04x16 - Sorry, Bro

[bunniefuu]

Ted (2030): In 2009, your Aunt Robin had a morning show.She had to get up early enough. At what point?

1:45, Robin joined Barney, Ted, Marshall and Lily to McClaren's.

Robin: Hello, everyone.

Marshall: So you do really? You really gonna go to work at 2am.

Robin: I do not for me. I do it for the fans.

Marshall: Who is a fan of a program broadcast at 4am?

Lily: Those with a show at 5am?

Ted: The addicts who have not sold their TV?

Barney: The strippers in this weird time between work and waking the children?

Robin: They are. Put me know. It's been what?

Marshall: You know, as usual.

Barney: Really, as usual.? Think the funniest thing that ever happened.

Robin: It's good.

Barney: And twice that.

Robin: So a chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos?

Barney: Something even funnier happened to Marshall today.

Marshall: First, nothing is funnier than that. Then it's not such a good story.

Robin: Come on, guys. You are four young people active in the most exciting city in the world. And you have nothing to tell me?

Lily: What do you want? Sometimes it's like that. The same thing over and over again. One of my students ate glue.

Barney: I have used questionable methods to skip a very silly girl.

Ted: My ex, Karen, is in New York. The usual routine.

Lily: Karen is here?

Barney: You're kidding me!

Ted (2030): Children, I think you talked about Karen.

Flashback

Ted (2030): It was my girlfriend in high school and at times in college. She was beautiful, intelligent. I was crazy in love with her. The only problem, Marshall and Lily were not. It should probably come out of this as soon as we opened.

Ted is on his bed, kissing a girl while Lily and Marshall are playing cards.

Karen: I like you live in a dorm. It's so American. Like eating rotten sandwiches and be r*cist.

End flashback

Lily: My God, it was a real idiot.

Marshall: Dude, the gold medal of the andouille de Vire.

Ted: It was not that bad.

Lily: Of course, for you. You had it turned into a zombie of andouille.

Marshall: I want to eat your brain, but only if it is organic and free range.

Ted: What?

Flashback

Marshall, Lily, Ted and Karen eat in the room of Ted and Marshall.

Lily: You pass me the salt?

Karen: The salt? It's so bourgeois.

Ted: Bluntly.

Marshall is lying on his bed, wearing Ted and Karen's books next.

Karen: What is this?

Marshall: It's... a TV.

Karen: I not watch TV.

Ted: Bluntly.

Karen: You thought I would buy tickets to WrestleMania? It was ironic.

Ted: Bluntly.

Marshall (disguised): I know... you was ironic. Me too... I'm ironic.

Lily (arriving disguised): Let's go! What?

End flashback

Marshall: This makeup has one month to go. I met with parents of Lily. I have never looked so stupid.

Barney: So far. Tells the story, tells the story!

Marshall: Get off me!

Robin: Wait. It's really funny?

Barney: I'm not kidding. I almost do not want you to hear, because really, for the rest of your life, nothing will ever be as fun and you, curse you for agreeing to hear. You gotta hear it.This is too funny.

Marshall: Okay.

Flashback

Marshall is in the locker room with his colleagues.

Marshall: This morning I was in the gymnasium of the box to play basketball. The guys from work can be quite violent with their taunts.

Bilson: Look Wisniewski. He will cry. Look at him.

Man: Look at him.

Marshall: I think that the knees are made to bend like that. He may have torn his cruciate ligament.

Bilson: Dude, all that he has torn, that's her uterus or maybe her hymen.

Man: Yeah, or the fallopian tube.

End flashback

Marshall: I can be a bit watered down dialogue, whatever...

Flashback

Marshall: I searched my bag to get my stuff working...

End flashback

Barney: Wait. Expect. I want to say.

Marshall: Okay. Say it.

Barney: He searched his bag to get his stuff, and... No, say it.It's more fun if you say so. Let me say it. No, say it. You say.Say it. At the same time. No, go ahead.

Marshall: I forgot...

Barney: He forgot his pants!

Flashback

Marshall is in shorts in the corridors of his job. He enters his office.

End flashback

Barney: He forgot his pants.

GENERIC

Robin: He forgot his pants. It's pretty funny. Less than a chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos. I mean, he... he forgot that he was already one? Moron, the monkey.

Ted: So, Karen in New York. Bizarre, no?

Lily: You can not get back with Karen.

Ted: I never said I'd do that. I thought it arrives. That would be the worst disaster if I called?

Marshall: It is not the worst, no. That would be the fourth worst.1: Super volcano. 2: An asteroid falls to Earth. 3: Any record of Evel Knievel is lost. 4: Ted called Karen. 5: Lily is eaten by a shark.

Lily: My name is Lily and I approve this order. You know the story. Ted and Karen had a rocky relationship in college. It always happened like this. They were having fun, being obnoxious until one day...

Flashback

Ted enters her room with a pizza.

Ted: You find pepperoni fascist and you're so right, so... (He finds Karen in bed with another) Oh, my God! Karen!

Man: Sorry, dude.

Karen: Before you say a word, I think you should read Les Fleurs du Mal by Baudelaire.

End flashback

Marshall: After that, they broke. Ted was totally depressed, and we waited the necessary time to tell him what we thought of it.

Flashback

Ted: I broke up with Karen.

Lily: They hated it!

Marshall: Bye bye, the slut!

End flashback

Lily: Then Ted went up the noggin and took the bus to Providence to tell Karen's four truths.

Flashback

Marshall: How was it?

Ted: Super. Look who's here!

Marshall and Lily: Karen.

End flashback

Lily: And finally, all over again from scratch.

Flashback

Ted: It's gonna be 10,002 Maniacs, because I have tickets to Natalie Merchant...

He finds Karen still in bed with a man.

Man: Sorry, dude.

End flashback

Robin: She came to see you in college and when you had my back turned, she brought the guys in your room?

Barney: Respect.

Ted: I was an idiot. It was my first real girlfriend. I was crazy about her. We've all done things we regret in college. In the third year, Marshall has grown the goatee, wearing a beret and Rasta required to be called MJ Cool.

Marshall: I regret it at all.

Ted: So you really think that I should not call?

Robin: No.

Marshall: Go back in your little head it.

Ted: OK, OK. Interesting information: it is already done.

Lily: Are you kidding!

Barney: The pants!

Lily: I can not believe that thou hast called. Why do not you invite him to lunch as you're at it?

Ted: Because I will not invite him to lunch... again.

Lily: You have to lunch?

Marshall: Why do you want to lunch with an ex?

Barney: Good question, there are four reasons for a "meal ex '.1: They want to get back together.

Lily: As my high school boyfriend, Scooter.

Flashback

A man arrives with flowers in the restaurant where Lily is already.

Lily: The Lilium, not stupid. Sorry, I have no scooter for you.

Scooter: This is super funny! I forgot your humor.

Lily: It is this server?

Scooter: Why? You like the servers? I can be a waiter. I will become the best server in the world, and you'll love me!

End flashback

Barney: 2: They want to k*ll you. As my lunch with Wendy.

Flashback

Barney is the restaurant with Wendy.

Wendy: Happy is that way at last. You know, after you have rejected nine times, I almost drop.

Barney: But you did not do it, you've continued to insist.

Wendy: Actually, there is one thing I wanted to give you.

Barney: g*n! She's got a g*n!

He runs away.

Wendy: It's a tie!

End flashback

Barney: 3: They make you really want your business.

Robin: As my lunch with Curt.

Flashback

Robin is the restaurant with Curt.

Curt: Actually, there is one thing I wanted to give you.

He pulls out a g*n and gives it.

Robin: My short-barreled 38 Special Police! I knew that I had left it somewhere. Every time I watch the news, I pray it is not my g*n.

Curt: We did well to break.

End flashback

Barney: Or four: You taunt with their success.

Marshall: As my lunch with Nicole Barsamian.

Robin: Who is Nicole Barsamian?

Marshall: My ex.

Flashback

Marshall is at school, at dinner with a girl.

Marshall: Hi, Nicole.

Nicole: You look good.

Marshall: You look pretty.

Nicole: I see someone.

Marshall: Already? Who?

Nicole: Lee Roberts. He already reads like a CM2.

End flashback

Marshall: You must cancel the luncheon.

Ted: I'd do that, of course... if he had not already occurred.

Lily: Robin, I will have to borrow the butt of your g*n.

Robin: I still lost. You come to believe?

Lily: How can you break bread with this chick?

Ted: It was a lunch and not eat wheat. It was nice to be back.We even laughed at the idiots we were.

Flashback

Ted is the restaurant with Karen, his ex.

Karen: Say I had a beret different every day.

Ted: Say I had a picture of Moliere on my backpack.

Karen: It was pretentious.

Ted: Bluntly pretentious.

Waiter: What would you like?

Karen: I want to make a scene, but in your list of wines, there is a Chateauneuf-du-Pape listed under "Côtes de Provence".You should tell your waiter.

Waiter: And for you?

Ted: I hate change, but take us brushettes and fresh mozzarella. Grazie.

End flashback

Ted: It was great. There was an odd moment near the end.

Robin: How to say goodbye in these situations? A kiss on the cheek, too familiar. A handshake, too formal.

Barney: And a hug is like a hug in public.

Marshall: You must embrace strangely.

Lily: What has happened?

Ted: So...

Flashback

Karen: Schopenhauer had a discussion daring, in which he opposed...

Ted kisses her.

End flashback

Lily: Ted, darling. Go outside and bite the curb. I arrive in 1 minute.

Ted: Karen was the first girl I really loved. And after the year I had, I dunno, I think of lunch with her reminded me what it was to turn 18 and life ahead. And I would remind everyone that at least I was wearing pants.

Marshall: You can not change the subject like that.

Robin: The pants.

Barney: The pants! The pants!

Marshall: It was nothing! I had a small problem, so I called Lily.

Barney: Tell us, what was this concern?

Marshall: I forgot my pants.

Flashback

At school, Lily is on the phone.

Lily: What do you mean you forgot your pants?

Marshall: I forgot. You have a bringest me.

Lily: And the spare.

Marshall: Last Thursday, the mustard? You have a goldfish memory.

End flashback

Lily: Ted, you're not going out so easily. While the history of pants is fun...

Barney: Fun? Rather, very fun.

Lily: That's nothing compared to this crazy thing with Karen.Ends.

Ted: That's all. It was just a kiss in a restaurant.

Lily: Why do you say "the restaurant"? You've embraced elsewhere?

Ted: As in a tree? No, it was not done in a tree. What is his problem?

Marshall: You did what?

Flashback

Ted and Karen return to the apartment, with a kiss.

End flashback

Barney: How could you?

Lily: Marshall forgot his pants today, and yet you are the stupidest in this table.

Ted: Lily, let's be honest. We know both your motives. You hate Karen because she lingered.

Lily: assh*le.

Robin: What do you mean by linger?

Lily: February 5,... In 1998. I painted...

Flashback

Lily Marshall painted while laying bare. Karen enters the room.

Karen: I'm sorry. Sorry. (She goes out then comes back) The color palette is a bit derivative of the first Van Gogh, right?

End flashback

Lily: Ted Horn, critique my painting, anything, that's your business. But I catch you eyeing the mess of my guy and you lingered? You'll be received well.

Robin: The game is the game

Marshall: In his defense, I had just the muscle.

Ted: Why paint naked?

Lily: He had eaten my fruit bowl. The fact is that Karen is a dirty pervert, you can not bring into our lives.

Ted: Relax, it was just one night! And three after. And one morning. But at least I had pants. Even if, in fact, I had not.

Robin: It happened to us? Where was I?

Ted: You know the sleeping pills you take for your crazy schedule? They are stronger than you think.

Flashback

Ted and Karen kissing on the couch, then rises to the room of it.

Robin La Fontaine sends the puck to Turgeon. (She sleeps on the desk in the lounge) draws Turgeon. Judgment of the mitten.

Ted and Karen kissing on the couch again.

Robin: Do not worry. I will say nothing to Marshall.

Karen: I'll have a beer. You want one? A beer. I decanted Bordeaux.

Robin is lying in the kitchen, half asleep and eat.

End flashback

Barney: Ted, that's for sure, it's fun to look back when you were a farm girl fresh complexion and a virgin. But all that stuff... Ohio, Karen, in college... it was A.S. "Before Stinson." Now your life is great! Okay, you still live with your ex, which is ridiculous. Laser tag your skills are almost nonexistent. And your wardrobe, it's like, what, you're allergic to fabric quality?Seriously, pull yourself together. What are we talking?

Robin: What is the result with the bimbo?

Marshall: It's a foregone conclusion. Ted is Charlie Brown trying to sh**t and Karen, it's Lucy who takes away the ball at the last second and sleeping with. You have understood me.Ted falls in love, and Karen is going wrong with a playboy, who says... "Sorry, dude."

Ted: False! You got to let the right answer in your pants, because that's exactly what did not happen.

Ted (2030): Because that's what happened.

Flashback

Ted and Karen are in bed and kiss.

Ted (2030): An afternoon at Karen.

A man enters the room and discovers Karen with Ted.

Man: My God. How could you?

Ted: Sorry, dude.

Ted (2030): This time, the playboy with whom she deceived...

End flashback

Ted: That was me. Me. The one time Marshall forgot his pants?

Marshall: Damn! Stop changing the subject. You have gone too far. You are complicit in breaking the heart of this poor guy.And you, you are best placed to know how it feels.

Robin: You really do speak of your pants?

Marshall: What?

Barney: Pant, pant...

Marshall: Okay! Lily came to the office to bring me my pants...

Barney: Why she did this?

Marshall: Because I forgot.

Flashback

Lily out of the elevator and crosses Barney.

Barney: Lily, what are you doing here?

Lily: I just give something to Marshall.

Barney: He "give" something. Understood. Nice.

Lily: But I'm in a hurry. I can give it to you?

Barney: Of course, yes.

Lily: And you give him?

Barney: Wait. I do not know. Yours had better be really good.

Lily: What are you talking?

Barney: What about you?

Lily: Marshall forgot his pants, so I brought him one.

Barney: He forgot his pants. Good thing you came because today it has an important meeting, and it would be embarrassing and not at all funny if it were to show no pants. I will make sure he has.

Lily: Awesome. Thank you.

End flashback

Ted: And you did not give him.

Barney: Theodore Evelyn Mosby. Of course I gave him. I gave him my word. It is concrete. For cons, I made a few alterations.

Flashback

Barney cut Marshall's pants. Marshall is in a meeting.

Marshall: As you can see on page 44 of the contract...

Bilson: Since when you are in AC / DC?

Marshall: You can look at page 44 of the contract?

Man: Auditions for Oliver Twist are down!

Barney: Please, can I have more... pants?

End flashback

Barney laughs alone.

Barney: More...

Robin: Is that all? It's the story?

Marshall: What has happened to Karen?

Lily: I'll finish for you. Ted left without saying anything, and Karen got exactly what she wanted.

Ted: Not this time.

Flashback

In Karen, Ted gets dressed.

Ted: You have a boyfriend?

Karen: It's a moment you move away. I intended to break.

Ted: You're unbelievable. You do not have the guts to break up with someone decent. So, you've preferred to ride it all.

Karen: OK, you're right. I'm good in literature. Gifted in art.Good at identifying a French wine for less than a kilometer from where the grapes grew. But... I'm really bad to watch someone and say what I feel.

Ted: We're both zero for that. But... I think we need to change.Why do not I would start? You are really hurtful and reckless.Goodbye.

Karen: Ted, wait. In fact, "good bye" means "until we see each other again." So I guess you mean that in fact, we'll meet again?

Ted: Sorry, dude.

End flashback

Robin: I am impressed. For you too have worn it all day?

Marshall: It shows my calves.

Barney: The pants. Still tells.

Lily: You know, this is perhaps good that you called Karen.

Ted: Of course. And that for me, too. Later, she spoke with Jerry, and the discussion was that it avoided breaking with me.

Ted (2030): You see, children, sometimes when you have to have a difficult discussion, the better to do...

Lily: Wait a minute. You said that you never reparlerais him?So how do you know she has followed your advice?

Ted: Right. On this subject... After breaking up with this guy, we went out, we slept since we're together. It's really okay, this time it's different. Here it is. Be nice!

The End