09x18 - Rabid

[bunniefuu]

[Vehicle approaching]

Pardon me.

[Beep]

Next stop, 27th and Leighton.

Next stop, Greenfield and leighton.

Next stop, Greenfield and Leighton.

Good night.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, miss.

Uh, you--you forgot this.

Oh.

Thank you.

I'm Russell.

Hi.

What's your name?

Gloria.

Gloria. That's pretty.

Thanks again.

Bye.

[Cell phone plays "Flight of the Valkyries"]

[Sighs]

Hi, Mom.

How you feeling?

Ok, mom, I'll see you first thing tomorrow.

No, I will not forget the orange juice.

All right, I love you, too.

Goodbye.

[Sighs]

Whoa!

[Dog barking]

Pain in the ass.

Sit down.

Don't mind him.

He's hungry is all.

You, uh, you spare any change?

Uh, no, I'm sorry, I don't have-- would--would you like a banana?

Banana?

Yeah.

Here you go.

[Barking]

No, no, no!

Stop! Let me go!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

[Panting]

Oy.

8:49.

Good God, that's not even close.

Why does it have to be such a fast mile?

Have you ever even had to run a mile in the field?

No.

I'm not even in the field.

I sit at a computer on my perfect posterior, like all day.

Maybe we should ask Morgan for help.

No.

But he has really good abs.

Yes, he does.

But it's bad enough some bureaucrat is making us take this stupid test.

The last thing we need is Mr. Universe talking smack the whole time.

But he knows about all this stuff.

He can probably, like.

[Panting]

Teach us some tricks, help us train.

Yes, but he takes it way too seriously.

I worked out with him once.

You work out?

That's cool.

Yeah.

I don't.

In a non-traditional manner and never again with him.

He was all, "there you go, baby girl.

Move it or lose it.

"This ain't your high-tech room.

My grandmama can move better than that."

He can be enthusiastic at times.

That's a way of saying it.

But, no, me and you, we can do this.

Me and you, we got it.

A couple more laps.

Ok? Here we go.

We got this. We got it.

1!

2!

1!

[Cell phone beeping]

2. Let's do it.

Hallelujah.

What?

We have a case?

Yep.

Thank God.

Race you to the bleachers.

We don't need him!

I'm just gonna have a heart att*ck really quick.

Ok.

All right.

Come on.

Oh, God. Ok.

[Groaning]

You ok?

Yeah, why?

'Cause you got a little gimp in your giddy-up.

Uh, it's these shoes.

Beauty knows no pain.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute.

What are you doing?

Do I smell bengay?

Maybe. I had an active evening with Sam.

I'm ready, sir.

All right, let's get started.

Oh, great.

[Exhales]

Ok. So, this morning, a Wisconsin park ranger discovered 3 partially buried bodies in a forest preserve just outside Milwaukee.

Two male and one female.

He doesn't appear to have a gender preference.

Decomposed. They weren't all k*lled at the same time.

And that is why I call you eagle eye.

Preliminary M. E. reports they'd each been k*lled about a month apart.

The most recent victim, Susan Clark, has been dead approximately two weeks.

28-year-old exotic dancer and prost*tute.

High-risk lifestyle.

What about the other two?

I haven't I. D.'d them yet.

'Cause of death?

Still working on that, too.

Looks like they were all covered in bite marks.

From the unsub?

Probably from critters out in the woods.

He m*rder*d them months apart but buried them all in the exact same spot.

The disposal site's obviously important to him.

Susan Clark was reported missing 6 weeks ago.

There were long-term ligature marks on her wrists and ankles.

He holds them c*ptive before he kills them.

But what exactly is he holding them for?

That's what we need to find out.

Wheels up in 30.

[Door unlocks and opens]

[Dog barking]

[Footsteps approaching]

[Dog barking]

No! No! No! No!

Ok! Oh! Ohh...

[Dog continues barking]

Please! Stop!

[Gasping]

Please let me go.

[Groaning]

Drink. You don't want to get dehydrated yet.

What?

Hey, come back, please?

Sir!

Come back!

[Dog barking]

What are you doing?!

[Barking]

Come back!

♪ Criminal Minds 9x18 ♪

Rabid
Original air date on March 12, 2014

♪

Reid: "It is more important "to know what sort of person has a disease than to know what sort of disease a person has."

Hippocrates.

My friends in an airplane, don't say I'm not a giver.

I have I. D.'d the first two victims.

Coming to your tablets now.

First up, Milwaukee resident Melvin Lewis 50-year-old divorce and truck driver.

Next we have Rudy Hightower, a 32-year-old homeless Iraq w*r veteran.

Two caucasians and an African-American.

This guy doesn't have a racial preference either.

There's still no connection between the victims.

Maybe there is no connection.

They could be targets of opportunity.

And that means it's not about who he kills, it's about how he kills them.

Or what he does before or after he kills them.

Garcia, they determine the cause of death yet?

Negative.

Each one of them was single and lived alone.

Maybe he keyed in on that knowing that they wouldn't be reported missing.

Well, he'd have to stalk them long enough to know that.

Dave, you and Reid go to the coroner's office, Blake and I will coordinate with local P. D., and, JJ, I want you and Morgan at the disposal site.

It took us almost two hours to get out here.

That's with you driving, too.

We passed another forest preserve and a whole lot of space on the way.

There's plenty of spots to dispose of bodies, so why put all 3 right here?

Well, it's isolated.

That's good for him.

Yeah, he may come out here to relive his handiwork.

Well, there's no evidence to suggest that he k*lled the victims here.

So he does his thing someplace else and this is just the disposal site?

Well, he obviously has a vehicle, most likely a truck or a van.

That's risky for him, transporting the bodies all that distance.

More chances for him to get caught.

And it's a lot of work, too.

You can't drive to this spot.

It's gotta be, what, 300 yards from here to the road.

You know, we could be close to where's he's keeping them hostage.

Either that or it's something about this place. But what?

Well, if it is about the location, at least maybe we disrupted him.

Now he can't come back here.

Well, hopefully we can get to him before he tries to.

Sorry about the wait.

We were collecting tissue and organ samples to send to the lab.

Here's my report.

You able to determine the cause of death?

Cardiac arrest, all 3 of them.

What caused their hearts to stop?

That's why we're sending the organ samples.

Tox reports?

All negative.

Any sign of sexual as*ault?

Inconclusive.

They're too decomposed.

What about the bite marks?

Yeah. About 90% of them are postmortem, from animals out in the woods-- a coyote, fox, maybe, or a raccoon.

And the other 10%?

That's where it gets weird.

They all had antemortem bites, too.

The first victim, Melvin Lewis, his were animal bites, but the others--

They were bitten by a human.

M. E.: Pretty viciously, too.

Some of the wounds are deep.

Chunks of flesh are missing.

We found several.

Total of 11?

You read fast.

Were you able to obtain DNA samples from any of the bites?

No.

It could be a form of t*rture, maybe a biting fetish.

Didn't know there was such a thing.

Oh, you'd be surprised.

We should also consider cannibalism.

When you get a moment, would you mind taking some bite molds for us?

Maybe that's why he holds them c*ptive first.

If he's feeding on them, I'd lay odds he's already got his next victim.

Considering the specificity of the M. O., the body count, and the timeline, I'd say those odds are actually pretty good.

Hey.

Woman: Which one of you took it, huh?

Hello?

Man: Hey.

Get me out of here.

Please help me!

I'm can't.

I'm locked in, too.

How long have you been here?

[Woman crying]

Hello?!

Woman: I'll eat you.

I'll eat your face off.

[Barking]

I'll eat you alive!

Sir? Excuse me, sir.

[Shouting, dog barking]

Woman: Shut up!

[Woman screaming]

What are you--

[screaming]

Hey, hey, hey!

What are you doing?!

I'll eat you alive!

Get away from me!

No, no, no! Aah!

Ok....

[Chains rattling, dog barking]

Eat.

You'll need your strength.

[Dog continues barking]

[Door closes]

Reid: Oh, yeah.

[Grunts]

What's with you? You ok?

Yeah, I'm great. I'm just doing some stretching because it helps me keep my brain limber.

I've also been doing some geo-profiling.

The red markers indicate where the victims lived, except, of course, Rudy Hightower, who was homeless.

The blue markers indicate where they were last seen alive.

And this is the disposal site.

So that's his hunting zone.

Which means he probably lives close by.

Ok, so something's not adding up for me here.

Here you go.

Thanks.

If we are dealing with a cannibal, why does he dispose of the bodies?

Why not keep them?

Well, it's not easy to keep a body fresh.

Maybe he doesn't have the resources.

Maybe he doesn't require large portions of flesh to satiate his urges.

Most ritual cannibalism involves the consumption of particular organs as a means to commune with the deceased.

But none of the victims were missing any organs.

Which means it's probably not about the ritual but about the compulsion.

I don't know. He grabs them, he holds them c*ptive, and then he buries them all in the exact same spot.

And how do we explain the first victim, Melvin Lewis?

He didn't have any human bite marks.

Sir, no, no, no! Hey!

No. Please--please listen.

You don't even know me, ok?

Ok. Ok, ok.

[Screaming]

[Electrical zapping]

If you try to fight or run, you get the stick.

Ok! Ok. Ok.

[Zapping]

Aah! Uhh!

On your stomach!

Ok. Ok.

Don't move!

I'm not! I'm not.

Aah! That's too tight!

It hurts.

It hurts. Please.

Help! Help! Please!

Please. Aah!

Aah!

Please...

Please!

Please, please...

[Groans] Ok, ok...

What are you--what are you-- what is this? Huh?

Talk to me!

Will you please just talk to me?

Just tell me what's going on.

What are you doing?!

[Groaning]

Please!

Hey!

[Footsteps]

[Shuffling, rough breathing]

Is somebody there?

I can hear you breathing.

[Screaming]

[Ring]

What you got, sweetness?

Mama's hands are dirty 'cause she's been digging.

I got the 4-1-1 on our first victim, Melvin Lewis.

Originally from the Malibu of the Midwest, Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

Melvin moved to Milwaukee 12 years ago when wifey ran away with his best friend.

Ouch.

Yeah. Luckily they had no kids.

No criminal record.

Like super squeaky clean.

Not even a parking ticket.

He joined Facebook a year ago.

He has a whopping 6 friends, all from work.

He drives a truck, right?

Yeah. A milk truck, to be exact.

But only did that for a month.

Before, he worked for 10 years at an animal control center, but he was laid off due to budget cuts.

What exactly did he do, Garcia?

He was a dogcatcher.

But like a S. W. A. T. team of dogcatchers.

He specialized in dangerous and trapped animals, including but not limited to skunks, a raccoon, and one time a giant python.

All right, thanks, babe.

That could be it.

What, the python?

No, bite marks.

Of course.

That could be how he was doing it.

That's why it was undetectable.

Brain tissue, we need to look at brain tissue--

Ok, Reid--

Sorry.

I don't think this is a biting fetish or cannibalism.

I think it's a virus, and the biting is merely a means of transmission.

What kind of virus?

There are several possibilities.

Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, tick-borne encephalitis, but the most likely culprit is rabies, and that wouldn't show up in an autopsy except in brain tissue.

So since Lewis was the only victim not bitten by a human, the unsub must have used an animal to infect him first.

And after that, he somehow facilitated human to human transmission.

That would explain the random victimology.

It doesn't matter who he infects.

All he needs is a host.

Which also means the holding period isn't about t*rture, it's about incubation.

I was att*cked by a rabid fox once.

sh*t the thing 3 times before it went down.

Freakin' terrifying.

It was like a horror movie.

Yikes. We need to have the M. E. test for rabies vectors in the brain samples.

And then we need to deliver the profile.

Based on the demographics of the area, we believe that we're looking for a Caucasian male in his mid-20s to late 30s.

We just received confirmation from the coroner's office that each of the victims d*ed from rabies.

Two of the victims sustained significant human bite wounds, and dental records confirm that those bite wounds came from other victims.

Which means that somehow or another, he's facilitating biting att*cks.

We think he's a sadist who gets off on watching the att*cks.

He may record them so he can relive the event over and over again.

Rabies has been around since the beginning of documented history.

It has the highest case to mortality rate in existence and is arguably the deadliest disease known to man.

It's derived from a sanskrit word meaning "to do v*olence."

Carriers literally go stark raving mad.

Uh, I thought there's a vaccine for it.

There is, but the post-exposure prophylaxis is only effective if administered within 24 hours of infection.

Once the symptoms appear, the prognosis is death.

[Grunting]

Get off! Get off! Aah!

It's also contagious, so it's at great risk to himself that he's chosen this method to k*ll.

Which means it holds special significance to him.

He may have lost a pet or even a relative to the virus.

It is not easy to obtain a sample of the virus.

We think he most likely started with an animal.

So he may have worked at a veterinary clinic, maybe a pest control company.

[Screaming]

Hotch: What he's doing takes deliberation and patience and is rooted in a need-based desire, so he's not going to stop on his own.

Thank you.

Aah. Aah!

Aah!

Chris Blythewood, 21-year-old college student, and Liz Foley, 42-year-old stay at home mom.

The only two people reported missing for the last month within a 10-mile radius of the hunting zone.

Pretty good chance the unsub's holding at least one of them.

So I went through the list of vet offices and animal control employees, and nada.

Everybody's clean.

Guys, I've been doing some math.

Based on the estimated time of death and when the victims were last seen alive, it appears as though the first victim, Melvin Lewis, was held for a couple of months.

The second victim, Rudy Hightower, for one month, the third victim, Susan Clark, for only a couple of weeks.

So why is he taking progressively less time with these victims?

He's getting more efficient?

He may have found a way to shorten the incubation period.

And how would he do that?

Rabies att*cks the nervous system.

It travels a few millimeters a day until it reaches the brain.

But if you were to infect the area around the head of the neck, the distance would be shortened.

He may be some kind of symphoraphiliac.

And instead of setting a fire or causing an accident and watching the ensuing mayhem, he just wants to watch them die.

A rabies death is apparently quite the spectacle.

There are convulsions, spasms, then the madness sets in, along with uncontrollable salivation, which accounts for the foaming a the mouth we all associate with the disease.

That sounds terrible.

It is.

And one of the cruelest ironies of all is the extreme dehydration caused by hydrophobia.

Victims have a visceral fear response to liquid of any sort.

Add to that confusion, hallucinations, and you can probably imagine the horror.

[Dog barking]

[Rapid breathing]

[Fast-forwards video]

[Beep]

Please let me go.

My kids...

[Fast-forwarding]

We have money.

You know, if you call my husband, he'll do whatever you say.

We have a good--we're fine.

We--he'll do whatever you say!

He'll do whatever you say!

Please!

Please!

[Gags]

[Fast-forwarding]

Get away!

Get out!

Get it away from me!

[Moans]

Come here.

[Grunting]

Come here.

All right, now, come here.

Out of the way.

Get it off of me!

Uh! Get off of me!

No! Aah!

Morgan: Give it to me, Dollface.

Do you know that over 50,000 people die of rabies every year in third-world countries?

Thank God for monsieur Pasteur, otherwise we'd all be dead.

Ok, so I looked into every known case of rabies exposure in the country over the last 20 years.

Did you find anything?

Cool your jets, hot chocolate.

I will let you know if I've got something.

So I've got something.

15 years ago, in a town called Two Rivers, Wisconsin, a 9-year-old, Hunter Cunningham, was admitted to the hospital with severe flu-like symptoms.

Symptoms get worse, he develops hydrophobia.

Turns out that 3 weeks prior, he was bitten by a bat when he was out camping with his family.

Two Rivers is less than a 2-hour drive from here, and it's even closer to the disposal site.

A bat. That's odd.

Actually, bats make up 12% of Wisconsin's mammalian population, and they're responsible for the majority of the infections in the U. S.

Baby girl, what's so special about this Hunter Cunningham kid?

Here's what's special.

A week after he was admitted to the hospital, he checked out of the hospital.

But I can't find a death certificate.

It's like he disappeared.

What about his family?

Uh, his father Patrick d*ed 6 years ago of a massive heart att*ck.

And mom, Wanda, works as a bartender at the Tropicana hotel in Vegas.

JJ: Any siblings?

Yes, affirmative.

One older brother, David Wade Cunningham, 28-year-old resident of Hawaii.

And what's his deal?

His deal is...

Ay, chihuahua.

He works at Nassee Pest Control, which specializes in dangerous animal removal, and you don't even have to ask me, home and work address sent--bam!

[Gasping, muttering]

How are you feeling?

Why are you doing this?

You cold?

Yes.

That's from the fever.

Please just let me go.

Please? Please just let me go?

I won't tell anyone anything.

I swear. Just let me go, please.

Mom. My mom.

I have to talk to my mom.

[Crying]

To my mom, please.

She just had heart surgery.

I have to. Have to.

No, no, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I just...

Just let me go.

Just let me go.

No, no, please, don't go.

Please come back.

Please, just come back.

Please!

[Grunting]

No! No! No!

[Grunting]

Please don't hurt me.

Please!

[Grunting]

No!

[Breathing hard]

You got to get out of here.

Aah!

Wait! Cut me loose!

Cut me loose! Please!

No, come back!

It's clear here.

Clear.

Clear.

He's not here.

I think it's safe to say this guy's single and not in a relationship.

Guys, look at this.

I don't know, you think we got the right guy?

[Indistinct police radio]

All right, thanks, baby girl.

This Cunningham guy got fired from his last two pest control jobs.

Probably for stealing equipment.

You know, I bet that's how he acquired his first sample of the rabies virus, on his job.

The acquisition of the virus may have been the trigger itself.

It's worth mentioning, the only known rabies survival story that didn't involve the vaccine happened right here in Milwaukee.

A 15-year-old girl survived the virus when doctors put her in a medically induced coma.

You think it's connected to this?

Based on the sheer proximity, it's possible, but given the lengths to which the unsub goes to infect his victims, I think it's unlikely.

Hey, look what I found.

It was hidden really well in his closet.

He did not want anyone finding it and I think I know why.

Boy: Please! Let me go!

I feel sick.

I really gotta go to the bathroom!

I gotta go!

[Groaning]

Man: Hunter, look at me.

Buddy, it's gonna be ok.

David, what are you doing here? Get out of here!

Turn that damn thing off.

1999--that was the year his brother Hunter got rabies.

By the time they got him to the hospital, there was nothing the doctors could do.

It's possible the parents brought him home to die instead.

And then his big brother David recorded the whole thing.

He was 12 at the time.

That's an impressionable age for a single event imprint.

It clearly unlocked some sort of psychopathic fascination that he's still trying to satisfy.

I can't imagine watching my own son die, let alone from rabies.

It almost makes you consider euthanasia.

I'm not saying I would advocate euthanizing Henry or anything. I'm just--

No, Spence, that's it.

That's why Garcia couldn't find a death certificate for Hunter Cunningham.

Because his parents must have done it.

They couldn't bear to watch, so they put him out of his misery.

[Door unlocks and opens]

Where is she?

Gone.

When?

When?!

I don't know.

But I hope she goes straight to the cops and they fry your ass.

She'll be dead soon.

And so will you.

Well, why don't you go ahead and k*ll me, then, huh?

Why don't you just do it!

What are you waiting for?!

Yeah, do it, you sick son of a bitch!

k*ll me! k*ll me!

k*ll me!

[Spits]

k*ll me!

Never gonna happen.

Devon's got ballet at 3:00 and I gotta pick will up at sports camp.

What's she got goin' on?

Small soy chai latte for Michelle.

That's me. Thank you.

I just--I don't know how we're gonna make it work.

Unless Eydi can pick will up.

Where is she?!

Ma'am, is everything ok?

Where is she? Hmm? Tell me.

Whoa.

Give it back.

Now!

Lady, you need to leave.

What do you want?!

Nothing.

You want something, whore?

[Screaming]

Get off! Get her off me!

Get off!

Large cap, extra foam.

You want something?

Thanks.

I'm good.

You know that forest preserve he used as a dump site?

There's a campground.

It's only a half hour from where David Cunningham grew up.

He probably went there all the time when he was a kid.

We should probably search the area.

The body of the brother might be buried there, too.

Were we able to reach their mother in Vegas?

She's on vacation in Thailand.

We left a message on her cell.

[Cell phone rings]

Go ahead, Garcia.

Sir, another missing persons report just popped up.

25-year-old grad student Russell Holmes.

You send us the info yet?

Si, senor.

Mom reported it.

She went in for heart surgery, he never showed up to visit.

All right, thanks.

A 911 call just came in.

Some woman who's apparently foaming at the mouth is attacking people in a coffee shop.

Dispatcher: All units be advised, suspect is on foot and was last seen headed north at the intersection of Marshall and East Lyon.

I think Morgan's closer.

Got it, Hotch.

Marshall and East Lyon.

We're on our way.

Hang on, guys.

Where is she?!

Where is she?!

Aah!

Hey, come on!

Jan, let's go!

Where is she?!

Give her back?!

Give her back!

Aah!

I'm gonna circle around the block.

Wait. There.

I think that's Liz Foley from the missing persons report.

[Siren]

No, no, no.

[People screaming]

Aah!

There's too many people.

Move everybody out while I get her attention.

FBI! Come on, we need to clear everyone out.

Let's go! Let's go.

Liz Foley! I need you to stop right there.

Ma'am, I need you to stay back.

You don't tell me what to do, I tell you what to do!

Ma'am, I said stop now!

You need to listen to me. Stop right now!

I tell you--

[shouting in background]

Aah! [Grunting]

[Wailing]

[Siren]

Her family's been notified.

They're gonna meet her at the hospital.

There's nothing they can do for her, huh?

Comfort measures, but that's about it.

Rossi: Thanks, officer.

We can't be far from where he's holding them hostage.

She was on foot.

But in her state, how in God's name did she escape?

Reid, where are we in relation to his hunting ground?

Right in the middle of it.

[Ring]

At your service, sir.

Garcia, we're trying to figure out what kind of building or property the unsub might be using.

What do you see in a 5-mile radius of our current position?

A lot of stuff.

What am I looking for?

Anything relatively isolated or industrial.

Uh, it's mostly residential, single-family homes, apartment buildings, stuff like that.

What about abandoned properties?

Not per se, but people don't usually give notice when they do that.

Let me see if there's any condemned.

No, nothing.

What about properties for sale?

Let's see, 1, 2, 6 homes for sale.

All of them occupied.

An apartment building for sale, also occupied.

It looks like the city is selling some land.

What's there?

Uh, hold yourself.

It is a...

Hello.

It's an animal shelter, but it's shut down due to budget cuts.

That's could be it, Garcia.

Send the address.

Done and done.

Please be careful.

[Moaning]

Hey!

Where are you?

I know you're in here.

I can hear you.

No...

[Moaning and screaming]

Russell: I'm sick!

I need to go to the bathroom!

Hunter: Please!

Please?

Hunter: Let me go!

Let me go.

I feel sick.

I really gotta go to the bathroom.

Please!

Please!

I gotta go!

I gotta go!

Remember what I told you before.

Yes.

Repeat it.

If I run or fight, I get the stick.

Go ahead.

[Dog barking]

All right.

S. W. A. T.'s still 5 minutes out.

All right, we can't wait.

We'll go in in two groups.

We'll go in this door, you guys take the west door down the alley.

Let's go.

[Barking]

Lay back down.

What are you doing?

I said lay down!

Ok.

[Indistinct]

[Screaming]

[Zapping]

Ooh!

David Wade Cunningham, FBI!

[Russell gasping]

JJ, you got him?

Go!

Wait, ok. Please help me, please, please.

We have the entire place is surrounded.

You might as well come out.

David?

Aah! Aah!

[Zapping]

Aah!

Aah!

Ohh!

Aah!

Ohh!

Nice tackle, kid.

Thanks. I've been working out a little bit.

Thanks, man.

Pretty boy.

I hope they didn't mess up that face too bad.

You know that's your best asset.

Luckily just some superficial nicks and bruises.

How are you doing?

I just got a couple burns, but I'll be all right.

Found another body at the disposal site.

Hunter Cunningham?

Well, we're still awaiting DNA confirmation, but they're the skeletal remains of a 9-year-old boy, So...

It's gotta be him.

You guys ready to get out of here?

Yes, please.

I can't stand hospitals.

It's something about the lighting.

Who's Rossi talking to?

The Foley family.

She slipped into a coma.

It won't be long now.

Excuse me, agents?

Um, the doctors, they said that I'm gonna be ok.

And I...

I just--I don't know how to thank you guys.

No, there's no need.

Just get better.

Ok.

[Groans]

You think they'll really terminate us if we can't run fast enough?

Probably something worse.

They'll probably make us take another fit test.

I'd rather be terminated.

I just hope the P. T.

Instructor isn't a jerk.

Those jock guys are always such jerks.

Yeah, total jerks.

That's probably him right now.

Oh, look. He's totally walking like a jerk.

Yeah, it's a total jerk walk.

Total jerk walk.

Wait a minute.

Wait, I think it's Morgan.

Yeah.

Oh, my God, it is.

Why are you here?

It looks like I'm your new P. T. instructor.

Watkins got sick, so today's your lucky day.

I'm your guy.

[Chuckles]

Awesome. That's awesome.

Guys, guys, come on.

Seriously, you should have just said something.

This whole fit test thing is just a formality.

I could've got the whole thing waived.

[Chuckles]

But since you didn't, you ready to do this?

Yeah, let's do this!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Uh, hey, hey, hey.

Happy-go-Luckys, where are you going?

To run the mile.

No, no, no.

You didn't hear?

The fit test is more than just a mile.

Get your little butts back over here.

[Music plays]

Come on, let's go, all the way down, all the way up.

Come on! My grandmama can do way better than that.

Let's go! This is not your high-tech room.

♪ Bumba dumba dum bum bum bum ♪

On our toes, right on your toes.

There you go, baby girl, that's sweet.

Go, girl, you know it.

Turn around, right back down.

[Panting]

Hey, hey, hey.

What are we doin'?

What's all this huffin' and puffin'?

Come on, we still got a 2-mile run to go. Let's go!

Two miles?

It's supposed to be one mile.

No, no, no.

Not on my watch.

This whole fit test is altogether different.

Now suck it up!

Oh, my God.

Let's go!

[Laughs]

All right, all right, all right.

Enough is enough.

I guess I gotta let the cat out of the bag.

I kind of already had your fit test waived.

What?

Yeah. Baby girl, think about it.

You're not even in the field.

And pretty Ricky, you already got enough case hours to qualify.

This was just a good time for me.

I'm gonna k*ll him.

If I can manage to lift my arms, I'll hold him down.

I'm regaining my strength.

I told you you should have said something.

I said--hey--uh, hey-- oh, oh!

I'll k*ll you!

Morgan: "Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil."

Baltasar Gracian.

I'm gonna k*ll you, too!

I'm gonna k*ll you!

You like that?