She looks so beautiful.
She's a'ight.
Seasonal allergies?
No, I always cry at weddings.
Technically, I always cry when
I'm forced to wear a dress.
Please be seated.
Dearly beloved, I am so happy
to be invited here today
to join these two people together.
Joining two people?
What sick games are they
playing in this place?
Judy, it's a metaphorical joining.
He's joining them together in marriage
because they're the perfect
people for each other.
Can't he join them
somewhere more comfortable?
This place can afford a pipe organ,
but we can't get some
seat cushions up in here?
What are you complaining about?
Your butt is made out of titanium.
Judy's right. These seats
are tough on the butt.
And mine's just made out
of regular tushy meat.
Ernie, watch your
language. We're in a church.
Although truth be told, I can
barely feel my right cheek.
Marriage is not to be entered into
lightly, but with mindfulness
that this commitment is forever.
You know what feels like forever?
This ceremony.
Dad, will you tell Judy that
marriage is a beautiful part of life?
Oh, I like marriage.
I just don't like having to buy
the happy couple a $ toaster.
This ring symbolizes your
commitment to each other
Why does this random dude
decide that they're married?
Judy, he's not a random dude.
He's a kind-hearted guy who
has spent his entire life
dedicated to helping the community.
(Screaming)
Well, I guess that's worth
the price of the toaster.
Okay, so just to be clear,
you're saying that that preacher
was actually an agent for the Other Side.
Working deep cover.
That preacher was no preacher.
He wasn't even ordained.
That makes no sense.
We've known him forever.
He married us, for goodness sake.
Are you sure?
I would know. I was there.
And I paid for it.
Wait.
If he wasn't ordained, then that means...
I now pronounce you not really
husband and not really wife.
I guess you may now kiss anyone you want.
♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep things hustle cool ♪
♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪
♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪
♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪
♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪
♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪
♪ But I always got your back ♪
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
I keep it undercover.
I keep it undercover.
I cannot believe we are sitting
around here like nothing even happened.
Ernie apologized, we lit a match.
We're all moving on with our lives.
Dad, I'm talking about you
not actually being married.
I call a family meeting.
If you were never actually married,
that means our entire
lives have been a lie.
Our family's a sham. We are a shamily.
What was your first clue?
The robot sister?
KC, come on, relax.
We'll make it official,
go down to the courthouse,
and take care of it tomorrow.
No, tomorrow's the deadline
for my fantasy football picks.
- Craig.
- Yay, we're getting married tomorrow!
Come on, let's go to bed.
All right.
Uh-uh-uh-uh. Separate rooms, okay,
until you're officially married.
Mom, you're gonna be in my
room, Dad, you bunk with Ernie.
And who's sleeping in our room?
Me. My parents are getting married,
I need a good night's sleep.
Oh, okay, look at you, girl.
Is it picture day or something?
I wish I would've known. I'd
have worn my fancy plaid shirt.
As I have mentioned countless times,
there is no such thing
as a fancy plaid shirt.
And I am dressed like
this for after school.
Where you going?
Formal detention?
No. I am doing inventory at the
food bank, and I wanna look good.
Uh, Marisa, you do know that potatoes
don't have actual eyes, right?
No, but Adam does, and now that we
are dating and working together,
I can't go in looking anything but my best.
Okay. As long as the hungry get fed.
The who?
Oh... yeah!
Of course. It is all about them.
Obviously.
Thanks for carrying my books, Ernie.
Any time, Akina.
Sorry you had to carry them for a minute.
I didn't like the idea of your books
being inside of the boys' bathroom.
So am I supposed to hug you
before you get to class or
when I pick you up after?
Or do we hug twice?
Unless it's too much, and you'd rather
mix in the occasional fist bump.
See you later.
Later as in later later, or later
as in you're breaking up with me?
You're so funny.
I'm not funny, I'm worried.
Can I give you a little dating advice, bro?
Dating advice from the
famous love expert KC Cooper?
Hey, maybe when you're done, you
can go down to the mayor's office
and help with the housing crisis.
Oh, wait, you don't know
anything about that either.
I do know that Akina likes you.
I just don't know why.
So forget the craziness in
your head and just enjoy it.
It may never happen again.
She's right. I better keep Akina happy,
or I wasted a lot of money
on that bicycle built for two.
Really romantic spot for a wedding.
Was the mortuary not available?
They have to get their license.
Then it's all about love and romance.
In fact, where are Mom and Dad?
Forget them. Where's Akina?
I texted her ten minutes ago.
I was afraid of this.
It's all coming apart!
No, you're coming apart, man.
Get it together, little boy.
- Where were you guys?
- Food Warehouse.
Let's move this along. I got
pounds of tilapia in the car.
Yeah, we ran out of change so we
only have ten minutes on the meter.
Ooh, you know what? Ask those
people in front if we can cut in.
Guys, this is your wedding day.
Can we not put a time limit on it?
And Dad, what are you wearing?
These are my comfy pants.
No, those are sweat
pants, with stains on them.
Did you get a pizza at the Food Warehouse?
Of course not.
They were giving 'em away.
Why buy it if you can try it?
And he tried it six times.
Brought some of my quick-change disguises.
Come on, guys, this is not romantic at all.
Oh, KC, would you just stop?
Come on, let's just get this over with.
You were right, KC.
This is romantic.
Next. Next!!
Okay.
- I object.
- Excuse me.
That's right, I object.
I object too.
Akina should be here with us.
She's practically family.
Guys, this is not how it's supposed to go.
KC, I thought this is what you wanted.
No. I want you guys to have a real wedding.
A big one with dresses, and flowers
and music and a real preacher,
and our friends and family to be there.
I don't even care if you don't wanna do it,
because like you two are gonna
say to each other later, I do.
U Hey, Dad, I've been making
arrangements for the wedding,
but before I finalize anything,
you have to ask Pops for
Mom's hand in marriage.
Why? I already got her hand, and her
foot and everything in between.
It's tradition.
(Muffled) Fine. I'll sh**t him an email.
No need. Okay?
- Pops!
- Yeah?
(Muffled) What the
heck are you doing here?
And howdy do to you, too.
KC's saying you got an important question.
Let me guess.
How do you get salsa
stains out of sweat pants?
Because the answer is you
can't. You gotta buy new pants.
Go ahead, Dad. Ask Pops
your important question.
Fine. May I have your
permission to marry Kira/
It doesn't sound like you very excited
about making an honest
woman of my daughter.
Yeah, Dad, put down the nachos.
Stand up, tuck in your shirt, do it nice.
Fine. Pops.
Excuse me. What did you call me?
(Rueful chuckle)
- Mr. King.
- Yeah, yeah.
Would you please do me the honor
of giving me your
daughter's hand in marriage?
I don't know. I'm not sure
you're the right man for her.
You were sure years ago.
Actually, I wasn't, but I got outvoted.
- Are you kidding me?
- Dad.
Before I answer, where do you
see yourself in years?
Not on my knees, begging
you to marry my own wife.
I don't like your
attitude, not-so-young man.
Didn't like it then, don't like it now.
I'm not sure you're good
enough for my daughter.
I may not be good enough, but all
her clothes are already here,
so can we wrap this up?
Dad, you are asking for the love
of your life's hand in marriage.
You are not ordering a
taco from a taco truck.
And if he did get a taco, it'd probably
just end up all over his sweatpants.
Is that a yes?
I don't know. I'm not sure
I like the idea of my daughter
marrying a spy. It's dangerous work.
You better say yes, old man,
or you're gonna see dangerous.
Are you threatening El Dorado?
Pops, just give him a break.
All right, take her. She's yours.
That was so romantic.
Oh, man, I forgot to record it.
Can you guys do that one more time?
Look, my parents deserve the
best wedding money can buy,
but I am not paying extra
for pigs in a blanket.
I don't even eat the pigs.
I just need the blankets.
You have got to bring the cost down.
No, absolutely not.
Cutting the Viennese dessert
table is not an option.
It is a must-have.
Like the fireworks and
the horse-drawn carriage.
Come on, give me your best price.
What is the bottom line?
Mm-mm, that is way too many commas.
Fine. Cancel Michael Bublé.
Wow. Planning a wedding
isn't stressful at all.
It's gonna be all worth it.
Actually, I'm really
excited about this wedding.
Oh, George. George, over here.
Thank you.
Uh, you're now receiving your online
shopping deliveries in the cafeteria?
I didn't wanna be rude and
do it during French class.
I'm assuming that is a present
for my parents' wedding.
No, the invitation said no gifts.
Actually, it didn't.
Well, mine did. I penciled it in.
This is my new outfit for work today.
Adam has seen all my other clothes.
I don't know how much longer me and my
mom's credit card can keep this up.
Here's an idea, Marisa. Don't keep it up.
Either he likes you for you or he doesn't.
No amount of cute outfits in
the world's gonna change that.
Sh. Not in front of the clothes.
Marisa, there's only
one way to know for sure.
You're right. Tell him
I'm moving to Argentina,
see if he visits me during spring break.
Okay, there's only two
ways to know for sure.
But before you ship him off to South
America, let's try my idea first.
Just show up to work with greasy hair,
no makeup, and your
plain most boring outfit.
Why can't I just move to Argentina?
Marisa, think of it as a test.
A love test.
Fine. But why is your solution
to everything to take a test?
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
Let your man get that.
For milady.
Here comes the choo-choo.
Thanks. I'm not hungry anymore.
I gotta go stop by the library.
Stop right there!
Milady.
Why'd you do that?
So you don't get your shoes dirty.
Well, I could've just walked
around it, like a normal person.
Anyway, call me later.
Hey, Akina.
It's later.
So... how you doing?
What did those roses ever do to you?
Watch and learn, Judy.
I am setting the stage
for the perfect proposal.
Dad will say something romantic, Mom
will cry, and then they'll kiss.
And then I'll vomit.
Just keep it off the petals.
Hey, KC, what did those
roses ever do to you?
I am setting a romantic atmosphere
for you to propose to Mom.
Propose? Oh, honey,
this whole wedding thing
- is getting out of control.
- And expensive.
Hey, I cancelled Michael Bublé.
There is nothing left to scale back on.
I demand a proper proposal.
Like a dog with a bone.
All right, stand in the middle.
Now hold hands. Hold hands, go ahead.
There we go.
Judy, lights to position two.
All right, now, Dad,
three, two, one. Dazzle us.
So Kira, what do you say we...
Wait!
You need to get down on one knee.
Child, I am not getting down on one knee.
If he does, he might not get back up again.
Good point.
- Honey, why don't you crouch a little?
- For you.
What is wrong with you people?
I am trying to make this wedding
as memorable as the first one.
Please. Who remembers that day?
It's all a blur.
Excuse me?
You don't remember our wedding day?
Not really.
It was a long time ago, baby.
I mean, do you at least
remember what you said to me
after I walked down the aisle?
Of course.
I said, "Is that what you're wearing?"
(Laughing)
Oh.
So what, this is just a big joke to you?
Uh, Judy, back to one, please.
You said that you would never forget
that moment, but apparently, you have.
Sweetie, are you gonna
make a big deal outta this?
Are you gonna remember it if I do?
Uh, first song.
You guys have not picked a first song yet.
The most important day of our
lives meant nothing to you.
Any song will do. Anything
but Michael Bublé.
Kira, enough is enough.
"Enough Is Enough."
I've never heard that
one, but you know what?
If you like it, I like it, too.
Enough is enough?
For your information, Craig,
I happen to remember every
detail like it happened yesterday.
Baby, this is silly.
You know what? If it's so silly,
then why don't we just
call the whole thing off?
- If that's what you want, fine.
- Fine!
Thank you, KC.
Yeah. Thanks a lot, KC.
Well, he didn't say anything romantic,
they didn't kiss, but she sure did cry.
C.Ch Hello.
Is something wrong?
Oh, no.
Everything is great.
Except me and Adam are no longer a couple.
Oh. I'm really sorry about
that, Marisa. What happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
I took your advice.
I didn't dress up for work,
I didn't wash my hair,
I didn't put on makeup,
and I wore overalls.
That's right. Overalls.
What happened? He broke up with you
because he thought you looked terrible?
No. Worse.
He told me that I have never looked cuter.
And how is that a bad thing?
How am I supposed to date someone
who does not appreciate
my fabulous sense of style,
and how much work I put into looking good.
It's over. Thanks a lot, KC.
Thanks a lot, KC.
What did I do?
Thanks to you, Akina's
no longer interested.
And how is that my fault?
You were the one who told me to act
like this may never happen again.
And guess what. Now it won't.
Look, relax, okay?
If you want my advice
on how to get her back...
No. Keep your advice to yourself.
- You're a jinx. A love jinx.
- That is ridiculous.
Doesn't sound ridiculous to me.
You know what? There is nothing sadder
than two people who blame their
failed relationships on someone else.
If you want my advice...
Both: We don't!
Stay away from her, you two.
She's a love jinx.
A love jinx!
Craig: Hey, here's a proposal.
How about you sleep on the couch?
So is fighting like cats and
dogs a part of romance?
They're not fighting.
Dad is just, you know, trying
to make things unpredictable.
That is how you keep romance alive.
Kira: I could sleep on the kitchen counter
with the disposal running, and it would
still be quieter than your snoring.
And Mom is just offering him some
feedback on a possible health issue.
Okay, who am I kidding?
Ernie's right, I'm a love jinx.
But you know what? I have got
to fix things with my parents.
Watch and learn.
(Clears throat)
Mom, quick. I need your help.
Twisted my ankle.
Ow. A couple more "W's." Send.
Dad, Ernie's trying to cook again.
- KC, I got your text.
- Ernie, get away from the oven.
I see your ankle's all right.
Uh-uh. Guys.
You need to talk to each
other and work this out.
I have nothing to say to this man.
And this man has nothing
to hear from that woman.
Guys, you should not be fighting like this.
This isn't you.
Look, it's my fault.
I got upset when I realized you
guys weren't technically married,
because out of all the people in the world,
you guys are the perfect married couple.
You're the perfect parents.
I think of building a
life with someone one day,
and I want my marriage
to be just like yours.
The only reason I wanted to
have this big, beautiful ceremony
is 'cause I love and
respect you guys so much.
I just wanted you guys to have
cake and dresses and a party.
I wanted everything to be just like the
first day you walked down the aisle.
And I wanted it to mean something.
It meant something the first time.
The moment I saw your
mother walk down that aisle,
I knew in my heart I was hers forever.
You gave me that little wink.
You remembered.
Of course I remembered.
It was the best moment of my life.
The moment my life truly started.
That's exactly what you said that day.
Oh, right. Gotcha.
Kira.
I have loved loving you these past
years, and I don't intend to ever stop.
Will you marry me... again?
I will.
See that? Dad said something romantic,
and now they're kissing just like I said.
Judy, are you crying?
No. My orbital socket is leaking.
It's a... manufacturer's defect.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today, against my better judgment,
Heck of a turnout.
Look, a guy just got arrested here.
Technically, it's still a crime scene.
Kira, do you take Craig to be your husband,
knowing everything you already know?
- Daddy. I do.
- Oh.
- Craig.
- Yes.
Do you take Kira to make you
the luckiest man on Earth?
I do, I definitely do.
Oh.
Then by the power vested in me, I
pronounce you husband and wife.
(Watch chiming)
Uh-oh.
Looks like we're gonna have
to honeymoon in Luxemburg.
We just got a mission.
- Kids.
- Bye.
- Pops.
- Yeah.
I didn't know you were ordained.
Did you do it over the internet?
Ordained over the internet?
No. I just repeated what
people always say on TV.
Then that means they're not really married.
Someone grab a minister. We're
moving this party to Luxemburg.
Let's go.
Rob, your name's on TV.