03x01 - Adapting to Change

[bunniefuu]

[kids laughing]

[chattering]

This way.

[chattering continues]

Mjolnir to me!

Hulk smash!

What are you guys doing, running away?

You're scared?

Hulk not scared of anything.

Rah!

Rah!

Hulk, look out behind you!

[imitating g*nf*re]

Hey, Avengers...

Aassemble!

Don't tell Hulk what to do.

[grunts]

[crash]

[grunting]

Whoa!

[grunts]

[car alarm blaring]

[grunting]

That all you got, Goliath?

[glass shattering]

[alarm blaring]

Is that Captain America?

So what? He's only one guy.

He's no match for the Masters of Evil.

Interesting choice of name.

How does one become a Master of Evil?

Lots of practice.

[screaming]

[grunting]

We're gonna take out Captain America. We'll be rich and famous.

[screaming]

[grunting]

You must be the chatty one.

[grunts]

Aw. All alone, Cap? You used to run in a group.

What's the name of that team again?

[groans]

[grunts]

[screaming]

[grunting]

You know exactly who they were. Avengers!

Assemble.

[growls]

I can't believe you called us for this.

Nice to see you too, Iron Man.

I didn't say it wasn't nice to see you.

I just can't believe you called us for this.

[screaming]

Stop screaming, Mimi.

[coughing]

Nice sh*t, Hawkeye.

Yeah, I know.

[grunts]

[coughing]

Gonna knock you out of the sky.

Uh-oh. Whoa!

[grunting]

Falcon, you might wanna duck.

Yeah.

[car alarm blaring]

[grunts]

Black Widow just took out Beetle.

Then step back and watch Thor take out the rest.

[screams]

[growls]

Aahh!

[growling]

[chattering]

Puny tall man! Hulk smash!

[grunting]

Hulk, I think he's had enough.

But I ain't done punching! So who wants to be next?

[blows] It's been several weeks since we've met at the tower like this.

Oh-ho-ho. You missed hanging out with me.

It's okay. You can admit it.

We haven't had reason to meet. We b*at Red Skull, Thanos, Ultron.

What big threats are left?

That's why Ant-Man went solo again.

That's why we canceled our Avengers expansion plans.

I still think we should be meeting more often.

But why? Each of us are heroes with our own jobs, our own lives, our own problems to deal with.

No joke. Smashing can be a full-time job.

Point is, since there's nothing threatening the world right now, I'm gonna adjourn the...

Friday, do we have a gavel?

female voice: You do now.

This is Friday. She's the new A.I.

Friday, everybody. Everybody, Friday.

Then until next time, whenever that is, gavel me.

[clacks]

Gentlemen, a word.

Uh-oh.

Widow's got that "something bad's about to go down" look.

The Masters of Evil may be tied into my current top-secret op.

I could use your help.

Ooh. "Top-secret op." Sounds exciting.

You want in?

No. I've got my own top-secret thing.

You go have fun.

Falcon: What do you got, Widow?

For the past month, I've been investigating AIM.

Advanced Idea Mechanics. Secret organization.

Top evil scientists in the world.

AIM has been stealing high-tech gear from all over the world, then hoarding it in a hidden underground base.

You have an infiltration plan?

We're gonna walk in the front door.

Hmm?

[footsteps approaching]

Huh?

[thud]

[whirring]

Black Widow: Now!

Huh?

What's going on?

[grunting]

She wasn't talking to you. She was talking to us.

Sorry about the confusion.

"Sorry about the confusion"?

They're AIM agents. You don't have to be nice to them.

They're letting us borrow their uniforms.

Least we could do is be polite.

[sighs]

Black Widow: AIM's stash of stolen tech.

Falcon: There's no rhyme or reason to any of this.

I don't get it.

Captain America: We're not alone.

Try to play it cool.

Or not!

[grunting]

[grunting]

Hawkeye? Are you kidding me?

[grunts]

Ohh! Ow!

Natasha?

[grunting]

[grunts]

Captain?

How'd you know it was me?

That's my roundhouse kick, and the only person I taught it to was you.

Thor: Ha! Avengers assembled.

Even if we didn't plan to assemble.

Falcon: But what about that guy?

Wait! Falcon, stop!

No, no. Don't do that.

That's no AIM agent.

That's Hulk.

Uh, hey, guys.

Falcon: Bruce?

Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you without the green and the muscles, and the angry.

Honest mistake.

Just please try not to do that again.

I can't believe you followed me.

I didn't follow you.

For your information, I'm on my own mission.

To investigate AIM's new mystery leader.

Calls himself the "Scientist Supreme."

Natasha asked you two to come with her and help?

Hmph! She didn't ask us. Hawkeye invited us. Why didn't she?

The three of us have S.H.I.E.L.D. training.

Widow wanted a team that would be inconspicuous undercover.

Hey, I can be inconspicuous... when I'm not green.

You and I were both embedded in AIM and neither of us knew?

We've been spending too much time apart.

Left hand doesn't know what the right hand's doing.

man over PA: Science soldiers of AIM, this is your Scientist Supreme.

I will be addressing the troops in the laboratory in five minutes.

Attendance is mandatory.

The Scientist Supreme.

We find him, we find out why AIM is stealing super tech.

Falcon: Guys, gonna wanna see this.

I've hacked into AIM's development projects.

There's a list of tech they've stolen, including this.

Ultron? How did they get their hands on a piece of Ultron?

Stay calm. We'll get to the bottom of this, Tony.

Easy for you to say.

You're not the one responsible for him. I am.

Come on.

Let's go hear what the Scientist Supreme has to say.

man: As your Scientist Supreme, I see all.

I see a new Advanced Idea Mechanics.

More ambitious, ruthless.

Standing on the precipice of greatness.

I see AIM and the universe and our place within the vast singularity.

Stark: That's the leader of AIM? Doesn't seem dangerous.

Seems more like a...

Thor: Like a weirdo.

I see the future, and the future is now.

Behold the Adaptoids.

They didn't just steal the Adaptoid, they built three of them.

We have improved the Adaptoid technology.

Now they can copy any powers within close proximity.

They are picking up gamma rays. But from where?

Would it appear we have guests among us?

Uh-oh.

What?

How could it be?

Captain America: Our cover's been blown.

Okay, Avengers. It's time to, you know.

And the Adaptoids have adapted.

Indeed. I see a new future... one without Avengers.

Adaptoids, att*ck!

[grunts]

Avengers, move!

[grunts]

Adaptoids don't merely duplicate our powers, they copy our strength!

Bruce: I don't believe what I'm seeing.

AIM's somehow managed to upgrade both the complex internal adaptors and the external structural integrity at the same time.

If we get out of this alive, maybe we can ask them how they did it.

But look. They're not preprogrammed.

They're somehow copying our powers on the fly in real time.

Bruce, we don't need you to analyze. We need you to get mad.

No. No! The Adaptoids will...

Ow!

That hurts, and hurt makes me mad!

[roaring]

Oh. That's what Bruce meant.

[grunting]

Oh, gee, that's my thing!

[roaring]

[groans]

With the Avengers here, I see we need to move up our schedule. This way.

The Adaptoids copy our powers in close proximity, so we need to split up.

Quit talking and go.

[grunts]

Now it only has our powers. b*ating it won't be as...

[grunts]

You were saying?

Maybe I was wrong.

What am I talking about?

I'm never wrong.

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Tony!

[grunts]

[grunts]

Sorry, Cap. My bad.

[grunts]

[grunts]

We're out of synch.

Too much time apart.

We'll have to catch up. Away from here.

[grunting]

[growling]

[grunting]

[groans]

[yells]

Odin's beard!

[grunting]

Your strength and my strength, and it is still not enough.

Thing is as strong as we are.

[growls]

[grunts]

Hawkeye: Hey, dummy.

I used to have teammates.

[yells, grunts]

[grunting]

Copies of Hawkeye's arrows, my fleshettes and your stingers?

That thing is nothing more than an Avengers' knockoff.

Unless we start working as a team, the knockoffs are gonna b*at the originals.

[grunts]

Tony, give me an atomic drop.

That'll work.

[grunts]

Oh, yeah! Always liked that move.

over PA: This is your leader, your Scientist Supreme.

Adaptoids, move to phase two.

Phase two?

That can't be good.

[grunting]

Rah!

[laughing]

[laughing]

Hey!

Everyone present and accounted for?

Everyone except the Adaptoids.

They're here somewhere.

Fan out and look for any sign of them.

And the Scientist Supreme?

Yeah.

Found him.

Ah, the Avengers.

Phase one testing complete.

Everything is going according to my plan.

To get crushed by the Avengers?

Then let's see your plan all the way to the end.

I am the Scientist Supreme.

I am the future, and I am your destroyer.

Adaptoids, assemble.

With my genius combined with the resources of AIM, we have improved the Adaptoids into something more... the Supreme Adaptoid.

Phase two: destroy the Avengers.

The mind of the Scientist Supreme, with the Adaptoid's ability to copy all our powers.

I don't like what I'm seeing.

Because it looks bad. Very, very bad.

Its energy ratings are off the charts.

Avengers, let's get to work.

I think not.

[grunts]

[grunts]

Yah!

If we need a plan, then I have a plan.

Hulk, wait here.

What do you mean, "Wait here"?

Give us ten seconds. Count to ten, then jump in and smash.

Come, Falcon. Follow my lead!

One, two...

Doh! Nuts to this!

[roaring]

[groans]

What exactly was your plan?

Math makes Hulk angry.

[groans]

[grunting]

Naive fools.

You face the power of the Supreme Adaptoid, augmented by the mind of the Scientist Supreme.

Observe the likes of which you've never seen before!

[Avengers grunting]

Our team's still out of synch.

We're getting schooled by an Adaptoid and AIM?

How is this even happening?

Hmm?

It is not the same Adaptoid and not the same AIM.

You must not become overconfident.

[grunts]

[roars]

[groans]

Right at this moment, I don't think overconfidence is our problem.

[grunting]

Communicate with each other, like a team.

att*ck plan Delta.

Go!

[grunts]

Hulk, take him high!

[growls]

[roaring, grunting]

Thor, take him low!

[yells]

On your left!

The liquid metal. Scan it for a weakness.

It's some weird space-age tech that I know nothing about and have never seen before in my life.

Give me, like, four minutes.

[grunting]

Hey, remember Tokyo?

Why would you bring that up?

The other thing that happened in Tokyo.

Oh! Oh, why didn't you just say so?

[grunts]

Keep it up. Hit him before he can recover.

[grunts]

Scan complete. And what do you know? A weak spot.

We need to hit him when he splits off.

I've modified my concussion rockets.

It'll make the metal unstable just long enough for you guys to blast it off of him.

Falcon, you'll have five seconds to collect it before it returns.

One containment bubble coming up!

[grunts]

[growls]

No!

Yep.

No!

[grunts]

[grunts]

You may have me, but not before I take thousands of innocent lives.

[grunting]

buzzing:

Sorry about that. I'm more of a genius, and I just jammed your frequency.

You should really think about upgrading your system.

[yells]

Uh-oh. Our brawl with the supreme Adaptoid just compromised the structural integrity of the entire AIM base.

If the base collapses, it'll take the whole town with it.

Cap, Hawkeye, Widow, you guys go upstairs and keep those people safe.

The rest of you, with me.

[thud]

Ugh!

[whimpering]

On the count of three. One... Three!

[grunting]

Math still makes me angry.

Falcon, we could use that Adaptoid metal.

To reinforce the damaged beams? Way ahead of you.

I've recalibrated the Unibeam.

[straining]

Hulk, you can let go now.

Oh.

Oh, almost forgot.

[grunts]

That's for zapping me in the butt with an arrow.

It's cool.

I deserve that.

[groans]

Remember how you said we should start meeting on a regular basis again?

I'm starting to think maybe you're right.

It's a big world out there, and there's always another thr*at.

Let them come. The Avengers will be ready.

Huh? No!

Ultron: Will you quit your complaining, so-called Scientist Supreme?

[crying out stops]

That's better.

Your intelligence and Adaptoid body belong to me.

No. It's impossible.

The Ultron revolution begins now.