05x01 - Give Peace a Chance

[bunniefuu]

(buzzer ringing)

Jail used to be so f*cking cool and now it is big-time f*cked up.

Jail f*cking sucks.

I hate it in here.

Thank f*ck we're getting out today.

I don't think I could take one more day of this.

I never liked jail, but, you know, I don't wanna dis the guys that are in here, 'cause it's still pretty cool, but I've been here too many times and, you know, the thrill's gone.

There's hardly any drinking here anymore.

You can't get good dope.

And they banned smoking from the f*cking boys.

Took smoking away from us. That's f*cked.

Once I quit smoking, you gotta find stuff to do, so I gotta play sports.

But all they let you do is play f*cking bagmitten.

Ricky's been losing his mind in here, with the no-cigarette policy so I knew I had to introduce him to something new to take his mind off it, so I taught him how to play badminton.

Bagmitten f*ckin' really sucks, but Bubbles loves it, , and I play with him, try to keep his mind off stuff 'cause he's having a tough time in here.

Crank her.

Nice - point.

Ricky?

Just a sec, buddy.

I'm caught.

Reading books got me through this stretch.

I mean, you know, you got self-help books, books on nature, books on wilderness.

Like, check out that f*cking bear.

You know, he's got that salmon. I'm kind of like the salmon.

I'm like the guy that swims upstream, right And you know, I'm trying to avoid these f*ckers, I so, you know, I take what I learned in jail and I go home and, you know, I just try to survive.

Tonight I am getting so f*cking drunk and smoking so much goddamned dope and cigarettes, it's gonna be awesome.

The first thing I'm gonna do, I'm gonna k*ll Jim Lahey.

(music)

I know the boys are getting out any day now and I'm really not looking forward to it.

You know, things have been really nice around here.

I've been off, uh, alcohol for about a month and I'm looking forward to introducing the new Jim Lahey to the boys.

The gentle Jim Lahey.

One thing's for sure, the time he spent in the mental hospital, really helped him. I've never seen him more positive.

Randy.

And I feel awful, all the trouble I caused the boys over the last couple of years. Especially Ricky.

I'm gonna find Lahey, I'm gonna grab him by his drunk little throat and f*cking start strangling him and tell him off, that f*cking sonofab*tch.

Today's a special day.

I mean, we own Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

Corey and Trevor pulled this together for us.

Friendship, trust and reliability is what made this all happen Corey and Trevor can get on your nerves, but when it comes right down to it, I'm proud of them. They came through for us.

Now we're set for the rest of our lives.

We've been dreading this day for so long. I mean, Ricky's gonna get out of jail soon and we f*cked up and we let Ricky down and Julian down and we let ourselves down.

It's not anyone's fault.

We were just doing what we were told and Barb Lahey f*cked us. That's what happened.

Did I take the money from Corey and Trevor? Technically. But if I have to steal dirty old drug money to save the park and get myself out of the sh*t that Ricky got me into, well then so be it.

We signed all these papers and stuff and none of it was real., - It was really easy. I took an old car-lease agreement got 'em to sign it. They thought it was the deed to the park.

They're not too bright.

No one considers how we feel about all of this, like how we feel about anything.

Like, we don't want things to go downhill.

We don't wanna lose our friends, our families.

And this is all we've got.

We spent the money on a couple of things, but, really, like, I think we were kind of owed, you knows We went through a lot of sh*t over the last couple of year and I got, like, 7,500 bucks and you got like, what, five grand or something?

Yeah, something like that.

But you know where most of the money went Corey and Trevor gave me nine grand to produce one track on the new album, dawg.

For real, know what I'm saying? That's cheap.

That's family rate, dawg.

Yeah, man.

Ricky and Julian are suppose to be getting out of jail today.

It's gonna cause some problems in the park.

But, oh, well, what can you do?

Man, come on, Corey and Trevor gave us the money.

We ain't gonna ask them where it came from.

We're taking care of business for real.

If Ricky gets out the joint, come up to my house looking for some candy, I'm not saying, know what I'm saying?

(whistle blowing)

I'll try to get you guys some hash if I can, okay?

...on the outside.

See ya later.

Appreciate it.

Earl, man, thanks.

See ya, Lonnie.

You guys gotta get smoking back here. This is bullshit.

No f*cking way, you got us a lemonzine?

Yes, I did, Rick.

God, this is awesome. Check out this bar, boys.

This is decent, boys.

Julian, get rid of that glass right now. Look at these.

Ah, thanks, Ricky.

It's official, boys. We're retired now.

This is how rich people live, boys.

No, Bubs, this is how we live now, buddy This is luxury. All we're missing is smokes.

Where's the money? When do we get the money?

I gotta buy some smokes here, Julian, and dope -

Chill out, Ricky, chill out.

I left instructions with Corey and Trevor to put all lot fees in the safe underneath my trailer, buddy Soon you're going to be buying smokes by the carton, bud.

I don't mean to sound like a d*ck, it's just, we're gonna have the biggest party in the history of Sunnyvale tonight.

I need smokes and f*cking dope This booze is great, but I need to get stoned.

Boys, I don't want to sound f*cked or anything, but I love you guys.

I love you guys, too.

I wanna make a toast.

To retirement.

To success.

There's something we're forgetting about here.

Corey and Trevor. They never let us down.

To f*cking Corey and Trevor.

To Corey and Trevor.

Can we stop and get some dope?

I know guys that'll give it to me on credit.

Who?

Terry.

Ah, f*ck, not that d*ck, Ricky.

Boys, please, not Terry and Dennis.

Dennis is f*cked, but Terry's not that bad.

Terry and Dennis are a couple of brothers Ricky knows.

They're both f*cked in the head, if you ask me.

They still live with their grandmother and..

I went to reform school with Terry and Dennis.

They're great f*cking guys. I love good dope.

If I don't have any, I go to Terry.

He's always got good dope, in large quantities, like harbour drops... And I've always wanted to work with them, but Julian always shuts it down.

I think he's jealous.

It's just not my scene.

You go in there and it's really greasy and they're always sitting around baked, playing video games.

You can see their units hanging out every time we're there and you've gotta go through the whole routine of pretending you like being there, talking to them, when you know you just want to get your dope and get out of there.

I don't like Terry and Dennis for one simple reason: they use their own grandmother as cover.

Julian, can we hurry the f*ck up here, please?

Ricky, Ricky, I'm trying to talk here.

I mean, they make a shitload of money and the cops never think about f*cking with them, but who wants to go to a house to buy dope and be greeted by a grandmother?

That's pretty f*cking greasy, if you ask me.

Ricky!

I've got things to do here I need smokes.

You do that again, Ricky, you're gonna see what happens.

They're driving around in this Monte Carlo, thinking they're cool and sh*t. The car's okay and everything, but the f*cking rims they got on that car, they're whacked You'd never see me driving around in that f*cking thing What?

I'm not trying to be a d*ck, I need to get smokes. I wanna get stoned.

Let's get going here. I've got things to do.

What's up with Victor? How long does it take a man to piss Come on, Julian.

You have to be the one to say let's go, or he's just going to keep pissing all day.

Come on, cut your piss off. Stop pissing.

We gotta get going.

Hope they're home, boys.

Oh, yeah, me too.

Oh, Ricky.

This is Julian. This is Bubbles.

(speaking Japanese)

Hi there.

This way.

Hey, Dennis.

Hey, Ricky, man.

How's it going?

Good, bro.

Good to see you. Bubbles.

Hey, Dennis.

Julian. How's it going?

What's going on, boys?, Listen, you got any weed or hash you could front me set me up big-time for a party tonight?

Ricky, you just walked in here, man. You know?

A little hang time would be nice, you know?

Yeah, yeah, that's cool. Yeah.

So, watch any good movies lately?

Saw The Director's Cut. That was f*cking awesome.

Ricky, it was Blade Runner, the Director's Cut.

That's not the name of the movie.

It was good, though.

It was a good f*cking movie.

Somebody synched up Dark Side of the Moon and the Wizard of Oz in there. That was pretty neat, I guess.

Yeah. I heard you need to be stoned -

Dennis! Dennis, what the f*ck is going on here?

Jesus.

Terry, would you do me a f*cking favour and just chill out a little bit? Everything's under control This is a bad f*cking day for this sh*t to be happening.

We got lots of f*cking work to do.

(speaking Japanese)

f*ck, just chill out a little bit.

You guys drove up here in a f*cking limousine?!

Yeah, man. Isn't that awesome, man?

Omigod! I can't f*cking believe it Boys, you guys should've parked a few blocks away.

Guys, we're rich now. That's the way we roll.

It's not a big deal.

Why don't we just put a sign in front of the house: "We sell f*cking hash here"?

Terry. Terry!

Why don't we just call the f*cking cops?!

Ichiban, m*therf*cker, yo?!

Julian... (speaking Japanese)

Wh-what'd he just say about me?

Julian, just sit down. It's just some family business Don't worry about it. Just sit down.

Julian, just sit down.

I don't feel like it.

Can you guys put some pants on or something? You're gonna walk into my grandmother's house and talk about my package?

Well, your packages are hanging out right in front of us!

Don't worry about our packages!

Worry about your own, Ricky!

Anyway, guys, we need some hash, or weed. Whatever you have.

We got tons of hash. Don't worry about that.

Just a bit tonight for the party and then I'm gonna start buying a shitload.

I own a trailer park now. I'm gonna need, like, keys We got enough hash to go to jail for 20 years But we won't ever get caught.

Give me a break, Dennis.

Why don't you take out an ad in the f*cking newspaper?

Jesus Christ!

Julian, put it down.

Boys?! For fucksakes!

(shouting)

f*ck, don't point -

Don't point your f*cking hand at me!

(shouting)

...our grandmother! (speaking Japanese)

You don't touch another man's g*n!

Sit down!

Sit the f*ck down.

You guys are out of control.

Guys, I'm sorry about that.

We're not small-time anymore We're dealing with major quantities of hash now.

You can't just come in here with your crew and f*cking act like this.

Sorry Terry.

f*ck, I thought we were cool, man.

If our partner came in now, he'd freak. Holy f*ck.

Can you set me up with a bit of hash and some keys down the road or what?

Listen, Ricky, we've got your back like always.

But we're just gonna wait till our partner shows up and we'll just talk about it with him, alright?

Who's your partner? Do I know the guy?

Oh, he's a f*cking cool guy. You'll like him.

Old-school m*therf*cker, man. He knows how to do it properly f*ck. Oh, there he is right now.

We're in trouble now. You're in f*cking trouble.

What are you talking about Just wait. You're in f*cking trouble.

It's f*cking Cyrus.

Cyrus?! What?!

What, you guys know Cyrus?

What the f*ck's with the limo? You got celebrities in there I f*cking told you, Dennis. I f*cking told you.

I'll f*cking straighten this out.

What the f*ck are you doing with Cyrus?

What are you doing? No, don't.

Don't worry about it, Bubbles.

Would you guys mind f*cking explaining that to me?

Holy f*ck.

Oh, ho, ho!

If Charlie sh*t a billy goat, look who it is.

What the f*ck are these guys doing here when we got a f*cking deal going down, in the next couple of days?

Cyrus, I told him not to but he just opened up the f*cking door and said "Hey, everybody, just mooch my hash."

Ah, f*ck off, Terry!

f*ck, I can't believe this Listen, Cyrus, relax, alright, you d*ck?

We just got out of jail. We're leaving.

We don't want any trouble, alright?

Trouble?

(g*nshots)

Like that kind of f*cking trouble?

Boys, put the g*ns down or someone's going to get caught!

Okay, Dennis, I'll just open up the door and call the cops!

Maybe I'll call the cops !

f*cking assh*le!

Who the f*ck is looking after the hash, boys?

both: Our grandmother.

Get the f*ck in there and look after the hash. Jesus Sorry, Cyrus.

Just calm down.

Give me those f*cking g*ns, too, boys.

I gave those to Terry and Dennis for their birthday.

Guess what. This is my g*n now, so f*ck off.

You f*ck off.

No, you f*ck off.

Cyrus, you f*ck off first, then we'll f*ck off.

Ricky, just everybody, we'll all f*ck off at the same time.

Calm down.

I'm not f*cking off.

I guess we're at a f*cking standstill, then, aren't we?

I know how to fix that.

How?

f*ck off.

f*cking d*ck.

Look, boys, just... Cyrus... Calm down, boys. Back up.

Cyrus, you just get in your car, everything's fine, we're leaving. We don't want any trouble.

Boys, but the g*ns down. Put 'em down.

Omigod.

Great. Nice plan, Ricky.

How the f*ck are we gonna get home now, huh?

Maybe Terry'll drive us in the Monte Carlo now.

f*ck, check out those rims I'm not getting in this piece of sh*t, Rick.

Well, how the f*ck do you want to get home?

Boys, did you have to go f*cking with Cyrus?

I mean, was that necessary? Watch it, Ricky!

(g*nsh*t)

Ricky!

Jesus, get that out of my cab!

Sorry about that.

Look, no big deal a bit of body fuel, alright?

Holy f*ck, boys, check it out.

Look at the f*cking driveway ! It's paved!

The money's inside. Right back.

Holy f*ck. Corey and Trevor, boys - what can you say about them? New flowers...

This is really luxury parking. Look at this, Bubs.

Yeah.

Wonder what they did for me and you.

Boys, my shed's gone!

It's gone! It's gone!

The lot-fee money.

Corey and Trevor.

We gotta run the cab. We got no f*cking money now.

Alright. Let's go to Ray's. Hide out there.

My shed!

Go. Go, go.

Dad, get the f*ck out here ! We got out early, buddy!

C'mere!

Boys, there's my shed!

Ricky, how come your dad's got my shed?

I dunno, buddy.

Holy sweet flying f*ck.

Holy f*ck is right.

Is he ever on the booze!

(bottles rattling)

(bottles breaking)

It's a "liquorlanche."

Hey, boys! Boys, hey!

Holy f*ck, Dad! How you doing, buddy?

Hey, buddy.

Good to see you, man.

We got out early.

Great to see you, man.

f*ck, you're looking great Can I help you?

Well, I'm not sure.

I picked up these three guys. One of them lives here.

They didn't pay me yet. Said they'd be back, though.

Lives here?

Yeah, that's what they said.

That's where Randy and I live.

Oh, sh*t, man.

Let me guess. One of them was wearing thick glasses, one of them was extra-stupid and the third guy was holding a drink and wearing a sexy black T-shirt.

You know them?

Let's just say I wouldn't expect to get paid today, bud.

Hey, boys, come on in and have a seat, fellas.

Check it out. What do you think?

Place looks good, Dad.

Huh, pretty good, eh?

Got all kinds of spending money now., Making a f*cking shitload on the video lottery terminals don't mind f*cking telling you.

Nice.

Ray, Ray, cut the sh*t. What the f*ck is going on here f*ck, boys, I dunno how to tell you this.

Julian...

Lahey and Randy bought your trailer, buddy They own it.

Randy and Lahey bought my trailer?

What the f*ck are you talking about?

Barb moved into the supervisor's trailer, so we had to get our own place.

Julian's trailer, it then came up for sale.

It was auctioned under the "proceeds of crime," so we bought it.

I just love having our own place.

This place is 100% ours - legally.

I gotta explain it to you, alright?

You wanna hear this?

I can't wait to hear this.

It's kind of complicated.

Kind of f*cking complicated?

Yeah. Corey and Trevor f*cked you guys over big-time.

That's what's going on. They f*cked you over big-time.

They lo... They took all your money.

It's all gone. You don't own the park.

Everything's f*cking gone. They took everything, boys Dad...

I dunno if I'm understanding you right here, but you're saying Corey and Trevor, they f*cked up Yeah.

(g*n cocking)

Corey-Trevor, I dunno where the f*ck you guys are, but you are f*cking dead!

(g*nsh*t) Both of you, f*cking dead!

(tires squealing)

Oh, look who's finally home from jail.

Where the f*ck are Corey and Trevor?

Nice to see you too, Ricky Corey-Trevor, get out here now!

Hi, Dad!

Hey, sweetie.

Hey.

Good to see you.

You dunno where Corey and Trevor are, do you?

'Cause I gotta talk to those guys really, really badly.

I think they went to J-Roc's trap.

Oh, they're rapping now, are they?

I think.

Mm.

Well, you stay here, 'cause I wanna see you., I missed you in jail and stuff but I gotta go really talk to Corey and Trevor right now.

Don't I, Sarah?

Trinity, inside.

You know what, Ricky? If you know what's good for you, you'll stay the f*ck away from Corey and Trevor.

Well, I don't know what's good for me, Sarah.

So what's gonna happen? What's gonna happen?

I know what's gonna happen.

Yeah, so do I.

This song is good, but we actually have one on this record, too., We're Ice Halen. We kind of make a guest appearance 'cause we kind of produced the record.

You can hear us in the chorus if you listen real close.

Corey and Trevor, f*cking go on, boy.

Hey, your name's Mahogany, right?

Here you go, baby girl, know what I'm saying?

This here's my joint, know what I'm saying?

Trailer-park life, y'all. A'ight.

Turn the music off, J-Roc! This is shut down!

What the f*ck you talking about, inflatable Elvis?

You can't say nothing till 11:00, mothafucker.

Ah, it's Ricky!

Well, look who it f*cking is ! I'll deal with you in a second Corey-Trevor, get the f*ck out here now!

How you doing, boy?

My f*cking problem is those two dicks right there.

What the f*ck are you doing in my trailer?

Relax, Julian. Relax.

Don't push me, Randy.

It was the last one available, Julian.

We bought it fair and square. (siren wailing)

What the f*ck do you mean, fair and square?

Ricky, hide that. I don't believe it.

What the f*ck do you guys want?

I got no problem with you. I've got a problem with those two assholes ther and two guys inside the trailer.

Would one of your problems be looking for Corey and Trevor?

Maybe it is. What business is that of yours, turtlecock Oh, you like turtles, do you This is what business it is of mine.

You know what a Peace Bond is?

What the f*ck is this legal-paper bull?

f*cking word papers!

That's pretty good, Rick Now, if you could read, you'd see that it states that you can't come within 50 feet of Corey or Trevor If you do and I hear about it, jail time, Rick.

Just by coming within 50 feet. I'll be happy to enforce it.

Well, see, there's a little problem here. 'Cause I called you guys and this is supposed to say that they can't come within 50 feet of me because -

Yeah, I'm not George Greene, Rick.

What you're saying is bullshit and we both know it.

Because I can see right through you.

Right through to the other side.

Corey, Trevor, come on down here.

Little f*ckers.

Ricky!

It's okay, boys. It's okay You're not under arrest.

You guys f*cked up.

I'm gonna stay 50 feet away, not 'cause of this sh*t.

'Cause you just lost a best friend.

Relax, Ricky. Relax. We were tight, boys.

I wanted to get really drunk with you guys tonight, but you blew it!

After all I f*cking did for you guys! Huh?

Dude, we're sorry!

Sarah set it all up, Ricky We didn't mean to do it. Sorry. Here, have a cigarette.

I'd love a cigarette, but I can't come within 50 feet, remember? (both): We're really sorry We're sorry, dude.

You f*cking wait, boys!

I'm not happy about this, I'll tell you that right now Jim.

You're shaking hands with him?

He's f*cking out of his f*cking g*dd*mn mind.

He tried to k*ll me. D'you forget about that?

You're worried about little Police Bonds against me Watch it, Rick.

f*ck.

Ricky, you're pushing it. Pushing your luck.

Don't think for a second you're keeping that trailer, Jim.

Actually, Julian, we bought that trailer so no one else would.

I'll sell it back to you for what we paid for it, plus an administration fee. 7,200 bucks total.

We're trying to do you a favour, bud.

Mr. Lahey?

Randy, it's okay.

I know what I'm doing, bud.

Do we now, Mr. Lahey?

What with the going crazy and strapping dynamite to yourself?

I've waited a long f*cking time for this, Lahey.

You tried to f*cking k*ll me with a g*n to my head and you've been f*cking with me for years.

So listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm about to tell you off like never before.

I understand, Ricky.

I deserve it. Sorry to interrupt.

What?

I deserve it, Rick.

I spent a lot of time contemplating things, when I was in the mental.. . when I was in the hospital and, uh, I realize that...

I was in the wrong with you guys.

100% culpability. It was my fault and I'm sorry.

Oh, you're f*cking sorry, are you?

What do you want me to do, play a big song on the magdolin?

You're f*cking sorry. Bullshit, you're sorry.

Ricky, above everyone else, I've been waiting to say to you personally that I am sorry.

I lost it, bud.

So whatever you have to say, go ahead.

I deserve it, let her rip.

Well, you do deserve it.

I was thinking about it in jail a lot.

Basically, I was just gonna... f*cking... f*ck, f*ck.

Ricky, Julian.

I quit drinking.

It's been two months. Not a drop.

He has, boys. He's been doing great.

I've never seen him better in my whole life.

He's a changed man.

You're sober?

I don't think so, Jim.

What was I thinking?

Trying to use your little mind tricks on me, eh, Lahey f*ck you, Lahey, and f*ck you, Randy.

Boys, let's go try to get drunk somewhere, I guess.

Come on.

He'll come around, Mr. Lahey Yeah, Rand. They will come around.

(distorted music)

♪ Hey your name Blaine right ♪
♪ Hook a m*therf*cker up with some bass ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ How many times have you sat out on the deck ♪
♪ Getting wrecked waitin' to collect a check ♪
♪ Knowin that's as good ♪
♪ As life is ever gonna get ♪
♪ The park it's in your blood ♪
♪ It's in your sweat ♪
♪ Debts doubts bets bouts of insanity ♪
♪ Is it society or just vanity ♪
♪ That makes me be the man that I plan to be ♪
♪ Instead I can't see the forest right in front of me ♪
♪ For the trees it's a social disease ♪
♪ And all them other MCs are on my back like fleas ♪
♪ Please J to the ROC ♪
♪ It's so hard your getting royalties from me ♪
♪ They're gonna come get me ♪
♪ Steal a whole album worth of samples ♪
♪ 'Cause they let me ♪
♪ Stole a diamond ring to make my girl my wife ♪
♪ Wife that's trailer park life ♪