05x09 - Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap

[bunniefuu]

Ted (2030): In November 2009, Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily celebrated their first Thanksgiving in their own apartment. And Marshall had found the perfect turkey.

Marshall out of a taxi, the phone to your ear.

Marshall: It's beautiful. She is 10 pounds. It is organic. Do you remember my uncle Heinrek bald? Looks like his head squarely.(The taxi hand) Oh, my God! My my turkey... turkey!

He runs behind the cab to try to catch up.

Ted (2030): So when we got to the big day, Marshall was rather depressed.

Ted and Robin arrive at Lily and Marshall where Barney is already there.

Robin: We brought the turkey.

Marshall: You have brought back an old turkey replacement.Why I have not listened to the message of former mayor Ed Koch saying not to forget my business.

Robin Marshall, you do not understand.

Ted: With Robin we went to the objects found in the prefecture and there, sitting in their fridge... Is this your turkey?

Marshall: Yes! It's my turkey! Come here, my beautiful little enfoirée!

Lily: I'll go put it in the oven.

Marshall: You're the best friends in the world!

Marshall takes Robin and Ted in his arms.

Barney: It was a team effort.

Barney is going to give them a hug but Ted pushes.

Marshall: I do not know what to say. It's Thanksgiving, but "thank you" does not seem enough.

Ted: You have done the same for us.

Marshall: Yes, and you know why? Because I love you. And I'll show you how. Ted Mosby and Robin Scherbatsky, I bring you... the fourth slap.

Barney: Wait. What?

Ted (2030): Children Remember the slap bet to Marshall and Barney.

Flashback

At Ted's apartment...

Ted (2030): When Barney lost, Marshall has earned the right to slap Barney five times as hard as he can. Until then, he had used three. The third was issued two years ago at Thanksgiving 2007. A day was appointed... Baffegiving.

End flashback

Ted: You're saying...

Robin: What you think you say?

Marshall: Certainly not. Unless you were thinking... "Baffegiving two: Revenge of the lower" in this case, yes, that's what I'm saying!

Barney: The slaps are not transferable.

Marshall: Lily is the curator of the bet.

Lily: The slaps are transferable.

Robin and Ted: Transferable.

Robin: You realize that you will remain one. Are you sure you want to spend a day.

Marshall: Life is short. I tell myself, Baffe Diem. A rule, the slap must be given before sunset to avoid interference dinner Lily.

Lily: And how!

Marshall: Two, you must decide which of you will. Three, we will attach to the chair Barney, now be called The Throne of Baffe. It fits you?

Lily: Awesome.

Barney: Absolutely not!

Ted (2030): Everything was in place for this to be the best Thanksgiving. Until...

We rang the doorbell.

Lily: We expect someone else?

Ted (2030): It was someone with whom Lily had had no contact in three years.

Lily opens the door.

Lily: Dad?

GENERIC

Ted (2030): Lily and her father, Mickey, have always had a difficult relationship.

Flashback

In 1998...

Ted (2030): Mickey's dream was to invent the best game of American society. But his ideas were always weird.

Lily Young: Doo-Dah? You missed my dance recital.

Mickey: Yes, sweetie, but look! I just finished my new board game hit, "The Merchant of Sleep in Tijuana."

Lily Young: Doo-Dah? You missed my meeting gymnastics.

Mickey: Yes but it's good! "Car Battery. How long can you hold?"Hey, Princess. Take that.

He shows clips to charge car batteries.

Lily Young: Doo-Dah? I had a nightmare.

Mickey: Well, just play the new game from Dad, "There is a demon clown under the bed."

Lily by shouting.

End flashback

Ted (2030): All his life, Mickey disappointed Lily. And she did it with, so far in 2006, when Lily went to see his grandparents.

Flashback

In 2006, Marshall and Lily visit the grandparents of the latter.

Marshall: Rita, you are anxious... to move to Florida?

Rita: Well, my dear, slight change of plan. We stay here for now.

Grandfather was a minor setback financially.

Voice: The straw of my mini-juice broke! Man, hurry! What a nice surprise.

Lily: What has happened with your apartment?

Mickey: I had a little problem with my roommate.

Lily: What has happened?

Mickey: He wanted me to pay rent. It has ended badly.

Lily: You should pay rent to live in the basement of your parents.

Mickey: It's not my first choice. With the old schnoques up there it's a little disturbing. They do not understand the trick of the sock on the handle.

Marshall: They surprised you with a girl?

Mickey: In a sense.

Grandfather soon sweetie. I go to work.

Lily: Working? You are retired.

Grandfather: Now that I have another mouth to feed I had to return to the mill. Where is my truss?

Lily: You not only prevented them from moving to Florida but you obliged to rework grandfather?

Mickey: Just the time to share my games with my Aldrin limitless SENSAS last game ', "Fighting dogs".

Ted (2030): And Lily threw a glance at her father that Marshall had seen only a few times. A look that we all pray not to receive, his eyes "You're dead to me."

End flashback

Ted (2030): Which brings us back to Thanksgiving 2009.

Mickey: I brought "The Disease"!

Lily he closes the door in his face.

Lily: What is he doing here?

Marshall: I do not know but we should bring him in and discover.

Lily: I want to see him! Returns it!

Lily hand in the room while Marshall will open the door.

Marshall: Stay there, okay? We will solve the problem.

Mickey: Take your time, amigo. All is well as I "Of Diseases"!Having fun is contagious.

Marshall closes the door.

Robin: I hope Lily is well.

Ted: Me too. She speaks little, but that thing with his father gave him much trouble.

Barney: Tell me which of you is going to slap me!

Ted: What?

Barney: I die, I, here. Ted takes a chip, I jump! Robin arranges her hair, I jump! I jump all the time. It's bad for my skin. It gives me wrinkles. Wrinkles!

Marshall and Lily are in the room.

Marshall: Lily, go. It's been 3 years. This is long enough.

Lily: The equity in my life brings me nothing but stress. It's easier that he is dead to me.

Marshall: I've supported when our neighbor, Mr. Sias, d*ed in your sight.

Flashback

Lily comes out on the landing and his neighbor is about to go home.

Lily: This is our journal.

Neighbor: You will have it in 15 minutes. 20 or more. I ate a steak last night.

End flashback

Marshall: And when Whitney, your maid of honor, had d*ed in your sight.

Flashback

Lily prepares for her wedding.

Robin: You're worth it!

Female: The color is gorgeous!

Lily: Thank you, girls.

Whitney: I'm not a fan of strapless.

End flashback

Marshall: I even understood when Mr. Park to the grocery store downstairs was dead in your eyes.

Flashback

Lily is in a grocery store.

Lily: A coffee, please. But only if it is decaf. I want to sleep tonight.

Grocer: $ 1.50.

Man: Coffee normal.

Grocer: $ 1.50.

Lily: I'm sorry. Are you sure mine is decaf? You used the same coffee.

Grocer: I lied to him to him. Okay?

Lily: OK (She leaves the grocery store, coffee in hand. In his bed while sleeping Marshall)... You dirty bastard! (It returns in pajamas to the grocery store) It was not decaf!

End flashback

Marshall: I've supported with these unknowns, but it's your father, okay? We can at least give him some turkey?

Lily: No.

Marshall: Go. Please, I can not ask him to leave at Thanksgiving.

Lily: You did not ask. Tell him it's just important that it is here. In less than two, it will be a games convention in Toledo, to give money to your dental apparatus in a so-called Milton Bradley.

Marshall: He was trying to earn money to feed his family.

Lily: No, that's what mom was doing with his two jobs. This man broke my heart every day for 20 years.

Marshall: So we can give pieces of chicken not cooked.

In the lobby of Marshall and Lily...

Ted: Seriously Robin, you should have the slap. You're a big baffeuse. In fact, I want to study the slaps in your tutoring. I wanna be your apprentice-slap.

Robin: Do not underestimate. You're a rock star of slaps. Your name should be Eric Baffe-PTON.

Barney: This is t*rture. Put me in the chair...

Ted: The Throne of Baffe.

Barney: And finish it!

Robin: It's all yours.

Ted: No. To you, I insist.

Robin: Okay, I will.

Ted: Great. Wait, what?

Robin: I say I'll slap.

Ted: What, so it's... the end of the discussion?

Robin: You said I could slap.

Ted: I was polite. If someone will slap, it will be me.

Robin: No, not at all.

Barney: This is interesting.

In the room of Marshall and Lily...

Marshall: It's your family. And I'm sorry but we do not separate the family.

Lily: It's easy for you to say that, you come to the family the most ridiculously close to the world.

Marshall: It is not ridiculously close.

Lily: Really? And the Eriksen family dinner every Sunday?

Flashback

Marshall's parents, the family is at the table.

Father: Everything looks delicious, mom Eriksen.

Mother: Thank you, daddy bear. Marshall, will you say grace?

Marshall, in video on the computer: Well, I would be happy, Mom. Everyone, please, give your hands. Dear Lord...

End flashback

Lily: I'm sorry but it's weird.

Marshall: A family must be close like that. And I want our future family is. And that includes your father.

Lily: I can not believe you take her part. Let me be clear. This man will never set foot in this house, ever!

Marshall opens the door.

Marshall: It will take about 5 minutes.

Mickey, sitting on the floor: I hope it's soon. I lose the w*r against hemorrhoids.

Marshall: It's a disease?

Mickey: No.

He closes the door. Then leaves the room to join Lily.

Robin: We have one hour before sunset, and none of us baffera Barney.

Ted: Let me do it. It was my idea to call the objects found in the prefecture.

Barney: It's a good point. Rebuttal?

Robin: I slipped a note of the type 20!

Barney: philosophical riddle. Idea against execution. Itemize your arguments.

Ted: I brought this large turkey so far.

Robin: I paid the taxi.

Ted: You've slept with one of my best friends!

Robin: What? You said it was fine.

Ted: Well, no!

Robin: Why did not you say anything?

Ted: Because I love you always!

Robin: You really want to slap Barney the point of lying and pretending to be in love with me?

Ted: I really want to slap!

Lily brings the turkey on the table.

Marshall: Your father has made mistakes in the past, but it has changed. He moved out of your grandparents. He has a job. He pays his taxes.

Lily: Wait, how you know all this?

Marshall: Gender, body language. Okay, we had a drink last week.

Flashback

Marshall is with McLaren's Lily's father.

Mickey: I miss her so much. My little princess. She talks about me?

Marshall: Yeah, kind, all the time. She tells this story all the time...

Mickey: Never?

Marshall: No, not a word. But that does not have to be like that.We can fix that, right?

Mickey: I always thought it would arrange the marriage. I even wrote a speech. But hey, not invited '. Thin, I have not even seen the wedding photo.

Marshall: And right before my eyes, your father broke down in tears. (Actually, it's Marshall who starts crying) Stop it! You come to Thanksgiving!

End flashback

Lily: You've invited?!

Marshall: The poor man was sobbing. What could I do? A fool and called him a girl, what I found unjustified.

Lily: I do not believe you. What gives you the right to do that?

Marshall: You and I are married. So it is also part of my family.(Marshall will open the door for the third time) Enter.

Lily left the apartment.

Robin, Marshall, Ted and Mickey playing a game of it.

Mickey: Ted, you should play quickly. Your gallbladder is about to explode.

Marshall: It must be half an hour. We should get Lily.

Mickey: You have to let it calm down. Finish the game.

Barney: Repeat-a. The first seven!

Ted: Robin sh*t! I knew Barney first. This is for me to slap.

Robin: This slap is mine, Mosby. I never slap Barney... above the belt.

Ted: I want to slap Barney since I met him!

Robin: And I would not slap?

Ted: One second. This slap was supposed to be a wonderful thing, a gift, and it has turned against each other.

Robin: My God, you're right. This fruit has changed in immaculate slap-poisoned apple. You know what? Seriously, do it.

Ted: Are you sure?

Robin: Baffe-solument.

Marshall: We should really get Lily.

Mickey: Ted, gall bladder about to fart.

Ted: It's decided. Barney, go. Come on the throne.

Barney: You're gonna...

Ted: Yep. Go.

Barney: I guess this is the best choice, Robin. Finally... the men are stronger than women.

Barney is on "the throne".

Ted: Do not listen. It's decided.

Barney: And that's what you always wanted, is not it? A strong man to take care of you? Of course, teenager, you were a feisty, playing hockey with the boys, you skinned your knees on the ice. But what you could say to your teammates... or even to yourself... that is all you really wanted was this pretty white dress in this beautiful white chapel. And at the end of the aisle strewn with pretty white flowers, a man to take care of all your slaps.

Robin: Leads to me!

Ted holds it.

Ted: Robin! Pull yourself together! (The timer sounds and "something sprung from the game) What just happened?

Mickey: Sorry, Ted. expl*si*n of the gallbladder. You stand back 3 spaces.

Marshall: You come here and you watch your daughter go without care. And now you destroy the Thanksgiving dinner! Lily is on it since this morning!

Mickey: Relax. This is not true of bile. It is of Chinese painting to lead. And bile horse.

Ted (2030): And at that time, Marshall is launching a look at Mickey none of us had ever seen.

Mickey: What is it? It does what?

Ted: You have swallowed this painting?

Marshall: This is my look "you're dead to me."

Mickey: Yeah, Lily does it better...

Marshall: Get out of my house!

Marshall finds Lily at the grocery store.

Marshall: In Mr. Park... I was not expecting to find you here. Lily, I'm sorry. Just let me express myself. I thought the family was right but it's wrong. It is a privilege, and it deserves it. I put your father out. And I promise you, baby, I do... you never force her to see him again. (Lily starts to cry) What? Baby, what has happened?

Lily: Marshall, I came here because I was cold and it was the only place that was open. I would not even look at Mr. Park in the eye. And then I discovered that... Mr. Park's death. He really d*ed for me. And if I feel so bad to have never forgiven Mr. Park, a guy who literally did not mean anything to me? We have to get my father.

Marshall takes off his coat and gave it to Lily.

Ted (2030): And that's the way to Thanksgiving 2009, your aunt Lily was a miracle. (Lily and Marshall arrive at the door of their apartment, when Mickey's father, Lily, was released. She throws herself into his arms) It has brought a man to life.

Entire band, and the father of Lily are at the table.

Marshall, tapping on a glass: Everyone. Before we begin, Barney, we'll need you on the throne of Baffe.

Barney: Commissioner of the bet-Baffe, tie me to the chair is a violation...

Lily: Less talking shop, more slaps.

Marshall: You just 2 minutes. You decided which of you will be entitled to a slap in the face to Barney?

It attaches to Barney "Throne".

Robin: It's gonna be Ted.

Ted: What? Why me?

Robin: Last year you were abandoned at the altar. You lost your job. You did so along way. I am so proud of you, Ted. You deserve to slap someone in the face as hard as you can.

Ted: Thank you.

Barney: This is the worst.

Ted gets up and is about to slap Barney when he stops.

Ted: You just go through a break... and even though I know that you and Barney are remained on good terms, there is not a part of you, well hidden that wants to slap in the face?

Robin: Yes

Ted: I know.

Barney: It's downright hell.

Ted and Robin hug.

Ted: Okay.

Robin is about to slap...

Barney: It hurts!

Robin: I can not do it. I can not take that away from you, Ted.

Ted: I do not either.

Barney: thank you God.

Robin: So, I want to move. Mickey?

Barney: No way!

Robin: I'm glad you and Lily try to fix things. You want to welcome into our family, I would like to offer you the slap.

Mickey: Really? It's a bit weird for me, I just met Barney and I have nothing against him but how many times have we a chance to slap someone in the face?

It stretches and then...

Barney: Gently!

Mickey: I'm sorry. I can not do it.

Barney: thank you God.

Mickey: I know I have not been a good father.

Barney: You're kidding me.

Mickey: So for all dance recitals that I missed, for all the art exhibitions that I should attend... for the wedding that I was not able to offer you... I give you, to you This slap.

Barney: No. No, no, no, no. It is the Commissioner of the bet-Baffe. It must remain impartial!

Lily: The Commissioner of the bet-Baffe says it's good.

Barney: It's not good. Please... Let me...

Lily: Close your eyes. It will soon be over.

It warms the hand and stops.

Barney: I'm running in a meadow.

Lily: I can not do it. Why I can not do it?

Marshall: Because... the slap did exactly what I hoped. It brought us together. And it forced us to recognize the weakness and at the same time the greatness in ourselves and in others.

Barney: Stop your bullshit.

Marshall: And so... there will not slap... of... today.

It separates the Barney "Throne".

Barney: This is the best Thanksgiving...

Barney and Marshall gets up the slap, knocking him to the ground.

Marshall: 4! So the turkey?

Voices: A new home Aldrin Games, is... The Bet-Baffe! The game of happy slaps which is a box. (Children are playing, and a little boy slap a girl, then they laugh) You got slap. Right in the face, my friend... For children of all ages. You got slap. It really happened... Everyone saw! Everyone laughed and applauded because it was great...

Boy: I won!

Voice:... The way you got yourself slap. Baffez you like crazy with the Pari-Baffe, Aldrin in a carton. No child was slap while filming the ad.

END