AIDS, and so now Bennet could have it, which means Walt could have it.

And we found out at the club.

And then Walt ran away, and I can't find him anywhere.

(Crying) And I thought he might be here, and I wanted to call the house to see if he was there, but if I do, then my dad will answer, and and I'll have to tell him.

(Sobbing) And I just I just I really need you right now, because I don't know what to do.

And I just I need you.

I'm here.

I'm here for you.

Okay? Okay.

Got that? Hey, look at me.

(Sighs and sniffles) All right, come on.

I'll drive.

(Keys clatter) Let's go find Walt, all right? Okay.

(Door opens) (Door closes) (Sniffling) (Indistinct conversations) I'm glad you came.

I've missed you.

It's only been a week.

I know, but, well (Chuckles) I don't know about you, but it's been the longest week of my life.

So, first things first.

I got my results back yesterday.

They're negative.

I assume you got good news, too.

Yeah, I did.

(Sighs) That's great.

We're so lucky, Walt.

Lucky? Yeah.

I went to visit Eric in the hospital.

It's pretty brutal.

Sorry, Bennet.

Yeah, he's, uh (Voice breaks) He's got pneumonia, and the virus has invaded his brain.

He didn't even know I was there half the time.

And Maybe it's better that he doesn't know what's going on.

They can't help him anymore.

He's just - He's waiting to die - Stop! Okay, please? Just stop.

God, that's awful.

I can't hear this.

I'm sorry.

I know you're scared, but we need to talk about it.

I can't hear it, Bennet.

I'm only 18.

I'm not supposed to have to start thinking about dying when my life has barely started.

You're not dying.

But there's people in our community whose lives have also just started who are.

I'm not part of this community.

Of course you are.

We're all gay men.

And AIDS is a reality in our community.

Would you please stop calling it that? I am not part of any community.

I knew this was gonna be hard, coming out That people would judge me, even hate me But I never thought about everything that I'd have to give up.

Like having kids, getting married.

When I was little, I used to dream of having my wedding at the Waldorf.

Which, I know, I probably should've realized then that I was gay.

But the point is, I want that stuff The white picket fence, the family.

That's stuff I can't have if I'm gay.

So what are you saying? I don't know.

I just know I can't do this.

I see.

(Greg Laswell's "The k*lling Moon" playing) Fate I love you.

Up against your will (voice breaks) But that's not enough.

Through the thick and thin I'm sorry.

It's scary when we realize how quickly our expectations for the future can slip away.

You give yourself to him in starlit nights I saw you Everything okay? Mm-hmm.

So I did some research and found out what a McTwist is.

It's a backside spin with a mute grab.

It's pretty sick, right? V-very impressed.

Well, don't be.

I can say it, but I have no idea what it means.

(Laughs) But I do know I'm excited for you, and for this opportunity.

Thanks.

I want you to know, my life is here.

I can launch the business from New York.

I'm not leaving.

I'm here for you, okay? Okay.

He will wait until So what you doing? - Well, these are my designs.

Mm-hmm.

Which one do you like better? Sometimes what we expect and what actually happens can be completely surprising in a good way.

Hold on.

I'll meet you in Study Hall.

I just wanna make a phone call.

Pete? Again? This is crazy.

(Coins clink) I can't believe you fell for the guy who almost arrested us.

Whoever would've thought? I know.

(Line ringing) Of course, some things in life really are predictable.

(Doorbell rings) I'll get it! Now just where do you think you're going, young lady? On a date.

We will talk about this when you get home, Dorrit! (Door slams) (Mouths word) Whoo! Your will (Carrie) It's reassuring when things turn out just as we think they will.

I knew they'd love us as a pair.

(Giggles) (Gasps and exhales) But more often than not, the universe pulls the rug out from under us.

Up against your will through the thick and thin Will we be brave? Or will we run away, hoping to avoid the next cruel surprise? Him Mom? It's me.

I wanna come home.

So how do we carry on in a world where the unexpected could hit at any time? We look for someone we love to hold on to.

Under blue moon I saw you soon you will take me