07x09 - Fallout

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Younger"...

I want to think that you've changed.

Charles obviously does.

When it comes to him, I'd rather save my ass than my face.

If you're teaching a bunch of college students, I don't think these tweets came from them.

- You set me up.

- You're fired!

You brought this on yourself.

- My train's on the corner.

- Oh, no, no, no.

Freddie can take you anywhere you want.

Maybe dinner with a friendly book lover?

- You dated Clare.

- We broke up last month.

- It dropped today.

- Oh, my God!

Our little incubator, it's taking off!

Hey, what are you doing with that sign?

Maggie Amato's been cancelled.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

And the caterpillar emerges from her chrysalis, a beautiful butterfly.

Not now, I've been up since : a.m.

What are you doing back there?

Well, I built a dark room.

You know, this whole cancel Maggie Amato business gave me an idea for a new show.

- Hey, that's great.

- I think it could be, but, no gallery wants to rep me now.

So I'm showing at the East River Bar, you know, in that side room people go to piss when the bathroom line gets too long.

Well, hey, Charles didn't wanna publish one of our INKubator authors, so we got her into "Vulture."

Each week, a new chapter comes out, and people are going crazy for her.

I know it's...

it's not the same, but...

Even when the bathroom line isn't long, people still go in there to piss...

and vomit.

Well, you have to show your work...

even in a bar that stinks of piss and vomit, because that's what artists do.

Yeah.

Well, at least you'll be there, right?

I'ma have to check my calendar.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ Hey, hey, we got soul ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, we got soul ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪ ♪ Hey, hey ♪

comments on Dylan's chapter, and they're all positive.

Um, .

Okay, this one is just an emoji of a bowl.

Do you think it means bowled over?

- No, eating it up.

- [GASPS]

You guys, these people fell in love hard.

Ugh, look at you.

Withholding the chapters, teasing the readers...

I'm seriously triggered, and seriously impressed.

I mean, it is a total mind game.

It's like, we hooked up, and it was hot, but I want to take it slow.

Yeah, it's like a friendly hug goodbye, but then you lean your hips forward just enough to graze it.

- Ew, Liza, you nasty.

- I know, I'm nasty.

- [LAUGHTER] - Good morning.

Good morning, hello.

Is this the girl that came out of your INKubator night?

Sure is.

- It's good.

- Yeah.

Do you think maybe we should bring her in?

Can I get a Y to the E to the...

No, it's still not something we would publish.

Well, someone wanted to publish her.

And let people read her work for free.

Well, sometimes content is for free.

That's what INKubator is all about.

And Dylan's next book might be worth some money, so, we're just helping her get there.

But I also need you to get to work on books that people will actually...

pay to read.

Excuse me.

[FUNKY MUSIC] ♪ ♪ Hi, me again.

Do you know Susan Abbott?

Yeah, of course, she's the food writer married to Jonah Rothchild...

he's one of my favorite authors.

Well, Susan and Jonah are coming in today to meet with me.

Jonah left FSG?

No, he's still there, and Susan is still with Harper-Collins, but, they're doing a book together and they want a new publisher

- for the joint venture.

- Wow.

This could be a get.

Jonah has a Pulitzer.

And Susan ha two James Beard awards, we worked really hard to get them in here...

since I figure it's a book people will actually pay to read.

Um...

would you mind if I joined the meeting?

It's your company, you can do whatever you want.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[PHONE CHIMING]

♪ ♪ [PHONE RINGING]

[RINGING CONTINUES]

♪ ♪ Okay, so, first an unsolicited tick pic, and now a FaceTime call with no warning?

I thought it was a fun surprise.

No!

In fact, most people would consider this, like, a t*rror1st act.

Well, I need a social media etiquette class.

- Or, maybe a personal tutor?

- I don't tutor.

Do you go to hockey games?

Why, did someone cancel on you?

I have season tickets, you are the only person I've asked, but if you want to invite people, I have a box.

Oh, wow.

[LAUGHS]

I'm surprised you didn't send a pic of that.

Of my box?

Even I know that's at least date two or three.

[LAUGHS] I'll see you there at seven.

Perfect.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[SIGHS]

A notable food writer and a guy famous for his literary fiction decide to write a spy novel.

How did that happen?

Well, our first date, we saw "Three Days of the Condor"...

- Yes we did.

- ... at the Film Forum.

And afterward, we went back to his place, he pretended to be Robert Redford,

- I was Faye Dunaway.

- [LAUGHTER]

We love the spy genre is the point, I hope, of that story, right?

Have you two ever collaborated before?

No, we were wiser in our youth.

Yeah, well, we d... we've always helped each other, but collaborating was a different beast.

It could be worse, you could be broken up and working together.

We published Charles's ex-wife's book.

That was tricky.

I thought that book went pretty smoothly, considering.

Hm, well, I was the one who edited it, so, I have a different take.

I'll bet.

So, who would we be working with?

- Me.

- Me.

Or, both of us.

Yeah.

That could be fun.

We both have multi-book contracts with, y'know, publishers and we want to make an informed decision.

We actually have a lot of interest, so we decided to do a bake-off.

Here are the first two chapters.

- Thank you.

- Just take a look, see what you think.

By tomorrow.

Uh, we'll make it work.

Well, then, you passed the first test, look at that.

The second is if we like your notes, so...

And if we do, it'll be a double date.

- [CHUCKLES] - I'm kidding.

I know.

That went well.

Um, maybe we can dig in after lunch?

- Yeah, I'll make copies.

- Okay.

- Lo cracks me up.

- Yeah, I was trying to hold the elevator door for Quinn and he dumped my sweet greens and, um...

crushed my hand, but it was pretty funny, so...

- Lo?

- Um, short for Lauren.

It's a nickname, and Quinn gave it to me, so I like it.

Who was this "it's so important we have to move our lunch meeting with"?

- Jonah Rothchild and Susan Abbott.

- [GASPS]

Susan Abbott was here?

Oh, my God, her book "Bread Soup: A Winter In Milan" changed my life.

I know, same with me.

Yeah, it's the reason I only masturbate with olive oil.

Okay, different for me.

So, I moved our lunch to : .

What time is it now?

Um...

Ooh, nice watch, sir.

If you want accurate time, you get a watch made in Geneva, and if you're very lucky, you get one as a gift.

- It is : .

- [LAUGHS]

- I'm gonna go grab my coat.

- Okay.

All right, get in here.

I can't tell if he likes the watch.

Is it too flashy?

Not flashy enough?

And what does it say about me that I was the first one in the relationship to give a gift?

- My advice?

- Yeah?

Don't overthink it.

I mean, maybe gifts just aren't his thing.

Like, he didn't even get Liza a ring when he proposed.

He proposed?

Like a proposed marriage?

[BOTH LAUGH]

Is that a joke?

No, I mean, I kind of wish it were, but she...

she obviously said no, so...

- [INHALES SHARPLY] - Okay.

Bye bye.

Hi.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪ Well, I had a great time.

Ugh, me too.

You don't sound happy about that.

Well, I was kind of hoping I was gonna have a horrible time and get you out of my system.

- [SCOFFS] - [LAUGHS] I'm not really looking for complicated dating situation.

It's not a complicated situation.

Claire and I ended things amicably.

We just...

we weren't a match.

And yes, of course, I noticed how beautiful you were the first time we met.

But I swear I didn't have one impure thought about you.

Uh, until you yelled at me about my books, which, weirdly turned me on.

And it was a full month after Claire and I broke up.

I love Claire, and I love Claire's daughter...

Shh.

[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]

♪ ♪ Ah!

God.

Jesus, Lauren.

Are you sneaking around with Zane?

No.

Okay, well, you're sneaking around with someone.

I am not sneaking.

I went out with a guy, and it's nothing, and if it turns into something,

- I will let you know.

- Boundaries, okay.

Not quite sure why best friends need those, but fine.

[SNIFFS] You made out.

[GASPS] Do not sniff me.

Alexa, turn off the lights.

[ALEXA] Okay.

Okay, literally, keeping me in the dark.

Cute.

[JAZZY MUSIC]

These two have such distinct voices, but they weave together seamlessly.

I know.

It speaks to their talent.

It probably also speaks to a good relationship.

It's like that saying, "A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it, knows what goes in."

The old casserole saying,

- how could I forget?

- Oh, come on, I love quotes and sayings.

I had notebooks dedicated to them when I was a kid and teen and maybe young adult.

- Wow.

- Stop.

All this time, I thought you might have been popular.

Well, it's never too late to be what you might have been.

- That's George Eliot.

- That's good.

You believe that's true?

Yes.

I think about finishing my book a lot.

Going upstate and just writing.

But I keep coming up with excuses not to.

Well, stop doing that.

[CHUCKLES]

All right, what do we have so far?

So far, I've just told them what we love about the pages.

So, maybe we just do that.

And we just tell them what we love and what we're excited to see more of.

I know, I mean, these are two professionals.

They're editing each other as they go.

Yeah, and I'm sure that they just want to work with people they get along with and who share their vision.

- And that's us.

- Yeah.

We work well together, you know that?

Yeah, I do.

Getting late.

According to your fancy new timepiece.

Yeah, well, you gotta hand it to the Swiss, they...

know how to make a watch.

And cuckoo clocks.

Ha.

You should go, I can send the email out for both of us.

Yeah.

[CLEARS THROAT]

- [MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

- Here, I'll just...

♪ So sad, so sad ♪

♪ Gone and lost the best thing I ever had ♪

- Good night.

- Good night.

♪ And you know, you know that I'm sorry ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ Hey, hey ♪

Hey, Miller, you had breakfast?

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

Look at us, couple of OGs with our plain cake donuts, no frills, no fuss, just getting down to business.

What is the business you want to get down to, Quinn?

And I actually asked for sprinkles, but they were out.

Bummer.

Look, I'm gonna be honest with you.

My experience with relationships is not great.

They tend to go sideways pretty early on.

- You're kidding me.

- But with Charles, things are actually going really well.

And I don't want to do anything to mess it up, or get messed up by it, so I need you to tell me...

Are there any red flags I'm missing?

If you loved Charles, and he proposed to you, then why aren't you married?

There is nothing wrong with Charles.

You don't have to worry.

Marriage was just something I didn't want to do again.

- That's it.

- So, you ended things?

No, he did.

If there's one red flag to report, it's that Charles has rigid ideas about how things should be.

He must have been so surprised when you said no.

Marriage makes perfect sense for somebody like you.

Somebody wants to marry me, they have to sign a prenup as thick as a phonebook.

I thought marriage was something you felt like you missed out on?

No.

No, I don't want to disclose my tax returns.

A legal contract for business, I understand, but in the bedroom, it's such a turn-off.

The minute I am legally bound to something,

- I want to get out of there.

- Not Charles.

- Marriage is really important to him.

- Mm.

A man in the business of books likes tradition.

I should have seen this coming.

[SIGHS] Well, thank you for your honesty, Liza.

I guess we're not that different after all.

Yeah.

Give or take a billion.

♪ Oh, it's poison and wine ♪

♪ It's pouring rain I've got to feel the vibe ♪

Ready to get your booster sh*t today or what, baby girl?

I'm not.

Thanks for coming with us.

Yeah, of course.

[GRUNT]

All right.

Got your jacket...

[LAUGHS]

Where did this thing come from?

Huh.

I don't know.

That reminds me of Rob.

Do I need to shut her ears for this story?

He had a box at Madison Square Garden.

He loves hockey.

- Yeah, okay.

- Yeah.

We went to games there all the time.

He even let entertain some clients from work there after we broke up.

He had his good moments.

- Yeah, that, uh, sounds like it.

- Oh, yeah...

except when he dumps you, right?

Yeah, that is an excellent point, you know.

How many good moments does it take to make a good person, right, or a bad person?

I mean, how do you measure...

♪ Measure a life ♪

What do you think, Kels?

I don't know.

We're gonna be late.

Good luck, Gemma!

- Bye.

- Kelsey?

You are seeing Rob.

And that big old finger gave you away.

So what?

Claire and Rob aren't together, he is an available, single person.

And, have you asked Claire how she feels about that?

I'm not that close with Claire, so I haven't.

Ha, well, had you not fallen asleep during "Chernobyl," you'd know that you don't need to be that close to be affected.

Here we go with "Chernobyl" again.

Listen, Claire is Chernobyl, okay.

And you, you're not Kiev, you're not even Moscow, all right, you are a moose, grazing in a forest in northern Sweden.

But the break up is in the air, okay?

And it is travelling.

Okay.

And now it's on the grass that you're eating.

Oh-oh, is that a blister on your hoof?

I'll tell Rob that I can't see him.

Kelsey, you will text him.

[PHONE BUZZING]

He didn't say what he wanted?

No.

But this place is fancy, so I'm assuming he's trying to dull our senses with ambience, and then pitch us something we hate.

Hello, Rose, Dorothy.

- So what's our plan?

- We're not ordering food.

Great, so I'll get right down to it.

I'll admit, I sent around that INKubator article when it first popped into my feed and laughed with some friends, but it turns out you found someone special.

I love Dylan, she's like the Korean Amy Tan.

Let's schedule a meeting.

With Dylan Park?

No, Dylan McDermott, what's he up to?

We don't feel comfortable talking about Dylan's career without her present.

Yeah, that's why I wanted to have a meeting with her.

She's not taking meetings with agents.

- Why?

- Uh, you'd have to ask her.

I would love to.

What...

why are we doing this radio play?

What are you two hiding?

Nothing.

♪ ♪ You didn't release a writer into the wild without signing her first, did you?

No, why would we ever do that?

Because you don't have any money.

Do you not have any money?

Is INKubator some sort of literary sweatshop?

No.

[SCOFFS]

No, INKubator...

well, it's a pun, but, it describes exactly what it is.

[LAUGHTER] So you two get all the publicity for your little side hustle, while you lure in new talent to your stable.

Shame on you both.

My girl needs to get paid.

- Your girl?

- [LAUGHTER]

Someone has to look out for her.

I know I can get Dylan a deal for that book.

So either you cut me in, or I'll cut you out.

Too-da-loo, kangaroo.

[SIGHS]

What an operator.

- We cannot lose Dylan.

- No, I know.

I know!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Just breaking down the walls again ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Tell me I can't ♪ ♪ ♪

- Liza.

- Oh, hey, I was looking for you.

I was looking for you, too.

Jonah and Susan's office called and left word, and I wanted to wait for you to call 'em back.

♪ ♪ You're too late.

No, you're not.

We love your notes.

- We want you to edit the book.

- Yeah.

- Great!

- That is great news.

So we're up in Bronxville during the week when Jonah teaches at Sarah Lawrence.

We'd love you to come for dinner tomorrow night.

Susan will cook something fabulous.

And, you know, we can talk specifics.

Uh, I think we can manage that.

Yeah, uh, we'll see the two of you tomorrow.

- Great.

- Yeah.

- We got it!

Oh!

- Oh, we got it.

Uh, that might cost us everything that we have, but this is exactly the kind of book we wanted.

Right.

Established, promotable writers.

Oh.

Liza, this is really good.

What did you wanna talk to me about?

Nothing.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ I got what you want ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ I got what you want ♪

[PHONE CHIMES]

♪ Yeah, I got what you want ♪

♪ I got what you want ♪

♪ And you won't believe your eyes ♪

[KNOCK AT DOOR] Morning.

- Hey.

- _ - [MESSAGE SENDS] - Come in.

All right, I was up all night thinking about this Dylan situation.

I never should have given her work to "Vulture."

- It was so stupid.

- No.

No, no, it forced us to get our asses into gear.

Sit down.

I love it when you talk like a football coach.

"Millennial" was a big money maker.

We took this company into the black, and apparently we need to remind everybody of that.

Apparently, we do.

So here's what I'm thinking.

We take INKubator online and monetize it.

So we keep giving chapters to "Vulture" until the very end, and then if people wanna finish the book, they have to pay to download the app that we create.

One question: How do we make an app?

I don't know, but I've also never bound a book by hand before.

- I did once.

- [LAUGHS] But I get your point.

We outsource.

Exactly.

And "Vulture" has over .

million monthly unique visitors.

And over half of their readership is female.

I know those readers better than Charles.

I know that they will follow Dylan to that app and buy the book.

Okay, but all of this is going to cost money.

And like Redmond said, Dylan could take that book anywhere now.

- She's gonna want an advance.

- I know.

I'm gonna use the money that I have saved for a down payment on an apartment.

Kelsey, you can't do that.

Let's just ask Charles for the money to try a proof of concept for this app.

- Like a pilot program.

- No.

I'm done asking.

I was publisher here once, okay.

I know what I'm talking about.

We keep shouting at Charles that Dylan is a good investment, but we have to show him, and when we do, Empirical will pay me back.

Okay.

I believe in Dylan.

I believe in you.

[LIGHT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪ All right.

[LAUGHS] Now, for starters, we have bacon and cheddar toast, followed by spaghetti with ramps and an apple galette for dessert.

And the Gevrey-Chambertin.

I hope you like burgundy.

- Mm.

To a new relationship.

- Hey.

And an old relationship.

[LAUGHS] Cheers.

Thank you.

Ooh!

So, Susan, I have quite an ask, but could you tell me the secret to your grilled cheese?

I'm sorry, you have a famous grilled cheese?

It was on the cover of "Food & Wine." But it b*at out Thomas Keller's Branzino.

- It was...

whoa.

- And almost every celebrity did a TikTok trying to make it.

All right.

Are you ready?

- Yes!

- [LAUGHTER] I put a little mayonnaise on the bread, and I grate some cheese on that mayonnaise.

That's how you get the crispy shell?

Yeah.

If you call that shell a tuile, and liken it to lace on a wedding gown, and don't mention the mayonnaise, that grilled cheese gets to be on the cover of "Food & Wine."

- Oh.

- Wow.

- That is a good segue.

- Wait, what is?

- Hiding the mayonnaise.

- Oh, God.

Well, my interest is piqued.

We wanna publish our book under a pen name.

- Wait, what?

- Serita Consemint.

Wow, that's got quite a flourish to it, doesn't it?

Is there a reason why?

Serita was the name of my great aunt...

No, I mean, is there a reason why you don't wanna publish under your own names?

Well, there's the mystery.

And it's great for the marketing.

"Who is Serita Consemint?" Like Elena Ferrante.

The two of you don't need a gimmick to sell your books.

And you should be proud of your work.

- We are proud of it.

- Most of it.

He wanted to put in a t*rture scene.

- Yeah.

- I said no.

The book... regardless of what name is on it...

will be a success.

The way you wrote together was inspired.

Yeah, of course the book will sell, I just don't think that people like being lied to.

Right, but, you know, that's what storytelling is.

Right, it's lying to entertain.

Right, I don't disagree, but save it for the story.

When that bleeds into real life, then I think people just feel manipulated.

Well, we appreciate your thoughts on this, but we're set on publishing through a pen name.

Well, if you all are set on that, then I'm afraid you'll have to find a different publisher.

[SOMBER MUSIC] All right.

[CHUCKLES] Let's make our way over to the table for the main course.

We wouldn't want those ramps to wilt.

♪ ♪ That was awkward.

But, uh, I do feel like it was the right call.

Why are you so stubborn?

- Excuse me?

- You loved them.

Jonah was an idol of yours.

Why cares if they wanna publish under a pen name?

- [SCOFFS]

- My God.

It's gotta be your terms, or it just doesn't work.

That is not true.

Are you kidding me?

We're not together because all of a sudden, you needed to be married.

We never even talked about marriage.

It wasn't all of a sudden.

All of a sudden you asked me, and all of a sudden we're over.

I wanted to know that you really loved me.

I wanted to have all of you.

You did have all of me.

Oh, my God.

You don't believe me.

Can you blame me?

I wish I didn't love you.

Liza.

- What are you doing?

- I'm ordering an Uber.

Three minutes.

You don't have to wait.

♪ ♪ [SIGHS]

♪ ♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC]

Hey.

I don't have a title for it yet, but, you know, it's all about the perception of truth...

what you see when you look at another person.

- Is it who they really are...

- Or is it who they were at that moment in time?

[CHUCKLES] Yeah.

Something like that.

But those tweets were never what they said I was.

[LIGHT MUSIC]

Are you okay?

Oh!

♪ Baby, you have the key ♪

♪ To open the door ♪

♪ And let me out ♪

♪ Maybe you and I can leave this behind ♪

♪ Once and for all ♪

[JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS]

You came.

Dinner ended a little early.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

But we are not doing the book.

Oh.

Why not?

The authors don't wanna publish under their own names.

They wanna do some gimmicky pen name thing.

So I said no.

Maybe I'm too stubborn.

Mm.

For the record, I would've said yes.

To the book?

To you.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- Next time on "Younger"...

- Clare.

You guys have been so supportive since...

well, we don't need to say his name.

No, we do not.

With Rob, it's just uncomplicated.

Mm-hmm, except it's not.

I have gotten several phone calls about Empirical's new start-up.

This is huge, Kels!

Do whatever makes you happy.

That's all I want.

You are a remarkable woman, Liza Miller.

[AMBIENT MUSIC]

- [NOTIFICATION CHIMES]

- What's going on?

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪