05x24 - Doppelgangers

[bunniefuu]

Ted (2030): Kids at this moment in history, had been found look-alikes. Lookalikes strange but funky, four of us. Robin There was a lesbian. Marshall... the mustachioed Lily the stripper... and Mexican wrestler myself. Yes, mine was the coolest. And therefore, it was all anxious to find the lookalike fifth, that of Barney. It was more important to some than others.

(Lily and Marshall are at McLaren's.)

Lily: We agree, it's insane to have a child before he saw the five doubles, right?

Marshall: Sure, it goes without saying.

Lily: So when we finally see a dead ringer for Barney, this is the message of the universe to tell us to do. And at that time, we'll try. Deal?

Marshall: Deal.

Ted (2030): And one day, a few weeks later...

(Lily and Marshall are in the street.)

Marshall: You were serious with this story of the fifth lookalike?A baby is big enough to let the universe decide.

Lily: I know, it's crazy. It's easier to let the universe decide. Why?

Marshall: Decided!

Lily: Wait 2 seconds! It could easily be Barney who tries to f*ck chicks.

Marshall: I've moved up.

(He calls Barney.)

Barney: Barney here.

Marshall: Marshall. So, you're in the office? You're not, I do not know, driving a taxi, with a wig?

Barney: Yes, I'm in the office. This is the sound of my stapler.This is the sound of my trouilloteuse. And that, the sound of me, ranking the company's directive on sexual harassment. What's new? I gotta run, great leader.

Marshall: Barney's office. It was the fifth double.

Lily: Marshall Eriksen... put a baby in my belly.

(Credits)

(Marshall and Lily find themselves at the bar.)

Marshall: I hasten to add. This is one of the moments you dream about. "Friends, Lily and I have unprotected relations. "I have chills.

Lily: We're going to say anything.

Marshall: What? Why?

Lily: If you tell them, they are invited in at the most private and intimate of our lives.

(Barney opened the bedroom door of Marshall and Lily.)

Barney: You kiss? Go on, I'm not even there. But just like that, have a baby: big mistake. Now, show me.

Ted: Uncle Ted is here! How you will handle the story of Santa Claus? You should be honest. Damn, I will disguise myself.

Robin, on TV: It just happened... is that Marshall Eriksen will say to his wife while trying to impregnate her. Helicopter 12 is live at the scene, with "Baby Alert: 2010."

Marshall: Okay. I tell anyone.

(Robin and Ted joined them.)

Lily: We saw the fifth lookalike!

Robin: Incredible!

Ted: That's great!

Robin: Bizarre. A Barney Brown.

Lily: I know. Say what you want about him, but Barney is better blonde.

Robin: True. The blonde does not go to any guy.

Ted: I'm not sure.

Lily: What?

Ted: This was where I was swimming teacher at Cascade Country Club of Grief, I washed the mop with lemon juice, playing with natural highlights. Let's just say that there were some old pretending to drown. Unfortunately, one has really drowned. In short, blonde suits me.

Marshall, thinking: Okay you two. We are in a delicate situation but very promising.

Lily, thinking: If we play well the next minute, Ted goes to bleach their hair.

Robin, thinking: This is wicked, can not... I just imagine. How do we do?

Ted, thinking: What we all think? Nachos?

(Marshall thinking Ted Mosby meets one thing above all else.)

Ted, thinking: I know. I really had for lunch.

Marshall, thinking: Several people told him not to do something.Follow me.

Ted: I do not care, I can eat. Yes, we would like nachos.

Marshall: I love you buddy, but it is impossible that the blond you go well.

Robin: It would not look good.

Lily: Yeah, seriously, Ted, you not discolor hair.

Ted: I fade hair!

Marshall: It is not at all what we expected!

Ted (2030): The children, Robin and Don became such a duo, both outside and inside the screen, that Channel 12 asked them to lead others of their flagship programs.

(Robin and Don are puppets.)

Don: So that's why Monty and I have vowed never to take dr*gs.Because the drug is bad. Not true, Monty?

Robin: Of course... the chemical stuff, yes. But, what grows in nature, they can try, like, a couple of times.

Don: We do not try to Shadow Zone, Monty.

Robin: I think that we should not lie to kids, Moo-Moo!

Don: So... what do you mean?

Robin: I've tried dr*gs.

Ted (2030): Fun Fact: This episode had the highest ratings.

(Don kisses Robin.)

Robin: What was that for?

Don: Before you, I had given up everything. Relationships, my career, my pants. You have given me want to try again. I love you for that.

Robin: I see...

(Marshall is in the street when a dead ringer for Barney got into his taxi.)

Marshall: Sorry. You do not know me. But I wanted to thank you.In fact, you are someone very important in my life.

Barney lookalike: Important? You mean, legendary? Marshall, it's me!

Ted (2030): Oddly, this was not the biggest surprise of the day.

Robin, on the phone: This is rather sudden. Of course, you will have an answer tomorrow. Okay. Thank you. (She hangs up and then remember) Ted, something big has just arrived and you're the most sensitive people I know. That I may see you. (At the hairdresser...) You know what, it can wait.

Ted: No, go ahead. I'm listening.

Robin: The executive producer of WNKW saw our show the other morning and I loved it. They offer me the position of presenter, starting next week.

Ted: That's great!

Robin: Yes, but here's the thing... WNKW is...

Ted: Helen, dryer stops!

Robin: Is Chicago.

(Marshall is with Barney taxi driving.)

Marshall: You're the fifth double. How can you be you? I called you, Barney. And we talked about!

Barney: Yes, I understand. My colleagues are oddly on the fact that I work. I know, I know.

(Flashback)

Barney: To make them believe that I break my ass, when in truth I break some ass, I made a special message. What's new? I gotta run, Grand Chief.

(End flashback)

Marshall: It was a recording? You called me Big Chief, my nickname special job.

Barney: Come, Grand Chief.

Marshall: Come on. Stops.

(Back to the hair salon...)

Robin: Why it happens now? While all was well with Don. This is the never ending battle of my life: career vs. love.

Ted: "Endless Battle"? Your career has crashed love for years.It's like the Globetrotters vs. the Generals. Crochet career in half, the love is greenhorns who deserve it the Italian league.

Robin: I'm lost. What do I do?

Ted: You really need to talk to Don.

Robin: I'm too upset to talk with him. I have to avoid the time I decide what I want.

Ted: It sounds logical. Sorry to not be able to help you more than that. In truth, I can not be objective about the fact you're gone.

Robin: You did a manicure?

Ted: No, I did not...

Woman: It makes a.

Marshall: Why are you brown taxi driver?

Barney: Oh, that. You know how I dream of making love to a woman from each country?

Marshall: Sure. You're doing well in the Baltics.

Barney: I thought the fastest way to circumnavigate the world in 180 days. Take a taxi and wait before the United Nations.

(Flashback)

(A woman gets into a cab Barney.)

Barney: It was the perfect plan. There's a detail I had not expected.

(End flashback)

Barney: The girls not want to enter a taxi driver. I worked hard on it.

Marshall: I think so. I must confess to Lily that the fifth lookalike is false.

Barney: What's the problem?

Marshall: Lily decided that once you have seen all the doubles, we try to have children.

Barney: Children!? No! Rule: no children under 45! You never read my blog!? He has improved a lot.

Marshall: I'm ready to be a father, you know? But Lily needs a sign of the universe. It could take years.

Barney: Sorry, pal. It'll be $ 37.50.

Ted (2030): That night, Marshall returned to the news to Lily.

(Marshall enters the room where Lily is already there.)

Lily: The universe has spoken. Marshall Eriksen, make a baby.

(Ted with a blonde color Barney and Robin join the bar.)

Barney: They told me, so I've prepared a few. I organize a "marriage". Tell me, Billy Idol, it's going to do? More on Billy Idol.If someone wants the real Slim Shady, it's there. This one was good. Robin, why do not you help me?

Ted: First, I get lots of compliments. Then tell her.

Robin: It gets no compliments.

Ted: The other thing.

Robin: It may be that I moved to Chicago next week.

Marshall: Just to know, but it would do the same if we had not seen the Barney look-alike, eh?

Lily: But we have seen, which means that the universe in its infinite wisdom, tell me of planting, and apply yourself.

Marshall: I can not. I can in good conscience you plant.

Lily: I know what's bothering you.

Marshall: Really?

Lily: The taxi driver looked like enough to Barney.

Marshall: Well, there you got wrong.

Barney: Time out! This is a group decision! You can not go to Chicago before we are all agreed.

Ted: I think Robin...

Barney: Stay out of it, Brigitte Nielsen and Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV! We need Marshall and Lily.

Lily: It was smaller than Barney!

Marshall: It was the same size!

Lily: And you know what? I think he was Asian. Yeah, this guy was a little Asian with a graying goatee and belly.

Marshall: You forgot what looks like Barney?

Barney: You kiss?

Marshall: Why are you in our room? (Robin's turn to...) Why are you in our room? (Followed by Ted) Why Ellen DeGeneres is in our room?

Ted: It works!

Barney: Wait a second. Candles... flowers... I guess that Marshall has "forgotten" to tell you. The fifth lookalike... it was me.

Lily: What? Wait, you were aware? You lied to me?

Marshall: By omission, because this idea of "let the world decide" is crazy.

Lily: Baby, you...

Marshall: We must control our...

Barney: Friends! We forget what is really important here. Ted is blond.

Ted: Friends, I'm doing well. Robin has something important to say.

Robin: It failed him.

Ted: The other thing.

Robin: He had a manicure.

Ted: The other thing.

Robin: I had a job offer in Chicago.

Barney: That's why we're all here. For Robin to deter...

Robin: Actually, I already made my decision. Friends, I must accept.

(Marshall, Lily, Barney and Ted are in the bar.)

Ted: I can not believe that Robin is going to lose.

Lily, thinking: Perhaps it's the depression talking, but Ted's hair beginning to be well?

Marshall, thinking: Thank God, I thought I was the only one!

Barney, thinking: Looks like a real movie star!

Ted: And besides, it was a big mistake. I will re-stain the hair.

Lily: Finally.

Marshall: I told you so.

Barney: Not so great that.

(Robin joins them.)

Robin: So I was on the phone with Chicago.

(Flashback)

(Robin is on the phone.)

Robin: Yes, I made my decision. I appreciate the offer, but I can not accept it. Thank you.

(End flashback)

Robin: I'm staying.

(Marshall and Lily go around.)

Marshall: Tell me... Did you see the real Barney driving the taxi, and you thought it was a little Asian pot-bellied.

Lily: I know. It's weird, huh?

Marshall: It's not weird. That means you're not ready. Sorry for wanting to rush things. Our baby can expect the real dead ringer for Barney.

(On the other side of the road, a dead ringer for Barney juggles.)

(Don returned to his apartment.)

Robin: Hello Moo-Moo! Monty did you do an extra-fine pizza just as you love them! Are you okay?

Don: You'll never believe it. I was offered the position of presenter WNKW in Chicago.

Robin: You said what?

Don: I agreed. It's been years I expect this opportunity.

Marshall: Barney?

Sosie: I'm single mountebank of Estonia. Who is this Barney?

Marshall: It's just a guy we know who has a blog and really bad.

Sosia: It seems that he is improving. Finally, what is it, "blog"?

Marshall: This is something that was cool 8 years ago.

Sosia: Always cool. It looks pretty cool.

Lily: What's your name?

Sosia: Kristof.

Lily: how Kristof?

Sosia: Kristof... Sosie.

Marshall: Really? Your last name is "Sosie"?

Lookalike: It's my name, man.

Don: Wait. Trying to understand.

Robin: I'm going.

Don: Wait. Put yourself in my place. You can imagine what it is to be offered a dream job?

Robin: I can. Good luck in Chicago, Don.

Lily: Barney, why are you doing this?

Marshall: Wait a second. Is it possible that Barney Stinson secretly hope they have children?

Sosia: Who is Barney? Calm down the U.S.!

Lily: Let me talk about him. He keeps saying that nobody should have children before 45 years.

Sosie: I'd be interested to read what he has to say in his blog.

Lily: But I think I know what happens. Yesterday, Barney felt obliged to say goodbye to someone he really likes. And it made him think... A baby joining our group might not be the worst thing.

Sosia: Babies... this can be cute.

Lily: And one day he will be the best uncle in the world. Because it Barney, he is part of our family.

(Lily and Marshall and Barney start getting ready to put things...)

Woman: Excuse me. I heard you come from Estonia. So do I.

Barney: Excuse me a moment. Estonia Baltic countries would complete!

Woman: And I'm like you clown.

(She takes the sword from the hands of Barney and puts it in his mouth. It appears the Barney and faints.)

(Robin arrives in tears at Ted's apartment.)

Robin: Say yes to that.

Ted: Yes.

Robin: I can re-move? (Ted takes her in his arms. They sit on the couch) Is I'm the biggest idiot in the world?

Ted: Think of all of us, five years ago, when we met you.Marshall and Lily were friends as little. Today they are married and think about the children. And Barney? He would never get involved with anyone. And last year, he fell in love. And me? I was chasing a girl, convinced she was right. Today it is one of my best friends. And you? 5 years ago, you would never put love before your career, but now you did it.

Robin: Seems like I become more and more stupid.

Ted: Just more courageous. We all looked for the 5 lookalikes.But eventually, over time, we all become our own doubles.These completely different people who look exactly like us. The "Robin, there was 5 years"? This girl was pretty cool. Robin lookalike? She's great. (They are close) We drank a lot.

Robin: I do not care.

(They are about to kiss when Robin laughs.)

Ted: What? I forgot, I'm blond. I have blonde hair.

Ted (2030): And here's how my hair bleached prevented us from doing anything that would have regretted. Children, the world is fun.

4 months later... Lily meets a dead ringer for Barney merchant.Lily enters MacLaren's where she met Barney, Ted, Marshall and Robin.

Lily: Yes! You're there! This is fantastic!

Barney: Calm down. Your husband is here. Trying to hide it, at least.

Lily: The friends, follow me! (They leave) Look! The fifth double.

Barney: This guy looks like me...

Marshall: Guys... Play the game

Ted (2030): Children, you can ask the universe all the signs of the world...

Marshall: It's amazing.

Lily: Is not it?

Robin: It looks like Barney.

Ted: Amazing.

Barney: It's like looking in a mirror.

Ted (2030): But ultimately, we see only what we want to see, when you're ready to see it.

Marshall: Does that mean...?

Lily: Marshall Eriksen... put a baby in my belly.

(They kiss.)

(END)