-♪ What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ♪
♪ Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ♪
♪ Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ♪
♪ I will try not to
sing out of key, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪
- ♪ by with a little help
from my friends ♪
-♪ All I need is my buddies ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ - ♪
try with a little help from my friends ♪
-♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪
-♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
-♪ Somebody who
knows quite sure ♪
♪ Baby ♪
-♪ By with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Said I'm gonna make
it with my friends ♪
-♪ Try with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Oh, I'm gonna
keep on trying ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
♪ I'm gonna keep on
trying now, baby ♪
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
-The 1970s were filled
with improbable events,
Strange occurrences,
Unexpected happenings.
But nothing was
quite as improbable
As my brother...
And his new girlfriend.
-Why is sandy tyler
dating your brother?
Got me.
-What is it, like some kind
of science experiment?
-Got me.
-It defied explanation.
Sandy tyler was a seemingly
intelligent 11th-grader.
She was smart. She was pretty.
-She's out of her mind.
-Seemed as good an
explanation as any.
-Hey, kev. How's it going?
-Hi, kevin.
-Hi. How you doing?
-Good.
"Scarlet letter," huh?
Yeah, we read that last year.
-Yeah. It's really...
- Thick?
- Yeah.
It's really thick.
-And stupid.
I mean, the lady is
tempted once by love,
And she's made a
complete outcast.
I think the town overreacted.
Right, wayne?
-Uh...
Uh... Indubitably.
It was amazing.
- Well, we better get going.
- Okay.
- Come on.
- Bye.
-By some fantastic
stroke of cosmic luck,
My brother had found paradise...
A girl with charm,
a girl with style,
A girl... Who used
her silverware.
-This is great, mrs. Arnold.
-Yes. It's, uh, superb.
-Oh, well, thank you.
-Needless to say,
it was a shock.
I was shocked.
Dad was shocked.
-Only my mother seemed
to have expected this.
-So, how did you two meet?
Let me tell.
I was running to class
and I tripped on the stairs
And I was falling
and all of a sudden...
There was wayne.
-Lucky me.
- I'll say.
- I'll say.
-Yep, wayne was really
improving himself socially.
-Not to mention academically.
-Don't look at the keys.
Don't look at the keys.
Don't look at the keys.
Don't look at the keys.
Don't look at the keys.
Excellent technique, mr. Arnold.
-Thanks.
-Not you.
-Thanks.
-Let's face it. The
guy was on a roll.
-Let's see your
work, mr. Arnold.
-Whereas for me...
The story of my
life read more like...
-"Dodopklin erflemma
maschmal klum
Scalami asterotera spalumpkum."
-I didn't look at the keys.
-Sophomores.
-It was true.
While my worthless
brother was hitting his stride,
I seemed to be losing
ground, and fast.
For one thing, I was in a
very serious dating slump.
I'm not sure why, exactly.
-Hey, I'd watch out for
those mashed potatoes.
I bet there's a lot
of parasites in 'em.
-Creep.
-Possibly... Just possibly...
It had something to
do with my technique.
Seemed the harder I
tried, the worse things got.
-Okay. See you later.
-Bye.
-Batter up!
-Hey, alice. How you doing?
-Hi, kevin.
-What's wrong?
-My geometry teacher
caught me cheating.
I don't even think
it is cheating!
- Well, it's not!
- You weren't there!
-Right. But... I bet it wasn't.
-Instead of copying
the notes from the book,
I copied from
someone else's paper.
It's not like I wrote
the answer on my hand!
What difference does it
make who I copied from?
Now my teacher's
gonna tell my parents
And I'm gonna get an "f,"
And it's gonna be on
my permanent record!
-You want to go to the
dance with me on friday?
-Huh?
-Okay. My timing might
have been a little off.
-I'm sorry.
I know you're upset
and everything.
-No. It's okay.
I'd like to go with you.
-Great.
-But richard rachman
already asked me.
-Oh.
Yeah. Richard.
-He's very sensitive.
-The guy sniffed his gym socks.
-Yeah. He's... Real sensitive.
Well, I hope you feel better.
-Thanks.
Kevin?
Can I copy your history notes?
-It didn't make sense.
- Bye.
- Bye.
-All over school,
Girls were going out with
jerks and calling them "sensitive"
Or dumb guys and
calling them "deep."
It just wasn't fair.
I decided to get away,
be alone, by myself,
Forget all about things like...
Romance.
-Hi.
-Hi!
-Hi.
-Sorry. I didn't know
anyone was down here.
-It's okay. Come on, sit down.
-Yeah. Join us.
-Talk about your warm welcomes.
-No, thanks. I got a
lot of stuff to do.
-Kevin, sit down. We're
watching "sonny and cher."
-Yeah.
-Well, maybe for a second.
-Great.
-Being... Being sexy is
not that big of a deal.
-How would you know?
-Okay. Best comedy team.
-Abbott and costello.
-Laurel and hardy.
-Martin and lewis.
-The three stooges.
"Why, I oughta..."
- "Why, I oughta..."
Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.
-That's not funny, cher.
-I couldn't believe it.
My brother, wayne,
was actually being funny
And charming.
-Uh, I got to go to the can.
-You know why you're jealous?
I have more talent
in my little finger...
This one here... Than
most people have...
-They are so good together.
-Let's hear it for sonny
bono's little finger.
-I-i think it's 'cause
they're so in love.
-Yeah, you can tell.
I mean, they really like
being around each other.
-Yeah.
-And suddenly, I felt
very relaxed with her.
Maybe because it was I didn't
have to ask her for a date.
-Do you think...
There's one special
person for everyone?
-I don't know.
I think you can be happy
with lots of people.
But there's probably
one person out there.
- Yeah. That's
what I think, too.
-But who knows if you're
ever gonna find that person?
I mean, my girl could be
in alaska, for all I know.
Yeah.
-Yeah.
-It was a heavy conversation.
-I've had it about
up to here with you.
-That's easy. You're short.
-Oh, I love it when she
makes those short jokes.
-Yeah, it's funny.
-I don't think she's trying
to be nasty or anything.
-No!
No. You can tell she's just
being funny and everything.
-♪ They say we're young
and we don't know ♪
♪ We won't find
out until we grow ♪
-♪ Well, I don't know
if all that's true ♪
♪ 'Cause you got me,
and, baby, I got you ♪
-Did I miss anything?
- No.
- No.
- ♪ I got you, babe ♪
- ♪ I got you, babe ♪
♪ I got you, babe ♪
♪ I got you, babe ♪
-The next morning, I was
feeling extremely guilty.
I had kissed my
brother's girlfriend.
At the same time,
I kept playing it over
and over again in my mind.
Sandy just leaned over and...
-Uh...
Hi, dad.
-Hi.
-I-i was just...
Uh...
Seeing... If...
Making sure that...
I... Wasn't doing anything.
-I didn't see anything.
-Oh.
-One thing was clear.
I couldn't handle
this thing alone.
-It was time to talk this
out privately, one on one.
-Hey, sandy.
-Hi, kevin.
-Hey.
-Hey.
How you guys doing?
-Great.
-Well... I'd...
Better go to class.
-And that was that.
The whole thing had
meant nothing at all,
In which case I felt relieved.
I felt happy.
I felt completely ticked off.
-Kevin?
-Oh.
Hi.
-We need to talk.
-Yeah. Right.
I mean, last night...
-We kissed.
-Yeah. We kissed.
And I don't know if that
meant anything or not.
-Did it mean something to you?
-Yeah, it meant something.
-It meant something to me, too.
It's just that, uh, kevin,
I'm dating your brother.
-I know.
And it makes me feel creepy.
I've done some strange
things in my life, but, uh...
Going out with two brothers...
-It was weird.
Here she was,
baring her soul to me,
And all I could think of was...
What other strange things?
-The thing is, I like wayne.
I mean, he's so...
So...
He's so basic.
-Yeah.
He's... Basic.
And he's real nice.
-It's just that I don't know
what happened last night.
You seemed so lonely.
-Oh.
-And... We were watching
"sonny and cher"
And they were together and...
And we kissed.
And it was almost like
sonny and cher kissed.
This is a dumb
conversation, huh?
-Kind of.
-It's just all too crazy.
-Yeah.
It is.
-Yeah.
I think it would be best
If we could, uh,
just be friends.
-Yeah.
You're right.
I think friends is...
Definitely the way to go.
Yeah.
-Was that a friendship kiss?
Yeah.
We should definitely
just be friends.
-♪ They say we're young
and we don't know... ♪
-For the rest of the day,
We were friends all over school.
-♪ Well, I don't know
if that's all true ♪
♪ 'Cause you got me,
and, baby, I got you ♪
-Sure, I knew it was wrong.
But I didn't care.
-Dad...
Can I borrow a couple bucks?
-Until that friday.
-Well, I'm taking sandy
to the dance tonight.
-Oh.
-Things were getting
a little complicated.
-Are you going, kevin?
-To put it mildly.
Are you kidding?
Butthead can't get a date.
-Yeah, I'm going.
-Oh. Well, that's good.
Maybe you'll meet someone there.
-If only she knew.
-You know, your father
and I met at a school dance.
Do you remember that, jack?
-Uh-huh.
-It's the last time you ever
talked to d*ck claiborne.
-Great.
I'm stuck in this
terrible situation,
And my mother is
gonna relive old times.
-He was your
father's best friend.
d*ck took me to the dance,
But I saw your father there.
Of course, I'd seen him before,
But he was in a new suit.
Skinny as a rail.
-Anyway...
They had this
terrible fight over me,
And they haven't talked since.
-So?
-So...
It was worth it.
-And for some reason,
suddenly, I was listening.
Had my father really said that?
So...
It was worth it.
-He had.
And as those words
rang in my head like a gong,
I made up my mind.
No matter what it did to wayne,
I would have to be with sandy.
She was definitely worth it.
-Hey, butthead.
What do you think of the shirt?
- It looks cool.
- I'll change.
-I began to build my case.
Look at him. He
didn't deserve her.
He was disgusting.
"Basic"? He was subhuman.
He was a cretin.
He always picked
on me, took my stuff,
Treated me like dirt.
The guy never offered me
one thing in his entire life.
-You need a ride tonight?
-Except for a ride.
-You're talking to me?
-Yeah! You can come
with sandy and me.
-I don't know, wayne.
-Come on. It'll be fun.
-It was horrible.
Here I was, trying to
knock the guy down,
And all he was
being was... Nice.
-You really like her, huh?
-Duh. Yeah.
-And then he said
something I'll never forget.
-Sandy...
Makes me better than I am.
Whatever that means.
Um... I'm leaving
in a half-hour.
Be ready.
-And then I realized who
the cretin really was.
It was me.
I was lower than a cretin.
I was lower than subhuman.
I was yeast.
-♪ If a picture... ♪
♪ If a picture paints
a thousand words ♪
♪ Then why can't I paint you? ♪
-Don't do this.
-♪ When i... ♪
-♪ The words will
never show... ♪
-♪ Ne... Mm ♪
♪ The you I've grown to know ♪
-As I sat there,
Feeling the romance in that car,
I knew I'd been kidding myself.
I could never go
through with this.
-Hmm.
Let's boogie.
-Wayne...
Let's just stay in
the car for a minute.
I-i need to talk to you.
-Unfortunately, sandy could.
-Yeah! Let's all stay.
-Kevin, I need to
talk to wayne alone.
-Well, I don't mind
staying. Really.
-Kid likes hanging around me.
-Kevin...
-♪ You come and
pour yourself on me ♪
-Um...
-I couldn't hear what
they were saying,
But I didn't have to.
I knew what it meant.
-♪ ...i'd be with you ♪
-♪ Well, take me back down
where cool water flows, yeah ♪
-I walked around in a daze,
Worried that sandy
had broken up with him...
Worried that she hadn't.
-Hey!
Kevin.
How you doing?
-Okay.
- Let's go.
- Uh-huh.
-Your dates look cool.
-Oh, thanks.
I hope they come back.
-♪ I can hear the
bullfrog callin' me ♪
-I'll see you guys later, okay?
- Sandy.
- Kevin.
-You can't break up with wayne.
-I just did. I had to.
-What did he say?
-He felt bad. So did i.
-Does he know... About us?
We shouldn't have done this.
-Kevin, I really
want to be with you.
-I got to go talk to him.
Hey.
How you doing?
-♪ They say every distance... ♪
-Look, wayne...
Listen, i...
-I broke up with sandy.
-What?
-Dumped her.
-You did?
-Yeah.
It wasn't working out.
She wasn't my type.
-♪ I see my light come shinin' ♪
-The thing is, I don't want
to get philosophical...
But I think even
though she's hurt,
And...
Even though she feels...
Like nobody loves her
and she's all alone...
-♪ I shall be released ♪
- It's better if it ended fast
Because she...
Has a better chance
of getting over it...
-♪ They say that
every man must fall ♪
- Someday.
-♪ Yet I swear I
see my reflection ♪
♪ Somewhere so high... ♪
-As I sat there,
Listening to my brother's pain
And the lies he
told to cover it,
I didn't know what to do.
I knew I wanted
to be with sandy,
Holding her in my
arms, dancing with her.
-♪ From the west
down to the east ♪
-But in the end, I
stayed with my brother.
Because, after all...
He was my brother.
-♪ Now yonder stands a
man in this lonely crowd ♪
-Butthead.
-Buttbrain.
-♪ A man who swears
he's not to blame ♪
♪ All day long, I hear
him shouting so loud ♪
♪ Just crying out
that he was framed ♪
♪ I see my light come shinin' ♪
♪ From the west... ♪