04x04 - Intervention

[bunniefuu]

Marshall, Lily, Ted and Robin are in McClaren's.

Robin: Barney's crazy if he thinks it'll work.

Marshall: I think it'll work.

Lily: I hope not.

Ted: There he is.

Barney arrives at the bar, disguised as a senior.

Barney (old): You there, what's your name?

Woman: Excuse me?

Barney (old): Your name, woman, what's your name?

Wife Cindy.

Barney (old): I knew it. You are "the" Cindy, one that can change everything and bring us to our downfall. Listen to me, Cindy. I am Barney Stinson, and I have an urgent mission from the future.

Cindy: From the future?

Barney (old): The future, and I can prove it to you. In exactly four seconds, the woman at this table will slap this man.

Robin slaps Ted.

Ted: What are you doing?

Barney: In a few minutes, the young me your time will enter through this door. I know it sounds crazy, but to save the planet, you have to sleep with him tonight.

Cindy: What? I...

Barney (old) to bed with Barney Stinson tonight, do whatever he wants, or he will find no solution to global warming that would save the human race.

Cindy: You mean what?

Barney (old): I have not the time to explain. I must return to reality accelerator before the vortex closes. Only you can save us, Cindy. I must go!

Barney leaves the bar.

Lily: Well, the movers arrive in 14 hours. We have to go back to finish the boxes.

Robin: You have not finished? Why is it so long?

Ted: The best memories of our 20 years were held in it. It's not that throw stuff in a box. You look back at the past.

Robin: Not me. The key? Discard tips and not looking back. I go to Japan. It took me half an hour.

Lily: A half hour?

Robin: I could take 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears.

Marshall: Moving is very moving.

Ted: But it is. Finally, everything changes. I will live with Stella, you will be in your new apartment. You start a new job in Tokyo. This is the end of an era. We should make a toast, but not with the usual sh*t. Your bottle of Scotch the most expensive.

Wendy: This is a Glen McKenna 50 years, and it is $ 2 500.

Ted: Excellent. A bottle of beer with it, and what do you think will cancel the Scotch?

Barney enters the bar.

Barney: Vive la vodka.

Robin: It will not work.

Cindy: My God, you are... ho, my God! I offer you a drink?

Barney: I guess I have time for a drink and 45 minutes to an hour for other activities, but after that, I must return to the top secret research project I'm working on.

Cindy: Global warming?

Barney: My God! How do you know that?

GENERIC

Marshall, Lily, Robin and Ted are the cartoons.

Ted: Look at this. A photo of the day we moved. So many good memories.

Robin: Well, that's exactly the kind of crap to throw away.

Ted: So you keep a photograph?

Robin: It's like love letters, directories or the ashes of people.They take up space. In addition, she will let you not keep half your mess.

Ted: Why not?

Lily: Oh, dear. That's what the guys know that after moving in with a woman. All your stuff are idiots.

Ted: Like what?

Lily: Like everything else you bought the medieval festivals.

Ted: There is not enough drinks in the world that I drop my scourge.

Marshall: As you will not get bail, I thought you could pay me half.

Ted: Wait, why I pay more?

Marshall: Because you've treated this apart as John Bonham treated his nervous system.

Ted: That's not true.

Marshall: Proof A.

He draws a card and reveals a wall damaged.

Flashback

Marshall entered the apartment. Ted puts his books on shelves.

Marshall: What is it?

Ted: An Encyclopedia "World Book" of 1986. It is with these that I grew up.

Marshall: Encyclopedia?

Ted: Do you think we should say-die encyclo-pil. It's a common mistake. But if you look at the direction of the bar on the "e". The symbol of this encyclopedia, you'll know it is a diacritic which aims to change...

The shelves and take away the plaster fall with them.

Marshall: You know, it'll have you "dia-pays" for it.

End flashback

Marshall: But you've ever done. Second, the evidence B.

Flashback

Ted entered the apartment, disguised.

Ted: Hello, good topics. Look what I won at the festival.

He turned his scourge and pat on the ceiling.

End flashback

Marshall: You're also responsible for damage to Robin when she was your girlfriend.

Robin: What damage did I do?

Marshall: Do you remember the time you got drunk the pack of beer and you've become Super Canadian?

Flashback

Robin plays hockey in the apartment.

Robin: Stanley Cup game six? The Rangers will regret having met with the Canucks.

Marshall: $ 20 if you manage to run it through the door.

Robin: You're more amazing than a Tim Hortons donut. Timmy Ho!

It takes Lily and the intercepts.

Lily is Enough. Give me the stick.

Robin: I'll give you the teeth of happiness. A little here, a little there.

Lily: Give me the stick.

Robin: Get out, bouseuse.

Lily: Let's go!

Lily throws herself on her to catch the crook.

Ted: Catch it, guys!

Robin: I'll break!

They fight.

Ted: Girls, stop!

Marshall: For America.

Ted: It's good enough!

Barney: It does not stop a fight between girls! Ever!

He gives a fist into the wall, and made a hole.

End flashback

Ted: Barney's fault entirely. As fat burning on the mantelpiece, for that matter.

Flashback

Lots of people are in an apartment.

Ted (2030): Children, to understand the history of the burn, I must tell you the story of the intervention for our friend, Stewart.

Stewart: What's going on?

Man: This is an intervention.

Women: Alcohol has changed you, Stewart. We recognize you more. And I love the man I married.

Stewart: Thank you. This is the boost I need. I love you all.

Barney reaches a bottle in his hand.

Barney: This is the man of the evening. It's time to let the monster out of his cage!

Stewart: No.

Barney: Come on, man. People want to see Bruce Banner.They want Hulk. What?

(Robin whispers in his ear) That's the invitation to have flown.

Ted (2030): This evening, we celebrated our first successful intervention.

At the apartment...

Robin: I'm really proud that we have helped Stewart.

Lily: Yes, what a moment of incredible human sincerity.

Marshall: It's true. We live.

Barney: You're going to seriously continue to wear this hat?

Lily: Yes, it's been two weeks.

Marshall: Two wonderful weeks... and oh yes, I will continue to wear it.

He left the apartment with the hat on. The next day...

Lily: This is an intervention.

Ted: About the hat.

Marshall: I control. I can remove it whenever I want.

Robin: "Dear Marshall, I do not like that stupid hat. I want to cut with a scythe. Or, cut the chisel, for you looks like a real jerk. "

Ted (2030): After that, the interventions have become frequent in the apartment.

Lily returns.

Lily: Oh my God. This is one of p'tain of pleasant surprise. This is about what?

Ted: This is about the exaggerated English accent.

Lily: P'tain.

It's time for Robin.

Robin: Self Tanner? They entice you with a coupon, and after it becomes addictive.

Lily: We know, darling, you know. This is a brand new vest.

Then Barney.

Barney: What?

Robin: The magic tricks.

Lily: Specifically, those with fire.

Barney: The magic tricks? Guys, interventions are meant to help people, not to address every aspect you do not like.Sorry, but it warms me. It makes me boil! I mean, I am filled with a burning rage! (There is a magic trick, but set fire to the banner) Thanks! Oh, sh*t.

Lily: It smells like hair!

Ted (2030): And here the history of the burn.

End flashback

Ted: It's weird. By removing the closet, I thought I saw the banner.

Marshall: And?

Ted: And the flag was b*rned. Why new? And there are letters from you all, with "Ted" written on it. You prepare a response for me?

Lily: Well, that was stupid. Yes, forget it.

Ted: That was why? The sandals? Hair products?

Marshall: No Stella.

Ted: My God, it was for Stella.

Marshall: I just said "No Stella." It was perhaps for your hearing problems.

Ted: What?

Marshall: It's getting serious. You see?

Ted: You think I should not marry Stella. You think I should not marry.

Marshall: We want him. We are all really happy for you.

Lily: Like I said, it was stupid.

Ted: Obviously, it was not, it had agreed to make interventions more stupid to work on interventions.

Flashback

They are all in the apartment.

Ted: We made too many interventions.

End flashback

Ted: What was your biggest problem with me and Stella?

Barney (incoming): Yes! In the mouth! You said that the "Barney the future" work out. You told me I was crazy. My shrink told me I was crazy. Which is the narcissist with severe emotional disorders, Dr. Grossbard? A banner of intervention?That's what?

Ted: Stella.

Barney: "I can not remain indifferent... "

Ted: You kept it on you?

Barney: Please. "I can not remain impassive while you make the biggest mistake a man can do... get married. Keep my words, it will all part... "Flames! Oh, sh*t! I sent the flame too soon. I had so many important things to say, and... The fact is, Ted, marriage is stupid. Each year there are a million girls aged 22, sexy, who go to bars and call me, "glass half full", but I think they become beasts.

Marshall: Even you, you will meet more girls in 22 years when you get 80.

Barney: I meet this challenge.

Marshall: What challenge?

Barney: Prove that I will be just as great at 80. I'll go out with a girl of 22 years with my old man makeup.

Marshall: I did not challenge. I would love to see it, but I've not challenged.

Barney part.

Ted: I want to hear the other letters.

Lily: This is ridiculous. It changed his mind.

Ted: And if you changed yet? Go Lily, listen to yours.

Lily: "The capabilities of Gilbert reading have improved considerably... "This is a letter I had to give one of my students.

A mother is in her son's room.

Woman: Things go too fast between you and a girl named Stella?

Boy: I'd like.

Ted: I can hear yours?

Robin: "Dear Ted, it's encyclo-pe-die, not encyclo-pil-die. Why you always want to say things so pretentious? Looks like a moron, and it's cr-e-tin and non-cr-ay-tin. "

Ted: You've already read the intervention on my pronunciation. Where is the letter of Stella?

Robin: I have not written. I am your ex. I told myself that everything I say is offensive. In addition, I am sexier it, so who cares?

Marshall: Water has flowed under the bridge...

Ted: Come on.

Marshall: "Dear Ted, Stella seems to be wonderful. But you do not know enough to get married. You do not know probably not enough to get involved in raising a child with her. You do not restore her service or her child or yourself by throwing yourself like that. Just take a little longer. " It was there for months, OK?That was before we know Stella and that way as she's great and what you train super torque. That's why we decided to not make this statement.

Ted: Thank you. Because I really need you to handle it.

Marshall: And we're here.

Robin: And we hope you're not sorry.

Ted: Of course not. It's not like what you said was nonsense.You you were worried.

Lily: But concerns that a completely expelled.

Ted: But you score a point. It all happened very quickly.

Marshall: You know what? This may be because... when it's good, you know.

Ted: I guess, but we are still at the stage where one seeks to know himself. And Lily, you may be right. Stella will not like my stuff. As the robot pot cake. This is the first thing we bought here, remember?

Marshall: Of course it does. My sensors indicate that your shortbread levels are dangerously low.

Ted: My collection of James Bond. You know, we looked at them in order, and... Lily spoke with this weird English accent, until the next month?

Lily: It was sophisticated.

Ted: My cleats signed by Bernie Kosar. My lamp elephant.The English phone booth. My sombrero!

Robin: What are you doing?

Ted: I unpack. I never leave this apartment.

Lily: Ted, stop unpacking. You're in the process of pinball.

Ted: I'm not ready for this responsibility, let alone to be the stepfather of a 7 year old daughter. If I get married and moved to the suburbs, in a twinkling, I exchange old!

Barney at the bar, again disguised as a senior.

Barney (old): Good evening, young lady. You want a caramel?What do you mean, "nothing in common"? We're both older.

Woman: You're cute. How old are you?

Barney: 83 years. How old are you?

Female: 31 years.

At the apartment...

Lily: Ted going bonkers. The movers arrive in 10 hours. His bride awaits in New Jersey. We must do something.

Marshall: I'm on it. Hey, man?

Ted: Hey.

Marshall: Come here a minute.

Ted: What?

Marshall: Know that this is quite normal. The major change can be frightening, and fear... it is one of them. So... why not you give me the Kn*fe? Give it to me. Go. That way I can unpack too. I will stay with you forever! We had a nice life here.That's why we rejected the package. Because unconsciously, we all know that it would be stupid to leave. It's safe and warm here. There is a downstairs bar, a robot cookie in the kitchen.This is my house and I never leave!

Robin: Listen up! You sound like that big beta colo. "Mom, Dad, I want to go. Cool boys play hide and seek with my inhaler. "

Marshall: I can not believe my father had read this letter at our wedding.

Robin: You can not do that to Lily. Your new apartment a few problems with the floor not right and the sewage treatment plant next door, but you will make a great home. Tell her, Lily.

Lily: This is the black hole where dreams go to die. I move it, either.

Robin: Come on.

Lily: Guys, finish unpacking. I will bake cookies to fill R2-plump.

Robin: My God, what a band of cowards! Frightened by the slightest change. Terrified by all that is new. Desperate to cling to your comfort zone. I can not go to Japan. What was I thinking? It's so far. I speak the language. I have not even good pictures of you.

Lily: Oh, honey.

Marshall: Everybody says it's good to change, right? But it's what's good?

Ted: Who wants to go to the same old bar, sit at the same place and drink the same thing? The same thing! My favorite!

They arrive at the bar and discovers Barney (old) kissing a woman.

Ted: Oh, my God!

Barney: I think someone owes me $ 200.

Marshall: Barney, it was not a gamble. Person...

Barney (old): This proves that I will be as great as that when I have 80 years. Tope my arthritis.

Ted: I am moving to New Jersey.

Lily: What?

Ted: And you should move into the new apartment, and Robin should go to Japan.

Robin: Why?

Ted: Because it will age like it or not, then the real question is: do we want to go forward or clinging desperately to the past and end up like that?

Barney (old): You mean great? I am 80 years old guy, and I pack a girl of 22 years.

Woman: Take me with you, darling. I want to see your medals from World w*r II.

Barney (old): In an instant my child.

Marshall: Okay, it matters not.

Barney (old): What? Why?

Robin: It is French, it's like playing tennis without a net.

Ted: You know what? I take care of the warranty. It makes me happy, because every hole in this apartment is a memory I will never forget. But on one condition: you put all 10 tickets aside every week for next year and come back here and buy this tape 50 years of age, and a toast to the incredible year full of change that we had it. Remove from us. My new family and I, Marshall and Lily, in their apartment and Robin in a number of English-language journalists in the West Pacific, ending up here in New York to celebrate this day... The day we closed one chapter of our lives incredibly, to open a new one.

Woman: I had to leave my laptop...

Ted: Remove from here.

In 2009...

Ted (2030): And a year later, that's exactly what we did.

Ted: So, let's raise our glasses of scotch at $ 2 500 for a year of hell.

Robin: Amazing.

Barney: It's amazing.

Ted: It's smoky, with hints of cedar and old... You see the difference between that and tape for $ 10?

Marshall: Not at all.

Barney: I would much Red Bull.

Robin: Wendy, you can take a picture?

Ted (2030): Many things we changed this year, but some have remained the same.

Lily: So if we continued the evening up there?

Marshall: Yeah.

Ted: Good idea. I have the tape.

Barney enters the apartment, disguised as old.

Barney (old): What...?

Robin: Barney is an intervention.

Barney (old): Sorry, I hear you.

Marshall: That's enough, the trick of "old."

Barney (old): The trick in the middle?

Lily: Forget it.

Barney (old): Leave baby? I love this old rhyme!

Ted: I will get my problem.

Barney: You're going to get my boat?

The End