03x05 - Jolene

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Wynonna Earp...

My master is coming!!

[BULSHAR]: John Henry Holliday. [DOC]: Bulshar.

You will do my bidding.

You're strong, baby girl. Waverly?

Mama. Get out!! Go!!

Michelle Gibson's finally gonna slay her little demon child.

There isn't an evil bone in Michelle Gibson's body. Ah!

The demon's here. Is it me?

Waverly! No, sweetheart.

But she came for you.

[SCREAMING] [WYNONNA]: What would we do without you?

Oh, I bet you'd all just die.

All just die.

We need more rope.

No! We do not have time for this!

She's secure, Wynonna. Okay, one of you is gonna listen.

Either one. I don't give a sh*t which!!

Did she steal your g*n and go full prison break on you?

Go inside if you're not gonna help.

What? No, Waverly, don't go. Don't be alone!

She has friends in the house, Mama, who didn't try to m*rder her multiple times.

No! Please, don't go.

Go!! No! No! Don't go!

Go! Don't go!!

No! Shut up!

[SCREAMING] Waverly!!

Okay, you know what? You are gonna listen to me for two g*dd*mn minutes.

You owe me that, no matter what you think I am.

You get one. Alright. Okay. Okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay. Okay. [PANTING]

A demon has been stalking your sister ever since she was a baby.

By the time she was six, I knew that it wanted to t*rture and k*ll her.

And I knew that it would win.

It's thoughtful of it to let you know.

Forty seconds on the clock.

I was trying to exorcise it when the barn caught fire.

And instead, it became bound to me.

Okay? It has been torturing me ever since for what I've done. It broke me.

That is what you see.

Our family business is k*lling demons.

Why wouldn't you have told us any of that?

Okay. Because you two were children.

You let Waverly come and visit me.

She touched me and she broke the bind.

The demon escaped.

What, and you thought you'd join the party?

Oh! Selfish!

Oh! I could've gone anywhere, but I chose to come and save Waverly.

I know I saw the demon, but where the hell is it?

Where the hell did it go?!!

I know Mama's... a problem.

Baby, soggy crust is a problem.

Your mama is a catastrophe.

Oh, you made cupcakes? Mm-hmm.

For me? Aw. [CHUCKLING]

Mm.

I'd do anything for you.

All you have to do is tell me everything.

Of course. Just like always.

You're family, Jolene. Come here.

Ooh! [GIGGLING] Too tight.

Everything will turn out as it should.

Trust me.

[THEME MUSIC]

♪ 'Cause I gave you all I got to give ♪

♪ I know that ain't no way to live ♪

♪ I told that devil ♪

♪ To take you back ♪

♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪

I just encountered the most bossy woman itching for a drink...

You think I'm a monster for tying up my own mother.

Well, I think the lineage was immediately clear.

The warden and his guards are gonna be here any minute, and I don't know whether to turn Mama in, or soak the barn in kerosene.

She keeps saying there's a demon who wants to k*ll Waverly and it's already here...

Well, she did spend 20 years in a mental institution for being... mental.

Excellent point. Thank you.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, I... baked your fave: snickerdoodle.

[LAUGHING SOFTLY]

Mm. Snickerdoodle.

Good, right?

Jolene has always made the most superior grub.

I'm also an ace lookout.

Oh, you don't have to be on demon duty, Jojo.

I should do it. Oh, honey, if I let that thing hurt any of you...

No. Let me get my boots. I'm on it.

Maybe Michelle isn't lying.

No, I don't think she's lying, I think she's nuts.

Officer Haught and I listened to the therapy-session tapes from prison last night.

I heard three voices.

Mom, therapist... other patient?

An obscene creature, howling so violently that it drowned out all else.

The demon. The demon.

The doctor couldn't hear it. Only your mother.

And then I.

Why could you hear it?

Did you get extra-dimensional hearing aids?

When Dolls sh*t me, when you were not there...

...Wynonna, I went to hell.

Oh, my God. The point is, your sister is in real danger.

Look, I want to believe you. I do. But...

I didn't see a demon here last night.

All I remember was you waving a g*n at me.

You were about three months old.

And you were wailing your baby lungs out, in the middle of the night, and I came in and s... something...

...was floating over your crib, and I went at it with the fireplace poker, and it left.

Sometimes dreams can be like that, right?

Disorienting, when you wake up...

Okay, explain why a dream started appearing in every picture.

Every photo that I took of you, there was this face.

This horror.

And it was behind you and it was blurry, but it was coming and it was getting closer, closer every time.

Can you show me?

No, because I got scared.

And I ripped them all up, because I thought that was gonna fix it.

Jesus Christ. Go get Wynonna out here!

We're wasting time we don't have!

At kindergarten...

At kindergarten, I...

I wouldn't sit next to the story-time mirror, because... because I kept seeing something behind me.

Uh... God.

Teeth. That's what I remember.

Rows and rows and rows of angry teeth.

You saw it. [PANTING]

Oh, you saw it.

[GASPING]

Hey. Oh.

It's cool. I always hated this mug.

This thing hates you.

It hates you more than I thought anything could hate anyone.

And I am so tired.

I'm so tired from fighting it.

If something's coming... you have me now.

Wynonna. And Jolene.

Who the hell's Jolene?

Christ on a cr*cker.

Pie? It's fresh out of my oven.

Morning, miss. You a neighbour?

Sure.

I'm chasin' down an escaped felon.

Oh, I know all about your chasing.

I know how many dr*gs you gave the to the girls on your wing so you didn't have to chase them too fast.

I know which ones you were chasing right into your own private office.

I'm not sure I understand. Thing is, it's fine with me. Sometimes it even made me laugh.

You know, the stupid smallness of it all, of you.

Are you with the Earps? Yes. Finally.

And sweet little Waverly's as good as mine.

It's my party and I'm not gonna let you poop on it.

[GRUNTING] You should've tried the pie.

It might've dulled the pain.

Oh, well. You're gonna be so useful.

[SCREAMING]

This'll be warmer.

John Henry Holliday, ma'am.

I'm, uh...

You're an undead relic from the Old West.

Sure. Why not?

He's Wynonna's... uh...

"Uh..." mean boyfriend?

Oh, boy. I don't like to presume.

Like, a century-plus. Oh, but Waverly's shtupping a cop.

Her name's Nicole.

Whoa. I'd love to talk... about her later. If we live.

You're gonna love her.

Almost as much as we love you, Mama Earp.

Hey, what's all over your apron?

Oh, it's chocolate. Bit of a cream-puff disaster.

[DOC CHUCKLING]

Don't you... remember me, Michelle?

You... you smell familiar. Mm.

Mama!

This is Jolene. My friend since... forever?

Oh, Mama hasn't been here since forever.

No, she abandoned, uh...

No, wait. I... I didn't.

She left... three young girls alone with their alcoholic father.

Oh, no, no, that was because of the demon.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Jolene, we don't have time to talk about this right now.

It's coming. It's strong. And all it wants is Waverly.

Oh, well, the road is pretty clear.

I think the danger has passed.

The Gibson greenhouse, the family farm, it's where Waverly was born.

I'm gonna summon it.

I'll bind it to me. Again.

I'll see you out at the Gibson place.

Oh, I have so much baking to do, I'm not going, and you shouldn't go either.

Well... if the Earps need my p*stol, I'll be there.

This family reunion is... really charged.

I'll keep my counsel.

Wynonna can't waste her energy feeling badly for you because of the thing about you going to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks.

She told you about that?

Yeah, well, I do not require anyone's pity, least of all Wynonna Earp's.

She's too nice to say any of this, but Nona's got a whack-jack mama and a bad-ass demon on her plate.

I mean, does she really need a mortal bartender with half a lung and a probable mood disorder dragging her down?

Well, that is somewhat reductive.

I just wonder how useful you are, you know.

I mean, what have you brought to the table lately?

I don't mean any offence by this.

But have I ever lied to you?

No, I don't recall that you have. No.

Men are so much easier.

I just wish I was there to keep that darn Waverly from doing something stupid.

Well... we can't perform miracles, but I... do my best.

[WYNONNA]: Yeah, you could have a really sweet grow-op in here.

Okay, good... There's a door here and... those doors there.

And there's a skylight, this one.

It could be an entry point.

Mama, can we talk?

Sorry. Ain't that what we've been doin'?

About my real dad.

His... his name was Julian.

Who was he?

He was someone better.

I ran here every time I could escape.

And somehow he knew how to follow.

Where is he?

Where did he go?

Later. None of it's gonna matter if we can't save his daughter.

[SIREN WAILING]

Licence and registration?

And a permit for your cherry light?

Nikki! I was trying to get these to you while they were still warm.

Lemon scones? No poppy seeds.

I know you hate them.

Days of flossing, am I right?

You... you know all of my weaknesses, Jolene.

After you, I'm gonna drop off some fortifying treats to the Earp ladies.

Mm. The homestead? Oh, no, no.

They're off on some typically nutty mission, Wavy, Nona, and their fugitive mamacita.

Oh, am I just dropping all of this on you?

I thought Waves would've at least texted.

It's, uh, not something they always think of.

Including you in their plans?

Speaking of plans, I do have to get going.

I need your girlfriend to finish all of this.

I would do it myself, but, of course, I can't physically harm her and...

What?

Oh, don't worry, doesn't mean we can't have some fun first.

That's it, eat up. Mm.

Oh! There's a little crumb there.

[LAUGHTER]

Mm. Ah...

Jolene? Mm-hmm.

You're free to go.

You tell Waverly and those Earp b*tches I said "hey".

Wait, did I just say...?

Oh, that's right. "b*tches" is dead-on.

You just missed one. [ENGINE STARTING]

If you stand here, you can cover me.

Wait. Where's Mama? [WYNONNA SIGHING]

On top of everything else, we need to be an adult daycare centre?!

[MICHELLE]: I'm outside!

We've gotta get the sonofab*tch here!

[GRUNTING] Ah!!

Ah!! Wah-ah!!

[CRYING OUT]

First in barrel racing, but the second act was roping.

Argh! Back off, demon.

I thought you cut off his head.

It grew back, ugly revenant stylez.

But this time, I brought the deal-breaker.

[g*n COCKING]

Make your peace.

[CHOKING]

Through mime, if necessary.

Oh, my God. We did it. We did... we did it.

We did it! Oh!

He'll never hurt us again, Mama.

Oh. Oh, my God.

He's gone.

Christ, I almost didn't think I was gonna get here without me being dead.

[GHOSTLY VOICE]: Waverly...

Waverly...

Jolene.

What are you doing here?

Your mother set a trap for me.

[WAVERLY GASPING]

You can't make this easy, can you?

You selfish, greedy tumour.

You have taken everything from me.

But you are gonna pay it back!

You'll have to do it yourself, but we can make that happen.

[SCREAMING]

[EXCLAIMING]

Oh!

Wynonna!

Mama!

Jolene?

Oh, Jolene!

Oh, God. Are you okay?!

I... I just came to bring a picnic.

Oh!

She grabbed me.

Don't be mad at her. She's confused, and we're all under so much stress.

Waverly, what the hell is wrong with you?

I...

To whisky! Whoo!

Mm! Ah...

God, I've missed her.

Oh! Oh, and to Jolene!

Oh, that sexy bitch. Madam.

You gonna charge for those cookies?

It's a tasty way to make friends.

Yeah, so's showing your cleavage, and you don't have to do the dishes after.

Hey-oh! Hey. Ho-ho.

Hi. Oh.

"Hi." Don't be like that.

What? I'm not being like anything.

Well, then take a sh*t and don't forget the cardinal rule.

Don't drink wine after whiskey?

Nope. The cardinal cardinal rule.

Don't att*ck members of your own team, dorkus.

Duh.

[WYNONNA AND MICHELLE WHOOPING AND LAUGHING]

You sure they want me to come?

They still seem so mad.

Oh, they'll be fine, sugar-cube.

Will you? [LOUD BACKGROUND CHATTER]

Look, I am so sorry, Jolene.

I mean, I... I saw something... I don't know...

Look, we all know that you're a little trigger-happy.

Nicole calls it impulsive.

She said that? Mm-hmm.

She's meeting us at Shorty's.

What? You called her?! [LOUD BACKGROUND CHATTER]

She's my best friend, Waverly. [LAUGHTER IN BACKGROUND]

Cupcake for the road?

Thanks.

[HAPPY EXCLAMATIONS] [LAUGHTER]

Oh, Gypsy Rose Lestat seems to have made herself right at home.

Maybe I should get my fortune told, 'cause my future feels wide open!

No! Look, all our cash is earmarked for the Get-Mama-Pissed-fund. Three more, barkeep.

Yes, please. [BARTENDER] You got it. Comin' right up.

♪ It's been so long and you're so fine... ♪ Nice. [SINGING CONTINUES]

Something I don't understand.

How can a revenant be inside my head all this time, but physically in the prison? It doesn't add up.

Would you like a Nanaimo bar?

Need max room for max beer.

Mm. Or whisky.

[LAUGHTER]

Some revenants have different powers.

Though that's a new one. A big one.

Yeah, it doesn't feel right. At all.

No.

You know what else doesn't feel right?

Just Kate thinking she can set up shop in our bar just because she's Doc's wife.

What? Oh, yeah.

She's his old lady from the Old West.

Typical Romeo and Juliet stuff.

Whoa.

I'll go talk to her. Yeah, I'm gonna drink for her.

♪ ...sweet heart of mine ♪

[GRUNTING]

Who is that? You are still coherent.

An act of will, Doc.

Xavier Dolls... is dead.

Interesting.

Were you friends at the end?

I'd like to think so.

That ain't why you came here, to ply me with...

...banana liqueur?

Well, feel free to send it back up if you are declining.

[GRUNTING]

I'll just plug my nose and pretend I'm in Tahiti.

Oh, hello.

What do you want from me, Doc?

Tears? Shock?

I'm looking for an angle...

...I can use on Bulshar.

You know better than to make deals with devils.

A lesson we have both been slow to learn.

I... want to negotiate!

I... want a visitor.

Waverly Earp.

I will do my level best.

Bulshar wants his ring.

It was on his hand when it got cut off by his spider wife, the widow.

What does it do?

It makes his finger look really pretty.

Well, I have not seen it since we ended her.

Your little team of heroes.

One of them must've jacked it.

And they haven't told you they have it yet.

Enjoy the belly-wash.

Sorry you'll have to stand in your own piss afterwards.

Send me Waverly! You owe me, Doc!

Send me Waverly!

[WYNONNA]: Obviously, I assumed she was mega-dead by now, nothing but a body.

[MICHELLE]: But what a body.

That's Big Nose Kate?! Her nose is perfect.

Well, in better news, she has to go around with that nickname now for the rest of eternity.

You are Wynonna Earp.

Now get your butt out here and I will do repairs.

[WYNONNA]: What repairs? [DOOR CREAKING]

I don't need repairs. Oh, honey.

Oh, good call. Mm-hmm.

Hey. Are you okay?

See, Waverly gets it. She's the one that told me that Kate was his wife.

You knew?!

Well... it was Doc's right to tell...

I didn't think I should. Be loyal? Yeah.

Look, Wynonna, Kate came for him, not vice versa.

Now, you shove those legendary Earp ta-tas up and you go and you tantalize that man.

I don't think that's a good idea.

So you can't not be on Wynonna's side and then tell her how to behave.

Well... since when do we have sides?

I dunno, but you sure as hell don't seem to be on mine, half-sister.

Why did I just say that? That was awful.

Oh, I don't think so, hon.

I think that's exactly what she needed to hear.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

I should have some staff here somewhere.

Mm.

Y'know, I thought I liked you, Johnny Hank.

Classic cowboy...

...bar full of bottles that turns my crank.

Here.

But...

Oh, what is this?

I call it... the Don't Have A Stealth Wife While You're Doin' My Daughter You Enormous Prick!

[WOMAN LAUGHING]

Oh, it is a pitiful evening indeed.

I cannot even catch the eye of Jolene, the prettiest girl in Purgatory.

I don't like you at all.

I didn't even mean that.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ I get my kicks ♪

♪ From a bottle of booze... ♪ Nicky.

Hey. You made it.

Can I get you a drink? Oh, yes, please.

No, I-I won't go see him.

We can't open that door. Can we?

Well, he did say it was to your own advantage.

Excuse me?

I know you two aren't talking about Bobo Del Rey without me, right?

Oh, I'm just... trying to find a way to, uh, contribute. Doc.

'Cause I feel like you've been contributing all over the place!

Wynonna... It seems you are incapable of keeping a confidence.

You're married! Guys...

Shut up, Waverly! Shut up!!

Pardon the interruption, but I heard someone wished to cross my palm?

Ha-ha. Is that what they're calling it these days?

Didn't think your palm was necessarily involved.

Maybe this isn't the best time. Hey, Waverly... maybe mow your own lawn.

Oh, oh.

[LAUGHTER]

Well, it's all in the smile and wave.

Oh, it's quite a smile.

Here, let me grab that for you.

[GRUNTING] What are you doing?

Uh, I just, uh, got here.

We're having a brilliant time. Ah!!

Whoa! Okay, Waverly.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. [WAVERLY GRUNTING]

Hey! No, just give me a second!

Okay. She's just pouring me a beer!

Okay, whoa, guys. Just take it easy, alright?

Let's not move, copper. Get off of her!

[GRUNTING] [MAN]: Yeah! Alright!

[MICHELLE GROANING] Nice, Mama.

Wah! Oh!

This one goes out to chaos.

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

♪ Cheater cheater where'd you meet her ♪

♪ Down at Ernie's bar ♪ Whoo!!

Mama, get down! Hey, get off!

Come on down. Hey!

[GRUNTING] Whoo!

First call for free alcohol!

[LAUGHING] Oh, yeah!

Whoa!! ♪ Dance with her real slow ♪ Mama! ♪ Tell me cheater cheater ♪ You're back for one day and then you got...

♪ Where'd you meet that no-good white-trash ho ♪ You're cut off! You're my kid!

You don't turn off my taps!

Don't tell her what to do!

Hey! I can fight my own battles!

Yeah? When are you... gonna start, huh?

Ah! [SCREAMING]

♪ ...Get the hell out of my house ♪ Goddammit, Wynonna, can't you be sober for once?!

Yeah? Can you be a not-stuck-up... suck-up?!

♪ Cheater cheater where'd you meet her ♪ I pursued that man over continents and centuries and I do not give up!

Blah, bitch. Have you met me?

Excuse me. [GRUNTING]

♪ ...No-good white-trash ho ♪ Whoa!

Okay, move!

In you go... Thank you. Not again.

[WYNONNA SIGHING] [BUZZER SOUNDING]

Just try not to hit each other, okay? Or do.

You punched everybody else in town.

I got the mutton-chop dude and I got the...

[CHUCKLING] ...I got that vampire whore...

And I got the ginger cop. I'm sorry. And Doc...

And Doc. Jinx! You owe me a beer!

[LAUGHTER]

You know, Jolene sent you guys some baking, but I'm just gonna give it to the staff for having to deal with the two of you!

Boo...!

[SLURRING]: It was lovely to meet you, Officer.

Was it? Meh.

If they give you any trouble... They're Earps.

Yeah. Call me first. Right? Mm.

Ahem.

Hi.

Okay. Oh, I-I...

...just came to bail them out.

Well, no bail for drunks.

They stay until they're not.

Oh, well, then see you next week.

Even though Wynonna did as*ault an officer, I'm not gonna press charges.

But Michelle? We've gotta turn her in to the feds.

What? Nicole! No.

Harbouring a fugitive at your home, one who tried to k*ll you as a child?!

What were you thinking?!

She's my mother! And I'm a cop!

You didn't think to talk to me about it first?!

Uh, I was... I was going to.

Hmm. But you didn't. I had to hear it from Jolene.

Were you not even thinking about me at all?

Am I always the last person you consider?!

No. I...

I'm so sorry. I...

[STAMMERING]

Can I call you later? Yeah, or don't.

Like a queen surveying her kingdom.

Sorry? No, I don't believe you are.

I'm bored. Want a freebie?

Oh, no, thanks. I'm not interested.

Five of Wands. This is a warning.

You have an outstanding bill.

I'm all paid up. Just ask your hubby.

You owe fealty. And if you were my friend, I'd tell you to pay that debt, for he knows what you've done. He is coming.

You know, the thing with vampires is, you all think you're the life of the party, but actually you're all a bunch of high-maintenance, whiny-ass, dirt-stinking blood-sucking buzz-kills.

Oh, and your lipstick's always kind of janky

'cause of your weird oral fixation.

Jolene.

[WOMAN CRYING]

Waverly? Waverly.

Hey. [CHUCKLING RUEFULLY]

Karaoke night!

Is your bar totally busted?

Oh, no thanks to you.

You know anything about a ring?

A ring that may have been Bulshar's?

Uh, Nicole does.

Alright, I will bite.

Why, pray tell, are you crying?

Again.

Because everything? I...

I think Nicole just dumped me and I don't... guess what? I don't even blame her.

I... I yelled at Wynonna.

Mama's going back to jail and I feel like it's all my fault.

She said the demon came when I was born.

When you were born.

Wait.

Are you saying... The demon.

Is it me?

You know, it would make sense.

You're not the same as the rest of 'em.

Bobo said you were his kin.

Plus, oof, you got a real vicious streak.

Just ask Jolene.

Hello, beautiful.

I'm just waiting for Waverly.

We got into this huge fight. I don't even know why I said half the things that I said.

I see you.

You spend your life rescuing others.

What about you?

Oh, what are you doing?

Whatever I want.

Are you... even gay?

I'm whatever you want me to be.

And everything that she's not.

I love Waverly.

No, you don't. Yes, I do. I love her.

And you, I don't even... I don't even think I like you.

- Cagnia mortuus! [GASPING]

Impossible. I threw this away into the woods.

Ah!! Oh! [CLATTERING]

What is that?

It's Bulshar's ring.

He is risen.

Ma, are you awake? Oh, my, God, I wish I wasn't.

I'm sorry... about the mean stuff I said before.

For thinking you were an assh*le... the whole time you were... sacrificing everything for us.

Well, I'll tell you what I did. I was a mom.

And you'd have done the same thing.

I did.

My little girl.

Alice Michelle.

Alice Michelle?

I sent her away until this curse is gone.

Sounds like you made the right choice.

Feels like... shitty sh*t.

Hey, she's lucky.

Can you imagine... [CHUCKLING] ...you and me...

[LAUGHING] ...toasted on schnapps at the back of the school nativity play, going: "Whoo-hoo!!

Hey, you're one hot Virgin Mary, Earp!"

I just...

...still can't figure out...

...why a demon d*ed like a revenant.

Hmm.

My head feels different. It feels wrong.

Oh, how does Jolene know that I love Nanaimo bars?

Maybe it's just the whisky passing through?

[SCOFFING]

No, I feel it. I think the demon's still out there.

So's my baby sister.

Ah, if it isn't the demon... Waverly.

Randy!

Hey, 911! 911! Get your khaki sack in here!!!

I saw your name on the board, Michelle Gibson, and I did not believe it.

You don't recognize these dulcet tones?

Hi, Randy. Now let me the hell out.

You know, on top of you two being in here for public intoxication, there's a state warrant out for your arrest.

Yes, there's also a bastard demon out there trying to k*ll Waverly right now!

Michelle, let's not go back to the crazy talk like that night you b*rned down the barn.

Nedley! She's telling the truth. So let me out. Now.

There's only Jolene to look after her. Who's Jolene?

Jolene. You know.

We grew up with her. Last name? Which family?

I dunno. Did they live in town?

Which concession? You got a phone number?

Everybody's got a phone number.

Demons don't.

Also, do you know who brought in the baking?

I could use some breakfast.

[BOTH]: Put down that tart, Randy!!

You're not good.

If you were good...

...you wouldn't have lost... everything.

Are you going to do something right...

...for once?!

My mom would never say this, but she did all this to...

...to protect me from... from the dark thing.

You... are the dark thing.

The real baby was special, but you're not her.

You're a changeling, the evil that she left behind that night in the burning barn.

My father was a demon.

You know he is.

You can't cheerlead your way out of this one.

It's too much.

Then do it!

End it!

It's the only thing that will make it better!

Do it.

Waverly!!

Officer Haught! Are you in here?!

Waverly! [POUNDING]

Waverly!

What about her? Jolene's the demon.

I was born at the exact same time as you.

Twins?

In a sick sense.

The universe craves balance.

And you came and arrived out of the light, and I...

I crawled out of the muck.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Everything good was given to you.

Freedom, flaxen hair, family.

And what did I get?

I got shunned, starved... reviled!

Oh...

But we're equals now.

Because nobody loves you either.

Why don't you do it?

Haven't you been listening?!

We're linked, you idiot!!!

Do it, you useless piece of skin.

Wynonna!

Wynonna loves me.

No. Yes. Yes. Always.

And... and despite what happened tonight, I know... I know that Nicole does too.

And... and... and Doc and...

Jeremy and... oh, Mama.

You're lying to yourself. No.

You don't bring them a single thing!

I'm here.

I'm here and I stay...

And I love them back and...

And I... I never, never, never give up on them.

Ah! [SCREECHING]

It's my birthright.

Ah! Ah!

Well, this is mine!

[SCREECHING]

I can still fix this.

This is for Nicole.

[GRUNTING]

And this is for making me feel worthless!

Ah!

You can't k*ll me without k*lling yourself!

But she can.

Oh!

I'm your friend.

You love me.

I love her more. Oh.

g*dd*mn Earps.

Hey. Hey, hey.

Don't let the bitch get away.

[DISSONANT MUSIC]

You slag!

What are you doing?

Something I dreamed about every time you kept me awake in my cell, whispering what you were gonna do to my daughter!

What is that?

It's him. No.

That was fealty.

I swear... the girl was for you.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah...!

Bulshar!

Oh!

Come on, girls.

Oh, let's go home.

Even though you were in the thrall of a powerful super evil demon and her unearthly baked goods, you said...

I said... that you are the only luscious, funny...

Yeah. Yeah.

Hot-as-hell baby that I need.

Then she got super pissed and threw me into the dresser, and... that's when the ring fell.

Then it b*rned her? Yeah.

And then she got even more pissed and tossed me into the closet.

Ironically.

Ugh. Hey, hey, she's gone now.

That's what's important, right?

Right.

But the ring coming back to you, that's...

Yeah, kind of a creepy boomerang vibe.

Yeah...

But it kept you safe from her.

I'm sorry.

Sometimes things are... are so completely nuts, and you, you... well, you seem okay and sane and safe.

So I forget to give you the completely-nuts update.

Yeah, you know what? How about you just, uh, update me later, 'kay?

Bulshar!

I wish to speak to you.

I am done with pity.

I am not play acting the hero.

I have come with something you desire.

Something I will never relinquish.

And I will never stop fighting for them.

Whatever it takes, I will do.

Even this.

I am Doc Holliday.

I do not fear the void.

I spit into the void!

So it seems, Bulshar, we do have an accord.

I may be going to hell...

...but I will drag you with me.

Ding-dong. Anyone home?

[GRUNTING]

Something tells me I'm not getting more banana liqueur, am I?

Of course, any visit from a sweet Earp is...

I came to tell you she ain't coming and she never will.

Oh...

I'm working real hard on keeping my family safe.

And you know what? Part of keeping them safe... means keeping them the hell away from you.

Wynonna!

I bear news of great joy.

Your sister is blessed.

Her real father, a fella named... Julian.

What about him?

He was an angel.

An honest-to-God, heavens-above angel.