04x20 - The Vibranium Coast

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[IRON MAN NARRATING] An alien named
the Beyonder took pieces of worlds,

then mashed them together
to build Battleworld.

[CAPTAIN AMERICA NARRATING] The people
from those places, including the Avengers,

were brought to this world.

The Beyonder calls this his experiment.

We call it twisted and dangerous.

Now with Loki on our side,
we're rebuilding a new Bifrost

so we can undo Battleworld
and the Beyonder's

experiment and send everyone home.

What we need next is Vibranium,

an element even rarer here
than back on Earth.

And we're gonna need a lot of it.

Thieves have been rumored to be
selling Vibranium in the west.

So to catch a thief,
we're sending our former thief,

the best man for the job.
[SNORING]

I know it's super important
that we get back home to Earth,

but can we please
take a moment to acknowledge

just how awesome Battleworld is?

[SNORING CONTINUES]

Huh? Huh? Well, yeah, if by awesome,
you mean, I'm awesomely terrified

that the Avengers are counting
on me not to screw up, then yes.

You know, I'm not even sure
if Battleworld has ants.

Mm. Now I'm all bummed out.
[MONITOR BEEPING]

Ant-Man, we got something.
Over there!

O.M.G.! It's Atlantis!
Or Monster Island.

I know you've been before,
but I'm just dying to...

Whoa, Ms. Marvel.
Hold up.

Is that...

A pirate ship?

[GRUNTS] [LOUD BLAST]

[BOTH YELL]
[ALARM BLARING]

[ANT-MAN] We're going down!

[YELLING]

[ANT-MAN] Don't worry! I got this!

[BOTH GRUNT]

Huh?

My, my. What have we here?

A couple of stowaways.

[MS. MARVEL] Typhoid Mary.

[ANT-MAN] Ugh! Typhoid Mary?
[SCREECHES]

[CHITTERING]
Hey! That's mine!

We're not stowaways.
You sh*t us out of the sky!

Mm, no, I didn't.

Yes, you did!

I think I'd remember doing that.
Oh, goody! This'll be fun.

You know what we do
with stowaways, don't you?

You make them walk the plank?

Actually, no.

I was planning on dropping you off
at the nearest port, even Stephens.

But walk the plank?! Now, that's
a great idea, sweetheart!

Why didn't I think of that?

Nice one.

[AWKWARD CHUCKLE]

Gather round, you land-lubbin',
scurvy-ridden swine!

See what happens to those who
oppose Captain Bloody Typhoid Mary.

Um, I don't see a crew.

Aye. We were strong

when we set sail from Port Hydra,

seeking a treasure so grand,

the very sight of it
has driven many men mad.

Four days into crossing
the Sea of Bitter Tears,

the men were seasick,
suffering from dysentery.

The trip couldn't get any better.
When, suddenly, there was a...

Oh, sh**t. What's the word? Oh, yeah.

A mutiny.
So the crew had to go.

Wha... "Go"? Go, go,
like, they swam somewhere?

A nice little island, maybe?

Swim? [GIGGLES] You're cute.

They couldn't swim. But all their
splashing sure got the sharks' attention.

So your old crew is gone, and you've
got no crew steering the ship?

I've got it under control.

Now, where were we?
Oh, yeah. The plank!

It's just water.

But oh, while you're down there, could
you do something about all those sharks?

They keep following me around.
It's so annoying.

Can't you, like, call some
crustaceans to come rescue us?

What do I look like?
Shrimp-Boy?

[GASPS]

[GROWLS]

Oh, drat!
Dread-Skull is here.

"Dread-Skull"?
You mean "Red Skull"?

Aye.
[GRUNTS]

The Skull rules these here waters.

That's why they call it
the Red Skull Sea.

Who's "they"?

[MS. MARVEL] Red Skull and Crossbones.

Okay, guys, I know we both
said some things we regret.

So, how about we call a truce,
let bygones be bygones,

then you two help me fight Red Skull?

Seriously? You think
we're gonna help you

after you were about
to walk us off a plank?

Plank?
Pfft! What plank?

I don't even think this
ship comes with a plank.

[LAUGHS]

Look, sweetheart, either you sail
with me or rot in Red Skull's brig.

Your choice.

[ANNOYED GROANS]

- I'll need my helmet back.
- Koko, helmet!

[GROANS]

Ouch.

[SCREECHING]
I hate that monkey.

To your battle stations!

Don't worry.
They only go after pirates.

- You're a pirate!
- Don't worry!

I've got a plan for that.

We are in over our heads.

We gotta get away from this
ship and back to our mission.

Yeah, okay, this is ridiculous,
but we can handle the situation.

We're Avengers.
[METALLIC SQUEAKING]

The whole reason I got out of
the thief-for-hire business

was to avoid the unbalanced
and unpredictably evil.

[WHISPERING]
Psst! Guys! Guys!

I think the flag is working!
[GRUNTS]

Yep, definitely working!
[YELLING]

You were saying?

[GRUNTS]

Scuttle the ship, destroy the Avengers,

but I want Typhoid Mary alive!

Fire!

[CANNONS CONTINUE f*ring]

I'm afraid to ask,

but why is Red Skull trying
to blow us out of the water?

Mm, someone might have
stolen his treasure map.

By any chance, was that someone you?

Hmm? I'm not sure how that's
relevant to our current situation.

Anyhoo, the map leads
to the richest cache

of Vibranium on Battleworld.

[GRUNTS]

- Vibranium?
- Um, yeah.

Why do you think they call it
the Vibranium Coast?

Try and keep up, darlings.
[WIND HOWLING]

She's got ya there.

We're not gonna outrun them,
but maybe we can outgun them.

Ms. Marvel,
help me load this thing.

[MS. MARVEL] Grow disc
locked and loaded. [BEEPING]

[ANT-MAN] Fire!

Incoming!

[GRUNTS]

[ALL YELLING]

[WATER SPLASHING]

Nice embiggening!

[CHUCKLES]
Red Skull looks miserable.

Betcha they've had enough
and are gonna retreat.

Bring her about! Port cannons
on my command! Fire!

You may take me, but you'll never
take my crew alive, Skull!

As if that mattered at all.

Skullbots, brace for impact!

[CROSSBONES] Yaargh!

[BOTH YELL]

[ANT-MAN] Prepare to repel boarders!

Too late.
We're in trouble.

Uh-oh.

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Oh. They're made out of metal.

You'll never take my ship alive,
you ugly, rusty buckets!

[GRUNTS]

Did she just sink her own ship? Because
it sure looks like she sunk her own ship.

"By order of His Excellency,
Admiral Skull,

"we hereby seize this vessel,

her goods, and passengers."

I cannot believe you sunk my ship!

What kind of sick monster sinks another
person's ship for absolutely no reason?

You do realize you sunk your own ship,
and you sh*t our ship out of the sky?

Hmm? I don't remember that.

What do you mean
you don't remember that?

Okay, I think you may have mixed me
up with someone else, Shrimp-Boy.

That is your name, right? Wait.
Don't tell me. I don't care.

Ugh! Why does she get a chair?

Enough stalling! Tell me what
you've done with the stolen map.

[GRUNTING]

Oh.

Is this the map you're looking for?

Ugh! Don't ya hate it
when that happens?

Without that chart, there's
no way to find the treasure.

Ugh! I know that, you fool.

But I know Typhoid Mary wouldn't
have destroyed the map,

not unless she committed
the route to memory.

Isn't that right, Mary?

If I lead you to the treasure,
I get to keep it. Fairsies?

This is not a negotiation.

No, it's a sword, silly.

Tie her to the ship's mast.

Perhaps being pecked at by gulls
will loosen her tongue.

Ooh, don't get my hopes up.

Take her away!

What about these reject Avengers?

Lock them in the brig.

They may be of use,
should their friends arrive.

- Skullbot? Wonder what he did.
- If there was more tech around,

maybe I could jury-rig some way
to disable these power dampeners,

- or get us outta here.
- Look, we got into this mess.

Well, technically, Typhoid
Mary got us into this mess.

But we can get ourselves out of it.

We're Avengers, right?
So, that's what we'll do.

This would be easier to do
with my powers.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [GASPS]

- Hoo. Got it.
- [CLEARS THROAT]

Sorry. Mm.

Well, I don't even know
if this thing'll do any good.

Oh, hey, never mind.
I got it.

Master thief, remember?

Gotta dust off those skills
once in a while.

[GULLS SCREECHING]
[GRUNTING, LAUGHING]

Ow! [LAUGHS] Hey, that tickles!

Hey, where are you going?
We're just getting started.

Was it something I said?

[GRUNTS]
[METALLIC CLINKING ON GROUND]

You get your helmet.
I'll get Typhoid Mary

and then figure out
how to get far away from here.

- Be careful.
- Why start now?

Mm-hmm.

[CHITTERING]
[GRUNTS]

The prisoners are loose!
Blast 'em!

♪♪ [HUMMING]

[DOOR CLOSES]
Huh?

Uhh...

- You!
- Me.

That!

[GROWLS]

[YELLS]
[GRUNTS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[CHUCKLES]
[KNUCKLES cr*ck]

You wouldn't break
out of the brig alone.

- Now tell me where your friends are.
- Ha!

You'll never find them. By now,
they've escaped and are miles away.

Oh. Didn't expect
to see you again so soon.

Slight change in plans.

[SCREECHING]
[GRUNTS]

Boss, they were trying to escape.

I'm aware of the situation.

No point in resisting.

There is no escape
from the Dread-Skull.

[CHITTERS]

I love a good challenge.
Koko, helmet!

[CHITTERS, SCREECHES]

[CHITTERING]
[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]
[GRUNTS]

Fool! Your parlor tricks
won't work.

There's no means of escape for you.

[GRUNTS]

[ANT-MAN] I found a way out,
and it is gonna be so cool!

Ms. Marvel, a little hand here.

Anytime.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

sh**t them!

No.

[g*nf*re CONTINUES]

[ANT-MAN] All aboard!

[SCREECHES, CHITTERS]
[SCREAMS]

[WATER SPLASHES]
Bon voyage, Red Skull!

Avast ye, Avengers!

Bu... I thought...

Can't believe you all fell
for a little sleight of hand.

Now, let's see where we're going.

According to the chart,
we stick to this heading,

sail the narrow channel
between all these islands,

then skirt past a sea monster,
and boom...

No Treasure Here Island.

[WIND HOWLING]

She has no idea what she's doing.

We'll figure it out.
We've gotten this far, right?

[THUNDEROUS THUD]
No, no, no, no!

Come about!

[MS. MARVEL] Too late! Find
something that floats and hold on!

[TYPHOID MARY] Land ho! [GROANING]

[ANNOYED GROAN]

I told ya we'd find it.
[CHITTERS]

Never said we'd be in
one piece when I did.

[CHITTERS]
Oh, drat.

Aw, nuts.
They followed us.

Yep, that seems about right.

Those suckers are taking
the scenic route.

Come on.
I know a shortcut.

Hold up, T.M.
You've been here before?

Who's got two thumbs and buried the
treasure here in the first place?

[MUFFLED SQUEAL]

We'd better get to it before they do.

[CHITTERS]

Hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Are you sure this is the way?

One thousand and two percent.

[SCREECHES]

[CHITTERING] What's got her so spooked?

You know, guys, sometimes
the path less traveled

is, uh, less traveled for a reason.

Oh, relax. The cannibals are on the
complete other side of the island.

And I'm pretty sure they're vegan.
[BRUSH RUSTLING]

Koko! Come out
here this instant.

We don't have time for shenanigans.

[ROARING]

[APES ROARING]

Aah! You're not Koko.
Wrong way!

[HOWLING]

Do we even want to know

what you did to make the apes so angry?
[GRUNTS]

It could have something to do with Koko
being betrothed to the troop's alpha,

- and her running off with me.
- Oh, great.

Angry, jilted monkey wants revenge.

[YELLS]
[HOWLING CONTINUES]

Typhoid Mary, we need to talk
about the meaning of "shortcut."

[LAUGHS]

- It worked!
- What worked?

Am I missing something?

Yeah! They're digging
in the wrong place!

[CRACKLING]
Mm.

Careful!

[BOTH GRUNT]

I can't believe I almost got squashed
by a primitive security system.

Hey, buddy, watch who you're
calling primitive.

[CRACKLING]

[ALL SCREAM]

Eh, my bad.
Forgot about that one.

"O" marks the spot?

[ALL GRUNTING]
[SHOVELS THUDDING]

Could really use some ants right now.

[CLANK]

[GRUNTS]

"I owe you one treasure.
Signed, Typhoid Mary."

What? Don't you guys
trust me?

- Not even a little.
- Nope!

Hmm.

[ANT-MAN, MS. MARVEL] Ohh.

[MS. MARVEL GASPS]
The Vibranium!

Well, that was easy.

Got it. Now we need
to call the Avengers.

[DREAD-SKULL] Guten Tag!

No more tricks, Mary.
Where's the Vibranium?

Um, what Vibranium?

The Vibranium we just dug up.

Weren't you paying attention?
There's a ton of it!

Yeesh, you guys
don't remember anything.

[ANNOYED GROAN]

Captured twice in one day.

I think that's a new record for me.

Three, actually, if you count...

Any last words, pirate scum?

Yes!

[ULULATING YELL]

[YELL ECHOING]

Hmm?

[MUMBLING SHRUG]

[SHRIEKING]

[CHITTERS]

Hmm?

[SCREECHING]

[ALL HOWLING]

Thanks, mate!

[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[CLICKS] Nowhere to run this time!

[GRUNTS]

[YELLS, GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]
[HOWLING CONTINUES]

You ready to embrace the crazy?
[GRUNTS]

Not really, but we're
gonna do it anyway.

Yarr, matey!

[CHITTERS]

Get 'em, girls!

[APES HOWLING]

[YELLS]

[GRUNTS]

[ROARS]

I only took Koko on a little
bachelorette weekend before the big day.

You can't stay mad forever.

[GROWLS]

So, truce?
[CHITTERS]

[CHITTERS]

[AGREEABLE GRUNT]

Good thing my parents
let me take fencing.

Fine. If you insist,
I'll take the treasure myself.

[YELLS]
[YELLS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Huh?

[GRUNTS]

Ms. Marvel, I've got a primitive idea.

Do it! I got this!

[GRUNTS]

[YELLS]

[GRUNTS, GROWLS]

Looks like your friend cut and ran.

Ready to give up now?

Never! Come on, you muckrakes!

Have at you!

[ALL GRUNTING]

Now I've got you.

[ANT-MAN] So long, barnacle breath!

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

You think a net can stop me?

[BOTH GROANING]

Arr, matey.

[IRON MAN] I found the Avenjet wreckage,
but no sign of Ant-Man or Ms. Marvel.

They've gotta be out here somewhere.
[BEEPS]

Heavey-ho,
you salty sea apes!

Put your back into it!

[CACKLING]

[IRON MAN] Let me get this straight.
You two just let Typhoid Mary go?

We kinda had to.

We couldn't have completed
our mission without her help.

Well, then, I respect that choice.

We're not in trouble?

Looks to me like you both
made the right call.

With the odds stacked against you,

you made a leadership decision,
and it paid off.

Of course, having such an excellent
role model doesn't hurt.

This is more than enough Vibranium
to rebuild the Bifrost.

Great work, you guys. Now what
say we get back to the base?

[BOTH] Aye, Captain.