02x24 - Back To Summer

[bunniefuu]

(Crow caws)

Frankie: Throughout humankind, man has celebrated the culmination of a long, harrowing journey by planting a flag, to say you climbed that Mountain, achieved the unachievable, made it through another school year.

It's summer!

And you bought a tiki torch. Yep.

This is gonna transform our backyard into an island paradise. Well, if we're going for paradise, we're probably gonna want to fish that dead possum out of the pool.

(Sighs) We made it, Mike.

Only four days till the end of school.

After all those forms and field trips and homework and Ms. Rinsky... (Sighs)

We deserve this tiki torch.

(Southern accent) It is time to get our summer on! Ooh!

Not so fast.

Summer's not officially on till my graduation on Friday, when you watch me accept my special award, presented by the principal in front of everyone. Aah!

Oh, honey.

Well, you certainly earned it.

Boy, did she earn it. Sue'd set her sights on the perfect attendance award years ago, and nothing was gonna make her miss a day of school.

Here.

(Gags)

(Sneezes)

(Thud)

I did it. I put myself and countless others at risk, but it was worth it!

We're very proud.

(Squirt)

Hi, Ms. Jacobs. I wanted to talk to you about--

Are you a new student? No. I'm Sue. Sue Heck.

I bring the lunch money report in to you every morning from the main office. I say, "hi, Ms. Jacobs.

Everything's here," and then I give you a little wave.

Really? Huh.

So anyway, I wanted to talk to you about my perfect attendance award. Oh, honey, I'm sorry, but no one's getting that perfect attendance award this year. Nobody earned it.

Yes, somebody earned it. I earned it.

My attendance was perfect.

(Typing on keyboard)

Oh, I see the problem.

You were absent on October 13th.

You're not gonna get anything at the ceremony, but you should still congratulate yourself.

I spend my whole life congratulating myself.

I want other people to congratulate me.

Sorry. Next.

No one else is here.

I know. Nice meeting you.

Paradise, huh?

(Chuckles) Wow, Brick. Can you believe it?

Only a couple more days till you're a fourth grader.

Yeah, I'm not sure that's gonna happen.

What?

Apparently, I missed some sort of journal assignment, and if I don't turn it in, I'm not necessarily moving up to fourth grade.

Damn it, Brick! How does this keep happening?

You're the smartest kid I know, and every year we got to wonder whether you're gonna make it to the next grade!

I know it's frustrating. I kept thinking I was gonna do it, but then I just didn't. I blame myself partly.

I blame yourself all-of-ly. Now you're gonna go, and you're gonna find out what's required, and you're gonna get it done.

We are not spending another year with Ms. Rinsky!

(Crow caws)

I hope you know you have sent me to the dumbest school in the world!

Seemed like a good fit.

(Scoffs) So I didn't do my community service--

You know, like, helping poor people or whatever--

And if I don't get my 30 hours done by Friday, they're saying I'll flunk civics, and we'll have to pay for some stupid class I have to take in the summer! And you're just telling us now?

Why didn't you do the assignment?

Because... It shouldn't be an assignment!

They're forcing me to help people against my will!

I don't know. Doesn't that seem like communism or something?

Did I use that right? As much as I'd love to join in on your w*r on community service, you're doing it.

Ugh!

Mom!

Oh, come on!

The school thinks I was absent October 13th.

They said I didn't earn the perfect attendance award.

We have to find documentation. We have to prove I was there!

(Footsteps recede)

(Sighs)

Here you go. Oh...

Eh, don't bother. We're a long way from summer.

(Sighs)

(Bell rings) You know the old saying--

"Never buy a tiki torch before its time."

That isn't really a saying, but trust me, don't do it.

Oh, um, Ms. Rinsky, quick question.

About the assignment I'm scheduled to hand in on Friday--

You didn't do it. Oh, no, I did it.

I just want to double-check that I did it correctly.

So, uh, just to confirm, on the... monthly journal?

Daily.

Yes, daily-- Uh, that's what I meant--journal that I did, I assume by "daily," you meant I was supposed to write in it every day?

That's right. Every day.

'Cause that's exactly what I did.

Now remind your mommy that it's due on Friday, and when I say Friday, I mean Friday.

No need. We are totally on top of it.

We're doomed.

(Whispers) Doomed.

Don't you say that.

We got three days to tiki torch, and you are getting it done.

But I can only remember the days I wasn't in the me of a book.

What did I do on September 8th?

That was the first day of school, and after school, we...

(Groans) I don't know. You know, maybe it would be easier if we start with holidays.

Thanksgiving-- There was turkey, and... someone was over.

Wait. Did we go to Janet's? No. Yes?

Wow. I should be able to remember this.

What was wrong with me?

I mean, I used to have a great memory, but lately...

(Sighs) I know I came in here for something.

Hello?

Wait. Sorry. Who did I just call? (Sighs)

Mike, this is really important--

Hang on a sec.

Okay, what?

(Sighs) Thanks. Now I don't remember.

What were we talking about again?

How you don't remember anything.

Right.

God! I've been looking at pamphlets for a whole hour.

That should count as one of my hours right there.

29 more to go. Whoo!

Stop screwing around and pick something.

Tons of good options here. Helping out at a nursing home.

No.

Planting trees. No!

Nothing sad, nothing hard, nothing gross.

How about washing--

Unless that ends in "hot chicks" that's a definite "no."

Hey, I could help people who can't play video games, like, if they don't have thumbs or something. Oh. Hey, look at that. They have that right here.

Really?

No, not really, you idiot. Come on.

You got 20 waking hours to do 30 hours of community service.

I'm picking for you.

Here. "Meals that heal" and "time with tots." Done.

Or I could just stay in my room and jam and come up with an awesome song that'll make the whole world happy.

The world's been through enough. Make the call.

(Sighs)

(Groans)

What are you doing up?

What are you doing up?

I can't sleep.

Not allowed to sleep.

Hey, isn't that mom's frosting?

I need it a lot more than she does right now.

(Squirts)

So how are you doing?

I'm up to December, and I'm realizing from the things that I'm remembering, that we spend an awful lot of time watching TV.

Wait a minute. You did October?

Do you have any idea what happened on October 13th?

Let me check. "Went to library. Someone checked out 'the pelican brief' and never returned it. I wonder if it was me. Axl called Sue a big tomato 'cause of her dorky red shirt."

Oh, my God. You remember I was wearing red?

Like I said, on days without books, my recall is very good.

If I was wearing red, it means I went to the orthodontist, 'cause I'm a gum-bleeder and red hides the gum blood.

So I must have been late to school, and they must have gotten mixed up and marked me as absent!

All I need is a note from the orthodontist, and I'm in!

(Bell rings) Oh, hon, this just says that you went to the orthodontist.

That doesn't mean that you came to school after.

But I did. As a matter of fact, after I get my braces tightened, my teeth always hurt, so I remember going to the nurse to get an ibuprofin.

Well, I guess if you could get the nurse to vouch for the--

Do you remember on February 16th, you took Arlo and me to get ice cream, but you forgot your wallet?

Who was that friend who lent you the money?

I don't know, Brick. I don't remember any of it.

I'm standing here with a ball of twine in my hand, and I don't even know why.

Look, Rinsky's not gonna read every page, so you just need to start making stuff up. I don't want to lie.

You think the kids in your class are stupid now?

Wait till you're in a class with kids a year younger than you.

"Today I went skydiving."

(Whispers) Yeah.

Hey, nurse Fahler.

Hi. Are you a new student?

No. I'm Sue. Sue Heck? I need to prove I was here October 13th.

I was in a red shirt 'cause my gums bleed, and Allison Scott me in at the same time--

Oh, I love Allison Scott. She's a spark plug, isn't she?

Yeah, she is. So anyway--

You know it's her birthday next week?

We're not that close. So anyway, she had really bad cramps, so you asked if I could get her purse for her from the band room. Well, I remember Allison getting the purse, but for the life of me, I can't remember how.

I just told you how. I brought it from the band room!

(Gasps) Band teacher!

Axl? How great is this? I got the "time with tots" kids putting meals together for the hungry shut-ins.

I'm racking up double hours here. I mean...

Hey, tito! Keep your head in the game.

You forgot to put an orange in that one.

(Scoffs) All right, that's it.

I'm shutting this sweatshop down. But I can't pack these boxes myself.

And what about the tots? I'm their role model.

Well, then, life dealt 'em a bad hand again.

Now start reading to these boys.

And then when you're done, you can pack boxes yourself, alone.

(Groans) God! This is so unfair!

Ugh! You kids are lucky you don't have dads.

(Exhales deeply)

Mr. Stevenson.

I'm sorry, and you are...

Sue. Sue Heck.

And what do you play? I don't play anything.

I'm the future perfect attendance award recipient.

But only if you can prove I was here on October 13th.

See, I went to the orthodonist and I'm a gum-bleeder, so I went to the school nurse, and then Allison Scott came in--

Oh! Allison Scott! Great girl.

Yeah, she's awesome. Anyway, so she left band practice, so I had to come in and get her purse.

Now that you say it, I do remember someone disrupting our practice.

We were getting ready for our fall concert...

That's right, and you were taping it.

You were taping your rehearsal! (Gasps)

Mr. Stevenson, please, tell me you have that tape!

Stop! I have evidence! I have a tape!

(Band playing march)

Excuse me. I'm here to get Allison Scott's purse.

Oh, sorry. Just squeezing by.

Excuse me.

Ooh.

Ooh, ooh, excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me.

(Keys jingle)

(Grunts)

(Thud, clatter)

(Music stops)

(Cymbal crashes)

You guys sound really good!

(Click)

See? See? I was here.

October 13, 2010.

Sue Heck was in the house!

Uh, congratulations?

(Gasps) Aah!

(Exhales deeply)

Okay. What are we up to?

April.

April. Okay, good, here.

I'll do the 1st, you do the 2nd, you do the 3rd.

Okay... April, April, April, April in Paris, April...

Showers.

Good. "It rained today. Splashed in puddles. What fun."

I wouldn't say, "what fun."

Well, you're saying it now.

Hey, wasn't easter in April?

Oh, good. Yes, easter. Okay, what did we do for easter?

Oh, nice job, mom. You forgot to do easter.

You owe me a pound of jelly beans and a ham.

sh**t! And wasn't there some birthday in April, too?

Uh, yeah. Jesus.

That's Christmas, and the birthday was mine.

Oh. Damn. Happy Birthday. (Chuckles)

I'll write about how we took dad to a pacers game to celebrate.

Thanks, buddy. I would have enjoyed that.

"Today I wrote a letter to president Nixon"?

Look, she's not gonna read them. We just have to get it done.

If you don't like it, erase Nixon and put in another president.

I'm so excited about tomorrow, I can't sleep.

Okay, so for graduation, which makes me look prettier?

God. I'm so tired, I can't even insult you. (Gasps) Hey.

Is that a community service-- If I don't insult Sue?

(Yawning) I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

Unh-unh. No. You cannot go to bed.

This is your fault. I bought a tiki torch.

I was this close. If anyone needs sleep, it's me.

I've got about an ounce of memory left in my head.

You did this. You did this to me, and you know what?

You're gonna pay. I am gonna make you pay. Okay. All right.

Mom needs a little break, little cooling down time.

Mike, he did. He did it, Mike. This is his fault. I know.

Just little, teeny break. You'll feel better in the morning.

But I didn't. It was the last leg of our race to summer, and I didn't know if Mike or I had the energy to pull it off.

Okay, we got to keep moving. Where's our next drop-off?

Uh... 3105 Brook.

Brook Avenue or Brook street?

I don't know. It just says Brook!

Well, you got to get these addresses right, Axl.

We don't have time to be driving down every Brook in town.

Then why you slowing down?

I'm not slowing down.

Aw, damn it! We're out of gas!

Great! Now the light comes on.

Hurry up. We're almost there.

I'm up to may 24th.

Um, okay. Just say... Your great aunts--

That was yesterday, mom. I can remember yesterday.

Good, 'cause I can't.

(Cell phone rings)

Hello?

Frankie, we got six more meals to deliver, but we ran out of gas. I need you to come pick us up.

Can't. We got to get to Rinsky's to drop off the notebook, 'cause she's only gonna be there till 3:00, and we can't be late for graduation. You got to figure it out.

Call me after Rinsky.

It will be summer someday, right, Mike?

You had to buy the tiki torch.

Well...

This is awesome. Way to go, dad.

Don't you start. You knew you had community service.

Why didn't you say something three months ago?

'Cause whenever I tell you anything, you always bite my head off! You ways think I do everything wrong!

Why would I think that? Maybe it's 'cause thanks to you, I'm driving around with 50 chicken parmesans on the day of Sue's graduation. See?! You never say anything nice to me.

You always act like I screw up. All I know is, I got two jobs while I go to school, I never miss a sports practice, I took that weird wizard girl to prom!

I do plenty of good stuff.

(Sighs) You really think that-- That I don't say anything nice to you?

(Sighs) I don't know.

Sometimes.

Yeah, well...

You, kids, are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Really?

You must have a really sucky life.

Yes, I do.

Oh, Ms. Rinsky, thank God you're still here. Oh, darn.

I forgot your teacher's gift at home on the thing.

I'll send it over the summer. Anyway, here's Brick's journal.

He didn't bring it in because we're rushing to his sister's graduation, so it's been a great year. Thanks for everything.

Not so fast, mommy. Let me just have a look-see and make sure that everything's all here.

Have a seat.

So you hosted a boy from Japan. Oh, that must have been fun.

Yeah, was a great year, lots of memories. So I should be--

Interesting how his handwriting progressed throughout the year, then declined...

Then progressed again.

He, uh, writes different, you know, depending on the day.

(Chuckles) You know Brick.

What would you say was your favorite part of April?

Disneyland on the 8th...

(Gasps) Paris on the 9th, and this morning's entry...

"In the car, trying to finish my journal I've been writing the last two days because I didn't do my assignment like I was supposed to."

I don't think you need to read the rest--

"'Cause mom says Ms. Rinsky's too lazy to read the whole thing."

Please! Please, let us move up.

We didn't go to France, but we're good people.

We're so close to the end. I have a tiki torch!

Calm down, mommy.

Brick's going to the fourth grade.

He is?

I like Brick. He makes me laugh.

I wouldn't mind having him for another year.

But you?

Not for a million bucks.

Ohh!

Thank you! Thank you so much.

One more thing.

Brick is your youngest, right?

Oh, yeah. You are in the clear.

Okay. Okay, you take the one on oak street, I'll take the one on Elm.

(Cell phone rings)

Ugh! (Panting)

Hello? Mike?

We finished with Rinsky.

Brick is going to the fourth grade. Where are you guys?

Uh, Elm street. I'm almost done with the deliveries.

Then we got to go home and shower.

No shower. You smell fine. I'm on my way to you now.

And I'll call Nancy Donahue to tell her to save us some seats.

Crap. Can't find my phone. Damn it! I must have left it in Rinsky's room. Now I got to go back, and she hates me, but I don't want it locked up for the summer, but now we're definitely gonna be late!

Frankie, look in your hand.

Okay, I found it. I'm on Elm street. Where are you?

I'm at the last house!

Okay, done! I'm done! Where are ya?

Oh! I see you!

Hurry up, hurry up! Come on! Get in, get in!

Let's go, let's go! Axl, come on!

Brick: We're over here, Axl! Come on!

(Tires screech)

Graduation from junior high is an important milestone.

As you parents sit out there, I know your hearts are filled with mixed emotion.

Ohh. We made it. (Laughs) We did it. We're here.

It seems like just yesterday they were in kindergarten, and then last week, you turned in the forms to register them for high school.

Forms? Oh, crap! You didn't happen to turn in the--

Seriously, you got to see somebody.

We have a very special achievement to honor.

There is one student who has never missed a single day of school, one student who, simply by showing up, has demonstrated incredible determination and commitment.

Trust me when I say it is rare that I find a student with this much perseverance.

So please join me in honoring this amazing accomplishment and this amazing student.

This was it, the moment she'd been waiting for, the moment Sue'd finally get the recognition she deserved.

Our perfect attendance award recipient--

Barb Heckie.

No! Aw, man.

This can't happen! They can't do this to her!

She's gonna be crushed!

(Laughs)

But she wasn't.

(Laughing)

(Laughs) I know.

(Laughing)

Then it hit me.

I may not remember exactly what happened on November 14th or March 12th, or whether I left the car running in the parking lot right now...

But the point is, these are the moments you remember.

♪

(Blows air)

Yay! Way to go, Barb! (Laughs)

We love you, Barb Heckie! Way to go, Barb!

We love you, Barb! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

(Thud)

(Sighs) We made it.

'Course we did. (Click)

We're Heckies.

(Sighs)

Hmm.

(Sighs)

(Sighs)

Wow.

This must be what Hawaii is like.

Yep. We've got the whole summer in front of us.

I'm bored.