03x06 - The Axeman Cometh

[bunniefuu]

Esteemed mortal...

"They have never caught me, "and they never will.

"They have never seen me, "for I am invisible, "even as the ether which surrounds your earth.

(whistling jaunty tune)

(jazz saxophone plays)

"I am not a human being, "but a spirit and fell demon from hottest Hell."

(whistling continues)

"I am what you Orleanians call "the Axeman.

"When I see fit, (typing) "I shall come again "and claim other victims.

"I alone know who they shall be.

"I shall leave no clue "except my bloody axe.

"Undoubtedly, you Orleanians think of me as "a most horrible m*rder*r, which I am."

Charles?

AXEMAN: "But I could be much worse if I wanted to."

WOMAN (gasps):No!

"At will, I could slay thousands "of your best citizens, "for I am in close relationship with the Angel of Death."

Oh!

"Now, to be exact, "at : o'clock earthly time,

AXEMAN AND WOMAN: "on next Tuesday night, "I'm going to pass over New Orleans.

"In my infinite mercy,"I am going to make a little proposition to the people.

"Here it is.

(woman's voice only): "I am very fond of jazz music,"and I swear by all the devils in the nether regions "that every person shall be spared "in whose house a jazz band

is in full swing at the time I have just mentioned."

This is an outrage.

This madman is holding our city hostage to his twisted whim.

Millie, do you think playing the Victrola will suffice?

Come Tuesday evening, a jazz ensemble in New Orleans will be more precious than the Hope Diamond.

We can choose jazz songs from my collection of phonographs.

Why should we do anything to appease this Axeman?

Because he kills women with an axe.

Do I have to remind you? He says, "One thing is certain "and that is some of those persons who do not jazz it on Tuesday night

will get the axe."

His prose could use refinement but we get the point.

If we don't play jazz music Tuesday night...

We're inviting an att*ck-- it could not be more clear, Sister.

The real question is, what are we to do?

Ladies, we have been docile too long.

We are powerful, even though none of you have yet to believe it.

Not only are we descendents of Salem but we are suffragettes.

We're on the verge of our greatest victory, giving us the equal right to vote.

If we embody our feminine might, intelligence with grace, strength with an iron will, no man can make us cower in our home.

I'm off in a half hour, Joe.

Can you... walk me home?

You scared of the Axeman?

Everyone is scared.

It's Tuesday night.

He's gonna k*ll somebody.

Well, he's not gonna lay a finger on you.

Rumor has it he's got a thing for jazz, and you've got, uh, rhythm in your soul, baby.

(jazz music playing from homes)

(jazz music continues)

(operatic music playing in distance)

(operatic music continues)

♪

(door hinges creaking)

(music stops)

I gave fair warning, girl.

I made my intentions clear to the world.

MILLIE: Yes. Just as expected.

Death.

You have no one to blame but yourself.

That reading was for you.

(operatic music resumes)

(grunting)

(grunting, snarling)

(girls shriek, grunting)

(Axeman shouting)

(girls shriek, grunting)

(distant bell tolls)

(bottle clatters)

(click, hinges creaking)

(hinges creaking)

ZOE: A hundred years ago, this academy was packed to capacity. They had bunk beds and slept eight to a room.

Now... notice anything?

Yeah.

Luke's not here.

His mom keeps slamming the door on me.

Nan, stay with me. Look at the pictures.

Our numbers have gone down every year for a century straight.

Witches are dying.

In Salem, there were hundreds of us.

Now there's three. Used to be four, until... Madison went missing or dead.

And no one in charge has done sh*t.

We'll go to Fiona.

Last I checked, she was setting witches on fire.

Okay.

Madison wants us to find her, and we can't afford to lose a single witch if we want to survive.

From now on... we watch each other's backs.

Look, I've been taking care of myself for a really long time, so I'm not sure I need some white girl sorority sisters to cover my ass.

And what is this green sh*t?

It's not a sorority.

It's a coven.

And this is absinthe, drink of the divine.

Which we are.

(glass clinks on tabletop)

Where'd you find the spirit board?

More like it found me.

Do you know what these things do?

Contact the dead.

You don't know sh*t.

Spirit boards have two stages: contact and release.

I saw my grandma use one once.

She thought it was cool, too, till a bad spirit came out, b*rned her house to the ground and took half her face off with it.

There's three of us.

You want to find Madison?

Witch up.

So, what do we do?

Ask the questions.

Be polite.

(exhales)

Are we alone?

Did you die here?

Were you m*rder*d?

Yes.

Who k*lled you?

"You did."

Madison, is this you?

Who are you?

Axeman.

Wait, stop. Stop, stop!

If survival is so important to you, you better find out who you're talking to.

NURSE (over P.A.): Oncology.

Paging palliative services, extension .

Oncology, we're paging palliative services...

MAN: It's all bullshit.

Punch a clock.

Scrimp and save?

And for what?

I'm taking my sick leave in Vegas.

Time to play.

FIONA: Never had the gift of mind-reading before.

Is it the medication?

WOMAN: It took her so long to find the right man.

Lord, please!

Don't let me spoil my baby's special day.

Just let me walk down the aisle.

WOMAN : Nothing was ever good enough.

WOMAN : And I swear, Heavenly Father, that very night...

WOMAN : I picked him apart every chance I got.

WOMAN : ...my soul is yours to keep.

WOMAN : And here he is, week after week, holding my hand, cleaning up my vomit.

(soft groan, grunts loudly)

(whimpers)

MAN: Ms. Goode?

You haven't finished your treatment yet.

I got to get out of here.

I can't stand it. It's so noisy.

That'll go away soon.

I put a sedative in your I.V. to quell your nerves.

But you're doing great, and you're almost finished.

No, don't patronize me.

I never wanted to be here.

Please take a seat and finish your treatment?

(monitor beeping rhythmically)

(panting)

My daughter needs me as she's never needed me before.

(sniffles)

I'm doing this for her.

Not... for me.

You understand? If I do everything you people tell me to...

I'll b*at this thing, right?

We've chosen a very aggressive form of treatment, and we always hope for the best.

Yeah. So, when am I gonna lose my hair? You may not.

Everyone responds differently to the medication.

There.

Ugh.

I'm just not... I'm just not ready to go quite yet.

I want one more great love affair in my life.

Now I think what I really want is just to belong to somebody.

It's not too late for that, is it?

No.

My mom met someone on eHarmony, and they just went on a cruise to Nova Scotia.

Hmm.

You're gonna make it to your daughter's wedding, so you should go out and buy yourself a great dress.

Blow the bank on it.

Is there anyone that doesn't have a fan site?

(character shrieks)

NAN: I don't.

Did you find anything new?

The Axeman k*lled eight people, scared the crap out of the city, never got caught.

Listen to this. "If women will not dance "to the sound of my axe, I shall gladly make them dance with the other."

Do you know a saxophone is called an axe?

So he chopped women up 'cause they wouldn't be his groupies?

Plus men who protected them.

We never got to ask about Madison.

Good. A spirit'll say anything to get released.

They mess with you.

Is that why he said we k*lled him?

No.

He thinks we're them.

Class of .

The same year the Axeman disappeared.

"This Jazz k*ller "has k*lled long enough.

"This city is done trembling. Tonight it ends."

Witches k*lled the Axeman.

If there's even a chance he knows where Madison is, we got to make contact.

No! No.

No way I'm helping you release the Axeman.

Nan?

I'm out.

(scoffs) You left your lives and came all the way across the country just to puss out now?

If this is all the fight we have left in us at the end of our race, witches deserve to die.

(sighs)

Where's Madison?

Tell me and I'll give you what you want.

I know what you like.

I can give it to you.

Release.

Don't you want release?

"A..."

"T..."

"T..."

(hinges creaking)

"I..."

"C."

(hinges creaking)

(gasps)

(coughs, floorboards creaking)

(creaking continues)

(creaking)

(gasping)

(screaming)

(sniffing, door opens)

She made it up the stairs on her own.

Of course she did. She's tough.

She's a survivor.

She's right here.

Why are there roses in here?

Why, I thought you might enjoy them.

They're the very last of your heirlooms.

Roses pull in love and romance.

That's not what I'm looking for right now.

I need chrysanthemums.

All kinds of them, for strength and protection.

Well, doctor said, uh, bed rest for at least a week, hmm?

(gasping)

(Kaylee moaning)

Who is she?

Who is the redhead? Whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Enough bullshit!

Anything else you want to tell me now?

Because I will see it sooner or later.

I had to go blind to see things about you I couldn't see before.

A bad cosmic joke.

It's a different kind of clarity, an absolute clarity I've never had.

The images almost vibrate with light.

FIONA: Thank Christ she's finally got your number.

She's high as a kite.

You know what they gave her before we left the hospital?

I'm high all right, but it's not the dr*gs, and rest assured, you will be accountable for every single betrayal, no matter how deep you think your secrets are buried.

Now get out of here.

(shouting): Get out!

Baby.

Now, you're my... you're my heart.

(door bangs open)

I'd get out while you still can, jug head.

(door slams shut)

I wanted to sever his arms and throw him out the window.

I had to stop myself.

You've been given the Sight.

It comes in bits and pieces.

It's the greatest gift to have.

And the hardest one to live with.

Let me help, honey.

(gasps)

(Myrtle screaming)

Oh. Why didn't you tell me?

What? What? What did you see?

Auntie Myrtle.

(crying softly)

I wanted to tell you, Delia, but you were in so much pain, and

I didn't want to add to it.

b*rned at the stake.

Yes.

For what she did to you, yes.

No.

That cannot be.

I'm sorry you had to find out this way.

Ah.

I think it's best if I... let you be alone for a while.

I'll ask

Delphine to come and check on you.

(door squeaks open)

(door shuts)

(vehicle driving away)

Fiona's leaving in a taxi.

All right, you twisted, tea-serving necrophiliac.

It's time to fess up.

You k*lled Madison.

What's he thinking? He's not afraid of children.

QUEENIE (chuckles): Really?

Yeah. We all know exactly how tough he is.

(gasps, screams)

(grunting)

Here's how this works, assh*le.

We ask the questions, you think the answers, she reads your mind.

(sucks air through teeth)

(sizzling)

(gasping, moaning)

(grunts)

(Queenie chuckles)

Fiona's not here to help you now, riffraff.

Best be straight.

You k*lled Madison, didn't you?

SPALDING: Yes.

Yes.

Why?

I'm a man of uniquely developed appetites.

Sex.

(Queenie and Zoe groan)

Was she your first?

Yes. I had to have her.

Madison Montgomery, she was so beautiful.

The moment we met, I knew that only by sliding myself into her cold, stiff, unyielding mound would I ever feel

like a real man again.

His first. Yes.

Ask yourselves, what will you tough little witches do now?

Turn me in to the authorities, exposing the coven, bringing us all to ruin?

I think you're smarter than that.

What's he saying?

That we can't do sh*t.

I can.

(moaning)

(Queenie laughs)

That's enough.

Fine.

We'll wait till he wakes up to k*ll him.

(gasps)

I want him to feel it.

We're not going to k*ll him.

I'm not sure he really k*lled Madison.

He admitted it. I read his mind.

He grew up in a house full of witches.

And he knows how to keep secrets.

Bet he's learned a trick or two.

I... So if he didn't k*ll her, who did?

(insects trilling, frogs croaking)

(Misty humming)

You like my swamp water, don't you?

Got to have patience.

Won't be long now.

(shouts)

Oh, my Lord. It's you.

What are you doing here?

Where've you been?

You look like you been rode hard and put up wet.

My daddy used to say that.

Oh.

You need a bath.

(Stevie Nicks' "Leather and Lace" playing)

(Kyle moaning)

(water splashing)

Ooh.

(clang)

You smell like a pack of polecats.

(groaning)

(moaning, shouts)

Hey. Hey.

(moaning)

Oh, for Christ's sake, Kyle.

It's just me.

(moaning)

(shouts)

Okay...

(shouting)

Shh, shh, shh.

Okay.

Come on.

All clean.

Come on.

(shouting)

Kyle?

Kyle?

(screams): No!

Kyle, it's okay.

(shouting)

Hey! You stop that!

Stop that!

You don't want to piss me off!

I could be your only friend!

(shouting)

Kyle!

(shouting)

Hey!

(wailing incoherently)

Hey, what's wrong with you?

(shouting)

It's okay...

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no!

No! (music stops)

(shouting)

(sobbing)

Why would you do that?

Why... You...

(sobs)

Wh...

You're just a big ol' monster.

(footsteps approach)

(sobs)

Oh, my God.

(crying)

Get him out of here.

(sighs)

He broke Stevie.

I'm taking you both out of here.

I need your help.

(Kyle crying)

We have a problem.

(door opens)

(grunting)

(moans)

It's okay.

It's okay.

You're okay.

(sighs)

He likes you.

You two belong together.

Not likely.

He m*rder*d his mother.

What can you do?

(sniffs)

I can help you dig a hole.

She's already rotting.

Plus, she's missing an arm.

I have it.

I can sew it back on her like I did with Kyle.

Have you seen his scar?

You're not so hot with a needle and thread. Come on.

We'll find a soft spot in the yard.

No. You have the power of resurgence.

You have to bring her back.

Give me some of that mud.

(exhales)

(inhales)

(blowing softly)

I need your help.

Too much death inside her. Put your hands on her stomach and push.

(coughing)

(gasps)

Keep pushing!

(gagging)

Hmm.

(gasping, gagging)

(panting softly)

(screaming)

(coughing)

(gasping)

I need a cigarette.

You risk an awful lot coming here, you know that.

You didn't give me much of a choice.

An acid att*ck?

Was that supposed to speed things along?

You just made my job more complicated.

You think I did that?

I look like the Taliban to you?

If I wanted to blind your little wifey, I wouldn't have to leave my room.

Well, something's happened.

She's acquired some kind of second sight.

She's starting to see things.

We have to do something.

"We," mon cher?

I believe I already did.

I thought I'd hired me a professional witch hunter.

Coming here in the light of day.

"We got a problem."

I got a problem. You.

Six years in that house and for what?

Access. You know that.

You said you wanted more than just the witches at the academy.

You said you wanted all the Salem descendants.

That's what I've been giving you.

I'm really glad you decided to come and see us, Kaylee.

Well, to be honest, I mostly wanted to see Bourbon Street and eat at Emeril's restaurant.

Mm-hmm.

This other stuff?

I don't know.

Th-This place?

I'm not really sure it's for me.

This isn't a nunnery.

It's not a jail.

It's a haven where you can learn about who and what you are.

What do you think I am?

I don't think you're an arsonist.

Which is what you've been charged with.

Twice.

But not convicted.

Not yet.

Why don't you tell me about the last fire?

KAYLEE:

You said that you loved me.

I changed my mind.

I can't marry you. I'm sorry.

(crying):

But why?

Will you just give me one g*dd*mn reason?

There's something not right about you, okay?

You make my friends squirm.

My mother says if I married you I would regret it as long as I live, okay?

And I think she's right.

I'm sorry, Kaylee.

(screaming)

I don't really like to talk about this.

You have genuine power.

Nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something you need to learn how to control.

Wouldn't you like to be surrounded by people with similar gifts?

Truth be told, Mrs. Foxx, I...

I really don't want to be powerful.

I just want to find a good husband and have three kids.

I think I have a really good sh*t.

I work out, and I play Fantasy Football.

Nine Salem descendants in just three years.

Five of them I never would have found without Delia's research.

Maybe we should take you off the payroll and put her on it.

Sounds like she doing all the work.

This is what we agreed to!

No.

What we agreed to is that you would clean house, not play house.

What's that supposed to mean?

What you think it means?

She made you hard.

You went soft!

You're in love with that sorry witch.

Bullshit.

Bullshit is right.

You're supposed to be ridding me of my enemies. Instead, they're mouthier than ever!

Showing up on my doorstep, disrespecting me, digging up my enemies.

When I plant a fat-assed cr*cker bitch, I expect her to stay planted, not come back up like goddamned ragweed!

And that Fiona-- doing my Bastien like that.

Bastien.

My poor Bastien.

They desecrated you.

And I brought you back life, and she took it away again?!

Well, now we take hers and all.

No more nonsense.

You go back there, and you bring me their heads.

All of them.

What?

Fiona, her daughter and every witch bitch in that house.

You bring me their heads, all of them.

Then you burn that place to the ground.

Uh, Marie...

You do it, and you do it quick.

And I let you live.

QUEENIE: I know you went all Malcolm X and sh*t, but this house is now a carnival of crazy.

How are you gonna explain this to Fiona?

I'm not.

No one says a word to Fiona.

We have to keep Madison under the radar until she's better.

And I'll... I'll figure out what to do with Kyle.

I'm not taking him.

He's a walking tornado.

You made him.

He's your problem now.

Okay. Who's taking me home?

ZOE: It's late. Why don't you stay the night, sleep in a real bed for a change?

No, thanks.

I need to be alone.

I thought you were looking for your tribe.

I was... and I am.

This ain't it.

I got bad vibes.

Real bad.

There's something foul in this house.

(lock clicks)

(pills clinking on floor)

(loud gulping)

I always hated this room.

Was I in a car crash?

(distorted):

Drink this.

Ginger'll help your stomach.

(sighs)

(retching)

Oh.

(coughing)

(distorted):

Do you know who you are?

(distorted):

I'm-I'm Madison Montgomery.

I... I make $ million a picture.

I have two Teen Choice Awards.

You d*ed.

We brought you back.

What's the last thing you remember?

Red.

A-After that, it's all... dark.

Did you see a bright light?

No.

There's nothing on the other side.

It's just black...

forever.

Who are you?

What do you want?

Release.

I can't do that.

(gasping)

Don't think so, dirty p*ssy cat?

(gasps)

g*dd*mn witches.

They ended me once right here in this very room.

And for years after, the parties and the music and the dancing raged wild outside while I sat trapped inside these four ugly walls.

Now, last night, this sweet young witch comes along and offers me my release, and I said, "Oh, yes, ma'am, yes, please.

What do you need?"

She asks her favor, and I provide.

The thing is, when the time comes for her to ante up, bitch lies, leaving me betwixt, between and ready to pop.

Huh?

You d*ed.

Uh-huh.

And now you're trapped.

Right here with you.

(panting)

The only way I can help you is if you let me out of here.

No. Nobody leaves this room.

You see, I had a... a contract.

Promises were made, and all you've got to do is sing and dance...and call the witches who owe me my freedom.

And I'll provide the music.

(Cordelia screaming)

(screaming continues)

(wooden thudding)

NAN: Cordelia?!

It's locked.

(Duke Ellington's "New Orleans Low Down" plays)

It's the Axeman.

You released him?!?

I told him I would. I lied!

This don't end till I get out.

(grunting)

(panting)

Get those witches in here and release me now!

Go to Hell!

Ladies first.

(Cordelia screaming)

(Cordelia panting)

(whimpering)

Now dance.

(screaming)

We need a spell to make him move on.

I told you not to mess with that spirit board.

(screaming continues)

QUEENIE: Yeah, there's a sh*t ton of books in there, and not one of them is written in English.

(screaming continues)

This one's it.

(thudding, screaming)

Give me your hands.

Solvo Liberatum Spirito Malus

Nequam Pessimus Peior...

(music stops, flame whooshes)

(screaming)

(panting)

(gate squeaking)

♪ Get rich or die trying, like Cent ♪
♪ I'm just a young gunner tryna get that bread... ♪

(whistling jaunty tune)

(whistling continues)

(jazz music playing, crowd chatter)

Well, hello, pretty lady.

What you drinking?

(laughs)

The End